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May 23, 2019 31 mins

Have you written to the guys lately? All of their best topic suggestions come from you and your fellow listeners -- tune in as Ben, Noel and Casey take some of their favorite listener suggestions to the air in this episode of Listener Mail.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous History is a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome

(00:27):
to the show, Ridiculous Historians. We often point out that
the best part of this show, despite our three winning personalities,
is you and your fellow listeners. Today we are putting
our money where our collective mouth is. With a little
bit of listener mail. Hi, I'm ben, I am knowing
my mouth is is on my face. But when we

(00:48):
when our with our mouths combined, we become a collective
mouthpiece that is broadcast throughout the Internet. It's kind of
what podcasting is right in many ways. Yeah, Uh, where
would our mouths be without our superproducer, Casey Pegram. Uh,
you know, out of context that sounds weird, but I
supported I was going to say without the mouth of

(01:08):
our superproducer, Casey Pegram, because he is part of our
mouth trifector head. Yes, yes, he is part of the
collective mouth Thanks for thanks for coming on this show today, Casey.
You know one thing that I don't know if everybody
is aware of, is that when we get emails or
when we get tweets or Facebook comments and posts, all

(01:29):
three of us get these, so we're all we're all collected.
So if you if you say something. If you say
something sideways about one of us, the other two know,
and we'll come at you. We will, we come at you.
We're quite protective, the full force of all three of
our mouth because I'm just gonna keep this mouth thing going. Sure,
we receive a lot of We receive a lot of insightful, brilliant,

(01:53):
well written and at times hilarious email, and every so
often we reached the where we say this is too
good not to share with everyone else. So this is
a little bit of a grab bag episode. We're going
to explore some of the fascinating correspondence we've received. Spoiler alert,

(02:14):
we won't get to all of it. But if you
have sent us an email, uh, gird yourself, my friends,
because you may be making an appearance on air. Also,
if you want to send us an email now that
you know they go on the air sometimes, uh, feel
free to chime in. Our email address is ridiculous at
I heart radio dot com. Yeah, it's true, So hold

(02:34):
onto your mouth holes because things are about to get ridiculous.
And that's what we do here. It's in the name
of the show where we're literally it's in our contract.
We have to have a certain percentage of ridiculousness in
each episode or we get pay cuts. We also have
to have you know, historically we have been a ridiculous show.
I wonder how long we we have to be on

(02:55):
the air before we start referring to stuff about our
show in that historical sense. Have we been on a year?
Has it been a year? It's been more than a year.
It's been more than a year. Casey on the Case said,
can you give us the exact number? Case you can
give us the date of episode one, episode zero, because
you love being put on the spot. Yeah, this this

(03:16):
would be the one time I don't have my laptop open,
so I can't just pop over to the master meta document.
Peek behind the curtain. We have a master meta document.
I got it. So we're we're coming up on two years.
We have the date of our very first full episode.
It's not a trailer or anything. When we made all
those wild ambitious promises. Uh, the date entitle of our
first episode was why do British lawyers wear wigs on October?

(03:50):
Was it? Was it me? Or was that sort of
that drum roll? We're out, It's welcome a little bit.
It's a long one. I found this old thing from
stuff you should know days, uh sound machine, a handheld
sound machine called soundbites. Uh. It has things like car crash,
charge whistle. But as you can tell, they're all a

(04:11):
little bit too long. Do you feel that too. They're
a little too long, and it feels like the batteries
and that thing haven't been changed since like the late nineties,
so they're starting to take on that kind of bit
crushed quality, which I sort of like. I enjoy that. Yeah.
One thing that was interesting about this Noal is that, uh,
this speaks to the positivity of our crew. The applause
button no longer works because we were always hitting it

(04:33):
for each other. I know, I know. I walked in
on one of our producers for a different show and
made this big to do about how it's going to
applaud him, and it was just nope, there it is.
It came back. It came back the show. It doesn't
even sound like applause anymore, does it. Well, we are

(04:54):
applauding you everyone who wrote in. We've got some stuff
that made all three of us chuckle, laugh out loud,
and most importantly taught us some things we didn't know before. Right, okay.
Our first one comes from Kimberly m Um. She says, Hi, guys,
I'm a big fan and came across the topic recently
that I am dying to hear you discuss trial by ordeal.

(05:18):
It's the practice of proving one's innocence of an accused
crime by participating in a dangerous or painful task and
either avoiding injury altogether, which would be credited to some
sort of deity, or to heal well from injuries incurred. Uh.
These trials occurred across the world, ranging from burning to boiling,
to drowning to poisoning. The list goes on. Really boggles

(05:39):
the mind one would have to submit to torture to
keep one's good name. I'd love to hear your thoughts
on this. Uh And boy, oh boy, do we have
some thoughts on this. The thing is this maybe could
be an episode into itself, but I don't know. I
like I like doing these in little nugget sized ones,
and this one might be a little too heavy as
a whole episode. So why don't we go into a
little bit about try out by ordeal? Yeah, it's very true.

(06:03):
Trial by ordeal um for about four hundred years in
the early thirteenth century, actually between the ninth and thirteenth
century in Europe, during very particularly vexing cases that were
lacking in any kind of evidence. Um, these these systems
decided that it would be a good idea to put
it in the hands of God. What better way to

(06:23):
do that than to expose a defendant um to you know,
the tortures of the damned, everything from you know, waterboarding
type things, being dunked in pools of holy water, or
to walk across burning uh coals that would be the
ordeal of having boiling water poured on you or being

(06:45):
burned by a brand um in. In certain cases, they
were even uh examples of folks being plunged into cauldrons
uh in order to fish out some sort of like
drink it kind of like bobbing for apples only in
boiling water and using your hands out of your face
because I'd probably kill you instantly. Yeah, it's it's fascinating
because there's a great article on mental flaws as well

(07:08):
about trial by ordeal. And what's interesting about what you're
saying regarding trial boy by ordeal in Europe in the
thirteenth century is that it was forbidden by Pope Innocent
the Third in twelve fifteen, but it was already so
prevalent that people people kept practicing it. It even came

(07:29):
to colonial America. It's uh process found in India, Southeast Asia,
different parts of Africa. It's in the Rama Yana, the
Old Testament. Uh. And and also this is this is interesting.
I like what you said about the different types or
different genres, because let's you already mentioned some of the hesitates,
call them greatest hits, but some of the more common ones.

(07:51):
Trial by hot iron water hot water, Uh, there's there.
There are a couple that I thought you would find
really fascinating is trial by host. And this occurred in
Christian communities. The priest would go before an alter pray
aloud that God would choke the accused if they weren't
telling the truth, and then they would feed the host

(08:13):
the Holy Eucharist to the accused, and if they were
guilty of lyne or guilty of the crime, they would
choke on the thing or had difficulty swallowing it. This
was one of the easiest trial by ordeals. There was
another one called the trial by ordeal being uh the
bean b E A N yeah, a calibar bean. So

(08:36):
someone would be accused of witchcraft and then they would
have to eat these beans. If they threw the beans up,
they were innocent, and if they digested them, they were guilty.
But the problem is that most of the people who
digested the beans were killed by the effects because the
being contained something called physio stigman, which was similar to
the effect of nerve gases that might have been used

(08:58):
in war. So you would die of asphyxiation. That's tough, man,
that's not That's not a good way to go out.
But you were telling me off air Noal that there
are some people arguing trial by ordeal actually function, right,
I actually worked. It wasn't a kangaroo court. Well, I mean,
it's certainly historical retrospect was something of a kangaroo corp

(09:19):
because it was judged by members of the clergy priests
during parts of these special masses uh and during these
ceremonies um, the priest or the judge would ask God
to show the court the guilt or innocence of the defendant,
uh in order. And the thing about it is like, yes,

(09:40):
it's a kangaroo corp because it's basically just torturing them
and punishing them openly, and then you know, hopefully they
won't die or they you know, limp away, just just
alive enough to be be considered yielled free. Right, Yeah, yeah,
as long as there is justice in the universe. You know,

(10:06):
one thing, it was interesting, It also seemed trial by
ordeal apparently may not have gone away completely. We mentioned
that ordeal being right, there's another thing very similar in Madagascar,
trial by a tagina tree or cerebra odalum. It has
the nut of this tree has something called serberin in it,

(10:28):
which is related to a toxin found in fox glove,
and this can cause the heart to stop beating. It
was used in Madagascar against people accused of witchcraft for
like five hundred years, and in the eighteen hundreds it
was responsible for over two percent of the deaths in
the country every year. It was banned in eighteen sixty one,

(10:50):
but it's still used in cases of homicide and suicide
in Madagascar, and the trial by ordeal using the nut
of this tree continue in remote areas of Madagascar today.
We could do it, we could do a two part
episode on this, you think so well, as long as
we don't have to subject ourselves to trial by ordeal?

(11:10):
Is it too late? Can we still do it? Or
is this too many spoilers to it to to allow?
I think we can still do it. There's a lot here,
and hey, maybe maybe that will be our trial by ordeal?
How meta is that? I'm down for it? Then, you know.
It's really reminds me of but I think it has
come up in some way before. I can't remember. We
talked about a lot of random stuff, but the feats
of strength in festivals, you know in the Seinfeld show.

(11:31):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like that, only
much more mean spirited and much more likely to to
kill you as opposed to just like a little bit
of a weird flex right. Oh man? Uh speaking of
weird flexes, we recently heard from a listener that we
will refer to as Wayne because that is his name,

(11:54):
not exactly a pseudonym here. Uh so, Wayne, you wrote
to us and said, hey, guys, does this email address
still work? We said, yes, this is us, and then
we opened the floodgates. Wayne has been going episode by
episode and answering those questions that we pose at the

(12:18):
end of each episode. So we're not going to read
all of these, but we'll read a couple of choice ones.
All right, so does a follow up email from Wayne
called another ten episodes down. Wayne says, I think ten
at a time is good. I don't want you to
be overwhelmed with the nonsense that I wrote. As always
be advised, I write these from my phone. So something

(12:40):
doesn't make sense. It's probably because I'm poor proofreading. Let's
get to it. Number one, Meet Jello. No, I'm not sure.
I'm happy with the knowledge of this food's existence. However,
I never knew jello was used to store foods in
the past. That was interesting. So the episode wasn't horrible.
I did learn something not gross, No question, this episode
just a request to send in more gross recipes which

(13:02):
I don't have. In parentheses, he says, I don't cook.
And here's here's an interesting one. Check this out and well,
he says, vitamin donuts. You remember that one, vitamin donuts.
This episode sparked a lot of commentary by me, so
hold on. The episode reminded me of the time I
brought my friend taco bell when he was sick, and
I called it vitamin taco. I'm unsure if it helped

(13:25):
his condition, but it was a good excuse to get
Taco Bell. We get it, Wayne. You guys also mentioned
In and Out Burger, But as an East Coast resident,
I don't often get to enjoy in and Out Burger,
but when I do, I absolutely love it. I'll have
to agree with no whole suggestion of a double double
animal style, but I generally get two of them because
I'm a monster and I can't be sated with just one.
You guys actually bring up Taco Bell, which reminded me

(13:47):
of the time I made a taco sandwich. We didn't
bring up Taco Bell. We did it. We would never
have brought up taco at some point, I need to Yeah,
let's see, let's see the evidence. Let's go back to
the primary source. I want to point out that Taco
Bell deserves a metal for all the strange things they've

(14:09):
tried over the years. There was, most notably, I remember
the Taco Bell seafood salad, which just sounds like a
terrible idea. Any notion of seafood from a fast food
restaurant typically is a red flag for me. All right,
so it is, what's a taco sandwich? Wayne says, I'm
glad you asked. Taco is a sandwich dog It's uh,

(14:30):
it's it's too well as a wrap a sandwich. Different
show is it's it's two crunch wrap supremes, one five
layer burrito, two crunchy taco supremes, one sided nachos with cheese,
your favorite hot sauce from Taco Bell to taste. The
crunch trap supremes make up the bread of the sandwich.
Those stay intact open the five layer burritos scraped the
contents into the top of one of the v crunch

(14:50):
trap supremes. This is why I consider the condiments. You
take your two crunchy Taco supremes and mash them up
into a taco salad like condition. That's the meteor sandwich,
and you had the notcher cheese and the hot sauce.
I don't suggest this if you're on a diet or
if you're a normal human person. Question what is my
favorite failed food craze? I'm not sure I had a favorite,
but once I heard of this cookie that was advertised

(15:12):
as such, if you eat this cookie, you will lose
weight because your body burns more calories than the cookie has.
This was proven false of course, but it really made
me wish of food like this was real. I, you know,
dared to dream. I might try out the sandwich. I
might follow Wayne's instructions here. You don't think you dropped
dead instilling. I think it would take me a while.
You know, it would be a trial by ordeal. There

(15:32):
you go. See, Look how we tie that together. We
brought it back. Thanks so much for writing. Wayne. Although
we're not reading the entirety of these emails on air,
we gotta say I appreciate your dedication and look forward
to reading more, as do I and I think we'll
do just that with one from LaVar j And this
comes as something of a correction, I guess or I

(15:53):
don't know. Let's let's let's decide what we think it is,
um afternoon. I've developed I love his preamble here, it's
really nice before he gets to the meat of it.
I have developed a deep affinity to your podcast and
listen intently for the two plus hours of commuting time
I have to and from the office daily. Enjoy hearing
you both discussed I had in both an interest to me,
my wife and our five year old son. Though sometimes
he wishes we listened to kids bop instead. Boy, do

(16:14):
I understand where you're coming. We're listening to kids about
before and after this show. I have always one earbud
in with kids bob blasting at all times. It just
kind of grounds me endearing it is. I'm in the
process of starting from the beginning and listening to all
of the previously produced podcasts. These are just as entertaining
now to the purpose of the email. I've heard you
both use the phrase young bucks when describing young soldiers

(16:38):
or young gentleman. It isn't well known, but something I
feel important to bring to your attention. The term young
buck is quite a historically racist phrase that stems from
plantation owners and slavery supporters referring to young black males
as young bucks. I myself wasn't brought into the knowledge
of its etymology until I was a young adult and
discovered the history on this and other terms while completing

(16:59):
my EEG a minor in Black studies. Growing up in Virginia,
there were some in your face instances of racism and profiling,
and some less subtle methods like the use of that phrase.
I know you both are socially conscious and speak truth
to power and hope you can acknowledge its existence and
history to your audience. Don't know, maybe a future episode
can come about to understanding where racist phrases and names

(17:22):
are derived and why they are used today may provide
an opportunity to educate your fans where and why words
and phrases may seem innocent but tend to come from
a pretty checkered past. And then he links us to
a site called men Without Pants Masculinity and the enslaved
by Carrie Lee Merit from a website called Black Perspectives

(17:44):
a A I H. S dot org. And it, indeed,
does this word have quite a checkered past, And it
was sort of a very demeaning term buck in particular
of kind of du nizing black slaves and treating them
like cattle and property and calling them, you know, but

(18:06):
also being able to admire them as some sort of
specimen that could do a lot of work, or that
was something to remark upon because of its strength and virility,
but completely robbing them of any semblance of humanity and
personality and dare I say a soul. Well, this sort
of this sort of mothering is unfortunately incredibly common throughout history,

(18:28):
and I immensely appreciate this email because it's weird that
so many words and phrases we use, especially in UH
in a language like English, do have these um horrific
secrets in their etymology. Buck itself is the is the

(18:50):
pivotal phrase here because there would also be other modifiers
that were added in front of that word. We can
guarantee you that uh, It's safe to say the majority
of people our age are not in general aware of this.
This phrase is past as a pejorative. Furthermore, it made

(19:14):
me think of other things wherein the phrase buck is used,
Like most people will use the phrase bucks to describe
dollars or a dollar bill in the US as a buck,
But what about the phrase buck naked? You will hear
people argue that this conjures up stereotypical images of naked

(19:35):
people forced to labor under the conditions of chattel slavery.
So I think it's an excellent point that we should
be mindful of the past of the words we use,
and we should always welcome an opportunity to learn more
about them, which is why I'm I'm a huge fan
of entomology. I never send I am too and I

(19:55):
could I swear that I always associated that term as
we've used it as sort of like an old timey
thing that like, uh, you know, a man in a
fine suit would say referring to uh, you know, a
young upstart, like like he said in an email, a soldier,
like some kind of young man you know. Um, But
you learn something new every day, and it's certainly never
our intention to say anything that's charged in any way, um,

(20:17):
other than with ridiculousness, right right, the goal of the show.
And thank you, thank you for writing in all right.
Our next, Our next correspondence comes from Mike T. Mike
T says gentleman thumbs up for the squirreld War episode.

(20:40):
A few members of the family have issues with squirrels,
so they will definitely enjoy this story. Speaking of pest,
you like this pivot here Speaking in pest. My parents
neighborhood here in Houston is diligently on the lookout for
brown Herron's. My mom spends time in the backyard daily
figuring out ways to scare away these birds so that
they don't ston trees. Our neighborhood even has a special

(21:02):
heroine watch with a hotline. Why you may ask I love.
I love when people put these questions in here. Last spring,
for some unknown ecological reason, plethora of these birds set
their sights on the neighborhood. Points to you for using
plethora correctly. Mike. By the way, one tree near my
parents home ended up housing more than fifty nest According

(21:23):
to my mom, that particular tree had been cut down
due to the damage that that many birds were able
to inflict. Also, the residence of the house by the
tree had to move out for an extended period of
time because one, there was so much poop that they
were getting physically sick, and two they could not sleep
because of all the noise. As best I can tell,
the key to success is frightening the bird's way before

(21:44):
they nest, because once they lay eggs, legally nothing can
be done to them. Anyway, My mom is in her
backyard banging pots and pants and looking into investing in
a super soaker, water gun the last word and water guns.
By the way, her neighbors considering using helium balloons to
act as scarecrows. Talk about Alfred Hitchcock meets Stephen King
meets Monty Python. Thanks Mike, invasive species, it's a real thing.

(22:10):
I want to hear more invasive species stories. Uh, and no,
I think you in particular would be pretty distressed if
you walked into your backyard and saw a fifty of
the same kind of bird. Kidding me, it's my personal Hell,
I don't know what I would do. It would be
my trial. You know what my trial would be. It
would be to walk barefoot through a flock of geese.

(22:35):
I don't know if you would. I think you do it.
If you had to do it, and to know it
have to be nude, that would be That would be
what would up it, you know, because they would have
to They would be pecking at my bare legs, which
are very pale because I don't really let my skin
be exposed to the sun very often, so very tender. Uh.
They would be plucking at my leg hair. I know
this image is not something you signed up for in

(22:55):
this podcast, but there you have it. So take that
and do with it what you will. I don't know, man,
I wear a breach of some kind, some sort of
cod peace. Yeah. Yeah, Like, don't do a loincloth because
they can still get at the bottom. Then they'll snatch
the loincloth, right, Yeah, then look at me. You gotta
protect your little Australia. Man. Man, it's a medium Australia test. Wow,

(23:17):
I've just been as I'm in the habit of referring
to everybody's personal down Under as their little Australia. But
I love all animals, I love birds and even I
would not stroll through a group of them nude. That's
just asking for uh trouble. How would you know if
I had come through the trial unscathed, if my sanity

(23:39):
wasn't completely just gone, if I could still stand up
right after going through this herd well trial by ordeal
was overwhelmingly uh an unfair thing in most situations. So
you're barrier for passing, And again I'm not making these decisions.
Your barrier for passing will probably be something like walking

(24:00):
through unscathed unscathed, So that could that would be up
to the judges. So if they said, look a goose
bit him, he is a child of the devil. Could I,
if I did make it through unscathed, could I get
a badass medieval nickname like Noel Brown the Unpacked? I
think I think it's worth considering. But thank you so

(24:21):
much Mike for writing in keep us keep us informed,
keep us abreast of this heroin problem which I had
I had no knowledge of. And if you are listening
and you are in a situation similar to that of
Mike's mom and her neighbors, let us know which species
are invading your part of town. Uh. The more ridiculous,

(24:43):
the better agreed. Um. I have one here that's a
nice combo letter because it's part story, part personal salutation,
and part correction. And I think we need to be
taken a task for our mispronunciations and crimes against humanity
when it comes to history. Um, this one is about
Morse Code, says. I'm catching back up on the most

(25:04):
recent episodes. While listening to the tragic origin story of
Morse Code, I wanted to share a fun fact with you.
The longest document ever transmitted was the Nevada State Constitution.
It's at at sixteen thousand, five hundred and forty three words.
It was sent in Morse code via telegraph from Carson
City to Salt Lake City to Chicago to Philadelphia, Washington,
d C. It took the initial operator seven hours to

(25:26):
send that one dred and seventy five page document. As
I have just copied, and this is me talking, not
the letter. I've just copied and pasted quite a bit
of text from one place to another. Uh, and it
took me seconds. I feel the I feel the pain
here that just the idea of that taking so long.
But at the same time, then the results seemed much
more earned than they do today, So I appreciate that

(25:46):
the letter goes on the reason that they sent it
this way and not by the pony express or train.
I was wondering that was because Lincoln was up for reelection.
He needed more votes, and he desperately needed another state
to tip the election in his favor. Nevada was central
to the Gold and Silver rushes, but they did not
have the minimum number of residents to become a state

(26:06):
at forty thousand, needed sixty. But Lincoln pushed it through
just the same. They were granted statehood in October thirty one.
Every year, the last Friday in October is Nevada Day,
and all the schools are out and most of the
businesses are closed. There's always a huge celebration. It sounds
like something Texas would do, but we Nevadas are proud.

(26:27):
Oh then he's about to go into the correction, and
I think I've been saying it wrong the whole email.
Let's see Nevada. I don't know, let's see bend. So
a little correction. You all have been mispronouncing Nevada. I'm
gonna keep doing it. You have been saying Nevada, but
it's really Nevada. Wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense.

(26:50):
What did he capitalize? He just put the emphasis on
the da instead of the va. What. I don't think
that's right. You know, maybe it's not our place to say,
but English is a living language, as I as I
always like to point out. Wait a minute, no, no, no, no,
he puts an h on the mispronunciation, so that would
be nevada, but it's really nevad. Yeah, yeah, that's just

(27:13):
the capitalization moving around is a little through me for
a minute. But yes, that's very true. So we're gonna say.
I'm gonna say, I'm gonna commit to saying nevad duh,
but I'm gonna really pronounced that duh hard because that's
what you said to do. Cammy also gives me a
nice pronunciation key for the name cam dash E. I
look forward to your episode on Nevada Nevada. I'm gonna

(27:35):
make go even more cartoon. Nevada Navada. When you say
like Vada, it sounds like some sort of like Lord
of the Rings incantation or something good. I like Niveada
because it feels like someone's about to play a banjo
for also true, also true. There are so many fun
and little interesting things that make up our state's history,

(27:58):
and we're overdue. We are overdue for a state by
a new state centric episode. That old chestnut, that old chestnut.
We can't stop now, or we shouldn't stop because it's
it's an easy way for us to find episode. Just
look at stuff that happened in states. Let's do that.
That's what we're gonna do. UH. So we knew going

(28:19):
into this we wouldn't have time to read every email
out on the air. But we love doing these episodes
and we are going to do more in the future.
We hope that as you were listening along UH, you
were inspired to write to us UH, to send us
a paying We can't wait to hear from you. You
can take a page from your fellow listeners and write

(28:41):
to us at Ridiculous at I heart radio dot com.
You can also find us on the internet we're like
all over the place. Yeah, we are on the twitters
or on the instagrams. I think we're ridiculous history on
both of those. If you want to get a peek
behind the curtain into our individual human existences, We're not
just always sitting in the sweaty shipping container talking to microphones.
You can check me out at Embryonic Insider on Instagram.

(29:02):
You can also find me on Instagram. I am at
ben Bolan. I just posted uh usually it's getting kicked
done and kicked out of There are different cities, countries, towns,
and townships. But you can see me hanging with my
mom recently, and you can also see some clips from
my improwd shows. What about villages. Villages are surprisingly um

(29:27):
yeah for the first for the first day or so,
but once once evening hits in rail, well it's no
comments and feathered, I have not been tard North feather
looks like a real that would be a real ordeal.
He's painful, you know. Walt Whitman was hard and feathers. Okay,
this is just one small historical fact. Uh So, Walt Whitman,

(29:49):
before he became a a much lauded American poet, he
was a school teacher. I believe in upstate New York
someone wouldn't check me on that. UH, and he got
in trouble for UH. Accusations are allegations that he was
being inappropriate with students and he was tarred and feathered.

(30:12):
Has he proven to be innocent? Because I don't think
i've heard this about he was not proven to be innocent.
I learned about this when I canceled a whitman class
in UH college. Can I am not allow to read
leaves of Grass anymore? It's a shame. I think leaves
of Grass is amazing. And what the last part of
leaves of dress to be read at my funeral? Okay,

(30:33):
I can do that pretty Benefit'm invited. Oh yeah, I
meant to tell you. I'm sorry, it's a big production.
I already have. The guest list is full, and surely
I've earned my way into your funeral guest list. I'm
sure there will be a reception at the end. We're
going to do it like a wedding. Just go to
the receptions. Invite me to the next one, to the
next funeral. Sounds good? And hey, you guys are invited
to the next episode of ridiculous history. We'll see you then.

(31:02):
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