All Episodes

December 6, 2024 36 mins

Parents nationwide have one question on their minds this time of year - how on earth they can get their kids out of the house and off their devices once school finishes up for the year. 

Also, are parents teaching their children how to be over-consumers and materialistic by over-gifting at Christmas, and what is the limit when it comes to presents? 

LISTEN ABOVE

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
It'd be.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
The news had come out in the First World War,
bloody rasp barn s flying once more, the Allied command
ignored all of his men and calling on Snoopie to
do it again.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Was the night for Christmas?

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Fort in Bugo with Snoopy went up in search of
his phone, spying Rad Baron seriously. Then bot I saw
his wings and knew.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
It was Trastmas.

Speaker 4 (00:44):
Well for this Christmas, ask me so, and.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
I had to write to the k chain saidn't I yeah,
And welcome back to the shott This is Weeking Click.
I'm Tim Beverage and this is the Parent Squad and
this feels like an appropriate Christmas song. And I can
tell how much my producer Tira, if we could just
have TV cameras on the show, we'd turn them all
around and you'd see Tyra's face when she plays one
of her favorite Christmas ones and she's just so happy,

(01:23):
just the happiest person in NZ ME right now. And
in fact, my guest, who I'm Vater introduced, said, this
is the first time I've heard that tune because with
Christmas music December. The first rolls around and you start
playing a bit, but there are some that you save
for closer to Christmas. And I'm not sure and it's
I don't know. I think closer to Christmas, I would
probably roll out Snoopy's Christmas. It's the first time I've

(01:44):
heard it, and it goes on forever. We could pretty
much just check out and we'll leave Snoopy's Christmas rolling
until six o'clock. But it wouldn't be much of a
parent squad and in fact, interrupting Snoopy's Christmas is She's
the founder of Young and Healthy Charitable Trust, and her
name is Kim Harvey. Today, Kim, how are you going?

Speaker 5 (02:02):
I got Tim? Thanks you all Christmas?

Speaker 2 (02:04):
You look you look very Christmasy and summary and bright
hearted and pushy tail summary.

Speaker 5 (02:08):
Yeah definitely.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Well, actually you don't got Christmasy. To be good Christmas,
you'd have to be having or something.

Speaker 6 (02:14):
I know.

Speaker 7 (02:15):
I missed the boat on that today, didn't I it's.

Speaker 5 (02:18):
All right with the program.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Are you are you a Christmas person?

Speaker 5 (02:21):
I love Christmas?

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Did you always love Christmas?

Speaker 6 (02:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (02:25):
Yeah, I always love Christmas.

Speaker 7 (02:26):
I love the whole ritual of putting up the Christmas tree,
and I'd put the music on. And I remember, you know,
as I got older and I had my own little
home and that sort of thing, it was always, you know,
put the music on and maybe have a little glass
of bubbles, and even if I was on my own.
But then, obviously, when you have kids, it's a whole
nother kind of level of fun, and you know, you
find different things that you do and different rituals that

(02:47):
you have.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
And because I can't remember why, but I went through
a period obviously as a child loved it, loved setting
up the tree, artificial tree. It's wherever you're born with,
doesn't it. You either have real or artificial. Used to
love setting up, love the Christmas lights and all that
and presents, and and then I went through a stage
of I don't think I loathed Christmas, but I was

(03:10):
incredibly indifferent to it. And then what caused that probably
just I don't know. It's felt like a time where
there's so much expectation to a lot of things, and
I sometimes felt that Christmas, the expectations of Christmas, got
in the way of people enjoying it. And I'd grown
out of it, and then I had kids. You know, married,

(03:31):
and then you have children, and my kids love Christmas
so much and family and things like that that I'm
back on board with it, which is just as well,
because what sort of dad would I be if it's like, ah,
your kids going on about Christmas? I couldn't care too
hurts about it? She kind of no, see, But I
think I think people who who are grinches in a way,
it's just that just need a doorway back into loving

(03:54):
it again. It's not actually necessarily their fault.

Speaker 5 (03:56):
No, of course, no, not at all.

Speaker 7 (03:58):
And there are all sorts of different reasons why, as
you just said, why people you get to that point
and if there is a lot of expectation around it,
you know, that desire to give everything to the kids,
and you know, then it can become obviously very stressful.
So it's probably just, you know, what we've done over
years has sort of peeled it right back to.

Speaker 5 (04:14):
Kind of just having some fun and you know, I know.

Speaker 7 (04:22):
There's always a few presents, but you know, not the
big massive number that there would have been maybe when
they were younger, and.

Speaker 5 (04:29):
And that kind of thing. So just a different approach.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Well, we won't ever talk about that actually too, because
there's so much. I think this is what I didn't
like about Christmas was the expectation about what you're supposed
to do and how much you're supposed to spend and
how you because I how you avoid Christmas on the
other side, being a lecture to your kids about it's

(04:53):
all about you know, there are people who are worse
off than I us, and and you lecture them into
this state of mind where it's like, oh my goodness,
Mum and dad, can we just have some fun and
get some presents? But finding that balance and everything they
want as well?

Speaker 5 (05:07):
Yeah, no, I agree.

Speaker 7 (05:08):
I agree, And it's and I think you just you
have to walk that path, don't you, because you get
to a point. I remember, you just reminded me of
a point where we as a family got quite stressed
out about Christmas and buying each other presents and making
sure we got the right things. And this was actually
before our children, and in the end we said, look,
what is this about. You know, we actually just want
to spend some time together because we don't really get
to do that. And maybe that's where you know, you

(05:30):
do the secret center or something different or just nothing
for a little while. You know, we didn't need anything,
but we just had maybe extra nice a nice bottle
of wine or you know something a little great dessert
that we don't normally have.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
The funny thing is the gift that I would have
thought I never wanted, you know, the gift for dad,
like socks and soap and things like that. You know what.
I literally on our secrets we're doing a secret center,
and I thought tim get into it because I'd normally
be like, secret center, Oh go on. I literally we
do it through our website, which keeps everyone anonymous, and

(06:04):
it says put what you want, and I said, believe
it or not. I actually quite like artisan soaps brilliant,
which makes me sound like the most boring person on earth.
But things, when you're grown up, if there's something you
really need in your life, if you're lucky enough to
be able to afford it, you buy it. So my
wife and I are bit like that. We we bought
each other or we've got a new food processor, and

(06:24):
it's our gift to each other because it was it
was you know, that's not a cheapenditure. But apart from that,
just give me socks and soap.

Speaker 5 (06:31):
Yeah, and soap.

Speaker 7 (06:33):
It's like you know it's nice. You can use it
in the bath or you can do it and it
reminds you of when you got it and who you
got it from.

Speaker 5 (06:40):
And the same as socks.

Speaker 7 (06:41):
You know, you get a pair of fun socks, you
put them on, you think about your kids who gave
them to you, or you get a smile from it.
So it actually is also an experience and have to
just be a plain old pair of socks.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
So the thing is I'm a bit possibly almost was
a bit grunchy because my kids are like, what do
we get Dad. It's like, darlings, I don't need anything,
Just get me socks and soap. And they're like, oh,
but you get that all the time. I can't believe
that I'm requesting the most the least wanted Chris, miss item.

Speaker 5 (07:06):
Oh, that's helpful.

Speaker 7 (07:08):
You know you might have another Christmas where you decide
that's something else she wants.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
By the way, it is quite a good I would
say as a non parenting expert that it is actually
a good parental thing to let your kids give you something. Actually,
because doing the whole I don't need anything has got
to be the most frustrating thing.

Speaker 4 (07:24):
Isn't it.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
Exactly, well you want for Christmas?

Speaker 3 (07:27):
Me?

Speaker 2 (07:27):
I don't want to not buying it for you, but
come on, come on.

Speaker 5 (07:32):
I would like Gosh, that's actually a really good question.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Well see, this is how unfocused on the self you are.
You are in a state of no.

Speaker 7 (07:41):
I've thought, no, I know what I'd love. My kids
are quite creative, and I just.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Love Are they listening.

Speaker 5 (07:48):
Well, Sash, are you listening?

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (07:49):
I think she said she was going to, wasn't she?

Speaker 2 (07:51):
I'm pretty sure she is.

Speaker 5 (07:52):
Actually I love it when.

Speaker 7 (07:53):
They make me things, you know, like for your birthday,
if they make you a card, that's actually or they
they take the time to make something for you, then
that's actually really lovely. And I have boxes literally of
stuff that they've made me over the years. My mum
makes beautiful books as well and photos, and so they
get a lot of that lovely creativity from Nana, and
you know, they she makes beautiful things and you keep
them and you look back on them, and so I

(08:14):
really like that when they take that time to sort
of think about what might be a nice thing to want.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
One If Sasha's listening now, she's going, don't give me
a job to do. I have to make you something.
I just want to go and buy your something. That's
the thing. As a kid, it's like, just make me something. No,
it sounds like homework work.

Speaker 5 (08:32):
Yes, you can write me a song. Sasha can.

Speaker 7 (08:36):
Sasha can make me something with all her beads that
she already has done.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
I'll do some work on it in the break and
we'll broadcast it. I'll broadcast it after the break. But
actually under serious things, yeah, well it's not We're not
gonna be too serious. Were talking about Christmas, But what
role does gift giving play in your view when it
comes to Christmas? And I mean, I know we've got
you on as a parenting expert, but also just you

(09:00):
reckons as a human being because I think you know,
as we say, if you give your kids everything and
then they need everything they want as opposed to everything
they need, then I'm not sure that that's a great thing.
They end up not necessarily valuing. You get the child
who's been desperate for one thing and they finally get
it and they treasure it as opposed to kids who
are bathed in gifts are sort of like, I'm not

(09:22):
sure if it's you know, the greatest sort of the
greatest gift you're giving them by giving them too many.

Speaker 7 (09:28):
Yeah, and I'm not a parenting experty. Then I've got
my own and I work with lots of kids and parents.

Speaker 5 (09:33):
But I don't know.

Speaker 7 (09:34):
I think that you're right. I think that giving lots
and lots of stuff, And again just from what I've seen,
you know, the kids, they get a whole bunch of
stuff and they're bored with it in five minutes, or
they're looking for the next thing, or they love the boxes.
You know how many of our kids when they were
younger just loved the boxes more than they love the gifts.

Speaker 5 (09:48):
Anyway.

Speaker 7 (09:49):
And there's a lot of talk about you know, experiences
and giving in experience as opposed to giving a present,
an actual physical present. Because I was thinking as I
was driving in here, you know, some of the holidays
or some of the things that I did with my
mum and dad at the time I may not have
necessarily wanted to do. I remember them all, you know,
I remember so much of what we did as a family,
whether it was you know, going to own bosi end,

(10:12):
or whether it was going and visiting a lake somewhere
and going on a high cour you know, just those
sorts of things and the stories and the things that
we did and the things we talked about. So and
that was a long time ago for me, So I
think there's a lot to be said for that not
that long ago, thanks to him.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Actually would love to hear from you about how do
you approach Christmas and the spirit of giving without it
becoming something that has a negative feeling to it, because
I don't know, you're caving to the pressure of your kids,
what your children would like, and maybe they've got their
expectations or a bit above what your budget might allow.
How do you manage that, but also how do you

(10:47):
manage the whole materialization of Christmas without it sort of
I don't know, losing the way somehow. We'd love your
cause eight hundred and eighty ten eighty because actually you
touched on something there come just about Christmas itself in
terms of what you remember, and I do remember, I
don't actually necessarily I did get some pretty cool presents.

(11:07):
I was pretty lucky. I think my parents had an
overseas holiday and they went to Hamley's and I did
have a couple of cool presents I thought was so cool. Yeah,
funny enough. One of my friends. Still remembers one of
them because I got a frog that actually swam in
the bath. Oh, I mean, I think that's about about
five or six years old, and when I met him
about twenty. I caught up with him about ten years later.

(11:28):
We ended up going to secondary school together and said,
I remember you, you got a frog that swam in
the bath. It wasn't the height of it wasn't the
height of consumerism. But actually interesting is to the things
that will stick with kids though. In terms of gifts. Yeah,
was there anything that you remember getting when you were
a chip?

Speaker 5 (11:46):
Hmmm? I remember getting a Barbie.

Speaker 7 (11:49):
Actually, I know that's really you know, but at the
time they didn't you couldn't get them in New Zealand
and my auntie lived in Australia and so I think
Mum and Dad got one sent over And I wasn't
really a big dull girl, but it was something I
really really.

Speaker 5 (12:01):
Getting And I know that's probably very und no.

Speaker 7 (12:08):
Ken as well, no, no, no, it's just Barbie.

Speaker 5 (12:12):
But yeah, it was always that.

Speaker 7 (12:13):
It was usually the things that we did, so it
was the you know, having a big barbecue with all
the family.

Speaker 5 (12:18):
I was staying in the caravan when.

Speaker 7 (12:19):
I was a kid at my grandparents and we always
had to have the caravan, we all, you know, because
it was so many of us, and we'd all get
together and the but Christmas tree and granted a big center,
and you know, those kinds of things. And so I
can't remember what what I got, what presents I got,
But you know, I just remember being there with all
my cousins and the noise and the Nana's home baking,
and the music and the singing, and the Christmas crackers

(12:41):
and you know, some of the silly things. And Christmas
crackers are always entertaining if you can get if you
have Christmas crackers at lunch.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
It is funny though, when you when I when I,
when you conjure up what your memories of Christmas are?
And as I asked the question, I was thinking to myself,
what do I remember about it? And I think it
was There's about three things. One was Mum used to
hide the presence up in a suitcase in a cupboard
that you had to get a step ladder for, and

(13:09):
we used to. We never used to. They've always already
wrapped and we learned where they were. One of my
brothers and I and we used to just because we
wanted to open up to see I don't know, the
wrapping paper, just to see them, because it was like, oh, there,
they are separate to Santa's presence, of course. But and
one day we got up and we slid open the

(13:30):
cupboard and there was a big baggage take boldly written
keep out Nosey Parker's and we almost fell off the ladder.
We thought, how does she know that we know? It's
not funny. That's one of my mates. And the other
one was just the fact that we used to go
to bed and we'd always wake up in the middle
of the night and the lights would be on and
the presence had magically arrived. I don't remember what was
in them. I just remember it. I just remember the

(13:51):
sparkle and the atmosphere that something magic had happened. And
that's what I remember. It's so cool, and maybe that's
something I need to remind us. Mind, dear kids, they
probably will get a little sport just because we co
aldore them, But we want to have from you on
I wait, one hundred and eighty ten eighty, how do
you handle the expectations around Christmas? And you know what,
there are a lot of people that you know that

(14:12):
we could get into the economics of it all, but
job losses and a lot of people who are doing
it tough. They're still stuck on a high mortgage rate
or the cost of rent and things. And maybe you
can't give you your kids the material Christmas that they need.
How do you give them a Christmas that they will remember?
And what's special for you? We'd love to hear your
stories about it, because you know what every parent right now,

(14:32):
I mean, as we heard from Nicole Lewis when she
came here, she was like getting here because of the
Christmas shopping traffic. The pressure is on.

Speaker 5 (14:38):
Yeah, it really is.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
So we like your calls. Eight hundred eighty ten and
eighty text nine two nine two. And my guest is
Kim Harvey. She's the founder of Young and Healthy Charitable Trust,
and we'll have a little bit of a chat about
what that does as well, because it's always good to
highlight some of the good work people are doing in
the community. Eight hundred eighty ten eighty. It's twenty one
and a half past five. My welcome back to the

(15:19):
Weekend Collective. This is the Parent's squad Kim Harvey. She's
a founder of Young and Healthy Charitable Trusts with us,
we're talking about dealing with Christmas presents, you know, to
avoid teaching Look, this is the question, how do you
avoid teaching your kids bad lessons about over what's the
word over consumption or material you know, the over materialization

(15:39):
of Christmas? How do you deal with that? And especially
if you can't literally can't afford it anyway? Oh wait,
one hundred eighty ten eighty text nine two. Let's take
some calls. Margaret.

Speaker 6 (15:48):
Hi, Hi, I'm just thring. I'm over eighty now. And
all I wanted for several years when I was a child,
Birthdays and Christmas was a jack in the box.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Well, I'm actually jack Jack's do you say Jackson boxes
or jack in the boxes? Anyway?

Speaker 6 (16:06):
It was used to put them down then you open.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
I know what it is. I was just wondering what
the plural of jack in the boxes and Jackson.

Speaker 6 (16:14):
Jackson boxes wasn't My own daughter was little and I
was Christmas shopping for her and I found one and
I had to buy it.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
And did she like it?

Speaker 6 (16:28):
Yes? But I liked it more.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
I think Actually I tend to think probably giving your
children the gift that you want is always a bit fie.
But that sounds quite funny.

Speaker 6 (16:37):
Actually this was years later, quite.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
An old fashioned gift, aren't they the old Jack in
the box with kids? Yes, think of that these.

Speaker 6 (16:46):
Days, but but it was That's what we mass sticks
in my mind.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
How many presents did you used to give or get
at Christmas time?

Speaker 6 (16:56):
But I'll tell you what we always did get was
an orange and a banana. Wow, at the bottom of
the stocking.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
Is that a true oranges and bananas at bottom of stockings?

Speaker 5 (17:07):
When orange is enabled, you know you couldn't.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Get them good stuff, good stuff, Margaret, Jack jack in
the box. I don't know if you if you can
buy Jack in the box these days must be somewhere anyway.
You actually had some thoughts around ideas for presents and
stuff like that.

Speaker 7 (17:23):
Yeah, well I was thinking, and I was listening to
some stuff too, because I want to do something a
little bit different from my kids too, because you know,
at the end of the day, they probably got everything
that they kind of need. But there were some really
neat ideas and there were.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
Things like I'll just get you to keep your microphone
just there so we don't slide away from it too much,
all right.

Speaker 7 (17:40):
One of them that I really liked for Christmas was
doing a treasure hunt. So actually, and Sasha, hope you're
not listening, but to do a treasure hunt, because you.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
Know, I think she's listening. She did actually text and say, Mum,
what frequency is the radio program?

Speaker 7 (17:51):
So but she doesn't know what I'm going to hide
or how I'm going to do it. But yeah, so
I guess if you've got children old enough, they can
do it too. They could do it for your presence.
But it's actually giving a series of clues as to
where that your present is hiding wherever you're you're having Christmas.

Speaker 5 (18:09):
And that's so that could be quite fun.

Speaker 7 (18:10):
So it actually turns the day into a bit of
an event, as opposed to you get all the presents
and then you're done and then you sort of, you know,
sit down and eat and lie on the floor and
try and play with your toys a bit or something.
But you know, it could be could be quite fun
to do a treasure hunt and actually make it a
do some clues and go hey and then the next
one needs another clue, and kind of thing.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
The tradition of Christmas stocking used to be that was
your presence, wasn't it the Christmas stocking? For some people,
that's just the in fact confession trade. That's just the
entree they have, the Christmas stocking, and then then the
main actor is later on. I'm not in charge of
the Christmas shopping.

Speaker 7 (18:47):
Yeah, that's right exactly. But I mean that's the thing,
isn't it. You can you can do a number of
presents if that's what you want to do.

Speaker 5 (18:54):
But if you do sort of some.

Speaker 7 (18:55):
DIY stuff, Like there was some little DIY kit ideas,
like things like if your child likes to paint their
nails or those kinds of things, you do little pampering
kits or creative packs. Like I said, Sash loves doing
arts and crafts, so you know, putting together a DIY
pack where she can make things over the holidays is
you know, is a nice thing to do as well,

(19:15):
because it gives us something to do ongoing, not just
the present real so really can create that from op
shops and that kind of thing.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
I think it's worth remembering that. I think kids, I'm
not sure how much kids can I think if kids
really care about the materialization or the consumerism of Christmas,
then probably that you haven't got it right in the
first place. And look, I was very lucky Mummy used
to Mum used to give us great Christmases. And but

(19:45):
one of the as we've been doing this, having this conversation,
I just suddenly recalled to me one of my favorite
presents over got was literally what Mum did was grab
get my brother's bike who he had been he had
moved on to another one, and she literally repainted it.
She just got and she painted it and it became
my bike and that was the it was. That was

(20:07):
the best present ever. And it was just the fact
that she'd and in fact, I don't know. I think
I knew that she had repainted it because I saw
a bit would reflectant she painted at banana yellow or something,
and I thought that was the coolest thing ever, and
I knew it was secondhand. But isn't it so just
highlights that kids don't really care as long as you've
given putting some thought into it, and then something that's fun.

Speaker 5 (20:30):
Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 7 (20:31):
And if you value people putting thought into any sort
of thing that you're given, then that's also a way forward.

Speaker 5 (20:38):
Isn't it is.

Speaker 7 (20:38):
That's how we do things in our family, so it
doesn't necessarily have to be bright and Johnny.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
And you the one about actually on somebody's responded on
the text about buying your kids something that you really want,
and this is one that says when I was six
and my sister was four, the PlayStation two had just
come out, and my dad bought it for us for Christmas.
There was one game of horse riding and the other

(21:05):
games were all fast and furious racing games. So I think, Dad,
I mean, that's a win. That to me is possibly
a win win.

Speaker 7 (21:13):
Possibly have happened in our house once or twice. Really
the same sort of thing, a PlayStation. I remember that one.
I remember them, but we did it the other way around.
I remember it wasn't a Christmas. It was my dad's birthday,
and we all it was sort of Saturday night Fever
Times and we loved that record, so we bought that
record and then but we also at the time we
didn't have a stereo. We actually were able to buy
him a stereo, but then we could all use that,

(21:34):
so it was it was a win win. I don't
know that he necessarily wanted it.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
But yeah, I'm just trying to think there's the anything
i'd buy my kids which I could actually use probably
the place actually, I'll be honest, I don't think there's
a parent around who wouldn't dress up a PlayStation as
a gift for their kids when they know that well
they actually did go for the latest version of it
with the highest spec And really that's for moment, I'm

(21:57):
being sexist here, but I tend to think that the
PlayStation thing is going to be more something that Dad's
going to monopolize, isn't.

Speaker 7 (22:02):
It is it could be you can play all sorts
of games on those as well, though we have old
or we no no no games, I mean like active games.
So we're going to talk about, you know, getting kids
active over the holidays.

Speaker 5 (22:14):
But that's another way we used to.

Speaker 7 (22:16):
We play tennis, and there's golf, and there's volleyball, and
there's all those sorts of things, so you know, you
can kind.

Speaker 5 (22:20):
Of mix it up.

Speaker 7 (22:21):
It's not just the fast and furious games.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Well that's the thing about the Christmas holidays. With something
else we're going to touch on is keeping kids busy.
It seems to me that with Mum and Dad both working,
and just about every household these days. We're I was
growing up, I think probably the number of double income
households was probably quite small. But these days mum and

(22:44):
dad both work and just finding things to keep your
kids entertained and play groups and things like that. It's
actually the school holidays are not as straightforward as they
might have been thirty or forty years ago.

Speaker 7 (22:57):
I think, yeah, exactly, And that's it, isn't it, Because
it's not just the expense of Christmas this day itself,
but there's the there's all of those six weeks for
some even longer, you know, with kids finishing earlier because
of exams and things, so this actually sometimes longer.

Speaker 5 (23:10):
So it's you know, what are you doing?

Speaker 7 (23:11):
And so I guess, you know, tying in some of
those things into Christmas gifting that can help to give
kids things that they're going to do over the holidays
is really helpful. So it's not just about that sort
of one day. Actually, something I was going to just
touch on with Christmas presents, but was like a coupon
type thing, like a coupon book where you could write
down all sorts of different ideas of things that you

(23:33):
could give the children, but over the hot pro progression
of the holidays, and they could choose something out of that,
and you know, some of them might be We're going
to go to the park at somewhere. There's some fabulous
new playgrounds that are being created all around the country.
So you know, you could be go and spend a
day at a playground that does certain things, and you
could have a lunch and take a picnic, and so
you could create coupons for as Christmas presents. But that

(23:55):
became the things that you then potentially did over the
holidays on the days that you maybe can with the family.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
Actually, that's one of the things that has evolved over
the past you know, decade or who is The playgrounds
are so, I mean there's some amazing playgrounds around the country.

Speaker 5 (24:10):
There are.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
The one that first comes to mind for me was
I don't know if it was because it was part
of the consent process that the developers had to put
a playground in, but in fact, I think unfortunately that
there were neighbors who didn't like the flying Fox because
there was too much noise and it got shut down
after a while. But there was a flying fox and
all sorts of swings and roundabouts, and there's some amazing playgrounds,
aren't they.

Speaker 7 (24:30):
Yeah, there are, Yeah, I think I remember one of
the first ones that was quite different was the Margaret
may He Want Margaret may.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
He play in christ Church is fad I.

Speaker 7 (24:39):
Guess when they started the redevelopment of the city center
and that sort of kicked things off with the water
play and all of that kind of thing. And then
we lived in a Viicago and they did a very
similar thing in Queen's Park and the playground there, and
then you know, there's this whole new regeneration around kids
playing and how play helps learning and risky play and
all that kind of thing. So we're seeing a huge,
huge focus on redevelopment playgrounds and also multi generational play

(25:02):
options so that you can go as a whole fam
and take the picnic and basically spend a day there,
you know, and everybody has the something for everyone. So
some quite neat stuff being done.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
I think the other question is around you've just got
a trun and get your kids off those devices as well,
And that's yeah, I mean, that's the problem is it's
the sort of path of least resistance, isn't it When
when mum and dad are under stress, of course, and
you really do want to avoid that, don't you.

Speaker 5 (25:26):
Yeah, you definitely, you definitely do.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
Any point is what would your what are your thoughts
around that? I mean, if your kids, I mean, I
don't know how much, Yeah, twelve and fourteen. Yeah, how
do you approach devices and things in terms of because
it is it's so much easier said than done.

Speaker 5 (25:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Absolutely, my and my girls, I mean, I think when
they get a little bit older as well, that yours
and mine are probably at the age where they actually
can be very good advocates for why they should just
have that extra hour. Oh, absolutely their advice say that.
You know, I'm not sure I'm winning that battle yet.

Speaker 5 (26:00):
No, I agree.

Speaker 7 (26:01):
And sometimes, you know, as you say, I work from home,
and so you know often and my work time can
be just if I've got an idea, then I'll have
to go and work, you know, have to go and
work on it, but go and work on it. So
they will definitely play on that, and there are times
when it just that needs to happen.

Speaker 5 (26:16):
So you know, we've got to be realistic about it.

Speaker 7 (26:18):
But I think I guess one of the things is
have a plan through the holidays, and of course a
plan doesn't necessarily always come together, but if you've got
one where you've got some ideas around what you would
do and alternatively, so what can you do at home?
What are some of the easy things that you can
do at home? Do you have trees at home? Do
you have a driveway? Do you have a back garden?
Do you have a trampoline, do you have a host?

(26:38):
You know that you can have water fights and things?
Are the things that you can do so that you
could maybe set a time schedule and say every forty
five minutes, we're going to stop what we're doing and
we're going to go and get active. We're gonna go
and move, We're going to run up and down the driveway,
or we're going to skip, or we're going to go
and pull some weeds out of the garden or you
know those kinds of things. So have you got things
at home that you can do without necessarily having to

(26:59):
buy anything new? What about in your neighborhood? You know
the places you can walk to that might be the
park or the beach or the playground or something like that,
so that you can, you know, and it's just setting
those timers, I think to remind.

Speaker 5 (27:11):
All of us because we all need to.

Speaker 7 (27:12):
If we're working, it's really important for us to stop
and take those regular breaks and move anyway so we
can all benefit from it. So it's probably the plan first,
and that's kind of what I'm what I'm working on
for these next six ways really long.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
Actually, are you drawing up a plan for your I
mean how organized do you try and keep it in
your household?

Speaker 5 (27:29):
Well? I like to try to.

Speaker 7 (27:31):
I have probably a couple in my family who are
relatively disorganized and like doing things off the cuff. They
know who they are, they know who they are. Yeah, yeah,
the number two children and the number one children, we're
all different. But yeah, So it's obviously having a plan
helps you kind of at least know that you need
to do these things and makes you able to make

(27:55):
it happen, you know. And so I know it's not
always going to work. But so if we sit down
together as well, that's another way to do it is
get them involved, if they're old enough, you know, get
them involved and get them having some years of their
own because it'll be favorite things that the kids would
love to do, and it might be that you need
a bit of budget for that. It might be I mean,
Sasha loves Kelly Tarltans and that changes, you know, reasonbly regularly.
Maybe we go and do that every couple of years.

(28:16):
So that might be a big thing that we do
for a day in Auckland, is that we go to
Kelly Tarltan's and we say, right, we'll put some budget
into that. But then you know, what are the other
things that we can do around that that are you know,
she wants to do more of her art. She loves shops,
so we might do an op shop day where we gone,
you know, hunt around and have a little.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
Budget, and you know, the thing that comes out is
that you know, you do need to take a bit
of if you can. You really do need to take
time off as well. I mean the idea sure chuse,
I mean there'd be parents have to work through and
all that sort of stuff, and that does contain its
own pressures. But really, the thing I've found during the
course of the year as well as I've often tried

(28:53):
to multitask when I'm looking after the kids. Yeah, so
I'll have my laptop and i might be doing something
and then before i know it, I'm that irritable parent
and so I just put it away. Now, I just
go right, yeah, but it's actually it's easy to do,
but it's really difficult to break that habit. You just
literally have to go, you know what, it'll whatever it is,

(29:14):
it'll keep the sky won't caven.

Speaker 5 (29:16):
Correct, Yeah, famaus wise words.

Speaker 7 (29:18):
Well, I think that's the thing though, isn't it is
that we need to model the behavior. And we talked
about this last time we meet. We need to model
the behavior that we want to see in them. So
if we're saying to them, and my kids call me
up on it, because I'll always be searching for ideas
and different things, so I can be looking at stuff
that might be related to what I do for my work,
but it's still using a device. And they're quite rightly
saying to me, hey, well if you on us off

(29:39):
ours and it's not okay that you sit here with yours,
and I'm like, you know what, fair cop, So we've
got to you know this, And that's why I guess
having a plan really helps because at least you're conscious
of it. It doesn't mean you're going to stick to
it one hundred percent, but it gives you some some
prep first as well.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Well, I'll actually explain to my kids as well, because
for instance, I'm going to be working doing the Breakfast
show over for a month and that means I'm going
to have to keep in touch with the news. But
i will say to my kids, if you see them
on my phone, it's because I'm reading, and I'll show them.
I'll even tell them what the websites are. I'll say, look,
I'm looking at news for the next hour or so,
and that's what I'm going to be doing. If you

(30:15):
catch me playing a game, unless it's duo lingo, which
is permitted, meaning another language. But yeah, look, we'd love
to have your cause on that. But also the question
we started the show talking about the gift giving thing,
and there is there is here's one way of approaching
it because there's the what's called the essentials list, something
to wear, something to read, something they want, and something

(30:36):
they need, which does sound well, that's that's still four gifts,
but it's a nice starting point. Well, come back in
a moment when want your calls though, how do you
approach everything to do with Christmas? Managing your kids times
but also their expectations around consumerism, and all that. Oh wait,
one hundred eighty ten eighty, it's twenty minutes to six
news talks. He'd be welcome back to the weekend collective.

(31:35):
This is the parent Squad. I'm not sure how I
rate The Little Drummer Boys as a Christmas song. My
producers look at me with shocked, sort of shocked expression,
But yeah, I don't know. It's one of those ones
that's you. You sort of feel maybe you should play
it at Christmas. But I can't think of anything less interesting.
I'm sorry, Tyre is not very everywhere that Do you

(31:56):
like the Little Drummer Boy as a as a song?
Kim Kim Harvey.

Speaker 7 (32:00):
Honestly, I was an a choir when I was young,
and I loved Christmas for the choir because we go
around all the shopping malls and singing the shopping malls,
and so I just actually loved any Christmas Carol because
I just love singing it.

Speaker 5 (32:12):
So I'm not against.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
It fair enough. I think it's you know, once you've
heard the first verse or two, then you've sort of yeah.
Then again, if it's a good orchestration, something in the
orchestra and choir and all that. I guess it's probably hard.

Speaker 5 (32:25):
To be What are you singing soon?

Speaker 2 (32:27):
I'm doing a few old heavy stuff for me, little Christmas,
the Christmas song, you know. Actually, one of the non
Christmas songs that I'm doing is Louis Armstrong's What I
Wonderful World, because it's just such a I think that's
one of my favorite songs.

Speaker 5 (32:39):
Real lovely wallg. Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 6 (32:42):
Just on the.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Christmas shopping thing, have you heard of that essentials list
of for your kids of something to wear, something to read,
something they want, and something they need? Does? I think
that's probably quite a good list for anyone.

Speaker 7 (32:59):
I think it's fantastic. A girlfriend of mine very different
in One and Them v Cargo, she does that for
her kids and she always tells me she less soft,
how you know, what she's got for each of her
children in those categories. And I love it because I
think it also, you know, like if you are a
bit stretched for a budget, it helps you give them things,
you know, like you were talking about socks earlier. But
you know, it's like sometimes it's actually really good to

(33:20):
give them something they need because you're going to have
to do that anyway.

Speaker 5 (33:23):
But you know, what I mean. So I think it.

Speaker 7 (33:25):
Yeah, I really like it, and I love the something
to read obviously, I think that's golden.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
Yeah, so something they want? Sorry, what is it? Here?
We go? Something to wear? Tick, because there's always something
you need for kids to wear. So Sasha, you're getting
something to wear. I'm sure. I'm pretty pretty sure on that.
You're probably going to get something to read. Sasha as well,
I'm very surely. I'm sure you're going to get something
you want, although that might be the one you might
be a little nervous about. Now it's like, oh, I'm
going to give me do like it?

Speaker 5 (33:50):
That's what you're getting doing?

Speaker 2 (33:51):
No, does she want to do? I like it?

Speaker 5 (33:52):
I don't know. Maybe Okay, things are what I put
in it.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
And something they need. Maybe they need a do I
like it? Here's the thing though, what about what about coaching?
I mean, these lessons must come earlier, but kids on
disappointment because they'll have aunties and uncles and stuff, and
they'll get a present and they'll be like, how to
I'm not sure how you can teach kids to react

(34:15):
gracefully at Christmas time? You need to do those lessons
probably set the basis for that years before, don't you.

Speaker 7 (34:22):
Well, that's kind of the joy and pleasing the cruse
of kids, isn't it. They're very honest and so you know,
do you want them to not?

Speaker 2 (34:30):
What was the unwanted gift when you were when you
were growing up.

Speaker 5 (34:33):
The soap and socks?

Speaker 2 (34:34):
Really, Yeah, gosh, I've come the full circle because to me,
it'd be so proud after that. We used to when
I grew up. There was a time back, but this
is before digital cameras, when films camera films, and when
you got your developing done, you got a free film.
And for a while, my brothers and I used to
give each other a free film and we all knew
that they'd got it for nothing, and it was always

(34:54):
and it became the Booby Prize present for years and years.
You'd open something up and it'd be and if it
was worse to be the black and white film, you'd
be like, I don't even know how you got that.

Speaker 5 (35:04):
Oh my goodness, Yeah, that's the Booby Prize. Love it.

Speaker 7 (35:07):
But that's also isn't that a fun thing about Christmas
is that you can do stuff like that too, And
that's the whole kind of almost point of secret center
is that it can be quite goofy and quite fun
and just a bit quirky. And so I think, you
know again, taking that sort of approach to Christmas giving
is just a different way. It doesn't have to be
something big and expensive. It can just be something really
fun and you know, like some of the things that

(35:28):
are in the crackers, they are absolutely like who got
the worst thing in the cracker pack? Well, who got
the worst joke? And who got the worst?

Speaker 2 (35:37):
If I was to take anything from this hour, it's
actually the essentials list, something to wear, read, want and need. Yeah,
I think you've done your Christmas shopping yet.

Speaker 7 (35:46):
We keep it really simple, So no, I haven't yet.
I've got some ideas, but you know, we just pareing.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
Okay, Sasha, bad luck. I haven't managed to glean anything
for you. So but I hope you enjoyed listening to
your mum as well. Hey, time's flying. We've got to
get We've got the sports rap next. But thank you
so much.

Speaker 7 (36:02):
It's lovely to catch you again. And hey, have a
great fantastic answer this evening.

Speaker 5 (36:06):
Thanks us coming. It'll be lots of fun and lots
of joy.

Speaker 2 (36:08):
Merry Christmas.

Speaker 5 (36:09):
Dude, Yeah, same to you.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
Okay, we'll be back back in just a moment. Eleven
and a half minutes to six.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen live to news
talks it'd be weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

The Bobby Bones Show

The Bobby Bones Show

Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.

The Joe Rogan Experience

The Joe Rogan Experience

The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.