CZM Book Club: Cool Zone 2055: How to Survive (the Dino Wars)

Margaret and Mia discuss the headlines here at the start of the year 2055 during world war 3.5.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Cool Zone Media. Hello and welcome to the Cool Zone Media
book Club, your only book club that's about Dinosaur Wars
in twenty fifty five. I'm your host, Margaret Kiljoy, And
for the last little bit we've been running episodes from
cool Zone Media's future. In December, we called it cool

(00:24):
Zone Media twenty fifty four Reports from the Dino War.
But since it's thirty years in the future, it's now
twenty fifty five. War doesn't rhyme with five. That's why
we're bringing you Cool Zone twenty fifty five How to
Survive the Dinoh Wars. Anyway, here's a missive from the future. Hello,

(00:46):
and welcome to Cool Zone twenty fifty five. How to
Survive the Dinoh Wars. It's another beautiful year in the
climate apocalypse civil War. I figure for a while at least,
we'll focus on tips and tricks for how to get
through the year and how to get through the war.
Talk to frontline fighters and backline fighters and people just
trying to get through all of this. Today, though, we're
just gonna run through some headline news to give us

(01:08):
a sense of where we're at here. At the start
of twenty fifty five, it has been a busy couple
of weeks, and then we've got a special report on
Singapore and on supply chain logistics from our own Meal Wong.
So if you're sick of here and me, you should
stick around or fast forward. You can probably fast forward,
but you should stick around because I'm going to read
you the news.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Well.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
The Sierra Nevada's got their first snow of the twenty
fifties over the weekend, which gave the soldiers stationed at
Lake Tahoe some much needed diversion. You haven't seen videos
of baby dinosaurs sledding, you're missing out. The center left,
revolutionarily aligned New People's Liberation Force of Louisiana announced today
that they've taken control of Baton Rouge, driving out the

(01:51):
independent warlord Don Raptor, who had gone from the showy
proprietor of the Dino Zoo Don's Wild Pets to becoming
dictator one of the most climate ravaged parts of North America.
Don's fate is unknown at this time. This new expansion
of territory marks the first time that the NPLFL has
extended their control past the city of New Orleans, and

(02:13):
of course is likely to cause backlash from the Christian
nationalist group the Louisiana People's Force for Democracy and Freedom.
But it's still a cause for celebration. It's always a
cause for celebration when people succeed at doing good stuff,
even if there's always an inevitable backlash. The Deputy Prime
Minister of Canada, John Harold Chris James, announced today at

(02:33):
a press conference that Canada is now revoking the residency
permits of all citizens of the former United States who
were granted residency in exchange for building the wall along
its southern border. Now that the wall is ninety percent completed,
basically they're done with us. Chris James said that the
residency program, officially called the turn your backs on your

(02:54):
shitty country to join our Grade one program, was a
remnant of quote World War III and a moment of
sheer desperation by our great country, and that all Americans
should get the fuck out and fix their own country.
It was, of course a statement from the deputing Prime
Minister of Canada, because the Prime Minister of Canada, the
right wing former twitch streaming star Maximus Rome Smith, has

(03:16):
not made a public appearance in two years, and that
analysis of all publicly available material from him appears likely
to be deep fakes scripted by Chris James working with
old fashioned chat GPT style AAI, so no one knows
where Maximus is. Normally I'd say good riddance, but Chris
James not any better. The Democratic con Federalist Congress of

(03:38):
Africa celebrated their fifteenth anniversary today across the large chunks
of the continent. Fifteen years ago they were a dream
put together by a combination of Pan Africanists and internationalists.
Now they control about eighty percent of the continent in
the spirit of ethnic pluralism, cooperative economics and decision making
structures and justice systems that serve as a model to
the world. Despite living in one of the most climate

(04:00):
change ravaged continents on the planet, fighting continues against the
white nationalist forces that control South Africa and against Islamic
forces along the northeast coast of the continent. This Apetees
to Army for National Liberation celebrated sixty one years since
they walked onto the world stage with an armed uprising.
They did this celebration by holding it in Quantro, a
meeting of internationalists who have supported them all these years.

(04:23):
The Easy ln followed by the Rushavian Revolution, are seen
by many as the two most important precursors to the
modern internationalist movement, and representatives for more than six thousand
revolutionary projects attended. This year's in Quantro celebrations were marred
by a terrorist attack from right wing forces that killed
seven and wounded thirty four. And while we're at it

(04:45):
with death tolls, last week there were an estimated twenty
three thousand internationalist soldiers killed around the world. Reanimation camps
run by nationalist forces in Russia and the United States
killed an estimated forty thousand pe, most of whom were
ethnic minorities and or the disabled. It is likely that
another six thousand people were killed by heat in the

(05:07):
Southern hemisphere. As another Hellmouth summer has begun and two
hundred thousand people starve to death worldwide, we remember and
celebrate the lives of everyone who has died in this struggle.
We will fight until no one starves to death, until
no one is locked by national borders into a territory
struggling with the climate crisis, until no one is killed

(05:27):
and then reanimated as zombies by the Nazis who seek
to rule the world. Neo pop punk upstarts The Goblin
Girls announced they're going on tour with their hit second album,
Drown in Your Own Blood Nazi Scum. They promise they'll
play some other old songs for the true fans, like
they might play the ballad I'm going to jerk off
to the video of my Brontosaurus stepping on your face,

(05:49):
you Nazi Scum, or the more fast paced I Collect
your teeth, You Nazi Scum. The six piece band says
that they're dedicating the tour to the memory of the
rap Duog Club, who had announced the beginning of last
year that they Hag Club would tour all of twenty
fifty four in contested territory or until they were killed
for it, which tragically is what happened. The Goblin Girls

(06:12):
said in their press release quote, Well, we come out
of an unaffiliated anarchist militia fighting in Tennessee, so it's
not like we thought we were going to survive twenty
fifty five. Anyway, we hear at Cool Zone Media wish
them the best of luck, but it wouldn't be a
Cool Zone Media podcast of the twenty fifties if we

(06:32):
didn't shout out our most generous sponsor, Dino Cadence. You
might be thinking to yourself, didn't Dino Cadence start off
as an avant garde burlesque troup run by a bunch
of sex workers who were involved in the militant dinoh
rescue programs in the late twenty forties, And if you
did think that, you would be thinking right. Dino Cadence
is proud of its history, proud of its present, and

(06:52):
most importantly, proud of its contributions to the future of humanity.
That's right, Dino Cadence the world's most popular dinosaur riter
trainer program. Every day is Dino Day at Dino Cadence.
Though they're most famous for training soldiers for battle, they're
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(07:15):
wounded and sick Reptilian soldiers fighting for a free world,
Or do you dream of becoming a dino trainer working
with some of the smartest beasts to ever walk the earth?
Or maybe you want to become a dino therapist because
every soldier is impacted by the war, including the animals,
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(07:35):
might be right for you. Tuition is free, but positions
are limited, so apply today. This podcast is also brought
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Then join Leverage, the open source intelligence club that finds
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(07:58):
more information about Leverage, just say I would like to
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(08:20):
whether you're hunting the dead one on one in Vegas
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Speaker 2 (09:04):
Are most of the living and we're back?

Speaker 1 (09:25):
Okay, more headlines for you. The Gray Wolves, the nationalist
force that runs most of Turkey, launched a major offensive
and occur to Stan this past week, making heavy use
of their signature bioweapon zombie dire Wolves edsit Tron covered
this on the show about two years ago in more depth,
so you can go check that out if you want.
I think it's the episode called Wolves Wolves Everywhere, but basically,

(09:49):
Turkish scientists brought dire wolves back from extinction but found
them too uncontrollable and generally not violent enough because you know,
wolves only kill when they're hungry, so they began a
process of killing and reanimating the wolves. Zombie dire wolves
are slower and less capable in battle, but like all

(10:10):
reanimated dead, it is very easy to direct them to kill.
The offensive comes at an unfortunate time, as most of
the people's defense units of the area are currently fighting
elsewhere because the area was scene is pretty safe. The
attack really came out of nowhere. Civilian militias have begun
to repel the attack, but at great cost. This week

(10:32):
we also mourned the loss of Warren van Beek. You
probably haven't heard of Warren van Beek, and there's a
reason for that. For twenty years, Warren worked deep undercover
within the white nationalist movement in Johannesburg, feeding information to
anti fascists. It's thanks to Warren's work we know about
the failed Nationalist Unity Conference of twenty fifty. Garon Robert

(10:53):
did a whole week on this topic back then when
the findings came out, and it's worth going back and
listening to. But brief well, the nationalists have a pretty
major internal conflict, and internal conflict that serves us well.
There are three major factions on the nationalist side. There's
the Stalingrad Faction, the Dallas faction, and the Johannesburg faction.

(11:14):
The stalin Grad faction believes that all the nationalist forces
should be united under a single leader Russia. The Dallas
faction they believe more or less the same thing, but
think that the US should be in charge. The Johannesburg faction,
joined by hundreds of regional forces from around the world,
believes that the alliance between nationalist forces should not be unified,
but instead the global right wing should stay decentralized. It's

(11:38):
good to know that they have the same problems we do.
It was Warren von Beek who exposed this divide to
the internationalist community, at great risk to himself and the
internationalist community. Social engineers have been able to do an
awful lot of deepening that divide. This is a war
full of nameless behind the scene heroes, and now that
he's dead, we can acknowledge that Warren von Beek was

(11:59):
one of them. If it weren't for von Beek's work,
we might all right now be living under nationalist stalinist governance.
We don't yet have the full details about his death,
but it seems as though he died clutching a grenade
when fascist forces raided his house.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
I guess he'd been outed.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
Mostly he took four of those fuckers out with him.
Rest in peace, Warren. Glad you blow yourself up so
they can't reanimate your body. While we're on the subject
of right wing in fighting this time. It's bad news
about that. It's in fighting in Allian scene. The Arizonian

(12:35):
anti Pope Benedict the seventeenth announced today that his Army
of the Righteous Catholic Faith has signed a peace treaty
with the white nationalist Protestant leader John the New Baptist,
paving the way for new Catholic slash Protestant unity fighting
for a white nationalist America. This ends, or at least pauses,
three years of bloodshed between various shades of far right Christians.

(12:57):
Benedict the seventeenth and his followers were of course, formally
excommunicated from the Catholic Church ten years ago during the
Disconcordant when Benedict the seventeenth told his followers that the
Pope was the Antichrist for having supported citizen efforts to
end World War Three. In much better news, scientists have
announced that good Boy Benny is now the oldest dog

(13:18):
to have ever lived, having reached thirty years of age.
Benny was the second dog to have undergone age delayment treatments,
and the first one to be so successful. But there
are tens of thousands of beloved friends across the world
who have now lived extraordinarily long lives thanks to the
age delayment treatments. Fifteen years ago, scientists claimed by twenty
fifty five, dogs and cats will live as long as humans.

(13:41):
Of course, when they said that in twenty forty, they
didn't realize that war and climate change were about to
drop the world wide life expectancy by thirty years or so.
So dogs and humans are racing to keep up. An
anti fascist revolt in the heartland of white nationalism broke
out over New Year's unnamed anti fascist group in Knoxville,

(14:02):
Tennessee put out a press release calling their revolt the
Night of Nat Turner, and then they went on a
targeted killing spree of local nationalist bureaucrats as well as
several prominent racist figureheads. They killed a total of nine targets.
Sixteen of the rebels were killed in the attack. Well
another six have made it to Free West Virginia. And

(14:22):
that's about where we're at here at the start of
twenty fifty five, besides all the stuff that went on
in Singapore, which we have some in depth reporting from
MIA about that and about the state of the supply chain.
But first it's time for a little ad break. Don't
you think even thinking, as it's been two long since
Margaret cut to ads, what's held all this filler? I
know a lot of you all subscribed to Cooler Zone

(14:43):
media just to get the weird edited, just the ad transitions.
So you know, here's an ad transition. It's time to
stop eating house plants. The Council for Countering Houseplant Consumption
would like to remind you that most houseplants are mildly
toxic to humans and do not contain nutritional value. The

(15:04):
videos telling you pothoses a superfood were likely cooked up
in a Dallas misinformation lab. Do not eat house plants.
Are you tired of suffering from climate grief syndrome, overwhelmed
by hot summers and mass extinction? Do you want to
spend your time riding a stegosaurce through the remaining forests

(15:26):
of the world, rifle in hand, friends close by, listening
to the birds shooting clearcutters. The Earth's lungs Defense Force
might be right for you. We are looking for dedicated
environmentalists willing to stand between the lungs of the Earth
and the corporations that are trying.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
To destroy them.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
All potental applicants must pass a mandatory background check to
determine eligibility. Disqualifying factors include an inability to distinguish between
sustainable harvest and clear cutting or impulse control, or a
sentimental attachment to human life. The ELDF advocates violence and
is considered a terrorist organization by all nationals governments as
well as roughly twenty percent of internationalist governments, and even
application to the ELDF may be considered criminally punishable in

(16:05):
your jurisdiction. Joining the Earth's Lungs Defense Force has not
yet been tested in double blind studies to reduce the
symptoms of climate grief syndrome. Ask your therapist today if
joining the Earth's Lungs Defense Force is right for you.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
We turn now to a different kind of war. Update.
Much has already even said about last week's sudden collapse
of Singapore's ruling People's Action Party and the wave of
assassinations that finally broke the stalemate on the Singapore in Front.
I will leave the immediate military analysis to others, stopping
here only to note that running an entire social system

(16:57):
based on having a bunch of servants to poor co
of water free use you don't have to get up
for your couch is an extremely bad way to run
a society, both morally and logistically, and move swiftly on.
What I am interested in, however, is how Singapore became
a front to the first place, and how shifts in
global supply logistics heralded but not entirely produced by World

(17:19):
War three point five, has led us to the end
of Singapore, one of the world's most brutal settler colonies,
at the hands of internationalists and indigenous gorillas. Singapore's relative
weakness in their war against both the internationalists and their
own population has been in large part of product of
what we've been calling the devolution of the supply chain.

(17:41):
The devolution of the supply chain we've seen over the
last half decade was, of course a devolution in a
double sense. On one hand, control of the vast global
supply chains administered by massive corporations devolved down to either
networks of coordinating councils or legis six wings of state armies.

(18:02):
On the other hand, supply chains were now largely run
by dinosaurs. As we all remember well on the day
of one thousand Suez Is in twenty forty nine, when
a transwoman named Lily Baker and catch the first interview
she's done since she literally went underground in season two
of Under the Pants and Under the Ground, tasked with

(18:23):
keeping the Internet running across three quarters of the world's
cargo ships, simply walked away from her desk after being
mistreated on the job one too many times and never
came back, causing a pile up of ships in the
Suez that remains to this day. The tattered remains of
the old globe spanning supply chains collapse completely in their wake.

(18:44):
The essentialized networks of light manufacturing that had sprung up
as attempts by civilians to survive the previous World War
by producing the things they needed to survive for themselves,
revved into full gear to supply them. Vast land convoys
made of past of Cortheosaurus pulled massive carts of supplies
to areas too contested for the surviving train networks to function. Meanwhile,

(19:07):
on the high seas, after a brief foray into a
resurgence of sailboats proved unable to meet the challenge of
running ships. In the age of the Vishnu Shield, various
types of Ichiosaurus have an instrumental in moving supplies across
the oceans. The massive supply platforms they haul are of
course home to the famous pirate parties, the terradacto mounted

(19:28):
buccaneer Dino writers who played such a crucial role in
cutting fascist logistics lines across one hundred fronts. We'll be
talking about the platformists and their pirate parties on the
show in a few weeks, so stay tuned for that.
But in the meantime, it's not just pirate activities that
we can Singapore's defenses. Chinese d industrialization is of course
an old phenomena, dating back to the nearly prehistoric twenty tens,

(19:52):
when I was still a breadad young lass, still wearing
men's clothing and posting.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
In text on the original tow.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
But it was in the Rush belts of Shenzhen, eviscerated
by decades of a paradoxical combination of trade wars and
offshoring that intensified the movement of capital down the Mekong
Delta and into the Chinese interior of previous eras that
the Third Chinese Civil War began, and it was the
devolution of the supply chain that finally ended once and

(20:21):
for all China's role as what early twentieth century writer
Andrea's mom called the smoke stacks of the world. But
what does all this have to do with Singapore. Some
of you already know that Dino writers from the either
optimistically or nihilistically named Final Shanghai Commune, the successor to
the Second and Third Shanghai Communes of the twenty thirties
and twenty forties, were instrumental in cutting off fascist reinforcements

(20:44):
from Beijing. But the most extensive damage inflicted on Singapore
by the devolution of the supply chain was economic. Singapore's
role as a financial clearinghouse for capital in the Pacific
RIM was already being made obsolete by the shift of
capital away from the old Chinese and more modern Vietnamese
rouss belts even before the old supply chains collapsed completely.

(21:05):
But as they disappeared, much of Singapore's economy went with it.
When Neo Neom City, the first city That's a perfect circle,
sink beneath the waves two years ago, it took most
of Singapore's capital reserves beneath the waves with it, Now
fatally weakened to besieged by internationalist forces, All it took
was some clever weapons smuggling and the rage of an

(21:27):
indigenous population forced to endure the endless cruelty of the
Chinese Singaporean settlers to topple the People's Action Parties one
party state. To everyone on the front lines, we can
for the first time declare today Singapore, tomorrow the world.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
And that's where we stand. It's a bright, bold new year.
I can't claim in all good conscience that it's going
to be better than last year. It'll probably be worse.
Most years are going to be worse.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
Whatever.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
You're old enough to know this. Every year is worse
than the year before because of the climate apocalypse and
encroaching fascism. But there are still so many beautiful things
that we accomplish, and there's such beautiful lives that we
can lead. Our lives that are shorter, any less valuable.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
No, not at all.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
A life is a life is a life. So we're
going to live our best ones. Here at cool Zone Media.
We're always here to remind you that, and we're also
here to remind you don't eat your houseplants.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
It could happen here as a production of cool Zone Media.
For more podcasts, from cool zone Media.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Visit our website cool zonemedia dot com, or check us
out on the Iheard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to podcasts, you can find sources for It
could happen here, Updated monthly at coolzonemedia dot com slash sources.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
Thanks for listening.