Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode of Your Guests again and
for Katy for a little while. First up, it's Chris Alvarado. Hey, Chris,
if you could master our usual skill like archery or
blastoming or whatever, what would it be M probably the
(00:26):
ability to go about my daily life without the crippling anxiety.
I feel just like walk down the street without thinking
is everyone looking at me? Is everybody person is looking
at me? This morning, I walk my dog, for instance,
and my dad got me this denim jacket, which is
a wild shot in the dark for my dad to
buy me clothes. He doesn't do that, but he bought
(00:47):
me this denim jacket. I wanted to try it out
this morning, just to fill it out. In my walk,
I can barely get to the fucking walk. Thank you,
jack is too tight. It was you're wearing denim pants
as well, and I got in your head anxiety. So archery,
(01:07):
There you go, There you go. Next up, it's Jackie
Gonzalez to Ruthie. Jackie, you're wearing a well Disney World shirts.
So that's kind of funny that I chose this question
for you. Have you ever had an awful experience at
an amusement park. Um, yes, so my senior year or
senior years in general in Florida, you go to grad night,
(01:28):
which is either at Walt disney World or Universal. They
have to change up, uh, which theme park you go
to because obviously it's all the students in Florida, and
it's different nights, different weekends. I was lucky enough to
match up theme parks and nights with my best friend,
who went to a different high school. I was unlucky
enough to have my best friend get dumped the night
(01:51):
before grad night by my boyfriend's twin brother and they
spent and like it had happened at like three o'clock
in the morning, the breakup, and she calls and also
grad night, you show up to school at an ungodly
hour because you have to drive to Orlando, so you
(02:13):
show up at like five am, and it's very odd.
So she calls me. She's like, you need to drive
me to school. And it was like what, She like,
you need to drive me to school? I drive her
to school. She is a wreck. She tells me Alexey
has and I'm calling him out. Alexey has dumped her.
But because it's so fresh, like they spend the whole
(02:35):
bus ride up like sitting next to each other, and
she's just crying, you know, because like she can't let
this go. This just happened. And we're on this forever
bus ride to Disney, and then we get to Disney
and her twin spends the whole time with the other
woman holding hands, and we're like going through the park
(03:01):
like trying to like avoid them and not see them,
but of course, but also like haunting for her to
like look at my boyfriend's face, which is identical to
her boyfriend. When you said her twin, I thought there
was an additional set of twins, and like, what the
world's happening? It was very traumatizing. But then we decided
to like redo that like Orlando trip, and we redid
(03:25):
it with Joey and his friends as like a really
as like a we need to refresh this city for her. Um,
that was the last time that she's been to the parks. Yeah,
I think I could speak for everybody in the Alchemy
this family when I say fuck you, Alexei. Yeah was
(03:47):
the bomb. Next up is James Heeney. Hey do you
have a guilty pleasure? Sci fire action movie? I let's
see know I'm proud of all of the sci fi,
Like I really, I don't know. I think that the
movie John dies at the end. I enjoy watching it,
(04:09):
even though it's just they didn't finish the whole book,
Like the book is ten times better. But I like
Paulcia Mahdi and the movie is still good. I don't know.
I think I guess that would be my guilty pleasure.
John dies at the end, but only because it reminds
me how much I love the book. Yeah, that's pretty
decent film, though. I mean, I like crap like Prayer
for the roller Boys in the eighties and that's not
(04:30):
good at all. I love Logan's Run, but that's good, right,
that's not a bad that's classic. It's classic. Yeah, campy.
Next up is Craig Akowski. Craig, if he had to
choose which of the four is your favorite? Monkey? That's
'm okay? Oh what do with the hat? You go?
(04:54):
It's just he just a little more beat nick and
uh like he looked over it a little more. Yeah,
I think that's probably pretty true. You walk the artistic
of them. I couldn't take hold on. But what's what's
what's the most popular? One's named Craig the name, but
(05:15):
I guess David Jones was the cute one. David Jones, Yeah,
he's cute. That was David Bowie's given name is David Jones,
but he changed it to David Bowie so they wouldn't
confuse him with Davy Jones of the Monkeys. And my
birth name is David changed it to Craig Acowsky for
show biz. For show it's Joey Greer. Joey. I hear
(05:42):
your eggshop got closed down on the promenade, but now
you've got a hot new place coming in. What is it?
Thank you for saying that in because that's exactly what
it is. It's hot. So we crank at the furnace.
It's all like a themed restaurant. So I cranked the
furnace right, and I got like charcoal grills going. I
got gas girls going, and they ain't cooking any meat.
(06:03):
You just sheved to this restaurant and you just start sweating.
It's great, all right. And I do have a two
jacket minimum entry, okay, regardless, everyone has to have two jackets.
You come in, you sit down, you're getting moose boosh,
which is like a little little drink, but that drink
boiling hot, so don't sip it. You will burn yourself.
(06:23):
And it gets hotter and hotter as the night goes
on because I pack more and more people inside. So
it's great, it's really fun. We're still working on our menu,
but so far the theme would just like just getting
hot in there, Nelly, don't come from me. Great. One
of those ice bars, you know, so it's just the
(06:48):
park Yeah, I walked by one in Vegas. There was
a second was that Caesar's And you walk by and
all of a sudden, it's just one of those ice bars,
which I've only seen like at that Triple X movie
with and Diesel Guilty Pleasure Cool, and I was like,
what is that real? And then they're legit. There was
one night did that once where we we did these
(07:11):
little videos called culture Pops is to spend off from
our podcast where we would like go to locations and
like check them out and interview people or whatever. China
shot mag and one of the places was one of
those ice bars in this downtown. So like one of
our promo pictures is us wearing those big parkas inside
this like ice room and stuff. It's bring your own
parka or they have them hung up. Not a lot
(07:34):
of books floating around l A. They don't wash them.
In fact, they don't wah them between everyone. All right,
let's do a damn show, shall we alight? All of
our suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails, or from our
Patreon v I p s to become a Patreon supporter
of the show and enjoy exclusive content and other perks,
(07:57):
just head on over to Patreon dot com. Slash out
came you this. If you like to submit a scene
suggestion via email, please write to the podcast at our
new email address, Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
That's email. It's not anymore. I think we want to
retire that form. The front of the copy. Scene one
(08:19):
is from Alcolm Niac Mike del Rosso, who wrote, a
recipient of a new kidney or whatever body part is
funny to you finds out it was donated from a
werewolf hidtor um. How's it looking in there? Well, it
seems like he's got all the I'm looking at it.
(08:42):
I think we put all the organs in, but there's
an empty spot here. What look at this? Look at
this as a little bit you wanted me to come
into the room. I'm not even I'm not scrubbed. There's
a monitor in the behind the glass. There's a monitor
handling the camera at it. You see that there's a
missing gap here. Okay, So when the truck hit him,
(09:03):
guts went everywhere, everywhere and all in the plastic bags.
And we spent like a lot of time putting Yeah,
you're right, everything seems to have fit, Like, what's that?
What's that thing? So yeah, what is that gap? Oh
my god, I don't have a kidney. That's funny. That's
(09:26):
not funny that that's a serious organ. If you don't
have kidneys, you're not able to cycle the blood and
make sure that when it gets to the liver that
that liver's got clean blood to put the body. Okay, okay,
so just put it. Just put a kid You're not
fun he's fucked. He's fucked. My brother, go lose my chop.
He's gonna lose his life. Where do we get paying
(09:47):
student loans for being a get him? Just get him
a kidney? Then? Yeah, I mean pretty simple bears. You know,
they come, they ask for a cooler, We just hand
it over, you know, Yeah, we got it all stad
In the bag, any kind of organ you can fucking imagine.
We just got it. It's pretty wild. But thanks for
the thanks for the heads up about this. Uh about
(10:09):
the sweet gig bro Oh yeah yeah, well you know,
we've been drinking for so goddamn along with that bar
and I just heard you saying he was just looking
for a new job. I figured out what they'll just
come on yeah, yeah, between between employment. Yeah, I'll tell
you this. You're gonna stay here. Yeah, but word of
the wise, some of these organs here might not be
uh clopascetic, if you know, changing changing. Hi there, Hi,
(10:35):
We're gonna walk in, gotta walk in. Are you do
you have a reservation? Uh? No, I found you guys
online up reviews. By the way, write that down trip
triple a organ donation with the first and the other pat.
I'm in a bit of a bind. Um. I know.
Typically there's waiting lists for organs if you go to
standard route. Um. But my brother Scots were splattered all
(10:59):
over the road recently and put back together. I know,
Christ was it a truck or Peter Bilt? Oh wow,
yeah wow, good luck seeing that on the road, and
yeah they do. Yeah, you know, a good friend of
mine used to be on the Peter Built factory line. Yeah,
I said, live music playing, Yeah, I said, live music
(11:22):
all the time, live music in the factory. Yeah, that's
a great working That's what I said. I was like, damn,
So you're still friends with Randall? Uh? I know he
owes you money, but come on, he's a good man
man that owes me all right? I hate when that happens. Anyway,
Is there some urgency? So today's eminem, we're going to
(11:42):
be covering the death of Mr um John Laquait. Mr
John Luquait came in after a big truck had crashed
into him. His guts were full of gravel. Um, you
say today's eminem? Did she say that she did Marshall today? Seven?
(12:09):
Now I'm just gonna ask, don't excuse me, what's an eminem?
The fact that you all work at my hospital and
don't know what an eminem is makes me really nervous,
especially knowing that within this particular eminem we have a
(12:32):
king I know blood. We have a doctor who accepts organs,
not from you knows, not from this very hospital, but
from random people on the street who just come in
with coolers. Sorry, sorry, the guy in bed thirteen. He
just he gave me this yurine sample, and I have
(12:53):
no idea what to do with it. Drink it, drink it?
Can we make don't chogging dot check? I'm getting different
signals here. Don't close the cap, close the cap. I'll compromise.
I'll just sip it like a nice ship. So yeah,
(13:15):
that's where I'm at. Um I got, I've got cash,
and I've got some credit cards and I don't know
other credit cards complete or they severed and it just
pieces of no full credit cards, but yeah, not full
credit on them. But I think we can make a deal.
That's what I That's what I read in the previews.
So you need guts, Well, actually I saw that you
(13:38):
guys have a deal on bag of guts. The problem
with that grab back situation is if the particular organized
want is in there, I'm out, you know what I mean.
And I know that's the look of the draw I get. Hey, guys,
I like to donate in organ, but lock me up,
lock me up? Oh ship, Kenny, you want to handle that?
(13:59):
Or how do you run? This is my first day,
O Kenny. Why don't you just take care of the organ,
all right? And I'll handle the customer. Right, Do we
have a cell to lock somebody else in the back?
All right, you'll find it next to the ice chests. Shame.
We do a radiator whatever, I don't care, just do
it before the moon comes out? Oh man, well, what
(14:19):
what time is the moon rise today? I don't always
the moon is always out? Is that it's always out?
Do you guys heat this place with a radiator? Or
is that? Yeah? We do no ship. All the trash
(14:41):
in the neighborhood. We just dump it inside and we
just let that. Alright, I put I put some of
the coolers on the radio. Oh god, damn it, that's
my first day. They're all God, man, bab, I'm so
tired from work. What do you mean? I see the
ovens on this, every burner on the stoves on. You
(15:03):
haven't cooked anything. This stuff has just been on. Well,
here's just just calmed down. Okay, calmed down. It is
blood curdling lye cold. Okay. I just haven't been able
to shake this chill that I got since I was
bit bit bite. Hold on one second second, there was
(15:30):
a there's a small dog. Okay, okay, yeah, it bit me.
I'm but then the dog disappeared. Did you go to
the hospital. You gotta make sure you're not listening all
the way, Jessica, the dog disappeared. First of all, Baby's
the only thing. Like Robert, I asked you to always
(15:52):
call me Dr Carlyle. Okay, whether we're in the house
or not. Dr Carlyle. Uh well, the dog, let me
give me give me one second, Hold on second. You're
acting so weird. Stop scratching your butt. Okay, okay, So
I was bit by a small dog. The dog disappeared,
and the only thing left is our baby. I am
(16:16):
the craziest chill right now. I know this sounds crazy.
I'm just gonna tell you what I think it is.
Thank you, Jessica. That is insane. Dr Carlile. Sorry, that
is insane. It was that And that was just the
morbidity and mortality report at the hospital. And you haven't
even gotten to the point. When I got home, somebody
just passed out of the table over there. Someone just
(16:37):
passed out of the table next to it. You should
handle her. Listen, I'm off the clock, you know, I
get that. I want to be called Dr Carlile at
all times, but I don't want to be doctor Chocolate
Martini and you want to this is my second. Yes,
(16:58):
there's someone at the other table keep some kind of
just writhing. I'm not sure if they need to help
or not. They're filming at the mouth. If I were,
it's it's a reality show. I couldn't help. But notice
that you got an eminem there, Martini and Martini not
not a morbidity and mental mortality, which, of course everybody
knows that. Of course, you must be a doctor. You
(17:20):
must be a doctor. I am a doctor. It's got
to be your least favorite part of the day to
have to go through every death that happens in the
hospital and make sure that we're all on the page.
It's tough doing an eminem, but if I can relax
with an eminem afterwards, Yeah, the only way to go
to go through an eminem is to have some eminem's
in the in your back pocket. Do you know what
(17:42):
they're filming? It's a reality show. But that person just
on the table paths out. I don't know what real
It must be a prank show. Oh my god, yeah,
I think it's a reality prank show. All right, Yeah,
I feel good then, So that's uh, that's thirty seven bucks.
That's eighteen cents, and you're gonna charge my card eighty dollars. Yeah,
(18:02):
so you're gonna pay the thirteen dollars cash, is that right? Yes?
And then the rest you're gonna put on card, yes, sir,
and you want me to split it between the six cards?
All right? We don't have change per se, but I've
got I've got some rope linked around the around the
radiator and just around your your your your mid section there.
So I think that should hold. Okay, I hope. So
(18:24):
just get that kidney out of me before it happens. Okay,
this is my first day, this is my first day.
I ran, I ran one of your cards today working,
but so I don't know if you got another one. Well,
I have another concern. Is he gonna pull a fresh
kidney right now? Because that I would love the freshest. Well,
my concern is making sure this card goes through that money.
(18:44):
If I can get the freshest kidney available, that's what
I guarantee you every single time. Now, remember, if you
get the grab bag, you might get a fresh kid
I know, it's just it's such a gamble. Yeah, it's happening.
I'm making an incision. I'm making an incision on changing.
Oh god, god, hyah, yeah, I just processed that card.
(19:09):
Uh huh, he's right here. Do you want talking? All right?
I gotta talk to him. I'm bad at this. I'm
bad at this. I'm not the Hello. Okay, I got
your left kidney. I got your left kidney. Oh wait
a minute, this is my left this is your right kidney. Hi, Dr.
Welcome back. Thank you. I got some good news. Thank god,
(19:31):
I could use some good news right now. Open this bag.
Oh my god, thank you. They're doing an eminem right
now on your brother. You know what, we can probably
pull this back and fix this right away. Okay, okay,
thank you, son? Can I STI still watch from here.
I can't believe that I have to bring this up.
(19:53):
But today's eminem actually has to do with way past
mortality and morbidity. We have doctors digging out mortality morbidity. Yes, yes,
tell me, tell me Dr Dr Lukin that you knew no, no,
I mean we knew. You're using pranking me? Is this
(20:13):
a prank show? Are you all pranking me that you
don't know all of these very important terms in this
hospital and sorry, what's what's today's mark? And Mindy? I
came in late today's eminem For those of you have
issues remembering, it's so easy to just remember those two letters.
Today's eminem um is actually really disturbing because we do
have a doctor and l just two letters. Very good,
(20:40):
and that's our first scene. Everybody all right? Well, our
next nightmare is from listeners stephen yactually her hey gang,
long time listener, first time caller. Shout out to my
favorite person, James. I'm not really funny except my looks.
Sure a emoji, so I'll get to it. C suggestion.
(21:04):
After getting his six month h a hash Brown's anonymous coin,
James has a massive relapse. Thank you for James. Can
I talk to you for a second just before you
you head out? Sure? I just want to say you're
doing such great work here and I really appreciate everything
that you've brought to it, and everyone in the community
(21:24):
is really responding to your efforts. So keep it up.
I know putting away deep fried potatoes for breakfast is difficult,
but I'm glad you're doing it your arteries. Thank you. Yeah,
and you know what if as long as I just
have cereal for breakfast. It's not even a temptation, James,
because I started to interrupt. Um, I'm a newcomer here,
(21:47):
and UM, I know part of the process is to
find a sponsor. And oh, I don't know if that's
something you'd be up to, but like, you know what,
I've just finished sponsoring the previous sponsorship that I had,
So I think you finished, You're done. Yeah. We do
it on a time basis. Yeah. We use a breakfast
(22:09):
calendar and then once that breakfast calendar is complete, then
we switch up sponsors. So I I've been looking for
a new sponsorship and I'd love to sponsor you. Oh
my god, this means so much, because I gotta say
I have I only have three days clean today. I
know it's not much, but you know it's a lot
for me. No, that's huge. The first days the hardiest
(22:30):
three days. That's tough. But you're gonna get easier, you know.
Do you mind if we're gonna we're gonna step out.
I you're gonna come with us, I'll just I'll just
hang around by if that's all right. Hey, why don't
we all go to breakfast? Alright, guys, let's just run
through this the Pasadena Potato Parade starts in like two hours.
Just want to make sure we have the flow of
(22:50):
traffic correct. Okay, should we even do it? I mean
it's just so close, I mean, is everything even ready
to go? I just feel like we should cancel and
just push the next year. I'm we have we have
never canceled a potato parade. I don't need a float.
I just need a walkway and and and I'll bring
the fire. Great, great, I guess, don't panic. It always
(23:10):
goes off without a hitch. Okay, yeah, sure, occasionally maybe
somebody gets off root and a parade float goes you know,
m I A, but I was lost that for sixteen hours,
all right. I didn't know what to do. I had
to start eating my float. Those potatoes were super glued. Okay, sir, okay,
I'm I know where time is of the essence here.
(23:32):
So I'm justs gonna go through the quick list of potatoes.
We have marching. So we have a gratten okay, Okay,
we have um frenched, great, perfect, Okay, who frenched? And
then at this point, um, at this point in the parade,
So we're gonna have the first French, go second that
(23:54):
we're gonna have three raw potatoes. It's kind of like
an ode to like olden days. What about set? Where's Rousset?
I'm not I haven't finished the list yet. Do you
say russetto? Yes, three raw potatoes now, sir, before you
got French? Before I put this running order up, did
(24:14):
you want to add Hashed this year? Or I know
last year was a little weird. Well, you know, Lionaise
had to drop out at the last minute, so I
think we can go ahead and add hash this year. Yes, sir, okay,
I'm putting this running on it rup now, thank you
sir from um can I I'm sorry. Can I clarify?
Are these people in potato suits are the sentient potatoes marching?
(24:37):
I like I wish we were centi potatoes. These are?
These are people? However, we are giving out samples of
the various preparations of potatoes as the parade goes down.
I'm gonna go with potato salad. I'll just thank you
so much us have a coffee, please, coffee? We got
a special one hash browns and well you don't want
(24:57):
any hash browns? Thank you? Okay, anything for you? Coffee? Okay,
all the time. I'm just here. I'm just I'm just here,
all right. So for me, it was like, you know,
Saturday became Sunday, and then Sunday became Monday, and Monday
became Tuesday, and you know, well, I don't have to
(25:18):
tell you. The avalanche just happened, you know, it just
came crashing down, and next thing I knew, it's Thursday night,
it's Friday afternoon. I mean, really inappropriate times day multi use,
you know, Yeah, of course that's why. I mean, some
people don't have a problem at that. Brown said, I know,
why are they? Why are they closing street off outside? Why?
(25:44):
It's the Pasadena Potato Parade. Don't you know? No, I
didn't ship. Do you think that the biggest parade that
Pasadena has every year? And that includes the Rose Ball?
Why are you dressed up like the chess aired cat?
Yeah that's here. Oh I'm not a sentient cat. I'm
a person in a church your cats outfit? Do you
(26:06):
know if they're towing cars outside? Yes, okay, that those
signs are large and have been up for days. Well,
we just got here, So what do you tell me?
You tell me this little pieces of hash Browns in
the coffee. The how am I supposed to serve that?
It's well, it's um, you just serve it in the coffee.
They were like his coffee because and you serve it
with a smile, and with a smile sucks. This restaurant
(26:32):
used to mean something, used to be the hottest restaurant past.
People should come. I know it's not the same since
your father's gone. I know it's not the same, But
I can't bring him back to life. They tried at
the hospital. Won't you trusting else? Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
back to the annual Passadena Potato Parade. I'm sky Dark
(26:52):
and I'm always joined by my co host Tell him
your name, Rick Santiago, Rick and Diego and Sky Dark
come in live from a beautiful day. I'd say it's beautiful.
Its beautiful potato weather. I think we can all agree
on that that this is a prime day for potatoes
(27:12):
marching down a pre approved path. Now let's talk about
the first second. Maybe some of our viewers don't understand
what makes good potato weather. Oh boy, well, you know,
if it's too overcast, the potatoes don't want to come out.
You know, they don't want to be out there. When
it's just a little bit of sunshine coming through but
not too hot, the potatoes blossom and their eyes see
(27:34):
the world for the first open. Here we go. Look
at this. We have the little groundings coming through. This
is a favorite. Every cute, so cute, so cute. Just
look at them. That's it's such a wonderful sight. Every year,
every anyway, we're getting international. Here we are about to
get frenched. Everybody, we're getting fringed. Honestly, how do you
(27:57):
not know about the Pasadata potato parade? Hoasted by sky
Dark the one day a year he's not up in
his helicopter reporting on traffic. I'm just with them, Listen.
I wasn't expecting that there's going to be a parade outside. Um,
but maybe we should. Well, you're in for a tree
(28:18):
because it's the best parade of the year, and you've
got the catbird seat. Okay, Well that's uh, that's I
guess I could just say that because I'm dressed as
a James. Why don't we just stay well, I feel
I'm pretty confident that I'm not in trouble, but I
worry about you. Three days I think I'm with you,
and I feel like I'm getting strength and he's here.
(28:41):
Oh my god, what's in this coffee? Oh my god?
Well what is it? How do you taste delicious? Oh
my god, No, don't stop drinking that coffee. Stop drinking
that coffee. What is this waiter? We should we should
do something to bring them back. I know there's rituals,
all right, there are books. There are books we can
(29:01):
use to bring him back. Or excuse me, YouTube, excuse
me YouTube. There's there's something in my coffee, and I
need to confirm what it is. It's hash Brown's asshole,
all right, that's family secret, my ass My father ran
this place. I read it with their father. Oh sky,
here they come, the bad boys of the Potato Parade,
(29:22):
Hash Browns what they want, and they're over here, over here,
hashbrow ass Browns. Fuck you Jesus. They are mean, but
they're cute about it. Wait, it seems like they're tossing
(29:43):
Hashbrowns into the audience. People are just in their mouths
and letting the Hashbron's fall right in lucky spectators smothered covered.
Chuck James, what are you? What are you doing? You
look like you're control. I'm out of control. You look
like you well, you know what it is. It's gonna
sound crazy, but inside of our coffee, it was a
(30:07):
little bits of hashbrown. It's kind of like they used
to do chickory wooden coffee. I don't believe that. I
don't believe that for a second. And you're scaring me,
and now I feel uneasy. And look right now, it's
the hashbrown portion of the parade and they're throwing out samples.
This is great news. It's what you call it cheat day.
Let's get out there. What those exist? Yeah? Yeah, if
somebody accidentally slips you some hash browns from your coffee,
(30:29):
you call it it. God damn cheat day. All right, guy,
it looks like one spectator is taking it a little overboard.
He's grabbing every single hashbrod you can see, and he's
always attacking the people. My kidney kid so you your backslid,
(30:56):
um and that's why you're you're at my door at
three am? Yeah? Yeah, we've all been there? Have we
have you? Have you I ate a man's kidney that
I thought was hashbro? Have we all been here? I've
never been there, But that's that's bad. That's bad. Do
I have to give my potato chips in Yeah, he'll
(31:22):
your your potato chips get wiped clean. But you started
one day at a time, One day at a time.
Can you promise not to have hash Browns tomorrow? Well tomorrow, sure, Gregory,
it's me, your father summoning me from the dead worked.
(31:45):
I'm here now to take my responsibilities as the head
restaurant tour of this breakfast establishment. Are you happy to
see me? Or oh you think this is a dream.
You seem to be sleeping. Why don't I do something
to let you know I'm here? Why don't I tickle
(32:06):
tickle tickle taco tickle tickle kill you? You're dead? Oh
my god, what's gonna Is this a dream? Come? No,
(32:28):
it's real life? Am I dead? That scene three is
from Alchemy the TiVo callio who wrote hello again, dear
I in prov evaculates, thank you for the continuous efforts
to keep the finest podcasts of them all alive and well.
(32:50):
Chicken his Church and other Goldie's with hugs. Here's another
scene suggestion, a very disappointing pirate treasure have fun and
for good a sake semin us of some love for
me as well vot of Finland. Excuse me, I think
that's our vessel. I think that's excuse me, um, Captain,
Captain Sherbert. Captain Sherbert, is that correct, Captain Sherburn? Quick? Great, okay,
(33:14):
lets get or something. Yes, gentlemen, you can bring the
stuff on here. Okay, this is about a lot of
these are a lot of shoecases you have for a
journey amongst your she Yes, well, we're, as you know,
we're looking for a lost treasure. I mean, he's got
to be prepared. You've got to have every outfit for
every day, just in case. I'm not sure you know
(33:35):
how a treasure hunt goes. Do you have a treasure map?
Of course? Captain is alright, alright, let's see it. Oh,
this is enjarted territory. Oh I've never been to an
island over here. I don't. Well, I will say it
(33:56):
is charted. There is a map. So just like than
that someone charted for me, uncharted for me. Where should
I put your scuba gear? Sir? Put it up? Put
it up by the steering wheel or something that's fine.
(34:16):
Steering wheel. I'd be needing to use the steering wheel
and have full movements around it. Put it in the
lower deck. Put it the lower deck. No, you too,
seem a little fancy. It looks like Sherbet's about to
hit the seas again. What say we follow them in
(34:37):
our skiff and see what he's about. I thought we
were going to have a Sunday. You know I don't
like sundays. You won't let me watch football. Okay, well,
I mean, can we have fun when we do it?
Of course we can. It will be just like old times,
(34:58):
you and your brothers and me crow in it up.
That's not what I meant by fung. But okay, I'll
grab my brothers and we'll crew it up. Johnny Steve Nickel. Ah,
we're gonna go. We're gonna We're gonna do it like
old times. We're gonna follow Sherbet's boat. But it's a Sunday.
(35:26):
I don't come on, Nickel. It's all right, boys, we
can do this. Let's just push our ther game face.
Let's get all the ship and see what sherbets a vote. Yeah,
all right, He's been bringing a lot of things, and
then it's just to show the boat. It's gonna be
hot for us to get this. I don't know understands me.
(35:50):
Then you need to listening close. Alright, Where should I
put the protective shot? Because I want to put by
the steering wheel? Okay, I've never needed to protect give
shot cave when you go down cage. When you fight
the sharks, you gotta do it. Fish to fish. They
have fished. Well, No, that's why you have an advantage. Oh,
(36:11):
when you pack for a shark cage, you're basically planning
to lose the fight. Oh. I don't plan on having
a caged fight with a shark. I I plan on
caging myself away from the sharks. But honey, honey, I
think we should listen to the captain. Okay, a captain,
and I'm going to be chartering this boat. And you've
(36:31):
brought a fine map to me, sir. It looks like
you've brought three boxes of vinyl. Yes, lindsay, we did.
Can you put those by the sto and lindsay, do
you mind tossing the cage? Just toss the cage out?
Toss the cage. This is a treasure hunt. We need
to have the bare minimum of things with us. And
(36:54):
they sailed for three days and landed on the spot
and there it is. We're gonna need to go back.
We're gonna need to go back. I forgot I forgot something.
We're gonna need to go back. I can't forget. I
had a special little camera I got it was supposed
to take a photo of me and my baby, and
we got it. I just can't get the treasure until
(37:16):
we get that guy. I just need to underwater. Was
an underwater just it just we I spare you telling
me you forgot yourself an action camera for the trip.
You're gonna when we did this treasure up, You're gonna
be able to buy hundreds of cameras. It's just really
not a money thing for us. Yea, what if we
send Lindsay back and what a dingy boats. I'm not
(37:37):
gonna send Lindsay out there, because if if I don't
have an eye on him, then we might steal our stuff.
They're turning around. Should we follow or should we go
ashore and try to see whatever it was they were
trying to find. Let's go ashore and have an actual sunday. Alright.
I did bring a picnic and a football to throw around.
(38:00):
Yes you hear that, nickel and they sailed back home.
But of course it was Wednesday, because it was three
days after they had left on a Sunday. Okay, now
where did I put it? Just? Oh my god, oh
my god, it was on the boat the whole time.
(38:25):
Don't you use that word? Hasn't it? Terribly started to interrupt.
I'm looking through the vinyl, and apparently you only have
the you only have the studio version of Rock and
Roll All Night and not the more familiar live version
from Kiss a Lot in. That should be fine. No, no,
it's it's completely unacceptable. Well, we'll have to return to Okay,
(38:47):
we're gonna have to this some bark. Why don't you
just park it here, let it idle. I guess I'll
go get the treasure with your map, and I'll bring
it back and we'll still split it area. Do you
think we're actually let you take our treasure? Just I
just we we can work together. Why are you putting
on your scooba gear? I thought we were going to
(39:08):
toss the ball around. You're gonna go exploring? Yeah, I
figured i'd go see what this is all about without
a shark cage, you know, just me out on the water.
You want all right, Yeah, let's go Nickel. Yeah, no,
the way, what are you guys gonna do? Kind of tired?
How might take a little nap. I'm gonna take a
(39:30):
nap to we want to treat it like And they napped,
and they napped and napped for three days, and then
another day and it was Sunday again and on the
third down they got to convert this or the Bears
are gonna have to just forfeit this game. They're not
gonna be able to make it. I mean, it's just
a shame. We were seeing that a lot. We've never
(39:52):
seen a forfeit in uh seventy five years of the NFL.
Said this would be devastating for the Bear I mean,
I mean, what a what a blemish on the franchise.
And you know, all right, dad, TV's off, but there's
about to be a forfeit. I've never seen that, so
I'm telling you that. I know you didn't believe me,
(40:12):
but I saw something shiny when we were down there,
all right. I really wanted to see what happens if
Mitchell Trabinsky throws a ship fit. But we can go down, okay,
let's oh god, damn it. It looks like somebody's beat
us to shore. Yeah, look through my telescope. Okay, and
where am I looking? Look at the shore and there's
(40:34):
a boat and there's people watching TV. Okay, I know
who that ish. That's a rival. I guess I can see.
I can just look without the telescope. Try the telescope.
It looks much closer. Hold on to lindsay yes, do
(40:58):
you have those like a hyper my upper classes bringing
my upper classes? I have the hype of binoculars and
the opera glass both or do you have a third
pair that I could see? Oh? We got its, son,
We've got it a shiny chest. Indeed, I can't believe
what a day for Captain Roger Arrival and his family.
(41:22):
Let's open it up. We look look at look in
the water out to see look that way. Yeah, it's
Captain Sherbert's boat. He's back. Well, you better open this
before he gets here and tries to claim it for himself. Okay, okay, Oh,
it's a it's a it's a it's a master lock
(41:42):
spin combination. Ah. Must not be very old then, or
they're pointing at Roy Rivals as pointing as he sees us.
Now we've got to put your hands and look at this.
So if we if we just adjust this centerpiece right here,
you can actually turn the binoculars to thermal. Isn't that
don't need that? We need to get to short or Nickel.
(42:06):
Nickel came here. We need your strength. Oh what do
you strength for? Yank this lock? Do you want me
to yank the chain? Okay? Hey, hey, yank the chain? Oh, yank,
yank the chain? Amongst you disturbs my treasure hid. The
(42:32):
master lock talks only the worthy self. Spin the dials,
take a turn. Let's take a turn. Let's see if
I'm worthy. Okay, hello, Mr Master Lock, I'm gonna try it.
Ain't twelve to the left right? That worked, that's but
(42:54):
your doubt locked the lock. If only you were sure
of your shifry. Come on get it, son, Okay, I'm
really sure myself. What was the numbers that he said?
You down? The number? You over here? Davy? Come on sleeping? Okay,
(43:17):
and you want to give it a shot, all right,
I'll give it a shot. But if I don't get this,
the bears have to forfeit. Twelve. You have unlocked the lock.
You are worthy, enjoy the treasure. Whoa, there you go?
(43:41):
Shall we do this together. Wait, hold on, Captain Sherber,
back up, back up. We found this thing fair and square.
He didn't find it fair and square. You followed me
and then I had to turn it on to get
an action camera. Get back from me. Treasure Who are
these two? Three? These with these three? It's their treasure
map that I followed, and are splitting it? Also, who
(44:02):
are you all? Yeah? Yeah, and I'm were the rivals
were Mr and Mrs Thornburn. Look, I'm sure there's plenty
of treasure for everyone. We'll just split it. Money is
not an issue for us. I just want that to sir, sir,
that the treasure case is full of vintage viny Oh
(44:25):
my god, already have so much of Hirosa Pablo Crew good. No,
this is not this is mostly like it's all right,
Oh but it's a bad album. You want to breast
whip cream album that everyone has. But there's a scratch
(44:47):
on Okay, sty Dark calling the game today, Bears game,
Oh my god calling it. I'm gonna watch because I
watched commentators. Yeah, we actually invest in the Bears, were
actually shareholders and the Bears and sky Dark. We also
invest in Skydark as well. He's got the best view
(45:08):
of the stadium from wait a check it, Hey, Roy Rivals,
how would you feel about switching around and being a
pirate with me? These two's got a lot of money
and we could just take it. You me your boys
out to sea like a famiary ha ha. Raise the
jolly around your because we're in business. Well, we don't
(45:30):
have cash on us. A lot of it's just in access.
It's lipid assets, but assets on the last, you do
have a lot of investments. I'm gonna put Tom Bachman
Turner over drive and Thin Lizzy's the boys are back
in town just to get us good? Is that two albums?
Sky Devastation Here at a soldier field as the Bears
(45:52):
are being ripped apart by their own fans after forfeiting.
Uh they are, they are athletes and the priv of
their career, but there are no match for forty thousand
agric people. Were just were just killing them. We learned
a lot, We learned a lot. Let's see what everybody's
(46:12):
up to. James Heeney, Well, my heart's finally backed down
to a normal rate after thinking that my dog was
gone forever. I was a little distracting Um, that's about
all I have to say about that. Thanks for having
me again. You never have to say that. Um, yeah,
(46:36):
I'm I'm I'm with James here. I was impressed by
his his outfit change because it's just so crazy that
something so scary was happening for him, yet he had
to wherewithal to grab a tract. Well, I grabbed the jacket. Afterwards,
I grabbed the jacket so the adrenaline didn't eat you up.
You were still cold. I was well. I had spilled,
(46:57):
I had spilled upon myself, so I had to play
with you. Thank you for having me, of course, Jackie
and Zale. Oh hey, Cole Well, I love I love
my time here. Thank you for having me. Um, and
tis the season. Tis the season to listen to the
most wonderful part of the year. Let's watch some Christmas movies.
(47:20):
Let's get in the mood. Uh feeling great, warm and fuzzy, holly, jolly,
nice Craik Kikowski. Thanks call. I meant to mention before
about Mike Nesmith that part of the reason he was
so over it with the monkeys was his family was
already wealthy because his mother invented liquid paper. That's I mean,
(47:41):
that's a fun tide right there. I can't hear him Cole,
it's stunned by the revolution. Joey Greer. Yeah, you know,
I think this is important to say because I don't
I don't hear it enough, but I know it's in
our hearts. And that's if you're gonna find an egg.
(48:05):
If you're gonna look for an egg when you're opening
that cart and you've seen it, he said, are all
the eggs intact or any of them cracked? When you're
opening it, say a little something sweet because I bet
that makes a difference. So when you crack that case over,
just go, you know whatever, but something whatever, whatever you
want to say. You know it's not coming to me,
(48:27):
but just something sweet, and I think I think it
will make all the difference. You're welcome. That's uh, not
quite a liquid paper tidbit, but it's it's nice. Nonetheless,
I'm at Cole Stratton or at Stratton Cole, whatever the
social is. Go to ask the sketch Fest dot com.
Our lineup is coming out in November. Uh there will
(48:47):
be at least three shows, so come check it out.
Um let's thank our engineering producer Doug Babe and the
fine folks at i heeart media dot com. Please write
to us at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
Our old demail address Alchemy this email until next time