August 7, 2024 • 45 mins
Welcome to The Montoyas, your new favourite podcast. This week Tayla and Marcelo have some big, life changing, news. Tayla gets a surprise visit from her parents and get serious about what they've been through in the last year.
Follow the behind the scenes funny on TikTok and Instagram: @themontoyaspodcast
Join in as The Montoya’s lift the curtain on the life and relationship of Aussie imports assimilating into New Zealand as a newly married couple. Think Keeping Up with the Kardashians crossed with Modern Family and tune in for the podcast you never knew you needed.
About The Hosts:
Tayla Montoya is an ex-cheerleader, and current radio producer for Jono and Ben on The Hits. Her roots are from a large Italian Australian family, with all the passion and fire that comes with that.
Most importantly, she is like that friend at the BBQ that is constantly surprising the group with a new questionable take, internet-based obsession or just something to annoy her husband.
Marcelo Montoya is a Fijian Australian professional rugby league player and brings insight into what it actually means to be a professional sportsman. He is a little bit bogan, and a whole lot of a perfectionist. He strives for everything in his life to be cantered and deliberate so he can perform at the highest level, while contending with his wife’s need to try and throw him off balance.
This is an iHeartRadio NZ Podcast.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is an iHeart Radio New Zealand podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I think now it's a good time to bring up
the elephant in the room.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
My mom just screamed, screamed.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
It was like not even a scream, actually was a
how she was like.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
We beat Newcastle? Yes, yes, I was up on the
launch pad.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
So is this pelvist injury even a real thing or
is it's just avoid touching me?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
How's your week been? It's been good. I've bet on
the men. Yeah, I'm recovering from a grown injury. Yes. Uh,
and it's yeah, it's been up and down yeah, in
ums of recovering, but it's fine. I mean I'm getting
there every day, mate, every day. You're a soldier. Yes,
and shout out to my boy Chance for getting me
(00:54):
through some tough days.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Oh that's nice. Yes, so that's nice. Is there anything
I could be doing more? I'm missing the mark on.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
We'll talk about that a bit later. Oh okay, cool, Okay,
I saw content. Don't you worry well?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Speaking of speaking of injuries and you know, things that
are affecting the body, I think now it's a good
time to bring up the elephant in the room.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Louis.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
You could say me, I've fucking gained a few I'm
not gonna lie, but there's a good reason for it.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
What's going on? We pregnant, yes, sir.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Yeah, so twenty weeks officially, which is when do you
think about it?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
That's a huge amount of time.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
That's that four, eight, twelve, sixteen, twenty five months? Is
it five months? I've only got four left? Can you
believe that in four months you're going to be a dad?
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I want to be a zaddie. I wouldn't go that far.
Am I a milk fucking Why think? At the minute?
At the minute died? Hey at the middle we're growing.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So is this pelvic pelvis injury even a real thing?
Or is it just avoid touching me?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Taylor? I've got to go through two rounds of scans.
We know the damage I've done, you know, you know it,
That's what happened, that's the damage. Do you know when
we conceived? Do you actually know when we conceived? We
beat Newcastle here? Yes? Yes, I was up on the
(02:31):
launch pad and came home and said, hang on.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, and can I actually tell this? I'm sure she'll
be fine with me saying I want you I want
to because this is funny when you scored that try.
Laura mcgolch, I'm one of my best bats, text me
saying you better let him get it tonight. Laura, Hey,
I said, you know what for once I might you
(02:58):
know what, Laura, Laura has.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Has spoken this in she spoke sister, She's blessed us.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yes, yeah, so yeah, very exciting.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I'm so stoked. I can't wait to be a barber
copay to watch you be your dad. I think you're
going to kill it. I hope so.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
But I just want to take you through the story
of how I found out because you went in the
country to me. As trend prevails in this podcast, you're
never around.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Look around, hang on before you go on with your story.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
No, I'm grateful you're not around. You do my heating,
so I'm really grateful for your job. Yeah, we do,
I mean absolutely do. Like we've said many times, this
one hour a week is so beneficial. Anything more fucking suicide.
So you were away and my parents surprised me. I
obviously told them when I took the pregnancy test that
(03:52):
I'm going to go for my skin MUSSELO is not
going to be here, so I'll be fine.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Don't worry about it. I've got my dog here where
a sabrockey. We're good to go. And I was watching
a game.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Oh god, I was watching one of your games and
someone knocks on the door and surprised it's Mom and
Dad flown all the way from Sydney to Auckland. So
that was exciting to come for my first skin, which
was really early.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
It was a six week mark. So we went all
as a family to.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
The first skin, yeah, Ascott Hospital and just moum came
in the room because I think Dad was like, oh,
that's a bit too close for home, and hey, I
get it, especially because so early on they have to
go internally.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
So me.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Mum go in the room and it's it's actually such
a nerve wracking process if anyone's been through it, especially
that early on.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
It is terrifying because you don't know what you're going
to see.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Uh, you find out a lot, hopefully all good news.
And so we go into the room and the lady
does the skin over the stomach and she goes, oh,
there's your heartbeat, you're officially pregnant. There's the baby, and
wet like my mom tearing up as a really nice moment,
and then she goes, but I just need to confirm something,
so if you can go empty your bladder, come back
(05:08):
in and we're gonna go internal.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
And I was like, okay, cool, you off a bit.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Yeah, dude, it's very scary here in those words, because
it's like, but I've seen the heartbeat, so like, can
we just end it here, because like I don't want
to don't look for anything else, like I'm so grateful.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
So I did that.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I come back, she sticks the machine internally. She goes, okay,
so I just want to point out again there's your baby,
and there's the heartbeat.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
And when me and mum look at each other like
now amazing, and then she guys, stops, sorry, you know me,
this is this is me.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
And then she goes, but I just want to bring
your attention to something else, and I'm like, oh god,
here we fucking go what And she goes, so first baby,
one baby, one heartbeat. I'm just gonna move over here
and you'll see there's actually a second baby with a
second heartbeat.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
You're having twins. And my mom just screamed, screamed.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
It was like not even a scream, ACTU she was
a how she was like noise like that, and I
don't care about him anymore.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
He's out. The fucking twins are in.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
And she just bursted into tears and I was like, okay, bitch,
still my moment, like make about you.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
And I'm like, oh my god, are you sure?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
And she's like, yes, you're there's two heartbeats, there's two babies.
They're identical twins because they're sharing the placenta. I was like,
holy fuck. So then she goes all.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Right, well you're good to go.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
I was like, can I get a fucking handbook I
want to do next?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Like what the hell? So that's huge.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
So we walk out of the room and my dad
sees my mom first come out crying and he goes,
oh my god, like, is everything okay? What's wrong? And
I said, oh, we're having twins, dad, And he goes, oh,
you're such a bullshit artist.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You're full of shit. It could never take anything seriously.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
What's wrong with you? Sue to my mom and I go, Dad,
I'm having twins. Listen to me.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
And I honestly like cross my heart. Took him ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It wasn't until we were on the way home that
he goes, so is this actually happening?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And I was like, yes, yes, what is big news
to take, especially when there's no twins on your side
of the family.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I know, yes, there's no twins on your side of
the family, but there is on yours. Right.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah? Yeah, how far back? So my mom's my mom's
two brothers have identical Well I wonder if that's where
it came from. There we have to my and then
my my mom's first cousin, my auntie, my aunts nine level,
she has twin girls. Wow, well what else a girl identical?
(07:44):
So there you go.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
See me your girl, dad, I think you'll fucking kill
it and they're going to be a deal.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
See how that I didn't even have to think about it.
I just gave you that certain gratification.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Well that's what I'm saying, but you never.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Gave that to me, and I'm still hurt about that. So, yeah,
it's very exciting news. I'm stoked. You're clearly stoked. Do
you remember what I told you I didn't believe you. Yeah,
I facetimed you because you were in Sydney.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, no, so we obviously found out ages ago. Yeah,
first time, four months, five months ago. First time I
had a feeling though. We had visitors over. We had
Georgia and Nathan were over with Riley, Yeah, visiting, and
we went over to we went to Wahiki for the
day and we had and it was a beautiful day.
I had a few reds and then you started feeling
sick and I polished off a whole packet of shape
(08:33):
and then I've gone, yeah, but that was the next day. Yeah,
but you but you were feeling sick when we're at Wahiki. Anyway,
you went to work the next day and you come
home and go mass. I had a full packet of
shapes that work. Yeah, and I've gone, hang on, that's
out of your character.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Well, yeah, it's rare for me because again I worked
morning hours. I really feel like shapes at six am,
six am, mate, Can I just tell you it's been
five long months of an inch shapes at six ams?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
And then I've gone hang on. I don't want to
say to you because Nathan, obviously, Nathan and George and
Riley were here. Yeah, so I waited for them. They
flew out on the Wednesday, was it, yeah or Tuesday? Tuesday?
Minor details don't matter. They flew out anyway A day
before I did, before I had to go over to
Sydney for a game. Yeah, And before I left, I said,
(09:20):
you're pregnant and you said no, I'm not. Yeah. I
stopped and I said, no, you are. You should do
a test. Yeah, And then you didn't listen to me.
Go by him, excuse me, and then I went flew off.
I landed in Sydney, and then you got your your
stupid message, Marce I need to call you. Something's happened.
(09:41):
I know what You're in my head. You're pregnant, all right,
don't try surprise me. Surprised me that stuff either. People do.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I said to my head, should I wait the two
weeks he's away, un tell you when it gets home.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
And I was like, how am I going to keep that?
People do that? That's half the reason why I haven't
got social media for that kind. I know it's cute.
I want to announce him up happy that shut up,
shut up, you're pregnant.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Take this pregnancy announcement with your social media hatred.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
It's fine. I'm just saying. I'm just saying, all right.
And then you said, mass I'm pregnant. I said, oh,
cut to the chase, cut the bullshit out. You told me.
I was pumped. I was in the team bus. I
couldn't even shame my relation. I'm sitting in the bus
and all the boys around. I can't I pumped. And
then the week after I faced I need to tell
you you were having twins.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Two weeks after, two weeks after, and that was another
face time and another I think I caught you at
a really bad time to you.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Guys were in a team meeting. Yeah, we lost, we
lost the Newcastle. Yeah. And then it was the next day,
the Monday was a Monday, and we had team meetings. Yeah,
all day, all day, Yeah, obviously doing a review and stuff.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
And you you are you trying to call me? I
missed the call you My mom found out before me. Yeah,
because I had to tell someone. Yeah, which is cool.
I'm glad you called. I remember when I told you
a mom, I said, do you don't tell us all?
He doesn't know yet.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I was like, but we're having tweets and she was
so she cried straight away and she was like, when.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Are you going to tell him?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
He's got a busy day. And then I called you back,
and then it was still like, imagine being at work
in that environment. Then I couldn't have to run away.
And then yeah, boys looking.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
At him like such a hard piece of information to
process too in the middle of your day.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
It was the best phone call. But then your mum again,
Yes she called me, statched the phone off me, but
you're driving. She's sitting the passenger seat on the phone. Yeah,
have time, and I'm looking at her and I can
see she's like emotional, emotional yeah, And then she goes,
do you have some time? And so she just told me.
(11:54):
Now you're going another meeting in five minutes. And she goes, all,
wait for ye told me. Now you've actually screamed. Then
she goes, she.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
We just lost.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
You should have won. We just lost. So I'm dealing
with that. You've told me we've got twins. I've gone,
hang on, I've gone, I want to take a carry.
Now I want to run again. And then I've got her.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And my dad in the backgroundstage stowers you bus. Thanks, yeah,
fucking thanks, Oh my god, honestly, and after holl experience,
I said, hey, guys, really meant a love that you
were here. Next time, stay home. I think I can
do this on my own exaucing. And then bless I
(12:45):
was so early, was six weeks And the next day
she takes me to baby bunting at Sylvie Park. This
is the twin prems you need, Taylor. She's test driving prayers.
Me and dad are sitting on those fucking rocking chairs.
I we've got time, babe, we have time.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I don't live in you see, Ta, We've got to
get stuff today. I said, sponsor. She could sponsor us,
long Susan Lombardy could sponsor us. She can't sponsor ship.
Pretty bought off a woodrobe. I know she did, bless her,
but so yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And then like another thing that I never really had
a thought about because we've never been in this situation before,
is when you when you work in a corporate job
and you find out you're pregnant and you wait three
months to make sure everything's okay, touch wood, and then
you have to tell that news to your bosses.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And I know you hearing that is like that's fine,
but it's a whole nother layer.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
When it's a serious environment and to your boss is
a male and like, how do you get pregnant? You
sleep with someone, so like, yeah, I'll explain how I
explained it to my boss.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
It's a weird situation to me. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I just felt super awkward. I'm not so if I'm
alone in that situation. Did you feel awkward when you're
told No?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
When I told my I told Webby, yeah he had
an idea, did he? Yes, but he hadn't seen me
in a while. Yeah, but we left the after match
function early one time because you're feeling sick. Okay, yes,
and that's yeah, I must have been there. Yeah. And
then he goes, oh, and then the next thing takes
(14:27):
I think Webby's got I think Webby's got like a
psych Yeah, not psychic, but he's intuition. Yeah, I see
that he's got that. Very smart. And I've told him
and he goes, I think I know what we're going
to tell me. Oh really, that's see, And I said, well,
I don't really, yeah, I want to wait. But then
I told him and he goes, mate, like it was unreal.
(14:50):
It was different when you tell a male. We joke
about it. I joke about it. It's gone straight away,
hug me. Unreal.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Use you know, especially for you mate, you got twins
in there, great, great track.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
That's called him off track. I said, yeah, but that's
not even the surprise. Yeah, I said, we twings and
he goes, Holy, he goes no way, I'm telling you,
and he goes, no way. Promise my mine can swim? Well,
my my can't.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
They naked crack your egg open apparently, because that's I
went in there.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
It's like the word carry the book. They just go
in there, no fear.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah, yeah, and I don't think my egg was prepared
for that AnyWho, we won't going to the biology side
of things. Well, how I told my bosses was a
lot different, because you know, I love to I love
to drag things on, like I'm doing this podcast. I
love to.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Live in me and you.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I cut to the chase. Yes, I hate the nail
on the head straight away, we get over they mine.
It's like the band aids there and I just tap
away inch by inch, you take it off, put it
back on.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, and then when its ripped off, no.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
I want to back off because there's more on a
new band aid. Please. So can I.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Just tell you this because I actually give myself credit
to how I did this story teller, especially when it's
a story I care about. So I called them all
into a meeting. My two bosses, one female, one's male,
great great guys, go a good relationship with both of them.
So I said, I'm gonna fucking nail this delivery here
straight away. When I walked into the room, they said,
you're leaving, aren't you, which is a normal response in
(16:34):
a corporate world, because as soon as you're the employee
calling the meeting with the employer, you've got fucking mic
job news.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, they could think what's going on literally.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Literally blackmail them like, you know, but you don't know,
like I would never I've got nothing on them that.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I don't know it or something. Oh yeah, I don't know.
I think deep.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
And so I sat in the room and they're like,
please tell us you're not leaving. And I was like, well,
it's not not that.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
They're like wow.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
That's when their fucking eyes palm of my hands, man,
I said, boom, Okay, I've got them where I want
them again, I said, well, I've had an offer for
another position.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Eyes are widening, said, and it's.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Come from It's come from internal. I like that, yes,
because they think internal from the company.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
What's that what's it called in English? Alliteration is a
similar metaphor. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
I don't know what any of those means, but yeah,
but it's like a play on words.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
So I was like, it's come from internal and they're thinking,
oh my god, what station has offered her something? And
I but I meant internal from the body, and I
was like, it's an offer I can't refuse. It's like
an offer I've actually wanted for quite some time now.
And it's like it wasn't a surprise to me, you know,
(18:00):
because I had been joined for a while.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
You should have just went and they're offering me about
five hundred. So I don't think my leave's I got
in his country, barks. I think you can get that
leave like that anyway, and then bumped me up at
so you need to come up show me the money.
And they're like, oh my god, who is it? Who
(18:23):
is it? Like what's happening?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
And I was like, yeah, so you know, it's too
it's too good to not to not refuse. Yeah, it's good,
too good to refuse. And yeah, they've internally offered me
a job to be a mom, And they were like,
oh my god, I was like, yes, nailed it, fucking
o earth got to be the best.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Way to announce the pregnancy to give you that's good. Yes.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
And then when I said, then they go and I said,
and that's not it. It's come from two voices because
I'm having twins. Bang twin, mom bye. And then they
were like, oh my god, how long do you want
maturningly for? I was like indefinitely, No, I said, let's
start not coming back. I was like, they were very
(19:11):
very gracious, very happy for us.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Oh, sorry, Louis, I'm suffocating you.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
I can take the pillowf now because I am pregnant, discusting. Sorry, mate,
get used to it. That stomach is going to grow.
So yeah, and that was stoked. And then that was it.
That was a bit of excitement for the week for everyone.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
That's I think the way you played it out was unreal. Yeah,
because I've got time in the mornings to think. But still,
I've just got no time for that. So and I'm
walking in the train whatever early in the morning, in
my head mask, prep prep prep. Yeah, yeah, something I'm
I'm telling him walking out. I don't want I don't
want some more talk. Cut to the chain. Yeah, you're
(19:55):
finging prep, prep, prep. I'm thinking get me out of you. No,
but I'm thinking make a moment entertained. Why the masses?
What don't we news? I love to share that with
people in the most dramatic way. But the thing about
that's the thing about your family. You know that story
(20:16):
about the boy that cried wolf. Yeah, no, no, it's not
even funny because if we keep, if we keep being
like this and having this, you know, because because we
crack jokes with them, yeah, you know, and some days
going to be a serious matter and they just want
to think of whatever whatever. So we've gotta we actually
got to tell them yeah. Or there has to be
(20:37):
a word.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah, like if we were to fall pregnant again and
it was twins again, it has to be a word
they would like, a safe word, a safe word that
that means. It's cherry. It's the first thing that comes
from out. But no, Kardashian's us.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
By yeah with them to the furthest from it too,
bybe you're not wrong. Something to think about it, some.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Thinking about it, Like let's go with cherry cherry, cherry
like cherry like swear because I had a cherry ripe today,
So that's why that's I love cherry Ripe, and really,
if I'm being chocolate this.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Bread, chocolate, Doritos shapes.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Feel free to reach out and sponsor of any of
the brands I've mentioned. No, please don't Subway Cookies.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
No, we don't need any of that in the house
at the minute I'm feeding three. How dare you there?
It is? You're so hurtful? Hey, guys, Taylor jumping in here.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Although this episode did start off with some great news
lots of happy moments, it is about to take a
bit of a deeper turn as we talk about topics
like infertility and miscarriage. This isn't for you completely understand
as skip ahead and enjoy the rest of the episode.
So obviously, this is such exciting, beautiful news that we're
(22:10):
so grateful for that we can't wait to start this
next journey.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
But wouldn't be wouldn't feel right to share such.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Happy news if we didn't like open up about a
little about what the past few months have looked like
for us and what we've went through, Because I, like
many women, can understand that hearing news like this.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Can also be quite triggering and like uncomfortable to hear.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
So yeah, a few months ago now, last last October,
I was pregnant, and again ecstatic. We were happy, we
were ready for it, weren't planning it, but we were
at the stage being married for a bit, being together
nine years.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
If it happens, happens.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
And so I was about nine weeks pregnant when I
went in for the first scan, because when you book
it in, they you want to go earlier just to
be reassured that you are pregnant.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
But when you're our age, there's no cause for concern.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
They just come in for a routine checkup, a scan, sorry,
and we'll go from there. So we went for the
first scan, which would have been the nine week mark,
and we're both so excited.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
We're like, we're going to see our baby today.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
And again went over the top of my stomach and
could see.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
The sack and no, the sack. I could see the.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Sack, and then you can see the lady doing the
ultrasound kind of pushing real deep, trying to find the heartbeat.
And I remember her saying, also, how far.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Along are you?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
And I was like, oh, nine weeks, And then she's
asking me when was your last cycles. That's how they
calculate how far long you are, And I kept telling
her and she's like, oh, it's just not adding up.
Can you go to the toilet and come back and
we'll go internally? And me being not vague, but I
had never been pregnant before, so I didn't didn't know
what was routine, didn't know that this might have been
(24:18):
cause for concerns. So I went empty my butt, come
back and she's gone internal and gone, okay, well, I
don't I don't want to speculate or say anything out
of place, but.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Like, I can see what would have been.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Your baby, but there's unfortunately no heartbeat, and even though
you're nine weeks, you're tracking more around the six week mark.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
So something happened at that six week mark that.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Has pretty much resulted in a missed a miscarriage.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
But what I was going through was a missed miscarriage.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
So even though the heart had stopped beating or never
never did start beating, I will ever know, but that
my body didn't catch on to.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
What was going on.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
So my body kept developing as it was pregnant, and
so I never never knew anything was wrong. Every day
would wake up feeling a bit sick. My boobs were
getting bigger. All the signs and symptoms were there, so
I didn't think anything was wrong. So yeah, that was
a bit of a shock to take and obviously very
(25:26):
hard news to handle. And so straight away they booked
me for the procedure, which is the DNC where they
remove the remains, and normally you don't get anything from
the DNC of the results, but in our case, I
got a call on Christmas Day from the obstitution who
(25:50):
performed the operation, which is never a good sign.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
You don't really want to get a.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Call on Christmas Day from a professional, and he said
that what happened in our case was two sperms entered
the one egg, which was a partial mold of pregnancy.
So what should have forty six chromosomes o ours actually
had three sets two male, two sets of male chromosome,
one set of female chromosomes, so obviously wasn't compatible with life.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
So it was the egg didn't close fast enough.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Right, Well, yeah, they can never like because that's what
we asked him, like, how did this happen?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
He said, literally, it's like being struck by lightning.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
This happens to one in twelve hundred women so crazy
and we don't know if it was the egg didn't
close fast enough or it didn't close after it let
the first sperm in. So yeah, it was really, yeah,
really hard news.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
So it was tough. FU. Yeah, I feel like what
people need to understand is, you know, it's I think
what we realized was it's more, it's more common. But
nohe kind of speaks about it, yep. But at the
same time, for us, it's quite it was. I feel
like it was harder for us because we have no
(27:07):
family over here. We had no one or no immediate
family to lean on initially, so we're kind of just
come home and we're just crying. We had no one
to lean on. And also I feel like I took
it a bit harder than you, maybe, like I I
had to go see someone, a psychologist, because I was
(27:28):
just kind of confused. And I think the human like
the first human reaction is you start pointing fingers off,
but you know, why is this person having kids and
we can't, And that's what upset me. But I think
talking about it is the most important thing because I
feel like people didn't understand that it's not I mean,
(27:48):
like it happens but the fact that it has on
us and I feel like the fact that it has
on females, like what your body, what your body does?
It blows my mind. And even now that you're pregnant
with too, I just think, like, how does a body
know how to do that? Like, how does a body
know how to say, all right, let's prep for this baby.
(28:08):
And that's what blows my mind. Yeah, but then even
the process afterwards, right, yeah, so you have the procedure,
all right, the body has the heel. Yeah. Yeah, it
just blows my mind.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
And that like, like that's such a great point you
bring up because you have faith as a woman, like
you go through your whole life getting a mental cycle
and trusting that your body will know what to do,
and then the one one time, like it's it should
know what to do and it lets you down and
you don't know why.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
And I would just bring up a point that helped
me through so much, and it's such as it could
be like a really silly point to people.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
But coming back from that that horrible news of the miscarriage,
and you come home and like we're obviously only got
each other here, we're hugging it, we're on the couch.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
Crying and this door literally out of Norwich just does
the loudest but and makes us laugh such in such
a horrible time, Like and that's why people like, but
he's such a he's just a dog, Like.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
He's honestly got us through some horrible times. Yeah, I
just think without him, without you, like, it's hard to Yeah,
it's a horrible thing to go through. But and it's
such an isolating experience, especially being in another country, Like
you choose to close people off and you choose not
to share even though some friends and family do you
(29:34):
know what you're going through?
Speaker 1 (29:35):
And that's how are you? Like, yeah, I'm shit, Like
there's no other way to put it.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
And yeah, but the more you do feel comfortable to
open up to people, you actually do realize how many
women and men have gone.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Through this, even after they've had a kid.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
And they choose to try for a second and then
they go through infertility and miscarriages.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
And all that.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
And some people say, well, lest you've got a kid,
and it's like absolutely not, like it's all it's all
so hard and it doesn't take away from what they're
going through. And like, I know I've got friends who
are so young and have to go through IVF and
battles like that.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Okay, you can stop licking my tears. So yeah, but
I feel like as well, how people approach approach that question.
And we got it a lot before we even before
we even got married, right, yeah, before we even got married.
And then after we got married, we got asked that
question all the time when he's going to have kids,
(30:36):
when he's going to try, and I think all the time.
And I think some people come from a from a
space where it's it's it's like it's from a good space, right, No,
I want you to enjoy what they have enjoyed. But
at the same time, I feel like people need to
learn how to tread lightly around asking those kind of questions.
And they're asking these kind of questions, you don't know
(30:56):
what that what that couple has gone through, what that
person has gone through, Right, It's like someone could have
lost someone that week, Like someone could have lost a
family member, someone could have lost the pet, anything like that. Yeah,
So I feel like when they're wording these questions or
when you're going to have a kid, or when you're
going to try, I think it's there's more taught than
just you know, going in there and trying because we
have friends and we have close family members that have
(31:19):
had to go for IVF to have kids. Just afoll pregnant,
right yeah, and then you spend all that money and
they're pregnant. Sometimes it's not even one hundred percent, they're
not guarantee. So you spend all the money, but then
you can't even have the baby, right yeah. So that's
what breaks my heart as well. So I feel like, yeah,
just tread lightly. I mean it's all like, it's all
well and good, and I've never judged anyone. If you
want to go and have kids when you're a young, mate,
(31:41):
go do it, Like I support you fully, Yeah, good
for you, God bless whatever. However, don't shove that message
on other people's throats, you know what I mean, Like,
if you want to do that, go do that. Well,
it's extremely triggering for people like going through it, Like
don't don't even respond at all. But I think just
having a wink bit more open mind to going through
(32:03):
Yeah exactly. And that's and that's the question. Yeah, And
that's what I always say, like you just got to
be be cautious, like you know, like obviously if it's
coming from somewhere close to you, you know that it's
you know. But if it's coming from you know friends
or not really close friends, yeah, it's like, bro, shut up,
don't ask me questions like that such an intimate question
(32:23):
to ask as part of a small talk.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I've never understood that, even before we went through all
of this, when I would get asked at like your
games and stuff or when are you in mask and
to plan on having kids?
Speaker 1 (32:32):
What the fuck I'm on the pill? Like, I'd be like,
what what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Like I would never That's never been my go to
for small talk, much rather stick to the weather.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
However, at the same time, right for people that that
don't experience this, so people that are able to just
have FLL pregnant and have kids successfully, they will never
know what it's like and we never deal what it
was like. We have friends that went through that and
we're like, oh, you know, it is what it is,
but it's not until you actually go through go through it. Yeah,
(33:04):
you go through it, you go holy, you know, you
you get the great news, and then you start planning,
Oh this is what we can do, this like this
was going to happen you start telling your close immediate family,
and then even when you tell them, you know, like
Tays had a miscarriage, they don't believe you know. Yeah,
it's our initial shock.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
So yeah, And I've found that especially hard as well,
because in your family, especially, like all the women from
what I know, Like, again, I could be assuming and
people have going through battles silently, but in your family,
all the females like they just can get pregnant like
that and go on to have successful pregnancy. So I
(33:43):
found it really hard to to not live up to that.
But obviously I didn't live up to that, and I
found that incredibly hard as well.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
We shouldn't and I feel like any female shouldn't feel
that way. So it be your fault. It's just the way.
It's just the way it is. Yeah, Like if you
believe in God, the universe, the stars always aligned, right,
So when people say, now, when people say to us, oh,
how are you gonna do it, it's going like, how
are you gonna do? You having twins? And yeah, no no,
And I just think because you don't realize what we've
actually been through.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
It's like the can I just say the things that
have been said to us since we've told people were
having twins, Like, you can't fucking win.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
You cannot win.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Like it's like people when you're trying will ask you
you're gonna have kids, gonna have kids, but suddenly when
you tell them the twins and suddenly they and they
flip the switching twins.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
How are you going to do that? Like how's how
are you going to manage you?
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Guys don't even live with feeling? And it's like, well,
what you want men to do? Give one up for adoption,
Like you can't plan to.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Not have twins. You can't plan to you have twins.
You're just gonna be grateful for what you given. And
I'm a big and obviously I believe in God my faith.
I'm just thinking, bro, he's blessed us. So yeah, it
is what it is. We're gonna have to deal with it.
And then so when people say that, I'm just like, bro,
we will be sweet, like don't you know? And I
feel like they're from but they're just kind of passing
on there the experiences that they went through. Yeah, all
(35:04):
that low self was seen that they of how they're
thinking they've been through it. Yeah, most of them hadn't
been through a miscarriage. Yeah you know. Yeah, so he
tried going through that and that.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Hard, honestly, And that's why that first ultra sound this
time around was so triggering because when she was like, oh,
there's your heartbeat, but go to the toilet and empty
your bladder, I was like, oh my god, here we
go again, Like what's what's happening? And so finding out
there was another baby in there was honestly the best
use I could have ever been given because I was like,
(35:37):
oh my god, I don't even don't have one, I
have two to corrupt in this world.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
And came up on you. So Louis got a little
army coming with you back. It was going to be
the leader. Louis going to be the leader. I just
want to follow him.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Hey, Honestly, I know every time I talk about him,
I tear up. But finally, before.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Before it was that was crying, I was crying. But
this is all right. So when you see take crying,
give her a bit of thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
And then after he's pregnancy, you'll see what a hard
bitch I am. But that I don't know if you
felt the impact like I did, because you still had
to work full time when I was going through all that,
but being at home by yourself, when you have no
family and he's on the couch, been watching Phantom Pump
Rules with me.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
And why does she just to question him. I'd come
home and say, hang on, you didn't have the mischaracter
bud mom did. And he's sitting there the secret.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
But he could tell dogs pick up, Like as soon
as we got home that day, crying after we got
the news, he was I remember you saying, Louis, come
kiss mummy, Come kiss mummy. And he just from that
point on for two weeks, do not leave my sight
on the couch like he dogs.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Are just amazing. Yeah, and is the best look at it?
But yeah, I yeah today if it wasn't for what happened,
that's what I'm.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
One hundred because it's like you learn from every situation,
and I'm not. There's absolutely nothing you can do to
prevent those. It's actually not And I remember saying to
our doctor after it happened, how can we not allow
this to happen again? Because it being the natural control
freak I am, or well, anyone in their right mind
would want to avoid that happening to them again, and
(37:29):
the worst thing for me was hearing you can't these
things just happen and they're incredibly common. And then I
remember saying, well, can we both get tested to just
make sure nothing happens and to hear or normally you
have to go through three or four miscarriages to get
the testy.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I was like, are you serious? So they're like, why, like,
why is that a thing? I don't.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
I don't Why do women and men have to go
through this time and time again?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
It's just bizarre to me. But so yeah, good a
good outcome in the end, So thank you.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Apologies to anyone who this is incredibly triggering to. It's
fucking hard and it's something that none of us have
control over us. So just get through day by day
because I'll get yourself a sausage dog.
Speaker 5 (38:20):
Absolutely, it's all about him.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Now. Now, this next story I tell is one hundred
percent true, and it's the and it's the first time
I've actually gone holy. My wife is a strong woman.
So obviously the miscarriage had happened, and then we had
to go through the next steps in the process of
obviously the DNC. Yeah, anyway, the day of the DNC
you've gone in for the operation that I've gone home
(38:55):
to sort out some lunch for you. So I've gone,
I've sorted out some coffees or your coffee. Go to
your favorite almond croissant. It's beautiful, and I've got your sandwich.
Come back to pick you up. We're going through this together.
We're riding it together at this moment, and I'm trying
to take the piss out of it, not out of
the situation, but just out of you. Are You're laying
in the bed carrying on all this kindless Yes. Anyhow,
(39:17):
we leave the hospital and we get in the car
and we're driving on a busy road in Auckland. Yeah,
so it's essentially bumper a bump of traffic. You've just
had the operation done, so you've obviously so you're obviously
pumped up on the meds. Right, Yeah, but I'm a
shell of myself. I remember really been like this. Please
don't follow it, please don't. You had a vomit bag. Yeah,
you had a vomit bag. You and you will and
(39:39):
you'll shriveled up on the passenger seat. And I'm thinking, man, like,
I'm looking at you, going to brow this poor lady,
like what you just have to go through all this
kind of stuff. So I'm driving, I'm calm anyway, bumper
the bump of traffic, and then we're sitting in traffic
and then all of a sudden, boom, side mirror goes missing. Yeah,
so someone has hit and runner. So we're sitting in traffic.
(40:01):
Someone has hit us. Hit the side mirror of our car,
almost taken it off. And it was like you were
there on on like in the passage you see, and
it was like the Undertaker had resen from the dead.
You've sat up and you just went off.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
I did remember hearing that me and go mass did
I guess hit us?
Speaker 1 (40:24):
I remember looking at it and got it bed got
a bit, don't worry about, to worry about, like fucking game,
get even.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
I remember saying pull go geut of the lake because
we're pupa above the bus, and I said, see chased
me like can't down, can't. I was like, fucking get him.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
And then you've gotten out the car. You should put
a child. A child. It's not even funny. It's not
even funny because I'm thinking to myself, hang on, hang on,
she's just had a surgery.
Speaker 6 (40:52):
She's bleeding from downstairs. They put you in a naptun
hang on, she can't be she wrote, nap I know,
and I'm going to get this guy. You want to
hit and run us?
Speaker 1 (41:04):
You really want to fucking know what we're going through
right now? Not today, not today. So that I've gone
hang on, I've had to put the car and park,
get out the car, get you back in the car.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
I know, instead of yelling at him, your consolate thing
like a little like I'm a demensia patient at the
elderly home.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Come on, let's that's what it felt like. I felt
like I was. Yeah, I feel like I was dealing
with someone that has just been you know, you were
very vulnerable and then how to go from vulnerable to
ready to attack?
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Mate, switch baby straight into attack mode? Final flight, I fight,
I know, flying.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
You you went straight from blue, you jump straight from
you jump the purple, so purples in between, you went
straight to red.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
I was some fire.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
I remember coming back in the car and said, tell
you you can't do that.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
You've just had an operation. I said, where can he?
You didn't run us? How is that fair? I was,
I'm like, hey, this year and I remember you said.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
I remember saying, cops, color, cops down, because if I'm
not allowed to do with this.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Someone asked, you know you run over. You were saying
that you and like, you're probably we never watched this movie.
Oh yeah, Fast and Furious, the first one. I don't
have playing fucking cars flying to and back. I don't
have that.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
What's his Nameane always Brian.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
He he shoots and kills it and kills someone lovely
and he starts screaming to do you? And I was
like when you were saying that, I was like, you
can't attack anyone right now.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
You're blady Bless you though, because you did call the
cops on me. Just shut yeah, And I was it
was on speaker, and You're trying to talk to them,
calm and I'm.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Going tell them, tell them, tell them. And I've recorded
I recorded his car. I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
And I said, I need to find someone that has
the technology where you put the N plate in and
it tells you their address.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
I remember saying to you.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
I'm gonna fucking find someone for the last thing I do.
And I remember we came home and I had a nap.
When I woke up like five hours later, say, did
that really have it? Check it out of the car
and a nappy?
Speaker 1 (43:17):
You're crazy, mate, you are. These twins are going to
be exactly like that baby hate. People think I am
gonnauck when I'm on the footy field your next level.
Where do you get it from?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
Mate?
Speaker 1 (43:28):
You learn everything from me. It's look, I'm taking it out.
You're giving it to me at home, and I'm taking
it on in the field.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
It was bad timing and I do suffer from a
really bad road rage because I feel like.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Driving is personal. It's really fucking personal.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
If you don't if I let you in and you
don't do the courtesy wave, you're blacklisted.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
And I'm fucking god your number plate.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Because that's rude and out of all days, you want
to do that to me. You want to just swear
our car and take the freaking side mirror off And I'm.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Not going to do anything. Nappy or no nap, I
don't care how old you are. Happy girl superhero name.
By the way, we did get the mirror fixed, yes we.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Did, of course, because you can't really drive with one mirror,
with one mirror of any who.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
That's just to be good to the nature of this life,
isn't it that would only happen to us.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Just when you think you hit rock bottom, something else
fucking files on.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
It goes not yet, hone, you can handle more. Have
this as well, take your side, mirror.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
But I remember we got Dante's pizza that night and
that was amazing. Yes, truffle oil, it's my favorite.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
A good meal always kind of makes everything for a
little bit better in the moment. It absolutely does. A
good meal and a sausage dog. I STI find that
who is the best.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
When we started recording this month ago, my face was
much more put together. I can't get botox either, so
I've started a really bad time.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
It's beautiful. Thank you any who, Thank you. It's been
a great it's been a great day film episode two.
But I think it's just time to call it. So
it's a mother from me, It's it's a chow from me,
chow boy. What else can we say? Live? Laugh, last
(45:14):
the chance may face. Thank you for tuning in. Montoy's
are out
This is an iHeart Radio New Zealand podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I think now it's a good time to bring up
the elephant in the room.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
My mom just screamed, screamed.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
It was like not even a scream, actually was a
how she was like.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
We beat Newcastle? Yes, yes, I was up on the
launch pad.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
So is this pelvist injury even a real thing or
is it's just avoid touching me?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
How's your week been? It's been good. I've bet on
the men. Yeah, I'm recovering from a grown injury. Yes. Uh,
and it's yeah, it's been up and down yeah, in
ums of recovering, but it's fine. I mean I'm getting
there every day, mate, every day. You're a soldier. Yes,
and shout out to my boy Chance for getting me
(00:54):
through some tough days.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Oh that's nice. Yes, so that's nice. Is there anything
I could be doing more? I'm missing the mark on.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
We'll talk about that a bit later. Oh okay, cool, Okay,
I saw content. Don't you worry well?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Speaking of speaking of injuries and you know, things that
are affecting the body, I think now it's a good
time to bring up the elephant in the room.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Louis.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
You could say me, I've fucking gained a few I'm
not gonna lie, but there's a good reason for it.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
What's going on? We pregnant, yes, sir.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Yeah, so twenty weeks officially, which is when do you
think about it?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
That's a huge amount of time.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
That's that four, eight, twelve, sixteen, twenty five months? Is
it five months? I've only got four left? Can you
believe that in four months you're going to be a dad?
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I want to be a zaddie. I wouldn't go that far.
Am I a milk fucking Why think? At the minute?
At the minute died? Hey at the middle we're growing.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So is this pelvic pelvis injury even a real thing?
Or is it just avoid touching me?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Taylor? I've got to go through two rounds of scans.
We know the damage I've done, you know, you know it,
That's what happened, that's the damage. Do you know when
we conceived? Do you actually know when we conceived? We
beat Newcastle here? Yes? Yes, I was up on the
(02:31):
launch pad and came home and said, hang on.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, and can I actually tell this? I'm sure she'll
be fine with me saying I want you I want
to because this is funny when you scored that try.
Laura mcgolch, I'm one of my best bats, text me
saying you better let him get it tonight. Laura, Hey,
I said, you know what for once I might you
(02:58):
know what, Laura, Laura has.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Has spoken this in she spoke sister, She's blessed us.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yes, yeah, so yeah, very exciting.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I'm so stoked. I can't wait to be a barber
copay to watch you be your dad. I think you're
going to kill it. I hope so.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
But I just want to take you through the story
of how I found out because you went in the
country to me. As trend prevails in this podcast, you're
never around.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Look around, hang on before you go on with your story.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
No, I'm grateful you're not around. You do my heating,
so I'm really grateful for your job. Yeah, we do,
I mean absolutely do. Like we've said many times, this
one hour a week is so beneficial. Anything more fucking suicide.
So you were away and my parents surprised me. I
obviously told them when I took the pregnancy test that
(03:52):
I'm going to go for my skin MUSSELO is not
going to be here, so I'll be fine.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Don't worry about it. I've got my dog here where
a sabrockey. We're good to go. And I was watching
a game.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Oh god, I was watching one of your games and
someone knocks on the door and surprised it's Mom and
Dad flown all the way from Sydney to Auckland. So
that was exciting to come for my first skin, which
was really early.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
It was a six week mark. So we went all
as a family to.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
The first skin, yeah, Ascott Hospital and just moum came
in the room because I think Dad was like, oh,
that's a bit too close for home, and hey, I
get it, especially because so early on they have to
go internally.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
So me.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Mum go in the room and it's it's actually such
a nerve wracking process if anyone's been through it, especially
that early on.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
It is terrifying because you don't know what you're going
to see.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Uh, you find out a lot, hopefully all good news.
And so we go into the room and the lady
does the skin over the stomach and she goes, oh,
there's your heartbeat, you're officially pregnant. There's the baby, and
wet like my mom tearing up as a really nice moment,
and then she goes, but I just need to confirm something,
so if you can go empty your bladder, come back
(05:08):
in and we're gonna go internal.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
And I was like, okay, cool, you off a bit.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Yeah, dude, it's very scary here in those words, because
it's like, but I've seen the heartbeat, so like, can
we just end it here, because like I don't want
to don't look for anything else, like I'm so grateful.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
So I did that.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I come back, she sticks the machine internally. She goes, okay,
so I just want to point out again there's your baby,
and there's the heartbeat.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
And when me and mum look at each other like
now amazing, and then she guys, stops, sorry, you know me,
this is this is me.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
And then she goes, but I just want to bring
your attention to something else, and I'm like, oh god,
here we fucking go what And she goes, so first baby,
one baby, one heartbeat. I'm just gonna move over here
and you'll see there's actually a second baby with a
second heartbeat.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
You're having twins. And my mom just screamed, screamed.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
It was like not even a scream, ACTU she was
a how she was like noise like that, and I
don't care about him anymore.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
He's out. The fucking twins are in.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
And she just bursted into tears and I was like, okay, bitch,
still my moment, like make about you.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
And I'm like, oh my god, are you sure?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
And she's like, yes, you're there's two heartbeats, there's two babies.
They're identical twins because they're sharing the placenta. I was like,
holy fuck. So then she goes all.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Right, well you're good to go.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
I was like, can I get a fucking handbook I
want to do next?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Like what the hell? So that's huge.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
So we walk out of the room and my dad
sees my mom first come out crying and he goes,
oh my god, like, is everything okay? What's wrong? And
I said, oh, we're having twins, dad, And he goes, oh,
you're such a bullshit artist.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You're full of shit. It could never take anything seriously.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
What's wrong with you? Sue to my mom and I go, Dad,
I'm having twins. Listen to me.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
And I honestly like cross my heart. Took him ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It wasn't until we were on the way home that
he goes, so is this actually happening?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And I was like, yes, yes, what is big news
to take, especially when there's no twins on your side
of the family.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I know, yes, there's no twins on your side of
the family, but there is on yours. Right.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah? Yeah, how far back? So my mom's my mom's
two brothers have identical Well I wonder if that's where
it came from. There we have to my and then
my my mom's first cousin, my auntie, my aunts nine level,
she has twin girls. Wow, well what else a girl identical?
(07:44):
So there you go.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
See me your girl, dad, I think you'll fucking kill
it and they're going to be a deal.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
See how that I didn't even have to think about it.
I just gave you that certain gratification.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Well that's what I'm saying, but you never.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Gave that to me, and I'm still hurt about that. So, yeah,
it's very exciting news. I'm stoked. You're clearly stoked. Do
you remember what I told you I didn't believe you. Yeah,
I facetimed you because you were in Sydney.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, no, so we obviously found out ages ago. Yeah,
first time, four months, five months ago. First time I
had a feeling though. We had visitors over. We had
Georgia and Nathan were over with Riley, Yeah, visiting, and
we went over to we went to Wahiki for the
day and we had and it was a beautiful day.
I had a few reds and then you started feeling
sick and I polished off a whole packet of shape
(08:33):
and then I've gone, yeah, but that was the next day. Yeah,
but you but you were feeling sick when we're at Wahiki. Anyway,
you went to work the next day and you come
home and go mass. I had a full packet of
shapes that work. Yeah, and I've gone, hang on, that's
out of your character.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Well, yeah, it's rare for me because again I worked
morning hours. I really feel like shapes at six am,
six am, mate, Can I just tell you it's been
five long months of an inch shapes at six ams?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
And then I've gone hang on. I don't want to
say to you because Nathan, obviously, Nathan and George and
Riley were here. Yeah, so I waited for them. They
flew out on the Wednesday, was it, yeah or Tuesday? Tuesday?
Minor details don't matter. They flew out anyway A day
before I did, before I had to go over to
Sydney for a game. Yeah, And before I left, I said,
(09:20):
you're pregnant and you said no, I'm not. Yeah. I
stopped and I said, no, you are. You should do
a test. Yeah, And then you didn't listen to me.
Go by him, excuse me, and then I went flew off.
I landed in Sydney, and then you got your your
stupid message, Marce I need to call you. Something's happened.
(09:41):
I know what You're in my head. You're pregnant, all right,
don't try surprise me. Surprised me that stuff either. People do.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I said to my head, should I wait the two
weeks he's away, un tell you when it gets home.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
And I was like, how am I going to keep that?
People do that? That's half the reason why I haven't
got social media for that kind. I know it's cute.
I want to announce him up happy that shut up,
shut up, you're pregnant.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Take this pregnancy announcement with your social media hatred.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
It's fine. I'm just saying. I'm just saying, all right.
And then you said, mass I'm pregnant. I said, oh,
cut to the chase, cut the bullshit out. You told me.
I was pumped. I was in the team bus. I
couldn't even shame my relation. I'm sitting in the bus
and all the boys around. I can't I pumped. And
then the week after I faced I need to tell
you you were having twins.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Two weeks after, two weeks after, and that was another
face time and another I think I caught you at
a really bad time to you.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Guys were in a team meeting. Yeah, we lost, we
lost the Newcastle. Yeah. And then it was the next day,
the Monday was a Monday, and we had team meetings. Yeah,
all day, all day, Yeah, obviously doing a review and stuff.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
And you you are you trying to call me? I
missed the call you My mom found out before me. Yeah,
because I had to tell someone. Yeah, which is cool.
I'm glad you called. I remember when I told you
a mom, I said, do you don't tell us all?
He doesn't know yet.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I was like, but we're having tweets and she was
so she cried straight away and she was like, when.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Are you going to tell him?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
He's got a busy day. And then I called you back,
and then it was still like, imagine being at work
in that environment. Then I couldn't have to run away.
And then yeah, boys looking.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
At him like such a hard piece of information to
process too in the middle of your day.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
It was the best phone call. But then your mum again,
Yes she called me, statched the phone off me, but
you're driving. She's sitting the passenger seat on the phone. Yeah,
have time, and I'm looking at her and I can
see she's like emotional, emotional yeah, And then she goes,
do you have some time? And so she just told me.
(11:54):
Now you're going another meeting in five minutes. And she goes, all,
wait for ye told me. Now you've actually screamed. Then
she goes, she.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
We just lost.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
You should have won. We just lost. So I'm dealing
with that. You've told me we've got twins. I've gone,
hang on, I've gone, I want to take a carry.
Now I want to run again. And then I've got her.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And my dad in the backgroundstage stowers you bus. Thanks, yeah,
fucking thanks, Oh my god, honestly, and after holl experience,
I said, hey, guys, really meant a love that you
were here. Next time, stay home. I think I can
do this on my own exaucing. And then bless I
(12:45):
was so early, was six weeks And the next day
she takes me to baby bunting at Sylvie Park. This
is the twin prems you need, Taylor. She's test driving prayers.
Me and dad are sitting on those fucking rocking chairs.
I we've got time, babe, we have time.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I don't live in you see, Ta, We've got to
get stuff today. I said, sponsor. She could sponsor us,
long Susan Lombardy could sponsor us. She can't sponsor ship.
Pretty bought off a woodrobe. I know she did, bless her,
but so yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And then like another thing that I never really had
a thought about because we've never been in this situation before,
is when you when you work in a corporate job
and you find out you're pregnant and you wait three
months to make sure everything's okay, touch wood, and then
you have to tell that news to your bosses.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And I know you hearing that is like that's fine,
but it's a whole nother layer.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
When it's a serious environment and to your boss is
a male and like, how do you get pregnant? You
sleep with someone, so like, yeah, I'll explain how I
explained it to my boss.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
It's a weird situation to me. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I just felt super awkward. I'm not so if I'm
alone in that situation. Did you feel awkward when you're
told No?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
When I told my I told Webby, yeah he had
an idea, did he? Yes, but he hadn't seen me
in a while. Yeah, but we left the after match
function early one time because you're feeling sick. Okay, yes,
and that's yeah, I must have been there. Yeah. And
then he goes, oh, and then the next thing takes
(14:27):
I think Webby's got I think Webby's got like a
psych Yeah, not psychic, but he's intuition. Yeah, I see
that he's got that. Very smart. And I've told him
and he goes, I think I know what we're going
to tell me. Oh really, that's see, And I said, well,
I don't really, yeah, I want to wait. But then
I told him and he goes, mate, like it was unreal.
(14:50):
It was different when you tell a male. We joke
about it. I joke about it. It's gone straight away,
hug me. Unreal.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Use you know, especially for you mate, you got twins
in there, great, great track.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
That's called him off track. I said, yeah, but that's
not even the surprise. Yeah, I said, we twings and
he goes, Holy, he goes no way, I'm telling you,
and he goes, no way. Promise my mine can swim? Well,
my my can't.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
They naked crack your egg open apparently, because that's I
went in there.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
It's like the word carry the book. They just go
in there, no fear.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah, yeah, and I don't think my egg was prepared
for that AnyWho, we won't going to the biology side
of things. Well, how I told my bosses was a
lot different, because you know, I love to I love
to drag things on, like I'm doing this podcast. I
love to.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Live in me and you.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I cut to the chase. Yes, I hate the nail
on the head straight away, we get over they mine.
It's like the band aids there and I just tap
away inch by inch, you take it off, put it
back on.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, and then when its ripped off, no.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
I want to back off because there's more on a
new band aid. Please. So can I.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Just tell you this because I actually give myself credit
to how I did this story teller, especially when it's
a story I care about. So I called them all
into a meeting. My two bosses, one female, one's male,
great great guys, go a good relationship with both of them.
So I said, I'm gonna fucking nail this delivery here
straight away. When I walked into the room, they said,
you're leaving, aren't you, which is a normal response in
(16:34):
a corporate world, because as soon as you're the employee
calling the meeting with the employer, you've got fucking mic
job news.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, they could think what's going on literally.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Literally blackmail them like, you know, but you don't know,
like I would never I've got nothing on them that.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I don't know it or something. Oh yeah, I don't know.
I think deep.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
And so I sat in the room and they're like,
please tell us you're not leaving. And I was like, well,
it's not not that.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
They're like wow.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
That's when their fucking eyes palm of my hands, man,
I said, boom, Okay, I've got them where I want
them again, I said, well, I've had an offer for
another position.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Eyes are widening, said, and it's.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Come from It's come from internal. I like that, yes,
because they think internal from the company.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
What's that what's it called in English? Alliteration is a
similar metaphor. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
I don't know what any of those means, but yeah,
but it's like a play on words.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
So I was like, it's come from internal and they're thinking,
oh my god, what station has offered her something? And
I but I meant internal from the body, and I
was like, it's an offer I can't refuse. It's like
an offer I've actually wanted for quite some time now.
And it's like it wasn't a surprise to me, you know,
(18:00):
because I had been joined for a while.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
You should have just went and they're offering me about
five hundred. So I don't think my leave's I got
in his country, barks. I think you can get that
leave like that anyway, and then bumped me up at
so you need to come up show me the money.
And they're like, oh my god, who is it? Who
(18:23):
is it? Like what's happening?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
And I was like, yeah, so you know, it's too
it's too good to not to not refuse. Yeah, it's good,
too good to refuse. And yeah, they've internally offered me
a job to be a mom, And they were like,
oh my god, I was like, yes, nailed it, fucking
o earth got to be the best.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Way to announce the pregnancy to give you that's good. Yes.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
And then when I said, then they go and I said,
and that's not it. It's come from two voices because
I'm having twins. Bang twin, mom bye. And then they
were like, oh my god, how long do you want
maturningly for? I was like indefinitely, No, I said, let's
start not coming back. I was like, they were very
(19:11):
very gracious, very happy for us.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Oh, sorry, Louis, I'm suffocating you.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
I can take the pillowf now because I am pregnant, discusting. Sorry, mate,
get used to it. That stomach is going to grow.
So yeah, and that was stoked. And then that was it.
That was a bit of excitement for the week for everyone.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
That's I think the way you played it out was unreal. Yeah,
because I've got time in the mornings to think. But still,
I've just got no time for that. So and I'm
walking in the train whatever early in the morning, in
my head mask, prep prep prep. Yeah, yeah, something I'm
I'm telling him walking out. I don't want I don't
want some more talk. Cut to the chain. Yeah, you're
(19:55):
finging prep, prep, prep. I'm thinking get me out of you. No,
but I'm thinking make a moment entertained. Why the masses?
What don't we news? I love to share that with
people in the most dramatic way. But the thing about
that's the thing about your family. You know that story
(20:16):
about the boy that cried wolf. Yeah, no, no, it's not
even funny because if we keep, if we keep being
like this and having this, you know, because because we
crack jokes with them, yeah, you know, and some days
going to be a serious matter and they just want
to think of whatever whatever. So we've gotta we actually
got to tell them yeah. Or there has to be
(20:37):
a word.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah, like if we were to fall pregnant again and
it was twins again, it has to be a word
they would like, a safe word, a safe word that
that means. It's cherry. It's the first thing that comes
from out. But no, Kardashian's us.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
By yeah with them to the furthest from it too,
bybe you're not wrong. Something to think about it, some.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Thinking about it, Like let's go with cherry cherry, cherry
like cherry like swear because I had a cherry ripe today,
So that's why that's I love cherry Ripe, and really,
if I'm being chocolate this.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Bread, chocolate, Doritos shapes.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Feel free to reach out and sponsor of any of
the brands I've mentioned. No, please don't Subway Cookies.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
No, we don't need any of that in the house
at the minute I'm feeding three. How dare you there?
It is? You're so hurtful? Hey, guys, Taylor jumping in here.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Although this episode did start off with some great news
lots of happy moments, it is about to take a
bit of a deeper turn as we talk about topics
like infertility and miscarriage. This isn't for you completely understand
as skip ahead and enjoy the rest of the episode.
So obviously, this is such exciting, beautiful news that we're
(22:10):
so grateful for that we can't wait to start this
next journey.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
But wouldn't be wouldn't feel right to share such.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Happy news if we didn't like open up about a
little about what the past few months have looked like
for us and what we've went through, Because I, like
many women, can understand that hearing news like this.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Can also be quite triggering and like uncomfortable to hear.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
So yeah, a few months ago now, last last October,
I was pregnant, and again ecstatic. We were happy, we
were ready for it, weren't planning it, but we were
at the stage being married for a bit, being together
nine years.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
If it happens, happens.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
And so I was about nine weeks pregnant when I
went in for the first scan, because when you book
it in, they you want to go earlier just to
be reassured that you are pregnant.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
But when you're our age, there's no cause for concern.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
They just come in for a routine checkup, a scan, sorry,
and we'll go from there. So we went for the
first scan, which would have been the nine week mark,
and we're both so excited.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
We're like, we're going to see our baby today.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
And again went over the top of my stomach and
could see.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
The sack and no, the sack. I could see the.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Sack, and then you can see the lady doing the
ultrasound kind of pushing real deep, trying to find the heartbeat.
And I remember her saying, also, how far.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Along are you?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
And I was like, oh, nine weeks, And then she's
asking me when was your last cycles. That's how they
calculate how far long you are, And I kept telling
her and she's like, oh, it's just not adding up.
Can you go to the toilet and come back and
we'll go internally? And me being not vague, but I
had never been pregnant before, so I didn't didn't know
what was routine, didn't know that this might have been
(24:18):
cause for concerns. So I went empty my butt, come
back and she's gone internal and gone, okay, well, I
don't I don't want to speculate or say anything out
of place, but.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Like, I can see what would have been.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Your baby, but there's unfortunately no heartbeat, and even though
you're nine weeks, you're tracking more around the six week mark.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
So something happened at that six week mark that.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Has pretty much resulted in a missed a miscarriage.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
But what I was going through was a missed miscarriage.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
So even though the heart had stopped beating or never
never did start beating, I will ever know, but that
my body didn't catch on to.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
What was going on.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
So my body kept developing as it was pregnant, and
so I never never knew anything was wrong. Every day
would wake up feeling a bit sick. My boobs were
getting bigger. All the signs and symptoms were there, so
I didn't think anything was wrong. So yeah, that was
a bit of a shock to take and obviously very
(25:26):
hard news to handle. And so straight away they booked
me for the procedure, which is the DNC where they
remove the remains, and normally you don't get anything from
the DNC of the results, but in our case, I
got a call on Christmas Day from the obstitution who
(25:50):
performed the operation, which is never a good sign.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
You don't really want to get a.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Call on Christmas Day from a professional, and he said
that what happened in our case was two sperms entered
the one egg, which was a partial mold of pregnancy.
So what should have forty six chromosomes o ours actually
had three sets two male, two sets of male chromosome,
one set of female chromosomes, so obviously wasn't compatible with life.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
So it was the egg didn't close fast enough.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Right, Well, yeah, they can never like because that's what
we asked him, like, how did this happen?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
He said, literally, it's like being struck by lightning.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
This happens to one in twelve hundred women so crazy
and we don't know if it was the egg didn't
close fast enough or it didn't close after it let
the first sperm in. So yeah, it was really, yeah,
really hard news.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
So it was tough. FU. Yeah, I feel like what
people need to understand is, you know, it's I think
what we realized was it's more, it's more common. But
nohe kind of speaks about it, yep. But at the
same time, for us, it's quite it was. I feel
like it was harder for us because we have no
(27:07):
family over here. We had no one or no immediate
family to lean on initially, so we're kind of just
come home and we're just crying. We had no one
to lean on. And also I feel like I took
it a bit harder than you, maybe, like I I
had to go see someone, a psychologist, because I was
(27:28):
just kind of confused. And I think the human like
the first human reaction is you start pointing fingers off,
but you know, why is this person having kids and
we can't, And that's what upset me. But I think
talking about it is the most important thing because I
feel like people didn't understand that it's not I mean,
(27:48):
like it happens but the fact that it has on
us and I feel like the fact that it has
on females, like what your body, what your body does?
It blows my mind. And even now that you're pregnant
with too, I just think, like, how does a body
know how to do that? Like, how does a body
know how to say, all right, let's prep for this baby.
(28:08):
And that's what blows my mind. Yeah, but then even
the process afterwards, right, yeah, so you have the procedure,
all right, the body has the heel. Yeah. Yeah, it
just blows my mind.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
And that like, like that's such a great point you
bring up because you have faith as a woman, like
you go through your whole life getting a mental cycle
and trusting that your body will know what to do,
and then the one one time, like it's it should
know what to do and it lets you down and
you don't know why.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
And I would just bring up a point that helped
me through so much, and it's such as it could
be like a really silly point to people.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
But coming back from that that horrible news of the miscarriage,
and you come home and like we're obviously only got
each other here, we're hugging it, we're on the couch.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
Crying and this door literally out of Norwich just does
the loudest but and makes us laugh such in such
a horrible time, Like and that's why people like, but
he's such a he's just a dog, Like.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
He's honestly got us through some horrible times. Yeah, I
just think without him, without you, like, it's hard to Yeah,
it's a horrible thing to go through. But and it's
such an isolating experience, especially being in another country, Like
you choose to close people off and you choose not
to share even though some friends and family do you
(29:34):
know what you're going through?
Speaker 1 (29:35):
And that's how are you? Like, yeah, I'm shit, Like
there's no other way to put it.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
And yeah, but the more you do feel comfortable to
open up to people, you actually do realize how many
women and men have gone.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Through this, even after they've had a kid.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
And they choose to try for a second and then
they go through infertility and miscarriages.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
And all that.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
And some people say, well, lest you've got a kid,
and it's like absolutely not, like it's all it's all
so hard and it doesn't take away from what they're
going through. And like, I know I've got friends who
are so young and have to go through IVF and
battles like that.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Okay, you can stop licking my tears. So yeah, but
I feel like as well, how people approach approach that question.
And we got it a lot before we even before
we even got married, right, yeah, before we even got married.
And then after we got married, we got asked that
question all the time when he's going to have kids,
(30:36):
when he's going to try, and I think all the time.
And I think some people come from a from a
space where it's it's it's like it's from a good space, right, No,
I want you to enjoy what they have enjoyed. But
at the same time, I feel like people need to
learn how to tread lightly around asking those kind of questions.
And they're asking these kind of questions, you don't know
(30:56):
what that what that couple has gone through, what that
person has gone through, Right, It's like someone could have
lost someone that week, Like someone could have lost a
family member, someone could have lost the pet, anything like that. Yeah,
So I feel like when they're wording these questions or
when you're going to have a kid, or when you're
going to try, I think it's there's more taught than
just you know, going in there and trying because we
have friends and we have close family members that have
(31:19):
had to go for IVF to have kids. Just afoll pregnant,
right yeah, and then you spend all that money and
they're pregnant. Sometimes it's not even one hundred percent, they're
not guarantee. So you spend all the money, but then
you can't even have the baby, right yeah. So that's
what breaks my heart as well. So I feel like, yeah,
just tread lightly. I mean it's all like, it's all
well and good, and I've never judged anyone. If you
want to go and have kids when you're a young, mate,
(31:41):
go do it, Like I support you fully, Yeah, good
for you, God bless whatever. However, don't shove that message
on other people's throats, you know what I mean, Like,
if you want to do that, go do that. Well,
it's extremely triggering for people like going through it, Like
don't don't even respond at all. But I think just
having a wink bit more open mind to going through
(32:03):
Yeah exactly. And that's and that's the question. Yeah, And
that's what I always say, like you just got to
be be cautious, like you know, like obviously if it's
coming from somewhere close to you, you know that it's
you know. But if it's coming from you know friends
or not really close friends, yeah, it's like, bro, shut up,
don't ask me questions like that such an intimate question
(32:23):
to ask as part of a small talk.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I've never understood that, even before we went through all
of this, when I would get asked at like your
games and stuff or when are you in mask and
to plan on having kids?
Speaker 1 (32:32):
What the fuck I'm on the pill? Like, I'd be like,
what what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Like I would never That's never been my go to
for small talk, much rather stick to the weather.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
However, at the same time, right for people that that
don't experience this, so people that are able to just
have FLL pregnant and have kids successfully, they will never
know what it's like and we never deal what it
was like. We have friends that went through that and
we're like, oh, you know, it is what it is,
but it's not until you actually go through go through it. Yeah,
(33:04):
you go through it, you go holy, you know, you
you get the great news, and then you start planning,
Oh this is what we can do, this like this
was going to happen you start telling your close immediate family,
and then even when you tell them, you know, like
Tays had a miscarriage, they don't believe you know. Yeah,
it's our initial shock.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
So yeah, And I've found that especially hard as well,
because in your family, especially, like all the women from
what I know, Like, again, I could be assuming and
people have going through battles silently, but in your family,
all the females like they just can get pregnant like
that and go on to have successful pregnancy. So I
(33:43):
found it really hard to to not live up to that.
But obviously I didn't live up to that, and I
found that incredibly hard as well.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
We shouldn't and I feel like any female shouldn't feel
that way. So it be your fault. It's just the way.
It's just the way it is. Yeah, Like if you
believe in God, the universe, the stars always aligned, right,
So when people say, now, when people say to us, oh,
how are you gonna do it, it's going like, how
are you gonna do? You having twins? And yeah, no no,
And I just think because you don't realize what we've
actually been through.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
It's like the can I just say the things that
have been said to us since we've told people were
having twins, Like, you can't fucking win.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
You cannot win.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Like it's like people when you're trying will ask you
you're gonna have kids, gonna have kids, but suddenly when
you tell them the twins and suddenly they and they
flip the switching twins.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
How are you going to do that? Like how's how
are you going to manage you?
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Guys don't even live with feeling? And it's like, well,
what you want men to do? Give one up for adoption,
Like you can't plan to.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Not have twins. You can't plan to you have twins.
You're just gonna be grateful for what you given. And
I'm a big and obviously I believe in God my faith.
I'm just thinking, bro, he's blessed us. So yeah, it
is what it is. We're gonna have to deal with it.
And then so when people say that, I'm just like, bro,
we will be sweet, like don't you know? And I
feel like they're from but they're just kind of passing
on there the experiences that they went through. Yeah, all
(35:04):
that low self was seen that they of how they're
thinking they've been through it. Yeah, most of them hadn't
been through a miscarriage. Yeah you know. Yeah, so he
tried going through that and that.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Hard, honestly, And that's why that first ultra sound this
time around was so triggering because when she was like, oh,
there's your heartbeat, but go to the toilet and empty
your bladder, I was like, oh my god, here we
go again, Like what's what's happening? And so finding out
there was another baby in there was honestly the best
use I could have ever been given because I was like,
(35:37):
oh my god, I don't even don't have one, I
have two to corrupt in this world.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
And came up on you. So Louis got a little
army coming with you back. It was going to be
the leader. Louis going to be the leader. I just
want to follow him.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Hey, Honestly, I know every time I talk about him,
I tear up. But finally, before.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Before it was that was crying, I was crying. But
this is all right. So when you see take crying,
give her a bit of thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
And then after he's pregnancy, you'll see what a hard
bitch I am. But that I don't know if you
felt the impact like I did, because you still had
to work full time when I was going through all that,
but being at home by yourself, when you have no
family and he's on the couch, been watching Phantom Pump
Rules with me.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
And why does she just to question him. I'd come
home and say, hang on, you didn't have the mischaracter
bud mom did. And he's sitting there the secret.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
But he could tell dogs pick up, Like as soon
as we got home that day, crying after we got
the news, he was I remember you saying, Louis, come
kiss mummy, Come kiss mummy. And he just from that
point on for two weeks, do not leave my sight
on the couch like he dogs.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Are just amazing. Yeah, and is the best look at it?
But yeah, I yeah today if it wasn't for what happened,
that's what I'm.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
One hundred because it's like you learn from every situation,
and I'm not. There's absolutely nothing you can do to
prevent those. It's actually not And I remember saying to
our doctor after it happened, how can we not allow
this to happen again? Because it being the natural control
freak I am, or well, anyone in their right mind
would want to avoid that happening to them again, and
(37:29):
the worst thing for me was hearing you can't these
things just happen and they're incredibly common. And then I
remember saying, well, can we both get tested to just
make sure nothing happens and to hear or normally you
have to go through three or four miscarriages to get
the testy.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I was like, are you serious? So they're like, why, like,
why is that a thing? I don't.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
I don't Why do women and men have to go
through this time and time again?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
It's just bizarre to me. But so yeah, good a
good outcome in the end, So thank you.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Apologies to anyone who this is incredibly triggering to. It's
fucking hard and it's something that none of us have
control over us. So just get through day by day
because I'll get yourself a sausage dog.
Speaker 5 (38:20):
Absolutely, it's all about him.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Now. Now, this next story I tell is one hundred
percent true, and it's the and it's the first time
I've actually gone holy. My wife is a strong woman.
So obviously the miscarriage had happened, and then we had
to go through the next steps in the process of
obviously the DNC. Yeah, anyway, the day of the DNC
you've gone in for the operation that I've gone home
(38:55):
to sort out some lunch for you. So I've gone,
I've sorted out some coffees or your coffee. Go to
your favorite almond croissant. It's beautiful, and I've got your sandwich.
Come back to pick you up. We're going through this together.
We're riding it together at this moment, and I'm trying
to take the piss out of it, not out of
the situation, but just out of you. Are You're laying
in the bed carrying on all this kindless Yes. Anyhow,
(39:17):
we leave the hospital and we get in the car
and we're driving on a busy road in Auckland. Yeah,
so it's essentially bumper a bump of traffic. You've just
had the operation done, so you've obviously so you're obviously
pumped up on the meds. Right, Yeah, but I'm a
shell of myself. I remember really been like this. Please
don't follow it, please don't. You had a vomit bag. Yeah,
you had a vomit bag. You and you will and
(39:39):
you'll shriveled up on the passenger seat. And I'm thinking, man, like,
I'm looking at you, going to brow this poor lady,
like what you just have to go through all this
kind of stuff. So I'm driving, I'm calm anyway, bumper
the bump of traffic, and then we're sitting in traffic
and then all of a sudden, boom, side mirror goes missing. Yeah,
so someone has hit and runner. So we're sitting in traffic.
(40:01):
Someone has hit us. Hit the side mirror of our car,
almost taken it off. And it was like you were
there on on like in the passage you see, and
it was like the Undertaker had resen from the dead.
You've sat up and you just went off.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
I did remember hearing that me and go mass did
I guess hit us?
Speaker 1 (40:24):
I remember looking at it and got it bed got
a bit, don't worry about, to worry about, like fucking game,
get even.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
I remember saying pull go geut of the lake because
we're pupa above the bus, and I said, see chased
me like can't down, can't. I was like, fucking get him.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
And then you've gotten out the car. You should put
a child. A child. It's not even funny. It's not
even funny because I'm thinking to myself, hang on, hang on,
she's just had a surgery.
Speaker 6 (40:52):
She's bleeding from downstairs. They put you in a naptun
hang on, she can't be she wrote, nap I know,
and I'm going to get this guy. You want to
hit and run us?
Speaker 1 (41:04):
You really want to fucking know what we're going through
right now? Not today, not today. So that I've gone
hang on, I've had to put the car and park,
get out the car, get you back in the car.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
I know, instead of yelling at him, your consolate thing
like a little like I'm a demensia patient at the
elderly home.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Come on, let's that's what it felt like. I felt
like I was. Yeah, I feel like I was dealing
with someone that has just been you know, you were
very vulnerable and then how to go from vulnerable to
ready to attack?
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Mate, switch baby straight into attack mode? Final flight, I fight,
I know, flying.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
You you went straight from blue, you jump straight from
you jump the purple, so purples in between, you went
straight to red.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
I was some fire.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
I remember coming back in the car and said, tell
you you can't do that.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
You've just had an operation. I said, where can he?
You didn't run us? How is that fair? I was,
I'm like, hey, this year and I remember you said.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
I remember saying, cops, color, cops down, because if I'm
not allowed to do with this.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Someone asked, you know you run over. You were saying
that you and like, you're probably we never watched this movie.
Oh yeah, Fast and Furious, the first one. I don't
have playing fucking cars flying to and back. I don't
have that.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
What's his Nameane always Brian.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
He he shoots and kills it and kills someone lovely
and he starts screaming to do you? And I was
like when you were saying that, I was like, you
can't attack anyone right now.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
You're blady Bless you though, because you did call the
cops on me. Just shut yeah, And I was it
was on speaker, and You're trying to talk to them,
calm and I'm.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Going tell them, tell them, tell them. And I've recorded
I recorded his car. I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
And I said, I need to find someone that has
the technology where you put the N plate in and
it tells you their address.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
I remember saying to you.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
I'm gonna fucking find someone for the last thing I do.
And I remember we came home and I had a nap.
When I woke up like five hours later, say, did
that really have it? Check it out of the car
and a nappy?
Speaker 1 (43:17):
You're crazy, mate, you are. These twins are going to
be exactly like that baby hate. People think I am
gonnauck when I'm on the footy field your next level.
Where do you get it from?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
Mate?
Speaker 1 (43:28):
You learn everything from me. It's look, I'm taking it out.
You're giving it to me at home, and I'm taking
it on in the field.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
It was bad timing and I do suffer from a
really bad road rage because I feel like.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Driving is personal. It's really fucking personal.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
If you don't if I let you in and you
don't do the courtesy wave, you're blacklisted.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
And I'm fucking god your number plate.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Because that's rude and out of all days, you want
to do that to me. You want to just swear
our car and take the freaking side mirror off And I'm.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Not going to do anything. Nappy or no nap, I
don't care how old you are. Happy girl superhero name.
By the way, we did get the mirror fixed, yes we.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Did, of course, because you can't really drive with one mirror,
with one mirror of any who.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
That's just to be good to the nature of this life,
isn't it that would only happen to us.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Just when you think you hit rock bottom, something else
fucking files on.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
It goes not yet, hone, you can handle more. Have
this as well, take your side, mirror.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
But I remember we got Dante's pizza that night and
that was amazing. Yes, truffle oil, it's my favorite.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
A good meal always kind of makes everything for a
little bit better in the moment. It absolutely does. A
good meal and a sausage dog. I STI find that
who is the best.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
When we started recording this month ago, my face was
much more put together. I can't get botox either, so
I've started a really bad time.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
It's beautiful. Thank you any who, Thank you. It's been
a great it's been a great day film episode two.
But I think it's just time to call it. So
it's a mother from me, It's it's a chow from me,
chow boy. What else can we say? Live? Laugh, last
(45:14):
the chance may face. Thank you for tuning in. Montoy's
are out
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