Broken

Melissa was 15 years old when she found out her father was a serial killer, and the news couldn’t have arrived at a worse time: she just found out she was pregnant. Melissa confronts her high school boyfriend to get a better grasp on the time.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Previously on happy Face. Keith fell in high school. I
believe it was when they interview killers. They have found
in a large percentage of them damaged their frontal before
they were twenty two, changes their whole personality. Keith's father
last was a very resourceful, ingenious man, but he could

(00:22):
be a monster. He was horrible. I hated him less
told him, this is the way what you're going to
say in court for the mobile part or absolutely did.
He dragged me to a nursing home to visit one
of his hunting buddies. He said, my friends, Smitty's not
doing too good with his lung cancer. Keith talked to him, son,
nobody likes to die alone. I never feared a dead

(00:43):
person after that. One of the few people that Keith
opened up to about his childhood was psychologist al Carlyle,
age of eight. It was a lot of anger. If
you're doing me wrong, I was. I was gonna, I
was bounding, determined to get any learning pro home. No,
not a life for you. Intelligence. I'm very intelligent, but
I just didn't adapt myself to it. I received a

(01:05):
letter a week before he got arrested. It said, Rose,
what I did is bigger than all J Simpson that
I will probably be in hell forever in the bo
Keith and the fight with the Sun. I don't know, Shine,
I s oh, nice room. The subconscious mind often knows

(01:40):
the truth long before we do. I'm Lauren Bright Pacheco,
and this is happy face. I was driving in a
car down the road. And this is after your dad
and I were separated, actually not officially divorced, but we
were separated. And they had on the news that they

(02:04):
were searching for the Green River Killer. And I go, hmm,
I wonder if that's key. Why did I say that?
But I think you internally know things that you don't state,
you don't acknowledge, so intuitively, I just said it out loud, like, O,

(02:24):
I wonder if that's key, And then I yes, like, oh,
why did I think that? I don't know? Because I
think I think by time we were separated, I had
so many more pieces of the puzzle, and I was
starting to connect things, because before it was I got
a piece here and a piece here. I think I

(02:47):
got enough pieces that I was was beginning to connect it.
Melissa also remembers having thoughts she couldn't explain. There was
a time where I actually had a vision of my
father behind bars, and there's nobody I could tell to

(03:09):
because nobody would believe me. It was when I was
in seventh grade. I was walking to school and I
had a mental image pop up in my mind of
my father being behind the glass and having a telephone,
and my stomach sunk, and I felt sorrow and sadness.

(03:33):
I just remember thinking that was a very intense emotion
attached to the vision. We've gone too far from I
the Making of a Serial Killer by Jack Olsen. Dawn
was coming and pretty soon the traffic could be too

(03:53):
heavy for me to unload her on the shoulder. I
thought back to when I first met her and loved
her and wanted her for all time. I needed to
do one more killing and then end this murder machine
for good. I put my fist against her throat for
the last time, just before she passed out. I told

(04:14):
her your number eight, and yes, I will get away
with it. She didn't breathe again. It's especially hard for
Melissa to process some of her seemingly happy memories now.
Even something is harmless is watching television together growing up

(04:38):
with my dad, something that we used to do together
as we used to watch true crime shows, even when
I was like a young girl. I would remember him
sitting on the brown velvet couch and I would crawl
up on his lap, and then because he was so tall,
I would actually crawl up on the back of the
couch and sit on his shoulders and we would watch
like Unsolved Mysteries. I remember that was seemed to be

(05:00):
our favorite show, and I would always be terrified at
the end of the program as a young girl, thinking,
oh my gosh, there's there's a million ways I could
be abductive. It's like just terrified, absolutely terrified as you're
sitting on the yeah, as I'm sitting on the shoulders
of my father, thinking I hope something like that never

(05:21):
happens to me. I hope that I know how to
keep myself safe. And I think that's partially why I
watched these programs, as I was looking for ways of
like what did the victim do that could have saved
her life? I was analyzing this, and ironically, I think
my father was analyzing how to get away with murder

(05:44):
and what tools did the detectives have. It is eerie
to me to see the time my timeline of events
and my father's timeline of his murders, because there's moments
where we were together there and then knowing he had
just committed a murder and it now was taking me

(06:07):
to McDonald's like it was nothing. How was he able
to do that? Soon after my parents divorce, my dad
would spend summer vacations with us, and during his visitations
he would say things that we're we're alarming, we're odd

(06:34):
and bizarre and explicit like what um? And was it
targeted towards you? Yeah? I was. He would target it
towards me. I didn't see my brother and my sister
getting the same treatment. Maybe because I'm the oldest, I
was his confidante. It was just peppered throughout our conversations
these things he would say that would we're startling. He

(06:57):
would say, I know how to commit the most perfect murder.
And how old were you? I was a young woman.
I was in my early teens, and I remember thinking
this is this is odd. But it was one of
the first times I heard him say something like that.
He would say, I would cut the buttons off of
virgins so that my fingerprints wouldn't be on them. I

(07:18):
would then wear my cycling shoes so that I wouldn't
leave a soul print and the dirt, and then I
would make sure her belongings were other places. From I
the Creation of a Serial Killer by Jack Olsen, I
drove to a spot on the downhill side of Highway

(07:40):
fourteen on the Washington State side of the Columbia Gorge,
across the river from where I threw Tanya Bennett's body
in Oregon. I carried her over past a guardrail and
some garbage sacks, and pitched her down a fifteen foot embankment.
I stared at her crumpled body and the weeds and thought,
how she had only lasted five days with me. What

(08:01):
a waste. The year Keith Jessperson was arrested was already
an incredibly traumatic one for Melissa for a variety of reasons.
To get further insight into what she was going through,

(08:23):
we traveled to meet with her high school boyfriend Nick.
We're close to Schadel, so this is where I went
to high school in When I heard the news about
my dad, I was going to the school and I
was dating a guy named Nick. He was actually my
first boyfriend. He um when I started my freshman year

(08:46):
here he was in my English class, and he was
just actually kind of similar to my dad in the
sense that he was a jokester. He was funny, everybody laughed,
he was charismatic. He just seemed of an edge, and
like I thought that he was a misunderstood person. I
was out to prove that people didn't get him right.

(09:07):
And my friends on every bay said that he's bad news.
But his reputation. He had been arrested, I had heard
rumors about drug deals. He had a pager, had money
all the time, cash all the time. He had a
money clip with lots of dred dollar bills. I found
that appealing. He asked me to dance that fall, and

(09:28):
before I knew it, he just became a part of
my life, you know. And I got pregnant. I got
pregnant my freshman year. Something was off with my body
and I could just tell something was up, and so
I got a pregnancy test and I went into the
bathroom stall here at Schadel right here it was after classes,

(09:51):
and the pregnancy test turned positive and I was alone
and thinking, holy shit, like what do I do? How
did he react to finding out your pregner not well?
Not well at all. He didn't handle it well. I mean,

(10:12):
like he's a teenage boy too, so like I'll give
him Matt. But I didn't handle it well either. Um.
I was in panic mode at that point. Once I
found I was pregnant, I was terrified. I had no
idea what to do. I couldn't tell my mom. I
felt like if I told my mom, she would think
I was a whore. And so right after I found

(10:32):
out that was pregnant is when the news hit about
my dad. With her mother and siblings living in poverty,
Melissa found herself once again, back in her grandmother's basement,
young and scared and having to face a really difficult choice.

(10:54):
You only have believe it's twelve weeks, and I every
week that would pass, it was just like getting closer
to that deadline and and the pressure is building. But
also at the same time, while I was going through that,
I was learning about my dad and his crimes and
now we're living in the basement of my grandmother's house.

(11:15):
That's where Nick actually became a really critical part in
my life because he had a car. He would actually
come to the north side of town and come pick
me up and take me to school. He made it
so much more convenient to get to school, and I
was in my relationship with him. It was a very
dysfunctional relationship. It was extreme highs and lows. And when

(11:41):
things were good, they were good. When things were bad
they were extremely bad. Physical and um, he was very
possessive of me. He would hold my when we walk
around high school, he would hold my belt loop and
just like he always had his hands on me. It
was always claiming me with his space and um. We

(12:04):
were constantly together. I've never had a break. It was
a very code of patented abusive relationship. I would say
from I the Creation of a Serial Killer by Jack Olsen.
I went back to my truck and rehearsed the lies

(12:25):
I planned to tell when I was arrested. I took
myself back to when I killed Tanya and tried to
figure out what made me cross the line into murder.
Was it the things I read about in the detective magazines,
arson animal abuse? Did I kill to make up for
a wasted life? For my own funk ups? Was it
dad's fault, my brother's, my mother's. It was too easy

(12:48):
to blame the rest of the family. Maybe I was
just a no good son of a bitch that got
off on killing women. Maybe it was my nature. I
was living a nightmare and it became my only option
in my mind. When I came home one day, I
saw my sleeping bag on the cot and thought, a

(13:09):
crib does not fit here next to a cot. I
just couldn't see it, and that's when the choice was
made for me. I don't see how a baby bed
could be right there, and I couldn't bear the thought
of being financially dependent on Nick or welfare like my
mom was. So I felt like the only option for

(13:30):
me to break out of this poverty was to not
not have the baby. If anybody says some people will
think O Jay Simson, some people will think you know
Menanda's brothers, or something like that. I think of the
time I was in that dark bathroom stall, seeing I

(13:50):
was pregnant and the news hitting of my dad and
losing everything in my life. I really thought everything was
against me. As Melissa began to put the pieces of

(14:15):
her past back together after more than twenty years, she
decided to visit Nick, maybe to confront him, maybe for closure,
it was hard to tell, Maybe just to remember how
far away from the house. We're just about a minute
a while. Okay, I just haven't seen him for at

(14:37):
least twenty years. I'm so nervous. Your destination is on
the left, right now, right there. Well, it's a cute house.
Oh there he is on the porch. Oh my god,
he sees us. Okay, he's dressed nice too. Okay, Hey, Nick,

(15:04):
how are you a long time? No? See, I'm going
to say. It's good to see it, so thanks for agreeing.
Come on, it is this your place? Yeah? Melissa didn't
think that Nick would sit down and meet with her,

(15:27):
and when I called him and reached out, he immediately
responded with such positivity. The first thing you thought of
when you walked through the door was it was so
bright and cheerful and didn't look like a bachelor pad
at all. The house was spotless, almost as if it

(15:50):
were staged for a real estate photo. I got lots
of spare room because I'm hoping to get my kids
coming soon. Kids. I'm working on it, working on getting here.
There was something very tidy and cheerful about the house,
and something very sad too, because you could feel the
absence of his kids. It's like he had built this

(16:14):
house for his children to enjoy, and they weren't there. No,
they're with their mom right now. And us a long story.
I was married for seven years, have four kids, and
all I want is my my weekends. And I just

(16:34):
want the kids to know that I've been trying and
then I never stopped and I've never given up. And
whatever their mom says to them, they're going to know
something else someday too. And that's about all I want
to say about it right now, because it's oh, it's okay.
In life, life happens. Yeah, And then I got one
more spot. At the end of the tour. We settled

(16:55):
down at this impeccably clean dining room table to talk
about out his past with Morissa. Remember, I remember was
a little boried me too on some of that, because
what do you remember from maybe just maybe you could
just tell me what you remember about time frame And
then well, I remember one day you're just coming out

(17:17):
and telling me that there was something about your dad
you wanted to tell me, and you weren't sure if
if the information was true or what to believe, and
you told me what you knew. It was shocking to me,
but I didn't know what to say or what to
do to help you. So it was one murder. It
was Julie Winningham. I didn't even know her name yet.

(17:38):
And we went to the library. We did several times,
and we would look up the articles, and I remember
you had said you weren't sure what to believe and
it was shocking, and you also had heard it after
he was arrested. He had wrote a letter to his
family that had stuff in it that you didn't get

(18:00):
to know what was in it, but you heard that
he had made a lot of statements that would have
would be admissions. And I didn't know what to think either. Yeah,
we were just young. I was fifteen. How old were
you fifteen as well? I remember just being stunned. I'm
not sure what to believe, I trust to do, and

(18:24):
I didn't feel judgment from you about it at all. Well.
I remember one paper in particular, there was a statement
from the son of Julie Winningham, the victim, that was
towards the end, towards the trial, and that was pretty
devastating where he he talked about obviously he's torn up
and devastated, rightfully so, and wanted my dad to be

(18:46):
killed like he wanted him dead. And remember thinking like,
this is really hard at the time, you know, it's
a transition, like I still loved my dad and was
trying to figure out how to reconcile my mind these crimes.
And then also I wanted to not believe it, and
then reading that was hard. So that's what I remember,
just as you said it. And it was hard to

(19:08):
help you in any way other than just kind of
be your friend, to listen and be there if I could.
You didn't want to believe it. I remember that out
of all of the talking that we did, most of
it you didn't want it to be true. Do you
remember meeting him? Yes? Once, he was a real nice guy.
Um just calling and there was nothing, nothing abnormal at

(19:32):
all about him And I didn't realize because you were
my boyfriend at the time, or was he just like
nobody pulled me into the kitchen and asked me, you
know how I felt about you, And yeah, I remember that.
I told him that I cared about you a lot
and you were really cool, and uh, I just told
him that it was nice to meet him, and I

(19:52):
thanked him and I tried to keep it cool. Yeah,
because you know it was nervous. You know, I've never
met him before. But he didn't didn't imidate me at all.
He didn't scare me in anyway. I didn't feel any
I would have. From The Oregonian March by John Painter Jr.

(20:23):
A long haul trucker told a Clark County Sheriff's Office
detective by phone that he strangled Julianne Winningham forty one
while raping her in the sleeper cap of his rig
after gagging her with duct tape. During the autopsy, smoke
like stains were found on parts of her body, suggesting
the corpse had been hauled around before being dumped. Keith H. Jesperson,

(20:47):
forty made his admission Friday to Detective Rick Buckner in
a telephone conversation. In an earlier phone message to Buckner
on Thursday, Jesperson, who is six ft six inches tall
and waste two and fifty pounds, that he'd quote tried
to kill himself a couple of times and it hasn't worked.
Not enough pills in the damn country. While Melissa has

(21:22):
very strong recollections about what transpired between her and neck,
nixt memories are much more fond and kinder. What becomes
clear is that they went through a very difficult situation
as two young teenagers and it's still hard as adults.
Something that I haven't really talked about a lot, though,
is that we got pregnant. Do you remember that? And

(21:45):
I haven't talked to anybody about that. I tried not
to think about it then, and it came back years later.
I I had a lot of emotions that came from it,
and it was when I had children later that's when

(22:06):
things came back. And uh, that's when I started thinking
about it again because I would get too much emotions
to think about it. So I didn't m H and
I probably should have now looking back on it, I
wish I would have m deal with it better and

(22:30):
maybe talk to you more about our options. And I
don't know it. I have no blame, Like we're young kids.
Is there a physical side of your relationship? There was
a couple of incidents to remember, what do you mean
it was? We were we had kind of a violent

(22:52):
relationship a little bit. There are some aspects that are
We're not healthy, probably arguing more than we should about
certain things, not knowing how to talk about it. Yeah,
I remember we had some some heated discussions about what

(23:14):
we know, what we wanted to do, um, and how
we we were gonna move forward. I do remember that. Yeah.
Do you think this was out of fear? Yeah? Probably.
You could tell that there was a pain hesitation when

(23:35):
Nick spoke about his own emotions regarding Melissa's pregnancy, and
it seemed like it was something that deeply bothered him
even now. Did you follow her father's case at all
over the years, do you remember? No? I didn't, only
only because I was dealing with my own emotions about

(23:57):
stuff with with her and I then at that time
I hadn't processed all the way yet. Anyways, the last
time I really thought about you, that mostly, was when
I was first married and had had my first kid,
and I was talking to my wife about you. Yeah,
I know, I gotta, I gotta. I won't forget those
those times. Um, it's gonna be with me forever. Of

(24:21):
course it was. It was an impact on my life too,
And like I told you, I cared about you. So
you were one that one that got away for me
from I. The Making of a Serial Killer by Jack Olson,
My fourteen year old son Jason, and my fifteen year

(24:43):
old daughter Melissa visited me through glass, and it only
made things worse. The phone connection was bad, and the
guards rushed me away before we really started talking. I
cried as they led me off. I felt sorry that
my kids had to see me this way. I couldn't
even tell them I loved them. I had a feeling

(25:04):
I wouldn't see them again. After we left, we spoke
a bit about what it was like for Melissa to
see Nick again and what she took away from meeting
with him. M hmm. I could tell you didn't want
to talk about that. You know. You always tell me hurt,

(25:27):
people hurt, and and I'm starting to see maybe where
his hurt came from. Yeah, you know, I want I
want the best for everybody. I want people to be

(25:48):
I want to think that people could be reformed. I
want to think that good things can happen people, and
that there is redemption, there are changes, there are like
you know, I want to believe in that, and if
it's possible, then I hope he gets that. From the

(26:20):
Salt Lake City Tribune August. When Julie smiled, it was
like sunshine came out of her mouth. She just loved
everybody and everything. Her sister Jonnie says in an interview,
trucking was her way of life and she wanted to
die on the road, but not like this, not to

(26:41):
be killed by some monster. With all the evidence against me,
it looks like I'm truly a black sheep. His March
letter reads, I'm sure they will kill me for this.
I'm sorry that I turned out this way, he scrawled,
I've been a killer for five years and have killed
eight people, assaulted more. I guess I haven't learned anything

(27:06):
I can't see. Spokeably afraid to be when I found
out I was pregnant and all that was happening, and
I decided I was going to have an abortion. I

(27:27):
told myself that it's going to be a second chance
in life. I'm gonna turn my life around, and everything's
gonna be very intentional. I'm gonna come up with a plan.
And I promised myself I was going to graduate high school,
which I was the first to my family to graduate,
and I was going to go to college, and I
was going to get an education so that I never
have to live like this ever again, and never be

(27:49):
dependent upon a man ever again. And I told myself
I was going to start over with my life. Your
your job's in prison at the time, Yeah, he's up
is in. Because I didn't have anybody talked to and
I didn't want to tell my mom, I wrote him
a letter and I said, um, I vented out like
all of my anger about what he did to our

(28:11):
family and to the victims families and how much he's
hurt everybody, and that like I bought my sorrow, explained
how alone I felt to my sorrow. I remember the
letter being tear soaked. I sobbed and released everything that
happened to me. I told him I was an abusive relationship,

(28:33):
that I got pregnant, that I made the difficult choice
during the time of his incarceration to have an abortion.
The biggest fear is that I can be like my father.
I look like my father every night in the woods.

(28:54):
I wonder about DNA. So it's aloneesome fight. I know
I'm not capable of murder. I know that it could
never cross that line. And he screams money, and so
I was surprised. A couple of months later, I got
a letter from my dad back in response and the

(29:16):
sound us and when I opened up the letter first
he ums through three. He mocks me for feeling sorry
for myself. That's the first part of the letter. It's
just like I'm having a pity party. And then the

(29:37):
second part of the letter, he said, I deserve to
be in prison with me. You're a killer just like me.
Happy Faces. The production of How Stuff Works. Executive producers

(29:59):
or Melissa Moore, Lauren Bright, Pacheco, Mangesha Ticketer, and Will Pearson.
Supervising producer is Noel Brown. Music by Claire Campbell, Page
Campbell and Hope for a Golden Summer. Story editor is
Matt Riddle. Audio editing by Chandler Mays and Noel Brown.
Assistant editor is Taylor Chickoin.