July 19, 2021 • 52 mins
Here on the podcast we often talk about how to do smart things with your money, but we also try not to neglect the why behind our actions as well as our attitudes that have a massive impact on our overall approach to personal finance. Today on the show we’re talking with Ken Honda about his book “Happy Money” which is all about the mindset and attitude that we bring to our money which directly impacts our happiness. After a very successful business career, becoming an author was essentially a second career that Ken discovered and developed after retiring before he was 30. Ken’s writings bridge the topics of finance and self-help, focusing on creating and generating personal wealth and happiness through deeper self-honesty. Happiness and handling your money well takes more than just understanding the nuts and bolts, so listen as we talk about the art of gaining peace with your money!
During this episode we enjoyed a Black Widow by Original Sin Cider- thanks to the folks there at Original Sin for sending this one our way! And please help us to spread the word by letting friends and family know about How to Money! Hit the share button, subscribe if you’re not already a regular listener, and give us a quick review in Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Help us to change the conversation around personal finance and get more people doing smart things with their money!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I am Matt,
and today we're talking the art of gaining peace with
your money with Ken Honda. Here on our show, we
(00:28):
often talk about how to do smart things with your money.
It's a it's a part of the reason why we
call it how to Money, but we also try not
to neglect the why behind our actions as well as
our own attitudes that govern our overall approach to personal finance.
And so today on the show, we're talking with Ken
Honda about his book Happy Money, which is all about
(00:49):
the mindset and attitude that we bring to our money
which directly impacts our happiness. And actually becoming an author
for kind was essentially a second career that can discovered
and develop after retiring before he was thirty years old.
But Ken's writings bridge the topics of finance and self help,
focusing on creating and generating personal wealth and happiness through
(01:12):
deeper self honesty. And that's exactly what we're going to
talk about today. So Ken, thank you for joining us
today on the podcast. Hello Matt and Joel, it's my
pleasure to be on your show. Thank you so much
for invitation. Oh can we were so glad that you accepted,
So glad to have you on the show. Our first
question that we ask every single guest Matt and I
we really like to drink craft beer. We think it
(01:35):
tastes good and it's worth spending a little extra money
on the nice stuff, even at the same time while
we're saving and investing well for the future. So yeah,
what what's your craft beer equivalent? What do you explore
John in the here and now while you're also saving
and investing for the future. Okay, that's a very interesting question. Actually, Uh,
people laugh at me when I when I bought a
(01:56):
car electric car attached to the house. Know, it's the
most advanced technology. I think probably Tesla offers something like that.
But now, if you you know, I'm a gadget man.
So if you have a car electric car and attach
it to your house, uh, it runs enough electricity for
like a week, and uh, you know, there's a lot
(02:19):
of earthquakes here, so um in case of emergency, I
thought it would be fun, you know, to have a
car like that. Well not not only fun, but like
you said, it's it seems like a super practical thing.
But yeah, could you power your house off of your
niece on leaf back when you had it too. Can
(02:40):
I used to own a niece on Leaf. I don't anymore,
but I loved it and I love electric cars, so
I totally give the obsession. Yeah. Right, So I'm a
gadget man. You know, people just does sent me all
kinds of gadgets and then people know I love them
so kind. So let's let's dive in your book. We
want to talk all about happy money, and early in
your Look, you write about this experience at a park.
(03:03):
In that experience for you, you you talked about how that
was a turning point. Can you tell us about that? Yes,
I was. I retired when I was twenty nine to
thirty and uh, when my wife and I found out
that she was pregnant. So my original idea was just
for a couple of months, but that got extended to
(03:24):
our year and we ended up spending four years. And
I think almost three years into my semi retirement, I
my daughter and I were at the park in front
of a swing and uh, mother and the child came
in and then they were just spending fun time for
just a couple of minutes. Uh and uh mother said, okay,
(03:48):
your mommy has to go, and uh, the child said,
you know, we just got here, and she was right,
but she said, your mommy has to work, and so
she was literally can often swing. And then they disappeared,
and I sat there so like speechless, and I wonder,
why does you have to go? And of course it's
(04:10):
it's her job and the money, and she seems like
she was so stressed. And I realized that if she
knew more about money and she could probably spend more
time at the park. And on that night I studied
writing about happiness and money and that led to my
series of books later, But that was the original um encounter. Yeah,
(04:35):
it's interesting how you see yourself and you're like, I
can stay at this park for hours with my daughter, um,
because of how I've handled money in that dichotomy of
someone else who you know, partly because they haven't handled
money in the same way, they have to pull their
daughter away and get back to work and and can
your mission It seems less attached to the nuts and
(04:57):
bolts of saving and investing in more. It's more of
an attempt to influence the way people think about their money. So, yeah,
do do you think that the gap between handling money, Well,
do you think it's more mental than practical? You know,
I have taught hundreds of thousands of people personally both
money i Q and money EQ. And there are you know,
(05:19):
many i Q teachers in the world, especially in the West.
You know Robert Kiyosaki, whom I share the stage in
Japan and elsewhere. Uh. Those people teach about financial intelligence,
which is great. But also there's another part. I call
it money e Q and money a Q is money
(05:40):
emotional intelligence, and I think you need to learn more
about those because even the most smart people make stupid
mistakes emotionally and they end up losing it all. So
I think, Um, I'm now focusing more on teaching money EQ.
Now totally get that. Yeah, and you know can in
your book you make the point that the scarcity mindset,
(06:01):
like how that's behind uh like a lot of the
negative emotions that we have when it comes to our money.
You know what's interesting is that, Um, it doesn't really
matter how much you have or how much you make,
It's more about your attitude. If you feel happy with
your money, you feel a lot less stress around money.
But even if you make millions of dollars but still
(06:23):
not happy with money, you feel like you have to
make more, and uh, there's this hell that wanting more,
doing more, and needing more, and you cannot find happiness. So, uh,
you have to know when is enough, and that's what
I call abundance mentality. And when you don't have that,
(06:44):
you're driven to do more. And probably if you're in
the middle of the rat race, you know, you feel
like that's the way that everybody lives, and uh, you
don't know there's another way. Yeah, it's interesting too, because
I feel like a popular way, like a mode of
thought right now, especially in the West, is that acquiring
(07:05):
enough money buys you freedom. Like that's kind of what
people equate building up a two million dollar nest egg
or something like that. It's it's like, at that point,
I can be free and I don't have to work
a job. But you say that that's not true. So yeah,
why why is it? Why do you say that money
and freedom are not equivalent? You know, probably if you're
not financially well off, you think one million dollars will
(07:26):
be just a happy goal. I have written about published
about two hundred books, mostly on happiness and money, mostly
in Japanese, and I interviewed many wealthy people. At one time,
I met up with this person whose company's public, and I,
you know, everybody, by any standard, he's a wealthy man.
(07:47):
So my question was, when did you feel wealthy, you know,
in your uh like twenties or thirties. I expected an
answer like when I was like twenty five, when my
company went like public or stuff like that, but he
post for a second. I said, mmm, I don't think
(08:07):
I'm wealthy. And I was so surprised because you know,
he's a wealthy man. And he said, I'm not wealthy
because I don't have a private jet. And I laughed.
And you know, a few years later, I bump into
somebody who has a private jet and I asked, I
asked the same question, and he said, I'm not wealthy
(08:28):
at all. You know, I'm comfortable with money. But every
time I pull up to uh this special terminal, you know,
uh private jets air terminal, I feel so small because
my plan only seats eight people, whereas like the Kajambo
jets right next to me. So whenever I pull over,
I feel I'm the poorest guy in the world. So like, okay,
(08:51):
So no matter how much you make, there's always, uh,
somebody who's making more. So you have to decide when
is an for you. Otherwise, you know, you keep piling
up money and you'll see no end. Yeah I can, yeah,
kind of do that. In your book you talk about
how we should essentially you call it changing our our
money game, right, and yeah, just like you said, it
(09:13):
can be tempting to always feel the urge to earn
more money, uh, and then you end up in a
cycle where, yeah, the rich don't actually feel rich because
there's always someone else who's richer. So, like, how do
we move out of that money game than to kind
of change the way they're thinking about it. You know,
first of all, you have to know what you think
of money. My favorite question is if money was a person,
(09:36):
who would it be. You know, would it be a
fun person to be with or would it be a cold,
terrible main person. You know, money symbolizes certain things in
your life. Money can be fun, money can be mean,
depending on where you come from. So first of all,
you have to think money is a good friend instead
of a master who just orders you around, and that
(09:58):
means you're a slave to my By the way, and unfortunately,
most of most of us feel that we have slaved
the money. But money is just a neutral energy. You know,
either we become a slave or master or friend. And
so you'd say that the friend approach to money is
the best approach, right, Yeah, I think being a best
(10:19):
friend with money is a fun life to live because
if money is your best friend, if you want to
fly first class and go wherever you want, money can
do it for you. And if you want to shop,
money will prepare it for you. So money can help
you in so many ways. So if you let money
(10:40):
become your friend and just help your life, your life
would be very easy. And once again, you know, even
though I said you don't have to be a millionaire,
you know certain money can help you have some freedom. Right.
So okay, so Joel said, you know, you know, it
sounds like being money's friend or having money be your
friend is kind of tops, right, But like in my mind,
(11:03):
I feel like I want to be the master of
my money, right, And so is that not the mindset
we should take where if you know, essentially we're able
to put money to work for us. You know, it's
interesting a lot of people in the West have this
control issue. You know, if I'm a master, I can
control money. But you know this, once you're stuck with
this control issue, uh, you are afraid that someday these
(11:28):
slaves are going to have a riot and then it's
gonna you know, they're gonna upset the this uh power game,
and then you become a slave again. So when you
try to control somebody, it's the same with relationship. You
feel this fear that someday, uh, they will upset the relationship.
So I think being a best friend is uh gives
(11:50):
you more peace of mind because just to think about
yourself becoming a master, say you have a find intelligent
bank account, you will be afraid that somebody is going
to sue you with somebody's like I R S is
going to attack you, or somebody may kidnap your child,
you know, so there will be a lot of fear.
So unless you deal with this fear or our money
(12:12):
and also uh your future, you cannot be free from
money or financial stuff. So I think being a best
friend is better than becoming master and stay afraid for
the rest of your life. Yeah, we know all about
best friendship on this on the show too, so I agree.
I like, I like the way you you view it.
So again, let's let's talk a little more about I
(12:35):
Q verse e Q two. Because I think you're right.
I think, uh there there there are is a lot
of important knowledge head knowledge that people need to gain
when it comes to money. But I think you're right.
I think there is a lack of people talking about EQ.
And so yeah, when you're talking about money EQ. In
the book, you say that people need to trust before
they're able to get money. So what do you mean
(12:55):
by like that? By that? What do we need to trust?
How do we do that? You know? The reason only
feel so stressed around money is like once we let
go of money, it will never come back. So this
funny distrust around money keeps you sleepless nights. But if
you trust life and if you have a trust that
some even if you run out of money, somebody is
(13:17):
gonna come help you. If you know that, you don't
have to feel fear for around money. So the most
important thing around money issue is trust. Trust that somebody
will will come in and help you. They're they're not
gonna let you fall when you have a financial difficulties.
So I'm always joking if you have more than fifty
(13:38):
two friends and they're kind enough to let you stay
for a week for free. You don't have to worry
about money because you know, you just keep staying, changing
friends and stay stay with the home, and it can
last for a year and after about a year it
can come back and say in a long time, no,
see I like that. It's a good philosophy. Yeah. So
(14:01):
once you know that you have enough good good friends
who help you in case of emergency, you don't have
to worry about money. Like I you know, I don't
have any debt, but if I um lose everything, a
lot of people will come rescue me with some cash
in their hands. So I think I can start over
(14:21):
from anywhere anytime because I have enough great friends who
are willing to help me. So I'm not afraid of
losing everything, you know, the lowsuit or whatever that is,
because I have insurance policy. You know. That's like I
have many friends. Yeah, that's great. I love that. I
love the way you're thinking about that. Um, I love
thinking of friends. Friends are such a great insurance policy.
(14:43):
Because you're right. I think. I think basically what you're
saying is that a lot of us worry needlessly because
we do have all these other options at our disposal,
all these other people that would come to help us
in a time of need, and yet we kind of
think that we're going in alone. And because of that,
it probably brings just unhappiness in general, but then unhappiness
in our relationship with money too. Yeah, and I think
(15:05):
it's as sad that we're born and brought up that way,
you know, uh, like when when we eat food. It's
also a cultural difference too. In the West, you have
individual plates and then you take whatever it's on the
public plate and just move it to your your individual plate.
And also at school, you don't just discuss with your
(15:27):
friends about what what's the best answer and then take
the exam right exam you have to take on your own.
So a lot of things we are almost brain was
to to think that I have to do everything alone
so we can help one another. And I think that's
how we're doing with the neighbors and the project team.
But um, there are so many situations that we're supposed
(15:49):
to do things alone. Let's just imagine that if your
bank account it's like a joint account with your friends,
just you know, you just get to be friends and
have a joint account with your five wealthiest friends, you know,
among all their friends. Don't you think you have no problem?
That sounds nice and eerie. Take the pressure off. Yeah,
(16:12):
it's almost like you have a joint account with you know,
your bodies. So but uh, I know were going to
combine our bank accounts right after this conversation. Yes, In
North America, it brings up so much shame when you
talk about how much money you make. I'm I'm surprised
here that people don't talk about money in public, and
(16:34):
even couples and best friends, you don't know how much
each of you make. You know, I think a sexual
thing is more taboo in Japan and but we are
more open about talking about how much money we make
to one another. But in North America it's it's more
more taboo, right, That's true. Yeah, and that's something that
that's honestly, that's one of the missions of our show
(16:55):
is like we want that to become less taboo. And
you know, we're we're really best friends talking about money
because there is such want to take the lead role
in that because it is taboo and it's um it's
awkward for people to talk about it, and we don't
think it should be. We think it should be more
commonplace that people are able to open up and talk
about money. Um, you know, much more than they do
(17:17):
now and get more specific with it too. Yes. So, um,
I'm just enjoying us so much. You know, I teach
in Europe by teaching China and you know, different countries
and anthropologically it's so much fun. Because for North Americans, uh,
you want to die if you are forced to talk
(17:38):
about your financial life, you know, and then they can
talk about sex, sex life for hours, but they can
they cannot talk about their financial life. You know. It's
opposite in Japan. You know it's because you know, money
can bring so much emotions uh so on on many
of them are negative, you know, the shame, embarron smend
(18:00):
and resentment. So unless you heal do the money owns
in your heart, you cannot have a good relationship with money. Absolutely. Yeah.
And Kenna, actually in your book you talk about how
our past, how it affects how we feel about money,
how essentially has a you know, some control over the
emotions that we have about money. And so we're actually
(18:21):
gonna talk about that. We're gonna talk about our past
and our histories. And we'll get to that right after
this break. We're back from the break, we're talking with
Ken Honda about gaining peace with our money, and it's yeah,
it's a topic that we haven't maybe discussed in this
(18:43):
way before, and so it's really nice time this. Yeah,
definitely not in this depth. And so I'm glad to
have Ken here because his book Happy Money really does
a good job. I think, like, honestly, Ken, when I
was reading this book. The day I was reading it,
I was kind of going through something where I had
to spend a lot of money and it was at
the you really just just reading it at that time
made me think about that completely differently. It really did
(19:06):
just like change my attitude about the purchase I was making. UM.
And for a second, like before before I read, I
was I gotta be honest, I was just kind of
like not happy. UM. I was frustrated by the fact
that that this money was going out of my life. Uh.
And then you know, reading your book, it made me
completely re oriented the way I perceived that purchase, and
(19:27):
it made me say, you know what, I'm so thankful
that I have this money to be able to spend
on this UM even though it feels like a lot. Uh,
it just you gave me. It gave me some gratitude
in the moment. So, um, I gotta say it's a
helpful book. Yeah, let's let's talk about the history of money.
Um and yeah, you say that it's not the richest
people among us, but it's the folks who have figured
(19:49):
out how to change their attitude. And he'll prior money
wounds that are the happiest in life. So how are
we influenced by our past when it comes to money,
and how do those wounds kind of continue to fester
like decades later sometimes? So I always ask my clients
to go back to childhood. Uh say, when you're like
(20:09):
five to eight or ten, unless your parents are comfortable
and happy with money. I'm sure most of us have
been scolded for wasting our money. We're not thinking right,
So we have this traumatic experiences like we were denied
of summer camps and soccer lessons and ballet lessons because
(20:30):
of money. But our parents were too shameful to say
that it's because of money, and they blamed blamed on us.
One of my clients said, you know you wanna learn ballet.
You're not a character you know, you're not so beautiful,
so only the beautiful girls take ballet lessons. How how
(20:52):
terrible is that? And it's nothing to do with the beauty.
But because of the shame that brings up in her father,
he couldn't confront it, so he's he blamed on her. Uh.
And and that's a terrible like a triple attack on
a child, and it's an incredible abuse. But most of
(21:13):
us survived um trauma like that. And years later, when
she wants to go to like UH to get aroma
therapy massage, she automatically thinks, I'm not beautiful enough, so
I don't deserve this treatment. And whatever our parents said
decades ago keep haunting you. And so whenever you think, okay,
(21:37):
this is opportunity, I have to make a purchase, so
I have to apply for schools, and then your parents
voice ringing you don't deserve the money, so, you know,
because you're boring, or you're stupid or wherever that is.
So we have to heal the pain and at least
you have to bring it back to neutral. Otherwise we
(21:59):
make a lot of decisions based on the traumas. Yeah,
it sounds like we can incorrectly put too much of
our self worth in some of those incidents that happened
maybe in our past. I mean, ken, is that why you?
I mean so anxiety and fear, I mean that those
are some of the common emotions that come up as
folks are kind of revisiting their their their past. Is
(22:21):
that why you feel like those emotions are just the
most pervasive. Yes, and uh, not only that. Uh, we
have like overjoy Some of us feel overjoy when they
make money. They become a gambler. So depending on the
traumas we ended up in a different people, we become
(22:41):
a spender, we become a warrior, we become uh money addict.
Who makes who makes um money? And it's almost like addiction.
You know, many money making scheme So even though um
he or she makes a million dollars, now the next goal,
next goal is two million dollars US. So because of
(23:02):
the insecurity you've you've felt in your childhood forces you
to be a certain way. And it's interesting how people
respond to that because I did help a lot of
family members with estate taxes um decades ago, and I
always found it fascinating. You know, they're born and brought
(23:23):
up in the same household brothers and sisters. They become
a totally different people. You know, the older eldest brother,
he became a money addict and he became a hedge
fund something. And then the second one became a scholar.
I call it money in different type. You know, he's
he has no interesting money. He had to be there
(23:44):
because you know, it's a family gathering, and the sister
is a spender. She wants to know how much she
can get so she can spend all the money in
a shopping mall. So you know, they became a different people.
And there are so many mysteries about money, and uh,
the opposite money types are attracted to one another and
(24:05):
they end up mostly they're likely they're end up getting married,
and then they end up getting a divorce because you know,
the same reason that once they're attracted to become the
reasons to have a divorce. So it's a there's a
lot of comedy and tragedies around money that way. And
there are probably a lot of people can too, who
(24:27):
never actually deal with some of the trauma or deal
with some of these cars, and they probably don't even
understand why they have the the relationship with money that
they have. It's probably deep deeply subconscious and they haven't
spent the time to think through it. So yeah, how
do you recommend that folks actually dive deep and move
on and grow from those financial scars? First recognize them
(24:49):
and then like learn to heal them. Are there any
like specific things that you that you recommend that people
do in order to kind of deal with the past
and instead of letting the past continue to inform the present. Yes.
So you know, I'm translating a lot of information from
Japanese to English, so you can do a lot for
free on my website. But first of all, you have
(25:11):
to understand what's what's your money type? You know, if
you spender, just become a detective and then figure out
why you became a spender or warrior or money maker
and uh, and then you realize that your brother ended
up being the other way, and I became this way.
(25:32):
It's because I feel so powerful when I go out
shopping and and then that's why you become a spender.
I feel so powerful when I save money and just
look at my bank statement online. Oh, you know, I
feel safe. So why do you have to feel safe?
Because there's there's some incidents that made you feel insecure.
(25:55):
So now you know that you're secure. You have many
friends to help and the family members will be there.
I don't have to feel so insecure about money anymore.
And then you can start spending money. And the other
type say, if you're a money maker, like I can
feel secure if I don't have a million dollars or
(26:16):
two million dollars in my bank account. But if you
just look at your pattern, Okay, I think I'm a
money money maker, maybe one million dollar isn't enough. If
I cut down all the living expenses, and then you
can just breathe and oh, maybe I don't have to
worry about it anymore. So you know there's no skeleton
(26:37):
in the in the closet is what we say in Japanese.
You know there's no ghost in there in the closet.
So um, you have to know, uh, you became a
certain way because of what happened in the past. Yeah,
and can you talk about two I mean not only
showing gratitude for what happened you know, in your past,
but like in your book you talk about how in
Japan you show gratitude to your ancestors, and so can
(27:00):
you talk about that. So, I mean, how does that
play into some of these emotional scars that are around
because of things that happened in the past. Why should
folks essentially thank their their parents and their grandparents and
their great great grandparents. Uh, what's the point essentially of
recognizing the family patterns that they have come from. Yeah,
(27:22):
thank you. That's a very good question. A client of
mine came to me for a counseling session and he
wanted to be an entrepreneur. And he just said he
was complaining about his parents that they don't understand him
because they are working for a government, you know, uh, bureaucrats.
And the reason why they became a bureaucrats, uh is
(27:45):
that their parents that means grandparents from a client, were
um entrepreneurs. So his parents suffered so much because of
up and downs of being an entrepreneurs. His family, right,
so when they were young, they made sure that their
family would not suffer from ups and dumbs of running
(28:06):
a business. So when you think about skips generations. So, uh,
my client is so super bored with his family because
you know, there's no nothing happening, you know, the same salary,
very boring. His family parents think it's the best thing,
you know, the security, but he got so bored, so
(28:28):
he has so much excitement in him. And his parents
despised that pattern because it reminds them of their unhappy
childhood from their parents. So when they uh, just figure
out one generation back, there are also once again you know,
school teachers. So so when you think of four generations
(28:50):
of how they reacted with money, there is this pattern.
And you know, you think your parents try to control
you or grandparents control you in the way that they
think it's right, but think about it, Uh, they did it.
They did so because of love. They wanted to make
sure that their kids will not suffer. So even though
(29:14):
you feel such a bad energy from your parents or grandparents,
you thought that was their control but or attack even
but in fact there's so much love and they're just
wishing their best for you. But it comes out in
a different way. So if you could feel the love
(29:35):
coming from your parents, grandparents and grand grandparents and the
other generations, you feel supported by eight people, sixteen people,
thirty two people, and thousands of people if you go
back to twelve generations. So once you feel you have
the full support from ancestors, you know you can do
(29:55):
anything in the world. That's how I feel about my
life because my both my parents passed away, but now
I feel a stronger support from them. Uh energy wise,
it's like you know, uh movies in uh Jedda, you
know sty Wars and all the people passed the way, yes,
(30:16):
the forest, they're just protecting you. That's how Japanese people
think of their ancestors. And I think, you know, you
don't have to be religious about that. And if you
think of your parents love and grandparents love the same thing,
you know their love is caring you in your in
your body. Yeah, I think you're right. And I think
sometimes maybe we ascribe bad motives to people or to
(30:39):
our parents for things that weren't handled well. And I
think you're right. I think sometimes parents are just doing
the best they can. And if we can ascribe love
as the motive, even though it didn't play out the
way we wanted it, I think you're right. I think
it's I think it helps our perspective, right. Yeah, so
it's not the way ideal way we kind of expected,
but that's the only way they could show their love.
(31:00):
So even they they could be abusive, but a lot
of parents think, Uh, it's not their abuse, it's a
discipline that uh they have to give to their kids otherwise, Uh,
they'll they will end up in a lot of trouble.
So their motivation was out of love, even though the
actions and outcome was not acceptable, you know. So if
(31:24):
you can feel that they their love was the the
start of everything, you could forgive what they did or
what they didn't, and then uh, you can start receiving
only the love part and I feel more loved and
you feel less scared energy from your past. Right, Well,
can you know with all this attitude change and mindset
(31:46):
shift type of you know, language or using someone listening,
you might think that that you would say that you
can't you shouldn't spend money and that it can't bring happiness,
but you actually say that there is a way for
us to spend money in a in a way that
aligns with with what we truly believe. And so we're
actually gonna talk more about spending money. Maybe we'll touch
(32:06):
on earning money a little bit, and we'll get to
all of that right after this breaks. Alright, we're back
from the break. We're still talking with Ken Honda. We're
talking about gaining peace with your money. And Matt, you said,
we're gonna talk about spending, so let's do it. Yeah,
(32:28):
the frugal person's nightmare is to spend their money right,
which sometimes can be the case for me. Ken, I'll
but yeah, in your book you actually say that once
someone develops a habit of spending, it's often hard to
rent it in And Ken, you know you've been called
that happy millionaire, So how do how does a happy
millionaire think properly about spending their money? So when I
(32:51):
I pull out my credit card or in a situation
to spend money, I always checked myself is this money
going to make happy or other people happy? And I
even asked my money, where do you want to be?
And if money says, you know, I want to go there,
I want to I want to be exchanged with something,
(33:12):
try to make sure that the money will go to
the right spot. So the only criteria is is this
money going to make everyone happy? And by everyone you
mean you and the money money, and also the people
who receive your money. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah you
said that. And initially it almost seems like you kind
(33:34):
of put that out there as like, in one sense,
will this make me happy or is it not going
to make me happy and will make other people happy?
But you're what you're actually saying is that I mean
here by spending money in a way that's generous to
other people, that's the way that we can increase our
own happiness. Right, Yes, Because with money, you're exchanging something
with something like say, if you pay at the restaurant,
(33:57):
you know you receive service and nice food, a nice time.
So either you just you exchange the time and the
food and the service with the money you have could
be created card or cash. Uh. And can you pay
the money with happiness or with frustration? It's your choice.
(34:17):
So whenever you pay something, you can do that with happiness. Yeah,
I think you're right. Like I said, I experienced that
the other day and it just it completely changed my
perspective on what I was buying. Uh. Yeah. And can
when it comes to saving money, you say, if you're
going to save money, you should save it while you're
imagining the fund ways that you're going to spend it later.
(34:38):
So why does that visualization of how that money is
likely going to be spent maybe whether it's you know,
three months down the road or three years down the road.
Why does visualizing it ahead of time? Why is that
so important? You know, um, because it's fun. I always
tell my clients, you know, when you spend money, just
tell your money way of your money and and say
(35:02):
thank you for being with me. Come back with your friends.
You know. That's always like a fun way of just
departing your money, because when you let go of your money,
and always make sure that the money knows that they
have to come back and uh, and it's always fun
to imagine that money is blessing everybody everyone after leaving you,
(35:26):
it will probably uh bless the weather and the farmer
and the truck driver and all the people involved. So
by blessing everyone, and then the money will come back
to you. So I teach kids about this happy money circulation.
Once kids really get this idea, they're so happy to
(35:47):
spend money because by by spending your money, you're making
hundreds of thousands of people happy, and the money circulates.
So if you can see the circulation of money in
a happy way, a you know, I think that's that's
the beauty of capitalism. But we tend to abuse that
system somehow over the years. Yeah, when we take more
(36:10):
of the individualistic approach, we can often not look at
how that money is able to benefit those around us.
Often that we're just folks. We're only looking at our
our account balance. We're not really thinking about how that
benefits other people. Right, So I always imagine that we
are connected in so many different ways. So if you're
connected spiritually, emotionally and financially, some of us I think,
(36:35):
I'd say most of us who live in industrialist country
can spend money for other people. Whoever has more money
than uh that need for their survival. If you get
if you get to share what we have, most of
the world issue problems will be solved, especially starvation and
(36:55):
uh all the bad distribution of the food and medical supplies. Unfortunately,
we are so stuck in this individual ideas that we
own this. You know, we have to leave everything behind
when we die, so just why not just share what
we have? But unfortunately, you know not all of us
(37:16):
think that way. So UM, the reason why I'm doing
this is to remind us that, uh, the money in
your bank account is not only yours, but it's for
somebody else. So if you feel comfortable and if you
feel like more than enough, we can get to share
for other people certainly a different way of looking at
money than I think a lot of people, especially here
(37:39):
in the US, view their money. And so that can
that's spending when it comes to earning, I think it can.
It can also be difficult to remove the negative emotions
surrounding earning money, right because if you've always view your
paycheck as something that your employer just begrudgingly gives you,
right it is there's something that they have to give
you as opposed to something that they're happy to pay,
(37:59):
you know you're going to have unhappy money, right. You
talked about this in your book. Yes, So it's so
sad that a lot of money exchanges are done in frustrations.
Think about that when you if you're freelance, they chose
you for um coaching, and there are hundreds of thousands
of coaches out there, but they chose you. That means
(38:21):
they placed trust in you. And if you're working for
a company, there could be hundreds of other candidates, but
they chose you to work for them, So you can
appreciate about the fact that they give you money weekly
and monthly. One of my students, whose a single mom secretary,
was complaining about the little little pace she got from
(38:42):
her boss. But she realized that even though she didn't
have a college degree, she was hired by her boss.
So the first time in her life, she started showing
her appreciation to her boss and a few weeks later
she got a big race and bonus. You know, her
appreciation paid off financially too. I'm sure her boss felt
(39:07):
appreciation from her and so he felt like he has
to appreciate her back. So appreciation really works. Yeah, And uh,
you know one of the other things when it comes
to earning money, you say that having too much money
can actually be more of a burden than a blessing. Um,
I guess some people say more money more problems, right,
So is that is that? Is that? Is that true? Like? Like,
(39:29):
what is it about having more money than we need
that actually creates more problems for us sometimes? So for example,
if if the money is you you earn, it's okay.
But if the money comes from the trust fund or
your parents or lottery, it's not exactly your money. So
your energy and your money, uh have different energies. I
(39:54):
call that money continer. If you're born with certain size
of a money container, and if money given to you
is bigger, it's going to crack your container. That's why
a lot of a lot of winners end up losing
everything in five years. You know, they don't have the
right container size. So I am teaching wealthy parents about
(40:15):
how to educate their kids, uh financially, because even though
you try to give money to your kids, if you
don't have the right financial education, especially emotionally, your kids
are likely to have drug issues and all the other
addiction addiction issues because it's gonna mess up their minds,
(40:37):
you know. So money can be uh powerful energy to
mess up with people's minds. So if they have the
ability to earn the money, it's okay. But if he
or she doesn't have the ability, you have to really
make sure that he or she can handle it right.
And it obviously has an impact on their happiness, right
(40:59):
because you know you were saying earlier too, it doesn't
matter how much money somebody has if they always feel
that they don't have enough, if they haven't changed their mindset,
then that doesn't necessarily mean that money is going to
bless them. It's not going to be something that makes
them happy. I think some people always think that more
money is going to fix whatever problem you have. That
money is like this hammer and everything's a nail, and
(41:20):
so it's always going to solve the problem at hand.
But that's that's not the case, right, that's a misperception
of what money is and what money does. Right. So
of course you know money can do wonders to some extent,
So I wrote a book about what money can do
and what money cannot do. Money cannot buy you love,
but money can do wonders to help you become a
(41:42):
more loving person. So you have to know the difference
what you can do with money and what you cannot. Otherwise,
you know you'll be more miserable because you think you
can get out with anything if you become a master
of money. But if your attitude is that like that,
people hate that, especially if you try to control people
(42:02):
over the money. So you have to teach your kids
early on how money affects people, because money, once again,
money brings your shame and guilt and frustrations, and you
have to be careful how to play with the money.
You know, even even if you have nothing, and if
you have more than you deserve, people will be jealous
(42:24):
of you about you having a rich parents or reach grandparents,
and it doesn't really matter who you are, they if
you resentment towards you. So you have to be careful
with money energy, otherwise you can make your kids and
grandkids so miserable. It's a it's a tool, right. You
can do a lot of good with money, but you
(42:45):
can also do a lot of harm. Can At the
very beginning of your book, you also say that creating
flow and happiness with money is most easily done with others,
with other people, and we totally agree. This is a
part of why we we do the podcast three times
a week. It's something that we really enjoy being each
other's Joel and are kind of each other's accountability partners
to a certain extent. What are your best suggestions to
(43:07):
help people find like minded peers, whether that be a tribe,
How to folks pursue money happiness with other people? How
can they find those people? Yeah? So, uh, I suggest
people on the way path to financial freedom. There are
so many ways. I really enjoy listening to Rachel you know,
uh the guest uh the other week, and uh, you
(43:30):
know you could you could go uh, you could climb
the mountain of uh financial independence in so many different ways,
and it's more fun if you climb with your friends.
So just become a member of some communities. And if
you want to go through real estate, have fun learning
about that. If you want to do uh, if you
(43:51):
want to start your own business, just become a part
of the community. And I'm helping so many people find
who they are. I think the best way is to
discover your gifts and share with that with other people.
I think that's the short cut to financial independence. So
find what you're good at and discover your gifts and
(44:12):
improve it and share with other people. That will bring
your money, especially happy money. So do what you love
for your heart and don't aim financial independence uh, and
don't make it a priority. Money will come after you
help other people. So just focus on on what you
(44:33):
can give to the world, and the world will respond
with happy money. Can we appreciate your message, We appreciate
your heart, and you're coming on the show to share
everything that you've learned and discovered in regards to how
we can be happier with our money over the years.
Where can our listeners find out more about the book
(44:53):
Happy Money? And you know you and what you're up to. Yes, Unfortunately,
there isn't much information and about me in English. Yeah,
so you can find all the information at Ken Honda
dot com. And I'm going to start English online salon.
I have the second largest um online salon in Japan.
We have about seven thousand people on the list, and
(45:17):
I hope I can get to share what I know
about Happy Money with English speaking people. So from now
I'm going to translate one book at a time. I
have about two books, so there's a lot to work. Wow,
you're prolific here, and of course we'll write you to
your book Happy Money as well, which which we're holding
(45:38):
right here and which has been fantastic. Thank you, thank you.
So I hope to have a chat with you in
one day in in person. Hey, that sounds great. Next
time you're in the States, come on by the studio
and we'll chat again. Yeah, thank you so much for invitation.
I really enjoyed being interview with you and have a
very deep conversation with both of you, Matt and Joy.
(46:00):
Thank you, Thank you, Ken. We appreciate it all right, Matt,
that was a great combo with Kenna. And Yeah, they
call him the happy Millionaire over in Japan, and he
just had some great tips about how to be happier
with money in our relationship with money, and I think
it's important. I think it's important. I think it's something
that we don't talk about enough. You know, you and
I we like to talk about our behavior and money,
(46:21):
but we also like to focus on the nuts and bolts.
We think there's this really both things need to be covered, right.
There's a lack of financial knowledge, but then there's also
a lack of financial e Q. It's not glad to
be able to, you know, focus a little more on
that today in this conversation. And honestly, yeah, that emotional quotient, right,
And it's not just about the intelligence, that's about how
we handle and how we manage our emotions as well
and think about and relate to it. So yeah, yeah,
(46:42):
what was your big takeaway from this conversation? Well, honestly,
just overall, like, I hope that we are able to
maybe incorporate more of the EQ side of things into
our episodes even moving forward as well. I mean, you
and I we didn't talk about this when we talked
with Ken, but even off air, we were kind of
talking about how just addressing attitudes, right, I think can
go a long ways, because it's not just about the
the literal steps that we take, but it's about the heart, uh,
(47:05):
and the attitude behind what it is that we're doing.
And so that's kind of like a very overarching kind
of meta takeaway I think from our conversation with Ken,
but specifically when he was talking about spending, he talked
about when it comes to finding happiness with our spending,
like not only should we be intentional with our money
and pay attention too if it will make us happy,
but to look to others and to see if it
(47:26):
will make them happy, which is such I feel like
that's just such a counterintuitive, kind of Western individualistic way
of looking at money. We're just looking like, is this
gonna make me happy? And how honestly we should probably
be looking to others and finding ways to try to
make them happy. Uh. It kind of ties in a
little bit there at the end he talks about finding
a tribe and finding others to kind of join you
on your personal finance journey. But instead of like it
(47:49):
being something that you gain or something that you conquer,
what he said was to be generous, uh, and find
ways to take your gifts and give them to others
and by doing that you will receive much back essentially.
And so I feel like when it comes whether it
comes to spending your money, uh, you know, finding ways
to to be generous and spending that money on other people,
or when it comes to our mental attention and who
(48:10):
we are pouring our lives into as well, both of
those are ways that we can look outside of ourselves. Uh.
And ultimately, oftentimes we're gonna see that we're gonna gain
a lot in return, even if that's not the original
intentions of our actions. Yeah, I agree, I think, uh,
focusing on others more with how we spend, and then
also just seeing the good that the money that we
spend can do. I think sometimes I spend grudging ly, uh,
(48:33):
even if it's on something good or something I love,
and so then my experience is tainted. Uh. And yeah,
that unhappy money doll exactly exactly honestly, man, this book
was was helpful in a lot of ways. And so
I think my biggest takeaway was when he said to
become best friends with money, and uh, you know you
and I were like that one. We're all about best
friendship here on the show, And yeah, I don't want
(48:53):
to have bad experiences with spending, and I don't want
to do it in a way where even the good
things I bring in the life have some sort of
negativity associated with them. Uh yeah. And it makes me
actually think about a recent episode that that we did
Matt using money stress to your advantage and kind of
taking something that's commonly perceived as negative and saying, actually,
(49:14):
there there's something good here that we can use. And
I think, Um, I don't know, this was such a
nuanced conversation, and I just appreciate all the thought that
Ken has put into helping people not to get rich, right,
but but to find happiness with how we think about money,
with how we save it, with how we spend it,
and how we earn it. Um. I think there's just
a lot to learn from there, especially you know, culturally
in the West, there's a lot we can learn from
(49:35):
from someone like Ken, who comes from an Eastern culture.
I think can hit the nail on the head to
a certain extent when he talked about capitalism is a
great system, but it's got its flaws, and I think
some of those flaws are are consumeristic tendencies and our
selfish nature. Um. That can take over to a certain extent.
So um, yeah, great conversation, a lot of food for thought.
But yeah, let's get back to the beer. Actually it
(49:57):
wasn't here today. It was a cider that the folks
at Original Sin Cider sent our way. This one's called
Black Widow Cider and it's got blackberries and freshly pressed
New York apples. Matt, we don't two siders often, but yeah,
what was your take on this one? Man? I really
enjoyed this. Uh. Yeah, cider isn't something that we often drink,
but this was a cider that I felt like had
a lot of depth. It had a lot of like backbone,
(50:18):
and it says it's got blackberries in it, but I
don't know because the can is black. It makes me
think of like cherry coke. I don't know what it is,
and I know you love you love cherry coke a
whole lot, especially straight from the fountain. You always say
that it's a different formula and you can't beat it.
It is, except for in those freestyle machines. Because I
use cartridges as opposed to the real stirrup. It's gotta
be the real stup. But I feel like I'm not
(50:42):
trying to say that this was like like a cook
of color product, but it had just that you know,
you've you've got regular coke, but then you add that
cherry coke, and all of a sudden, it's like, oh man,
this is this is way better, right Uh? And I
feel like that's what they had going on with the
side of like you've got these great you know, this
great cider base, but then you add in the case
blackberries to it, and it rivals some of the better
(51:03):
craft beers that we have on the show. I feel
like oftentimes when it comes to ciders, sometimes they can
be kind of one note and there's not a whole
lot of depth to those ciders. But man, this one
was really good. Uh. I think it's like won some
awards or something like that, and if they have then
rightly earned. If they haven't, they probably should. Yeah. No,
I agree. I I don't really drink cider, and I
think it's because I think of them as one note
(51:26):
and incredibly sweet, and I'm not into super sweet beverages
except for cherry coke. So uh, this cider was really
really tasty, and I thought it had a lot of
BlackBerry flavor going on it takes it like a mature
adult beverage and not something that I don't know, twenty
something college students would drink. So I really decider for
gen z R. This is like, this is a cider
(51:47):
for millennials. Yeah, Grandpa millennials like us. Yeah, I really,
I really enjoyed it. I thought I had. I had
thought I had some good notes and so you know what,
maybe I'll check out some more ciders in the future,
more of the stuff out. I'm glad this is one
that you and I got to share today on the episode,
but we will make sure to link to Ken's website
uh and specifically this book, which we highly recommend. I
feel like we only just barely scratched the surface of
(52:09):
all the different things that he talks about in this book,
so we'll make sure that that's up on our website
at how to money dot com. That's right. That's gonna
do it for this episode, though, So until next time,
Best Friends Out, Best Friends Out,
Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I am Matt,
and today we're talking the art of gaining peace with
your money with Ken Honda. Here on our show, we
(00:28):
often talk about how to do smart things with your money.
It's a it's a part of the reason why we
call it how to Money, but we also try not
to neglect the why behind our actions as well as
our own attitudes that govern our overall approach to personal finance.
And so today on the show, we're talking with Ken
Honda about his book Happy Money, which is all about
(00:49):
the mindset and attitude that we bring to our money
which directly impacts our happiness. And actually becoming an author
for kind was essentially a second career that can discovered
and develop after retiring before he was thirty years old.
But Ken's writings bridge the topics of finance and self help,
focusing on creating and generating personal wealth and happiness through
(01:12):
deeper self honesty. And that's exactly what we're going to
talk about today. So Ken, thank you for joining us
today on the podcast. Hello Matt and Joel, it's my
pleasure to be on your show. Thank you so much
for invitation. Oh can we were so glad that you accepted,
So glad to have you on the show. Our first
question that we ask every single guest Matt and I
we really like to drink craft beer. We think it
(01:35):
tastes good and it's worth spending a little extra money
on the nice stuff, even at the same time while
we're saving and investing well for the future. So yeah,
what what's your craft beer equivalent? What do you explore
John in the here and now while you're also saving
and investing for the future. Okay, that's a very interesting question. Actually, Uh,
people laugh at me when I when I bought a
(01:56):
car electric car attached to the house. Know, it's the
most advanced technology. I think probably Tesla offers something like that.
But now, if you you know, I'm a gadget man.
So if you have a car electric car and attach
it to your house, uh, it runs enough electricity for
like a week, and uh, you know, there's a lot
(02:19):
of earthquakes here, so um in case of emergency, I
thought it would be fun, you know, to have a
car like that. Well not not only fun, but like
you said, it's it seems like a super practical thing.
But yeah, could you power your house off of your
niece on leaf back when you had it too. Can
(02:40):
I used to own a niece on Leaf. I don't anymore,
but I loved it and I love electric cars, so
I totally give the obsession. Yeah. Right, So I'm a
gadget man. You know, people just does sent me all
kinds of gadgets and then people know I love them
so kind. So let's let's dive in your book. We
want to talk all about happy money, and early in
your Look, you write about this experience at a park.
(03:03):
In that experience for you, you you talked about how that
was a turning point. Can you tell us about that? Yes,
I was. I retired when I was twenty nine to
thirty and uh, when my wife and I found out
that she was pregnant. So my original idea was just
for a couple of months, but that got extended to
(03:24):
our year and we ended up spending four years. And
I think almost three years into my semi retirement, I
my daughter and I were at the park in front
of a swing and uh, mother and the child came
in and then they were just spending fun time for
just a couple of minutes. Uh and uh mother said, okay,
(03:48):
your mommy has to go, and uh, the child said,
you know, we just got here, and she was right,
but she said, your mommy has to work, and so
she was literally can often swing. And then they disappeared,
and I sat there so like speechless, and I wonder,
why does you have to go? And of course it's
(04:10):
it's her job and the money, and she seems like
she was so stressed. And I realized that if she
knew more about money and she could probably spend more
time at the park. And on that night I studied
writing about happiness and money and that led to my
series of books later, But that was the original um encounter. Yeah,
(04:35):
it's interesting how you see yourself and you're like, I
can stay at this park for hours with my daughter, um,
because of how I've handled money in that dichotomy of
someone else who you know, partly because they haven't handled
money in the same way, they have to pull their
daughter away and get back to work and and can
your mission It seems less attached to the nuts and
(04:57):
bolts of saving and investing in more. It's more of
an attempt to influence the way people think about their money. So, yeah,
do do you think that the gap between handling money, Well,
do you think it's more mental than practical? You know,
I have taught hundreds of thousands of people personally both
money i Q and money EQ. And there are you know,
(05:19):
many i Q teachers in the world, especially in the West.
You know Robert Kiyosaki, whom I share the stage in
Japan and elsewhere. Uh. Those people teach about financial intelligence,
which is great. But also there's another part. I call
it money e Q and money a Q is money
(05:40):
emotional intelligence, and I think you need to learn more
about those because even the most smart people make stupid
mistakes emotionally and they end up losing it all. So
I think, Um, I'm now focusing more on teaching money EQ.
Now totally get that. Yeah, and you know can in
your book you make the point that the scarcity mindset,
(06:01):
like how that's behind uh like a lot of the
negative emotions that we have when it comes to our money.
You know what's interesting is that, Um, it doesn't really
matter how much you have or how much you make,
It's more about your attitude. If you feel happy with
your money, you feel a lot less stress around money.
But even if you make millions of dollars but still
(06:23):
not happy with money, you feel like you have to
make more, and uh, there's this hell that wanting more,
doing more, and needing more, and you cannot find happiness. So, uh,
you have to know when is enough, and that's what
I call abundance mentality. And when you don't have that,
(06:44):
you're driven to do more. And probably if you're in
the middle of the rat race, you know, you feel
like that's the way that everybody lives, and uh, you
don't know there's another way. Yeah, it's interesting too, because
I feel like a popular way, like a mode of
thought right now, especially in the West, is that acquiring
(07:05):
enough money buys you freedom. Like that's kind of what
people equate building up a two million dollar nest egg
or something like that. It's it's like, at that point,
I can be free and I don't have to work
a job. But you say that that's not true. So yeah,
why why is it? Why do you say that money
and freedom are not equivalent? You know, probably if you're
not financially well off, you think one million dollars will
(07:26):
be just a happy goal. I have written about published
about two hundred books, mostly on happiness and money, mostly
in Japanese, and I interviewed many wealthy people. At one time,
I met up with this person whose company's public, and I,
you know, everybody, by any standard, he's a wealthy man.
(07:47):
So my question was, when did you feel wealthy, you know,
in your uh like twenties or thirties. I expected an
answer like when I was like twenty five, when my
company went like public or stuff like that, but he
post for a second. I said, mmm, I don't think
(08:07):
I'm wealthy. And I was so surprised because you know,
he's a wealthy man. And he said, I'm not wealthy
because I don't have a private jet. And I laughed.
And you know, a few years later, I bump into
somebody who has a private jet and I asked, I
asked the same question, and he said, I'm not wealthy
(08:28):
at all. You know, I'm comfortable with money. But every
time I pull up to uh this special terminal, you know,
uh private jets air terminal, I feel so small because
my plan only seats eight people, whereas like the Kajambo
jets right next to me. So whenever I pull over,
I feel I'm the poorest guy in the world. So like, okay,
(08:51):
So no matter how much you make, there's always, uh,
somebody who's making more. So you have to decide when
is an for you. Otherwise, you know, you keep piling
up money and you'll see no end. Yeah I can, yeah,
kind of do that. In your book you talk about
how we should essentially you call it changing our our
money game, right, and yeah, just like you said, it
(09:13):
can be tempting to always feel the urge to earn
more money, uh, and then you end up in a
cycle where, yeah, the rich don't actually feel rich because
there's always someone else who's richer. So, like, how do
we move out of that money game than to kind
of change the way they're thinking about it. You know,
first of all, you have to know what you think
of money. My favorite question is if money was a person,
(09:36):
who would it be. You know, would it be a
fun person to be with or would it be a cold,
terrible main person. You know, money symbolizes certain things in
your life. Money can be fun, money can be mean,
depending on where you come from. So first of all,
you have to think money is a good friend instead
of a master who just orders you around, and that
(09:58):
means you're a slave to my By the way, and unfortunately,
most of most of us feel that we have slaved
the money. But money is just a neutral energy. You know,
either we become a slave or master or friend. And
so you'd say that the friend approach to money is
the best approach, right, Yeah, I think being a best
(10:19):
friend with money is a fun life to live because
if money is your best friend, if you want to
fly first class and go wherever you want, money can
do it for you. And if you want to shop,
money will prepare it for you. So money can help
you in so many ways. So if you let money
(10:40):
become your friend and just help your life, your life
would be very easy. And once again, you know, even
though I said you don't have to be a millionaire,
you know certain money can help you have some freedom. Right.
So okay, so Joel said, you know, you know, it
sounds like being money's friend or having money be your
friend is kind of tops, right, But like in my mind,
(11:03):
I feel like I want to be the master of
my money, right, And so is that not the mindset
we should take where if you know, essentially we're able
to put money to work for us. You know, it's
interesting a lot of people in the West have this
control issue. You know, if I'm a master, I can
control money. But you know this, once you're stuck with
this control issue, uh, you are afraid that someday these
(11:28):
slaves are going to have a riot and then it's
gonna you know, they're gonna upset the this uh power game,
and then you become a slave again. So when you
try to control somebody, it's the same with relationship. You
feel this fear that someday, uh, they will upset the relationship.
So I think being a best friend is uh gives
(11:50):
you more peace of mind because just to think about
yourself becoming a master, say you have a find intelligent
bank account, you will be afraid that somebody is going
to sue you with somebody's like I R S is
going to attack you, or somebody may kidnap your child,
you know, so there will be a lot of fear.
So unless you deal with this fear or our money
(12:12):
and also uh your future, you cannot be free from
money or financial stuff. So I think being a best
friend is better than becoming master and stay afraid for
the rest of your life. Yeah, we know all about
best friendship on this on the show too, so I agree.
I like, I like the way you you view it.
So again, let's let's talk a little more about I
(12:35):
Q verse e Q two. Because I think you're right.
I think, uh there there there are is a lot
of important knowledge head knowledge that people need to gain
when it comes to money. But I think you're right.
I think there is a lack of people talking about EQ.
And so yeah, when you're talking about money EQ. In
the book, you say that people need to trust before
they're able to get money. So what do you mean
(12:55):
by like that? By that? What do we need to trust?
How do we do that? You know? The reason only
feel so stressed around money is like once we let
go of money, it will never come back. So this
funny distrust around money keeps you sleepless nights. But if
you trust life and if you have a trust that
some even if you run out of money, somebody is
(13:17):
gonna come help you. If you know that, you don't
have to feel fear for around money. So the most
important thing around money issue is trust. Trust that somebody
will will come in and help you. They're they're not
gonna let you fall when you have a financial difficulties.
So I'm always joking if you have more than fifty
(13:38):
two friends and they're kind enough to let you stay
for a week for free. You don't have to worry
about money because you know, you just keep staying, changing
friends and stay stay with the home, and it can
last for a year and after about a year it
can come back and say in a long time, no,
see I like that. It's a good philosophy. Yeah. So
(14:01):
once you know that you have enough good good friends
who help you in case of emergency, you don't have
to worry about money. Like I you know, I don't
have any debt, but if I um lose everything, a
lot of people will come rescue me with some cash
in their hands. So I think I can start over
(14:21):
from anywhere anytime because I have enough great friends who
are willing to help me. So I'm not afraid of
losing everything, you know, the lowsuit or whatever that is,
because I have insurance policy. You know. That's like I
have many friends. Yeah, that's great. I love that. I
love the way you're thinking about that. Um, I love
thinking of friends. Friends are such a great insurance policy.
(14:43):
Because you're right. I think. I think basically what you're
saying is that a lot of us worry needlessly because
we do have all these other options at our disposal,
all these other people that would come to help us
in a time of need, and yet we kind of
think that we're going in alone. And because of that,
it probably brings just unhappiness in general, but then unhappiness
in our relationship with money too. Yeah, and I think
(15:05):
it's as sad that we're born and brought up that way,
you know, uh, like when when we eat food. It's
also a cultural difference too. In the West, you have
individual plates and then you take whatever it's on the
public plate and just move it to your your individual plate.
And also at school, you don't just discuss with your
(15:27):
friends about what what's the best answer and then take
the exam right exam you have to take on your own.
So a lot of things we are almost brain was
to to think that I have to do everything alone
so we can help one another. And I think that's
how we're doing with the neighbors and the project team.
But um, there are so many situations that we're supposed
(15:49):
to do things alone. Let's just imagine that if your
bank account it's like a joint account with your friends,
just you know, you just get to be friends and
have a joint account with your five wealthiest friends, you know,
among all their friends. Don't you think you have no problem?
That sounds nice and eerie. Take the pressure off. Yeah,
(16:12):
it's almost like you have a joint account with you know,
your bodies. So but uh, I know were going to
combine our bank accounts right after this conversation. Yes, In
North America, it brings up so much shame when you
talk about how much money you make. I'm I'm surprised
here that people don't talk about money in public, and
(16:34):
even couples and best friends, you don't know how much
each of you make. You know, I think a sexual
thing is more taboo in Japan and but we are
more open about talking about how much money we make
to one another. But in North America it's it's more
more taboo, right, That's true. Yeah, and that's something that
that's honestly, that's one of the missions of our show
(16:55):
is like we want that to become less taboo. And
you know, we're we're really best friends talking about money
because there is such want to take the lead role
in that because it is taboo and it's um it's
awkward for people to talk about it, and we don't
think it should be. We think it should be more
commonplace that people are able to open up and talk
about money. Um, you know, much more than they do
(17:17):
now and get more specific with it too. Yes. So, um,
I'm just enjoying us so much. You know, I teach
in Europe by teaching China and you know, different countries
and anthropologically it's so much fun. Because for North Americans, uh,
you want to die if you are forced to talk
(17:38):
about your financial life, you know, and then they can
talk about sex, sex life for hours, but they can
they cannot talk about their financial life. You know. It's
opposite in Japan. You know it's because you know, money
can bring so much emotions uh so on on many
of them are negative, you know, the shame, embarron smend
(18:00):
and resentment. So unless you heal do the money owns
in your heart, you cannot have a good relationship with money. Absolutely. Yeah.
And Kenna, actually in your book you talk about how
our past, how it affects how we feel about money,
how essentially has a you know, some control over the
emotions that we have about money. And so we're actually
(18:21):
gonna talk about that. We're gonna talk about our past
and our histories. And we'll get to that right after
this break. We're back from the break, we're talking with
Ken Honda about gaining peace with our money, and it's yeah,
it's a topic that we haven't maybe discussed in this
(18:43):
way before, and so it's really nice time this. Yeah,
definitely not in this depth. And so I'm glad to
have Ken here because his book Happy Money really does
a good job. I think, like, honestly, Ken, when I
was reading this book. The day I was reading it,
I was kind of going through something where I had
to spend a lot of money and it was at
the you really just just reading it at that time
made me think about that completely differently. It really did
(19:06):
just like change my attitude about the purchase I was making. UM.
And for a second, like before before I read, I
was I gotta be honest, I was just kind of
like not happy. UM. I was frustrated by the fact
that that this money was going out of my life. Uh.
And then you know, reading your book, it made me
completely re oriented the way I perceived that purchase, and
(19:27):
it made me say, you know what, I'm so thankful
that I have this money to be able to spend
on this UM even though it feels like a lot. Uh,
it just you gave me. It gave me some gratitude
in the moment. So, um, I gotta say it's a
helpful book. Yeah, let's let's talk about the history of money.
Um and yeah, you say that it's not the richest
people among us, but it's the folks who have figured
(19:49):
out how to change their attitude. And he'll prior money
wounds that are the happiest in life. So how are
we influenced by our past when it comes to money,
and how do those wounds kind of continue to fester
like decades later sometimes? So I always ask my clients
to go back to childhood. Uh say, when you're like
(20:09):
five to eight or ten, unless your parents are comfortable
and happy with money. I'm sure most of us have
been scolded for wasting our money. We're not thinking right,
So we have this traumatic experiences like we were denied
of summer camps and soccer lessons and ballet lessons because
(20:30):
of money. But our parents were too shameful to say
that it's because of money, and they blamed blamed on us.
One of my clients said, you know you wanna learn ballet.
You're not a character you know, you're not so beautiful,
so only the beautiful girls take ballet lessons. How how
(20:52):
terrible is that? And it's nothing to do with the beauty.
But because of the shame that brings up in her father,
he couldn't confront it, so he's he blamed on her. Uh.
And and that's a terrible like a triple attack on
a child, and it's an incredible abuse. But most of
(21:13):
us survived um trauma like that. And years later, when
she wants to go to like UH to get aroma
therapy massage, she automatically thinks, I'm not beautiful enough, so
I don't deserve this treatment. And whatever our parents said
decades ago keep haunting you. And so whenever you think, okay,
(21:37):
this is opportunity, I have to make a purchase, so
I have to apply for schools, and then your parents
voice ringing you don't deserve the money, so, you know,
because you're boring, or you're stupid or wherever that is.
So we have to heal the pain and at least
you have to bring it back to neutral. Otherwise we
(21:59):
make a lot of decisions based on the traumas. Yeah,
it sounds like we can incorrectly put too much of
our self worth in some of those incidents that happened
maybe in our past. I mean, ken, is that why you?
I mean so anxiety and fear, I mean that those
are some of the common emotions that come up as
folks are kind of revisiting their their their past. Is
(22:21):
that why you feel like those emotions are just the
most pervasive. Yes, and uh, not only that. Uh, we
have like overjoy Some of us feel overjoy when they
make money. They become a gambler. So depending on the
traumas we ended up in a different people, we become
(22:41):
a spender, we become a warrior, we become uh money addict.
Who makes who makes um money? And it's almost like addiction.
You know, many money making scheme So even though um
he or she makes a million dollars, now the next goal,
next goal is two million dollars US. So because of
(23:02):
the insecurity you've you've felt in your childhood forces you
to be a certain way. And it's interesting how people
respond to that because I did help a lot of
family members with estate taxes um decades ago, and I
always found it fascinating. You know, they're born and brought
(23:23):
up in the same household brothers and sisters. They become
a totally different people. You know, the older eldest brother,
he became a money addict and he became a hedge
fund something. And then the second one became a scholar.
I call it money in different type. You know, he's
he has no interesting money. He had to be there
(23:44):
because you know, it's a family gathering, and the sister
is a spender. She wants to know how much she
can get so she can spend all the money in
a shopping mall. So you know, they became a different people.
And there are so many mysteries about money, and uh,
the opposite money types are attracted to one another and
(24:05):
they end up mostly they're likely they're end up getting married,
and then they end up getting a divorce because you know,
the same reason that once they're attracted to become the
reasons to have a divorce. So it's a there's a
lot of comedy and tragedies around money that way. And
there are probably a lot of people can too, who
(24:27):
never actually deal with some of the trauma or deal
with some of these cars, and they probably don't even
understand why they have the the relationship with money that
they have. It's probably deep deeply subconscious and they haven't
spent the time to think through it. So yeah, how
do you recommend that folks actually dive deep and move
on and grow from those financial scars? First recognize them
(24:49):
and then like learn to heal them. Are there any
like specific things that you that you recommend that people
do in order to kind of deal with the past
and instead of letting the past continue to inform the present. Yes.
So you know, I'm translating a lot of information from
Japanese to English, so you can do a lot for
free on my website. But first of all, you have
(25:11):
to understand what's what's your money type? You know, if
you spender, just become a detective and then figure out
why you became a spender or warrior or money maker
and uh, and then you realize that your brother ended
up being the other way, and I became this way.
(25:32):
It's because I feel so powerful when I go out
shopping and and then that's why you become a spender.
I feel so powerful when I save money and just
look at my bank statement online. Oh, you know, I
feel safe. So why do you have to feel safe?
Because there's there's some incidents that made you feel insecure.
(25:55):
So now you know that you're secure. You have many
friends to help and the family members will be there.
I don't have to feel so insecure about money anymore.
And then you can start spending money. And the other
type say, if you're a money maker, like I can
feel secure if I don't have a million dollars or
(26:16):
two million dollars in my bank account. But if you
just look at your pattern, Okay, I think I'm a
money money maker, maybe one million dollar isn't enough. If
I cut down all the living expenses, and then you
can just breathe and oh, maybe I don't have to
worry about it anymore. So you know there's no skeleton
(26:37):
in the in the closet is what we say in Japanese.
You know there's no ghost in there in the closet.
So um, you have to know, uh, you became a
certain way because of what happened in the past. Yeah,
and can you talk about two I mean not only
showing gratitude for what happened you know, in your past,
but like in your book you talk about how in
Japan you show gratitude to your ancestors, and so can
(27:00):
you talk about that. So, I mean, how does that
play into some of these emotional scars that are around
because of things that happened in the past. Why should
folks essentially thank their their parents and their grandparents and
their great great grandparents. Uh, what's the point essentially of
recognizing the family patterns that they have come from. Yeah,
(27:22):
thank you. That's a very good question. A client of
mine came to me for a counseling session and he
wanted to be an entrepreneur. And he just said he
was complaining about his parents that they don't understand him
because they are working for a government, you know, uh, bureaucrats.
And the reason why they became a bureaucrats, uh is
(27:45):
that their parents that means grandparents from a client, were
um entrepreneurs. So his parents suffered so much because of
up and downs of being an entrepreneurs. His family, right,
so when they were young, they made sure that their
family would not suffer from ups and dumbs of running
(28:06):
a business. So when you think about skips generations. So, uh,
my client is so super bored with his family because
you know, there's no nothing happening, you know, the same salary,
very boring. His family parents think it's the best thing,
you know, the security, but he got so bored, so
(28:28):
he has so much excitement in him. And his parents
despised that pattern because it reminds them of their unhappy
childhood from their parents. So when they uh, just figure
out one generation back, there are also once again you know,
school teachers. So so when you think of four generations
(28:50):
of how they reacted with money, there is this pattern.
And you know, you think your parents try to control
you or grandparents control you in the way that they
think it's right, but think about it, Uh, they did it.
They did so because of love. They wanted to make
sure that their kids will not suffer. So even though
(29:14):
you feel such a bad energy from your parents or grandparents,
you thought that was their control but or attack even
but in fact there's so much love and they're just
wishing their best for you. But it comes out in
a different way. So if you could feel the love
(29:35):
coming from your parents, grandparents and grand grandparents and the
other generations, you feel supported by eight people, sixteen people,
thirty two people, and thousands of people if you go
back to twelve generations. So once you feel you have
the full support from ancestors, you know you can do
(29:55):
anything in the world. That's how I feel about my
life because my both my parents passed away, but now
I feel a stronger support from them. Uh energy wise,
it's like you know, uh movies in uh Jedda, you
know sty Wars and all the people passed the way, yes,
(30:16):
the forest, they're just protecting you. That's how Japanese people
think of their ancestors. And I think, you know, you
don't have to be religious about that. And if you
think of your parents love and grandparents love the same thing,
you know their love is caring you in your in
your body. Yeah, I think you're right. And I think
sometimes maybe we ascribe bad motives to people or to
(30:39):
our parents for things that weren't handled well. And I
think you're right. I think sometimes parents are just doing
the best they can. And if we can ascribe love
as the motive, even though it didn't play out the
way we wanted it, I think you're right. I think
it's I think it helps our perspective, right. Yeah, so
it's not the way ideal way we kind of expected,
but that's the only way they could show their love.
(31:00):
So even they they could be abusive, but a lot
of parents think, Uh, it's not their abuse, it's a
discipline that uh they have to give to their kids otherwise, Uh,
they'll they will end up in a lot of trouble.
So their motivation was out of love, even though the
actions and outcome was not acceptable, you know. So if
(31:24):
you can feel that they their love was the the
start of everything, you could forgive what they did or
what they didn't, and then uh, you can start receiving
only the love part and I feel more loved and
you feel less scared energy from your past. Right, Well,
can you know with all this attitude change and mindset
(31:46):
shift type of you know, language or using someone listening,
you might think that that you would say that you
can't you shouldn't spend money and that it can't bring happiness,
but you actually say that there is a way for
us to spend money in a in a way that
aligns with with what we truly believe. And so we're
actually gonna talk more about spending money. Maybe we'll touch
(32:06):
on earning money a little bit, and we'll get to
all of that right after this breaks. Alright, we're back
from the break. We're still talking with Ken Honda. We're
talking about gaining peace with your money. And Matt, you said,
we're gonna talk about spending, so let's do it. Yeah,
(32:28):
the frugal person's nightmare is to spend their money right,
which sometimes can be the case for me. Ken, I'll
but yeah, in your book you actually say that once
someone develops a habit of spending, it's often hard to
rent it in And Ken, you know you've been called
that happy millionaire, So how do how does a happy
millionaire think properly about spending their money? So when I
(32:51):
I pull out my credit card or in a situation
to spend money, I always checked myself is this money
going to make happy or other people happy? And I
even asked my money, where do you want to be?
And if money says, you know, I want to go there,
I want to I want to be exchanged with something,
(33:12):
try to make sure that the money will go to
the right spot. So the only criteria is is this
money going to make everyone happy? And by everyone you
mean you and the money money, and also the people
who receive your money. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah you
said that. And initially it almost seems like you kind
(33:34):
of put that out there as like, in one sense,
will this make me happy or is it not going
to make me happy and will make other people happy?
But you're what you're actually saying is that I mean
here by spending money in a way that's generous to
other people, that's the way that we can increase our
own happiness. Right, Yes, Because with money, you're exchanging something
with something like say, if you pay at the restaurant,
(33:57):
you know you receive service and nice food, a nice time.
So either you just you exchange the time and the
food and the service with the money you have could
be created card or cash. Uh. And can you pay
the money with happiness or with frustration? It's your choice.
(34:17):
So whenever you pay something, you can do that with happiness. Yeah,
I think you're right. Like I said, I experienced that
the other day and it just it completely changed my
perspective on what I was buying. Uh. Yeah. And can
when it comes to saving money, you say, if you're
going to save money, you should save it while you're
imagining the fund ways that you're going to spend it later.
(34:38):
So why does that visualization of how that money is
likely going to be spent maybe whether it's you know,
three months down the road or three years down the road.
Why does visualizing it ahead of time? Why is that
so important? You know, um, because it's fun. I always
tell my clients, you know, when you spend money, just
tell your money way of your money and and say
(35:02):
thank you for being with me. Come back with your friends.
You know. That's always like a fun way of just
departing your money, because when you let go of your money,
and always make sure that the money knows that they
have to come back and uh, and it's always fun
to imagine that money is blessing everybody everyone after leaving you,
(35:26):
it will probably uh bless the weather and the farmer
and the truck driver and all the people involved. So
by blessing everyone, and then the money will come back
to you. So I teach kids about this happy money circulation.
Once kids really get this idea, they're so happy to
(35:47):
spend money because by by spending your money, you're making
hundreds of thousands of people happy, and the money circulates.
So if you can see the circulation of money in
a happy way, a you know, I think that's that's
the beauty of capitalism. But we tend to abuse that
system somehow over the years. Yeah, when we take more
(36:10):
of the individualistic approach, we can often not look at
how that money is able to benefit those around us.
Often that we're just folks. We're only looking at our
our account balance. We're not really thinking about how that
benefits other people. Right, So I always imagine that we
are connected in so many different ways. So if you're
connected spiritually, emotionally and financially, some of us I think,
(36:35):
I'd say most of us who live in industrialist country
can spend money for other people. Whoever has more money
than uh that need for their survival. If you get
if you get to share what we have, most of
the world issue problems will be solved, especially starvation and
(36:55):
uh all the bad distribution of the food and medical supplies. Unfortunately,
we are so stuck in this individual ideas that we
own this. You know, we have to leave everything behind
when we die, so just why not just share what
we have? But unfortunately, you know not all of us
(37:16):
think that way. So UM, the reason why I'm doing
this is to remind us that, uh, the money in
your bank account is not only yours, but it's for
somebody else. So if you feel comfortable and if you
feel like more than enough, we can get to share
for other people certainly a different way of looking at
money than I think a lot of people, especially here
(37:39):
in the US, view their money. And so that can
that's spending when it comes to earning, I think it can.
It can also be difficult to remove the negative emotions
surrounding earning money, right because if you've always view your
paycheck as something that your employer just begrudgingly gives you,
right it is there's something that they have to give
you as opposed to something that they're happy to pay,
(37:59):
you know you're going to have unhappy money, right. You
talked about this in your book. Yes, So it's so
sad that a lot of money exchanges are done in frustrations.
Think about that when you if you're freelance, they chose
you for um coaching, and there are hundreds of thousands
of coaches out there, but they chose you. That means
(38:21):
they placed trust in you. And if you're working for
a company, there could be hundreds of other candidates, but
they chose you to work for them, So you can
appreciate about the fact that they give you money weekly
and monthly. One of my students, whose a single mom secretary,
was complaining about the little little pace she got from
(38:42):
her boss. But she realized that even though she didn't
have a college degree, she was hired by her boss.
So the first time in her life, she started showing
her appreciation to her boss and a few weeks later
she got a big race and bonus. You know, her
appreciation paid off financially too. I'm sure her boss felt
(39:07):
appreciation from her and so he felt like he has
to appreciate her back. So appreciation really works. Yeah, And uh,
you know one of the other things when it comes
to earning money, you say that having too much money
can actually be more of a burden than a blessing. Um,
I guess some people say more money more problems, right,
So is that is that? Is that? Is that true? Like? Like,
(39:29):
what is it about having more money than we need
that actually creates more problems for us sometimes? So for example,
if if the money is you you earn, it's okay.
But if the money comes from the trust fund or
your parents or lottery, it's not exactly your money. So
your energy and your money, uh have different energies. I
(39:54):
call that money continer. If you're born with certain size
of a money container, and if money given to you
is bigger, it's going to crack your container. That's why
a lot of a lot of winners end up losing
everything in five years. You know, they don't have the
right container size. So I am teaching wealthy parents about
(40:15):
how to educate their kids, uh financially, because even though
you try to give money to your kids, if you
don't have the right financial education, especially emotionally, your kids
are likely to have drug issues and all the other
addiction addiction issues because it's gonna mess up their minds,
(40:37):
you know. So money can be uh powerful energy to
mess up with people's minds. So if they have the
ability to earn the money, it's okay. But if he
or she doesn't have the ability, you have to really
make sure that he or she can handle it right.
And it obviously has an impact on their happiness, right
(40:59):
because you know you were saying earlier too, it doesn't
matter how much money somebody has if they always feel
that they don't have enough, if they haven't changed their mindset,
then that doesn't necessarily mean that money is going to
bless them. It's not going to be something that makes
them happy. I think some people always think that more
money is going to fix whatever problem you have. That
money is like this hammer and everything's a nail, and
(41:20):
so it's always going to solve the problem at hand.
But that's that's not the case, right, that's a misperception
of what money is and what money does. Right. So
of course you know money can do wonders to some extent,
So I wrote a book about what money can do
and what money cannot do. Money cannot buy you love,
but money can do wonders to help you become a
(41:42):
more loving person. So you have to know the difference
what you can do with money and what you cannot. Otherwise,
you know you'll be more miserable because you think you
can get out with anything if you become a master
of money. But if your attitude is that like that,
people hate that, especially if you try to control people
(42:02):
over the money. So you have to teach your kids
early on how money affects people, because money, once again,
money brings your shame and guilt and frustrations, and you
have to be careful how to play with the money.
You know, even even if you have nothing, and if
you have more than you deserve, people will be jealous
(42:24):
of you about you having a rich parents or reach grandparents,
and it doesn't really matter who you are, they if
you resentment towards you. So you have to be careful
with money energy, otherwise you can make your kids and
grandkids so miserable. It's a it's a tool, right. You
can do a lot of good with money, but you
(42:45):
can also do a lot of harm. Can At the
very beginning of your book, you also say that creating
flow and happiness with money is most easily done with others,
with other people, and we totally agree. This is a
part of why we we do the podcast three times
a week. It's something that we really enjoy being each
other's Joel and are kind of each other's accountability partners
to a certain extent. What are your best suggestions to
(43:07):
help people find like minded peers, whether that be a tribe,
How to folks pursue money happiness with other people? How
can they find those people? Yeah? So, uh, I suggest
people on the way path to financial freedom. There are
so many ways. I really enjoy listening to Rachel you know,
uh the guest uh the other week, and uh, you
(43:30):
know you could you could go uh, you could climb
the mountain of uh financial independence in so many different ways,
and it's more fun if you climb with your friends.
So just become a member of some communities. And if
you want to go through real estate, have fun learning
about that. If you want to do uh, if you
(43:51):
want to start your own business, just become a part
of the community. And I'm helping so many people find
who they are. I think the best way is to
discover your gifts and share with that with other people.
I think that's the short cut to financial independence. So
find what you're good at and discover your gifts and
(44:12):
improve it and share with other people. That will bring
your money, especially happy money. So do what you love
for your heart and don't aim financial independence uh, and
don't make it a priority. Money will come after you
help other people. So just focus on on what you
(44:33):
can give to the world, and the world will respond
with happy money. Can we appreciate your message, We appreciate
your heart, and you're coming on the show to share
everything that you've learned and discovered in regards to how
we can be happier with our money over the years.
Where can our listeners find out more about the book
(44:53):
Happy Money? And you know you and what you're up to. Yes, Unfortunately,
there isn't much information and about me in English. Yeah,
so you can find all the information at Ken Honda
dot com. And I'm going to start English online salon.
I have the second largest um online salon in Japan.
We have about seven thousand people on the list, and
(45:17):
I hope I can get to share what I know
about Happy Money with English speaking people. So from now
I'm going to translate one book at a time. I
have about two books, so there's a lot to work. Wow,
you're prolific here, and of course we'll write you to
your book Happy Money as well, which which we're holding
(45:38):
right here and which has been fantastic. Thank you, thank you.
So I hope to have a chat with you in
one day in in person. Hey, that sounds great. Next
time you're in the States, come on by the studio
and we'll chat again. Yeah, thank you so much for invitation.
I really enjoyed being interview with you and have a
very deep conversation with both of you, Matt and Joy.
(46:00):
Thank you, Thank you, Ken. We appreciate it all right, Matt,
that was a great combo with Kenna. And Yeah, they
call him the happy Millionaire over in Japan, and he
just had some great tips about how to be happier
with money in our relationship with money, and I think
it's important. I think it's important. I think it's something
that we don't talk about enough. You know, you and
I we like to talk about our behavior and money,
(46:21):
but we also like to focus on the nuts and bolts.
We think there's this really both things need to be covered, right.
There's a lack of financial knowledge, but then there's also
a lack of financial e Q. It's not glad to
be able to, you know, focus a little more on
that today in this conversation. And honestly, yeah, that emotional quotient, right,
And it's not just about the intelligence, that's about how
we handle and how we manage our emotions as well
and think about and relate to it. So yeah, yeah,
(46:42):
what was your big takeaway from this conversation? Well, honestly,
just overall, like, I hope that we are able to
maybe incorporate more of the EQ side of things into
our episodes even moving forward as well. I mean, you
and I we didn't talk about this when we talked
with Ken, but even off air, we were kind of
talking about how just addressing attitudes, right, I think can
go a long ways, because it's not just about the
the literal steps that we take, but it's about the heart, uh,
(47:05):
and the attitude behind what it is that we're doing.
And so that's kind of like a very overarching kind
of meta takeaway I think from our conversation with Ken,
but specifically when he was talking about spending, he talked
about when it comes to finding happiness with our spending,
like not only should we be intentional with our money
and pay attention too if it will make us happy,
but to look to others and to see if it
(47:26):
will make them happy, which is such I feel like
that's just such a counterintuitive, kind of Western individualistic way
of looking at money. We're just looking like, is this
gonna make me happy? And how honestly we should probably
be looking to others and finding ways to try to
make them happy. Uh. It kind of ties in a
little bit there at the end he talks about finding
a tribe and finding others to kind of join you
on your personal finance journey. But instead of like it
(47:49):
being something that you gain or something that you conquer,
what he said was to be generous, uh, and find
ways to take your gifts and give them to others
and by doing that you will receive much back essentially.
And so I feel like when it comes whether it
comes to spending your money, uh, you know, finding ways
to to be generous and spending that money on other people,
or when it comes to our mental attention and who
(48:10):
we are pouring our lives into as well, both of
those are ways that we can look outside of ourselves. Uh.
And ultimately, oftentimes we're gonna see that we're gonna gain
a lot in return, even if that's not the original
intentions of our actions. Yeah, I agree, I think, uh,
focusing on others more with how we spend, and then
also just seeing the good that the money that we
spend can do. I think sometimes I spend grudging ly, uh,
(48:33):
even if it's on something good or something I love,
and so then my experience is tainted. Uh. And yeah,
that unhappy money doll exactly exactly honestly, man, this book
was was helpful in a lot of ways. And so
I think my biggest takeaway was when he said to
become best friends with money, and uh, you know you
and I were like that one. We're all about best
friendship here on the show, And yeah, I don't want
(48:53):
to have bad experiences with spending, and I don't want
to do it in a way where even the good
things I bring in the life have some sort of
negativity associated with them. Uh yeah. And it makes me
actually think about a recent episode that that we did
Matt using money stress to your advantage and kind of
taking something that's commonly perceived as negative and saying, actually,
(49:14):
there there's something good here that we can use. And
I think, Um, I don't know, this was such a
nuanced conversation, and I just appreciate all the thought that
Ken has put into helping people not to get rich, right,
but but to find happiness with how we think about money,
with how we save it, with how we spend it,
and how we earn it. Um. I think there's just
a lot to learn from there, especially you know, culturally
in the West, there's a lot we can learn from
(49:35):
from someone like Ken, who comes from an Eastern culture.
I think can hit the nail on the head to
a certain extent when he talked about capitalism is a
great system, but it's got its flaws, and I think
some of those flaws are are consumeristic tendencies and our
selfish nature. Um. That can take over to a certain extent.
So um, yeah, great conversation, a lot of food for thought.
But yeah, let's get back to the beer. Actually it
(49:57):
wasn't here today. It was a cider that the folks
at Original Sin Cider sent our way. This one's called
Black Widow Cider and it's got blackberries and freshly pressed
New York apples. Matt, we don't two siders often, but yeah,
what was your take on this one? Man? I really
enjoyed this. Uh. Yeah, cider isn't something that we often drink,
but this was a cider that I felt like had
a lot of depth. It had a lot of like backbone,
(50:18):
and it says it's got blackberries in it, but I
don't know because the can is black. It makes me
think of like cherry coke. I don't know what it is,
and I know you love you love cherry coke a
whole lot, especially straight from the fountain. You always say
that it's a different formula and you can't beat it.
It is, except for in those freestyle machines. Because I
use cartridges as opposed to the real stirrup. It's gotta
be the real stup. But I feel like I'm not
(50:42):
trying to say that this was like like a cook
of color product, but it had just that you know,
you've you've got regular coke, but then you add that
cherry coke, and all of a sudden, it's like, oh man,
this is this is way better, right Uh? And I
feel like that's what they had going on with the
side of like you've got these great you know, this
great cider base, but then you add in the case
blackberries to it, and it rivals some of the better
(51:03):
craft beers that we have on the show. I feel
like oftentimes when it comes to ciders, sometimes they can
be kind of one note and there's not a whole
lot of depth to those ciders. But man, this one
was really good. Uh. I think it's like won some
awards or something like that, and if they have then
rightly earned. If they haven't, they probably should. Yeah. No,
I agree. I I don't really drink cider, and I
think it's because I think of them as one note
(51:26):
and incredibly sweet, and I'm not into super sweet beverages
except for cherry coke. So uh, this cider was really
really tasty, and I thought it had a lot of
BlackBerry flavor going on it takes it like a mature
adult beverage and not something that I don't know, twenty
something college students would drink. So I really decider for
gen z R. This is like, this is a cider
(51:47):
for millennials. Yeah, Grandpa millennials like us. Yeah, I really,
I really enjoyed it. I thought I had. I had
thought I had some good notes and so you know what,
maybe I'll check out some more ciders in the future,
more of the stuff out. I'm glad this is one
that you and I got to share today on the episode,
but we will make sure to link to Ken's website
uh and specifically this book, which we highly recommend. I
feel like we only just barely scratched the surface of
(52:09):
all the different things that he talks about in this book,
so we'll make sure that that's up on our website
at how to money dot com. That's right. That's gonna
do it for this episode, though, So until next time,
Best Friends Out, Best Friends Out,
Hosts And Creators
Joel Larsgaard
Matthew Altmix
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