September 1, 2020 • 32 mins
After many attempts to speak with Diane's family members, Diane's brother, James, finally agrees to sit down with Becky.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I've heard a lot of different theories about my biological father.
I have heard that he was a reporter. I heard
that he was somebody that worked with her at the
post office. I heard that it was another inmates husband.
I've heard that it was just some guy off the street.
She knew she was going to get pregnant, and she
wanted to get pregnant and just picked up the first
guy she saw, So you know, I don't know. In
(00:23):
Diane Downs shot her three children, killing her daughter Cheryl,
and forever altering the lives of not only her two
surviving children, but the other people in her life. Before
her imprisonment, she purposely set out to give birth to
another child, who would incidentally become another life permanently changed
by Diane's actions. There's a tired old idiom that people
(00:45):
often use when confronting the things they've buried and hidden.
The truth will set you free. The fact is, sometimes
the truth is its own prison, like when the truth
of who your father is becomes a dark shadow that
follows you and suffocates you until you finally are forced
to confront it. When eleven year old Becky found out
her biological mother was Diane Downs, it disrupted her identity
(01:07):
and changed the course of her behavior and her life.
Now she's seeking the other half of that puzzle, the
identity of her biological father, someone who may or may
not even know she exists. Will that truth help bring
balance to the way of her own truth, or will
only further add to the chaos of her self image.
(01:36):
Without knowing for sure the identity of Becky's father, one
has to wonder if he himself is even aware that
Becky is his acrosses my mind sometimes, I mean, maybe
he just doesn't want to believe that I could be
that child, or that he could be that father, because
I've been public now for ten years with my story,
and if my biological father wanted to find me, he
(01:59):
would have the only things I can come up with.
Or he doesn't know he's my biological father, he doesn't
want to be my biological father, or is deceased. I mean,
if you are intimate with somebody in nine months later
there's a baby, I would question that. There was very
little physical description of the father given, and what's there
didn't help narrow down the possibilities. My adopted mom she
(02:22):
told me that on my adoption paperwork that he was
listed as being like six two, blonde hair, blue eyes.
That's all I know. I think that he's German or Danish,
and that's it. I don't know anything else. There's a
certain piece to Becky's current situation. She's lived her entire
(02:44):
life up to this point not knowing the identity of
a biological father, and as far as she knows, he
could be anyone, someone good, someone interesting, someone loving, someone
ready to embrace his long lost daughter with open arms.
He could fit any temple it Becky wants or needs
him to. I can decide who he is, and I can.
(03:05):
You know, I think that he's an amazing person, and
and even if he's not, as long as he's a
decent human being, I'd be happy. But I'm scared to
go on this journey because what if he is, you know, deceased.
What if he doesn't want me in his life. It's very,
very scary to open this store. But I am very
lucky to have the parents that I do have. It's
(03:27):
not just Becky's biological father who isn't a part of
her life, but her to have siblings, Christie and Danny,
survivors of Diane's attack, also live their own private lives,
independent of any real relationship with Becky. I did reach
out to them back in two thousand and six. I
found Christie online. We had a little bit of a
conversation going. We spoke every couple of days. She told
(03:49):
me a little bit about herself. I told her about myself,
and one day I got a message that burned Danny
don't want anything to do with me, that so much
time had passed that they don't want to get to
know me more rejection. Christie and Danny knew about Becky,
that they were related, that they shared the similar link,
and still wanted nothing to do with her. And it's
(04:09):
understandable what they went through I could never even imagine,
and maybe being in my life for meeting me would
bring up some of that for them. I'm not sure.
Becky also reached out to Diane's father. I've spoken with
Diane Down's father, Wes. He was a sweet man. He
wanted to tell me a lot of the family history,
(04:30):
but he also wanted to tell me about Diane and
about her case and how she's innocent. Becky didn't set
out with the intention of speaking to Diane's father about
the crime, but to some extent, it was unavoidable. I
asked both Diane and her father when we first spoke
all those years ago, that I didn't want to hear
about her guilt or her innocence. I just want to
(04:52):
hear about her. I just want to know about the family.
I just want to know about my biological father. I
wanted to leave the case out of it because I
knew all they were going to do is try and
convince me that she's innocent. I just wanted to know
them that side of my family. Is there a part
of you that questions whether she's innocent? Diane's innocence has
been a question for a lot of people for a
(05:13):
long time. I don't believe she's innocent, no, but I
know that people do. There are some people, like Diane herself,
who championed her innocence to this day. Her brother, James Frederickson,
is one of them. James was one of the only
(05:34):
family members willing to talk to Becky and me about
Diane and their family history. He believes that part of
understanding who Diane was is understanding her relationship with her
ex husband, Steve, who she blames for much of what
she became. She sent James a letter detailing her marriage
and relationships leading up to the shooting, which is oddly
(05:55):
written mostly in third person. James shares a bit of
that here. Thanks. Just Steve came into our lives in
nineteen seventy one. We had moved Chandler to farm and
Steve was a farm hand from the neighbors. My mom
and dad wanted my sister to data of the boys,
but you know, she was head over heels for Steve,
and obviously Steve's head over heels for her. Judge married
(06:17):
them on November nineteen seventy three, with only Greg Roach
and the judges secretary as witnesses, because Diane had no
friends of her own at that time. She said that
she got married and whatever the date was right, But
the reality is that, you know, she got married because
my dad went over to their house where they were
out of the apartment, and said, you will marry my daughter.
(06:40):
We were Baptist house, you know what I mean. It's
like you didn't want things to to be bad or
look bad, and so you know you will marry my daughter.
Well it happened fast because my dad was there, you know,
and it's like I'm gonna use the term it was
a shotgun wedding, you know what I mean. Steve didn't
want problems with my dad. My dad was really he
didn't physically scarcy that he intimidated him. There is a
(07:02):
theory in domestic violence cases known as the cycle of abuse,
which often begins with rising tension and the need to
play kate the abuser. According to Diane, Steve began this
cycle early into his and Diane's relationship. Steve controlled everyone
she talked to, and he didn't let her talk to
anyone she was working. Then when they married, she was
(07:22):
talking to other guys at lunchtime, and so he made
her quit. He didn't permit a phone in her apartment.
The grocery store was a three minute walk from where
they lived at one hundred West Ray Road, but she
wasn't even permitted to go shopping without him. My sister
was barely eighteen and in her own mind going on twelve,
and had never given her new husband. Caused suspect urban fidelity,
(07:46):
but he was just sick with suspicion and jealousy. Soon
after they married, Steve was openly unfaithful to Diane. Two
weeks after their marriage, Steve came home from work at
the Entire Company where he worked in Mesa and announced
was going out with Janet the receptionists. Diane was a
bit confused by that they were married after all. Steve
(08:07):
blew up and he said, hey, I promised Janet they'd
go out. The marriage vows came so quickly he forgot
to call off their date. He said Diane just needed
to iron his shirt and not make things harder for him.
One month later, Steve went out with his buddies for
New Year. Diane was told to wait at home until
she got tired of waiting, and she walked to his
(08:28):
friend's house. She did what she was told, but Steve
wasn't there. Then they told Diane she'd have to wait
in the line behind Debbie, so Steve was at the
party with other women. Diane was pregnant with Christie, her
oldest daughter, and allegedly Steve saw this as an inconvenience
and didn't want to deal with her. Two months later,
Diane got pregnant. She had morning sickness like most women do,
(08:53):
but instead of Steves hanging around and supporting her, Steve
took her to his parents home and Gilbert because he
wasn't ready to live with a sick wife. While Diane
was at his parents house, Steve moved in with Jackie.
When Jackie's husband, Dale returned from California, Steve ortru Dale
from exile. These are just a little parts about the infidelity,
So then we start talking about the abuse man. According
(09:22):
to Diane, Steve wasn't only controlling and unfaithful, but his
abuse crossed the threshold into physical. In the meantime, Diane
had a second child, Danny, and another daughter, Cherylo. Diane
was talking on the phone. Steve came home. I heard
talking on the phone. He thought she was talking to
a man on the phone, so he picked up the
phone and slammed it down. They argued, and he slapped
(09:45):
and punched her, and the phone rang, and Diane obviously
answered it, and it was actually Holly on the phone
saying that Karen was afraid Steve was hitting her. Diane
looked at Steve and said to Holly, yes he is.
He's still here. So he grabbed the phone and he
hit Diane with it. She rests the phone from Hue,
hung it up and engaged him. Diana and Steve were
(10:06):
divorced at this point, but he still lived with her
and the kids. Eventually, the abuse reached a breaking point
and she started to fight back. A judge issued a
restraining order, but Steve didn't stay away. In the meantime,
Diane had bought a gun in an effort to protect herself,
and then one day Steve had her cornered in a
bathroom when he was kicking the door open. She fired
(10:28):
a warning shot into the floor. The next week, he
moved his furniture out of her home as the stealthies
he moved in. That was September four. In October of
that year, Diane's four month old mobile home burned down,
and she sent her kids to live with Steve so
they wouldn't be homeless. She eventually found another place to live,
(10:48):
but Steve would not allow her to have the children back.
During this time, Diane saw affection from other men. Yeah
she was seeing Nick that time. Nick is Robert Knickerbocker,
a married man who supposedly didn't like children, the fact
that some belief may have later played into Diane's motivation
for the shooting. Married men showed her the most affection
(11:10):
because married men were safe to her, Because married men
didn't want to leave their wives. They just wanted some affection,
and really that's all Diane ever really wanted. She was
still that twelve year old little girl striving for that affection,
and she went out and she got that affection from
married men. Diane's attention from other men is what led
(11:45):
to her earlier divorce from Steve. Despite his own unfaithfulness,
he believed she'd actually become pregnant with Danny due to
an affair. He ended their marriage believing the pregnancy shouldn't
have been possible due to vasectomy. Diane, it seemed, enjoyed
being pregnant. She had a fourth child before Becky, but
this time as a surrogate. So yeah, it was just
(12:06):
basically she went through the surgacy program, delivered to baby,
gave it to a family. She got ten thousand dollars
for that, and that helped her in her life right.
When Diane became pregnant with Becky, James dismissed it as
if it were almost like another surrogacy. And I wasn't
going to have another niece and nephew. I was basically
having another surrogate child. I wasn't attached to it. I
(12:30):
wasn't bonded with it. I wasn't any of that. After
Diane's trial and Becky's birth, James didn't give the baby
much thought. Yeah, they took her away and I knew
that she existed, but I didn't know anything about her.
And that was that out of sight, out of mind.
And then one day Becky appeared on James. First impression
(12:54):
was not a great one. What did you think when
you first saw her on a news program? Honest and
her I didn't understand why she was making a fuss
out of something if she had two perfectly wonderful, loving parents.
I don't remember what exactly said. She basically said that
she's going to make sure that Diane doesn't gain parole.
I didn't like her at all. James had made an
(13:18):
earlier attempt to contact Becky and tried to convert her
to his version of the truth. I resaw to her
on social media and we talked, and I tried talking
to her about what I know is truth, and the
story that she knows is the public story, the Ann
Rules story. She really wasn't willing to listen. Did that
(13:40):
frustrate you? It's always frustrating every single time watching James
grew increasingly frustrated with Anne, rule author of the book
Becky first discovered in the bookstore as an eleven year old.
He believed that she had many things about Diane's story
and the crime wrong, and that Becky's view of her
biological mother's guilt had been colored by that book. He
(14:01):
also doesn't believe that Anne knew the identity of Becky's father,
despite her claims. So people that are adopted, some of
them have a desire to find out who they come from,
whether it's been Diane the murder or Diane the victim.
She still knows that she comes from Diane, and she
doesn't know who her father is um and unfortunately there's
(14:26):
only two people that do. The author didn't know who
the father was because she wasn't there during conception and
has never been told by my sister, who the person asked.
The only people that know are the mother and the
father of Becky. There was some guy in her round,
you know what I mean. It wasn't even a co work.
(14:46):
It was just some guy in her route, you know,
I mean, I I don't. I don't have any idea
who it is. He knows or maybe he doesn't. I
would imagine. So I don't know. Yeah, Diane's never told him,
So maybe he doesn't, you know, because I mean it's like,
you know, she had a reputation of sleeping around you
(15:08):
know what I mean, she didn't, but that was her reputation.
So I mean, as a guy, if you are just
you know, sleeping with somebody just once or twice, and
you know, it's like you're not really concerned whether that
person gets pregnant or not until they come knock on
your door. And so no, he may not know. He
may not know. Despite the fact that James and Becky
(15:33):
didn't see eye to eye and his earlier attempts to
contact her, he wants another chance to explain, which may
be his primary reason for his willingness to meet with
her again ten years ago on the social media and
then VFO and then she didn't really want anything to
do with the truth, as we've stayed earlier. You know,
it's like talking about some of the letters that Diane
(15:54):
wrote her after being in solitary. You need to believe
that she's psycho. You need to believe that she's a
deviant sociopath or whatever those words are that they're throwing
out there, but she wasn't willing to listen. As my
whole point, I talked to her, then she did not listen,
and I'm hoping today she listens. And I'm always willing
(16:15):
to talk to anybody who's willing to listen, because the
truth needs to be out there. While I spoke to James,
Becky was waiting in the studio to speak with him
before bringing her in, I spoke to her alone for
a few minutes to gauge her feelings on the situation
and brief her on what to expect. I've been talking
to James here, asking him about his feelings today about
(16:37):
meeting you, finding out his intentions when we first got
in the studio. Is quite overwhelmed because there's so much
he wanted to share. And then, um, what I found
interesting though, is that he really really cared about today
and wanted to come today with something sort of as
(16:59):
an offering of information that he could provide. First of all,
he has a letter from Diane and it's written to
Amy to you, and it's going to talk about her
time being pregnant with you. Yeah. One thing that I
am concerned about is Diane still denies that I'm her
(17:22):
biological daughter um, and so this letter is written to Amy,
who will I guess I don't identify with because she
doesn't claim to be my biological mother, so there's been
like a disconnect there. I'm not sure how to respond
when James reads that letter, because my initial like knee
jerk reaction would be uncomfortable and upset. The truth is
(17:46):
is that, regardless of the name Amy or Rebecca, you
were that baby. It doesn't feel like that, you know.
It feels like almost a separate person completely, especially because
she doesn't believe that it's me. She may not believe
it's you, but your physical being had that experience as
(18:10):
a newborn, as a child, as a baby girl coming
into this world, and regardless of name, it was your experience.
I wrote her back in two thousand and six when
I put my son up for adoption, wanting to connect
with her. It feels like this letter that you guys
have been talking about is almost going to be that
(18:31):
connection that I needed back then, and after we had
such a meltdown with her in the last letter where
she was very cruel, I don't want that connection with her,
So I'm nervous about hearing this letter and I don't
know how I'll feel if I'm being completely transparent and honest,
I'm almost scared that I want to have that connection,
(18:55):
Like there's that conflict of being the adopted child that
you want that connection with your biological parents. But it's
it's a battle in my heart in my head because
I don't want to be connected to her. M alright,
(19:21):
So how are we gonna do this? Because he's gonna
want to say hi? Then when when he walks through
the door, it's fine where she's bringing it right now?
The recording. Yeah, I'm ready, James. This is Becky h
(19:43):
come to see you. Yeah, how's your chick? That was good? Yeah,
that's good. Yeah, how are you getting through it? It's
a little different, like we were mentioning, is the first
time I've actually mets anybody from the bi family, so
it's it's different. So this is all different. After some
(20:06):
setup and light chit chat to get right into it,
James immediately begins to read the letter he received from Diane.
Says I was four and a half months pregnant when
I was arrested. Amy and I were locked in a
jail cell alone for nearly four months before she was born.
She gave me the strength to keep calm during the trial.
Every day I tell her that she was going to
(20:27):
be okay. I pat her bottom and rubb her back
and camber. I didn't let myself get consumed with worry
for her sake. Then, when we returned to our jail
cell after my first day on the witness stand, there
was a court order waiting in our concrete slab bed
the state, it seems, custody of Amy even before she
(20:48):
was born. The trial wasn't even over yet, and the
state was taking her. I was physically ill, but couldn't
dwell on it because I didn't want Amy to feel
my pain. It was a different story after she was gone.
I cried and cried. It felt like I lost a
friend as much as a child. That's a loss from
which I'll never recovered. That's what my sister said about you. Wow,
(21:13):
so and realized that she felt that way. There's been
pictures painted of my sister's being callous person, not a
good mother. That's the way she felt about all of
her kids. That's not the way she felt about the
surrogate child. You're not a surrogate child. I struggle with
her connection with me because of the fact that she
(21:37):
got pregnant with me on purpose, because she knew she could,
and she wanted to replace Cheryl, and she knew that
she would get sympathy from the courts. And and those
are a rules words, those are writers words. Those aren't true. Okay,
isn't it. I saw something about it. I've never read
an rules book. There was one of her recordings or
(21:59):
something that I thought. I don't know. Anyways, I never
knew she felt that way. James shifts almost immediately into
defensive mode with regards to Diane. There's a bit of
tension between James and Becky, and James is eager to
push through his agenda for meeting. So when did she
write that? About two weeks ago? Well, I asked her
(22:19):
to share something with me because she doesn't want. I said,
the world's needs to understand what you felt like when
you were having the baby. Teeth going. She says she
can't really talk about when the baby was taken away
because it's just crying. You know, she cried and cried.
What else is there to say? She was induced, She
didn't have it natural, And they told the court before
(22:41):
she was convicted that they're going to take the baby away.
They told the Jerves that already finding her guilty before
the Jersey was started deliberating. It is really interesting, it's
very interesting, and and she did. I don't think the
word place it's a good word to say, because you
(23:03):
can never replace you with another baby. She can't replace
Cheryl with another baby. She can't replace Christie with another baby.
You're her daughter, and you were very much loved. The
state did not want you to be raised by her
or see the family, So you've forgiven to another family.
(23:25):
So I feel a sort of a disconnect. I reached
out to Diane Um. I think it was in two
thousand and six, and her first couple of letters were,
you know, oh my gosh, I've always known where you were,
and you'd write me someday. They were excited and happy.
But now to this day, you know, she denies that
I'm her biological child. Um between two right, Yeah, crazy letters,
(23:49):
we might say, right, they're they're pretty intense, yeah, and threatening,
and you know, saying that there's been somebody watching me
my whole life and trying to kill me, and and
and scary stuff. When they're where she did that, did
you feel like you are watching a movie and that
she was threatening you from in the jail, or did
you feel like she was being sincere? She was truly
(24:10):
worried for you, because again, she didn't commit this crime, right.
Whoever did this to her is still out there and
if you are her child, in her opinion, then you're
in danger. Things with James start to grow a bit tense.
There's not a single person, but I know that is
backing me in doing this, because the media has been
(24:33):
very violent, very vile, and the media is one of
the reasons why I I don't want to use the report.
Fearful to meet too, but um, I wasn't looking forward
to meeting you. They go back and forth about the
details surrounding Diane's public behavior at the time of the
shooting and her seeming lack of emotion when re enacting
the scene. Becky pokestoles in james argument for Diane's innocence,
(24:57):
which he repeatedly defends. I can tell you that for
many years I've been very angry at you, mainly because
when I tried to talk to you didn't want to
talk to me. One of the things that you said
was the purpose of doing what you're doing is so
you can be sure that Diane does not get parole, right.
I don't want to be a part of that. I
don't want to be a part of somebody that's trying
(25:19):
to keep my sister in prison, because how she acts
is just I've never been shot, I've never had my
child killed in front of me, you know what I mean.
And I just it's just, how are you supposed to act? Well,
you're wrong because you don't know you know what I mean.
(25:41):
At this point, the tension is palpable, straight out in
English language. I could not, in any way, shape or form,
be a part of somebody's life that thought my sister
was guilty. I understand that. And really my life is
now consumed with my sister, which is why I'm sitting here,
and what I want. What I believe is that if
(26:08):
you looked at not actions and evidence, that there isn't
be no doubt that she would believe that she's innocent.
I understand that you came here solely to speak of
her innocence and not to meet me. I wanted to
reach out to you, to give you your voice, um,
and to get to know you so UM. That just
(26:28):
really hurts. I talked to your dad for years. I
don't want to be just some person, and I understand
that you're angry. I would need too, But why are
you here? My sisters in prison and she doesn't belong there,
and I want you to be her mouthpiece. I want
you to go out there and tell the world and
she didn't do this. It becomes clear that James believes
(26:54):
Diane when she says that whoever she claims is the
actual shooter is still out there, a theory he has
also adopted. You want me to be an advocate for her,
but that would require me to believe she's innocent. That's right?
And why do I why? Why? Why? Why? Why wouldn't
even say that to you? If I didn't believe that,
(27:16):
If you stopped and you looked at what happened here,
and if you looked at everything that I've gotten to
show you, if you if you really had an open mind,
you weren't thinking about how crazy she was. There is
no doubt in my mind that you would be, and
then you could use your voice to help get her out.
Is she your mother, she's my biological mother. I don't
(27:37):
constantly say mean things about her. I defend her even
when people you know, say horrible things. I say, she
was in solitary for so long even a sane person
would go crazy. You know. It's those letters that she wrote.
She also believed she was protecting you those letters when
she was saying to keep quiet with talking because he
(27:59):
still out there, she was protecting him. That's part of
her theory about what happened to her. And he believes
that she's being watched, so she believes that we're all
still in endangered. Do you believe that if she was
released she could get help for her mental issues as is?
Do you think she would be safe? I know she
(28:21):
would be safe. It's a really strange talk in her
at times, because as incoherent about the man watching and
things like that, she is so incredibly coherent about If
she doesn't talk about that, she's incredibly coherent, incredibly normal.
There was finally an opening and Becky decides to ask
(28:43):
what she believes is the most important question she has
for James. Yeah, do you know who my biological father is? Sorry? Um,
I do know that he was a guy on her
impulster about is all I know. There's only one person
that knows we were talking earlier, and it's like the
father may not even know he's a file. And that's
what I'm thinking. It's either he's passed away, he doesn't know,
(29:04):
or he doesn't want to know. She didn't tell him.
She didn't him was pregnant. James and Becky finally both
have their respective agendas for the conversation out in the open.
For James Diane's innocence and for Becky her biological father's identity.
James agrees to take a DNA test to help her
in her quest. I mean, I think that would be wonderful.
It might settle Diane a little bit to know for real,
(29:27):
it might help me find my biological father. Oh, it'll
let you know your heritage. So yeah, that's what they say.
My heart. I'm from Denmark about two or three years ago.
My dad probably told you right, you know, yeah, from Denmark,
Denmark Royalty. I don't feel complete. I don't feel complete
(29:53):
talking to you. I want to I feel like you've
judged her because the house believe that if you need
to open, you're you're looking for things. And I'm not
saying you're looking in the wrong area, because nowhere you
look is wrong, but maybe you need to look at
(30:16):
what was done to her, what was done to her
so you couldn't be with her. Even they stopped you
from being with her, she didn't stop it. They stopped.
James calms a bit and sort of seems to regret
being so outwardly aggressive, but still can't help pushing his agenda.
I mean, I understand that you have a lot of emotion, right,
(30:38):
and I'm sorry if I just your emotion. I just
need you to really think about You can send it
to me an email. Why. This is why I think
Diane did this. Okay, all right, thank you guys. I
think that's um a rap for today. That was a
(30:58):
lot for both of you. No apologies, No, I really
really do care, right. I don't want you to be sad.
I don't want anybody to be sad for any reason. Yeah,
and believe me when I said that, I mean that
with my heart. I believe that you're going to beat
your voice. I don't I didn't see it envision underneath that.
(31:20):
It's just my heart blazed though. So we can definitely
talk more. We'll follow up on this. It's hard to
say if Becky got what she wanted from the interaction
with James. It's the first member of the Frederickson's side
of the family who's agreed to meet with her and
have a real conversation about Diane, so in many ways,
(31:43):
it's as close as Becky has ever been to the
maternal side of her family line. Despite the tension between them,
James agreed to give Becky a key piece of the
puzzle to help confirm her genetic identity his d n A.
With this, Becky will hopefully finally be able to confirms
and for all that she's in fact the biological daughter
of Diane Downs. On the next episode of Happy Face
(32:11):
Presents to Face, we unpack the details of exactly what
happened on that faithful night in May of nine when
Diane Downs and her three children arrived at that Springfield,
Oregon hospital, all with gunshot wounds.
I've heard a lot of different theories about my biological father.
I have heard that he was a reporter. I heard
that he was somebody that worked with her at the
post office. I heard that it was another inmates husband.
I've heard that it was just some guy off the street.
She knew she was going to get pregnant, and she
wanted to get pregnant and just picked up the first
guy she saw, So you know, I don't know. In
(00:23):
Diane Downs shot her three children, killing her daughter Cheryl,
and forever altering the lives of not only her two
surviving children, but the other people in her life. Before
her imprisonment, she purposely set out to give birth to
another child, who would incidentally become another life permanently changed
by Diane's actions. There's a tired old idiom that people
(00:45):
often use when confronting the things they've buried and hidden.
The truth will set you free. The fact is, sometimes
the truth is its own prison, like when the truth
of who your father is becomes a dark shadow that
follows you and suffocates you until you finally are forced
to confront it. When eleven year old Becky found out
her biological mother was Diane Downs, it disrupted her identity
(01:07):
and changed the course of her behavior and her life.
Now she's seeking the other half of that puzzle, the
identity of her biological father, someone who may or may
not even know she exists. Will that truth help bring
balance to the way of her own truth, or will
only further add to the chaos of her self image.
(01:36):
Without knowing for sure the identity of Becky's father, one
has to wonder if he himself is even aware that
Becky is his acrosses my mind sometimes, I mean, maybe
he just doesn't want to believe that I could be
that child, or that he could be that father, because
I've been public now for ten years with my story,
and if my biological father wanted to find me, he
(01:59):
would have the only things I can come up with.
Or he doesn't know he's my biological father, he doesn't
want to be my biological father, or is deceased. I mean,
if you are intimate with somebody in nine months later
there's a baby, I would question that. There was very
little physical description of the father given, and what's there
didn't help narrow down the possibilities. My adopted mom she
(02:22):
told me that on my adoption paperwork that he was
listed as being like six two, blonde hair, blue eyes.
That's all I know. I think that he's German or Danish,
and that's it. I don't know anything else. There's a
certain piece to Becky's current situation. She's lived her entire
(02:44):
life up to this point not knowing the identity of
a biological father, and as far as she knows, he
could be anyone, someone good, someone interesting, someone loving, someone
ready to embrace his long lost daughter with open arms.
He could fit any temple it Becky wants or needs
him to. I can decide who he is, and I can.
(03:05):
You know, I think that he's an amazing person, and
and even if he's not, as long as he's a
decent human being, I'd be happy. But I'm scared to
go on this journey because what if he is, you know, deceased.
What if he doesn't want me in his life. It's very,
very scary to open this store. But I am very
lucky to have the parents that I do have. It's
(03:27):
not just Becky's biological father who isn't a part of
her life, but her to have siblings, Christie and Danny,
survivors of Diane's attack, also live their own private lives,
independent of any real relationship with Becky. I did reach
out to them back in two thousand and six. I
found Christie online. We had a little bit of a
conversation going. We spoke every couple of days. She told
(03:49):
me a little bit about herself. I told her about myself,
and one day I got a message that burned Danny
don't want anything to do with me, that so much
time had passed that they don't want to get to
know me more rejection. Christie and Danny knew about Becky,
that they were related, that they shared the similar link,
and still wanted nothing to do with her. And it's
(04:09):
understandable what they went through I could never even imagine,
and maybe being in my life for meeting me would
bring up some of that for them. I'm not sure.
Becky also reached out to Diane's father. I've spoken with
Diane Down's father, Wes. He was a sweet man. He
wanted to tell me a lot of the family history,
(04:30):
but he also wanted to tell me about Diane and
about her case and how she's innocent. Becky didn't set
out with the intention of speaking to Diane's father about
the crime, but to some extent, it was unavoidable. I
asked both Diane and her father when we first spoke
all those years ago, that I didn't want to hear
about her guilt or her innocence. I just want to
(04:52):
hear about her. I just want to know about the family.
I just want to know about my biological father. I
wanted to leave the case out of it because I
knew all they were going to do is try and
convince me that she's innocent. I just wanted to know
them that side of my family. Is there a part
of you that questions whether she's innocent? Diane's innocence has
been a question for a lot of people for a
(05:13):
long time. I don't believe she's innocent, no, but I
know that people do. There are some people, like Diane herself,
who championed her innocence to this day. Her brother, James Frederickson,
is one of them. James was one of the only
(05:34):
family members willing to talk to Becky and me about
Diane and their family history. He believes that part of
understanding who Diane was is understanding her relationship with her
ex husband, Steve, who she blames for much of what
she became. She sent James a letter detailing her marriage
and relationships leading up to the shooting, which is oddly
(05:55):
written mostly in third person. James shares a bit of
that here. Thanks. Just Steve came into our lives in
nineteen seventy one. We had moved Chandler to farm and
Steve was a farm hand from the neighbors. My mom
and dad wanted my sister to data of the boys,
but you know, she was head over heels for Steve,
and obviously Steve's head over heels for her. Judge married
(06:17):
them on November nineteen seventy three, with only Greg Roach
and the judges secretary as witnesses, because Diane had no
friends of her own at that time. She said that
she got married and whatever the date was right, But
the reality is that, you know, she got married because
my dad went over to their house where they were
out of the apartment, and said, you will marry my daughter.
(06:40):
We were Baptist house, you know what I mean. It's
like you didn't want things to to be bad or
look bad, and so you know you will marry my daughter.
Well it happened fast because my dad was there, you know,
and it's like I'm gonna use the term it was
a shotgun wedding, you know what I mean. Steve didn't
want problems with my dad. My dad was really he
didn't physically scarcy that he intimidated him. There is a
(07:02):
theory in domestic violence cases known as the cycle of abuse,
which often begins with rising tension and the need to
play kate the abuser. According to Diane, Steve began this
cycle early into his and Diane's relationship. Steve controlled everyone
she talked to, and he didn't let her talk to
anyone she was working. Then when they married, she was
(07:22):
talking to other guys at lunchtime, and so he made
her quit. He didn't permit a phone in her apartment.
The grocery store was a three minute walk from where
they lived at one hundred West Ray Road, but she
wasn't even permitted to go shopping without him. My sister
was barely eighteen and in her own mind going on twelve,
and had never given her new husband. Caused suspect urban fidelity,
(07:46):
but he was just sick with suspicion and jealousy. Soon
after they married, Steve was openly unfaithful to Diane. Two
weeks after their marriage, Steve came home from work at
the Entire Company where he worked in Mesa and announced
was going out with Janet the receptionists. Diane was a
bit confused by that they were married after all. Steve
(08:07):
blew up and he said, hey, I promised Janet they'd
go out. The marriage vows came so quickly he forgot
to call off their date. He said Diane just needed
to iron his shirt and not make things harder for him.
One month later, Steve went out with his buddies for
New Year. Diane was told to wait at home until
she got tired of waiting, and she walked to his
(08:28):
friend's house. She did what she was told, but Steve
wasn't there. Then they told Diane she'd have to wait
in the line behind Debbie, so Steve was at the
party with other women. Diane was pregnant with Christie, her
oldest daughter, and allegedly Steve saw this as an inconvenience
and didn't want to deal with her. Two months later,
Diane got pregnant. She had morning sickness like most women do,
(08:53):
but instead of Steves hanging around and supporting her, Steve
took her to his parents home and Gilbert because he
wasn't ready to live with a sick wife. While Diane
was at his parents house, Steve moved in with Jackie.
When Jackie's husband, Dale returned from California, Steve ortru Dale
from exile. These are just a little parts about the infidelity,
So then we start talking about the abuse man. According
(09:22):
to Diane, Steve wasn't only controlling and unfaithful, but his
abuse crossed the threshold into physical. In the meantime, Diane
had a second child, Danny, and another daughter, Cherylo. Diane
was talking on the phone. Steve came home. I heard
talking on the phone. He thought she was talking to
a man on the phone, so he picked up the
phone and slammed it down. They argued, and he slapped
(09:45):
and punched her, and the phone rang, and Diane obviously
answered it, and it was actually Holly on the phone
saying that Karen was afraid Steve was hitting her. Diane
looked at Steve and said to Holly, yes he is.
He's still here. So he grabbed the phone and he
hit Diane with it. She rests the phone from Hue,
hung it up and engaged him. Diana and Steve were
(10:06):
divorced at this point, but he still lived with her
and the kids. Eventually, the abuse reached a breaking point
and she started to fight back. A judge issued a
restraining order, but Steve didn't stay away. In the meantime,
Diane had bought a gun in an effort to protect herself,
and then one day Steve had her cornered in a
bathroom when he was kicking the door open. She fired
(10:28):
a warning shot into the floor. The next week, he
moved his furniture out of her home as the stealthies
he moved in. That was September four. In October of
that year, Diane's four month old mobile home burned down,
and she sent her kids to live with Steve so
they wouldn't be homeless. She eventually found another place to live,
(10:48):
but Steve would not allow her to have the children back.
During this time, Diane saw affection from other men. Yeah
she was seeing Nick that time. Nick is Robert Knickerbocker,
a married man who supposedly didn't like children, the fact
that some belief may have later played into Diane's motivation
for the shooting. Married men showed her the most affection
(11:10):
because married men were safe to her, Because married men
didn't want to leave their wives. They just wanted some affection,
and really that's all Diane ever really wanted. She was
still that twelve year old little girl striving for that affection,
and she went out and she got that affection from
married men. Diane's attention from other men is what led
(11:45):
to her earlier divorce from Steve. Despite his own unfaithfulness,
he believed she'd actually become pregnant with Danny due to
an affair. He ended their marriage believing the pregnancy shouldn't
have been possible due to vasectomy. Diane, it seemed, enjoyed
being pregnant. She had a fourth child before Becky, but
this time as a surrogate. So yeah, it was just
(12:06):
basically she went through the surgacy program, delivered to baby,
gave it to a family. She got ten thousand dollars
for that, and that helped her in her life right.
When Diane became pregnant with Becky, James dismissed it as
if it were almost like another surrogacy. And I wasn't
going to have another niece and nephew. I was basically
having another surrogate child. I wasn't attached to it. I
(12:30):
wasn't bonded with it. I wasn't any of that. After
Diane's trial and Becky's birth, James didn't give the baby
much thought. Yeah, they took her away and I knew
that she existed, but I didn't know anything about her.
And that was that out of sight, out of mind.
And then one day Becky appeared on James. First impression
(12:54):
was not a great one. What did you think when
you first saw her on a news program? Honest and
her I didn't understand why she was making a fuss
out of something if she had two perfectly wonderful, loving parents.
I don't remember what exactly said. She basically said that
she's going to make sure that Diane doesn't gain parole.
I didn't like her at all. James had made an
(13:18):
earlier attempt to contact Becky and tried to convert her
to his version of the truth. I resaw to her
on social media and we talked, and I tried talking
to her about what I know is truth, and the
story that she knows is the public story, the Ann
Rules story. She really wasn't willing to listen. Did that
(13:40):
frustrate you? It's always frustrating every single time watching James
grew increasingly frustrated with Anne, rule author of the book
Becky first discovered in the bookstore as an eleven year old.
He believed that she had many things about Diane's story
and the crime wrong, and that Becky's view of her
biological mother's guilt had been colored by that book. He
(14:01):
also doesn't believe that Anne knew the identity of Becky's father,
despite her claims. So people that are adopted, some of
them have a desire to find out who they come from,
whether it's been Diane the murder or Diane the victim.
She still knows that she comes from Diane, and she
doesn't know who her father is um and unfortunately there's
(14:26):
only two people that do. The author didn't know who
the father was because she wasn't there during conception and
has never been told by my sister, who the person asked.
The only people that know are the mother and the
father of Becky. There was some guy in her round,
you know what I mean. It wasn't even a co work.
(14:46):
It was just some guy in her route, you know,
I mean, I I don't. I don't have any idea
who it is. He knows or maybe he doesn't. I
would imagine. So I don't know. Yeah, Diane's never told him,
So maybe he doesn't, you know, because I mean it's like,
you know, she had a reputation of sleeping around you
(15:08):
know what I mean, she didn't, but that was her reputation.
So I mean, as a guy, if you are just
you know, sleeping with somebody just once or twice, and
you know, it's like you're not really concerned whether that
person gets pregnant or not until they come knock on
your door. And so no, he may not know. He
may not know. Despite the fact that James and Becky
(15:33):
didn't see eye to eye and his earlier attempts to
contact her, he wants another chance to explain, which may
be his primary reason for his willingness to meet with
her again ten years ago on the social media and
then VFO and then she didn't really want anything to
do with the truth, as we've stayed earlier. You know,
it's like talking about some of the letters that Diane
(15:54):
wrote her after being in solitary. You need to believe
that she's psycho. You need to believe that she's a
deviant sociopath or whatever those words are that they're throwing
out there, but she wasn't willing to listen. As my
whole point, I talked to her, then she did not listen,
and I'm hoping today she listens. And I'm always willing
(16:15):
to talk to anybody who's willing to listen, because the
truth needs to be out there. While I spoke to James,
Becky was waiting in the studio to speak with him
before bringing her in, I spoke to her alone for
a few minutes to gauge her feelings on the situation
and brief her on what to expect. I've been talking
to James here, asking him about his feelings today about
(16:37):
meeting you, finding out his intentions when we first got
in the studio. Is quite overwhelmed because there's so much
he wanted to share. And then, um, what I found
interesting though, is that he really really cared about today
and wanted to come today with something sort of as
(16:59):
an offering of information that he could provide. First of all,
he has a letter from Diane and it's written to
Amy to you, and it's going to talk about her
time being pregnant with you. Yeah. One thing that I
am concerned about is Diane still denies that I'm her
(17:22):
biological daughter um, and so this letter is written to Amy,
who will I guess I don't identify with because she
doesn't claim to be my biological mother, so there's been
like a disconnect there. I'm not sure how to respond
when James reads that letter, because my initial like knee
jerk reaction would be uncomfortable and upset. The truth is
(17:46):
is that, regardless of the name Amy or Rebecca, you
were that baby. It doesn't feel like that, you know.
It feels like almost a separate person completely, especially because
she doesn't believe that it's me. She may not believe
it's you, but your physical being had that experience as
(18:10):
a newborn, as a child, as a baby girl coming
into this world, and regardless of name, it was your experience.
I wrote her back in two thousand and six when
I put my son up for adoption, wanting to connect
with her. It feels like this letter that you guys
have been talking about is almost going to be that
(18:31):
connection that I needed back then, and after we had
such a meltdown with her in the last letter where
she was very cruel, I don't want that connection with her,
So I'm nervous about hearing this letter and I don't
know how I'll feel if I'm being completely transparent and honest,
I'm almost scared that I want to have that connection,
(18:55):
Like there's that conflict of being the adopted child that
you want that connection with your biological parents. But it's
it's a battle in my heart in my head because
I don't want to be connected to her. M alright,
(19:21):
So how are we gonna do this? Because he's gonna
want to say hi? Then when when he walks through
the door, it's fine where she's bringing it right now?
The recording. Yeah, I'm ready, James. This is Becky h
(19:43):
come to see you. Yeah, how's your chick? That was good? Yeah,
that's good. Yeah, how are you getting through it? It's
a little different, like we were mentioning, is the first
time I've actually mets anybody from the bi family, so
it's it's different. So this is all different. After some
(20:06):
setup and light chit chat to get right into it,
James immediately begins to read the letter he received from Diane.
Says I was four and a half months pregnant when
I was arrested. Amy and I were locked in a
jail cell alone for nearly four months before she was born.
She gave me the strength to keep calm during the trial.
Every day I tell her that she was going to
(20:27):
be okay. I pat her bottom and rubb her back
and camber. I didn't let myself get consumed with worry
for her sake. Then, when we returned to our jail
cell after my first day on the witness stand, there
was a court order waiting in our concrete slab bed
the state, it seems, custody of Amy even before she
(20:48):
was born. The trial wasn't even over yet, and the
state was taking her. I was physically ill, but couldn't
dwell on it because I didn't want Amy to feel
my pain. It was a different story after she was gone.
I cried and cried. It felt like I lost a
friend as much as a child. That's a loss from
which I'll never recovered. That's what my sister said about you. Wow,
(21:13):
so and realized that she felt that way. There's been
pictures painted of my sister's being callous person, not a
good mother. That's the way she felt about all of
her kids. That's not the way she felt about the
surrogate child. You're not a surrogate child. I struggle with
her connection with me because of the fact that she
(21:37):
got pregnant with me on purpose, because she knew she could,
and she wanted to replace Cheryl, and she knew that
she would get sympathy from the courts. And and those
are a rules words, those are writers words. Those aren't true. Okay,
isn't it. I saw something about it. I've never read
an rules book. There was one of her recordings or
(21:59):
something that I thought. I don't know. Anyways, I never
knew she felt that way. James shifts almost immediately into
defensive mode with regards to Diane. There's a bit of
tension between James and Becky, and James is eager to
push through his agenda for meeting. So when did she
write that? About two weeks ago? Well, I asked her
(22:19):
to share something with me because she doesn't want. I said,
the world's needs to understand what you felt like when
you were having the baby. Teeth going. She says she
can't really talk about when the baby was taken away
because it's just crying. You know, she cried and cried.
What else is there to say? She was induced, She
didn't have it natural, And they told the court before
(22:41):
she was convicted that they're going to take the baby away.
They told the Jerves that already finding her guilty before
the Jersey was started deliberating. It is really interesting, it's
very interesting, and and she did. I don't think the
word place it's a good word to say, because you
(23:03):
can never replace you with another baby. She can't replace
Cheryl with another baby. She can't replace Christie with another baby.
You're her daughter, and you were very much loved. The
state did not want you to be raised by her
or see the family, So you've forgiven to another family.
(23:25):
So I feel a sort of a disconnect. I reached
out to Diane Um. I think it was in two
thousand and six, and her first couple of letters were,
you know, oh my gosh, I've always known where you were,
and you'd write me someday. They were excited and happy.
But now to this day, you know, she denies that
I'm her biological child. Um between two right, Yeah, crazy letters,
(23:49):
we might say, right, they're they're pretty intense, yeah, and threatening,
and you know, saying that there's been somebody watching me
my whole life and trying to kill me, and and
and scary stuff. When they're where she did that, did
you feel like you are watching a movie and that
she was threatening you from in the jail, or did
you feel like she was being sincere? She was truly
(24:10):
worried for you, because again, she didn't commit this crime, right.
Whoever did this to her is still out there and
if you are her child, in her opinion, then you're
in danger. Things with James start to grow a bit tense.
There's not a single person, but I know that is
backing me in doing this, because the media has been
(24:33):
very violent, very vile, and the media is one of
the reasons why I I don't want to use the report.
Fearful to meet too, but um, I wasn't looking forward
to meeting you. They go back and forth about the
details surrounding Diane's public behavior at the time of the
shooting and her seeming lack of emotion when re enacting
the scene. Becky pokestoles in james argument for Diane's innocence,
(24:57):
which he repeatedly defends. I can tell you that for
many years I've been very angry at you, mainly because
when I tried to talk to you didn't want to
talk to me. One of the things that you said
was the purpose of doing what you're doing is so
you can be sure that Diane does not get parole, right.
I don't want to be a part of that. I
don't want to be a part of somebody that's trying
(25:19):
to keep my sister in prison, because how she acts
is just I've never been shot, I've never had my
child killed in front of me, you know what I mean.
And I just it's just, how are you supposed to act? Well,
you're wrong because you don't know you know what I mean.
(25:41):
At this point, the tension is palpable, straight out in
English language. I could not, in any way, shape or form,
be a part of somebody's life that thought my sister
was guilty. I understand that. And really my life is
now consumed with my sister, which is why I'm sitting here,
and what I want. What I believe is that if
(26:08):
you looked at not actions and evidence, that there isn't
be no doubt that she would believe that she's innocent.
I understand that you came here solely to speak of
her innocence and not to meet me. I wanted to
reach out to you, to give you your voice, um,
and to get to know you so UM. That just
(26:28):
really hurts. I talked to your dad for years. I
don't want to be just some person, and I understand
that you're angry. I would need too, But why are
you here? My sisters in prison and she doesn't belong there,
and I want you to be her mouthpiece. I want
you to go out there and tell the world and
she didn't do this. It becomes clear that James believes
(26:54):
Diane when she says that whoever she claims is the
actual shooter is still out there, a theory he has
also adopted. You want me to be an advocate for her,
but that would require me to believe she's innocent. That's right?
And why do I why? Why? Why? Why? Why wouldn't
even say that to you? If I didn't believe that,
(27:16):
If you stopped and you looked at what happened here,
and if you looked at everything that I've gotten to
show you, if you if you really had an open mind,
you weren't thinking about how crazy she was. There is
no doubt in my mind that you would be, and
then you could use your voice to help get her out.
Is she your mother, she's my biological mother. I don't
(27:37):
constantly say mean things about her. I defend her even
when people you know, say horrible things. I say, she
was in solitary for so long even a sane person
would go crazy. You know. It's those letters that she wrote.
She also believed she was protecting you those letters when
she was saying to keep quiet with talking because he
(27:59):
still out there, she was protecting him. That's part of
her theory about what happened to her. And he believes
that she's being watched, so she believes that we're all
still in endangered. Do you believe that if she was
released she could get help for her mental issues as is?
Do you think she would be safe? I know she
(28:21):
would be safe. It's a really strange talk in her
at times, because as incoherent about the man watching and
things like that, she is so incredibly coherent about If
she doesn't talk about that, she's incredibly coherent, incredibly normal.
There was finally an opening and Becky decides to ask
(28:43):
what she believes is the most important question she has
for James. Yeah, do you know who my biological father is? Sorry? Um,
I do know that he was a guy on her
impulster about is all I know. There's only one person
that knows we were talking earlier, and it's like the
father may not even know he's a file. And that's
what I'm thinking. It's either he's passed away, he doesn't know,
(29:04):
or he doesn't want to know. She didn't tell him.
She didn't him was pregnant. James and Becky finally both
have their respective agendas for the conversation out in the open.
For James Diane's innocence and for Becky her biological father's identity.
James agrees to take a DNA test to help her
in her quest. I mean, I think that would be wonderful.
It might settle Diane a little bit to know for real,
(29:27):
it might help me find my biological father. Oh, it'll
let you know your heritage. So yeah, that's what they say.
My heart. I'm from Denmark about two or three years ago.
My dad probably told you right, you know, yeah, from Denmark,
Denmark Royalty. I don't feel complete. I don't feel complete
(29:53):
talking to you. I want to I feel like you've
judged her because the house believe that if you need
to open, you're you're looking for things. And I'm not
saying you're looking in the wrong area, because nowhere you
look is wrong, but maybe you need to look at
(30:16):
what was done to her, what was done to her
so you couldn't be with her. Even they stopped you
from being with her, she didn't stop it. They stopped.
James calms a bit and sort of seems to regret
being so outwardly aggressive, but still can't help pushing his agenda.
I mean, I understand that you have a lot of emotion, right,
(30:38):
and I'm sorry if I just your emotion. I just
need you to really think about You can send it
to me an email. Why. This is why I think
Diane did this. Okay, all right, thank you guys. I
think that's um a rap for today. That was a
(30:58):
lot for both of you. No apologies, No, I really
really do care, right. I don't want you to be sad.
I don't want anybody to be sad for any reason. Yeah,
and believe me when I said that, I mean that
with my heart. I believe that you're going to beat
your voice. I don't I didn't see it envision underneath that.
(31:20):
It's just my heart blazed though. So we can definitely
talk more. We'll follow up on this. It's hard to
say if Becky got what she wanted from the interaction
with James. It's the first member of the Frederickson's side
of the family who's agreed to meet with her and
have a real conversation about Diane, so in many ways,
(31:43):
it's as close as Becky has ever been to the
maternal side of her family line. Despite the tension between them,
James agreed to give Becky a key piece of the
puzzle to help confirm her genetic identity his d n A.
With this, Becky will hopefully finally be able to confirms
and for all that she's in fact the biological daughter
of Diane Downs. On the next episode of Happy Face
(32:11):
Presents to Face, we unpack the details of exactly what
happened on that faithful night in May of nine when
Diane Downs and her three children arrived at that Springfield,
Oregon hospital, all with gunshot wounds.
Happy Face Presents: Two Face News
Hosts And Creators
Melissa Moore
Lauren Bright Pacheco
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