November 4, 2021 • 52 mins
Stuck in an elevator...
Man applies to become a golddigger...
The meaning of “skit”...
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode of I'm your guest, Coastal
Dread and for kp Bless Meet everybody, Jolly. First up,
James Teney. James, you stand it for a long time.
What was your first board and when did you get it?
I got Oh god, I don't know. I got it
when I was twenty one years old. I do know that,
so I started way later than other people. And I
(00:25):
only got it because my now wife, then just person
I knew, had a skateboard and I was like, I'm
gonna learn to skateboard, so she thinks I'm a skater boy,
and uh I did. I It was hard. I fell
into a cactus pretty early on in the skating and
that was probably the second most painful injury I had.
(00:46):
It's like one of those cactuses that I don't even
know if it's considered a cactus, but has huge spikes
that are just impaling, but otherwise chema looks like a
point setta, and I skated right into it, like the
first week I had like an ala vera. Maybe do
they have like long, black like stabbing spikes at the end,
Yeah they can't, then that might be it. Yeah, such
(01:08):
a skater boy, real, see you later, boy, And I
used to skate past you all the time. That was
me learning going over will Shire when you were at
Second Spin? Did those were the days? I tell you.
Next up is Jackie Gonzalez DRUTHI. Okay, Jackie, did you
collect anything unusual when you're young? You know? My dad
(01:32):
started a stamp collection for me and my sister and
it's a lot of Disney stamps and they're really cool
and we've you know, when we were little. He'd add
to them. But it's nothing that we We didn't go
to any conventions or shops or any We didn't even
pick them out, you know, we were just kind of
given them as gifts. We still have the binders and
(01:55):
I recently took them and I have them here, um
and they're so cool. Again. I haven't added to it,
but I like that I have them. I don't want
to sell them, even though I do have duplicate, like
I have two of everything because I have my sisters
and mine. But I am curious as to like how
(02:17):
much they are worth because some of them are cool.
Ship I have like like Zimbabwe stamps with like Lion King.
I have those two I know exactly what you're talking about.
These aren't like I love. I love to look at them. Yeah,
I gotta go find those because I definitely clicked to
those and I was little tapes, so pretty amazing stuff.
(02:38):
Next up, it's Chris Alvarado. Chris, what's the most extreme
activity you've done or would consider doing? Well? I was, Um,
I wasn't a skater boy, but I wasn't an aggressive
inline skater boy. That means rollerblading, but aggressively um, you know,
(03:00):
kicking people in the face, rails, grinding rails and stuff
that was pretty extreme, funk. I am not an athlete.
I am just not an athlete. And I would like
break my wrisk like every three months, and like I
got to a point where I would like come home
holding my arm and my dad would be like, no,
I'm not going, and I going to know what the
hell the way it needs to heal? Um. Yeah, I
(03:21):
have a lot of fear cole So I was never
like a and never like a like adrenaline junkie. You
know what I mean. I'm scared and I'm not strong,
So thank you very much, Forting, I hear you. Next up,
it's Craig Katkowski Craig, is there a book you bailed
on like halfway through reading it? Many many books? Um,
(03:46):
Catch twenty two I think is the one for me
that like is supposed to be a classic and there's
like seventy characters and they're all fucking guys in the army.
And it's also like, uh, it's like a smarter you know,
nineteen sixties satire. It's like, I get it. That's so
funny that you said that. Because Jenny's reading it for
(04:07):
a book club right now. Every single person is bailing
on it. They're like halfway through. I'm not even kidding you,
Like it's tonight that they're doing the thing. And Jenny's like,
I'm just gonna read the last fifty pages because I
can't do this anymore. Watch either the movie or the
mini series. I like the movie. Yes, there you go.
That's really funny. Last up, Joey Greer Joey rumors out.
(04:30):
We hear you've been asked to create a new Mario
Brothers game. What is it? Oh? This is I'm so
freaking excited. So this is actually like it's the first
Mario VR experience. It's great. I'm working with Steam VR
and Oculus and all that, and it's gonna be insane.
Remember that Mario Tennis was pr right, No, I don't
remember that. Yeah, I'm a virtual boy. Okay, but what's
(04:54):
your I'm sorry, I'm excited some but you're you're working
with Steam. Joey's all right, Steam like Mario. Yes they did, James, No,
it's a surprising. I get a lot of questions with
the guy not working on the project. All right. They
asked me, James, they asked me to do this. So
you you play Toad and there has been this viral outbreak, right,
(05:16):
this is something called crazy. You don't know what it is.
And you're centered in in Mario City and you're part
of the Mario City Police Force, and you have to
figure out what's going on, all right, and and like oh,
everyone in Mario City is turning to the zombies. Is
this crazy virus? And like what's going on? And there's
a Bowser Corporation. Bowser Corporation has created the J virus.
(05:37):
And the J virus is this thing that like you know,
once it goes into the air, once it braces and
you and Haley turned to a zombie. So you're told
you gotta run through Mario City and it's all VR
and you have to just murder every single Mario character.
It's so much fun. We're gonna like bring back so
many um characters that like you didn't even think of anymore, Like, oh,
they just had it for a second. But it's great. Yeah.
(05:59):
So the first one is going to take place, um
actually in this like Bowser's Castle, So it's out in
the middle of the forest. You have to go there
and there's gonna be this whole secret thing. And then
the second game is gonna take and that's our show.
Everybody's Alchemists. After next Hey, let's do a damn show,
shall it. All of our scene suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails,
(06:20):
or from our Patreon v i P s. To become
a Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content
and other perks, just kind on over to patreon dot
com slash Alchemy this. If you'd like to submit a
scene suggestion via email, please write to the podcast that
our new email address Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
That's like that. See one is from Patreon and v
(06:47):
I P. Cory Booth, who wrote Seen for you. My
old friend stuck in an elevator. That is all love
you all all the door. Oh no, don't don't stop
holding the tour pushed the close button. Push, he's he's running,
he's running. You don't know this guy, like I know
this guy. You don't want him in here. And he's
still he's still not getting here. He is well, what
(07:12):
he does is he moves his arms and legs really fast,
so it looks like he's running, but he's just walking.
He's doing like that Tom Cruise run. It's ridiculous. Close
the door. He is not getting any closing. I'm gonna
be late. I cannot be late again. I'm on my
this is my third right up. If I'm late, those
ritips are not cool. By the way, Like we're not
(07:35):
in school, yeah any school. We're not in school. We're professionals. Okay,
I'm gonna let it go. That's this guy's next getting
now he's close. Now he'll just be able to relatively close.
Like he's like jogging right in front of the elevator.
Come inside, please just get in here. Okay, we got it.
(07:58):
You're in. You're in. I forgot my wallet. Hold up, no,
I'm hitting the closed door. But nothing's happening. Uh, I'm sorry, Gail.
I don't know why the car is not coming. It's
been in the lobby for about twenty minutes. I keep
pressing the things. Should we just take the stairs down?
(08:22):
I'm not walking. I mean it's down, Gail, it's not
that far down. We could just go down and I'm
not walking. We'll continue to press it, but you know
we're anyway. Well, but like I was saying, I thought
tennis would be easy or a good time. I'm finding
it to be very difficult and not fun at all. Well,
(08:44):
you know, tennis, it's one of those sports that you
think you have a handle on and then it's just
way more difficult than we were pressed it. Let me
appreciate one more him. Where were we tennis? Oh? Yeah,
ten Sorry? Uh, I mean but you're you're a golf man.
I have a golf man. But that is a that
(09:05):
is a cruel sport. All the door. Jesus, this is crazy.
Why want this close? God, I'm going to be late again.
Uh really judges me when I'm late. You don't know.
They converted the stairs to slide, so of like we
can't go up now you can go down. Oh my god,
(09:26):
that sounds like so much fun, if only we could
get up all the Doorkay, you're in the elevator door.
And she walked out, you know, and I said, you know,
I know we're not in love anymore. How long have
you guys been waiting for the elevator? About thirty minutes? Now,
(09:48):
I mean, that's really unfortunate. Gal, I uh sure you
sure he wants to stick the slide down? I think
I don't think it will be too difficult for us.
It's gotta be coming any moment now, right you it think? Well,
the door, you're in here, You're in here, Nancy, I'm
so sorry I'm late, And what's up your hands and
(10:14):
elbows and like you're you're bleeding? Are you okay? Or
did you climb the stairs or the slide? Oh my god,
I can't. Yeah, it was um try. It was hard
to do um but I did it. And that shows commitment,
doesn't it. It shows my commitment to you, Peter, that
I would climb up a slide to get to our
(10:34):
counseling appointment. I'm here, I'm here for what I'm talking about.
This is what I'm talking about. Well, you only have
a little bit time left, so I don't know how
deep we're gonna be able to get to it. Um,
but um, I've asked Peter to not talk to me
this entire time, just had respect to you. So uh,
(10:54):
maybe you want to just get into what has happened
recently or what we talked about last time about not
able to by that bird because it was gonna be
a nuisance? Is that? Is that right? If I remember correctly, Yeah,
let's pick it up at the bird. She won't sleep
with me. And I was like, I have tried rebooting
(11:15):
the computer. I've tried it several times, but of course
you have. They kept wanting me to do that. I
was like, you know, I'm not an amateur. This isn't
my first day at a computer. That's good, right, And
they transferred me. They transferred me again. The first thing,
if we push the up button, we'll cutch it when
it's growing up, and then we'll just take it down afterwards.
(11:39):
I mean, sure yourself, help me up the slide. Okay,
we can't help you up the slide, all right? Coming
down off the somebody's coming down, Help me up the slide?
(12:00):
Where did he go? I hear his voice? You'll want
to use this rope. I can hear her. I can
hear her on her phone at night, so she says
good night, and I said good night, and then I
roll over, and then I can I can hear I
found a state up later I stay, I'm just I'm
on night. Go to sleep with me, me to be
(12:22):
asleep at the same time that we can be a union.
I thought we were a kid. The doctor has rescheduled.
You have next Thursday the same time, so thank you. Well,
Oh did Nancy leave in the middle of our session. No,
you've been out of your session for a while. You've
been down the lobby for a couple of minutes to
(12:43):
screaming age other, look and you please just sign out here. God,
we went into like a fugue state again. Hey, hey,
can I see something? Are you talking to me? I
enjoyed being in that state with you. Are you talking
to me? All right? I felt like we were really
we were we were one, We were a unit. We
didn't even know that we changed location. It wasn't Lasagna
and McAvoy, it was us. It was just us. It
(13:07):
was just Peter and Tina. Oh, I'm just a couple
of minutes late. Sorry, I'm I can catch up real quick.
I get the computer booted up. Okay, it's as if
I was here on time when I when I doubled
down my efforts at the beginning of my job. It's
(13:28):
like I wasn't late, you know. Oh, I guess it's
a quarter past. Yeah, you were late again. Yeah, but
it's just by I mean, I'm actually nothing, Hastes, we've talked.
Somebody's gonna get written up. Shut up, this is your
third infraction. I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to ask
(13:49):
you to leave. What right? Him? Up? Right? Get it?
I don't get another Right up, it's over. I'm done here.
Three right ups, equal, You're gone. You're way too happy
about this. I got kids. Well I think I love
you too, if I'm being honest, Well, are you trying
(14:13):
to me or oh no, sorry, I just have you
pressed the down button or the down button? I know
it's not. I've been wanting to tell you for a
long time, and especially at the time we spent here
right now, just delving so deep into each other's souls
that I just I feel like maybe this is a
(14:35):
connection we should explore. You're single now, you know she
left you and I've been a bachelor for a little while.
As you know, too long, if you long too long,
too long, you just want you know what really solidified
it for me? What was that you said? This isn't
my first day at a computer. It's just funny. I
(14:57):
need that in my life. Thanks go. You know, I
try to bring love to every situation. Has the elevator
been taking a long time or been here for at
least forty five minutes? Minutes? For me? Hell, this is uh,
this is Anton from We'll always have parrots. I get
the parrot you ordered. I think I'm great. Yes you can,
just you can bring it on inside. That's a big cage.
(15:21):
It's a big cage for a big parrot. Parrot, I
forget about it. So this parrot comes preloaded with some
some phrases. You got to teach some other phrases. But
to get about it, gorgeous. Stop my fucking dick. Whoa,
(15:43):
I'm sorry, that's a bit much. You're you said a
no kids, right, because you know we we have a
more family friendly parts. But I figured you know a
couple of adults. You know it's I'm gonna say anything
you haven't heard before. We are I'm gonna cut your
head off, piece of ship. Whoa. Um, just because we
don't have kids doesn't mean that we should get the
(16:05):
violent bird. And this golden macaw is as an animal.
But I'm the boss of the Calamari crime family. Yes,
so he isn't. But he was. He was a bird
at the Calamari Crime He was a part, he lived,
he was a pet of Ah. Yeah, oh my god,
(16:26):
Hoppy doesn't have any information that might put us in danger.
See what's this? All I know is you pre ordered this, Barrett,
I'm living in now. I need you to sign here.
Let me give you a tip. Let me give you
everybody in this room is fucking dead. What he how
to open this cage right there that hold a weapon?
(16:50):
You know, it's no threat. You know, it's just a
lot of talk. It's a lot of talk. I just
I just remember that news story from seven years ago
about that one um Russian guy who got his eyes
poked out, and they said that it looked as if
they were beaked out, and that he had claw scratches
all over the rest of his face in that Yeah, yeah,
(17:10):
that's a conspiracy theory. I don't pay attention to that. Stuff.
You know, I've been trying to kill your bitch. You can.
You can teach your mother phrases, you know. Okay, Oh,
it's um, it's open. I don't I don't want to
(17:31):
go down. I want to spend some of our time here.
I don't want to go down either. Don't get out
of the way. Oh, my fucking what is your deal?
My deal? My deal is for the last thirty years,
I've been working for someone I don't respect. I was
living with somebody who didn't love me. Okay, and this
(17:53):
morning you're looking at somebody who's bad at tennis but
finally good in love. That's my deal. Which your deal?
My deal is that some asshole just blocked me from
going home. All right, you man? You slides out of order?
Slide down? Yeah, well, I have a very sensitive backside. Okay,
(18:17):
what very sensitive backside? Jinks? You guys are that together?
The slide is indoors, it's not in the sun, it's
not hot. Just slide right, right, you thank his little bottom.
(18:40):
Little little bottom, we've gotten rid of corporate punishment. I'm
not allowed to do that, all right, No, I'll take
a spanking. Just don't fire me. You're not gonna assume me. Kyle,
you're fired. No, don't fire me. I'll take a spanking.
I don't, Kyle. I'm sorry. You've been late three times.
I'm sorry. You know the rules here. I'll take my part. Kyle, Um,
(19:06):
did you get rent or no? Did you go to
the bank today? Are no? No? I didn't. This fucking guy.
Oh god, they goddamn parrot got parrot? We gotta can
we please? Can we please bring this parrot to look
a shelter, Kyle, this sweetamily parrot. I lost my job.
(19:28):
I lost my job, but this is a giant parrot
we got. I agree a parrot. I agree. I kiss
your wife when you're gone. Why don't say things like this.
It's just gots preloaded, It's reloaded. We gotta give it up.
It's too big. It's a giant parrot a bus. You
(19:51):
sure you want me to get rid of these thirty
five parrots you keep in your office? Yeah? I do.
You're thirty five. You can't for these that they would
just little because what do you say? You saying I'm dumb?
I told you get rid of them, all right, Okay,
if you want, I know, uh, you know, I've got
(20:12):
a parent fence. I can take them to call them
crime phim. Hey baby, Um, we're net with the bird.
But still, and I'm gonna say, I feel close, I
feel connected. I feel Oh thank god. I thought you'd
be so weirded out when I started. You're wearing a
fucking wire when he started left kissing it. Getting close
(20:40):
to the bird. Yeah, getting close, That's what I said,
getting close to the bird. I'm just getting close to bird. No.
I think it's honestly, yeah, I think that's right. Ali
wants them cocaine. I don't think we need to go
back to therapy. Is that saying too much? I I
(21:00):
don't think that's saying too much. I think that's saying exactly.
It's saying exactly what's right. So I'll sleep on the
couch tonight so you can keep him like, make sure
he's like he gets those welcome you so much. Yeah. Um,
this is my first time at a meeting like this. Hi,
(21:21):
I'm Linda, Linda, and I've been in love with my
bird for weeks? What what? What kind of group do
you think this is? And C two is for listener markets?
(21:51):
You're out, so Kevin, you claimed at a poker game
in February that the movie Sliver wasn't a hit with
it's a hundred and thirty eight million dollar box office.
If I did a movie that earned that good in
I would call that a hit. Well, enough about you.
My scene to you is a man applying to become
a gold digger. Have fun. I know I will. Yeah,
(22:13):
how can I he help you? Well, I I was
wondering if you guys were hiring. Oh yeah, well, Horran,
what's your previous work experience? Well, he used to be
a millionaire, so I was really good with money. Um,
usually it was in bills, but I'm sure it was
(22:34):
backed with gold. And you know Fort Knox used to
be a millionaire. And you'll go with money and why
are you here? Well, I was I wanted to dig gold?
Or is this not a mine? Is this not a
mining facility? I'm just confused about what you used to
be a millionaire? And now you want my sad story.
(22:56):
I'm broke, Okay, I'm fucking broke. I used to be
a millionaire, so trust me, I know how to be
around gold. Oh I'm sorry to say your assets are gone.
They're frozen. It's the frozen or they're gone. Well there
they're gone, and well you had left was frozen. It
(23:17):
seems like Macaw Syndicate took it all. Uh, what are
the odds of the frozen stuff is gonna thought? I
don't I'm not sure. It's not looking good you. And
what I'm saying is you probably need to find a
better way to uh make some money at the moment,
or it's just it's not looking good. Everything's gonna be
(23:38):
taken away, definitely if you that'll be gone. Guy. Okay,
I'm just a representative for them because Okay, now they
can't speak in the way they that we do, but
of course they can repeat. So the things that I've
been told to repeat to you is if you don't
get the money for him, well they don't take your bones,
(23:59):
bones us in the money. No, you're human, bones are
gonna take your bones. Look, man, what you gotta do
is you gotta get yourself a lady, you know, someone
who can take care of you, take care of some
of your bills. Look at me and watch Hey dad,
I'm watching proof. She's watching her show. But she'll bind
(24:21):
me whatever I want. Like, what what do you think?
What do you think Brenda is gonna think? If I
it's getting lad think of it as a job. Don't
you need a job? Don't you need money? Uh huh?
So can I have a shard anay? Thank you? And
can I have um a mocktail of your surprise coming
(24:47):
right up? Thank you? What a freaking week? Okay, I
don't work, but if I couldn't have mad because the
week that I have being someone who doesn't work, it
feels like a lot of fucking work, you know, mm
(25:08):
hm hmm my h o way board. It's just it's
racking up the racking up the fees. They keep calling
me asking me to be the secretary of the meeting.
And you know I had that problem with my fingers.
I am waiting for somebody, So I'm sorry. Am I
(25:28):
disturbing you? No? Here's your wine and here's your pickles
fashioned it's pickle juice with a sugar cube. That's my favorite. Wonderful.
I knew a surprise. We've lift up my spirits after
such a hard week. My parent, my my parent, my
parrots from my freaking neighbors, my parent neighbors. So how
(25:51):
did it go? Okay? Alright, alright, I gotta I gotta
iron some things out with you. First of all, right,
I know you lost your ship. I know you're sucking
married Bob. I know you have been applying for jobs, right,
but I did tell pretty much a shoe in for
one of them. Okay, what what is it? Let's just
say I'm going to be a gold digger. Okay, but
(26:13):
I gotta clarify something with you, because I know you
take things literally. What do you mean by that? Well,
there's this prospect or the dude I set you up
with the date I set you up with the woman
I didn't go to date. I'm this is this is
a great spot. Oh my god, how are you? This
(26:36):
is so weird. How do you do? You know? Dev
and all that? That brought me over from the bar.
We were hanging out and she said to come over
because there's more drinks. Seriously, you know that you could
make a best friend in one night. Isn't that amazing?
We had so much in common. She was really locked
in at first, but then I started complaining about the
(26:58):
stick and parents next door. I just, oh my god,
I complete forgot about Yeah, well I had a stupid date,
stand me up, but this like debmated all the better.
Thank you so much. That women empowering women. Here's my resume.
I hope I get the job. She here good. I've
(27:20):
had several years experience with a donkey and I already
have long John's on it. And now it says she
that you were a former millionaire. Yes that was man.
You're you're good with gold, that right? Yes, yes, I'm
good at scrolling it away. I'm good at and holding
(27:42):
it up and let it glick in the sun. But
the former, what what happened? But what what happened to
the money that's mine? Sometimes he getting deep for the
exactic birds. I know that. All right, Well here's your
claim and here's your pick. I'll make you proud. Well, Dad,
(28:08):
maybe you when I should head home and let these
two get acquainted. Well, this is depth home. I don't know. Yeah,
and I really I mean to get home to the
bedroom home. Just shall we leave? No? You do stay relaxed,
right dead? Yeah that's what you gotta do. Yeah, Yes,
(28:30):
I don't know. I just met this guy. I don't know.
If you're saying you're in our home, you're in her home. Yeah.
I always assumed I was safe, but I think that
I wasn't safe. Various things a woman. Could hear that
makes me feel like it's the opposite. Can I just
ask one thing? You know what, I'm staying down here
with my thank you, thank you? How rich is she?
(28:54):
That is a very rude question to ask. Dude, this
is a very rude question asked that was that was
sick to hear. Oh, I'm sorry, but I was under
the impression that I was supposed to live off of
her money, my money, Francesca's money. Who are you? I
don't know what is it? Well? That sure is a
sad story. Uh. I'm not totally sure what the depth
(29:18):
subplot had to do with with your story. But anyway,
it's a lot of panning mostly well, you know, it's less.
It's kind of a misnomer. We don't dig so much.
We do a lot of panning. You see, I'm getting
a lot of pie write here. Which is it looks
like gold? It's it does look like gold, but it's
fool's gold. I'm taking some of that. It's not worthless.
(29:42):
It's worthless. Okay, And let me just see the gold, yep,
and they we'll be able to wait and giving this
here you go? Do you tell the birds are quite alright?
Let's just see here. Okay, that should pretty much. Are
you sucking with me? That's you pretty much square, even
(30:03):
the debt? I owe you? Are you fucking with me?
Did you come in here today say I'm gonna sunk
with me? Okay, you can have some more here. This
is every little bit of gold. I sneeze on you.
I sneeze on you, buddy, all right? Was right in
my face? Yeah, it was because of what you did
to me. You want to come here with this bullshit pie? Right? Huh?
(30:28):
You're fucking with me. The birds are gonna take your bones, buddy.
They think you're fucking bones. Buddy. I understood the dev storyline.
What did you talk to these birds separately? I waited
for a while for you, rough day. Huh. Here take
(30:51):
a swig out of this joke with three xtras on it?
All right? M oh, oh my god. That's the good stuff,
is it? Oh? It's it's just a river water. What
(31:12):
a little bit of pickle? Oh my god? The beans already,
the beans already already in. Isn't there going to be
something with the beans? It's not just beans, is it?
What do you need beans? I'm sorry, I just used
(31:33):
to have a lot of When I used to eat,
when I was a millionaire, we'd have a plate that
had beans, potatoes, a mead, a different vegetable, meat, different
it had on me. It was like a menagerie of food.
(31:54):
What's a vegetable? Vegetable? It's uh, well sometimes it's corn sometimes,
you know, but I guess beans of this be's good.
It's all you need. Son, I had some venice there once.
It was full of buckshot. Now we're like, I don't
want this ever again for me too, too. Holy sh it, man,
(32:20):
you look great? What is that a new suit? Versacchi?
Geez man, you are done well for yourself. Well, it's
a full suit. So what's that? It's I'm glad that
you see what you see, but it's a full suit.
It's not real VERSACCEI what I was being honest with you?
(32:45):
You thought it was real? Right? Yeah, but you know
table for two? Is that correct? No? I gotta get
I gotta get going. Okay, what are you still hated
with us or not? Well, it's depends on if he's
gonna stay because I can't pay for you can't pay, well,
(33:06):
then you can't either, young man, young man, are there
any uh, you know money money, money moneys, money maidens
at the bar tonight, money maidens. You know, yeah, you know, yeah,
I have three years prior experience. Now those three years
(33:30):
or twenty years ago, but I think I can enter
back into the job force. Uh as if it was
twenty years ago. Well, it's just here that you're a
current millionaire. Is that correct? I have a current millionaire
and I'm looking to be a money made Okay, well,
but I do have a significant other. Is that Is
(33:52):
that going to be a problem? How? I don't think so.
If you have more people to work to claim, the better.
So here's a claim ticket. Here's your pick. Uh. I
hope this helps you be a money made And I
don't know. I'm just here to give out gold digging claims.
I must be in the wrong. I gotta be in
the wrong office. Day I've had, I can't believe I'm
(34:16):
going to the wrong office and my first time attempting
to get a job. Can you imagine when I actually
have a job to complain about? Diember you can start
working here. Well, I'm trying to get back into the
workforce because I'm just I'm being driven mad, staying in
my apartment, listening to the damn neighbors birds. One of
(34:37):
them got a dog that's even louder. You know, I
like commercial breaks. I want to hear the jingles, so
it matters. One of those commercial breaks now threes from
(34:59):
listener Chris didn't tell it. He wrote just one this month,
as I am much too busy procrastinating my school work
to properly create scene suggestions right now. One. I've noticed
that comedians seem to get offended when people refer to
their work as skits for reasons that are not obvious
to non comedians. Did you guys do a scene that
explains for the to the rest of us about skits
(35:21):
and sketches and routines and acts and bits. Alright, campers,
who is ready to have the best summer ever? Maybe? Yeah?
Alright you too? How about the rest of you? I
mean ideally, Yeah, I mean I'm only eleven, so I've
(35:45):
only had ten summers. I don't remember most of them. Yeah,
this is gonna be the best camp Wanna Ghana is
the premier place to be in the summer. And you
know why what's going on? Because we've got so many
activities high ropes, course, low ropes, course, river rafting, horseback riding, skits.
(36:09):
We do skits. Oh wait a second, Um, I don't
do skits. What does that mean? Why? You know? Like
one of you will lay on the floor and the
other one will lay on their stomach, and then one
of you the legs and the other ones talking. It's fun.
(36:33):
I'm gonna be one of the legs, I kid, I
heard you. Uh, we're in a fan of skits. No,
I mean I'm in my sixth grade improv troup. Oh,
chicken wing for you buddy there? Yeah, you know, I
mean a couple of other cooks. Uh, we do sketches.
You do sketches. Chicken wing for you, buddy there? How
(36:55):
do I get in this group? I don't know. I
don't know if we're gonna have I mean, I've got
a writing packet. How do you do? Yeah, you know,
just in case. Uh, let me take a look at this. Okay,
I heard you got a kid who wants to join
up hunting this. Uh, dude, check it out. He got
himself an own riding back who all right, let me
taking a look at that too. Hey this heightens nicely. Yeah,
(37:19):
good bit. Well you can tell already on the first page,
you established a clear bit and then you progress it bit.
Because the way I see it is we'll do skits
together and that'll make us an act. What do you
think you'll be a leg? I'll be a leg. Yeah,
but we need like okay, guys, hey, hi, hi, anybody. Hi,
(37:44):
I'm John. I'll be the counselor here at squirrel Bunk.
Where's your shirt? Where's my shirt? Why don't you shut
the hell up? This is squirrel Bunk, all right, and
when we're here, we're in a different camp. Do you
understand that? Uh? Okay, okay, great, Now, I know everyone
got money from their parents with the vending machines. Let
(38:05):
me see it. Uh, let me see it. My name
is John, I run the squirrel Book. Let me see
the money. Well, we're in act. Just let you know.
Oh yeah, oh I love acts. Okay, what my favorite
act is when I get the fucking money. So give
me give me. Your feet are really dirty? Oh yeah
(38:29):
they are, maybe because I live in the woods. Give
me a goddamn wait, are you not an actual counselor?
Oh he's got my tenny pack. Now just leave it.
Let me go, let me go. We'll use this as
a material for our but that's what's all the money
for the whole is going to break up. No, no, no, no, no,
well well no, no no, please don't, please don't. I'm
(38:50):
gonna be late. I'm so sun No. Let me start
from the top, from the top, so sorry, that's what
I wanted. Sorry, don't repolicize, just go, just go. Okay.
Can I just say I do have some revisions on this.
Oh my god, oh my god, just do it, do it? Okay,
(39:15):
no problem. Um knock knock, knock, knock. I'm at your door,
not knock, not so tell me more. Here's some gum.
Don't chew it up? Oh no, threw up? Stops up? Raymond?
Can you get in there? Please? Can you help them? Raymond? Please? Um? Okay,
(39:35):
all right? Should we just take it from the top
we can, okay, professionals, I'm I'm an amateur. Uh Raymond
stop stop Raymond Lucas, can you get in there and
help Raymond? Please? No, no, no, How does an amateur
become a professional if they don't get to Raymond enough?
(39:58):
I got I got it, I got it, you know, guys,
I'm a pro with this. My brother did a bunch
of skits for Homecoming. He's the quarterback. He wears a
wig and goofs around and it's a riot, so I'll
be great in the skit. Okay, well, just as we know,
we're starting off with the song. This is a review
after all, so I just want to make sure we're
all in the same page. Please look us, help us out. Mhm. Knock, knock,
(40:23):
knock on your door. Knock, knock, knock, Please tell me more. Knock, knock, knock.
I had some gum used to stop something. What do
you do? You're just ogg Can you get in there
and help Lucas Blues? Can I just say, this doesn't
seem very fair. They're saying it's a review, but this
is the first time I've seen this material. It was
(40:45):
Please help him. Please. Alright, guys, get ready frogged and
coming in. Okay, here you go. Alright, alright, what's your
motivation here to make the audience laugh? No, no, that's
gonna be the result ideally. What's the motivation of your
(41:06):
character to have people like me? No? No, that's you,
that's you the character. Who are you playing myself? Okay,
all right, I haven't seen the script. Okay, wait, hold on,
are you playing yourself? Where are you playing someone that
has come to doing a skit? What are we talking
about here? I think I think Oggens trying to elevate
(41:28):
us to another level. Perhaps honestly, after hearing Ogden's coaching,
I think I could give it another shot. I feel
like it's elevated me. I don't know, guys, I was
just excited to take part in a big time goof,
you know, but have some fun. That's funny. Okay. I'm
(41:53):
looking at the script now and the formatting is all fucked.
What do you mean that was this done on final draft? Um? No,
I know I asked a question where I know the
answer It wasn't. All right. Everybody, welcome to a corn bunk.
If you ladies need anything, you gotta come to me,
(42:15):
all right, because that's how we are here in the wilderness.
We're wild and free. Who's gonna tell me to wear
a shirt? Not me? That's right, because I make the rules.
I'm in charge. I'm the counselor, and I'm here to
help you have fun. If anyone needs tampons or pads,
(42:37):
that's gonna be here in this trunk, right yep. Living
in the woods once you walk around for long enough,
you form callouses, and it's actually the most natural and
beautiful way to walk around life, because then I can
go anywhere and not have a problem. The shoes are
making my hometown. What is it made of glass? What
(42:59):
does that mean? It just means that if she showed
up with no shirt and dirty feet like that, she
wouldn't be allowed in the gas station. Right, Ogden, We're
gonna start you as a featured player this season. Okay,
you're gonna tail around Edie Bryant. She's gonna show you
(43:19):
how everything works here. All right, Okay, thanks, Lauren, no problem.
Let me know if you have any more questions. Okay,
I'll just be in my office. I'm available to you
if you need me. Okay, then, okay, thanks big guy.
You got it. Your writing packet was incredible. It was
incredible the way you heightened. Oh boy, right, so good? Okay,
(43:46):
I can't tell if the conversations over and O good buddy,
come here? How are you man? How are you? Uh? So?
I heard we got a phenomena leven year old Freako
coming into the big league. Yeah, I'm coming right off
of summer at camp. Wanna ghana? Yeah? So we heard.
And just so you know, uh, this this environment can
(44:07):
eat people a louve man, they're cann't really funk with
your head. So just you know, you're eleven years old,
You're still developing as a human being, so you know,
maybe this is the right fit for you. I've heard
about you guys coming in trying to intimidate the new kids,
and uh, I'm not gonna be intimidated. Okay, now you're not.
I've got five ideas. I'm gonna pitch the Chance of
the Rapper tomorrow and you're not gonna talk to anybody.
(44:29):
You've got these little ship I'm odd the writing staff.
How are you gonna write? If you pissed your pants?
What it looks like? I've just pissed his pants. You
just sprayed me with a spray gun on my crotch.
Oh the funk with me? Okay, not big time? And
(44:50):
how long have you been here? Hi? Didn't your mom
and dad Sweeter say Hi? It's Ogden on the phone
not saying hi to him? Okay, so how is it?
How thirty rock? Um? I don't know. I don't know
if I belong here? Oh, yes you do. You know
what I'll send you some cookies. That would help. So
(45:12):
tell me the names of your friends. Who's your best friend? UM?
Probably Keenan so far? Oh nice? Keenan sounds nice. Yeah,
he's been here for twenty years. Twenty years, Wow, babe,
one of the one of the writer has been there
for twenty years. Really do want to get on the phone.
He's not, he says. He says, no son of his
(45:34):
will make a living doing skits. They're not skits. They're
not skits. Put him on, Put him on, sweetheart. He says,
they're not skins. Okay, you're on speaker. I write scenes, father,
I write scenes, sketches. They're not skits. Okay, skits for camp.
(45:55):
I'm beyond camp. Now you just left amp Gowana. I
want to go. I don't know what you don't even
know the name of my camps. That's the show. It
will ship And what I saw was a bunch of skits.
And now you're thirty rock Well you used to sound confident,
(46:16):
Now you sound broken. Thanks for coming in. UM. I
read your latest sketch in UM. Although it has some
funny moments, the whole deb subplot really lost us. So
we're gonna send you back to camp. We need you
to get some more experience with skits. Uh, and then
you can come to Lord. Did you just call call
(46:37):
them skits for you, because right now you're at skit level. No. No,
I've moved beyond skits. I've moved beyond skits. I mean
that deb thing was slightly off game. But all right, campers, um,
you are now in the buffalo bunk makes some buffalo noises. Hey,
you don't counselors. We're all counselors in here. Okay, I excited.
(46:59):
I know. Look, here's why I called this this meeting.
You know, there's a lot of competition right now out there.
You know, all the kids are trying to write better
and better and funnier than the other kids, and the
songs and stuff. Why don't we go back to the
roots of it all. Why don't we go back to
the original idea generator. That machine hasn't been turned on
(47:20):
for years. I'm talking about the improv machine. Oh, put
the pencils down, put the final drift down. Put down.
Here's the thing. We're paying a lot of staff members
to be running a lot of different programs here. So
if we keep on just harping on the one. We're
paying for a bunch of horses for nothing. We're paying
(47:41):
for canoes for nothing. I mean these kids, some of
those horses have been stolen and apparently in I think
in the scrub Bunk kids got robbed. Do you understand
what this camp has turned into? This is the former
link for former league, for the generator for the future
generations of writers and performers. Here, you're correct, we need
(48:01):
to go back to ours. We need to go back
to improv I got a suggestion, how about um, a
man applies to become a gold digger. That's too convoluted.
I don't want to tell the whole story you about
just something the point of inspirations? Oh man, we did.
(48:23):
We changed comedy guys. The difference now right. That skit
was brought to see you by the following alchemists. Chris Alvarado. Yeah,
thank you for having me. Um. Check out my other
podcast to Comedy Figs, where we just you know, funk
around with ideas in comedy and performance. And I want
to say one more thing. Oh yeah, the way, if
(48:44):
you if you are in California, if you're in the
Los Angeles area, the West Side Comedy Theater is you
know coming back. We're doing shows again. We're doing live
in person shows. Um, must be vaccinated the mask. Of course,
we're trying to keep it as safe as possible. But
a lot of us here in this on this podcast today,
we'll be performing there soon. So you know, if you're
(49:05):
come check us out. Go to Westside Comedy dot com
for uh schedules. Yeah, definitely come back. Things are happening,
as they say, Craig Tkakowski. Hey, Sex Lives of College
Girls will premiere on HBO Max November. Uh, it's not
about me. I'm in two episodes. Um, I mean I am.
(49:26):
I am not a college student, nor a girl, nor
having sex. Uh. But my wife uh confirmed not that
that's not that's going on. My wife watched the trailer.
It confirmed at the show she would watch even if
I wasn't on it. Okay, that looks funny. It looks funny.
(49:47):
Jackie Gonzalez Dar Ruthie Wow, of course, James t everybody
(50:21):
on November six, thanks neither. Uh, well, the mean I
can't wait for Sketch Fest either. I'm so excited for
it on November six at Bruce City in El Segundo.
I'm gonna be doing stand up at eight pm, so
that might be enough time for this will air before that.
(50:44):
If you live in the l A area on November,
check out some stand up at Bruce City. Yeah, November
sixte James might have enough time to come up with
a set, so just run out there check it out.
I do want to end with a little song at
the s add your own lyrics to that, but that's
(51:09):
like they're really that's the foundation of the song. Solf
out with that great I'm at Cole Stratton at Stratton
Cole s sketch beest dot com or coming back in January.
Let's give it up for engineer, producer Doug Babe and
the fine folks at I Heart Media dot com. Please
(51:29):
write to us at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
That's dot com. Until next time.
Welcome back to another episode of I'm your guest, Coastal
Dread and for kp Bless Meet everybody, Jolly. First up,
James Teney. James, you stand it for a long time.
What was your first board and when did you get it?
I got Oh god, I don't know. I got it
when I was twenty one years old. I do know that,
so I started way later than other people. And I
(00:25):
only got it because my now wife, then just person
I knew, had a skateboard and I was like, I'm
gonna learn to skateboard, so she thinks I'm a skater boy,
and uh I did. I It was hard. I fell
into a cactus pretty early on in the skating and
that was probably the second most painful injury I had.
(00:46):
It's like one of those cactuses that I don't even
know if it's considered a cactus, but has huge spikes
that are just impaling, but otherwise chema looks like a
point setta, and I skated right into it, like the
first week I had like an ala vera. Maybe do
they have like long, black like stabbing spikes at the end,
Yeah they can't, then that might be it. Yeah, such
(01:08):
a skater boy, real, see you later, boy, And I
used to skate past you all the time. That was
me learning going over will Shire when you were at
Second Spin? Did those were the days? I tell you.
Next up is Jackie Gonzalez DRUTHI. Okay, Jackie, did you
collect anything unusual when you're young? You know? My dad
(01:32):
started a stamp collection for me and my sister and
it's a lot of Disney stamps and they're really cool
and we've you know, when we were little. He'd add
to them. But it's nothing that we We didn't go
to any conventions or shops or any We didn't even
pick them out, you know, we were just kind of
given them as gifts. We still have the binders and
(01:55):
I recently took them and I have them here, um
and they're so cool. Again. I haven't added to it,
but I like that I have them. I don't want
to sell them, even though I do have duplicate, like
I have two of everything because I have my sisters
and mine. But I am curious as to like how
(02:17):
much they are worth because some of them are cool.
Ship I have like like Zimbabwe stamps with like Lion King.
I have those two I know exactly what you're talking about.
These aren't like I love. I love to look at them. Yeah,
I gotta go find those because I definitely clicked to
those and I was little tapes, so pretty amazing stuff.
(02:38):
Next up, it's Chris Alvarado. Chris, what's the most extreme
activity you've done or would consider doing? Well? I was, Um,
I wasn't a skater boy, but I wasn't an aggressive
inline skater boy. That means rollerblading, but aggressively um, you know,
(03:00):
kicking people in the face, rails, grinding rails and stuff
that was pretty extreme, funk. I am not an athlete.
I am just not an athlete. And I would like
break my wrisk like every three months, and like I
got to a point where I would like come home
holding my arm and my dad would be like, no,
I'm not going, and I going to know what the
hell the way it needs to heal? Um. Yeah, I
(03:21):
have a lot of fear cole So I was never
like a and never like a like adrenaline junkie. You
know what I mean. I'm scared and I'm not strong,
So thank you very much, Forting, I hear you. Next up,
it's Craig Katkowski Craig, is there a book you bailed
on like halfway through reading it? Many many books? Um,
(03:46):
Catch twenty two I think is the one for me
that like is supposed to be a classic and there's
like seventy characters and they're all fucking guys in the army.
And it's also like, uh, it's like a smarter you know,
nineteen sixties satire. It's like, I get it. That's so
funny that you said that. Because Jenny's reading it for
(04:07):
a book club right now. Every single person is bailing
on it. They're like halfway through. I'm not even kidding you,
Like it's tonight that they're doing the thing. And Jenny's like,
I'm just gonna read the last fifty pages because I
can't do this anymore. Watch either the movie or the
mini series. I like the movie. Yes, there you go.
That's really funny. Last up, Joey Greer Joey rumors out.
(04:30):
We hear you've been asked to create a new Mario
Brothers game. What is it? Oh? This is I'm so
freaking excited. So this is actually like it's the first
Mario VR experience. It's great. I'm working with Steam VR
and Oculus and all that, and it's gonna be insane.
Remember that Mario Tennis was pr right, No, I don't
remember that. Yeah, I'm a virtual boy. Okay, but what's
(04:54):
your I'm sorry, I'm excited some but you're you're working
with Steam. Joey's all right, Steam like Mario. Yes they did, James, No,
it's a surprising. I get a lot of questions with
the guy not working on the project. All right. They
asked me, James, they asked me to do this. So
you you play Toad and there has been this viral outbreak, right,
(05:16):
this is something called crazy. You don't know what it is.
And you're centered in in Mario City and you're part
of the Mario City Police Force, and you have to
figure out what's going on, all right, and and like oh,
everyone in Mario City is turning to the zombies. Is
this crazy virus? And like what's going on? And there's
a Bowser Corporation. Bowser Corporation has created the J virus.
(05:37):
And the J virus is this thing that like you know,
once it goes into the air, once it braces and
you and Haley turned to a zombie. So you're told
you gotta run through Mario City and it's all VR
and you have to just murder every single Mario character.
It's so much fun. We're gonna like bring back so
many um characters that like you didn't even think of anymore, Like, oh,
they just had it for a second. But it's great. Yeah.
(05:59):
So the first one is going to take place, um
actually in this like Bowser's Castle, So it's out in
the middle of the forest. You have to go there
and there's gonna be this whole secret thing. And then
the second game is gonna take and that's our show.
Everybody's Alchemists. After next Hey, let's do a damn show,
shall it. All of our scene suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails,
(06:20):
or from our Patreon v i P s. To become
a Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content
and other perks, just kind on over to patreon dot
com slash Alchemy this. If you'd like to submit a
scene suggestion via email, please write to the podcast that
our new email address Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
That's like that. See one is from Patreon and v
(06:47):
I P. Cory Booth, who wrote Seen for you. My
old friend stuck in an elevator. That is all love
you all all the door. Oh no, don't don't stop
holding the tour pushed the close button. Push, he's he's running,
he's running. You don't know this guy, like I know
this guy. You don't want him in here. And he's
still he's still not getting here. He is well, what
(07:12):
he does is he moves his arms and legs really fast,
so it looks like he's running, but he's just walking.
He's doing like that Tom Cruise run. It's ridiculous. Close
the door. He is not getting any closing. I'm gonna
be late. I cannot be late again. I'm on my
this is my third right up. If I'm late, those
ritips are not cool. By the way, Like we're not
(07:35):
in school, yeah any school. We're not in school. We're professionals. Okay,
I'm gonna let it go. That's this guy's next getting
now he's close. Now he'll just be able to relatively close.
Like he's like jogging right in front of the elevator.
Come inside, please just get in here. Okay, we got it.
(07:58):
You're in. You're in. I forgot my wallet. Hold up, no,
I'm hitting the closed door. But nothing's happening. Uh, I'm sorry, Gail.
I don't know why the car is not coming. It's
been in the lobby for about twenty minutes. I keep
pressing the things. Should we just take the stairs down?
(08:22):
I'm not walking. I mean it's down, Gail, it's not
that far down. We could just go down and I'm
not walking. We'll continue to press it, but you know
we're anyway. Well, but like I was saying, I thought
tennis would be easy or a good time. I'm finding
it to be very difficult and not fun at all. Well,
(08:44):
you know, tennis, it's one of those sports that you
think you have a handle on and then it's just
way more difficult than we were pressed it. Let me
appreciate one more him. Where were we tennis? Oh? Yeah,
ten Sorry? Uh, I mean but you're you're a golf man.
I have a golf man. But that is a that
(09:05):
is a cruel sport. All the door. Jesus, this is crazy.
Why want this close? God, I'm going to be late again.
Uh really judges me when I'm late. You don't know.
They converted the stairs to slide, so of like we
can't go up now you can go down. Oh my god,
(09:26):
that sounds like so much fun, if only we could
get up all the Doorkay, you're in the elevator door.
And she walked out, you know, and I said, you know,
I know we're not in love anymore. How long have
you guys been waiting for the elevator? About thirty minutes? Now,
(09:48):
I mean, that's really unfortunate. Gal, I uh sure you
sure he wants to stick the slide down? I think
I don't think it will be too difficult for us.
It's gotta be coming any moment now, right you it think? Well,
the door, you're in here, You're in here, Nancy, I'm
so sorry I'm late, And what's up your hands and
(10:14):
elbows and like you're you're bleeding? Are you okay? Or
did you climb the stairs or the slide? Oh my god,
I can't. Yeah, it was um try. It was hard
to do um but I did it. And that shows commitment,
doesn't it. It shows my commitment to you, Peter, that
I would climb up a slide to get to our
(10:34):
counseling appointment. I'm here, I'm here for what I'm talking about.
This is what I'm talking about. Well, you only have
a little bit time left, so I don't know how
deep we're gonna be able to get to it. Um,
but um, I've asked Peter to not talk to me
this entire time, just had respect to you. So uh,
(10:54):
maybe you want to just get into what has happened
recently or what we talked about last time about not
able to by that bird because it was gonna be
a nuisance? Is that? Is that right? If I remember correctly, Yeah,
let's pick it up at the bird. She won't sleep
with me. And I was like, I have tried rebooting
(11:15):
the computer. I've tried it several times, but of course
you have. They kept wanting me to do that. I
was like, you know, I'm not an amateur. This isn't
my first day at a computer. That's good, right, And
they transferred me. They transferred me again. The first thing,
if we push the up button, we'll cutch it when
it's growing up, and then we'll just take it down afterwards.
(11:39):
I mean, sure yourself, help me up the slide. Okay,
we can't help you up the slide, all right? Coming
down off the somebody's coming down, Help me up the slide?
(12:00):
Where did he go? I hear his voice? You'll want
to use this rope. I can hear her. I can
hear her on her phone at night, so she says
good night, and I said good night, and then I
roll over, and then I can I can hear I
found a state up later I stay, I'm just I'm
on night. Go to sleep with me, me to be
(12:22):
asleep at the same time that we can be a union.
I thought we were a kid. The doctor has rescheduled.
You have next Thursday the same time, so thank you. Well,
Oh did Nancy leave in the middle of our session. No,
you've been out of your session for a while. You've
been down the lobby for a couple of minutes to
(12:43):
screaming age other, look and you please just sign out here. God,
we went into like a fugue state again. Hey, hey,
can I see something? Are you talking to me? I
enjoyed being in that state with you. Are you talking
to me? All right? I felt like we were really
we were we were one, We were a unit. We
didn't even know that we changed location. It wasn't Lasagna
and McAvoy, it was us. It was just us. It
(13:07):
was just Peter and Tina. Oh, I'm just a couple
of minutes late. Sorry, I'm I can catch up real quick.
I get the computer booted up. Okay, it's as if
I was here on time when I when I doubled
down my efforts at the beginning of my job. It's
(13:28):
like I wasn't late, you know. Oh, I guess it's
a quarter past. Yeah, you were late again. Yeah, but
it's just by I mean, I'm actually nothing, Hastes, we've talked.
Somebody's gonna get written up. Shut up, this is your
third infraction. I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to ask
(13:49):
you to leave. What right? Him? Up? Right? Get it?
I don't get another Right up, it's over. I'm done here.
Three right ups, equal, You're gone. You're way too happy
about this. I got kids. Well I think I love
you too, if I'm being honest, Well, are you trying
(14:13):
to me or oh no, sorry, I just have you
pressed the down button or the down button? I know
it's not. I've been wanting to tell you for a
long time, and especially at the time we spent here
right now, just delving so deep into each other's souls
that I just I feel like maybe this is a
(14:35):
connection we should explore. You're single now, you know she
left you and I've been a bachelor for a little while.
As you know, too long, if you long too long,
too long, you just want you know what really solidified
it for me? What was that you said? This isn't
my first day at a computer. It's just funny. I
(14:57):
need that in my life. Thanks go. You know, I
try to bring love to every situation. Has the elevator
been taking a long time or been here for at
least forty five minutes? Minutes? For me? Hell, this is uh,
this is Anton from We'll always have parrots. I get
the parrot you ordered. I think I'm great. Yes you can,
just you can bring it on inside. That's a big cage.
(15:21):
It's a big cage for a big parrot. Parrot, I
forget about it. So this parrot comes preloaded with some
some phrases. You got to teach some other phrases. But
to get about it, gorgeous. Stop my fucking dick. Whoa,
(15:43):
I'm sorry, that's a bit much. You're you said a
no kids, right, because you know we we have a
more family friendly parts. But I figured you know a
couple of adults. You know it's I'm gonna say anything
you haven't heard before. We are I'm gonna cut your
head off, piece of ship. Whoa. Um, just because we
don't have kids doesn't mean that we should get the
(16:05):
violent bird. And this golden macaw is as an animal.
But I'm the boss of the Calamari crime family. Yes,
so he isn't. But he was. He was a bird
at the Calamari Crime He was a part, he lived,
he was a pet of Ah. Yeah, oh my god,
(16:26):
Hoppy doesn't have any information that might put us in danger.
See what's this? All I know is you pre ordered this, Barrett,
I'm living in now. I need you to sign here.
Let me give you a tip. Let me give you
everybody in this room is fucking dead. What he how
to open this cage right there that hold a weapon?
(16:50):
You know, it's no threat. You know, it's just a
lot of talk. It's a lot of talk. I just
I just remember that news story from seven years ago
about that one um Russian guy who got his eyes
poked out, and they said that it looked as if
they were beaked out, and that he had claw scratches
all over the rest of his face in that Yeah, yeah,
(17:10):
that's a conspiracy theory. I don't pay attention to that. Stuff.
You know, I've been trying to kill your bitch. You can.
You can teach your mother phrases, you know. Okay, Oh,
it's um, it's open. I don't I don't want to
(17:31):
go down. I want to spend some of our time here.
I don't want to go down either. Don't get out
of the way. Oh, my fucking what is your deal?
My deal? My deal is for the last thirty years,
I've been working for someone I don't respect. I was
living with somebody who didn't love me. Okay, and this
(17:53):
morning you're looking at somebody who's bad at tennis but
finally good in love. That's my deal. Which your deal?
My deal is that some asshole just blocked me from
going home. All right, you man? You slides out of order?
Slide down? Yeah, well, I have a very sensitive backside. Okay,
(18:17):
what very sensitive backside? Jinks? You guys are that together?
The slide is indoors, it's not in the sun, it's
not hot. Just slide right, right, you thank his little bottom.
(18:40):
Little little bottom, we've gotten rid of corporate punishment. I'm
not allowed to do that, all right, No, I'll take
a spanking. Just don't fire me. You're not gonna assume me. Kyle,
you're fired. No, don't fire me. I'll take a spanking.
I don't, Kyle. I'm sorry. You've been late three times.
I'm sorry. You know the rules here. I'll take my part. Kyle, Um,
(19:06):
did you get rent or no? Did you go to
the bank today? Are no? No? I didn't. This fucking guy.
Oh god, they goddamn parrot got parrot? We gotta can
we please? Can we please bring this parrot to look
a shelter, Kyle, this sweetamily parrot. I lost my job.
(19:28):
I lost my job, but this is a giant parrot
we got. I agree a parrot. I agree. I kiss
your wife when you're gone. Why don't say things like this.
It's just gots preloaded, It's reloaded. We gotta give it up.
It's too big. It's a giant parrot a bus. You
(19:51):
sure you want me to get rid of these thirty
five parrots you keep in your office? Yeah? I do.
You're thirty five. You can't for these that they would
just little because what do you say? You saying I'm dumb?
I told you get rid of them, all right, Okay,
if you want, I know, uh, you know, I've got
(20:12):
a parent fence. I can take them to call them
crime phim. Hey baby, Um, we're net with the bird.
But still, and I'm gonna say, I feel close, I
feel connected. I feel Oh thank god. I thought you'd
be so weirded out when I started. You're wearing a
fucking wire when he started left kissing it. Getting close
(20:40):
to the bird. Yeah, getting close, That's what I said,
getting close to the bird. I'm just getting close to bird. No.
I think it's honestly, yeah, I think that's right. Ali
wants them cocaine. I don't think we need to go
back to therapy. Is that saying too much? I I
(21:00):
don't think that's saying too much. I think that's saying exactly.
It's saying exactly what's right. So I'll sleep on the
couch tonight so you can keep him like, make sure
he's like he gets those welcome you so much. Yeah. Um,
this is my first time at a meeting like this. Hi,
(21:21):
I'm Linda, Linda, and I've been in love with my
bird for weeks? What what? What kind of group do
you think this is? And C two is for listener markets?
(21:51):
You're out, so Kevin, you claimed at a poker game
in February that the movie Sliver wasn't a hit with
it's a hundred and thirty eight million dollar box office.
If I did a movie that earned that good in
I would call that a hit. Well, enough about you.
My scene to you is a man applying to become
a gold digger. Have fun. I know I will. Yeah,
(22:13):
how can I he help you? Well, I I was
wondering if you guys were hiring. Oh yeah, well, Horran,
what's your previous work experience? Well, he used to be
a millionaire, so I was really good with money. Um,
usually it was in bills, but I'm sure it was
(22:34):
backed with gold. And you know Fort Knox used to
be a millionaire. And you'll go with money and why
are you here? Well, I was I wanted to dig gold?
Or is this not a mine? Is this not a
mining facility? I'm just confused about what you used to
be a millionaire? And now you want my sad story.
(22:56):
I'm broke, Okay, I'm fucking broke. I used to be
a millionaire, so trust me, I know how to be
around gold. Oh I'm sorry to say your assets are gone.
They're frozen. It's the frozen or they're gone. Well there
they're gone, and well you had left was frozen. It
(23:17):
seems like Macaw Syndicate took it all. Uh, what are
the odds of the frozen stuff is gonna thought? I
don't I'm not sure. It's not looking good you. And
what I'm saying is you probably need to find a
better way to uh make some money at the moment,
or it's just it's not looking good. Everything's gonna be
(23:38):
taken away, definitely if you that'll be gone. Guy. Okay,
I'm just a representative for them because Okay, now they
can't speak in the way they that we do, but
of course they can repeat. So the things that I've
been told to repeat to you is if you don't
get the money for him, well they don't take your bones,
(23:59):
bones us in the money. No, you're human, bones are
gonna take your bones. Look, man, what you gotta do
is you gotta get yourself a lady, you know, someone
who can take care of you, take care of some
of your bills. Look at me and watch Hey dad,
I'm watching proof. She's watching her show. But she'll bind
(24:21):
me whatever I want. Like, what what do you think?
What do you think Brenda is gonna think? If I
it's getting lad think of it as a job. Don't
you need a job? Don't you need money? Uh huh?
So can I have a shard anay? Thank you? And
can I have um a mocktail of your surprise coming
(24:47):
right up? Thank you? What a freaking week? Okay, I
don't work, but if I couldn't have mad because the
week that I have being someone who doesn't work, it
feels like a lot of fucking work, you know, mm
(25:08):
hm hmm my h o way board. It's just it's
racking up the racking up the fees. They keep calling
me asking me to be the secretary of the meeting.
And you know I had that problem with my fingers.
I am waiting for somebody, So I'm sorry. Am I
(25:28):
disturbing you? No? Here's your wine and here's your pickles
fashioned it's pickle juice with a sugar cube. That's my favorite. Wonderful.
I knew a surprise. We've lift up my spirits after
such a hard week. My parent, my my parent, my
parrots from my freaking neighbors, my parent neighbors. So how
(25:51):
did it go? Okay? Alright, alright, I gotta I gotta
iron some things out with you. First of all, right,
I know you lost your ship. I know you're sucking
married Bob. I know you have been applying for jobs, right,
but I did tell pretty much a shoe in for
one of them. Okay, what what is it? Let's just
say I'm going to be a gold digger. Okay, but
(26:13):
I gotta clarify something with you, because I know you
take things literally. What do you mean by that? Well,
there's this prospect or the dude I set you up
with the date I set you up with the woman
I didn't go to date. I'm this is this is
a great spot. Oh my god, how are you? This
(26:36):
is so weird. How do you do? You know? Dev
and all that? That brought me over from the bar.
We were hanging out and she said to come over
because there's more drinks. Seriously, you know that you could
make a best friend in one night. Isn't that amazing?
We had so much in common. She was really locked
in at first, but then I started complaining about the
(26:58):
stick and parents next door. I just, oh my god,
I complete forgot about Yeah, well I had a stupid date,
stand me up, but this like debmated all the better.
Thank you so much. That women empowering women. Here's my resume.
I hope I get the job. She here good. I've
(27:20):
had several years experience with a donkey and I already
have long John's on it. And now it says she
that you were a former millionaire. Yes that was man.
You're you're good with gold, that right? Yes, yes, I'm
good at scrolling it away. I'm good at and holding
(27:42):
it up and let it glick in the sun. But
the former, what what happened? But what what happened to
the money that's mine? Sometimes he getting deep for the
exactic birds. I know that. All right, Well here's your
claim and here's your pick. I'll make you proud. Well, Dad,
(28:08):
maybe you when I should head home and let these
two get acquainted. Well, this is depth home. I don't know. Yeah,
and I really I mean to get home to the
bedroom home. Just shall we leave? No? You do stay relaxed,
right dead? Yeah that's what you gotta do. Yeah, Yes,
(28:30):
I don't know. I just met this guy. I don't know.
If you're saying you're in our home, you're in her home. Yeah.
I always assumed I was safe, but I think that
I wasn't safe. Various things a woman. Could hear that
makes me feel like it's the opposite. Can I just
ask one thing? You know what, I'm staying down here
with my thank you, thank you? How rich is she?
(28:54):
That is a very rude question to ask. Dude, this
is a very rude question asked that was that was
sick to hear. Oh, I'm sorry, but I was under
the impression that I was supposed to live off of
her money, my money, Francesca's money. Who are you? I
don't know what is it? Well? That sure is a
sad story. Uh. I'm not totally sure what the depth
(29:18):
subplot had to do with with your story. But anyway,
it's a lot of panning mostly well, you know, it's less.
It's kind of a misnomer. We don't dig so much.
We do a lot of panning. You see, I'm getting
a lot of pie write here. Which is it looks
like gold? It's it does look like gold, but it's
fool's gold. I'm taking some of that. It's not worthless.
(29:42):
It's worthless. Okay, And let me just see the gold, yep,
and they we'll be able to wait and giving this
here you go? Do you tell the birds are quite alright?
Let's just see here. Okay, that should pretty much. Are
you sucking with me? That's you pretty much square, even
(30:03):
the debt? I owe you? Are you fucking with me?
Did you come in here today say I'm gonna sunk
with me? Okay, you can have some more here. This
is every little bit of gold. I sneeze on you.
I sneeze on you, buddy, all right? Was right in
my face? Yeah, it was because of what you did
to me. You want to come here with this bullshit pie? Right? Huh?
(30:28):
You're fucking with me. The birds are gonna take your bones, buddy.
They think you're fucking bones. Buddy. I understood the dev storyline.
What did you talk to these birds separately? I waited
for a while for you, rough day. Huh. Here take
(30:51):
a swig out of this joke with three xtras on it?
All right? M oh, oh my god. That's the good stuff,
is it? Oh? It's it's just a river water. What
(31:12):
a little bit of pickle? Oh my god? The beans already,
the beans already already in. Isn't there going to be
something with the beans? It's not just beans, is it?
What do you need beans? I'm sorry, I just used
(31:33):
to have a lot of When I used to eat,
when I was a millionaire, we'd have a plate that
had beans, potatoes, a mead, a different vegetable, meat, different
it had on me. It was like a menagerie of food.
(31:54):
What's a vegetable? Vegetable? It's uh, well sometimes it's corn sometimes,
you know, but I guess beans of this be's good.
It's all you need. Son, I had some venice there once.
It was full of buckshot. Now we're like, I don't
want this ever again for me too, too. Holy sh it, man,
(32:20):
you look great? What is that a new suit? Versacchi?
Geez man, you are done well for yourself. Well, it's
a full suit. So what's that? It's I'm glad that
you see what you see, but it's a full suit.
It's not real VERSACCEI what I was being honest with you?
(32:45):
You thought it was real? Right? Yeah, but you know
table for two? Is that correct? No? I gotta get
I gotta get going. Okay, what are you still hated
with us or not? Well, it's depends on if he's
gonna stay because I can't pay for you can't pay, well,
(33:06):
then you can't either, young man, young man, are there
any uh, you know money money, money moneys, money maidens
at the bar tonight, money maidens. You know, yeah, you know, yeah,
I have three years prior experience. Now those three years
(33:30):
or twenty years ago, but I think I can enter
back into the job force. Uh as if it was
twenty years ago. Well, it's just here that you're a
current millionaire. Is that correct? I have a current millionaire
and I'm looking to be a money made Okay, well,
but I do have a significant other. Is that Is
(33:52):
that going to be a problem? How? I don't think so.
If you have more people to work to claim, the better.
So here's a claim ticket. Here's your pick. Uh. I
hope this helps you be a money made And I
don't know. I'm just here to give out gold digging claims.
I must be in the wrong. I gotta be in
the wrong office. Day I've had, I can't believe I'm
(34:16):
going to the wrong office and my first time attempting
to get a job. Can you imagine when I actually
have a job to complain about? Diember you can start
working here. Well, I'm trying to get back into the
workforce because I'm just I'm being driven mad, staying in
my apartment, listening to the damn neighbors birds. One of
(34:37):
them got a dog that's even louder. You know, I
like commercial breaks. I want to hear the jingles, so
it matters. One of those commercial breaks now threes from
(34:59):
listener Chris didn't tell it. He wrote just one this month,
as I am much too busy procrastinating my school work
to properly create scene suggestions right now. One. I've noticed
that comedians seem to get offended when people refer to
their work as skits for reasons that are not obvious
to non comedians. Did you guys do a scene that
explains for the to the rest of us about skits
(35:21):
and sketches and routines and acts and bits. Alright, campers,
who is ready to have the best summer ever? Maybe? Yeah?
Alright you too? How about the rest of you? I
mean ideally, Yeah, I mean I'm only eleven, so I've
(35:45):
only had ten summers. I don't remember most of them. Yeah,
this is gonna be the best camp Wanna Ghana is
the premier place to be in the summer. And you
know why what's going on? Because we've got so many
activities high ropes, course, low ropes, course, river rafting, horseback riding, skits.
(36:09):
We do skits. Oh wait a second, Um, I don't
do skits. What does that mean? Why? You know? Like
one of you will lay on the floor and the
other one will lay on their stomach, and then one
of you the legs and the other ones talking. It's fun.
(36:33):
I'm gonna be one of the legs, I kid, I
heard you. Uh, we're in a fan of skits. No,
I mean I'm in my sixth grade improv troup. Oh,
chicken wing for you buddy there? Yeah, you know, I
mean a couple of other cooks. Uh, we do sketches.
You do sketches. Chicken wing for you, buddy there? How
(36:55):
do I get in this group? I don't know. I
don't know if we're gonna have I mean, I've got
a writing packet. How do you do? Yeah, you know,
just in case. Uh, let me take a look at this. Okay,
I heard you got a kid who wants to join
up hunting this. Uh, dude, check it out. He got
himself an own riding back who all right, let me
taking a look at that too. Hey this heightens nicely. Yeah,
(37:19):
good bit. Well you can tell already on the first page,
you established a clear bit and then you progress it bit.
Because the way I see it is we'll do skits
together and that'll make us an act. What do you
think you'll be a leg? I'll be a leg. Yeah,
but we need like okay, guys, hey, hi, hi, anybody. Hi,
(37:44):
I'm John. I'll be the counselor here at squirrel Bunk.
Where's your shirt? Where's my shirt? Why don't you shut
the hell up? This is squirrel Bunk, all right, and
when we're here, we're in a different camp. Do you
understand that? Uh? Okay, okay, great, Now, I know everyone
got money from their parents with the vending machines. Let
(38:05):
me see it. Uh, let me see it. My name
is John, I run the squirrel Book. Let me see
the money. Well, we're in act. Just let you know.
Oh yeah, oh I love acts. Okay, what my favorite
act is when I get the fucking money. So give
me give me. Your feet are really dirty? Oh yeah
(38:29):
they are, maybe because I live in the woods. Give
me a goddamn wait, are you not an actual counselor?
Oh he's got my tenny pack. Now just leave it.
Let me go, let me go. We'll use this as
a material for our but that's what's all the money
for the whole is going to break up. No, no, no, no, no,
well well no, no no, please don't, please don't. I'm
(38:50):
gonna be late. I'm so sun No. Let me start
from the top, from the top, so sorry, that's what
I wanted. Sorry, don't repolicize, just go, just go. Okay.
Can I just say I do have some revisions on this.
Oh my god, oh my god, just do it, do it? Okay,
(39:15):
no problem. Um knock knock, knock, knock. I'm at your door,
not knock, not so tell me more. Here's some gum.
Don't chew it up? Oh no, threw up? Stops up? Raymond?
Can you get in there? Please? Can you help them? Raymond? Please? Um? Okay,
(39:35):
all right? Should we just take it from the top
we can, okay, professionals, I'm I'm an amateur. Uh Raymond
stop stop Raymond Lucas, can you get in there and
help Raymond? Please? No, no, no, How does an amateur
become a professional if they don't get to Raymond enough?
(39:58):
I got I got it, I got it, you know, guys,
I'm a pro with this. My brother did a bunch
of skits for Homecoming. He's the quarterback. He wears a
wig and goofs around and it's a riot, so I'll
be great in the skit. Okay, well, just as we know,
we're starting off with the song. This is a review
after all, so I just want to make sure we're
all in the same page. Please look us, help us out. Mhm. Knock, knock,
(40:23):
knock on your door. Knock, knock, knock, Please tell me more. Knock, knock, knock.
I had some gum used to stop something. What do
you do? You're just ogg Can you get in there
and help Lucas Blues? Can I just say, this doesn't
seem very fair. They're saying it's a review, but this
is the first time I've seen this material. It was
(40:45):
Please help him. Please. Alright, guys, get ready frogged and
coming in. Okay, here you go. Alright, alright, what's your
motivation here to make the audience laugh? No, no, that's
gonna be the result ideally. What's the motivation of your
(41:06):
character to have people like me? No? No, that's you,
that's you the character. Who are you playing myself? Okay,
all right, I haven't seen the script. Okay, wait, hold on,
are you playing yourself? Where are you playing someone that
has come to doing a skit? What are we talking
about here? I think I think Oggens trying to elevate
(41:28):
us to another level. Perhaps honestly, after hearing Ogden's coaching,
I think I could give it another shot. I feel
like it's elevated me. I don't know, guys, I was
just excited to take part in a big time goof,
you know, but have some fun. That's funny. Okay. I'm
(41:53):
looking at the script now and the formatting is all fucked.
What do you mean that was this done on final draft? Um? No,
I know I asked a question where I know the
answer It wasn't. All right. Everybody, welcome to a corn bunk.
If you ladies need anything, you gotta come to me,
(42:15):
all right, because that's how we are here in the wilderness.
We're wild and free. Who's gonna tell me to wear
a shirt? Not me? That's right, because I make the rules.
I'm in charge. I'm the counselor, and I'm here to
help you have fun. If anyone needs tampons or pads,
(42:37):
that's gonna be here in this trunk, right yep. Living
in the woods once you walk around for long enough,
you form callouses, and it's actually the most natural and
beautiful way to walk around life, because then I can
go anywhere and not have a problem. The shoes are
making my hometown. What is it made of glass? What
(42:59):
does that mean? It just means that if she showed
up with no shirt and dirty feet like that, she
wouldn't be allowed in the gas station. Right, Ogden, We're
gonna start you as a featured player this season. Okay,
you're gonna tail around Edie Bryant. She's gonna show you
(43:19):
how everything works here. All right, Okay, thanks, Lauren, no problem.
Let me know if you have any more questions. Okay,
I'll just be in my office. I'm available to you
if you need me. Okay, then, okay, thanks big guy.
You got it. Your writing packet was incredible. It was
incredible the way you heightened. Oh boy, right, so good? Okay,
(43:46):
I can't tell if the conversations over and O good buddy,
come here? How are you man? How are you? Uh? So?
I heard we got a phenomena leven year old Freako
coming into the big league. Yeah, I'm coming right off
of summer at camp. Wanna ghana? Yeah? So we heard.
And just so you know, uh, this this environment can
(44:07):
eat people a louve man, they're cann't really funk with
your head. So just you know, you're eleven years old,
You're still developing as a human being, so you know,
maybe this is the right fit for you. I've heard
about you guys coming in trying to intimidate the new kids,
and uh, I'm not gonna be intimidated. Okay, now you're not.
I've got five ideas. I'm gonna pitch the Chance of
the Rapper tomorrow and you're not gonna talk to anybody.
(44:29):
You've got these little ship I'm odd the writing staff.
How are you gonna write? If you pissed your pants?
What it looks like? I've just pissed his pants. You
just sprayed me with a spray gun on my crotch.
Oh the funk with me? Okay, not big time? And
(44:50):
how long have you been here? Hi? Didn't your mom
and dad Sweeter say Hi? It's Ogden on the phone
not saying hi to him? Okay, so how is it?
How thirty rock? Um? I don't know. I don't know
if I belong here? Oh, yes you do. You know
what I'll send you some cookies. That would help. So
(45:12):
tell me the names of your friends. Who's your best friend? UM?
Probably Keenan so far? Oh nice? Keenan sounds nice. Yeah,
he's been here for twenty years. Twenty years, Wow, babe,
one of the one of the writer has been there
for twenty years. Really do want to get on the phone.
He's not, he says. He says, no son of his
(45:34):
will make a living doing skits. They're not skits. They're
not skits. Put him on, Put him on, sweetheart. He says,
they're not skins. Okay, you're on speaker. I write scenes, father,
I write scenes, sketches. They're not skits. Okay, skits for camp.
(45:55):
I'm beyond camp. Now you just left amp Gowana. I
want to go. I don't know what you don't even
know the name of my camps. That's the show. It
will ship And what I saw was a bunch of skits.
And now you're thirty rock Well you used to sound confident,
(46:16):
Now you sound broken. Thanks for coming in. UM. I
read your latest sketch in UM. Although it has some
funny moments, the whole deb subplot really lost us. So
we're gonna send you back to camp. We need you
to get some more experience with skits. Uh, and then
you can come to Lord. Did you just call call
(46:37):
them skits for you, because right now you're at skit level. No. No,
I've moved beyond skits. I've moved beyond skits. I mean
that deb thing was slightly off game. But all right, campers, um,
you are now in the buffalo bunk makes some buffalo noises. Hey,
you don't counselors. We're all counselors in here. Okay, I excited.
(46:59):
I know. Look, here's why I called this this meeting.
You know, there's a lot of competition right now out there.
You know, all the kids are trying to write better
and better and funnier than the other kids, and the
songs and stuff. Why don't we go back to the
roots of it all. Why don't we go back to
the original idea generator. That machine hasn't been turned on
(47:20):
for years. I'm talking about the improv machine. Oh, put
the pencils down, put the final drift down. Put down.
Here's the thing. We're paying a lot of staff members
to be running a lot of different programs here. So
if we keep on just harping on the one. We're
paying for a bunch of horses for nothing. We're paying
(47:41):
for canoes for nothing. I mean these kids, some of
those horses have been stolen and apparently in I think
in the scrub Bunk kids got robbed. Do you understand
what this camp has turned into? This is the former
link for former league, for the generator for the future
generations of writers and performers. Here, you're correct, we need
(48:01):
to go back to ours. We need to go back
to improv I got a suggestion, how about um, a
man applies to become a gold digger. That's too convoluted.
I don't want to tell the whole story you about
just something the point of inspirations? Oh man, we did.
(48:23):
We changed comedy guys. The difference now right. That skit
was brought to see you by the following alchemists. Chris Alvarado. Yeah,
thank you for having me. Um. Check out my other
podcast to Comedy Figs, where we just you know, funk
around with ideas in comedy and performance. And I want
to say one more thing. Oh yeah, the way, if
(48:44):
you if you are in California, if you're in the
Los Angeles area, the West Side Comedy Theater is you
know coming back. We're doing shows again. We're doing live
in person shows. Um, must be vaccinated the mask. Of course,
we're trying to keep it as safe as possible. But
a lot of us here in this on this podcast today,
we'll be performing there soon. So you know, if you're
(49:05):
come check us out. Go to Westside Comedy dot com
for uh schedules. Yeah, definitely come back. Things are happening,
as they say, Craig Tkakowski. Hey, Sex Lives of College
Girls will premiere on HBO Max November. Uh, it's not
about me. I'm in two episodes. Um, I mean I am.
(49:26):
I am not a college student, nor a girl, nor
having sex. Uh. But my wife uh confirmed not that
that's not that's going on. My wife watched the trailer.
It confirmed at the show she would watch even if
I wasn't on it. Okay, that looks funny. It looks funny.
(49:47):
Jackie Gonzalez Dar Ruthie Wow, of course, James t everybody
(50:21):
on November six, thanks neither. Uh, well, the mean I
can't wait for Sketch Fest either. I'm so excited for
it on November six at Bruce City in El Segundo.
I'm gonna be doing stand up at eight pm, so
that might be enough time for this will air before that.
(50:44):
If you live in the l A area on November,
check out some stand up at Bruce City. Yeah, November
sixte James might have enough time to come up with
a set, so just run out there check it out.
I do want to end with a little song at
the s add your own lyrics to that, but that's
(51:09):
like they're really that's the foundation of the song. Solf
out with that great I'm at Cole Stratton at Stratton
Cole s sketch beest dot com or coming back in January.
Let's give it up for engineer, producer Doug Babe and
the fine folks at I Heart Media dot com. Please
(51:29):
write to us at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
That's dot com. Until next time.
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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