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September 20, 2024 37 mins

In this special episode of The Agenda, live from Amsterdam on the Export Ultra Beer Garden Tour Of Munich, ACC Head G Lane & Manaia Stewart are joined by Jeremy Wells to recap the 43-hour flight, the toilet crimes at 40,000 feet and take a peek into the red light district…

Plus, they preview the 1st Bledisloe Cup match and an update on the Black Caps in Sri Lanka!

Brought to you by Export Ultra!

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Live from the Export Beer Garden Tour of Munich. This
is the Agenda Podcast for whatever data is.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I've got no idea. The Agenda Podcast Live from the
Export on Beer Garden Tour of Munich.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
And actually we're not in Munich. We're in Amsterdam, fellas.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Yeah, game day built up to the All Blacks game,
we thought we'd come to Amsterdam.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
Yeah, what better place than Amsterdam, and just just to
get the feel the vibe of that Bleaterslow Cup Test.
And I'll tell you what. I've been wandering around this
morning on the streets and the people are absolutely vibing
it here. There is an amazing vibe in Amsterdam about
that Blitterzoe Cup test.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Well there is.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Just last night we ran into a group of Welsh gentlemen, yes,
who'd come over for a four day long weekend. As
Joe Joy feverishly pulls a couple of beers out of
the fridge. Here, it's a nice called Export Ultra because
we've brought our own beers to the beer fest.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
But I digress. Yeah, we're down in Amsterdam.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Last night, but a first night fever, a couple of
Welsh gentlemen pulled up next to us, and they were
chewing our ears off about the Orbles team. They love
Wallace the City, big fans of that, but they do
feel like the aura is gone from the Orbles. They
said that there's no fear anymore. Yeah, teams don't fear them.
How good would it be though, to just be able
to pop over here for four days?

Speaker 4 (01:20):
Oh so good? Just before we really get stuck into
some code analysis, Yeah, can I just say we your
first New Zealand is to ever bring New Zealand beer
to Holland?

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Potentially is Has that ever happened before? I don't believe
it's a big export market for New Zealand. Ah No,
bringing beers into Holland, home of Heineken at home of Amstell.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
Look, it's one of the very very few kind of
world first that we pointless world first that the ACC
is renowned for. But this is not the first time
we've done a rugby build up from Amsterdam, because you
remember in twenty fifteen the World Cup, we did the
entire build up from the streets of Amsterdam and got
ourselves in quite a bit of bother about that. Bringing

(02:05):
the official build up to the World Cup final from Amsterdam, Well,
dangerously wasted on truffles, which we just thought was a
mushroom risotto and found out later that.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
It was not a mushroom rosotto.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
Boy, it wasn't. And then last night we just revisited
some of those scenes which just embedded into my memory,
and it turns out that essentially we didn't move more
than about fifty meters, so all of the things that
I remember, the babies having their nappies changed in a
very strange castle in the middle of a roundabout you

(02:35):
wearing penis glasses, outside of a ship that was also
doubled as a bar that was rolling across the ocean,
a bridge where we attempted to do the first ever
flying wedge piece to camera, and a peep show where
we all ended up peeping on each other rather than
the actual sex act which was going on in the
middle of us. It was all in the space of
about fifty meters on of course, the urinal, which we

(02:58):
sat in a bar and then commentated peace going in
and out of the urinal. It was nice to use
that urine last night, Actually.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah, it was.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
And the urinals here are quite interesting because they're on
the footpath and it's basically a waist height aluminium grate
and you can still look over the top of it,
and it's a grate on the ground. But what disturbed
me most because I used it as well. I thought
it was very handy. There was heaps of toilet paper. Yes,
that implies that potentially girls are coming and squatting there.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
I didn't don't as with this design for that.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
There's also something weird about making eye contact with strangers
while pissing out in the open. Yeah, out in public,
which is very very off putting. They are not in
great nick. I kind of thought they would be. I
don't know why we're in Europe. I was like, they'll
be flash. They were not.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
They were part urinal, part confessional. Did you notice that
the mish you could see through and I could see
people and people could see me, and it was like
you But obviously there was a piece of metal that
went around about nipple heights, so you couldn't see anything
below the nips, but I could see it on an
eye was eyeballing people as they were coming past. It
was quite quite high. Actually, oh, you enjoyed that? No,

(04:01):
I did. I found it. I found the smell absolutely disgusting.
I was like fifty million cats had urinated there over
fifty thousand years.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yeah, probably not far off.

Speaker 4 (04:10):
It was pretty gross, but yeah, you're right. The why
would people put rubbish a toilet paper? That means that
girls have obviously used That's what I was implying.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
But they've obviously bought their own toilet paper because there's
not a dispenser in there. It's just a hole you
urinate in.

Speaker 4 (04:23):
Yeah, although sometimes you get some weird guys who dabbed there. No, yeah, that, no,
they do. I had an ex girlfriend and her ex
her boyfriend, the guy that she was going out before me,
was a dab or toilet partner?

Speaker 2 (04:38):
What is he? Did he have a did he have
some sort of bladder control issue?

Speaker 4 (04:42):
Out with him? From like fifteen or sixteen? And so
when I didn't do that, she thought it was unusual.
She thought that all men did it. So she didn't
have any brothers.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
So what do you do?

Speaker 3 (04:50):
You you don't because you need normally you give it
the pooh, and you give it the whip for the bullwhip,
and you give it the bull whip and you get
rid of most kind of excess.

Speaker 4 (05:01):
Yeah, well I never saw him do it, but I
was told dribbler. Yeah, obviously, but I mean I was
told that you just could get a little bit of
toilet paper and just dab the end.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
I can't look at you the same. Yeah, for extra safety.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
What's wrong with you? You're disgusting your disgusting person.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Just to make sure, well, it can be a ruin,
a day ruiner if you do end up dribbling. You know, say,
for example, you've been cut short for some reason or
for it, or you're standing on a public street in Amsterdam.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
You need to cut it short. Yeah, you know, it
is a day ruiner. You know, it ruin you know.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yeah. And also when you get to my age, you know,
late forties, things don't tighten off as well as they
used to. You can turn the tap off, yeah, but
it's like you need to get a plumber and just
to just to put some of the washers sort of broken.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Or some plumbing tape just around the fred that's what
that's what you need.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah, it's not yet quite heavy snap flight over Fellas. Yeah,
it was a long and arduous one, although you've been
comparing it to Chi Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
Oh yeah, because at the time it's I mean a lock,
not that I mean I've given birth to three children
so far, and not half as traumatic for me as
it was for my wife.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
But you always go back, don't you.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
It's a horrific experience, But two days later you completely
forget about it. And as soon as we landed in
Dubai had a beers out there. I'd completely forgotten about
how traumatic that seventeen hours was.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
And it was traumatic because they offered us a choice
of beef or chicken lane and I took the beef
and boy died.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
It wrek havoc on our intestines.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Yeah, beef, beef by name and certainly beef by nature
because I had so much gas.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah, it was out of control.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
Yeah, it's fine for you, but I mean you were
probably enjoying the smell of your gas, whereas the rest
of the cabin. Yeah, and I was one of the
members of the rest of the cabin were getting mouthfuls
of methane about every what five minutes at one stage.
And then you went off and destroyed a toilet. You
destroyed there were a number of toilets, and you destroyed it.
And then two penguins came in after you and they

(07:01):
were shocked. They were like, oh, it stinks.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Hey, I wasn't alone. I had a teammate, I know.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
And I felt bad because Joe Jury was sitting next
to me in the aisle seat and I just was
like he was struggling to get to sleep. But I
was like, I'm sorry, I have to climb over you
to go to the toilet because there is so much
gas building up in me.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
The pressure.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
It's like, you know how if you check in luggage,
sometimes a pottle or something in your bed can explode
because of the pressure. That's how my stomach felt while
I was sitting there. So and I went into the
bathroom and it was just straight gas and just the
volume of it, the sheer amount just about lifting me
off the seat. But god, there is no better feeling
than farting away a stomach ache.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Oh yeah, the relief that was like lean It was
like popping a balloon.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yeah, slowly, when you.

Speaker 4 (07:47):
Can see it go down. There is nothing better than that.
But part of the definition of intelligence is when you
learn from your mistakes. I mean, that's that's kind of
how humanity works. We all go through different things and
we learned you to generation. Interestingly, a sec hered g
laying over here he had the beef cheeks as you did,
Terminigh and Joe, as you have the beef checks as well.

(08:08):
I had the chicken. And by the way, the checken
was delicious and had the beef cheeks. It had a
terrible effect on your guts and therefore had a terrible
effect on the rest of the cabin and plane. But
then when we're on the next leg, the option of
food again was chicken, meatballs or beef strogen off. And
you've gone back for a beef strong enough. I mean,

(08:29):
that's not learning from your experience. Next thing, you know,
you were doing even worse futs. You'd gone beef on beef.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
You asked you, you were teasing me.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
You were taunting me. You're going dear to get the
beef again, to get the beef again. You were like
this little devil on my shoulder on the plane. And
then when she came and asked me, I just blurted
it beef and you're like yes.

Speaker 4 (08:50):
I thought, there's no way he's going to get the
beef again. It's like, no, he'll go the beef again.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
There was no lesson learnt at all.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
Had an abatoire going on in your guts, it's just terrible.

Speaker 3 (09:01):
But of course we had We also had ten great
New Zealanders with us on the flight. Hugh and Brandon
from Dean Yep, yeah, they were there. We had Andy
and Nick from Hastings yep. Actually from Birmingham. Birmingham by Birmingham.
James and Tom joined us, Callum and Phil Callum and

(09:22):
Callum and p and Mal as well on the trip,
all great New Zealanders.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yes, and they were just they was. It was surreal
for them.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
I remember we caught the coaching from the airport and
one of them I think was that Callum was just
pinching his mate.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
He was like, what are you doing? Just checking my head?
This doesn't make any sense, doesn't make anything.

Speaker 3 (09:41):
We're in Amsterdam, it's twenty degrees, it's summer, it's a
European summer, and we got the day off today and
then we hit the Heineken factory tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yes, but the big thing is where are we going
to watch the rugby and how are we going to
watch the work?

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, when it's at seven in the morning, because it's
five thirty over in Sydney, So Zealand three thirty Sydney.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Is it day or night now here, Yeah, night where
we are right now?

Speaker 4 (10:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Day this morning I'm just saying, at the sun by
the angle, it feels a lot like the daytime. It does,
doesn't it to me? Although it was like morning to me,
I've lost all sense of time and directioned So seven
so three point thirty in Australia, which means five thirty
in New Zealand five forty five.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
Yeah, so then, which means seven thirty in the morning here. Well,
that's not a bad time.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
No, it's not bad.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
It's just I think it's where we find a place
open is and able to play.

Speaker 4 (10:35):
I don't know where Nowhere always kind to play in
New Zealand and New Zealand playing Australia somewhere in No way.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
We're gonna we might have to get everyone into this
room and just cast it onto the TV.

Speaker 4 (10:44):
Yeah. Well we do have a TV that's about sixty
five feet wide and about thirty feet high, because yeah,
it takes up half the roomless TV.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
I've only ever seen a TV the big in our
studio back home. It's right as the size the size
of the TV in a studio. But the thing is
all it's got is free to ear TV, which I
love watching whenever i'm overseas. Last year when we went
to Paris, Heath and I watched so much daytime French
TV because there's just something weird about watching it. We
don't understand the language and it looks just like every

(11:14):
TV show. We've got New Zealand as well, the spital
of that. That's all we can watch on your seventy
five inches of TV. The hotel we're in is to
describe it, it's like three wedges of cheese placed on
top of each other at different angles.

Speaker 4 (11:26):
Yeah, three witches of gooda.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yes, it looks like a building that belonged in Dubai
if i'm it's next to the big Motorway. It's a
very nice hotel, but it's the opposite.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
The big Mount Wellington and by Boys Car supermarket over
there and the big McDonald's.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
It's had potentially one of the best buffet breakfasts I've
had a very long time, Say.

Speaker 4 (11:46):
Well, how goods in the four when we arrived, and
it's a help yourself honesty system with a cafeteria you
just sort of help yourself. Here is wine, yeah, anything,
and then it's got a whole lot of lollies and
it's like help yourself picking max and don't even have
to pay for them. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
I didn't test it out last night. We went down
and we.

Speaker 1 (12:04):
Picked up a couple of beers at about two in
the morning, and I was looking at it and I
was like, how many times am I going to come
in here before I just try and snake them with
that b Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
I thought about last night because you needed to swipe
an over eighteen card which we didn't have, and I
thought about and for a split second, I just take them.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
And as I said that, I said maybe they got cameras.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
And I looked up and there was a camera right
above my head looking me straight in the eye.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
I was like, I'll wait for someone.

Speaker 4 (12:29):
That's about the most inconvenient things so far I've experienced here,
because everything else here, nobody in Holland and the Netherlands,
everything is made easy for you. Yes, it's like, how
can we it's so everyone's so hospitable. Yeah, I mean
the people in the hotel are so helpful. And someone
someone said at breakfast this morning that they said that
their coffee machine could do with a little bit a

(12:49):
few more coffee pods. Oh yeah, and as they just
sort of made a suggestion because apparently when they went
online or something, I said, how's everything going, any suggestions?
They said, maybe a few more coffee pods. Within five minutes,
someone from the hotel was up there and delivering coffee
pods into the into their hotel room.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Oh that's that's service.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
How good is that?

Speaker 3 (13:08):
They're also it's hot spitable as well, because it's very
good looking race. Oh yeah, very good looking race to Dutch.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
Yeah, we've got in our position as one of the
weages of cheese in this particular, well, we're kind of
in a transport hub in a funny sort of way.
We've got we've got a motorway, we've got tram lines,
we've got a train track, and we've got six bike lanes, yes,
which meander their way underneath us. And as a result,
some of the breaths are fresh air. That just and

(13:33):
no helmets here, which is great, so you can really
see people's faces properly.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
But there's there's something for the mums and the deads.

Speaker 4 (13:38):
Oh, because the dudes are.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Tall, athletic, well, the tallest average height in the world,
I believe, Holland Yeah, I think they're running around the
six three for an average height for a man, but
most of them are around the bloody six six is.
But the great thing about the way they boke obviously
the whole town is flat. It's all at sea level
or actually under sea level, isn't it, And so everyone's meandering,
no one's racing. I feel like if this was in

(14:01):
New Zealand, it'd be some absolute wounded coming past you
a million miles an hour. But no one does that,
I presume because they don't want to get where they're
going and just be covered and sweat.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
So they're just chilling.

Speaker 3 (14:11):
And also they've got no helmets, they don't so they're
going up five kilometers an hour, just turtling along.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
And they're also going to work, so they're all quite
well dressed.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
Up and watching someone in full corporate attire on a bike,
fully made up, a woman in a dress, yes, fully
made up, make it ready to go riding one of
a bike where you're made to have good posture.

Speaker 4 (14:31):
Oh that's it, and you sit up so you can
really see all of them, yeah, you know, which is
quite nice, rather than hunched over some handlebars low down
where you end up looking at someone's brow. This is like, no, no,
you get the full picture of the whole body. Yeah,
everything presents itself.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, because people can putty laughing.

Speaker 3 (14:47):
For Joe, you're you spent the first hour up against
the glass.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
He did, he did, and then at a certain point
he became aware of himself standing in his underwear looking
out the window, full body length window. And we're only
on like the second floor, so we're like very very
close to these people's like, oh shit, they pulled the curd.

Speaker 4 (15:06):
We pay money to be in this position to be
able to see what we've seen.

Speaker 3 (15:09):
Yeah, he was like the opening scene from A Succession
with guys up against the glass and smears smears himself
on the glass.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
So what's the plan from here?

Speaker 1 (15:19):
We've got today as we're recording this, we don't have
anything planned.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
We've got a free day.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
The recovery day after that quite traumatic twenty six hours.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, and we've decided to start our day off by
getting straight back into the beers.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
Well, look at seven o'clock in New Zealand at the
moment at night is so my by body is asking
for a beer and who am I to deny it?

Speaker 1 (15:43):
So I think we're going to go into town, have
a bit of an explore, maybe catch a train somewhere.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
We haven't really got a plan.

Speaker 4 (15:50):
Well, what we'd like to do is go to a
beautiful Dutch village with a windmill. That's what I want
to do. I've never been to a Dutch village with
a windmill.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
Put some fingers and some dikes. Yeah, okay, yeah, that'd
be good. Yeah yeah, And.

Speaker 4 (16:01):
I mean there must be lots of villages like that
around the place. How hard is it. There's so many trains.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah, that's right, they're so well connected.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
And then the day after that, obviously you said before,
we've got the Heineken tour.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
Yes, we're all blacks at seven thirty, and then the
Heineken we're getting a VIP tour of the heinekenfactory. And
then the Heineke confactory are putting on a canal boat
to bring us back with a full bar on it
in the afternoon.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
How good are the canal boats because you lie down
on these shays lounges and then the drinks get brought
to you and you just have the trees over the
top of you.

Speaker 3 (16:30):
And there's no issues weatherwise on a canal boat because
you don't. You don't get hit by waves. There's no swell,
there's no no one's going over the side unless you're
massively wasted, which but must happen. Not great swimming, no,
not great swimen in the canals. But then after that,
I think we fly out very early the next day
because of course we hear for the bier fists, so

(16:51):
very early that next day we fly straight to Munich.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
Worryingly early.

Speaker 4 (16:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
I believe our flight's at like agent or nine in
the morning, which means, you know, we need to be
out there at about seven or eight, which means we
need to be up at about sex and I just
can't see that happening.

Speaker 4 (17:02):
Well, it's eight o'clock in New Zealand time in the night,
so I think seven forty five, so we'll still be
on New Zealand time at that stage.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
What's that in Germany?

Speaker 4 (17:10):
Though? Now no same time as the same time. Hey,
I got a question for you. I was thinking yesterday
when I was looking at the canal. So obviously there
was a benefit to having canals back in the day
instead of roads, because you could get goods and freighting.
How was the freight like, were they sailing down the
canals or were they rowing down the canals.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
Just big old barges I suppose, but I suppose they
had tow them on something.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
But what about the Okay, there's barges, that's one thing,
But then what about if you were in an individual
kind of a boat, were you honest? Were you sailing
down there? Because I mean there might there's no wind
around here.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
And you're probably not rowing it because you wouldn't get
two rowboats each other.

Speaker 4 (17:48):
In the sixteen hundreds, for example, what were they doing?

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Well, they there was a current. Yeah, they'll be flowing
in one direction.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
And then they get to a lock and they get
to a lock and they drop it down so it flows.

Speaker 4 (17:57):
Oh, you reckon all through the canals there's you can
you only go one way with the current. Wow, I
don't look like there's any current.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
Now you've got a motus, you could go anywhere you
want to suppose, But back in the day, I'd imagine
it'd be mostly current.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
The other thing is, I don't current.

Speaker 4 (18:10):
There's a current, and those like.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
The canals in England, there's currents. There's a current in
the canals in England. They're not lakes, you know, they're
more rivers.

Speaker 4 (18:18):
I would have thought it's just kind of flat with nothing.
But maybe there is a current. I didn't think of it.

Speaker 2 (18:22):
I'll find out today on a river there to be
a current.

Speaker 4 (18:25):
Canals are current, yeah, and the way that the canals
are kind of all connected up, I don't know it'll
be gentle.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
I do know that in certain parts they were sort
of horse drawn or bullock drawn. They'll just go along
the bank of your canal there and drag them.

Speaker 4 (18:38):
That would make sense.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
And in some places underneath the bridge you can see
from years of wear from the ropes where they go,
like around a corner, it'll just drill a hole straight
through the.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Bridge just from the ropes there. But I don't know
if that's answered your question.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
No, no has maybe.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
Ropes, ropes and current all combining together. I don't think
it's sales because you had to tack up when it.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
Would make you takes you forever.

Speaker 4 (19:02):
It's like, can you come over and visit me for
a To be honest, the wind's going the wrong direction
and they can't you bothered tacking into it. So let's
wait for a couple of days until the wind, and
then you've got a wind following a following sea the.

Speaker 2 (19:12):
Next day with a favorable window.

Speaker 4 (19:14):
Finisher up and go and see you.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
So once we get to Germany, we've got another day
just to fizz around there. Have a look around Munich.
Buy some leaderhersion, buy some Leader hoses, which you actually
wore on the flight over.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
Oh my god, a terrible mistake. Terrible mustake. And breeze,
Oh my god. Yeah, and you know, I get swamp
pass and long haul balls like more than seven hours,
it's not even long haul, and I start to really
swamp up with those Leader hoos on. It was this
next level seals in the flavor and it's just thick leather.
So admittedly a fair way into that flight, I did

(19:48):
take them off because they were really.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
Saying to dig in as well.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
It was funny when we got to the airport and
people were asking you about the Leader hose and you said, oh,
we're actually we're off to october Fest, and I'm just
so excited about it. And they're like, oh great, so
we're are you flying And You're like, we're going to
do buy and then we're actually going to Answerdam for
three days. And they're like, wait, so you're gonna have
the leader hos it on for a week, and.

Speaker 4 (20:07):
I'll tell you what, leader Housing, do not translate and
do bai No, that does not breathe that leather. I
mean the other part for you with that beef strogging
off and the other beef cheek is that the leader
housing hold on to gas, so it just ends up
all the all of the fibers in the in the leather,
just hold onto your gas. So you're walking around smelling
like a dead farting animal.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
I think we should take a break in the second.
But just before we do, I've just caught my eye
on the mister Sam, the blazing mister Sam's it a
fragrance you picked up in Dubai?

Speaker 4 (20:37):
Yes, I got. I got conned into buying a couple
of fragrances actually by one of the best salespeople I've
ever met in my life. This guy really newer stuff,
and I've ended up with the blazing mister Sam and
a Gucci something about autumn flowers or something good. You
never I don't even know if I like them.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
The bottles great though, it's got like a it's got
like a six panther on top of it.

Speaker 4 (20:57):
Yeah, was that a ball? But each one was quite different.
But yeah, that one's I mean, I like the bottle.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
You got back onto the plane in Dubai covered from
head to toe and about a million different fragmances.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
You know, that guy who was the salesperson was spraying
it all over me and then he went wrist, right hand, wrist,
left hand, forearm, left forearm, right under the forearm, left
under the forearm, right. Then I presented my left butt cheek.
He sprayed my left butt cheek, right butt cheek, and
then onto the balls. Yeah, was the final place that
I was smelling it from. And I can tell you

(21:31):
but mister Sam smells quite different on a long haul ball.
It really really adds to the aroma. It's a completely
different smell. He said. He never smelled anything like it.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
I never smelled anything like it.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
You were saying, the only part of you that hadn't
been sprayed was the tippy a penis.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
Yeah, I could have dabbed it down like Joe.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
And I won't be falling for that trick again. All right,
let's take a quick break. We'll come back and talk
maybe about some sport the black Caps are playing at
the moment. What's the time difference, and because it started
at four o'clock in New Zealand time, which is sort
of seven eight pm no am our time. But what's
that in Sri Lanka. It'll be a different time altogether,
wouldn't it.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
Yeah, eleven am is this that time which I've lost track?

Speaker 2 (22:14):
Butt?

Speaker 1 (22:14):
And then don't forget they're also taking a day off
on Saturday so that they can.

Speaker 3 (22:17):
Vote yes so to oh yeah that tomorrow they're gonna
have ptay off. I mean, the game is still going. Unfortunately,
Zealand bowled out for three hundred and forty. They had
Sri Lanka almost by the short and curleys when we're
about we were to eighty for five, but he's going
to collapse at the end there, and only got a
lead of thirty five, which has been wiped off. Now

(22:37):
Sri Lanka is seventy eight for one, so that lead
is gone. What gives me, what gives my long haul
balls a little bit of pain, is the fact that
we're going to have to bat last on a pitch
and they've got five spinners.

Speaker 4 (22:49):
Yeah, and they know how to bowl on those pitchures too.
And I think that's been the problem so far, is
that our spinners because you just don't get to bowl
on pictures like that. You don't know how to you
don't know how to build pressure, and I reckon when
spinners start taking wickets, you get a bit of a
roll on. And if you're a new batsman and you're
coming in to spin on a turning wicket, it's almost
the hardest thing to do because how do you score runs?

(23:12):
Like you know, you're actually trying not to get out
first of all, but then you've got to find scoring
options and if they're accurate and they just keep bowling
in the same place, you've got to take risks to score.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Your frustration builds.

Speaker 3 (23:21):
Is that webbling spinner's got all their wickets? Silver got two,
Mendy's got three and jays Area got four.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
Did I see a rook when? All right?

Speaker 3 (23:28):
Yeah he got a five fer? So big willow Rook punishing,
good looking? Well, I rock another five wicket bag for him.
He's having a fucking great start to his Test career.

Speaker 4 (23:39):
Yeah, he really is. He's I think he's a big
unit And when I watch him bowl, if you're if
you're facing a guy like that, it's weird because when
you're watching on TV, you don't really think about it
this way, but if you're actually facing a guy who's
a big, broad shouldered unit who runs at you quite hard,
it's quite intimidating. Yeah, and he's he runs in hard
and he comes and he really tries to hit the

(23:59):
wicket and it actually has a big effect on you.
Is even as an international batsman that I reckon he
was a heavy ball.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
The fact that he's our biggest strike weapon in Sri
Lanka is a little bit concerning. He's got the only
wicket in the second innings as well, when all the
wickets were taken by the Sri Lankan spinners, and we're
relying on the punishing a raw to come thundering in
and take his wickets with which has to be wicket
taking deliveries on a pitch like that, it's not seeming
around a great deal.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
I think we asked Kyle Mills this, but do you
think we'd ever be able to produce some good spinners
here in New Zealand?

Speaker 4 (24:34):
Is it?

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Because we were saying it's the pictures, right, they are
too green, But he was also saying that the fields
themselves are too small, and so if you're a spinner.
You won't be afforded the you know, the leeway to
get tonked a little bit.

Speaker 4 (24:47):
It's the perfect storm if you're a spinner in New Zealand.
Not only do the pictures not turn, yeah, they don't deteriorate,
although last summer they did well. Bouncers right, yeah, so
you do get one pictures that bound. You know, spinners
love bounce, but but it doesn't break up. So you
never get to bowl on those particular conditions. And it's different.

(25:09):
I reckon bowling spin in that situation is different. So
it's a perfect storm of the pitchers aren't right. The
fields are small, so growing up in New Zealand there's
no I mean, bowling spin in New Zealand's tough, yeah,
because he get you get tonked and so you give up.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
And then your coach says, hey, just knocked that shit
on the head, military medium, what are you doing?

Speaker 4 (25:27):
Try to swing the ball.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
He's Gavin Larsen, Willie Watson, a huge successes. Just just
do what they did.

Speaker 4 (25:33):
Yeah, I mean, it's no surprise and it gets sorry, no,
it's no surprise that we were you know, apart from
Dan Vittry, we've never produced a world class spinner.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
No, no, and even then he wasn't a prolific turner
of the ball. He was just deadly accurate.

Speaker 3 (25:48):
Yes, as armball was is probably one of his biggest weapons,
which is the one that doesn't turn.

Speaker 4 (25:52):
But he also amazing at predicting what batsmen we're going
to do. Knew the psychology of what was going on
and then could just workout of batsman so quickly with
different variations of pace and flight and all that sort
of stuff, which is clever.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
And in the second inning, sorry that just to go
back to the actual sport of the game. Interesting, Tim
Southy came on his third change in the bowling. So
will I Rourke opened the bowling with AJ's battel first change,
Mitchell Satner, second change, Tim Southy.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
And this is this is the problem, because now all
of a sudden you've got Ages starting hasn't played for
the Black Caps, and Ages and Ages, and then all
of a sudden you're asking him to open. You know,
this is the this is the hard part. The other
thing is growing up in New Zealand, you if you've
got a funky delivery, that'll get coached out of you
straight away. Whereas in the India and Sri Lanka and stuff.

(26:42):
They'll find malinga bowling round arm or some frog and
a blender dude out of Bangalore.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
Coming in from the frog and the original prog and
the blend.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
Bowling of his face to the skies and he's already
appealing for the umpire his hand.

Speaker 4 (26:56):
You get a guy, you know, speaking of wed actions,
You give a guy like Boomra who stutters his way
in and then just off about six paces and then
just whips it down last second. Yeah, you get You
get some good freaks going on.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Bomber could bowl that delivery and Twilight Crocket in any
ground because he comes off the six paces, yeah, and
generates about one hundred and fifty clocks off it and
the bounce and does he bowl off the wrong foot
or is that an optical illusion?

Speaker 4 (27:20):
I think it goes off the right foot. But his
arm almost comes over the back of his head, and
so his point of delivery is so high. And then
he's got this wrist action that's super loose.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
He looks like he's going to hyper extend his knee
and his delivery stride.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
Yeah, he does. He slams that front foot down.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
Yeah. So how do how do we think this one's
going to shape out their lane?

Speaker 3 (27:39):
It's going to be, well, we've got tomorrow's the rest day.
I hope that they do what they did in the
back in the day on rest days, which was just
get absolutely leathered with the opposition and then spin Saturday
had just hung over, and then get back to their
work day later.

Speaker 4 (27:52):
So the reason that they're doing a wrist days because
they've got a vote there.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
Is a security issue. Okay, yeah, it's not around people
not wanting to vote. It's about the fact that they can't.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
It's not just so that Kuzel Mendez can get to
the polls.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
No, it's a it's a security thing that they do
that in India quite a lot. They basically they plan
sports events around their elections because they can't guarantee the
safety of the of the stadium or the players because
all the resources go towards the election. So that's going
to be interesting. So day off, and I looks like
New Zealand might need that day off at the moment
because s Jamaica going along nicely eighty four for one,

(28:27):
so they lead by a forty nine now so that
they watch that creep up over two hundred anything, yeah,
and so one hundred and fifty away and the New
Zealand might be a ted of bother on day five.

Speaker 4 (28:39):
I reckon chasing anything more than two hundred will be
an insane challenge.

Speaker 1 (28:43):
The other issue is, as you said, they've got the
day off, it's in the New Zealand psyche to just
go helpful leather on that day off. I don't know
that that's a Sri Lankan you know, tradition. But when
we see a day off in the middle of something,
we're doing it right now.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
Exactly thing. It's like the night before any public holiday.
It's just at like it's just for some reason we
lose our minds.

Speaker 4 (29:05):
Their own goal specialists, absolutely absolute own goal special.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
One hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
As we sit here cracking a beer in the morning,
although again as you say, at o'clock at night now
in our body clock, we are here in Amsterdam to
catch a vibe for the for the bledder Slade, the
first match, and as you said at the top of
the podcast, Jerry, the vibe is out there. It's think
it's heavy. People are talking about it. How do we
feel this game is going to go? Because I've seen
a lot of headlines this week and it felt like

(29:32):
they were trying to con you into thinking this is
going to be a tighter contest than I think it
actually will be. I think they'll get blown out the Wallabies.

Speaker 4 (29:39):
I think so because they've been really really ordinary in
the Rugby Championship so far. I mean they've been awful.
That game where they just completely blew out of our
second half, that was one of the worst halves of
rugby from in the international side in the history of rugby,
right up against Argentina against Argentina. So they are finding
insane ways to lose matches. But we can't finish the

(30:01):
end of a match, particularly well against the World champions
and a team a really really good finishing team. But
I would imagine that we'd wipe the floor of them.
But you never know, a.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
Lot of pressure.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
Yeah, there's pressure out to wipe them, not just win, Yeah,
wipe them out. So it's such a well, that's the
thing that, Yeah, it's such a new Zealand mentality. It's like,
don't we don't just need to beat Australiers, we need
to humiliate them well, because.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
If we win by three that all of the articles
will be like, wow, unconvincing, unconvincing.

Speaker 3 (30:28):
Yeah, No one's talking about the unconvincing World Cup when
that's there. If you got last year by wagging one twin.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
Yeah, but surely it's better for looking forward for the
next four years. It's better to be in this situation now. Yes,
this is a good sign, isn't it. Like in the past,
we've always hammered all sides for not doing well, and
then the sides that have done really, really well in
the interim years have never won World Cups.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
And we talked about this is that if you're going
to lose ten in a row, this, here's a year
to do it.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
This is when to do it.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
But I would also say that despite that, Razor does
obviously feel a bit of pressure to win every single game.
He is the coach of the All Blacks. No one
wants to have a bad record as the coach of
the All Blacks. So he's still pecking guys like Sam Kaine,
despite the fact he knows he won't have him for
the World Cup. Because you'd sort of look at it
and go, all right, we've got four years till then,
why don't we just start blooding a few new players.

(31:15):
But then the other side of the ledger is this
is an all black jersey. You can't just give these
away lightly because really outside of Setiti, who's he brought
in that?

Speaker 2 (31:24):
You know, Sam Deary, oh quite well, Tyree.

Speaker 4 (31:29):
Lomas isn't brought in, but he's played. I thought he's
played particularly well. I thought our Type five has been
pretty good and tremendous. Yeah, I reckon they've been good.
Front row has been really good.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
Scrummage scrumming has been great.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
Lineouts off hot and cold, yeah, yeah, yeah, Actually the
problem has just been we've played pretty well in patches.

Speaker 4 (31:46):
We played well against every guy. I thought both those
tests we actually played better than them, but we just
didn't get the result. We haven't been getting the result.
We used to know how to win ugly, yeah, and
now South Africa know how to win ugly.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
And that's actually yeah. That was actually the hallmark of
the Crusaders for the last few years with Razer at
the Helm, was like they looked at the rules set
and said, right, these are what the rules are. This
is how we're going to play rugby. Whereas I feel
like for Ages New Zealand's been like, oh, we have
this idea of how rugby should be played, and we're
going to play it like that, but it doesn't seem
to have translated to the All blacks.

Speaker 4 (32:16):
Nowser and I've got a theorist while boring our theory,
but I reckon when you look to try and speed
pay test rugby at pace, you can't. If you do,
you have to make zero mistakes. So every single time
you cannot drop a ball, you can't. You've got to
throw the ball into the lineout. You can't get any
lineouts wrong. You can't get anything wrong if you genuinely

(32:37):
want to play the ball at pace, because as soon
as you make a mistake, so you knock a ball on,
they will just slow the game down completely. And then
you get frustrated, and then you think we are trying
to do this and we're not doing We're not achieving
what we want, and that psychologically has a huge effect
on the team. So much easier to slow test rugby
down than it is to speed it up, and we've
been trying to speed up. I'm not sure you can
play like that anymore.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
Because we took it upon ourselves, though I felt like
took it upon themselves to remarket the game as a
free flowing champagne rugby.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
Yeah, it was like retaliation for the Johnny Wilkinson area.

Speaker 3 (33:09):
Yeah, and drop goals and man rugby. We're like, no, no,
this is how you play it. We do a lot
of that.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
We also do it in other aspects of New Zealand
thing where we want to be the best in the
world at like green things as well. We want to
be the best at Greenhouse. Guess mission. Yes, I had
no effect on the world, but we want to be
the leader in the world and that sort of stuff.
We want to be the front of the class with
our hands up, teacher's pitt. That's our vibe.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
But I do think we're going to hunt them this week,
and I think that's exactly what the all decks need.
Get them back on track, get that winning feeling back
into the changing rooms, and yeah, I think we're going
to hunt them. So let's say quick break when we
come back. We have been through a lot of edmund
to try and put a punt on this morning.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
We'll walk you through. So we are here in Amsterdam.
What's the name of the hotel? Now? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (33:51):
The hotel now, yeah, I believe it is h now
or something in how in how in how anyway, we
are on Amsterdam, and for those of you degenerates out
there that have been abroad recently, you will know that
most gambling apps are geo blocked, so you can't bit
you know, from abroad. So we've been through about an
hour's worth of Edmund this morning to try and get

(34:12):
into the tab account because at the time we're recording this,
it's actually a Friday night in New Zealand, so you've
run back home. We're ringing to try and get these
bits placed on for us and we're not capable at
the pub blacked out drunk somewhere.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
They're on a bus, gone home.

Speaker 3 (34:27):
But I think eventually we managed to yeah track down
Mash Mash Yeah. Well ironically it was the only sober
when we got hold of so I'm sure what's going
on there wrong.

Speaker 4 (34:35):
I don't know, is he sick, something's from there?

Speaker 3 (34:38):
Anyway, I got hold of Ham, so we've placed our hunch.
And because we didn't have the app, I couldn't see
the odds, so I just went for my hunch, as will.
Jordan'll score a try at least anytime try scorer all
Blacks are win by thirteen plus and all Blacks were
winning out halftime, so I just multied that together and
then he's placed the bit and sent it to me going,

(34:59):
this is this is soft from you.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
Two because it's only paying two eighty six six.

Speaker 3 (35:04):
Yeah, and I didn't know the odds, so yeah, apologies,
but that is my dad.

Speaker 4 (35:09):
That's a good to eighty six real it is. Yeah,
you got to.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
Say no, and this is a good This is how
I like to place my punts. As well as you
think about what you think is actually gonna happen, yeah,
then put it into the app because now on the
new tab app you can put you can compile anything
that you can think of. You can make a bed
out of that, and then you have a look and
see if the numbers correlate to where you had it
in your head. You know, punting on the blind is
actually a good way to get a good vibe check

(35:33):
on how you think it's actually gonna go, because sometimes
you can get luid into like, oh shit, that's been
eight dollars fifty.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
Totally do that as well, yeah, because it's not going
to happen.

Speaker 3 (35:44):
And actually Manas has come back with actually a good
little multi that's already severe. Anytime tryscorer Caleb Clark first,
second or third try scorer and overs forty six and
a half and that's paying total points. Yeah, and that's
paying fourteen bucks.

Speaker 4 (36:00):
That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
Because as his.

Speaker 3 (36:03):
Theory on that is Artie will play eighty minutes, Caleb
Clark will place at least sixty minutes, so he's in
the conversation for first, second, or third.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
Yeah, pay us paint fourteen.

Speaker 4 (36:12):
So I like that. I like that good work from Mesh.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Generally, if there's a blowout, it's just try score of bingo.
You take the overs if it's going to be a blowout,
and then you just have a stab at three two
or three try scorers.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
So what was the overs forty six total points over
forty six and a half time?

Speaker 4 (36:27):
Twenty three? Oh my god, I mean I don't need
to be twenty three? All Yeah, that's that's good. Bet.

Speaker 2 (36:32):
We might do that by us bet that's a great bet.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
Yeah, So can we do it?

Speaker 2 (36:35):
Or we've done it?

Speaker 4 (36:37):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (36:37):
I have done it? Yeah, I did it. To the admin.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
Getting that bet on was actually longer than this podcast was.
But anyway, the sun is beaming here in Amsterdam. We're
going to venture out and see if we can find
ourselves a bit of mischief. We'll be back at some
point in the next few days.

Speaker 3 (36:52):
I think we're going to do the first ever a
gender podcast alive from the Heide Confectory.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Power from that because I've got a rooftop bar yet
they've got. It's like, yeah, it's amazing.

Speaker 4 (37:01):
Yeah. My feeling is a lot is going to happen
from when this podcast finishes to when we do the
next one.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
It would be quite a trip to listen to them
back to back.

Speaker 4 (37:08):
Can imagine twelve hours.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
All right, let's go and make it happen. We will
see you guys tomorrow for another episode of the Gender Podcast.

Speaker 4 (37:14):
You've been listening to the ACC's Agender Podcast, brought to
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