Bonus: An Update from Dani

Big news, Family Secrets fans: there’s a new season headed your way in just a few weeks (the first episode drops February 6—mark your calendars!) ‘Til then, it seems as though there’s no end to the number of secrets Dani continues to encounter while she’s traveling around the country for her book. Dani shares what she’s learned from her conversations with her podcast guests, her readers, and Family Secrets listeners over the past year—and why she thinks the end of the era of the secret is upon us.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. This January,
Danny's taking Family Secrets on the road. To get your tickets,
visit Danny Shapiro dot com. Hey all, it's Danny here.

(00:22):
I've been hard at work getting season three ready for you.
That's going to launch on Thursday, February six, not too
much longer to wait. In the meantime, it's been amazing
to see so many family secrets pouring in through the
special line we set up to record your stories. One
Secret zero do keep it up. We love listening. But

(00:45):
today I thought i'd share with you some of what
I'm continuing to hear and see as I travel the
country from my book and for this podcast. You guys,
it's epidemic. I truly believe we're living in the era
of the end of the secret, and so many of
those secrets that are coming to light are family secrets.

(01:06):
I see you when I'm doing an event from the stage.
I notice your faces in the crowd. You the young
woman with the direct gaze who radiates intensity. You're almost
always someone who has just discovered a big DNA surprise,
a late discovery adoptee, someone who is donor conceived. Whatever
it is, the intensity, the aliveness, the hunger is unmistakable.

(01:33):
You the couple holding hands tightly, who look frightened, confused,
sometimes upset. You believed you were doing the right thing
all these years, not telling your children the truth of
their genetic identity. But now you're realizing that it isn't
possible to keep that secret anymore, at least not for certain.
So now what do you do. There are men who

(01:56):
have just discovered kids they didn't know they had, women
who put up a child for adoption when they were
teenagers and never told a soul. Adult adoptees finding their
birth mothers, sometimes with just a few key strokes. So
many family secrets each year, the number just increases. A

(02:17):
lot of that is due to DNA testing and how
popular it's become. A lot of it is due to
the Internet and how connected we all are. Lies and
secrets become harder and harder to keep. The Me Too
movement has eradicated another kind of secret, a cultural shift
towards connection, community gathering, truth telling, the beginning of an

(02:42):
understanding that the shame that thrumbs like a drumbeat under
all these secrets is just a story. We're telling ourselves,
here's what I'm seeing. Sometimes it's hard to tell the truth,
and sometimes it's hard to hear it, but it is
always better for us. It may not feel that way,

(03:04):
not at first, not always, but in all of my
conversations for Family Secrets, at the end, I asked my
guests if they wished they hadn't discovered what they had,
and not one of them has said yes, that they
wished they had remained in the dark. Because when we
know what's been hidden in the shadows, it's like the

(03:25):
lights blink on. We understand more about ourselves and where
we come from, what built us, what makes us who
we are. There's tremendous liberation in that. There's freedom, there's beauty,
there's grace, which is why I keep having these conversations
and why I love connecting with all of you. Next week,

(03:49):
we'll be back with more of your Family Secrets, and
remember that on February six, our third season will drop.
I can't wait to share these extraordinary guests and their journey.
He's with you. For more podcasts for my Heart Radio,

(04:14):
visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.