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October 5, 2024 41 mins

We've got a bonus episode for When I Grow Up Fans! The Hits very own PJ has a brand-new podcast - Slow It Down. The podcast is designed to be a moment of me time for busy lives and a weekly dose of wholesome to inspire a grounded existence. If you like it, follow the show on iHeartRadio or wherever you listen to podcasts.

About the show:

Life is fast. Information is overwhelming. We seem busier and more anxious than ever. Introducing ‘Slow It Down’. A time to chill, wind down and join a space that inspires people to live authentically and slow it down. A hub for living more consciously and incorporating mindful practices and rituals in an achievable way. The aim is to showcase guests who have chosen to live a more balanced lifestyle mixed in with experts who offer tangible tips and tricks to feel a little more zen.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, it's Siena and Being and we've got a bit
of a special treat for you right now. Yes, there
is a brand new podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's called Slow It Down with PJ Harding who works
on the heats with my dad.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
Her podcast is all about learning how to take time
out of our busy lives.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Right you can hear the first episode. And actually PJ
is here right now, and PJ, I think Dad needs
to listen because he actually just needs to slow down.
He's always busy doing stuff. Can he slow it down?
I think he needs to get in the down with
dog deal, bit of.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Yoga, even just a couple of streets, take a deep breath,
and maybe you guys could even go through the things
that you.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Were grateful for that day.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
That's good. I like that.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
It sounds like you've got a lot going on. You
need to slow down at the moment right now. Okay, yep, okay,
good advice. Well, we can't wait to hear the first episode.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
But first a question I always ask my gifts, what
would you tell your younger self at my age?

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Well, I tell my younger self to surround yourself with
good people and don't listen to.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
All the other boys.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Oh my god, I love it.

Speaker 4 (01:04):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
Slow It Down with PJ Harding. We're very excited about
set out where you can get it every Sunday, where
you get your podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Here's the first episode with the Heads Podcast Network. Hello
and welcome to Slow It Down. I'm your host, PJ Harding,
and I've started this podcast because, well, pretty selfishly, really,

(01:35):
I feel like life is so busy. Even though I
live literally in the middle of nowhere off Graz, surrounded
by bush you'd think that you could just quiet in
the noise, But I still feel stressed. I still feel overwhelmed.
I still feel, you know, that pressure of keeping up
with what everyone else is doing. And I want to

(01:56):
carve out some time every week to sit down and
have really con conversations with people who are also living
busy lives. And I want to pick their brains and
work out how they find peace and the chaos and
what rituals they do to stay sane. It's that simple.
Every week I'll have a new guest and hopefully we

(02:17):
can be inspired together. I don't want this to be
a judgmental zone. I want it to be a placed
you can chill out and listen to over the weekend,
and I am so excited to introduce my first guest
on the show, Zoe Marshall. We actually briefly work together
back in the day when she was working on ZIDM

(02:38):
and Auckland. She worked on a show there for a
while and then we sort of just kept in touch
over the years, and she's gone on to create some
amazing podcasts. She created The Deep and then started a
subscription called The Deeper, and the conversations that she has
had on that podcast have been pretty heavy. She's talked

(03:02):
to people will parents that have been given a terminal diagnosis.
She's talked to isatic's conscious sex workers. The list goes on.
She's not afraid to tackle a taboo topic. And more recently,
she's gone on to create a new platform called Rise,
which helps people create the life they deserve. And it's

(03:25):
all about manifestation, but as she says, it's manifestation a
bit better and she talks about her through so much
more to it than just at being woo. There's a
lot of science to back up some of this stuff.
So I can't wait to pick her brain in this episode.
And I really hope you enjoying my chat with Sully. Oh, Zorry,
I've been so excited to catch up with you. It

(03:46):
has been a while. I think the last time we talked,
i'd just given birth and I went through like a
step by step harrowing encounter of what happens.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yeah, you were there was a little bit of PTSD.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah, yeah, So it's really nice to see your beautiful.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Face again, and you how it's the baby he's just
gone to Wow, two years since.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
I spoke to you, it's crazy. Yeah, you were living
in the bush.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
I am kind pretty much.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yes, yes, though I work in the nearest town now
so I actually do a radio show out of the
local rural talmag is a twenty.

Speaker 4 (04:24):
Minute drive look at you all set up?

Speaker 2 (04:28):
First of all, I'll run through what Slow It Down
is and kind of the premise of this podcast and
why I thought you'd be a perfect for that. So basically,
I think since moving to the middle of nowhere, you know,
I had this expectation that life becomes slow and relaxed
and I'd be grounded, And the reality is, I'm still stressed.

(04:51):
Life still feels chaotic, and I have a beautiful life,
but it's so easy to not appreciate everything beautiful in
front of you. So I wanted to talk about tips
and tricks and ways to really feel like you can
make the most of the golden years.

Speaker 4 (05:08):
Oh my god, are we in the golden years?

Speaker 1 (05:11):
I know, I know, pre sire.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
I feel like this is so aligned with where I
am at because I am very literally.

Speaker 4 (05:21):
In a metamorphosis of.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Wanting to have the experiences and wisdom of like being
an elder on a rocking chair, you know, but like
doing all of that now, like the pace, the presence,
the appreciation now. So I am every I'm just I

(05:47):
want to get rid of everything. I want to get
rid of, like a lot of my belongings. I want
to downsize everything.

Speaker 4 (05:53):
In my life. I want to just have my needs
met and then be able to do less.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
And I am like it already is happening. And I
think it all started with, like I had it a
quite quite a scary breast scare.

Speaker 4 (06:12):
In June, and that just shifts everything.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
And it's such a shame that human beings need such
a dire situation to wake them up, but I did.
And I just got back from two and a half
weeks in Europe and Dubai and literally just sitting in
the sun eating bread and butter and olive oil. I

(06:38):
was like, this is living. Obviously, it's very different circumstances,
but what if we could bring that level. I like
to call it like the magic in the mundane, like
finding the miracles.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
Stop it there.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
It's literally like one of my obtives, well objectives of
this podcast is finding magic in the mundane, or like
finding meaning in the mundane.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Right, yeah, And I find like being in awe of
everything around us. So I think we have just been
really stripped of so much importance because of you know,
how distracted we are, how we've got these kind of

(07:23):
really quick dopamine hits all the time. We're not able
to focus in and slow down and appreciate the things
that we have.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
I created a whole new business. I got rid of.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
Slowed down one side of my business and started a
new one which is all around this and it's around manifestation,
co creation mindset. But truly, like it sounds like a riddle,
but everything that we want if you are living as
if you already have that thing, and you're already feeling

(07:57):
the way it would feel to have the thing, then
you already have the feeling you would have it even
if you got it. So it's kind of like once
you get all the stuff right, like I went really
hard in my career and I got the accolades, and
I got the fancy car, and I got the fancy house,
and I got the fancy things, and then you're like,
oh fuck, I didn't need any of the fancy things,

(08:20):
any of them. Yes, right, but now shut down all
those businesses. Start something that feels like in true service,
which will also keep me accountable every single day and
just be able to meet life where it's at and
be able to practice in real time. It's okay to
become heady about all of this and get into the

(08:42):
education and do the YouTube and be in the tutorials
and join the courses. But unless you're in complete chaotic
insanity and you don't start to bring the stuff in,
there's no point, Like you're just on the kind of
little rat will.

Speaker 4 (09:00):
What do you call it?

Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yeah, that is the rat race.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
That's also another reason why I wanted to do this,
because I've bought so many self help books my life,
and I know all the shit to do, but just
sometimes implementing it is kind of hard and You're right,
it's so sad that we have to have like these
life awakening moments, you know, whether it's a family member

(09:24):
beginning really unwell or you lose your house or whatever.
When people are really steered with what reality is, that's
when they're like, oh, fuck, I don't have long to
live and I need to live and I can't waste
another second.

Speaker 4 (09:39):
And like what am I doing?

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (09:40):
And how am I eating? And how am I moving?
And how am I turning up for my family? And
how am I working? And like like we are just
in this autopilot of life happening to us, and no
one actually stops until you're forced to stop, which is
a health scare or a death or like a rumbling

(10:01):
and you're like.

Speaker 4 (10:02):
Oh my god, I have to change.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
I can't smoke anymore, I can't drink, like I like
all of the things. But really, I guess what I'm
trying to teach my community at a RISE is like,
we don't need to get to breaking point to change, Like,
we can bring in really incredible mini habits to change
your life, and it will change your life. And you

(10:26):
can have these realizations now and not at seventy you know, on.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
The Rocking Chair. I feel like I'm very aligned with
your podcast.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
Well, I was looking at some of your videos on
the rise page today and there was one that caught
my eye, and it was so funny because this woman
was talking to you about the importance of starting your
day with something positive and how that will set you
up for a more positive experience.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
Not necessarily bring you more.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Positivity, but you'll be more aware of the positive things
that happened to you. So I watched that video and
then that second I've got it into practice, right, And
I was like, Okay, okay, you're right, because wake up
in like a stressed mode, right, and I know I
should be more mindful. So I was like, okay, I'm
gonna say the mantra what if everything just wiped out?
What if everything just wicks out? What if everything just

(11:12):
wixs aut? And I keep saying that, and then no
shits away. I walk outside the house and there was
this rainbow just going over our house like it was
the perfect rainbow, and.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
I was like, I gotta tell Zoe that.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
Oh, and then I just.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Stayed there for our ages and I was like, okay, well,
that in itself is just one of those moments, and so.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
There is science behind this, because my program is backed
by neuroscience. There's science behind starting your day with a declaration,
an affirmation, a positive headspace like it.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
It it's not just were woolshit, No, it like.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
Impacts your RA system. Your RA system is your reticular
activation system. And what that does is we are consuming
so much information all the time as humans. We are
always scanning for information that makes us true or safe.
So if you wake up and you're like life is hard,

(12:09):
things are hard, and nothing works out for me, your RAP.

Speaker 4 (12:11):
System is figuring out, Like I'm sure there.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
Was something underneath that rainbow, like there was a traffic
jam or there was this, or that was that, and
you were like, okay, but I see the rainbow in
the traffic jam, and I see the rainbow.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
In that moment, I was like, oh my god, because
I'm so guilty of just like back in the day,
I felt like I was bitter at embodying all these
things that I believed, like having all these retchalks.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
But it's so easy to get caught back.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
Up in that like will as you talk about, and
I know this, so many beautiful things that I miss
out on. So it was quite like a powerful moment
where I was like, you cannot afford to miss all
of this beauty and magic, because that's what it's all about.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
And we do become addicted very immediately to our to
do lists and our needs and our children's needs and
the work and like. But the thing is, which is
so funny and very humbling, is the world doesn't end
if you didn't do the grocery shop, or if the

(13:15):
child is like for school, or if you didn't have
as many talking points of the radio show, like it
just doesn't.

Speaker 4 (13:21):
Like maybe eventually.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
You'll lose your job if you don't keep doing, but
I think we start to lose. We are putting things
in a very important category that aren't and we're putting
ourselves and our mental health and our movement and our
conversations as like something at the bottom of the barrels too.

(13:45):
When I've put the kids to bed and I lay
on the couch and I'm scrolling on TikTok and watching
a show at the same time.

Speaker 4 (13:50):
Like it just we're responsible.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
And I don't think that anyone can like victimize themselves
because we all have the ability, like we really do.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
Okay, so give me some really great ways things that
we can do to weave into our day to encourage
that presence.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
I think, firstly, this isn't like a quick hit, This
isn't like winning the lotto, This isn't like a pyramid
scheme marketing thing where you may keeps of money, and like,
no one is going to do this for you, and
it is going to require commitment to yourself. But I
can tell you the people that we look up to,

(14:35):
the celebrities or the entrepreneurs or the billion dollar business people,
have such integrity with their routines to themselves. So I
say to everyone in the course, especially when you're starting,
get up thirty minutes before you usually do, right. And
that's really hard if you've got kids and you're getting

(14:57):
up at five instead of five thirty, right, but go
to be earlier, and in that thirty minutes you have
the ability to create a declaration when you're in an
alpha state, that awake state, right to program your rust system.
You can do some some I want to say hubban

(15:20):
uses it. I want to say it's called like horizon gazing,
but it's when you look out and you're kind of
balancing your circadian rhythm, which is going to really support
your sleep. You can either journal or meditate, whichever feels
better for you. Move and stretch, eat. Like, if you
do like two of those six things, you're already setting

(15:42):
yourself up right. So when the kids get up, they're
like on, they're like ready, and you're going to be
a better parent. You're going to be more patient. You're
going to be able to listen to them. They're having
a tantrum because they want the blue cup not the
red cup. You're like, I really understand, I get it. Fuck,
I really like the red cup too.

Speaker 4 (15:58):
But you won't be just like pulling them out the door.
Oh maybe you will, you know.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
But I think that starting your day for yourself and
allowing yourself to set intentions rather than the day catch
you up is really important. And then there are a
million other things that we can bring in, Like you
really got to be serious about what you're consuming. How

(16:24):
much what are you drinking? Are you a caffeinated person
and you're relying on stimulants? Are you getting your nourishment
in like where little like organisms we need to be
fed and watered and slept. And I think it's like
looking at basics. Are you moving every day, and then like,
how do you see the world and what are you

(16:47):
doing so co creation, how I teach It isn't wishful
thinking that a Ferrari is going to end up at
your doorstep just because you put it on your vision board.
It's like what am I doing today? What actions am
I taking to be magnetic to what I want? And
so like I had a real doozy of a day

(17:10):
on Thursday. It was like a fucking doozy, horrendous jet lag.
I hadn't slept at all, bench had food poisoning, my
nanny was off. One of my favorite favorite teammates within
the my business resigned. A lawyer needed a very specific

(17:32):
information from me. My account wanted to have a really
hard conversation. My dog vomited and I couldn't.

Speaker 4 (17:39):
I couldn't.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
My daughter was like, you know, like at me. And
so it was a real moment of like that doesn't
just kick a person into doing that, kicks you into
like safety seeking, behavior finding security.

Speaker 4 (18:00):
And I went into.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
My my autopilot, which is like fix everything now, like
blinkers on, don't talk to me. I'm going to solve
all the world's problems. In this moment, and then my
husband was like, you're not okay. I was like, I'm
really not okay, Like a lot is happening.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
And we have this beautiful session.

Speaker 3 (18:22):
We had this workshop within the community that night, which
was such perfect timing, and within this workshop, I was
able to explore what it would look like if I
did things differently like that way of like tunnel vision,
getting everything done, fixing it all in one day and
stressing myself out. I've done for forty years, So what

(18:43):
would the other way look like. I saw benj my husband,
downstairs after this workshop, and I said, listen, I know
I was in a wild state when.

Speaker 4 (18:54):
You saw me.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
I need you to know that I'm going to practice
something and tomorrow I am not going to do anything
about those things I've.

Speaker 4 (19:04):
Already like literally shot off.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
I've taken so much action today to put out ten fires.
But tomorrow I'm not going to chase like the fire engine.
I'm just going to allow the action that I've taken
to simmer and connect.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
I'm going to go to the beach, nice beach.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
I'm to take my daughter to the beach, and I
am physically going to take myself out of where I
want to be with fixing. And it was in those moments,
and that's what I said at the beginning of this,
which was when the shit hits the fan, what learnings
and what practices are you putting into place? Because we

(19:50):
go to the place we feel the safest, we don't
go to the place which we have the greatest growth.
And so I took my own advice and I went
to the beach and I did that stuff. And then
I realized, with a bit of space, you have a
bit of clarity that I was like, oh my god,
this colleague leaving is the best thing for us. And

(20:11):
it hurts because I love them, but you would never
have let them go. You would never And this is
holding the business back.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
What are you going to do?

Speaker 3 (20:21):
And so now on Monday morning, I have three incredible
business strategists that are like, the whole thing has just
come together because there's been space and I've done something
implemented the growth without kind of that habitual. You know,
I wanted wine. I wanted heaps of wine. I wanted

(20:41):
to eat heaps of chips, and I wanted.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
To did you do any of that or did you
just go to the beach spac I just.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
Went to the beach and then I went for a
walk and it was like this is so fucked being woke,
Like how boring. And then on the weekend, I definitely
had two glasses of red wine.

Speaker 4 (20:59):
That's me being really wild.

Speaker 3 (21:01):
And I've woken up today no jet lag and just
like I just am excited, like I did all my
practices this morning, I'm back. Yeah, and only it doesn't
have to You don't have to spial for six months,
like you can like do this in a day.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
With manifestations, people often talk about not forcing, not forcing,
not forcing. Yeah, you took a step back from there
and you just allowed, and then all of a sudden
it was trust mantra.

Speaker 3 (21:40):
It was like, let go let God, you know, trust
trust for us. But that's really hard for like a
control freak. Even as a manifestation master like you, still
it's just a humbling experience because you never graduate from
this stuff. Your life is just impacted by different situations
and circumstances where you just keep leveling up and it's

(22:00):
a beautiful life, like it's an extraordinary life. But what
you see a success and what I see a success
and the person listening are so vastly different and I'm
not playing the game anymore for whatever anybody else thinks
is successful.

Speaker 4 (22:18):
For me.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
God, I get so caught up in that, I really do,
and I think that I'm bigger than that, or you know,
mature enough to like see past it. But I still
compare myself to so many people, and I'm like, why
the hell am I comparing myself to her? I don't
actually want to be like her, but I'm still comparing myself.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
But if you didn't want what she had, why you
compare exactly? I don't know, because there must be an answer.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
There's got to be something.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
I don't know because I feel like they've got more
success than me, and I feel like I could be
doing that.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
But then I'm like, no, but I don't want to
be doing that. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (22:51):
But do you think that their peers are looking at
them like, oh, they're more successful than Polly?

Speaker 1 (22:57):
No one, no one's looking at it like that, my brain.

Speaker 3 (23:02):
Or like are they thinking, you know, Polly chose to
live out in the wilderness and chose peace, and I'm
still here doing the rat race thing.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
Like Polly's got success. I don't I want that, do
you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (23:17):
Oh, it's the rose ten of glasses.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
It's the grass is always greener mentality, And I want
to know do you have an answer on how to
get out of it?

Speaker 3 (23:24):
I think we need to get really really clear on
what we want and why we want it. And if
you come from a place of ego where I want
what she has or I want that job, because then
my peers think, or my mum will think, or I'll
drive a Lamborghini and hot chicks will like me. Versus

(23:44):
I want to do work that I feel passionate and purposeful,
and I want to be living a life in integrity
and of service to others are two very different things.
Like it's okay to want fancy because our ego is
always running in the background and we want people to

(24:05):
give us a compliment or acknowledge us or make us
seen like it's very human. But that's fine on like
a superficial level when we're talking about like our life
path and our purpose, like get really clear on why
because when we go back to that whole point of
like feeling, the feeling of being the most successful version

(24:29):
of yourself, right if you're living that feeling walking as
if you're that person talking as if you're that person,
you're going to be attracting so many opportunities and people
and places and things and serendipitous moments that meet you
there when it's in truth versus ego. And so it's

(24:50):
like you can keep trying to out smart yourself or
you can just like surrender your options.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
Yes, And when you get into those mindsets, there's such
roadblocks and obstacles to actually getting what you want, Like
they're just fucking waste of time, waste of time.

Speaker 3 (25:12):
And you think you want the push, right, yeah, and
then you get it and you realize no one is
looking at you in your push, no one gives a
shit about you and your push, Like they really don't.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
And the people that do, like, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
I remember when I was in Australia and I was
on billboards and I was like really good with it,
and I just remember going, as I say, I was like,
if I do this river, this is not going to
be this is like there was such a big part
of me that didn't feel that deep sense of fulfillment,
and like that was confronting to a lot of people.
I think they were like, why would you step away
when you're in you know, this position, and I was like,

(25:53):
I can't really explain it, but I just got to
go home and I got to grab my roads. And
you're like, you gotta all of those nudges.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
And I think that people see that as successful when
you're not being dictated to by what society is you
should have and you're following your truth, even if that
looks crazy, like living in this beautiful home and not
wanting it anymore because it's too much, and you don't
know it's too much, but until you're in it and

(26:23):
going like I want something that is enough, not too much,
Like it's weird for people are not okay, and that's
okay because they're not in the same place as you,
and you just have to be like you will be
confronting for people because they are being mirrored what is
actually drinking back to them and that's not your problem.

Speaker 4 (26:47):
You just have to be in your truth.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
So you're going to get a tiny home and like
living to.

Speaker 3 (26:53):
Rural New Zealand next to you fighting for your your
radio job.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
So I've seen you talk about the importance of boundaries,
particularly over the last couple of years. Can you talk
through that, like, how does that look for you saying no.
As a former people pleaser.

Speaker 4 (27:11):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
Like I had Terry Cole, who is like the boundary master,
come on board and take us through it. And I
think it's just such an interesting thing, especially raising a
little girl to you know, what we're like as women
and how we were raised as children in the eighties

(27:32):
and nineties is such a impact on our boundaries sexually,
with consent, with work, with like signing off your email's
kiss kiss, like all of the stuff as a woman
and boundaries versus even bringing in you know, men into

(27:54):
the equation and how they do boundaries that just seem
so much more adequate than we are. But boundaries. So
I'm writing a book. It's in it's almost at its
final edit and first hard it's my first deal. Oh
my god, it's so great. Congratulations, thank you. It's such

(28:14):
a wonderful experience. But this, this whole I have this
whole chapter around boundaries because it's almost like, and I
explain it like this, like having a door, bitch right.

Speaker 4 (28:27):
To your energy into yourself.

Speaker 3 (28:29):
And you are a exquisite like very very elevated.

Speaker 4 (28:40):
Club, you know, like like we're.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
Talking, you just can't get in you need like a membership,
you need who's who, Like it is like the Kram
Dolla Cram, And then you've got drunks out in the
middle of the night trying to get into your club.
It's like, no, they're going to come in, piss on
the walls, have punch up, smash all the glass. Is
like absolutely not, Like this is a sacred place. Boundaries

(29:06):
are for us. It looks like we're putting a boundary
there for somebody else, but they are for us. And
when we say unfortunately, I'm out of office from three
pm every day, and the emails keep coming and you
get back to them on a Monday and they're like, hey,
you didn't get back to my emails. Yeah, it really

(29:26):
clearly states that I'm out of office from three pm
without an explanation. When a family member wants to come
over and see your newborn baby but they're sick, and
you're like, sorry, we're not having visitors for this week
and next and i'd really appreciate it if you could
let me know when you're well and then we'll organize
a time that suits us. You know, like all of

(29:49):
these things, it's not people see it as being rude it's.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
Not being rude.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
It's allowing people to understand your standards and what you
require in life. People think that I am very particular neurotic,
and some of those things are true, but I also
have exceptional standards for myself and then for everybody else.

(30:16):
If you're in my orbit, and if you're not, like,
I don't mind, but if you're working with me or
if we're friends, there is a quality that I expect
and that I will return in favor. And I think
the boundaries help that. And I'm really willing, like I
love other people's boundaries. When I see someone like set

(30:37):
a boundary, I'm like, fuck, that's hot, that's so sexy
for them. I like respect, You have self respect, So
I mean you want more information. The whole workshop gives you,
like play by play on how to set a boundary.
But this also will come up in moments that feel
deeply uncomfortable, where you will people please when you really

(30:59):
should set up boundary.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
And so how do you how do you prevent that?

Speaker 2 (31:02):
Like when it is an in this like spur of
the moment kind of thing and someone's there and you're
like not prepared for it, because I guess we're boundaries.
Sometimes people can be ready to reply with an email
or whatever, But if someone comes up and they ask
something in your face and you're like, oh, like the
paple pleaser might want to come out, but like, of course.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
I would say, like, if we're going from full on
people pleasing to boundaries, there's like an evolution. I would
ask for time. I would say like, oh, that's a
really interesting question. Could I get back to you on that?
Not in a in five minutes or in a day.
Can I get back to.

Speaker 4 (31:35):
You on that.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
That's a really kind way to pause yourself. Then you
could reflect and go like, oh no, I could have
said thank you so much for the opportunity, it just
doesn't fit for me. Or unfortunately I can't stay back today.
I have some commitments, you know, or unfortunately my contracts
it I end every day five o'clock. I won't be
staying back, but we can negotiate if you wanted to

(31:57):
explore something further. So I think to start with us
for time, and then reflect on what you really wanted
to say, and then always lead with kindness. It's like
being really firm but being really kind.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
And how has life changed since you've been better at
sitting these boundaries, Like.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
You just have so much more time you can't like
life is too short to do things you feel obligated
to do unless you're in a.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
Contractor you can't really get out of that.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
Look, I'm really in this transitional evolution even with friendships
with family members, Like, really, I'm doing some big stuff,
ending some big relationships that have required endings for a
long time that I haven't been able to do out
of obligation.

Speaker 4 (32:45):
And you don't.

Speaker 3 (32:49):
No one deserves anything from you if they're not meeting you.
And it feels so good, doesn't mean that there are
parts of me, like the shadowy parts of myself that
don't miss them, you know, and the comfort of certain
parts of the relationship. But the commitment to myself is

(33:14):
more important than that.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Mm hmmm, I love that.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
So how would you describe how life feels right now
for you?

Speaker 4 (33:24):
Really exciting? Thursday wasn't so exciting.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
Today is really exciting. There is a lot of movement,
there's a lot of change, but I am so willing
to evolve and just I think I've had that weird
you know, society impact on me where I have to

(33:49):
keep scaling and growing and scaling, and now I'm just like, no, no,
I'm just gonna.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
I'm going to downsize.

Speaker 3 (33:58):
Yes, the quality of what I've got out there is
so high, it's ever green. We don't I don't need
need to do more without that happening really organically.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
Or if there was a quote that you live by
or you think there's a quote that is such a
good mantra for one's life, does one pop to the
top of your head.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
I've got one.

Speaker 3 (34:23):
We had to we did this for the book, and
I was like, asking you show receive and it's actually
that quote is actually in the Bible, and so we
had to like reference the Bible.

Speaker 4 (34:34):
And then they were like, you're definitely setting the wrong tone.
So I removed asking you to receive to whether you
think it's true or not.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
Hang on, it's oh my god, whether you think it
what do you think it's true or not?

Speaker 1 (34:52):
You're right right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
This is some of the one like that, like whether
you think you can or not, you're right right as well.

Speaker 3 (34:58):
Yeah, And I love that because it's the same thing.
There's too many like I love let go or be dragged.

Speaker 4 (35:05):
That's one of my favorites.

Speaker 3 (35:06):
Thats therapists, because she's my therapist is like a psychologist,
but she's definitely spiritually inclined. We had this real we
had an amazing session and we kind of I guess
I said that, and she's kept it forever as a
reminder to me. Is like, you know, you can choose

(35:27):
the hard way or the easy way, it's still going
to be the way.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
Oh that's good.

Speaker 4 (35:31):
Yeah, it's really.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Good for someone who's in a bit of a rut
at the moment, feeling like they're not loving their best
life and there's so much more that they want to
be achieving, but they just feel.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Like they're kind of stuck.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
Do you have any advice to get out of that rut?

Speaker 3 (35:43):
I mean, join the membership, use me to your disposu
come in something really seriously though. Within that community is
having people around you to inspire you.

Speaker 4 (35:58):
We call them rises, and they're people that show, like,
you know how you were.

Speaker 3 (36:03):
Like comparing yourself to the girl at the radio station,
being able to transform her into if you wanted that
you didn't want that, right, but say that you did
transforming that envy into someone that stretches you, that you
can talk to that you're inspired by is such an

(36:25):
amazing way. And within the community, you have all these
people every day going, oh my god, I'm stuck, I'm
in a rut, and you have someone else coming up
with this helped me, or did you try this or
this meditation is amazing, or did you do the Inner
Child workshop? And then you've got people that are there
to champion you. You've got people there that can help
you do priming phone calls. Like I think staying accountable

(36:48):
is the biggest thing. It's kind of like a gym
work membership or losing weight or doing something new.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
You have to have accountability.

Speaker 3 (36:55):
And that's why I created the community, is because I'm
about the Arise community. Is because when I was in
this ten years ago and there was no one doing it.
It's so hard to stay committed and to believe. And
even when you called in everything and you've taken the
aligned action and you've done everything and you're in the abyss,
which is the time where we wait for the manifestation

(37:19):
to occur, it's hard. Bit I hate the most, and
so having being in a space that's safe and you
can just be like I am dying here, like my
patience is running out. What I do, and they're like,
go back to trust, go back to gratitude. Do like,
go back to the works. Such a helpful thing because

(37:41):
when you're out on your loan like an island and
you're in the abyss, you're like, it doesn't work. Fuck
this shit, I'm going back to my old job that
I hate. So yeah, I've created the thing I needed
the most and it's very impactful.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
So people can find it. Just if we want to
do a little fluggy blood plug.

Speaker 4 (38:00):
I think it's I think, oh my gosh, I should notice.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
I think it's a rise dot com dot a U
A R double I S E or on Instagram it's
a Rise A RI I double A S E Underscore
underscore underscore because I fucked up the first did you in.

Speaker 1 (38:19):
Charge of her?

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Come on, guys, guys, that's why you act like you're
terrible and then no one asks you to do things.

Speaker 4 (38:26):
It's a good, good technician, accomplishment woman.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
Okay, So I'm going to wrap this podcast up with
some advice that you would give to your younger self.
Let's say Zoe is it early twenties, she's just finding.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Her way through life.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
What would be the biggest nuggative wisdom that you would
in part on Younger.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
Zoh, it's going to get really really bad and then
it's going to get really really good. So just have
faith when you want to give up, but it gets
really good.

Speaker 4 (39:06):
Like just trust.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
So beautiful, Zoe, and so nice to reconnect with you today.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
I just love because you talk about.

Speaker 2 (39:13):
Evolving and how you love growth and all of that,
and I just feel like every time I see you,
you're like an upgraded version of yourself.

Speaker 4 (39:20):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (39:21):
It'd be terrible if I'd like gone backwards, right, You'd
be like, what a disappointment.

Speaker 4 (39:25):
No, but you are.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
But like you grow, you're just constantly shifting with putting
a challenge is to throw in your way. And I
always looked at you as an inspiration. So thank you
so much for coming on the podcast today.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
Thank you, beautiful girl. I can't wait to see you
in real life one day.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
Oh that was my chat with Zolley.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
I really hope you enjoyed it. Love to know what
you got out of that conversation the most. I think
some of my big takeaways were, they're getting up thirty
minutes earlier. It sounds like such a simple one, but
even when you put it like, oh, if you've got
to be tired, go to bed thirty minutes earlier.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
You know, you have to be.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
Strict on sleep. Like sleep at the end of the
day is it runs us like honestly, we.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Have to get strict on it. And I for one,
am very guilty at staying up too.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
Late watching TV, particularly lately, so that was a really
good reminder for me. And also I loved when she
was talking about being the gatekeeper for your energy and
being ruthless and really setting the boundaries of who gets
to come into your life, which, as she said, it
sounds you know, it can sound quite brash and rude
and brutal, but I mean, if you want to give

(40:39):
the best version of yourself, you have to get really
clear on who you want to bring into your world.
And then finally, I really liked that story about when
she hit that really shitty day and just letting go
when she hits the fan, instead of trying to fit

(41:00):
everything and going into just the biggest state of overwhelm,
actually removing himself from that situation and going to the beach,
going for a walk, whatever.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
It is, just getting out of that.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
Moment where the world feels like it's falling in, or
the sky feels like it's falling in, and actually stepping
back gives.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
You the other perspective.

Speaker 2 (41:20):
So I really like that not trying to push it
in those situations and just taking a deep breath and
realizing it's actually not the end.

Speaker 1 (41:30):
Of the world.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
But I would love to know what you got out
of the chat this week, and you can help me
up on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
PJDJ send me a little message.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
I'd love to know of any other people you think
would be great to get on for Slow It Down.
Thank you so much for joining me for my first episode.
I really appreciate it, and I'll see you next week.
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