October 5, 2024 • 41 mins
We've got a bonus episode for Coast Breakfast listeners that we wanted to share with you today! Slow It Down with PJ Harding is designed to be a moment of me time for busy lives and a weekly dose of wholesome to inspire a grounded existence. If you like it, follow the show on iHeartRadio or wherever you listen to podcasts.
About the show:
Life is fast. Information is overwhelming. We seem busier and more anxious than ever. Introducing ‘Slow It Down’. A time to chill, wind down and join a space that inspires people to live authentically and slow it down. A hub for living more consciously and incorporating mindful practices and rituals in an achievable way. The aim is to showcase guests who have chosen to live a more balanced lifestyle mixed in with experts who offer tangible tips and tricks to feel a little more zen.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, it's Tony Jason Sam from the field. Good Breakfast
on Coast And before we listen to our podcast, something
a little bit different, and you might hear a bit
more of this from our wonderful team at iHeartRadio and
we're part of that family too. We're going to show
you a few different types of podcasts that you might
want to add.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
To your collection.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Yeah, and this one today. We love PJ Harding and
she started a podcast called Slow It Down. So essentially
what it is, it's trying to get a more grounded
existence and give you ideas on how you can get
a better lifestyle balance. And so she's going to have
a whole lot of guests who have chosen to live
a more balanced lifestyle and there'll be some experts and
the tangible tips and tricks so that you can live
(00:33):
a more zen life.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
So if you're looking for a moment of me time,
but a you time just to chill out and unplug
a little bit. The podcast is out now released every Sunday,
you listen to the podcast wind down over the weekend
get grounded. You can follow the podcast on iHeartRadio or
where every your podcasts from just look for Slow it
Down with PJ Harding Enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
With the Heads podcast Network. Hello and welcome to Slow
It Down.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
I'm your host, PJ Harding, and I've started this podcast because, well,
pretty selfishly, really, I feel like life is so busy.
Even though I live literally in the middle of nowhere
off Griz, surrounded by bush you'd think that you could
just quiet in the noise, But I still feel stressed.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I still feel overwhelmed.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I still feel that pressure of keeping up with what
everyone else is doing. And I want to carve out
some time every week to sit down and have really
conscious conversations with people who are also living busy lives.
And I want to pick their brains and work out
how they find peace and the chaos and what rituals
(01:46):
they do to stay sane. It's that simple. Every week
I'll have a new guest and hopefully we can be
inspired together. I don't want this to be a judgmental zone.
I want it to be a placed you can chill
out and listened to over the weekend. And I am
so excited to introduce my first guest on the.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Show, Zoe Marshall.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
We actually briefly work together back in the day when
she was working on Zidim and Auckland. She worked on
a show there for a while and then we sort
of just kept in touch over the years, and she's
gone on to.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Create some amazing podcasts.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
She created The Deep and then started a subscription called
The Deeper, and the conversations that she has had on
that podcast have been pretty heavy. She's talked to people
will parents that have been given a terminal diagnosis. She's
talked to ice attics, conscious sex workers, the list goes on.
(02:49):
She's not afraid to tackle a taboo topic. And more recently,
she's gone on to create a new platform called a Rise,
which helps people create the life that is he and
it's all about manifestation, but as she says, it's manifestation
a bit bitter, and she talks about her there's so
much more to it than just at being woo. There's
(03:10):
a lot of science to back up some of this stuff.
So I can't wait to pick her brain in this episode.
And I really hope you enjoying my chat with Sally.
Oh sorry, I've been so excited to catch up with you.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
It has been a while.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
I think the last time we talked, i'd just given
birth and I went through like a step by step
harrowing encounter of what happens.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
Yeah, you were there was a little bit of PTSD.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, yeah, So it's really nice to see your beautiful.
Speaker 5 (03:38):
Face again and you Howard's the baby.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
He's just gone to Wow, two years since I spoke
to you, it's crazy.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Yeah, you were living in the bush.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I am kind pretty much.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Yes, yes, though I work in the nearest town now
so I actually do a radio show.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Out of the local rural time. Harm is a twenty.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Minute drive look at you all set up?
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Truth of all.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
I'll run through what slow It Down is and kind
of the premise of this podcast and why I thought
you'd be a perfect for that. So basically, I think
since moving to the middle of nowhere, you know, I
had this expectation that life becomes slow and relaxed and
I'd be grounded.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
And the reality is, I'm still stressed.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Life still feels chaotic, and I have a beautiful life,
but it's so easy to not appreciate everything beautiful in
front of you. So I want to talk about tips
and tracks and ways to really feel like.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
You can make the most of the golden years.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
Oh my god, are we in the golden years.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I know, I no pressure.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
I feel like this is so aligned with where I
am at because I am very literally in a metamorphosis
of of wanting to have the experiences and wisdom of
like being an elder on a rocking chair, you know,
(05:10):
but like doing all of that now, like the pace,
the presence, the appreciation now. So I am every I'm
just I want to get rid of everything. I want
to get rid of, like a lot of my belongings.
I want to downsize everything in my life. I want
(05:32):
to just have my needs met and then be able
to do less. And I am like it already is happening.
And I think it all started with like I had
a quite quite a scary breast scare in June, and
that just shifts everything. And it's such a shame that
(05:53):
human beings need such a dire situation to wake them up,
but I did. And I just got back from two
and a half weeks in Europe and Dubai and literally
just sitting in the sun eating bread and butter and
olive oil, I was like, this is living. Obviously, it's
(06:18):
very different circumstances, but what if we could bring that
level I like to call it like the magic in
the mundane, like finding the miracles.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Stop it there.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
It's literally like one of my objectives, we objectives of
this podcast is finding magic in the mundane, or like
finding meaning in the mundane.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
Right, yeah, And I find like being in awe of
everything around us. So I think we have just been
really stripped of so much importance because of you know,
how distracted we are, how we've got these kind of
(06:59):
really quick dopamine hits all the time. We're not able
to focus in and slow down and appreciate the things
that we have. I created a whole new business. I
got rid of slowed down one side of my business
and started a new one which is all around this
and it's around manifestation, co creation mindset. But truly, like
(07:22):
it sounds like a riddle, but everything that we want,
if you are living as if you already have that thing,
and you're already feeling the way it would feel to
have the thing, then you already have the feeling you
would have it even if you got it. So it's
kind of like once you get all the stuff right,
(07:45):
Like I went really hard in my career and I
got the accolades and I got the fancy car, and
I got the fancy house, and I got the fancy things,
and then you're like, oh fuck, I didn't need any
of the fancy things, any of them. Yes, right now,
shut down all those businesses. Start something that feels like
in true service, which will also keep me accountable every
(08:08):
single day and just be able to meet life where
it's at and be able to practice in real time.
Like it's okay to become heady about all of this
and get into the education and do the YouTube and
be in the tutorials and join the courses. But unless
you're in complete chaotic insanity and you don't start to
(08:30):
bring the stuff in, there's no point. Like you're just
on the kind of little rat wheel. What do you
call it?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, that is the rat race.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
That's also another reason why I wanted to do this,
because I've bought so many self help books of my life,
and I know all the shit to do, but just
sometimes implementing it is kind of hard. And you're right,
it's so sad that we have to have like these
life awakening moments, you know, whether it's a family been
(09:00):
beginning really unwell, or you lose your house or whatever.
When people are really steered with what reality is. That's
when they're like, oh, fuck, I don't have long to
live and I need to live and I can't waste
another second, and.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
Like what am I doing?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (09:17):
And how am I eating? And how am I moving?
And how am I turning up for my family? And
how am I working? And like like we are just
in this autopilot of life happening to us, and no
one actually stops until you're forced to stop, which is
a health scare or a death or like a crumbling
(09:37):
and you're like, oh my god, I have to change.
I can't smoke anymore, I can't drink like I like
all of the things. But really, I guess what I'm
trying to teach my community at ARISE is like we
don't need to get to breaking point to change, Like
we can bring in really incredible mini habits to change
(09:59):
your life and it will change your life and you
can have these realizations now and not at seventy you know,
on the Rocking Chair. I feel like I'm very aligned
with your podcast.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Well, I was looking at some of your videos on
the RIZ page today and there was one that caught
my eye and it was so funny because this woman
was talking to you about the importance of starting your
day with something positive and how that will set you
up for a more positive experience.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Not necessarily bring you.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
More positivity, but you'll be more aware of the positive
things that happened to you. So I watched that video
and then that second I've got it into practice, right,
And I was like, okay, okay, you're right, because I
wake up in like a stressed mode, right, and I
know I should be more mindful. So I was like, Okay,
I'm gonna say the mantra, what if everything just worked out?
What if everything just works up? What if everything just
(10:49):
wiks at? And I keep saying that, and then no
shits away. I walk outside the house and there was
this rainbow just going over our house, like it was
the perfect rainbow, and I was like, I got it that,
oh my, And then it just stayed there for our
ages and I was like, okay, well, that in itself
is just one of those moments.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
And so there is science behind this, because my program
is backed by neuroscience. There's science behind starting your day
with a declaration, an affirmation, a positive headspace like it.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It It's not just were woolshit.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
No, it like impacts your rath system. Your ra system
is your reticular activation system. And what that does is
we are consuming so much information all the time as humans.
We are always scanning for information that makes us true
or safe. So if you wake up and you're like
(11:44):
life is hard, things are hard, and nothing works out
for me, your rath system is figuring out, Like I'm
sure there was something underneath that rainbow, like there was
a traffic jam or there was this or that was that,
and you were like, okay, but I see the rainbow
in the traffic jam, and I see the rainbow.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
In that moment, I was like, oh my god, because
I'm so guilty of just like back in the day,
I felt like I was bitter at embodying all these
things that I believed, like having all these retchalks. But
it's so easy to get caught back up in that
like will as you talk about, and I know there's
so many beautiful things that I miss out on. So
it was it was quite like a powerful moment where
(12:22):
I was like, you cannot afford to miss all of
this beauty and magic, because that's what it's all about.
Speaker 5 (12:29):
And we do become addicted very immediately to our to
do lists and our needs and our children's needs and
the work and like. But the thing is, which is
so funny and very humbling, is the world doesn't end
if you didn't do the grocery shop, or if the
(12:51):
child is late for school, or if you didn't have
as many talking points for the radio show. Like it
just doesn't. Like maybe eventually you'll lose your job if
you don't keep doing. But I think we start to lose.
We are putting things in a very important category that
aren't and we're putting ourselves and our mental health and
(13:14):
our movement and our conversations as like something at the
bottom of the barrel. When I've put the kids to
bed and I lay on the couch, I'm scrolling on
TikTok and watching a show at the same time. Like
it just we're responsible, And I don't think that anyone
can like victimize themselves because we all have the ability,
(13:36):
like we really do.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Okay, so give me some really great ways things that
we can do to weave into our day to encourage
that presence.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
I think, firstly, this isn't like a quick hit. This
isn't like winning the lotto, This isn't like a pyramid
scheme marketing thing we make keep some money, and like,
no one is going to do this for you, and
it is going to require commitment to yourself. But I
can tell you the people that we look up to,
(14:12):
the celebrities or the entrepreneurs or the billion dollar business people,
have such integrity with their routines to themselves. So I
say to everyone in the course, especially when you're starting,
get up thirty minutes before you usually do right. And
that's really hard if you've got kids and you're getting
(14:34):
up at five instead of five thirty, right, but go
to bed earlier and in that thirty minutes you have
the ability to create a declaration when you're in an
alpha state, that awake state right to program your rust system.
You can do some some I want to say Hubban users.
(14:57):
I want to say it's called like parai engazing, but
it's when you look out and you're kind of balancing
your circadian rhythm, which is going to really support your sleep.
You can either journal or meditate, whichever feels better for you.
Move and stretch, eat, Like if you do like two
of those six things, you're already setting yourself up right.
(15:19):
So when the kids get up. They're like on, they're
like ready, and you're going to be a better parent.
You're going to be more patient, You're gonna be able
to listen to them. They're having a tantrum because they
want the blue cup not the red cup. You're like,
I really understand, I get it. Fuck I really like
the red cup too. But you won't be just like
pulling them out the door. Yeah, oh maybe you will,
(15:39):
you know. But I think that starting your day for
yourself and allowing yourself to set intentions rather than the
day catch you up is really important. And then there
are a million other things that we can bring in,
Like you really got to be serious about what you're consuming.
(16:00):
How much what are you drinking? Are you a caffeinated
person and you're relying on stimulants? Are you getting your
nourishment in Like we're little like organisms. We need to
be fed and watered and slept. And I think it's
like looking at basics, are you moving every day? And
then like how do you see the world and what
(16:23):
are you doing so co creation, how I teach it
isn't wish for thinking that a ferrari is going to
end up at your doorstep just because you put it
on your vision board. It's like what am I doing today?
What actions am I taking to be magnetic to what
I want? And so like I had a real doozy
(16:46):
of a day on Thursday. It was like a fucking
doozy and horrendous jet lag. I hadn't slept at all,
bench had food poisoning. My nanny was off, one of
my fate favorite favorite teammates within the my business resigned.
(17:06):
A lawyer needed a very specific information from me. My
accountant wanted to have a really hard conversation. My dog
vomited and I couldn't. I couldn't. My daughter was like,
you know, like at me. And so it was a
real moment of like that doesn't just kick a person
(17:28):
into doing that, kicks you into like safety seeking, behavior
finding security. And I went into my my autopilot, which
is like fix everything now, like blinkers on, don't talk
to me. I'm going to solve all the world's problems
in this moment. And then my husband was like, you're
(17:52):
not okay. I was like, I'm really not okay. Like
a lot is happening, and we have this beautiful session.
We had this workshop within the community that night which
was such perfect timing, and within this workshop, I was
able to explore what it would look like if I
did things differently like that way of like tunnel vision,
(18:14):
getting everything done, fixing it all in one day and
stressing myself out. I've done for forty years, So what
would the other way look like. I saw benj my husband,
downstairs after this workshop, and I said, listen, I know
I was in a wild state when you saw me.
I need you to know that I'm going to practice
(18:34):
something and tomorrow I am not going to do anything
about those things I've already like literally shot off. I've
taken so much action today to put out ten fires.
But tomorrow I'm not going to chase like the fire engine.
I'm just going to allow the action that I've taken
(18:56):
to simmer and connect. I'm going to go to the.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Beach, nice beach.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
You take my daughter to the beach, and I am
physically going to take myself out of where I want
to be with fixing. And it was in those moments,
and that's what I said at the beginning of this,
which was when the shit hits the fan, what learnings
and what practices are you putting into place? Because we
(19:26):
go to the place we feel the safest. We don't
go to the place which we have the greatest growth.
And so I took my own advice and I went
to the beach and I did that stuff, and then
I realized, with a bit of space, you have a
bit of clarity that I was like, oh my god,
this colleague leaving is the best thing for us. And
(19:47):
it hurts because I love them, but you would never
have let them go. You would never and this is
holding the business back. What are you going to do?
And so now on Monday morning, I have three incredible
business strategists that are like the whole thing has just
come together because there's been space and I've done something
(20:10):
implemented the growth without kind of that habitual. You know,
I wanted wine. I wanted heaps of wine. I wanted
to eat heaps of chips, and I wanted.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
To did you do any of that or did you
just go to the beach.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
I just went to the beach and then I went
for a walk and it was like, this is so
fucked being woke, Like how boring. And then on the weekend,
I definitely had two glasses of red wine. That's me
being really wild and I've woken up today no jet
lag and just like I just am excited, like I
(20:45):
did all my practices this morning, I'm back.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
And only it doesn't have to You don't have to
spial for six months, hm, Like you can like do
this in a day.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
With manifestation.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
People often talk about not forcing, not forcing, not for saying, yeah,
you took a step back from there and you just allowed,
and then all of a sudden it was trust.
Speaker 5 (21:15):
Yeah, mantra. It was like let go let God, you know,
trust trust for us. But that's really hard for like
a control freak. Even as a manifestation master like you.
Still it's just a humbling experience because you never graduate
from this stuff. Your life is just impacted by different
situations and circumstances where you just keep leveling up and
(21:36):
it's a beautiful life, like it's an extraordinary life. But
what you see a success and what I see a
success and the person listening are so vastly different. And
I'm not playing the game anymore for whatever anybody else
thinks is successful. For me.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
God, I get so caught up in there, I really do,
and I think that I'm bigger than that or you
know mature enough to like see past it, but I
still compare myself to so many people, and I'm like,
why the hell am I comparing myself to her? I
don't actually want to be like her, but I'm still
comparing myself.
Speaker 5 (22:12):
But if you didn't want what she had, why are
you compare exactly?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I don't know, because there must be an answer. There's
got to be something.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
I don't know because I feel like they've got more
success than me, and I feel like I could be
doing that, but then I'm like, no, but I don't
want to be doing that.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (22:27):
But do you think that their peers are looking at
them like, oh, they're more successful than Polly?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
No one, no one's looking at it like that my brain,
or like.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Are they thinking, you know, Polly chose to live out
in the wilderness and chose peace, and I'm still here
doing the rat race thing like Polly's got success. I
don't I want that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Oh, it's the rose ten of glasses, It's the grass
is always greener mentality. And I want to know do
you have an answer on how to get out of it?
Speaker 5 (23:00):
I think we need to get really really clear on
what we want and why we want it. And if
you come from a place of ego where I want
what she has or I want that job, because then
my peers think, or my mum will think, or I'll
drive a Lamborghini and hot chicks will like me. Versus
(23:20):
I want to do work that I feel passionate and
purposeful and I want to be living a life in
integrity and of service to others are two very different things.
Like it's okay to want fancy shit because our ego
is always running in the background and we want people
(23:41):
to give us a compliment or acknowledge us or make
us seen like it's very human. But that's fine on
like a superficial level. When we're talking about like our
life path and our purpose, like get really clear on why.
Because when we go back to that whole point of
like feeling the feeling of being the most successful version
(24:05):
of yourself, right, if you're living that feeling, walking as
if you're that person, talking as if you're that person,
you're going to be attracting so many opportunities and people
and places and things and serendipitous moments that meet you
there when it's in truth versus ego and so it's
(24:26):
like you can keep trying to out smart yourself or
you can just like surrender your options.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Yes, And when you get into those mindset, it's this
such roadblocks and obstacles to actually getting what you want,
Like they're just fucking waste of time, waste of time.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
And you think you want the push right, yes, and
then you get it and you realize no one is
looking at you in your push, no one gives a
shit about you and your push, like they really don't.
And the people that do, like, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
I remember when I was in Australia and I was
on billboards and I was like really good with it,
and I just remember going, as I say, I was
like fight o this river, this is not going to
be this is like there was such a big part
of me that didn't feel that deep sense of fulfillment,
and like that was confronting to a lot of people.
I think they were like, why would you step away
when you're in you know, this position? And I was
(25:29):
like I can't really explain it, but I just got
to go home and I got to grab my roads.
And you're like you've got to follow those nudgets.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
And I think that people see that as successful when
you're not being dictated to by what society is you
should have and you're following your truth, even if that
looks crazy, like like living in this beautiful home and
not wanting it anymore because it's too much, and you
don't know it's too much, but until you're in it
(25:59):
and going like I want something that is enough, not
too much, Like it's weird for people are not okay,
and that's okay because they're not in the same place
as you, and you just have to be like you
will be confronting for people because they are being mirrored
what is actually drinking back to them and that's not
(26:23):
your problem. You just have to be in your truth.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
So you're going to get a tiny home and like
to rural New Zealand.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
Next to you fighting for your your radio job.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
So I have to see you talk about the imbortance
of boundaries, particularly over the last couple of years. Can
you talk through that, like how does that look for you?
Saying no as a former people pleaser.
Speaker 5 (26:47):
Oh my god, Like I had Terry Cole, who is
like the boundary master come on board and take us
through it and I think it's just such an interesting thing.
Actually raising a little girl to you know, what we're
like as women and how we were raised as children
(27:08):
in the eighties and nineties is such a impact on
our boundaries sexually, with consent, with work, with like signing
off your email's kiss kiss, like like all of the
stuff as a woman and boundaries versus even bringing in
(27:28):
you know, men into the equation and how they do
boundaries that just seem so much more adequate than we are.
But boundaries. So I'm writing a book. It's in it's
almost at its final edit, and.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Your first part.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
It's my first deal.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Oh my god, it's so great. Gratulations.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
Thank you. It's such a wonderful experience. But this, this
whole I have this whole chapter around boundaries because it's
almost like, and I explain it like this, like having
a door, bitch right to your energy into yourself and
you are a exquisite like very very elevated club. You know,
(28:17):
like we're talking, you just can't get in. You need
like a membership, you need who's who, Like it is
like the Kram Dela Cram, and then you've got drunks
out in the middle of the night trying to get
into your club. It's like, no, they're going to come in,
piss on the walls, have punch up, smash all the glasses,
like absolutely not, Like this is a sacred place. Boundaries
(28:42):
are for us. It looks like we're putting a boundary
there for somebody else, but they are for us. And
when we say, unfortunately, I'm out of office from three
pm every day, and the emails keep coming and you
get back to them on a Monday and they're like, hey,
you didn't get back to my emails. Yeah, it really
(29:03):
clearly states that I'm out of office from three pm
without an explanation. When a family member wants to come
over and see your newborn baby but they're sick, and
you're like, sorry, we're not having visitors for this week
and next, and i'd really appreciate it if you could
let me know when you're well and then we'll organize
a time that suits us. You know, like all of
(29:25):
these things, it's not people see it as being rude.
It's not being rude. It's allowing people to understand your
standards and what you require in life. People think that
I am very particular neurotic, and some of those things
(29:46):
are true, but I also have exceptional standards for myself
and then for everybody else. If you're in my orbit,
and if you're not, like I don't mind, but if
you're working with me or if we're friends, there is
a quality that I expect and that I like will
return in favor. And I think the boundaries help that.
(30:09):
And I'm really willing, like I love other people's boundaries.
When I see someone like set a boundary, I'm like, fuck,
that's hot, that's so sexy for them, Like I like respect,
you have self respect, So I mean you want more information.
The whole workshop gives you like play by play on
how to set a boundary. But this also will come
(30:29):
up in moments that feel deeply uncomfortable, where you will
people please when you really should set a boundary.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
And so how do you how do you prevent that?
Speaker 4 (30:39):
Like when it is an in this like spur of
the moment kind of thing and someone's there and you're
like not prepared for it, because I guess with boundaries,
sometimes people can be ready to reply with an email
or whatever. But if someone comes up and they are
something in your face and you're like, like the paper
pleaser might want to come out, but like, of course.
Speaker 5 (30:57):
I would say, like, if we're going from full on people,
please into boundaries, there's like an evolution. I would ask
for time. I would say like, oh, that's a really
interesting question. Could I get back to you on that?
Not in a in five minutes or in a day.
Can I get back to you on that. That's a
really kind way to pause yourself. Then you could reflect
and go like, oh no, I could have said thank
(31:18):
you so much for the opportunity, it just doesn't fit
for me. Or unfortunately I can't stay back today. I
have some commitments, you know, Or unfortunately my contracts I
end every day five o'clock. I won't be staying back,
but we can negotiate if you wanted to explore something further.
So I think to start with us for time, and
(31:40):
then reflect on what you really wanted to say, and
then always lead with kindness. It's like being really firm
but being really kind.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
And how has life changed since you've been bitter at
sitting these boundaries?
Speaker 5 (31:53):
Like you just have so much more time. You can't
like life is too short to do things you feel
obligated to do unless you're in a contract.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Yeah, you can't really get out of that.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Look, I'm really in this transitional evolution even with friendships
with family members, Like really, I'm doing some big stuff,
ending some big relationships that have required endings for a
long time that I haven't been able to do out
of obligation. And you don't. No one deserves anything from
(32:29):
you if they're not meeting you. And it feels so good.
It doesn't mean that. There are parts of me, like
the shadowy parts of myself that don't miss them, you know,
and the comfort of certain parts of the relationship, but
the commitment to myself is more important than that.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
So how would you describe how life feels right now
for you?
Speaker 5 (33:00):
Really exciting? Thursday wasn't so exciting. Today is really exciting.
There is a lot of movement, there's a lot of change,
but I am so willing to evolve and just I
think I've had that weird, you know, society impact on
(33:25):
me where I have to keep scaling and growing and scaling,
and now I'm just like, no, no, I'm just.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Going to I'm going to downsize.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
Yes, the quality of what I've got out there is
so high, it's ever green. We don't. I don't need
need to do more without that happening really organically.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
Or if there was a quote that you live by
or you think there's a quote that is such a
good mantra for one's life, there's one. Pop to the
top of your head.
Speaker 5 (33:59):
I've got one. You had to We did this for
the book, and I was like, asking you shall receive
and it's actually that quote is actually in the Bible,
and so we had to like reference the Bible. And
then they were like, you're definitely setting the wrong tone
for the book. So I removed asking you to receive
to whether you think it's true or not. Hang on,
(34:24):
it's oh my god, whether you think it? What do
you think it's true or not?
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Right?
Speaker 5 (34:29):
Right?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yeah, this is some of the one like that, like
whether you think you can or not? You're right as well.
Speaker 5 (34:35):
Yeah, And I love that because it's the same thing.
There's too many like I love let go or be dragged.
That's one of my favorites from my therapist because she's
very My therapist is like a psychologist, but she's definitely
spiritually inclined. And we had this real we had an
(34:56):
amazing session and we kind of I guess I said that,
and she's kept it forever as a reminder to me.
Is like, you know, you can choose the hard way
or the easy way, it's still going to be the way.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 5 (35:07):
Yeah, it's really good.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
For someone who's in a bit of a rut at
the moment, feeling like they're not loving their best life
and there's so much more that they want to be achieving,
but they just feel.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Like they're kind of stuck. Do you have any advice
to get out of that rut?
Speaker 5 (35:20):
I mean, join the membership, use me to your disposu
come in. Do you know something really seriously though, within
that community is having people around you to inspire you.
We call them rises, and they're people that show, like,
you know how you were like comparing yourself to the
(35:40):
girl at the radio station, being able to transform her
into if you wanted that you didn't want that, right,
but say that you did. Transforming that envy into someone
that stretches you, that you can talk to, that you're
inspired by is such an amazing way. And within the community,
(36:03):
you have all these people every day going oh my god,
I'm stuck. I'm in a rut, and you have someone
else coming up with this helped me? Or did you
try this or this meditation is amazing, or did you
do the Inner Child workshop? And then you've got people
that are there to champion you. You've got people there
that can help you do priming phone calls. Like I
think staying accountable is the biggest thing. It's kind of
(36:25):
like a gym work membership or losing weight or doing
something new. You have to have accountability. And that's why
I created the community is because and I'm talking about
the Arise community is because when I was in this
ten years ago and there was no one doing it.
It's so hard to stay committed and to believe. And
(36:46):
even when you've called in everything and you've taken the
aligned action and you've done everything, and you're in the abyss,
which is the time where we wait for the manifestation
to occur, it's hard. Bit I hate the most, and
so having being in a space that's safe and you
can just be like I am dying here, like my
(37:08):
patience is running out what I do and they're like,
go back to trust, go back to gratitude, do like,
go back to the work. It's such a helpful thing
because when you're out on your loan like an island,
and you're in the abyss. You're like, it doesn't work.
Fuck this shit. I'm going back to my old job
that I hate. So yeah, I've created the thing I
needed the most, and it's it's very impactful.
Speaker 4 (37:33):
So people can find it, just if we want to
do a little fluggy blood plug.
Speaker 5 (37:37):
I think it's I think, oh my gosh, I should notice.
I think it's a rise dot com dot A U
A R double I S E or on Instagram it's
a Rise ari I double A S E Underscore underscore
underscore because I fucked up the first.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
Did you show charge of work?
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Come on, guys?
Speaker 5 (37:57):
Can you do adnan?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Guys, there's like you're terrible and then no one asks
you to do things.
Speaker 5 (38:02):
I know. It's a good, good technician, accomplishment woman.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Okay, So I'm going to wrap this podcast up with
some advice that you would give to your younger self.
Let's say Zoe is the early twenties, she's just finding.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Her way through life. What would be the biggest.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
Neugative wisdom that you would in part on younger Zoe.
Speaker 5 (38:28):
It's going to get really, really bad and then it's
going to get really really good, So just have faith
when you want to give up, but it gets really good,
Like just trust.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
So beautiful, Zoe, and so nice to reconnect with you today.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
I just love because you talk about.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Evolving and how you love growth and all of that,
and I just feel like every time I see you,
you're like an upgraded version of yourself.
Speaker 5 (38:56):
I love. That'd be terrible if I'd like gone backwards, right,
You'd be like, what a disappointment? No, but you are.
Speaker 4 (39:03):
But like you grow, you just constantly shifting with whatever
challenges are throwing your way. And I always looked at
you as an inspiration. So thank you so much for
coming on the podcast today.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
Thank you beautiful girl, and can't wait to see you
in real life one day.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Oh that was my chat with Zolly.
Speaker 4 (39:23):
I really hope you enjoyed it. Love to know what
you got out of that conversation the most. I think
some of my big takeaways were they're getting up thirty
minutes earlier. It sounds like such a simple one, but
even when she put it like, oh, if you've got
to be tired, got to be thirty minutes earlier, you
know you have.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
To be.
Speaker 4 (39:40):
Strict on sleep. Like sleep at the end of the
day is it runs us like honestly, we have to
get strict on it. And I I'm, for one, am
very guilty it's staying up too late watching TV, particularly lately.
So that was a really good reminder for me. And
also I loved when she was talking about the gatekeeper
for your energy and being ruthless and really setting the
(40:05):
boundaries of who gets to come into your life, which,
as she said, it sounds you know, it can sound
quite brash and rude and brutal, but I mean, if
you want to give the best version of yourself, you
have to get really clear on who you want to
bring into your world. And then finally, I really liked
(40:26):
that story when she hit that really shitty day and
just letting go when she hits the fan, instead of
trying to fix everything and going into just the biggest
state of overwhelm, actually removing yourself from that situation and
going to the beach, going.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
For a walk, whatever it is, just getting out of.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
That moment where the world feels like it's falling in
or the sky feels like it's falling in, and actually
stepping back gives you the other perspective, So I really
like that not trying to push it in those situations
and just taking a deep breath and realizing it's actually
not the end of the world. But I would love
to know what you got out of the chat this week,
(41:11):
and you can help me up on Instagram, PJDJ see
me a little message. I'd love to know of any
other people you think would be great to get on
for Slow It Down. Thank you so much for joining
me for my first episode. I really appreciate it, and
I'll see you next week.
Hi, it's Tony Jason Sam from the field. Good Breakfast
on Coast And before we listen to our podcast, something
a little bit different, and you might hear a bit
more of this from our wonderful team at iHeartRadio and
we're part of that family too. We're going to show
you a few different types of podcasts that you might
want to add.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
To your collection.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Yeah, and this one today. We love PJ Harding and
she started a podcast called Slow It Down. So essentially
what it is, it's trying to get a more grounded
existence and give you ideas on how you can get
a better lifestyle balance. And so she's going to have
a whole lot of guests who have chosen to live
a more balanced lifestyle and there'll be some experts and
the tangible tips and tricks so that you can live
(00:33):
a more zen life.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
So if you're looking for a moment of me time,
but a you time just to chill out and unplug
a little bit. The podcast is out now released every Sunday,
you listen to the podcast wind down over the weekend
get grounded. You can follow the podcast on iHeartRadio or
where every your podcasts from just look for Slow it
Down with PJ Harding Enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
With the Heads podcast Network. Hello and welcome to Slow
It Down.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
I'm your host, PJ Harding, and I've started this podcast because, well,
pretty selfishly, really, I feel like life is so busy.
Even though I live literally in the middle of nowhere
off Griz, surrounded by bush you'd think that you could
just quiet in the noise, But I still feel stressed.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I still feel overwhelmed.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I still feel that pressure of keeping up with what
everyone else is doing. And I want to carve out
some time every week to sit down and have really
conscious conversations with people who are also living busy lives.
And I want to pick their brains and work out
how they find peace and the chaos and what rituals
(01:46):
they do to stay sane. It's that simple. Every week
I'll have a new guest and hopefully we can be
inspired together. I don't want this to be a judgmental zone.
I want it to be a placed you can chill
out and listened to over the weekend. And I am
so excited to introduce my first guest on the.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Show, Zoe Marshall.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
We actually briefly work together back in the day when
she was working on Zidim and Auckland. She worked on
a show there for a while and then we sort
of just kept in touch over the years, and she's
gone on to.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Create some amazing podcasts.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
She created The Deep and then started a subscription called
The Deeper, and the conversations that she has had on
that podcast have been pretty heavy. She's talked to people
will parents that have been given a terminal diagnosis. She's
talked to ice attics, conscious sex workers, the list goes on.
(02:49):
She's not afraid to tackle a taboo topic. And more recently,
she's gone on to create a new platform called a Rise,
which helps people create the life that is he and
it's all about manifestation, but as she says, it's manifestation
a bit bitter, and she talks about her there's so
much more to it than just at being woo. There's
(03:10):
a lot of science to back up some of this stuff.
So I can't wait to pick her brain in this episode.
And I really hope you enjoying my chat with Sally.
Oh sorry, I've been so excited to catch up with you.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
It has been a while.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
I think the last time we talked, i'd just given
birth and I went through like a step by step
harrowing encounter of what happens.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
Yeah, you were there was a little bit of PTSD.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, yeah, So it's really nice to see your beautiful.
Speaker 5 (03:38):
Face again and you Howard's the baby.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
He's just gone to Wow, two years since I spoke
to you, it's crazy.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Yeah, you were living in the bush.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I am kind pretty much.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Yes, yes, though I work in the nearest town now
so I actually do a radio show.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Out of the local rural time. Harm is a twenty.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Minute drive look at you all set up?
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Truth of all.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
I'll run through what slow It Down is and kind
of the premise of this podcast and why I thought
you'd be a perfect for that. So basically, I think
since moving to the middle of nowhere, you know, I
had this expectation that life becomes slow and relaxed and
I'd be grounded.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
And the reality is, I'm still stressed.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Life still feels chaotic, and I have a beautiful life,
but it's so easy to not appreciate everything beautiful in
front of you. So I want to talk about tips
and tracks and ways to really feel like.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
You can make the most of the golden years.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
Oh my god, are we in the golden years.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I know, I no pressure.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
I feel like this is so aligned with where I
am at because I am very literally in a metamorphosis
of of wanting to have the experiences and wisdom of
like being an elder on a rocking chair, you know,
(05:10):
but like doing all of that now, like the pace,
the presence, the appreciation now. So I am every I'm
just I want to get rid of everything. I want
to get rid of, like a lot of my belongings.
I want to downsize everything in my life. I want
(05:32):
to just have my needs met and then be able
to do less. And I am like it already is happening.
And I think it all started with like I had
a quite quite a scary breast scare in June, and
that just shifts everything. And it's such a shame that
(05:53):
human beings need such a dire situation to wake them up,
but I did. And I just got back from two
and a half weeks in Europe and Dubai and literally
just sitting in the sun eating bread and butter and
olive oil, I was like, this is living. Obviously, it's
(06:18):
very different circumstances, but what if we could bring that
level I like to call it like the magic in
the mundane, like finding the miracles.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Stop it there.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
It's literally like one of my objectives, we objectives of
this podcast is finding magic in the mundane, or like
finding meaning in the mundane.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
Right, yeah, And I find like being in awe of
everything around us. So I think we have just been
really stripped of so much importance because of you know,
how distracted we are, how we've got these kind of
(06:59):
really quick dopamine hits all the time. We're not able
to focus in and slow down and appreciate the things
that we have. I created a whole new business. I
got rid of slowed down one side of my business
and started a new one which is all around this
and it's around manifestation, co creation mindset. But truly, like
(07:22):
it sounds like a riddle, but everything that we want,
if you are living as if you already have that thing,
and you're already feeling the way it would feel to
have the thing, then you already have the feeling you
would have it even if you got it. So it's
kind of like once you get all the stuff right,
(07:45):
Like I went really hard in my career and I
got the accolades and I got the fancy car, and
I got the fancy house, and I got the fancy things,
and then you're like, oh fuck, I didn't need any
of the fancy things, any of them. Yes, right now,
shut down all those businesses. Start something that feels like
in true service, which will also keep me accountable every
(08:08):
single day and just be able to meet life where
it's at and be able to practice in real time.
Like it's okay to become heady about all of this
and get into the education and do the YouTube and
be in the tutorials and join the courses. But unless
you're in complete chaotic insanity and you don't start to
(08:30):
bring the stuff in, there's no point. Like you're just
on the kind of little rat wheel. What do you
call it?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, that is the rat race.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
That's also another reason why I wanted to do this,
because I've bought so many self help books of my life,
and I know all the shit to do, but just
sometimes implementing it is kind of hard. And you're right,
it's so sad that we have to have like these
life awakening moments, you know, whether it's a family been
(09:00):
beginning really unwell, or you lose your house or whatever.
When people are really steered with what reality is. That's
when they're like, oh, fuck, I don't have long to
live and I need to live and I can't waste
another second, and.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
Like what am I doing?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (09:17):
And how am I eating? And how am I moving?
And how am I turning up for my family? And
how am I working? And like like we are just
in this autopilot of life happening to us, and no
one actually stops until you're forced to stop, which is
a health scare or a death or like a crumbling
(09:37):
and you're like, oh my god, I have to change.
I can't smoke anymore, I can't drink like I like
all of the things. But really, I guess what I'm
trying to teach my community at ARISE is like we
don't need to get to breaking point to change, Like
we can bring in really incredible mini habits to change
(09:59):
your life and it will change your life and you
can have these realizations now and not at seventy you know,
on the Rocking Chair. I feel like I'm very aligned
with your podcast.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Well, I was looking at some of your videos on
the RIZ page today and there was one that caught
my eye and it was so funny because this woman
was talking to you about the importance of starting your
day with something positive and how that will set you
up for a more positive experience.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Not necessarily bring you.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
More positivity, but you'll be more aware of the positive
things that happened to you. So I watched that video
and then that second I've got it into practice, right,
And I was like, okay, okay, you're right, because I
wake up in like a stressed mode, right, and I
know I should be more mindful. So I was like, Okay,
I'm gonna say the mantra, what if everything just worked out?
What if everything just works up? What if everything just
(10:49):
wiks at? And I keep saying that, and then no
shits away. I walk outside the house and there was
this rainbow just going over our house, like it was
the perfect rainbow, and I was like, I got it that,
oh my, And then it just stayed there for our
ages and I was like, okay, well, that in itself
is just one of those moments.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
And so there is science behind this, because my program
is backed by neuroscience. There's science behind starting your day
with a declaration, an affirmation, a positive headspace like it.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It It's not just were woolshit.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
No, it like impacts your rath system. Your ra system
is your reticular activation system. And what that does is
we are consuming so much information all the time as humans.
We are always scanning for information that makes us true
or safe. So if you wake up and you're like
(11:44):
life is hard, things are hard, and nothing works out
for me, your rath system is figuring out, Like I'm
sure there was something underneath that rainbow, like there was
a traffic jam or there was this or that was that,
and you were like, okay, but I see the rainbow
in the traffic jam, and I see the rainbow.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
In that moment, I was like, oh my god, because
I'm so guilty of just like back in the day,
I felt like I was bitter at embodying all these
things that I believed, like having all these retchalks. But
it's so easy to get caught back up in that
like will as you talk about, and I know there's
so many beautiful things that I miss out on. So
it was it was quite like a powerful moment where
(12:22):
I was like, you cannot afford to miss all of
this beauty and magic, because that's what it's all about.
Speaker 5 (12:29):
And we do become addicted very immediately to our to
do lists and our needs and our children's needs and
the work and like. But the thing is, which is
so funny and very humbling, is the world doesn't end
if you didn't do the grocery shop, or if the
(12:51):
child is late for school, or if you didn't have
as many talking points for the radio show. Like it
just doesn't. Like maybe eventually you'll lose your job if
you don't keep doing. But I think we start to lose.
We are putting things in a very important category that
aren't and we're putting ourselves and our mental health and
(13:14):
our movement and our conversations as like something at the
bottom of the barrel. When I've put the kids to
bed and I lay on the couch, I'm scrolling on
TikTok and watching a show at the same time. Like
it just we're responsible, And I don't think that anyone
can like victimize themselves because we all have the ability,
(13:36):
like we really do.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Okay, so give me some really great ways things that
we can do to weave into our day to encourage
that presence.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
I think, firstly, this isn't like a quick hit. This
isn't like winning the lotto, This isn't like a pyramid
scheme marketing thing we make keep some money, and like,
no one is going to do this for you, and
it is going to require commitment to yourself. But I
can tell you the people that we look up to,
(14:12):
the celebrities or the entrepreneurs or the billion dollar business people,
have such integrity with their routines to themselves. So I
say to everyone in the course, especially when you're starting,
get up thirty minutes before you usually do right. And
that's really hard if you've got kids and you're getting
(14:34):
up at five instead of five thirty, right, but go
to bed earlier and in that thirty minutes you have
the ability to create a declaration when you're in an
alpha state, that awake state right to program your rust system.
You can do some some I want to say Hubban users.
(14:57):
I want to say it's called like parai engazing, but
it's when you look out and you're kind of balancing
your circadian rhythm, which is going to really support your sleep.
You can either journal or meditate, whichever feels better for you.
Move and stretch, eat, Like if you do like two
of those six things, you're already setting yourself up right.
(15:19):
So when the kids get up. They're like on, they're
like ready, and you're going to be a better parent.
You're going to be more patient, You're gonna be able
to listen to them. They're having a tantrum because they
want the blue cup not the red cup. You're like,
I really understand, I get it. Fuck I really like
the red cup too. But you won't be just like
pulling them out the door. Yeah, oh maybe you will,
(15:39):
you know. But I think that starting your day for
yourself and allowing yourself to set intentions rather than the
day catch you up is really important. And then there
are a million other things that we can bring in,
Like you really got to be serious about what you're consuming.
(16:00):
How much what are you drinking? Are you a caffeinated
person and you're relying on stimulants? Are you getting your
nourishment in Like we're little like organisms. We need to
be fed and watered and slept. And I think it's
like looking at basics, are you moving every day? And
then like how do you see the world and what
(16:23):
are you doing so co creation, how I teach it
isn't wish for thinking that a ferrari is going to
end up at your doorstep just because you put it
on your vision board. It's like what am I doing today?
What actions am I taking to be magnetic to what
I want? And so like I had a real doozy
(16:46):
of a day on Thursday. It was like a fucking
doozy and horrendous jet lag. I hadn't slept at all,
bench had food poisoning. My nanny was off, one of
my fate favorite favorite teammates within the my business resigned.
(17:06):
A lawyer needed a very specific information from me. My
accountant wanted to have a really hard conversation. My dog
vomited and I couldn't. I couldn't. My daughter was like,
you know, like at me. And so it was a
real moment of like that doesn't just kick a person
(17:28):
into doing that, kicks you into like safety seeking, behavior
finding security. And I went into my my autopilot, which
is like fix everything now, like blinkers on, don't talk
to me. I'm going to solve all the world's problems
in this moment. And then my husband was like, you're
(17:52):
not okay. I was like, I'm really not okay. Like
a lot is happening, and we have this beautiful session.
We had this workshop within the community that night which
was such perfect timing, and within this workshop, I was
able to explore what it would look like if I
did things differently like that way of like tunnel vision,
(18:14):
getting everything done, fixing it all in one day and
stressing myself out. I've done for forty years, So what
would the other way look like. I saw benj my husband,
downstairs after this workshop, and I said, listen, I know
I was in a wild state when you saw me.
I need you to know that I'm going to practice
(18:34):
something and tomorrow I am not going to do anything
about those things I've already like literally shot off. I've
taken so much action today to put out ten fires.
But tomorrow I'm not going to chase like the fire engine.
I'm just going to allow the action that I've taken
(18:56):
to simmer and connect. I'm going to go to the.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Beach, nice beach.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
You take my daughter to the beach, and I am
physically going to take myself out of where I want
to be with fixing. And it was in those moments,
and that's what I said at the beginning of this,
which was when the shit hits the fan, what learnings
and what practices are you putting into place? Because we
(19:26):
go to the place we feel the safest. We don't
go to the place which we have the greatest growth.
And so I took my own advice and I went
to the beach and I did that stuff, and then
I realized, with a bit of space, you have a
bit of clarity that I was like, oh my god,
this colleague leaving is the best thing for us. And
(19:47):
it hurts because I love them, but you would never
have let them go. You would never and this is
holding the business back. What are you going to do?
And so now on Monday morning, I have three incredible
business strategists that are like the whole thing has just
come together because there's been space and I've done something
(20:10):
implemented the growth without kind of that habitual. You know,
I wanted wine. I wanted heaps of wine. I wanted
to eat heaps of chips, and I wanted.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
To did you do any of that or did you
just go to the beach.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
I just went to the beach and then I went
for a walk and it was like, this is so
fucked being woke, Like how boring. And then on the weekend,
I definitely had two glasses of red wine. That's me
being really wild and I've woken up today no jet
lag and just like I just am excited, like I
(20:45):
did all my practices this morning, I'm back.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
And only it doesn't have to You don't have to
spial for six months, hm, Like you can like do
this in a day.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
With manifestation.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
People often talk about not forcing, not forcing, not for saying, yeah,
you took a step back from there and you just allowed,
and then all of a sudden it was trust.
Speaker 5 (21:15):
Yeah, mantra. It was like let go let God, you know,
trust trust for us. But that's really hard for like
a control freak. Even as a manifestation master like you.
Still it's just a humbling experience because you never graduate
from this stuff. Your life is just impacted by different
situations and circumstances where you just keep leveling up and
(21:36):
it's a beautiful life, like it's an extraordinary life. But
what you see a success and what I see a
success and the person listening are so vastly different. And
I'm not playing the game anymore for whatever anybody else
thinks is successful. For me.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
God, I get so caught up in there, I really do,
and I think that I'm bigger than that or you
know mature enough to like see past it, but I
still compare myself to so many people, and I'm like,
why the hell am I comparing myself to her? I
don't actually want to be like her, but I'm still
comparing myself.
Speaker 5 (22:12):
But if you didn't want what she had, why are
you compare exactly?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I don't know, because there must be an answer. There's
got to be something.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
I don't know because I feel like they've got more
success than me, and I feel like I could be
doing that, but then I'm like, no, but I don't
want to be doing that.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (22:27):
But do you think that their peers are looking at
them like, oh, they're more successful than Polly?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
No one, no one's looking at it like that my brain,
or like.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Are they thinking, you know, Polly chose to live out
in the wilderness and chose peace, and I'm still here
doing the rat race thing like Polly's got success. I
don't I want that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Oh, it's the rose ten of glasses, It's the grass
is always greener mentality. And I want to know do
you have an answer on how to get out of it?
Speaker 5 (23:00):
I think we need to get really really clear on
what we want and why we want it. And if
you come from a place of ego where I want
what she has or I want that job, because then
my peers think, or my mum will think, or I'll
drive a Lamborghini and hot chicks will like me. Versus
(23:20):
I want to do work that I feel passionate and
purposeful and I want to be living a life in
integrity and of service to others are two very different things.
Like it's okay to want fancy shit because our ego
is always running in the background and we want people
(23:41):
to give us a compliment or acknowledge us or make
us seen like it's very human. But that's fine on
like a superficial level. When we're talking about like our
life path and our purpose, like get really clear on why.
Because when we go back to that whole point of
like feeling the feeling of being the most successful version
(24:05):
of yourself, right, if you're living that feeling, walking as
if you're that person, talking as if you're that person,
you're going to be attracting so many opportunities and people
and places and things and serendipitous moments that meet you
there when it's in truth versus ego and so it's
(24:26):
like you can keep trying to out smart yourself or
you can just like surrender your options.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Yes, And when you get into those mindset, it's this
such roadblocks and obstacles to actually getting what you want,
Like they're just fucking waste of time, waste of time.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
And you think you want the push right, yes, and
then you get it and you realize no one is
looking at you in your push, no one gives a
shit about you and your push, like they really don't.
And the people that do, like, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
I remember when I was in Australia and I was
on billboards and I was like really good with it,
and I just remember going, as I say, I was
like fight o this river, this is not going to
be this is like there was such a big part
of me that didn't feel that deep sense of fulfillment,
and like that was confronting to a lot of people.
I think they were like, why would you step away
when you're in you know, this position? And I was
(25:29):
like I can't really explain it, but I just got
to go home and I got to grab my roads.
And you're like you've got to follow those nudgets.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
And I think that people see that as successful when
you're not being dictated to by what society is you
should have and you're following your truth, even if that
looks crazy, like like living in this beautiful home and
not wanting it anymore because it's too much, and you
don't know it's too much, but until you're in it
(25:59):
and going like I want something that is enough, not
too much, Like it's weird for people are not okay,
and that's okay because they're not in the same place
as you, and you just have to be like you
will be confronting for people because they are being mirrored
what is actually drinking back to them and that's not
(26:23):
your problem. You just have to be in your truth.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
So you're going to get a tiny home and like
to rural New Zealand.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
Next to you fighting for your your radio job.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
So I have to see you talk about the imbortance
of boundaries, particularly over the last couple of years. Can
you talk through that, like how does that look for you?
Saying no as a former people pleaser.
Speaker 5 (26:47):
Oh my god, Like I had Terry Cole, who is
like the boundary master come on board and take us
through it and I think it's just such an interesting thing.
Actually raising a little girl to you know, what we're
like as women and how we were raised as children
(27:08):
in the eighties and nineties is such a impact on
our boundaries sexually, with consent, with work, with like signing
off your email's kiss kiss, like like all of the
stuff as a woman and boundaries versus even bringing in
(27:28):
you know, men into the equation and how they do
boundaries that just seem so much more adequate than we are.
But boundaries. So I'm writing a book. It's in it's
almost at its final edit, and.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Your first part.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
It's my first deal.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Oh my god, it's so great. Gratulations.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
Thank you. It's such a wonderful experience. But this, this
whole I have this whole chapter around boundaries because it's
almost like, and I explain it like this, like having
a door, bitch right to your energy into yourself and
you are a exquisite like very very elevated club. You know,
(28:17):
like we're talking, you just can't get in. You need
like a membership, you need who's who, Like it is
like the Kram Dela Cram, and then you've got drunks
out in the middle of the night trying to get
into your club. It's like, no, they're going to come in,
piss on the walls, have punch up, smash all the glasses,
like absolutely not, Like this is a sacred place. Boundaries
(28:42):
are for us. It looks like we're putting a boundary
there for somebody else, but they are for us. And
when we say, unfortunately, I'm out of office from three
pm every day, and the emails keep coming and you
get back to them on a Monday and they're like, hey,
you didn't get back to my emails. Yeah, it really
(29:03):
clearly states that I'm out of office from three pm
without an explanation. When a family member wants to come
over and see your newborn baby but they're sick, and
you're like, sorry, we're not having visitors for this week
and next, and i'd really appreciate it if you could
let me know when you're well and then we'll organize
a time that suits us. You know, like all of
(29:25):
these things, it's not people see it as being rude.
It's not being rude. It's allowing people to understand your
standards and what you require in life. People think that
I am very particular neurotic, and some of those things
(29:46):
are true, but I also have exceptional standards for myself
and then for everybody else. If you're in my orbit,
and if you're not, like I don't mind, but if
you're working with me or if we're friends, there is
a quality that I expect and that I like will
return in favor. And I think the boundaries help that.
(30:09):
And I'm really willing, like I love other people's boundaries.
When I see someone like set a boundary, I'm like, fuck,
that's hot, that's so sexy for them, Like I like respect,
you have self respect, So I mean you want more information.
The whole workshop gives you like play by play on
how to set a boundary. But this also will come
(30:29):
up in moments that feel deeply uncomfortable, where you will
people please when you really should set a boundary.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
And so how do you how do you prevent that?
Speaker 4 (30:39):
Like when it is an in this like spur of
the moment kind of thing and someone's there and you're
like not prepared for it, because I guess with boundaries,
sometimes people can be ready to reply with an email
or whatever. But if someone comes up and they are
something in your face and you're like, like the paper
pleaser might want to come out, but like, of course.
Speaker 5 (30:57):
I would say, like, if we're going from full on people,
please into boundaries, there's like an evolution. I would ask
for time. I would say like, oh, that's a really
interesting question. Could I get back to you on that?
Not in a in five minutes or in a day.
Can I get back to you on that. That's a
really kind way to pause yourself. Then you could reflect
and go like, oh no, I could have said thank
(31:18):
you so much for the opportunity, it just doesn't fit
for me. Or unfortunately I can't stay back today. I
have some commitments, you know, Or unfortunately my contracts I
end every day five o'clock. I won't be staying back,
but we can negotiate if you wanted to explore something further.
So I think to start with us for time, and
(31:40):
then reflect on what you really wanted to say, and
then always lead with kindness. It's like being really firm
but being really kind.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
And how has life changed since you've been bitter at
sitting these boundaries?
Speaker 5 (31:53):
Like you just have so much more time. You can't
like life is too short to do things you feel
obligated to do unless you're in a contract.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Yeah, you can't really get out of that.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Look, I'm really in this transitional evolution even with friendships
with family members, Like really, I'm doing some big stuff,
ending some big relationships that have required endings for a
long time that I haven't been able to do out
of obligation. And you don't. No one deserves anything from
(32:29):
you if they're not meeting you. And it feels so good.
It doesn't mean that. There are parts of me, like
the shadowy parts of myself that don't miss them, you know,
and the comfort of certain parts of the relationship, but
the commitment to myself is more important than that.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
So how would you describe how life feels right now
for you?
Speaker 5 (33:00):
Really exciting? Thursday wasn't so exciting. Today is really exciting.
There is a lot of movement, there's a lot of change,
but I am so willing to evolve and just I
think I've had that weird, you know, society impact on
(33:25):
me where I have to keep scaling and growing and scaling,
and now I'm just like, no, no, I'm just.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Going to I'm going to downsize.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
Yes, the quality of what I've got out there is
so high, it's ever green. We don't. I don't need
need to do more without that happening really organically.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
Or if there was a quote that you live by
or you think there's a quote that is such a
good mantra for one's life, there's one. Pop to the
top of your head.
Speaker 5 (33:59):
I've got one. You had to We did this for
the book, and I was like, asking you shall receive
and it's actually that quote is actually in the Bible,
and so we had to like reference the Bible. And
then they were like, you're definitely setting the wrong tone
for the book. So I removed asking you to receive
to whether you think it's true or not. Hang on,
(34:24):
it's oh my god, whether you think it? What do
you think it's true or not?
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Right?
Speaker 5 (34:29):
Right?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yeah, this is some of the one like that, like
whether you think you can or not? You're right as well.
Speaker 5 (34:35):
Yeah, And I love that because it's the same thing.
There's too many like I love let go or be dragged.
That's one of my favorites from my therapist because she's
very My therapist is like a psychologist, but she's definitely
spiritually inclined. And we had this real we had an
(34:56):
amazing session and we kind of I guess I said that,
and she's kept it forever as a reminder to me.
Is like, you know, you can choose the hard way
or the easy way, it's still going to be the way.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 5 (35:07):
Yeah, it's really good.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
For someone who's in a bit of a rut at
the moment, feeling like they're not loving their best life
and there's so much more that they want to be achieving,
but they just feel.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Like they're kind of stuck. Do you have any advice
to get out of that rut?
Speaker 5 (35:20):
I mean, join the membership, use me to your disposu
come in. Do you know something really seriously though, within
that community is having people around you to inspire you.
We call them rises, and they're people that show, like,
you know how you were like comparing yourself to the
(35:40):
girl at the radio station, being able to transform her
into if you wanted that you didn't want that, right,
but say that you did. Transforming that envy into someone
that stretches you, that you can talk to, that you're
inspired by is such an amazing way. And within the community,
(36:03):
you have all these people every day going oh my god,
I'm stuck. I'm in a rut, and you have someone
else coming up with this helped me? Or did you
try this or this meditation is amazing, or did you
do the Inner Child workshop? And then you've got people
that are there to champion you. You've got people there
that can help you do priming phone calls. Like I
think staying accountable is the biggest thing. It's kind of
(36:25):
like a gym work membership or losing weight or doing
something new. You have to have accountability. And that's why
I created the community is because and I'm talking about
the Arise community is because when I was in this
ten years ago and there was no one doing it.
It's so hard to stay committed and to believe. And
(36:46):
even when you've called in everything and you've taken the
aligned action and you've done everything, and you're in the abyss,
which is the time where we wait for the manifestation
to occur, it's hard. Bit I hate the most, and
so having being in a space that's safe and you
can just be like I am dying here, like my
(37:08):
patience is running out what I do and they're like,
go back to trust, go back to gratitude, do like,
go back to the work. It's such a helpful thing
because when you're out on your loan like an island,
and you're in the abyss. You're like, it doesn't work.
Fuck this shit. I'm going back to my old job
that I hate. So yeah, I've created the thing I
needed the most, and it's it's very impactful.
Speaker 4 (37:33):
So people can find it, just if we want to
do a little fluggy blood plug.
Speaker 5 (37:37):
I think it's I think, oh my gosh, I should notice.
I think it's a rise dot com dot A U
A R double I S E or on Instagram it's
a Rise ari I double A S E Underscore underscore
underscore because I fucked up the first.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
Did you show charge of work?
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Come on, guys?
Speaker 5 (37:57):
Can you do adnan?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Guys, there's like you're terrible and then no one asks
you to do things.
Speaker 5 (38:02):
I know. It's a good, good technician, accomplishment woman.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Okay, So I'm going to wrap this podcast up with
some advice that you would give to your younger self.
Let's say Zoe is the early twenties, she's just finding.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Her way through life. What would be the biggest.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
Neugative wisdom that you would in part on younger Zoe.
Speaker 5 (38:28):
It's going to get really, really bad and then it's
going to get really really good, So just have faith
when you want to give up, but it gets really good,
Like just trust.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
So beautiful, Zoe, and so nice to reconnect with you today.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
I just love because you talk about.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Evolving and how you love growth and all of that,
and I just feel like every time I see you,
you're like an upgraded version of yourself.
Speaker 5 (38:56):
I love. That'd be terrible if I'd like gone backwards, right,
You'd be like, what a disappointment? No, but you are.
Speaker 4 (39:03):
But like you grow, you just constantly shifting with whatever
challenges are throwing your way. And I always looked at
you as an inspiration. So thank you so much for
coming on the podcast today.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
Thank you beautiful girl, and can't wait to see you
in real life one day.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Oh that was my chat with Zolly.
Speaker 4 (39:23):
I really hope you enjoyed it. Love to know what
you got out of that conversation the most. I think
some of my big takeaways were they're getting up thirty
minutes earlier. It sounds like such a simple one, but
even when she put it like, oh, if you've got
to be tired, got to be thirty minutes earlier, you
know you have.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
To be.
Speaker 4 (39:40):
Strict on sleep. Like sleep at the end of the
day is it runs us like honestly, we have to
get strict on it. And I I'm, for one, am
very guilty it's staying up too late watching TV, particularly lately.
So that was a really good reminder for me. And
also I loved when she was talking about the gatekeeper
for your energy and being ruthless and really setting the
(40:05):
boundaries of who gets to come into your life, which,
as she said, it sounds you know, it can sound
quite brash and rude and brutal, but I mean, if
you want to give the best version of yourself, you
have to get really clear on who you want to
bring into your world. And then finally, I really liked
(40:26):
that story when she hit that really shitty day and
just letting go when she hits the fan, instead of
trying to fix everything and going into just the biggest
state of overwhelm, actually removing yourself from that situation and
going to the beach, going.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
For a walk, whatever it is, just getting out of.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
That moment where the world feels like it's falling in
or the sky feels like it's falling in, and actually
stepping back gives you the other perspective, So I really
like that not trying to push it in those situations
and just taking a deep breath and realizing it's actually
not the end of the world. But I would love
to know what you got out of the chat this week,
(41:11):
and you can help me up on Instagram, PJDJ see
me a little message. I'd love to know of any
other people you think would be great to get on
for Slow It Down. Thank you so much for joining
me for my first episode. I really appreciate it, and
I'll see you next week.
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