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January 11, 2024 69 mins

Our tale of Orange County bastardry reaches it's apex in John Schmitz, the conspiracy maniac who ran against Nixon from the Right and blazed the trail that led us to Donald Trump

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Also media that sound Listeners was me opening a bottle
of my very favorite productivity beverage, club Mate, which you
can get now in the US in some places. It's
it's effectively a Yerba Mate soda that I started drinking
in Berlin because you get dehydrated when you're doing ketamine

(00:25):
and then eventually you get tired when you're at one
of those like underground sex clubs that's open for four
days in a row. And club Mate it's really really
really hits the spot. I like how they let you
in the club and not Elon Musk Robert. Yeah, because
I didn't. I didn't bring my phone, you know, right
right let me in. You weren't wearing a dumb ass

(00:46):
Zoro mask, they were, Yeah, yeah you had. I can
be separated from Twitter occasionally. Yeah. Now, speaking of guys
who are not allowed in German sex clubs, John George Schmidt,
it's uh that is the best too. Whenever we go out,

(01:06):
the people below way shout they go. John George Smith
is a piece of shit. La la la la. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
he's pro. He's got to be related to John Jacob Jingleheimer.
You know, they both have the Schmitz at the end,
more or less so. Our John Schmitz was born on
August twelfth, nineteen thirty, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, at the very

(01:26):
mouth of Hell itself. Now, there are unfortunately few details
that I ran into on his very early life. His
mother was named Wilhelmina, which is a red flag right
that name in nineteen thirty. That name means I love
Kaiservillehelm or at least my parents did. And his father
was Jacob John. There you go, there he does basically

(01:47):
between them and his dead Jacob John Schmitz. You're okay, no, no,
that's him, baby. Where's the jingle Heeimer? Or was that
just like a like a sort of unknown s s officer. Look,
nineteen thirty, you still did get some people who were
anti German racists. I would not be surprised if Jingleheimer
was a slur, like specifically, really it's like sausage eater. Yeah, totally, totally,

(02:10):
totally schnitzelheads. Yeah. They were devout Catholics. John would remain
a devout Catholic his entire life. And again we don't
know nearly as much about his childhood, but his family
seemed to have been comfortable middle class or upper middle class.
There's some hints that he may have had a degree
of family money, but it is unclear whatever it was,
either it wasn't that much, or his parents still wanted

(02:32):
him working a job, and he did have a job
as a young man, scrubbing out vats of beer. That
will be relevant for a very stupid reason. Later his
family was again comfortable enough that he's able to go
straight from high school into college, where he received a
BS at Marquette University in nineteen fifty two and subsequently
joined the US Marine Corps. He qualified initially as a

(02:52):
jet fighter pilot and then as a helicopter pilot. From
what I can see, he didn't do any combat tours.
He was instead stationed in North Carolina and then Japan,
flying F two H four Banshees and F nine F
eight cougars. Part of why I think he doesn't actually
get sent anywhere because obviously the US during the time
he's in the military is in Korea, and then kind

(03:15):
of while he is still in the military, we start
being in Vietnam. But he is in the Marines and
he is part of like kind of an experimental Marine airwing.
The Marines really hadn't had like that previously to the
same extent that they did at least with jet fighters,
and so his unit is not sent anywhere because they're
still trying to figure out if like that's a thing
that they think will work for the Marine Corps. His

(03:37):
career is then of little note but for one fact,
which is that after he retires from active duty in
nineteen sixty and transitions to being a reserve officer, he
volunteers to teach a class on communism for the Fleet
Marine Force Pacific Leadership School, which is based at the
El Toro Marine Corps Base. And the El Toro Marine
Corps base is in you guessed it, or County, California. Now.

(04:03):
Doing this series of anti communism lectures seems to have
basically been an excuse for Schmidz to rant about Communist
plots to conquer the world and how piece is impossible
with the Soviet Union in China to an audience of
young men who then went over to Vietnam and did
the kind of things that you did in Vietnam, most
of which you're not very nice. His lesson plan seems

(04:24):
to have been deeply inspired by Frederick Schwartz's. Again a
lot of Schwarzy names flying around here, very frustrating, but
Frederic Schwartz's anti communism school. And so given the mood
at the time, the fact that this dude is doing
basically the version of this big public anti communism school
that the Knotsbury Farm guy is funding, and that this

(04:44):
Australian fascist is doing the lesson planned for the fact
that John Schmidz is like doing a class on communism
for the military, it makes him fit in really well
with this whole whole fucking zeitgeist, right. Yeah. Leaving active
duty in nineteen sixty, he became a history and philosophy
professor at Santa Ana College. He quickly became a fixture

(05:06):
in the arch conservative Orange County political scene. He joined
the John Birch Society. He also attracted the attention of
local far right businessman, including Carl Karcher, the founder and
namesake of the Carl's Junior fast food Empire. Everything truly,
everything really really a remarkable set of things there, right,

(05:26):
not very far I love the both very Farm and
Carl's Junior are funding the fascist movement. Yeah, seriously, what else?
Like like the giraffe from toys. R us is just
is a fucking oh like oh he he he. He
actually is in Leavenworth still for crimes he committed during
the Vietnam War. Jeoffrey went went went too far for

(05:50):
even yeah, for even even the army in that period.
That's right, Yeah, Geoffrey. Geoffrey is the name of the giraffe.
Has been just a mountain of blood behind him. Yeah,
he had the Melai massacre was his idea. He invented
the concept of saturation bombing. That was him. Geoffrey the giraffe.

(06:13):
He's made of agent orange like what other loved it.
They got it from glands in his skin and folio
aided the jungle. If only I could blame a giraffe
for all of our country's worst crimes. Alas so we'll
blame the Schmidt's. You know. He gets out of the military,

(06:33):
he becomes a history and philosophy professor at Santa Ana College,
and he quickly becomes a fixture in this political scene. Right,
and he's working with the Carl's junior guy, with the
nots Berry farm guy. He had married while he was
still in the Marine Corps to a significantly younger woman.
I'm not sure exactly. But one newspaper I found from
when he was like in his forties described her as

(06:55):
youthfully pretty in contrast to him. So I'm gonna guess
a decent bit younger Mary is just as conservative as
her husband and almost as hungry for power. But I'm
getting ahead of myself here. So in nineteen sixty two, right,
the family Schmidts get their first daughter, a young girl
named Mary Kay. And we will be talking about who

(07:16):
Mary Kay Schmitz becomes a little bit later, because I
think it might surprise you, not that Mary Kay, not
the call leader, not that Mary Kay. No, no, no,
don't forget she exists though, because boy howdy, it's going
to really be a satisfying end to this series. Now.
The same year that Mary Kay is born, her father
would carry out an act of probable heroism that helped

(07:39):
make him into a local celebrity. He was leaving the
Marine Corps base one day after a long day of
screaming about communism to teenagers when he encountered a man
stabbing a woman by the roadside. Quote. With nothing more
than the sheer authority of his voice. According to the
La Times, Schmids disarmed the assailant. Right, So the story

(07:59):
is he finds this man stabbing a woman and he
yells at him, and that his voice is so commanding
that it disarms this guy. Now, that is I think
literally what happened in that this guy Schmid's yells at
this guy and he stops the attack. I think that
the casual descriptions these sources get tend to minimize a

(08:20):
crucial detail. And I want to make it very clear
that that details that the woman dies. Right. This is
not a case where he saves a life by stopping
an attack. This is a case where a man stabs
a woman to death, probably in a fit of rage,
and then someone yells at him and he realizes what
he's done and he stops. Right, He doesn't. He doesn't
commit a spree killing, because most killers aren't spree killers. Right.

(08:40):
He murders this woman for some specific reason, and then
someone yells at him and he realizes, Oh my god,
what have I done? Right, He says, Hey, don't stab
that lady. He knock it off. Knock it off, Hey,
knock it off. You you crazy kids. Hey that's enough,
She's not enough. You did it again. I'm not saying

(09:02):
he didn't do anything bad, but like you should. In fact,
if you see someone getting in stabbed at least yell
at the stabber. Sure you know at least you can do.
But it's framed us like he disarmed this man, and
I really don't think that's exactly exactly. They didn't talk
about the thirty seconds he spent watching it happen and
then was like, all right, buddy tweaking his nipples. Yeah. Well,

(09:24):
it's also the thing that's really weird because I will
I'll shit on him for everything, but this isn't a
bad thing. But the way the news describes it, they
always talk about how cool it is that he disarms
this guy with his voice and then just casually announced, oh, yeah,
the lady died, Like the La Times just summarizes it
this way. Although the woman died, Schmid's his reputation as
a hero was made just like, yeah, she died, but

(09:46):
what a cool thing this guy got to do. Very funny.
I love that all of the newspapers write at the
same way. It's just as afterthought. I find that darkly interesting.
That is funny. It is it's it's so unremarkable that
like it only is remarkable. If she lives, it's not remarkable.
If she dies, is everyone we get that right? Stop something? Yeah? Yeah?

(10:09):
Or if he's like stabbed multiple people, and then you
could genuinely say, yeah, maybe he somehow stopped more people
from getting stabbed. But I'm seeing here as she came
upon the end of a murder. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly,
you witnessed the very end of a murder. But I think,
if I can put my conspiracy hat on, I think
what's happening here is that, like Schmitz is a pr

(10:30):
savvy guy. He has a degree of charisma, He knows
how to spin things, and as soon as he realizes
what's happened here, like this is too good a story
to waste, I can really make this work for me.
And by nineteen sixty four, Schmitz had become one of
Orange County's leading political lights. He is still working as
a professor of philosophy and political science at Santa Ana University,

(10:51):
and he's already he's become very active in the John
Birch Society. His support for the Carl's Junior Guy and
several other wealthy conservatives ensured that he had enough donation
to run his campaign. So Schmidts, who regularly joked that
he joined the John Birch Society to get moderates to
vote for him, comes out blazing in this like local
state Congress election with a raft of absolutely bug fuck

(11:14):
policy proposals. He wants to ban sex set in public schools.
He wants to encourage citizens to carry loaded handguns in
their cars, which the corollary to that is he wants
citizens to leave loaded handguns in their cars whenever they
leave their cars. He wants to sell all California state
universities to private corporations so they can use violence to

(11:36):
crack down on student protests against Vietnam. That's why he
wants to privatize colleges so that the corporation can use
security guards to beat up students. This all occurred during
a very special time for the United States when the
most prominent Republican is again Barry Goldwater. Barry is such
for an idea of how freaked out people are about

(11:57):
what a fascist this guy is when Goldwater is running
like is in this campaign. This is lbj's re election campaign, right,
gold Well not reelection because he was never elected the
first time. But you get what I'm saying right. LBJ
has been president a little while since the Kennedy assassination.
He's running to continue to get to be president, and
Fidel Castro sends a private letter to LBJ basically saying, hey, man,

(12:20):
I really want you to win reelection. If you need
to bomb us a little bit right so you can
brush up your anti communist credentials for the election, I
get it. You just give me a heads up before
you fuck with us, and I won't respond like I
love you, bro, like good luck. That's it is because
like Castro is a rational actor. He's like, yeah, man,

(12:41):
Goldwater my fucking nucas, Like he's this guy might actually
be crazy. Like Goldwater is the namesake for what's called
the Goldwater Rule, which is this rule where if you're
a mental health professional, you cannot diagnose a presidential candidate
that like you know, isn't coming to you for medical
help or whatever. Because there were so many people in
media being like Goldwater may actually be insane. Like that's

(13:03):
how crazy we think his policies are, and he is.
It's also worth noting Goldwater a big reason people think
he's crazy is that he is one of these guys
like Henry Kissinger, who thinks low yield nukes should be
used tactically in battlefield situations, like we need we need
to win this battle in Vietnam. We should drop a
little nuke on him. So Goldwater's rule is you can't

(13:26):
diagnose someone running even if you're should not absolutely saying
insane shit. Yeah, you should not use that to diagnose
someone with a mental health condition someone else or this candidate, yeah, okay,
this candidate. Like basically, if someone's running for election, you
shouldn't say if you haven't like worked on them or whatever,

(13:47):
and can't. You shouldn't be like, this person has this
mental illness. Right, So we can't say Trump, yeah, as
a sociopathic narcissist because we don't know clinic Yeah exactly
is yeah, yeah, you're not gonna get. You're not gonna get.
A psychologist should say that, right, that's the Goldwater rule.
It's fine for regular people to say, I think that
guy's a fucking psychopath. Right, I think we've gone Yeah,

(14:07):
that's probably good. Yeah, yeah, we might have jumped the sharkody.
So I feel like this a few people. Yeah, I
know it's always debatable, but it tells you how crazy
people think. Goldwater is. Right, you have a whole rule
about not declaring presidential candidates crazy because of how crazy
everyone fact this guy was. Now. Another big thing that
Goldwater is a proponent of, and this is a less

(14:28):
controversial thing than the nukes, is the idea that positive
change for people who aren't white men means that society
is in collapse. Right, Goldwater opposes the Civil Rights Act,
as does John Schmidz and the rest of Orange County.
And this is the beginning of a new era, one
in which you can't be as racist. Right. You can't
say I don't want the Civil Rights Act because I

(14:50):
hate black people. Right. Instead, you have to say, I
love everybody, but my property rights are more important than
that right. And if you're saying we have to integrate
the school like private school, so you're saying private schools
can't be whites only, that's bad for property rights. Or
if you're saying I have to serve black people at
my restaurant, that's a violation of property rights. And so
I don't oppose the Civil Rights Act because I'm racist.

(15:12):
I oppose it because it's a violation of property rights.
And that's the most important thing in the world. Yeah,
this all comes down to like fair housing, right, yes, exactly,
and schooling and their education yep, access. I mean, but
again it's sort of what's running cover for what Your
libertarianism running cover for your racism, and then your religion

(15:34):
running cover for all of it, like just like blanketing
the whole thing. Yeah, And this kind of comes to
a head in California politics in nineteen sixty four because
there's this proposition backed by the California Real Estate Association
to rescind the Rumford Act, which is a state law
that makes it illegal to discriminate housing based on race, right,

(15:59):
And the proposition to like say no, we want to
be able to be racist in who we let buy
houses places is obviously like Orange County had kept black
people out for a long time by doing shit like that.
So the mobilization for Prop. Fourteen to let people discriminate
when they sell houses and shit, that's hugely centered around
Orange County. And I'm going to quote from the book

(16:20):
Suburban Warriors here. Indeed, one activist Tom Rogers of San
Juan Capistrano, who served as the campaign finance manager for
John Schmitz's state Senate run in nineteen sixty four, and
who shortly afterwards served as co editor of that Catholic
traditionalist paper, The Wanderer, asserted years later that for him
and many others, Proposition fourteen was what the movement was
all about. Goldwater's frequent references of freedom of association, his

(16:43):
belief that prejudice is the immoral issue that cannot be legislated,
and his strong advocacy of property rights placed him firmly
on the side of those opposing the Rumford Act. Moreover,
Goldwater's determination to fight lawlessness, his references to rising crime rates,
and his linkage of crime to lawlessness of other sorts
a reference to the civil rights and students movements, appealed
to the white middle classes in Orange County. So Goldwater

(17:07):
does not succeed in his dream of becoming the president.
But Schmidtz does get elected to the California State Senate
representing Orange County, and he is the first member of
the John Birch Society to make it into local California politics.
He immediately gets to work being the loudest, craziest asshole
in the Capitol. The first full year that he served,

(17:28):
nineteen sixty five, is the year of the Watts riots. Now,
if you know anything about anything, you know that this
becomes like a massive political issue for the right in California.
His attitude is not, well, this was a response to
generations of abuse by the local government and by the police.
This was a communist operation. He's so incensed that he

(17:51):
sponsors a bill to investigate the backgrounds of every public
school teacher in the state for communist affiliations. Like his
response to the Watts riots is we need to have
build a CIA basically to go after school teachers and
make sure they're not communists. That's clearly what this case is.
John develops. Yeah, he is just a maniac. Now, what's interesting,

(18:12):
We've been talking a lot about how Reagan is such
an important development for like the far right getting increasingly
into legitimate conservative politics in this country. John Schmiz hates Reagan,
so do a lot of Birchers, because they see Reagan
as a compromiser right, and a compromiser is the same
as a communist sympathizer. Schmidz is the only Republican Senate

(18:36):
member who votes down Governor Reagan's nineteen sixty seven tax program,
and his issue is that as much as they'd cut
taxes are still too high, and I'm going to quote
next from an article on cafe dot com by David Kerlander.
Over the next three years, Schmiz took many, often lonely,
far right stands. He argued for eliminating state income taxes altogether.
He sponsored a bill to repeal fair housing laws. He

(18:58):
argued that there should be no sex at you education
in public schools. He led an successful effort to censure
University of California, Berkeley for allowing black panther leader Eldridge
Cleaver to speak on campus. He fiercely spoke out against
abortion in women's rights. He also continued to buck fellow
conservative leaders. Schmids declined to endorse a presidential candidate in
nineteen sixty eight, telling the press, George Wallace is too

(19:21):
moderate for me. Hubert Humphrey is taking a dive, and
if I endorsed Richard Nixon, he might repudiate it the
next day. Like again, George Wallace is like the guy
who became famous for loving segregation as a governor of Alabama.
But that's what they want, I mean, that's effectively what
this sounds like. Right. They can't They've never gotten over it.
And here's what I've realized. Now we're in part two,

(19:42):
could we say, as a native Californian myself, I mean
not like you know, native to the land, but someone
who's born and raised in California obviously nor cal for life,
but that these are a kind of transplants that ultimately
the OC is a blight, is an anomaly, that it's
not really California. They're all from somewhere else. It's it

(20:04):
can me disign the OC, is what I want to know.
I feel like you can't, because I think a crucial
aspect of Californian culture, at least over the last going
back two hundred years or so, is the gold Rush mentality. Yeah,
the idea that the culture in this area, and this
is big thing in North cal too, right, it's a

(20:25):
big part of northern California San Francisco culture is like
a bunch of the people who live here now are
descendants of folks who rushed here to try to grab
a bunch of money from a social phenomenon that had
a ticking time frame to it, right, right, These upper
middle class and rich people who fill out the OC,
and who are you know, these kind of fascist maniacs

(20:47):
running the defense industry. That's a gold rush. That is,
one day there's nothing, the next there's all the money
in the fucking world, and you get a sprint over
there as fast as you fucking can to pick it up. Totally,
It just depends on the industry. Like Silicon Valley and
the dot com coon Valley is another gold rush, righty,
same idea, same cultural and so is the pod industry
as a matter of fact. Right, Oh, I thought you

(21:07):
said the pod like the podcast No, well, yeah, I
mean actually a little bit, right, that's less geographically centered
than weed or the tech industry, the defense industry. Gold yeah, true, true,
a little bit less harm less harm but it is.
You know, California is a state of like a lot
of our culture is gold rushes, and these people embody
it right. Yes, it's not a pretty part of Californian heritage,

(21:31):
but it is. It is very much part of it,
I think. Yeah, although you know, you don't need to
jettison them as much because things have gotten better. We'll
see if it lasts, right, there's there's always we noticed
a little bit in the beginning. Okay, so two so
not right wing enough for the Birchers and Schmidts. They
hate Nixon. They don't like Reagan much better. They do

(21:51):
like him better than Nixon, but not a lot. So
Schmidz is he's one of these guys where he's such
a howling fascist, but the Republican Party in this period
is not nearly as inviting of that. So most as
much as he yells about the left and socialism, all
the people he really fights hard in his political career
are other Republicans, right, Like he is constantly going to

(22:12):
war with Republicans now. His wife Mary is really interesting too,
because she uses her husband's newfound power and notoriety, the
fact that he's gotten elected. He's making all these waves
as this just kind of arch Bircher in California Congress,
she becomes one of the first female far right media influencers.

(22:32):
Right she gets on local TV, she has Eventually she
gets like a permanent place on a TV show that's
like a politics roundtable. She is just like a frequently
wanted speaker. She gets speaking fees in things, going around
supporting different candidacies. If she were around today, she'd have
a podcast in a blue check Twitter account, and she
would make seven figures working at the Daily Wire. She

(22:53):
is the prototype for that kind of like woman in conservatism.
Her handle, like her bio would be like like mom
wife American flag cross, yeah, you know, and she'd have
like really nice arms, which is always the most annoying
thing about right wingers is they all have the same
trainer and they all have the like just sort of

(23:15):
strong arms, which I don't understand. And simultaneously cut it.
People know what I'm talking about. You guys know that
right wingers are terrible, but the women have great they
have their arms are great only spoken truth, right, And
you're like, I don't know, you definitely can't fight like
they're not fighting arms I'm thinking of I'm thinking of

(23:38):
Ann Coulter. Yeah, and what in Ann Coulter like the
celebrity that I would compare her to positively, I think
this is actually a compliment for her. Is Jack Skellington? Yes, no, no, no,
we should probably cut all of that. Don't cut that.
She would she would take it as a as a
w she she appreciates it. Well, we got our go

(24:00):
to an ad real quick. We sure do, we sure do.
Speaking of Jack Skellington, he would want you to participate
in capitalism well passed Christmas. Yes, he doesn't actually like
Christmas all that much, does he. Anyway, whatever, here's ads

(24:20):
ah and we're back. So Mary schmidtz is to give
you an idea of like how people view her in
the conservative movement. Her nickname is the Phylish Schlaffley of
the West. So this family, they're just bad. Yeah, that's horrible.
Oh god, two real powerful right wing ghules. Yeah, oh lord,

(24:42):
very soon these people, you know, there's state level figures
right now, but very soon they're going to be in
the halls of real power throughout this whole time mid
sixties and stuff. The Senate representative for the district that
John and Mary live in for for you know, the
district that covers Orange County, is this lunatic right wing
hero named James b Utt, which yes, does look like James,

(25:04):
but when you type it all out, that is that
is the man's name. It is ut with two t's.
I know, I know, like that's like a joke you
would see some dude with a comic make on Twitter.
Yeah no, no, it's his real fucking name, that is real. No,
it's b uh James b You know what when your
name is James, b utt. You keep the bee because

(25:25):
you want people to think it's butt like you. You
relish the buttons because you're you want to be a
little you want to be an ass. Clearly, yeah what
you know what you're going to become, so James. But
his pet theory is that quote a large contingent of
barefooted Africans had been snuck into the United States by
the United Nations, which is a communist organization from takeover

(25:48):
the country. And that's where the Watts riots were. Not
a black people born and raised in the United States.
They were Africans snuck into southern California by the United
Nations to it destroyed the United States. But this is
the same shit. This is the same shit we talk
about now, right, and it generally is like the Jews
have done this, but it's right. It's like sneaking. They

(26:10):
sneak in the elites, sneak in migrants to rile up
the blacks until they want their rights. You know, they're
fine with black people as long as they're in their place,
as long as they're happily in ghettos and prevented from
you know, owning homes anywhere near Orange County of course. Yeah,
but yeah, it's the same shit. My god, it's the

(26:31):
same shit. And it's crazy how like they don't see
how much they recycle this stuff. And I think mister
Butt should get more credit. Yeah, no's that's what we
all feel about mister b Utt. So Ud was the
son of a rancher. He'd won his seat representing Orange
County by attacking his opponent for preaching the gospel of socialism.
He believed that the music of the Beatles had inflicted

(26:53):
artificial neuroses on young people and given them brain damage.
He was I will say this. He was occasionally on
the right side of issues, always for the wrong reasons.
He opposed the annexation of Hawaii, not on any kind
of anti colonial grounds, because the islands had too many
non white people and they would inevitably breed with white people.
That yeah, he is in his kill them all. No,

(27:17):
I don't want it. Well, then I don't want to
admit here. When his grandson decided to oppose the Vietnam War,
Ut said that he would have rather seen the boy
die overseas. Oh, he is just a giant piece of shit.
This is the Congressional the National Congressional representative for like
the district that Schmidz lives in. Yeah, and he's he's

(27:39):
just just a real bad guy, but extremely popular. He
wins an Orange County by a two to one majority.
Utt is one of the few men in politics who
is extreme enough for John Schmitz's tastes. He's basically the
only dude who could hold that office and be sure
John would not run against him. But then in nineteen seventy,
tragedy struck. James b Utt died to complications from being

(28:01):
a huge piece of shit. In literal terms, he has
a heart attack in church, which you might read as
God's striking him down if you're inclined to that sort
of thing. But while one lass dead Butt is generally good,
it also created opportunity for John Schmitz. Schmidz runs for
the former representative seat and wins. Now his camp the

(28:22):
slogan that he uses to like, win this special election,
it's impenetrable today. It's when you're out of Schmidz. You're
out of gear. That doesn't mean anything to you, does it?
What is it? No? Well, it's because he works at
the cleaning out beer steins in a beer company, and
there was like I think the slogan was when you're

(28:44):
out of Schlitz, you're out of beer, like for some
Milwaukee beer. But like he he takes this slogan that's
very much this like Milwaukee area beer slogan and he
repurposes it for a campaign in southern California. I don't
know how this worked. And the rule of puns it
does not work. Such a weird idea. You can only

(29:05):
change one side of the pun. It can't be both.
It can't be when you're out of Schmidz you're out
of gear. When it's if you're out of Schlitz, you're
out of beer. You got to keep Schlitz or beer
in there. Yeah, yeah. Otherwise it's just it's just nuts.
No one knows what you're talking. But he wins the
special election. It works. So now this fucking guy is
in DC and is a full on ass congressman. He

(29:28):
moves his wife and family to the Capitol and he
gets to work extending his unique brand of god awful
politics nationwide. His biggest enemy in government again is not
some leftist but his actually Richard M. Nixon, who schmid
saw you guessed it as basically a COMMI sleeper agent
from that article in Cafe dot Com. Matters were made
more tense given that he was President Nixon's congressman representing

(29:51):
the Orange County district containing San Clemente. Schmitz was particularly
critical of Nixon's rapprochma with China, telling the press, I
have no objection to Richard Nixon going to China. I
just object to him coming back, which is actually pretty good.
That's not bad. Schmid's vocally backed Ashbrooks attempt to primary
Nixon in nineteen seventy two, and so this is something

(30:14):
that pisses off Richard Nixon. Schmids has made it his
business to become a thorn in his side, and he
starts to expand in this period of time outside of
harboring these kind of economic grievances and even grievances against like,
you know, communist states, to this more sort of esoteric
conspiracy theory conservatism. In nineteen seventy one, he writes an

(30:35):
introduction to Gary Allen and Larry Abraham's None Dare Call
It Conspiracy the book, which was in hugely This is influential.
This is like the center of Alex Jones's ideology today.
The book argued that Eastern American elites, particularly the Jews therein,
were funding global communism. Alan proclaimed, among other things, that
Chase Manhattan Bank president David Rockefeller had personally fired Soviet

(30:58):
Premier in Dakita Khrushchev in nineteen sixty four. Jesus, you
know the Chase Bank guy has has has the fireda
codes for hacking the Soviet Union. Who could be more
influential in Soviet politics than the head of Chase Manhattan Bank.
Oh my god, it is so funny again, I mean,

(31:20):
who is the head of Chase Manhattan Bank? Was it
a Jew? Again? With these like broad like anti Semitic
thing like just like the history of this, It's just
like and the like superpowers that racists and bigots, anti
Semites apply to Jews is just wild. Oh yeah, yeah,
it really is. Then he hacked into that, I mean again,
and it's just the Jewish space laser. Marjorie Green, the Rothschild,

(31:42):
the same shit, same shit. Absolutely. Now, if you know
anything about Dick Nixon, and I know an unfortunate amount
about the man, you do you know that his chief
personality trait was that he could not let go of
a grudge, right, that is the main thing that defines
Richard Nixon. If he is angry at you once, he
is angry at you for all time. Now Nixon again,

(32:05):
he remembers his fucking enemies. And so in nineteen seventy two,
Schmids has just finished backing an attempt to primary Nixon.
He's been yelling at him the whole time, two years
he's been in Congress. Tricky Dick is like, well, this
guy's up free election. I'm not gonna let that son
of a bitch fuck with me anymore. He turns his
petty manchild laser on John Schmitz and he blasts his
career at national politics to smithereens. John loses the primary

(32:29):
nomination to a tax assessor, which is basically I kind
of wonder if Nixon did that on purpose, because there's
no one worse you can lose to as a libertar
an a tax assessor. I'm happy about this. Yeah, fuck
this guy. I mean yeah, I mean like Nixon, but no,
but you know, no, no, no, but I respect Nixon's

(32:52):
ability to both be petty and wheeled power effectively enough
to squash this motherfucker like a bug. Right, Yes, you
just have to take some satisfaction in it, like absolutely
Nixon beat everybody else, but at least this son of
a bitch didn't get a fucking like hand up on it.
That's the other thing is that I feel like the
right now is like, oh god, maybe I should cater

(33:12):
more to the John Birch society, or maybe I should
cater more to the far right, or maybe I should
change up my tune. And it's like, eh, you know,
it takes a certain sob to be like, no, fuck you,
I'm the president, I'm doing what I want, and yeah,
I'm gonna kill your career there you go, Like, I
don't know. I respect that. I respect that more than
I respect someone who's like just gonna be yeah, cajoled

(33:35):
by the most extremeist elements of their own party and
literally stands up for nothing and cannot lead. And I'm
not even talking Trump. I think just broadly the Republican
Party what it's become. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least Nixon
there was this like animal cunning at work with the man.
You had to at least respect in the same way
you respect a tiger in the woods, you know, as

(33:57):
opposed to just like a horde of of fucking hovelina
that have gotten drunk on prairie wine, which is how
I feel today. So Schmitz was adamant that this was
all a conspiracy. You know, when he loses his reelection
and Nixon had flexed his influence and done it specifically
to embarrass Schmitz, and that is probably what happened, right,

(34:19):
Schmitz is like the president had his henchman come out
and get me. And honestly, this is the one conspiracy
Schmitz believed in that like, oh yeah, there is no
world in which Dick Nixon did not destroy this man
for hitting him from the right. That is totally in
character for Richard Nixon, and you would have done the same.
So now the thing here, this is really a case
of you've got Schmitz fucks with Nixon. Nixon being a

(34:41):
petty bitch, like destroys his chance at getting re elected.
And then but the thing is, like Schmitz is also
extremely petty. So when Nixon knuped his hopes of staying
in Congress, John Schmitz starts scheming. Fate presents him with
an opportunity in the form of a bullet which an
assassin fired in the body of George Waller, the segregation governor.

(35:02):
Wallace is badly hurt and he has to drop out
as a presidential candidate for the American Party. Now, I
know what you're saying, Francesca. The American Party isn't a thing,
but it was, it did used to be. Yeah, yeah,
this is now deep political lore here for the country.
But it was a third party that was formed entirely

(35:22):
to support the ambitions of George Wallace. Right, Like, if
the fact that Goldwater isn't just saying slurs on stage
doesn't means you don't trust Goldwater, and if the fact
that Nixon isn't completely out of his mind means you
won't vote for Nixon, the American Party has got your back, right,
thank god, we love you. Just a little slur, only

(35:43):
a bit of slurs, Yeah, more than a bit. This
is George Wallace. So now Wallace is to the right
of Goldwater, even to the right, I don't know, even
to the right. Like they're just kind of saying he's
just cruder, right, I think is probably a better way.
He is more. I don't think Goldwater like he is
more directly motivated by racism. But they are both. They're

(36:03):
both of their campaigns are pretty race baby, right y, yeah, yeah.
And the American and this is you know Goldwater, I
think is sixty four, This is sixty eight. And in
the sixty eight well, the sixty eight election is when
the American Party runs for the first time and it
does really well. They get ten million votes in the
nineteen sixty eight election, right, And that's that. This is
it comes to something it's kind of relevant today, which
is that you know, we're starting twenty twenty four, which

(36:26):
is this presidential race is going to be the first
race in a very long time where a third party
candidate seems likely to win a lot of votes, right,
talking about RFK, the Kennedy Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, the
new Kennedy that we got up in politics. He's going
to get only enough like certainly not enough to win
the presidency, but more like he is polling better than

(36:48):
a third party candidate has in a time like since
I've been you know, aware of politics, right, that's yes, yeah,
I don't know. I think we're going to find his
vax card at some point, he's got a vax card. Possible,
it's all going to be over. Yeah, anything could happen.
It's January, as you know. But I it is like
at the moment right now, he is more a bigger

(37:09):
factor in the election than a third party has been
in quite a bit, right sure, But I'm bringing this
up because I want to talk about how significant the
American Party was for a brief period of time. They
get ten million votes in the sixty eight election. Today,
the Libertarian Party in the US has seven hundred and
thirty two thousand registered voters. The Green Party and Constitution
Party together are another three hundred and fifty thousand. Right,

(37:32):
Ross Perot got about twenty million votes in nineteen ninety two,
but he was a billionaire and he had the money
to finance a sizeable campaign, and the next election he
barely he barely broke eight million votes. So while this
is American Party, it's not going to win the election,
but it can it can spoil the election for a
Republican ten million votes. That kind of potential. Having done

(37:53):
that in the previous election, that's not something to scoff at, right, No, Yeah,
so you know, now that's interesting. So the American Party
is not this inconsiderable thing within US politics at the time,
not entirely, and any candidate who could perform at the
level Wallace had might be able to take away enough
votes from Nixon to assure his re election. Schmids wanted

(38:15):
to be that man, the fact that he might be
able to wrench the Republican Party for the because again,
you know, if you force Nixon out, right, if you
make him lose the election, then the fact that you
got that many votes might is going to convince a
lot of Republican leadership. Okay, we need to speak to
some of the issues that this guy has adopted. Right,
that's I think his assumption, right that I can wrench
this party to the right and I can hurt Nixon,

(38:37):
who I hate and who is a communist. Anyway, he
gets the nomination for the American Party at that party
convention that year, and he's you know, I'm actually going
to read a quote from that Cafe dot Com article
again about like how he kind of frames his campaign.
Schmidz continued to tie himself to conspiracy theories. He made
much use of his connection to none dare call it Conspiracy,
which by election season had blown up selling five million copies.

(39:01):
Gary Allen even came aboard the campaign, providing his mailing
lists accumulated from the book's success. He also suggested Arthur
Bremer Wallace's would be Assassin was part of a cadre
of killers, which also included Lee Harvey Oswald, James Earrolray,
and Sir Hans Siran, that was secretly funded and trained
by left wing groups like the Students for a Democratic Society.
Schmid summed up his basic presidential campaign pitch. I boiled

(39:23):
down our platform to a two plank platform. There's a
foreign plank that says, never go to war unless you
plan on winning, and a domestic plan that says those
that work ought to live better than those who don't, right,
which is both not politics and also real. Easy to
see why that spreads among a certain chunk of the country. Right, Oh, yeah,
so cool stuff. You know what else is cool? Oh?

(39:44):
I know, it's cool. Ads. Sure, the nice cool breeze
of capitalism blowing down our backs and we're back. How
you feeling, Francesca about all this republican ting. Yeah, it's
a lot of republican ing. I'm feeling overwhelmed but fascinated

(40:08):
by all of this. I wish we had the countervailing
force on the left to do shit like this, but
we don't. But I love Yeah, the evolution of the
rights thinking really hasn't evolved at all. Yeah, I mean
this is really the evolution of the rights thinking, right,
Like the evolution of the modern right is so much

(40:29):
where this guy was back then. But the broader Republican
Party adopts a lot of those attitudes in part because
Schmidt's it kind of cracks that wall between Orange County
and the rest of the country, right, well, because it's
simultaneously it seems like Orange County is it is just
so isolated from the rest of the country that is
turning on things like the Vietnam War, that is for

(40:52):
things like not just integration, but like civil rights exactly,
like actual civil rights, and certainly more so than oc
is and an awakening, and just more culturally, like there
is a backlash of course against like conservatism of your
parents and whatnot. There's like free speech movements, you know,

(41:13):
like whatever, you know, hippie movement, drug culture, whatnot. Like
there's a whole rejection of this bullshit, which is why
Reaganism was such a fucking blow. So was Nixonism, Nixonianism,
so is Dixism. But yeah, it it is is interesting
to have schmids come in here and get that many
votes and then also with such a simple play. I

(41:34):
believe in money, money number one, and white people, I
mean private property, yeah, money, but just for the people
who are already rich exactly, and bombing people who do
not live here like that's that's his plank. Right, It's
a perfect encapsulation of right wing isolationism, you know, which
is if you're gonna fight a war, make sure you
win it, which is the if you're gonna go to

(41:56):
war in the Middle East, take all the oil. Right.
It's that like it's voted as isolationists, but it's really not.
It really is as we talk about, like super pro war.
Just kill them all dead, deader than dead, Yeah, kill
them all, take their stuff. Yeah. Now for a running mate,
he picks a guy named Tom Anderson, who is a

(42:16):
farm magazine publisher who was far right, but also not
the kind of guy who's going to detract attention from
the main show. Mostually, I take pictures of cows. Cows
lounging is livestock, yeah, just looking it's like a right
wing livestock magazine. I think it's an early homesteading magazine, right,
and you're saying we need to go back to the
land to drop out of society because like, like a

(42:39):
guy who takes pictures of cows. I would that that
sounds like a cool dude this but that sucks. Yeah,
he got drawn into this mess. Yeah, yeah, poor guy.
What a bomber. So his campaign manager is Dan Smoot,
who's a former FBI agent who's obsessed with the Council
on Foreign Relations and because this was fun in California,

(43:01):
his finance director is actor Walter Brennan, who had won
three Best Supporting Actor Oscars. So that's this guy's bench. Yeah,
what a crew. They had better celebrities though, I feel
like all the celebrities you mentioned are like at least
at least they won Best Supporting. Yeah, he seems to
have been an actor. I don't know. I can't recall

(43:23):
anything he was in. But Gina Carano now or fucking
uh no, no, no, Tim Brewer, Jim Brewer, whatever the
name is. Yeah, it's Jim who cares what happens Jim. Yeah.
So the campaign was immediately aggressive, filled with wealthy, small
business owning middle aged men who were just desperate to
get to feel like they were like insurgent revolutionaries. One

(43:46):
American Party official told a journalist, this party is a
distillation of the John Birch Society, the Christian Crusade, and
the Minutemen. We're revolutionaries. We're getting together to try to
work through the system. But I'll say this, we'll have
constitutional government in this country, and if we don't get
it through a ballot box, we'll get it in the streets.
That's what the constitution would want. Again, that's very much

(44:07):
that like J six attitude. Yeah, it is. We're going
to work through all of our daddy issues together. If
we lose an election, we have the right to kill people,
right Like, That's what he's saying. And Schmids knew that
he had an uphill battle in getting elected, or, more
to the point, stopping Nixon from getting re elected. His
brand of paranoia utterly fantastical conservatism was not popular nationwide,

(44:30):
but he was tailor made for media sound bites, which
helped to keep him in the news. He told ABC,
the Nixon family motto is be sincere, whether you believe
it or not. He presaged both Donald Trump with his
meaner lines and the presidential campaign and personal brand of
Ronald Reagan with folksy right wing witticisms like this, do
you know why a newborn baby cries because he's naked,

(44:50):
he's hungry, and he already owes the government fifty nine
hundred dollars in taxes, Which is funny because like, well,
that baby already owes private corporation of dollars for being born,
because that's what it costs to be fucking born. And
this system you people insist on continuing to have for
us and Jesus for dying for its sins. According to them, Yeah.

(45:11):
In Cafe dot com, David Kordlander writes, quote, The Wall
Street Journal offered a piece entirely devoted to Schmidz's rhetorical flourishes,
entitled keep them Laughing as the motto as John Schmitz
runs for president. The piece even referred to Schmid's as
sort of the Bob Hope of the ultra right. Oh God,
what an unappealing series of words. His mix of jokes, conspiracies,

(45:34):
and righteous indignation at everything he deemed the political establishment
garnered decent returns. He managed to get himself on the
ballot in thirty two states, even as Wallace refused to
formally endorse him, and in the decades to come this
kind of style of far right populist conspiracy messaging. Really
the fact that he is marrying outright conspiracy theories to

(45:55):
an attempt at mainstream politics. This is now dominant, right,
This is the dominant for conservitism, and be honest, it's
not not dominant on the left as well, just in
a different direction. But like, conspiracism is so mainstream now.
And we all get together in the Epstein conspiracy that's
where we meet. Yeah, that's the Serengetti for a little while,

(46:19):
and then we all go. Then we decide we want
to be angry at specific people on that plane. Differently, Yeah,
I do think we should do a squid game for
all of the people in the Epstein books and to
pretend whoever survives didn't do anything wrong or their children,
you know, send their children there, sort of like the

(46:41):
Hunger Games, but for the rich. I do, like, I
do think it'd be fun make a lot of money
as a TV show. Oh yeah, I mean, God, don't
get me started on that TV show. And Netflix is awful,
but I would I love them, But I do want
to hear what Chompsky has to say, because he apparently
was also as associate. But no, more importantly, I want
to hear what Kate Blanchette has to say. I really

(47:03):
actually want to hear what she has to say, Like
what the hell, my girl? Yeah, I want them all
to have to say all what Yeah? Yeah, I mean
he did do Epstein did do a lot of flights
to like anything that would get famous people on his plane,
to like different galas and shit overseas. But I don't know,
maybe can't, I can't. I have trouble imagining Cameron Diaz

(47:26):
wanting to buy whatever he was selling. But who knows,
who knows. I think it's just like everyone who was
famous in the year two thousand and two. That is
a lot of them, But a lot of those people
are also sex creates. It's a mix. This is it's
a really it's a grab bag anyway, we're getting off topic.
But but but the conspiracy theory, yeah, that wasn't It's

(47:50):
interesting that it also is the media because he and
his wife are also media figures. So it's the marriage
of the media figures good sound bites, which is what
you need, or at least what the media wants and
the conspiracy. Yeah, it's one of those things where he
has predicted where things are going, but also at his time,
the Republican Party is not ready for that. Right. He

(48:10):
does not succeed in his time because it's just not
You can't win nationally, even among Republicans doing that quite yet.
That's not really going to be possible until you've had
a few generations of Rush Limbaugh and Andrew Breitbart, etc.
Propagandizing to the masses. That's it. He doesn't do badly.
He takes in one point two million votes, which is

(48:30):
an amount vastly higher than nearly any third party candidates
get today, but also well short of what Wallace did.
In his concession speech, Schmidts aptly identified that Republican influencers
would use his techniques to win support of the dedicated
maniacs who made up his base in the future. We
got one million votes enough to strike fear in some
hearts in this country. He's not wrong there. He saw

(48:54):
this as a good start. He was at the time
the seventh most successful third party candidate in US political history,
and his plan was to double down, get back into Congress,
and weld together a coalition of the deranged that could
lurch the Republican Party to the right and act as
a constant thorn in Dick Nixon's side. They were not
aware at this point that Nixon was going to get shitcammed.

(49:14):
Coalition of the Deranged is beautiful. Yeah, yeah, well that's
what's going on here. Right. While he plotted, his wife
organized her campaign against the Equal Rights Amendment and scored
a job on TV as a political pundit. Things were
going great for the Schmitzes. They had power, money, and
growing influence. Soon in nineteen seventy three, John Schmitz, who's

(49:36):
again a family values candidate. Right, that's a big part
of this degeneracy and modern era. Our kids. Oh yeah,
we want to know what comes next. Oh he gives
himself a mistress. Yees. Yes, this guy is both a
creepy politics dude but also a professor. So of course
his mistress is one of his former students, much younger,

(49:57):
Carla Stuckel. He is like fifty now, he's like in
her late twenties, And he starts sleeping with his student,
Carla Stuckell, former student, and then he fathers two children
with her over the space of a few years. And
while he's doing that, Mary Schmidz is doing her phillish
laughly routine. She's going on TV, she's organizing the fight

(50:18):
against the equal rights and then that are helping to
you know. And while you know, he is seeing his
mistress and she is becoming a media influencer. You know what,
no one is doing watching their fucking kids. And this
is going to end in tragedy. One August afternoon in
nineteen seventy three, both parents are out and their daughter,
Mary Kay, a sixth grader, had been put in charge

(50:40):
of the baby. Philip time out, time out. First of all,
that's totally not a nod. You can totally do that. No,
this is family one, family two. What are we talking about.
We're talking about mistress's family. We're talking about Mary. No, No,
his his family one family og Fang, his daughter from
family one, Mary Kay, who I told you to keep
an eye on for this. Although this plays into why

(51:01):
you need to remember Mary Gay. They have her watching
the baby while he is having sex with his former student,
and Mary is on TV. Right, and I'm gonna quote
from the La Times here. The baby was a fearless
three year old and when he took off his life
jacket and stepped into the deep end of the pool.
Not even the diligent Mary Catherine, playing the shallow end
with their older brother Jerry, noticed the tiny splash only

(51:24):
after their mother began looking for Philip. Was he found
lifeless on the bottom of the pool. So that's bad. Yeah,
pools not great. And I mean people who are not
wealthy enough to have this problem don't know, but like me,
but apparently, Yeah, pools are total death traps. There's like

(51:44):
one of them leading killers of babies. Of course it is,
they're not that's not even surprising. I mean, guns are
really trying. It's just a thing for a small person
to drown it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, guns are truly trying
to Like I think it might be no, might actually
begun to this point. But pools, oh, I think I
probably beat him at this point. Yeah. Those are much

(52:06):
more affordable than al everybody gun. I know, if only
pools were as accessible, we could be drowning in case,
we could really up those numbers. So you know, this
is tragic, obviously, and it brings Schmidt's a lot of sympathy,

(52:26):
partly because nobody knew that the reason he had not
been there to watch his baby. Is that he was
having sex with a woman not his wife, who was
also his former student. You know, if people had known
that he was a fraud as a moral paragon and
that his son had maybe died in part due to
his ambitions, they might not have felt as positively about him, though.

(52:46):
But this doesn't come out immediately, right, and through the
mid nineteen seventies to the early eighties, Schmids, you know,
continues to run. He gets back into state Congress. He's
in California Congress for another term. He makes another national
level campaign, and he becomes more comfortable broadcasting openly racist
remarks on the campaign trail after lawyer Gloria Already gives

(53:06):
him a leather chastity belt during a state Senate committee
on abortion, and Gloria is like making fun of him.
He's they're doing. They have a state Senate committee in
California on like abortion laws, and obviously she's Gloria already
she thinks it should be legal, and that he is
being a howling fascist about it and saying no, women
shouldn't have the right to have sex, all right, And

(53:27):
so she gives him a chastity belt, right, I love it,
which which actually he needs. It's like a joke. She
doesn't even know that he's fathered. He literally does. She
has actually anticipated a real need. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He
issues a press release calling Gloria and other pro choice

(53:47):
activists quote a sea of hard Jewish and arguably female faces.
There is there. He said it. Yeah, he did it everybody,
And there's a backlash to this. Even in the seventies,
you can't say this, like, so there's a backlash. In

(54:11):
his response to the backlashes, basically they say, I don't
hate Jews. They're like everyone else except more so, which
is still pretty racist. They're like everyone else, except they're
not like everyone else. I mean, it's something people used
to say it about the Japanese too. I think it's

(54:31):
like a classier way of saying they're not like regular people.
I think it's what you say too when the group
you're afraid of has a reputation at least for like
being powerful in an industry or in some other way. Right,
you know, Japan is a military power. When people are
saying that about Japan, there's this widespread attitude that Jewish
people run certain and I think that's kind of what

(54:51):
he's saying, right, So it's the polite company bigotry. Yes, yes,
it is the polite way of saying I think the
Jews run the media, right, That is basically what he's saying.
He also he did not just confine himself to talking
about Jewish people. He said of Latinos, I may not
be Hispanic, but I'm close. I'm Catholic with a mustache,

(55:12):
which is what a wild thing to say. Say. Yeah,
that's what a dad or that's what a guy on
Sinco de Mayo says. Yes, yes, a nacho bull like sombrero. Yeah,
and calling every waiter pedro. Yeah. He also called Martin
Luther King Junior a notorious liar. He had regained a

(55:33):
Senate seat in nineteen seventy eight, but he failed in
two campaigns to win election to the US Senate. By
nineteen eighty two, he had been thoroughly relegated to the
status of a local headache. And then in nineteen eighty two,
a month after losing yet another primary election, the news
broke that Schmidt's had fathered two children with his mistress.
Now you want to know how this news broke, because

(55:55):
this is a fucking story. Oh yes, kay, it's may
It involves a penis injury, so not a good one.
This is a child's penis injury. So nobody laugh. You're
not allowed to laugh if you just had laughed before,
feel bad about it right now? Yeah, you're thinking about
thirty seconds reflect on your crimes. Yeah, yeah, you sick ohs.

(56:17):
So his also, this is kind of a sicko thing.
He names his second son out of wedlock after his father. No,
which is a weird move for your kid. You're gonna
deny the rest of his life. But okay, like you
have to have a little bit of deniability, like if
your wife finds out, but like, that's not my kid.

(56:41):
It's like, yeah, it's after you're dad. Named after your dad,
Are you kidding me? Yeah? Its name is Snitzy Ditsy,
Like come on now, yeah, and it's you know, the
reason this all comes out. So he's got this kid,
John George, who is a baby at this point, and
the baby gets booked at an oc hospital for an

(57:03):
injured penis. The injury is very peculiar. A piece of
hair had been wrapped and it's described as being wrapped
in a square knot around I think the head of
the penis so tightly that it had nearly severed the member. Right,
So the baby has to have surgery. He it's fucked up,
but the baby's fine, like it does, he does recover, right.
But the incident prompted obviously an investigation. Right, that's the

(57:25):
kind of thing that looks like it could be something intentional. Right,
someone hurt this kid, you know, I think they're perfectly
reasonable to look into this. Detectives threaten to arrest the
baby's mother, Carla Stuckle, if she didn't tell them who
the father was. And I think this is the police
assume if someone's abusing this child, it's probably the dad.
So we need to figure out who the dad is,

(57:45):
right yeah, yeah, And they're like, look, we'll arrest you
if you don't tell us. And that's how Schmidt's get
his name gets out, right because he's famous, Right, he's
there local, he's been there wrapped a couple of times.
He's this big figure. So mom, so I know, like
I see all these Instagram posts and some of them
are like careful with you know, stray hairs, because I
guess hairs. Yeah, you know, when like a hair gets

(58:05):
like wrapped around your finger, like that can happen, and
it can be hurt, and it's hard to like cut
it or break it. Just random thing reasons for parents
to worry, random shit, but like getting it out of
your dick. Like I don't believe in God, but I'm
pretty sure God put that piece of hair around. Oh God,
that is kind of the shitty thing God would do

(58:26):
instead of just strike John Schmidt's down, make a baby
suffer to ruin his career, fucking asshole like that is
is a very old testament God. So you know, the
story breaks. I'm sure the police just can't keep their
mouths shut or whatever. But like it breaks, and it
creters John as a political figure. This is the end

(58:46):
of his like meaningful public life. He makes another congressional
run in nineteen eighty three, but he loses by more
than fifty points. The affair was such a scandal that
it also ends Mary Schmidz's career on TV, which is
a kind of evidence of some massada, right because like,
this isn't her fault, right that her husband cheated on
her with a lady, but she loses her job on

(59:07):
TV as a right wing shithead anyway, I guess it's
unjust she does suck, so you know, take you think
about that how you want. I guess the two separate,
but they get back together. True to his nature's human garbage,
Schmids never supports Carla Stuckle or helps to support their
He refuses to pay right. He is like this his

(59:27):
whole life. When the police question him, he tells the
police straight up, I do not and will not support
him financially. Because the police are like, do you want
to help pay the bill with the hospital for your son?
He's like, I will not pay any money. It is
her responsibility to take care of him, not mine. Replicans
party of personal responsibility. Yea, indeed, I mean at least

(59:50):
I will give him this. He didn't, like, you know,
advocate for stealth abortion the way other Republicans do with
their mistresses. Right. No, he has the kid and then
he I mean he was anti abortion, but he does
have his kid, yeah, and then allows them to live
a life of like, you know, a shitty life where

(01:00:10):
his dad doesn't hug him or support him or love
him the way Republicans want in order to breed more Republicans.
Guess what, You're head of the game again, Francesca. Okay,
these kids have a nightmare life. Carla Stuckle is left
to support both children on her own. This is actually
did you watch The House of Usher? No? Oh, well,

(01:00:32):
these two kids have literally the background of the kids.
I honestly wonder if that's who what's his name was
thinking of what? Anyway, So Carla is left to support
these kids on her own, which she does until nineteen
ninety three when she dies due to complications from type
one diabetes. She had been like working barely keeping it
together to take care of these two on her own,
and then she dies. Schmids refuses to take either of

(01:00:55):
his children and they're sent to an orphanage. Oh John
Smith's god, it's fuck a piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah,
he just like, not my responsibility, not my job. Her
body made him fuck her like it's it's that's him. Uh.
He lives on increasing increasingly angry, interrational until two thousand

(01:01:16):
and one, when he dies of prostate cancer. The Journal
of Historical Review, which exists Tony the Holocaust, called him
a good friend in its obituary. He's a just a
cool guy. He is, by the way, a Holocaust denier.
He attends a vince held by the Journal of historical review.
Of course he has. He had to get the Bengo guard, Yeah,

(01:01:37):
exactly to complete it. Yeah, and that's almost the in Francisca,
because we got one bond on this episode. Yes, Sophie,
just read it at the start. I mentioned at the start.
Remember his daughter Mary Kay. Yeah, right, Schmids the daughter
that he had with his wife, right, who starts there

(01:01:59):
when her baby brother dies, Yeah, which probably fucks her
up somewhat. So in between John getting exposed as a
philandering fraud and dying while he's still alive, something else happened,
not to him, but to his daughter, Mary Kay. She
becomes a middle school teacher and she marries someone. I
want you do you want to guess what the last
name of her husband is becomes her last name? No, no,

(01:02:26):
Mary Kay Laturno, that's John Schmitz's daughter. Now, depending on
how much you know about this story, so you are saying,
oh shit, I actually don't know this story. But yeah,
in like the mid nineties, Mary Kaylaturno. I think it's
the mid nineties, Mary Kay Turno gets famous because she

(01:02:50):
starts she's a school teacher, a middle school teacher, and
she repeatedly statutorily rapes one of her twelve year old
male students and has two children with him. Oh my
fucking gets public and she it is a massive national
news story. This is front page news on every household
for weeks for the first female teacher is a predator.

(01:03:14):
And you've probably you've probably seen the clips of like
them when they're older and her being like, oh is
the boss and him being like what the fuck and like, yeah,
it's because they go on to like get married and yeah,
well she's I mean she in prison and then makes Yeah,

(01:03:34):
it's it's really dark. It's my gosh, fucked up story.
She died horribly though, so that's cool. She does die
really badly, so yeah, that's John Schmitz's primary legacies are
that he helped create the modern Republican Party that we're
all desperately hoping doesn't kill everybody today. And he gave

(01:03:57):
birth and raised Mary Kayla Turno, who became one of
the most famous pedophiles in this country's history. So oh,
I was not see that one coming, did you? Was
not ready for that last paragraph? Surprise pedophile in the

(01:04:18):
fourth quarter, baby, Oh my god, thank you for knowing
what the fourth quarter is Wow, they breed, this is
these are the kinds of people they breed. This is
what happens. Yeah, I mean if you I mean, you
know what I will, Mary Kayla Turno is a bad person.
But having your parents fist who neglect you and kind

(01:04:42):
of put you in a situation where you were responsible
for your infant brother or your child brother's death, couldn't
have helped. Like that didn't make the odds of her
turning out healthy better? Right? No? And also like we
don't know whatever, like some other ship might have happened,
you know what I mean, Sure, someone who knows exactly
like something else might have happened. She is bad and

(01:05:03):
so is he. She's bad, She's very bad. She's curse.
They're so cursed. Also sounds like a dog shit family.
It's a very dog shit family, Robert. I think this
is the first time in like a really long time
that I've been extremely surprised at the end of Yeah,
you didn't say that one coming at all, did you? So?

(01:05:23):
I wish I was more up on my on my
child rapists. There's a there's a there's a lot of
clips going around because there's a Netflix movie that's loosely
based based off the story called me Yeah, good stuff,
good stuff. I just know this is one of those
episodes that, like the instant I said that across the country,

(01:05:44):
like hundreds of thousands of people all went, oh fuck,
really you know I did not like it was. It's
such a funny bookend for this. Not funny because like
an actual child was deeply, deeply harmed here, more than one.
A lot of children actually armed in this story. But

(01:06:06):
just it was not not what you expect the first
ninety percent of this story, right, It's a fun distraction
from the rest of it, which was like the origins
of like the fly right and mano, Like that's I like,
you really refreshing, Yeah exactly, really exactly cleanse my palate

(01:06:26):
from all the other stuff. Mm hmmmmm. It's like that
sip of water when you're doing a wine tasting. For sure,
this is probably not a road to go down. No, no, no,
do not. But hey, look they got a Netflix show,
I mean movie, so oh yeah, no, I'm gonna be
watching that tonight. Yeah, poor Schmidz doesn't get a special.

(01:06:51):
So Francesca Fiorentini, you have a podcast Habituation Room, which
people should listen to. I have been on it. You
have you were great, you were there in person. I'm
doing another live show on January twenty eighth, seven pm
at the Gateway Theater in San Francisco, is a part
of SF Sketch Fest, and Miles Gray is going to
be there, and thank you so much. And now I'm

(01:07:11):
gonna just sit in shame that I didn't know who
Mary Kayla Turno was and I was just now it's okay,
it's okay, double knew it. I double knew it, So
we made up. You've got time before Sketch Fest to
really really work on some Mary kay laterno jokes. You
know what, if you just find David Letterman's monologues from

(01:07:32):
back then you can steal some one to steal them,
and Kat Williams will call me out for it. It'll
be great. Yeah, it's just been a pleasure so much.
Anything else you want to tell people, no, man, just
listen to the Situation Room and there's a comic and
uh oh yeah, there's always a comedian. There's always an
expert or and activists. We talk politics and kind of

(01:07:56):
big what the fuck are we going to do in
twenty twenty four stuff. So it's good. Yeah, yeah, And
I think that's it's useful. You're thebituation Room has a
style that is cathartic to it, and if you think
you need that right now as we start to head
into twenty twenty four, it's a great place to get it.
So you listen to some of that relax. I feel

(01:08:17):
too bad for laughing about the Yeah, no, you never
know where Married Kay Laturno is going to be heading
in an episode, so best I could do that any day.
I'm like, my face is a different shade. That's how shocking. Yeah,
so it's like how you know, you I may have
American history before j six and after we're like, oh wow,

(01:08:39):
now a coup could just happen at any time. It's
real to us now. The possibility of being confronted with
Mary Kay Laturno is going to be lurking in the
back of your mind every episode, Sophie forever. It's been
five or six years, and this is the first time
where I couldn't close my bow the pure shock of

(01:09:03):
the Mary Kay Turno draw. Yeah. See, it's a good
way to four. It is. I feel like I feel
like I gotta go, like hug a dog in this episode,
What Yeah, Yeah, Bye, all right, everybody, Bye bye bye.

(01:09:26):
Behind the Bastards is a production of cool Zone Media.
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