A Conversation with Lora DiCarlo

The founder of Lora DiCarlo joins Anney and Samantha to discuss the Osé, CES controversy, and female pleasure.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, this is Annie and welcome to Stuff. I've never
told you a production of I Heart Radio's How Stuff Works.
Before we get into our topic today, which is an
interview we're very excited about. I'm so excited we did.

(00:26):
Just want to say this episode may not be suitable
for younger listeners. UM, so I would recommend listening to it,
um listeners. You may remember a couple of months ago,
we did a classic episode with an updated intro about
oh Say, and I also guessed on the podcast tech
Stuff to talk about that, and we thought that, uh,

(00:47):
we would we would get someone who knew a little
bit better, someone who actually knows a lot about it. Yes,
so we have with us Laura Haddock, founder and CEO
of Laura de Carlo. Hey, Laura, thank you so much
for joining us. Hi, it's really awesome to be here. Yeah,
we're so glad to have you. UM. Can you tell us, Uh,

(01:09):
let's start with some basics, some basics first about yourself
and then about oh say, the products that we're discussing today. UM. Okay, Well,
like I said, my name is Laura Haddock. UM, I'm
the founder and CEO at Laura to Carlo. UM. Just
for those of you that don't know, De Carlo is
actually a family name, so that's why gets a little confusing. Um.

(01:32):
And my background is actually in healthcare. I spent over
a decade in healthcare. I was I went into the
Navy as a nurse. UM. I ended up uh coming
out of an honorable distris to take care of my mother.
But I ended up back in uh uh studying premed
in Portland and kind of had an epiphany when I

(01:52):
had an ariasm and literally done myself, laying on the floor,
flopped off the side of the bed, staring at the
feeling like a totally idiot, just going how do I
do that again? So I remember laying there just thinking
like that was amazing, And then I looked at, you know,

(02:15):
this partner that had helped me get there, and I
was just like, okay, yeah, how do I do that again?
Buying myself? So, UM, what I what I ended up
doing was actually I have an obsession with anatomy and physiology,
you know, being in the career on the career track
that I was at the time. UM, and I started

(02:36):
really diving into the physiology of work asms, of arogynous
physiology and how particularly how female parts work, and I
wanted to find out, like, how can I do this again? Um?
And I it came to be that there's no product
on the market that actually delivers what I was after

(02:56):
that that was a blended orgasm, and a blended or
gasm is when you stimulate both the clitters or the
little the glands. Clutter is actually the part that you
that you do see that we're familiar with the little
man in the boat um and then the ge spot um.
But what most people don't know is that that's all
a part of the same rogenous physiology. But the clitter

(03:19):
is the glands clitters, and then there's actually wings and
bulbs in all sorts of really neat the theology that
that branches out beneath the external anatomy of the bolda,
just underneath the lady of manora and the lady of majora.
And then there's a coalescence of nerves that bundles right

(03:42):
on the anterior wall of the vaginal canal, so the
front side of the inside of your the vaginal canal.
So what we're doing what I when you you get
this gladia to orgasm and you're stimulating literally the whole
cutters from the outside all the way to the inside.
And it's not easy to do it's um, It's basically

(04:04):
the only way you can do it right now is
if you have to really specific toys, um, and some
really acute knowledge about your own physiology and how to
get there, or you have a really talented partner, a
really talented partner, and of those are easy to come by.
It was like, listen is ridiculous. There should be something

(04:26):
that that works like for me, not just for me.
So I started thinking, like, how do I create something
that that that does this and and what are the
problems that I would have solved? And there were three
big problems that I saw immediately. Um. The first was
I had toys. I have a treasure of toys, right
and and there's a bunch of stuff in my little

(04:48):
treasure chest that don't it doesn't hit me. So I
wanted to create something that fits a multitude of people.
And the only way you can do that is if
you collect data. I look for the data. I look
for spizes. I looked for all of this this data
around a rogenism, and it doesn't exist. Um, because we

(05:09):
don't talk about female sexuality, we don't talk about female
pleasure because we would prefer to demonize it. Um so,
and I remember looking through old anatomy physiology books when
I was in school and just going, that's school weird.
Like they talk about like how a man can you know,
get hard, They talk about, you know, the blood flow,

(05:30):
they talk about the innervation, they talk about um, you
know how they how they orgasm, And then when you
flip the page and you look at the female side,
they talk about how make babies and um and you
know what bad things can happen you're uterus, and I'm
just like this not cool. So, so I wanted something

(05:51):
that could fit both, like anybody. So I actually had
to go ask people where's your clear is? How big
is your clear is? Where your G spot in relation
to your vaginal canal? Like all of these are really
kind of hilariously awkward questions. But when you ask somebody,
they just kind of look at your little crossed and
you go, this is why. And then when you explain
to them that I'm you know, I want to see

(06:12):
if there's like a trend in this status so I
can design something, then they get really excited and people
just are like, here, how do I do that. How
do I measure this for? You think when you're done
with this, can I test it. I'm not gonna lie.
I've been discussing like how do we get one of
these right? And I was like at that point, I'm like, well,

(06:34):
I'm just like I'm just trying to dig up data
right now. But you know, this was about two and
a half years ago, but I ended up with over
two hundred data points UM and I started seeing a
trend in that data. The other two things that I
wanted to address. The other two problems I wanted to
address were UM. I wanted to eliminate the use of

(06:55):
vibration in this product because I wanted to do that
in favor of Biomme the Great or UM what's more
commonly known as the mimicry of human motion. So I
wanted it to feel and wanted somebody to have the
experience of being with a human partner and towards feel
like a human partner. And the last thing I wanted

(07:17):
absolutely was for it can be completely hands free. And
the reason for that is because as as females or
people with vaginas, we have the tendency to really be
in a very emotional, very psychological state. UM, if we're
going to orgas them, you have to really be able
to concentrate almost like a point is like like being

(07:37):
able to meditate or be really into what you're doing.
And I find that if you want to reach that state,
you you can't have anything in your hands, Like you
have to like totally like let go of your whole body.
And let's like to be honest, like having something hands free.
It's just way more fun anyway. So and so, UM,

(08:00):
let's with all this data and I started creating this
design in my head and UM. I ended up sitting
across the table um after getting a couple of recommendations
with a professor of mechanical engineering UM at Organ State University.
And organ State University happens to be the top for

(08:20):
robotic school graduate program in the country. And I did.
I didn't tell him like what we were going to
talk about before I got there. I just showed up
and I was like okay, so and he was like okay, right,
and we're like, so orgasm and I want to make
an orgasm thing and he's like um uh. And I

(08:42):
was like, but here's how I want to do it.
And I literally split across a document that had over
fifty two functional engineering spects in order to engineer this product,
and he actually lit up. UM. His name is Dr
John Parmigiani, and he could smolutely lit up and he's like, oh,
engineering things, I can do this cool. This is a

(09:04):
neat problem. We should solve this problem. And I was like,
you're damn it, we should. So we actually, UM, I
had just founded the company. I founded the company in
October seventeen, so UM coming up on two years now,
I guess, and UH we started an industry funded research
project with Oregon State UM that we still have going,

(09:28):
which is awesome and hilarious. So we ended up with
a whole bunch of students mechanical engineering students in that
specialized in robotics and UH and electrical engineering students and
other pH ds that were like, wait, what are you doing?
I would a student on this meeting and UH. We
worked on that for that six months until we had

(09:49):
present concepts, and then we started working towards that prototype.
And at that point I started hiring some of these
students on the first was actually Dr eight Agot Shorts,
who UM was finishing her PhD at the time and
came on with me as soon as she finished her dissertation,
she came on full time and UM she specializes and

(10:11):
as an expert in AI and robotics and UM today
we have for coming up probably in August, will have
nineteen folks on the payroll as of August, and our
our director of Engineering is UM. Her name is Kim

(10:31):
Porter and she's been a veteran in mechanical engineering for
nearly thirty years now and she's done, She's worked with startups,
she's brought products UM all the way to fruition in
onto uh into the market and UH that's what she's
helping us do right now. And on our sales and
marketing team, I've got some of like the most amazing

(10:54):
folks in the business UM one with Sara Sara Brands
and we actually brought over from Lalow competitor UM early on.
And UH we always jerked that I had Hunter kind
of pretty much you gave her no, no, no auction,
no other choice. I was like, you know, you're coming
on here, whatever you need, just please come and work
with us. So UM our team is definitely we're growing

(11:18):
really fast. But what has really helped us to grow
this fast is we have a very stringent that of
core values that that really dictates the guides our culture.
And we have a very inclusive culture. But our values
are respect, empowerment, and integrity and to us, that creates
a very inclusive culture. And we only hire folks that

(11:41):
are a very good skill and psychological and personality fit. Um,
that get the message, that get the mission, and our
mission is rooted in gender equity. Um, We're we're not
just here to make sex toys. We're here to change
the game. We're here to change the face of business
and change the face of technology. And see that half

(12:02):
that face is um, women, people of in in minority
folks and people of coloring and actually see the whole
plane field get levels and uh, we're excited to be here.
But we've actually taken that social mission and put it
on equal footing with profitability and it's it's doing well
so far. But right now we've got to say will
be launched this fall. Uh we're going like gangbusters, like

(12:28):
absolutely screaming with our hair on inspired just about every day.
But um, everybody shows us and everybody's happy to be here,
that's for sure. Yeah, you guys raised about two million
was a three million I'm trying to keep track because
to day it's about three point two million. Um. We yeah,

(12:49):
we just we close, We just close. Um, Actually it's
not technically we uh we just followed up with another
two million tronch of funding. Um. That should get us
all the way through launch, and we are looking at
doing a pre sale this summer. Um. The data is
t v A but uh, when we do, we're hoping

(13:09):
that that will be able to inject more funds in
the marketing because our investors and my team were very
intent on hitting the market, very hardy, and not just
making a splash, but creating a tsunami, right, adep that out,
But yeah, that's phenomenal. Also, just to share like creativity

(13:31):
behind this is enthralling as we're sitting here, Like I'm
reading through all this stuff and you're telling me all
the people that involved is incredible, and how many women
are coming together be like, yeah, let's talk about the
fact that we want pleasure to which I adore. Well,
it's it's not just women. It's I mean a good
portion of our team are our male We have um,

(13:54):
you know, we have a transgender on on stuff. We
have a couple of queer folks on stuff, UM like
people of all different walks of life. Everybody like from
from a gender standpoint, we we kind of um uh
stand again that we like from a personality standpoint, like
everyone from very extroverted to very introverted. UM. So we're

(14:16):
really focused on diversifying our thought process and how we
approach problems. And one thing I always tell um all
of our our team is like, you know, if you
don't agree with me, say something. If you don't if
you don't understand or you don't think that the way
that the direction that we're taking makes sense, say something.

(14:37):
Challenge me, argue with me, like bring bring your thoughtful
ideas to the table and challenge me, because um, that's
the only way that we're going to continually innovate and
create new products that speak to everyone. That's the only
way that as a company we're going to absolutely blow
this thing out of the water. And and it's uh,

(14:59):
it's hard because especially when you have UM females on
the team who are used to getting shut down or
marginalized UM and not being able to have as much
of a voice at the table, you have to encourage
that thought process. You have to encourage them to challenge
you almost UM. And it's uh, it's part of it

(15:23):
is is a little bit. Um. It's a little saddening
when I think about the fact that you know, we
we we have to talk about it on a day's
the basis. But I also understand that it's really empowering
knowing that we are creating that kind of empowerment with
folks where they where they start to understand I do
have a voice and what I say does matter, and

(15:43):
my experience is amazing. And and that's like I said,
it's stands again, it crossed multiple different spreads that spreads
that diversity, whether it's UM, ethnicity or even religion or gender,
sex preference, uh, personality types. UM. Bringing all of these

(16:06):
different voices to the table and allowing them to have
a void is what has allowing us to innovate so quickly. Yeah, absolutely, UM.
Like taking it all in um And like he was
saying earlier, you're here to change the game. And we

(16:29):
all know that sometimes certain folks don't like change, so
in factually get a lot of regression with those certain
Yes the last month or so exactly exactly, UM, so
I I We touched on it in our the update
we did around this, but could you talk about, um,

(16:51):
the whole kerfuffle of CS. And I know there's an
update it recently. Yeah, So for those those and and
and you guys you covered U C S or covered
all of that that debacle. Um, So what what happened
in the afternoon? So CS originally took away an a

(17:13):
ward that they had given us a month later, and
we fought them really hard and put it out everything
that was very biased about what they were doing, and
it was very arbitrary and capricious. Really. Um, there was
no basis for for their reasoning, and we pointed that out.
But they stood their ground and they didn't give us
our war back. So we decided to, uh, you know,

(17:33):
create a press release that that picked up Uh core
is it quite a bit, a little bit more than
I think I was prepared for. UM. I I do
remember sitting in uh what our publicists has now that's
the PR war room. UM, when we did probably close

(17:54):
to fifteen back to back interviews, uh in an office
in Las Vegas, where at the end of the day
she just like slammed her hands on the table and
she was like holy crap. That was probably, I think
maybe the second most insane pr war room I've ever experienced.
And I remember at some point during the day just
aff here, Rachel, can I please just go to the bathroom?

(18:16):
I have time, And I was like, okay, yeah. It
just it picked up. And the reason it picked up
is because society tired of the demonization of female sexuality.
People are tired of of you know, in right now
we're seeing such a huge outcry about you know, the

(18:38):
removal of female bodily autonomy with um, these abortion laws
and UM. And I don't think things are going to
go the way that the way that you know, some
of these lawmakers thinks they are, because people are tired,
and they they're ready and willing to fight. So when
we did that drop, people were so ready to fight

(19:00):
and and and get behind us and raise awareness and
lift that voice up. And they and we had I
think over two hundred thousand social shares UM. We like.
The amount of coverage that we got UM was absolutely
mind blowing. I ended up writing an offede for the

(19:21):
Washington Post. We were in the New York Times. I
ended up getting invited to speak at the Forbes Women
Conference in Israel and UM, and it's just been I
often say it's like sitting on a rocket shift and
drinking from a fire hose and then trying to make
a peanut butter and bananasinage at the same time. It's right,

(19:41):
it's fun. So what most people didn't know though, is
that we were still fighting in UM, you know, in
the East, and we actually I got an email one
day from UM, from Gary Shapiro, who is the CEO
of the Consimilar Technology Association with c t A that

(20:03):
governs the c e S Show, that consumer Electronics show,
and it was just a request to to talk. So
we put together a meeting where we could sit down
with the c p A and my team and via
conference call. And the first thing Gary got on the

(20:24):
phone and the first thing he said was I owe
you all is very big apology. And uh and I was.
I was definitely taken aback. But when we realized and
I was, I was very thankful that such a large
association was willing to sit down with the little guy

(20:44):
with the startups and and admit you know, an oversight,
admit um too maybe to buy it, maybe too, that
they had truly made a mistake. Not in taking not
in giving us a ward in the first place, but
made the mistake and taking it away. And UM, you know,

(21:05):
the one thing that when I realized that they were
they were going to give the award back was we
we said we we really aren't comfortable taking them back
unless we have the ability to sit down with you
at the same table and talk about policy change and
talk about more inclusive language and contribute to that more

(21:27):
inclusive language. So, yes, we got the award back, but
I think the real wind is the fact that we're
sitting down with them right now and we're talking about
how to make a safer space for finals at the
e S, how to make safer space for all genders
at the e S and beyond. So we're talking about
those policies. We're talking about UM language and inclusivity within language,

(21:51):
and UM, I don't want to get a percent on
board yet because it's not finished, so that remains to
be seen when they published those rules and those policies,
and I really want to see how to UM you know,
pans out. But this is what we were talking about.
We want to see change, and we've got our site
set on some some very big issues. UM when you

(22:14):
know when we're done here. And uh, I think that's
actually what really drives not just me, but just about
everybody that works at Laura to Carlo is the fact
that we feel like we have purpose. It's not just
about making amusing technology and and creating tech that can't
isn't just using sex choys. It's used. Um, you can
use this tech and we can. We can commercial life tech.

(22:36):
It's never been utilized before, and we're super excited about that.
But to also have mission that stands for gender or
quality and acuity, I should say, Um, that's what really
gets us fired up. Because it's not just about women
being able to use or people's desinas being able to use.
Like says, it's about the acceptance. It's about removing the

(22:58):
stigma around sex. And my true belief is that well
we can you know you you you set up a
disclaimer when we started this podcast that would you know,
you know, just so you know, kids, if you're listening, um,
you know you might want to you might want to
like warn your children and not let your kids listenness.

(23:18):
And the fact is, and so we can talk to
our kids about sexuality and about pleasure and about accepting um,
their sexuality, their preferent their gender. You don't have to
make it explicitly sexual in order for kids to understand
that the way they feel is okay and the way
they're made is perfectly acceptable. And when we start teaching

(23:41):
our children about the fact that gender is fluid, the
way that we approach gender is so binary, and it's
it's we're getting to this point where we're realizing, you know, me,
as an individual, I'm not a hundred percent female. I've
got some seriously male traits or matt killing traits. But
I should say, um, you know, and I know I

(24:04):
know male friends of mine. You know, I think guys
that work in the company that they have quite a
few feminine traits. The fact that gender is not fluid,
we have all sorts of different masculine and feminine traits
in me stands paganut. And when we can start telling
our children that that's okay, that's when we start to
eliminate biases, and we start creating gender equity for the

(24:26):
next generation, and then feminism is no longer needed. That
is powerful, which is why we didn't interact at all.
Both in here nodding our heads at each other like, yep,
we have a little bit more for your listeners, but
first we're gonna pause for a quick bake for word
from our sponsors, and we're back thanking sche So as

(25:01):
we were talking, as you were talking about with the
new laws that are happening, especially about the female body,
what would be your advice for because obviously you've thought
about this. You progressed UM trying to break barriers within
the engineering field, technological field, all of that, UM, what
would you say to women who are trying to do
make change but feel like they really can't because they're

(25:23):
in their individual home or something, or in a state
like we're state the South, which you know has one
of the more rigid UM or not just all the styles,
but in Georgia has a very rigid policy that UM
was signed in. What would you say to those people
like these are the ways that you look and see
in trying to find change instead of just doing the minimal.
Does that make sense? Because as you said, your your

(25:45):
toy to your sex is sex toys were technological sexual satisfaction.
There there we go, because like this doesn't sound right,
this is too big, that type of title. We even
talked about that yeah, yeah, we we call it sex tech. Yeah,

(26:05):
I will now take that sex tech. Um. But beyond that,
you started saying that you could break some grounds and
break some biases as well as um be people who
are a force to activism in all the different ways.
That's not just sex tech, you know, um focused, I
don't know, a very funny I mean a weird gesture

(26:27):
because I'm trying to figu out how to say it
upon um So, I think the first, first and foremost,
like the the thing that I would say is that
anybody listening, like you, really you got to do your homework.
You need to educate yourself about what's actually going on
with the laws and it. And I remember, like you know,

(26:51):
even even two years ago, even when I was even
when I was in midshipmen, when I was in the navy, um, like,
I just I didn't really pay a lot of attention
to the world around me. And I I would implore
people to to do a little bit of homework. I mean,
get on get on your phone and google it. The
fact is the lawmakers that are creating these anti abortion

(27:14):
builds don't know a thing about not even just female physiology,
but phys theology period these men are making our laws
that take away our bodily autonomy, not just ours. If
if this goes up and actually ends up changing the

(27:35):
language at Roe v. Wade, this doesn't just affect females,
This effects everyone's bodily autonomy. What bodily economy is is
let's say you go to the hospital and your brother
needs it needs a blood transfusion, and you have the
same type blood. Let's say you hate your brother and
you don't want to get in your blood. If we

(27:56):
change the language at Roe v. Wade, you have to give.
They take your blood forcibly. That's what we're talking about.
Those are the kind of changes that we're talking about.
We're not just talking about taking away a woman's right
to make choices about her own physical body, which I'm
sorry is your property and no one else's. People need
to understand that the people that are making these laws,

(28:19):
I don't know the first thing about human physiology. They're
they're making insinuations about skinmale bodies. They don't make a
damn that of sense. Um. There was a text of
representative Um that seems to think that abortion providers actually
cut into women's bodies, like he actually thought that an abortion,

(28:39):
was this very infection which is absolutely assinine. Um. You know,
there was another one who another guy, another text law
lawmaker who said that getting a rape kit is them
was they could they could just go in there and
get a woman cleaned out. I think they came literally

(29:00):
said clear woman out to end the pregnancy. And um,
and I'm sure you guys know the infamous one of
the Missouri congressman that said that, um, if all, if
it's really a legitimate rate that the female bodies has,
has ways of shutting it down, give me a freaking brain.
This is absolutely ridiculous. These men are making our laws

(29:23):
about our body. And I'm sorry, I don't care if
you're if you're all the way, if you're completely liberal
or uh, completely conservative. The fact is when you look
at the like you look at a man making a
law about your body, no matter what your stances, whether
you're religious or whether you are like a completely conservative,

(29:44):
when you look the fact that these men have one
is making the law about your body, and you realize
any kind of Nope, that's the problem. Okay. So then
then it comes to start doing start doing the the
homework about like how can you make change there? Are
a lot of petitions going around right now. There are

(30:05):
a lot of ways to UM. It's like, if you
have the funding available, you have the funds available, donate,
donate to the Yellow Fund, donate to these. There are
there are lists that are trying to help women get
elected to congress or into into all sorts of UM

(30:27):
government seats. But there are all sorts of ways for
you to get involved and even just have your name
to a list like share something, Share like a way
for somebody to get like right around the awareness that
we need funding for this. The only way when they
make an impact is if you vote with your dollars
and you have to actually get out in freaking vote.

(30:48):
Please get out and vote, because the last thing that
I want to see is when you know, people think, oh, well,
you know Trump's not going to get reelected because he's
the maniac and all right. The people that start thinking
that are the people that don't go and vote because
they don't think that that's a possibility. I need you
to go vote. You need to go vote. You need
to vote for our bodily autonomy period. And his story

(31:13):
and it's it's it's really frustrating because I know that
There are a lot of people that I've spoken to
that are like, oh, yeah, I just never voted, like
I didn't think it. I didn't actually think you would win. Yeah,
And and okay, well if you don't think you would win,
or if you if you don't think that the person
you think is a terrible idea for office is gonna win,

(31:33):
then go vote anyway. So, um, it's and it's far
as being like my personal opinion, um is, And on
my personal opinion, it's absolutely blows me away that you
can call these people pro lifers. Because if we're gonna

(31:55):
let a ten year old child dyeing custody, that's not
pro life. If we're gonna if we're gonna be transgent
transgender people until they literally die, that's not pro life.
If we're going to murder countless people of color, that's

(32:15):
not pro life, right, and forced pregnancy is not for life.
It is the removal of bodily autonomy. It is anti choice.
So that's so insanely like riled up about it, but
you're everybody here is. So it's so on edge about it. Honestly,

(32:36):
I don't think you could get away with not feeling
some type of emotion with what's happening, whether it's one
side or the other, because it is a really heated
issue and it is about um, your personal rights when
it comes down to it, and so you've got to
be angry because it affects you, affects again everyone, as
you said, Yeah, and I love that perspective. Yeah, And

(32:59):
it's some and I do of sen people realize that
like we have, Um, I've spoken to U especially, we
have we have a general council available that I can
talk to about just about any single sense. That's a
part of an accelerator that I'm involved with. And you know,
even I didn't realize like the kind of effects that
this change of language could have on a review way.

(33:20):
Like the fact is like they've changed this language just
changes everyone's right, not just the emails ability to get
into abortion. It's it's so it goes so much deeper
than that, and it's not pretty. And I guarantee you
if people truly understood the that's the weight of this

(33:41):
issue and how their male rights will be taken away
as well, UM, people will probably look at this a
little bit differently. Yeah, yeah, I would agree, Um, and
that kind of um, segus always fun for topics like this.

(34:02):
That kind of relates back to something UM that I
wanted to ask, which is, UM, why is talking about
something like jose having open, open conversations about it and
female pleasure as opposed to like male pleasure, which is
just understood to be a right, but figing out pleasure
for so long has been No, that's taboo, we don't

(34:23):
talk about it again. As we saw on Twitter, a
main mentioned that men literally tweet back at women saying,
you know, it's not true women like sex. You know,
if women don't have like like you just can't happen,
and blows my mind, like it's two thousand nineteen. How
do you not understand what's happening? Exactly? Yeah, it's UM. Well,

(34:47):
and like I said, I like talked about it a
little bit earlier. It's about it's about education. It's about
understanding that the pleasure is is okay, it's accessible and
UM and the way that we have continuously demonized female
sexuality for so long is simply unacceptable. I mean, I

(35:09):
don't know if you've ever heard of the Madonna for complex,
but that's basically the inabilities for UM like people to
stay in a committed, loving relationships because we have this
obsession with uh, we see women as either saintly Madonna's
or or total prostitutes and um, you know, we view

(35:33):
women as and we teach women that they are supposed
to be um, you know, completely completely proper, never have sex,
never think about sex, never do anything sexual, be um
completely chased. And but when you get married, you're supposed
to be a total horn in the bed and you're
supposed to know exactly what you're doing. And they don't

(35:56):
even but we don't even get the opportunity to even
talk about it, let alone experience our own bodies or
or explore our own bodies. So um, personally, let's be honest,
every single person listening to this podcast touched themselves before
they were a teen. UM. And there's nothing wrong with

(36:16):
young people exploring their own bodies on their own terms.
But we we talked to kids, we talk to people
like that is like, there's something terribly wrong with trying
to understand your own body or understand your own pleasure.
And when we do that, we demonize sexuality. You demonize pleasure.
We make people think it's not okay, UM, particularly for females.

(36:42):
Uh to to understand their own bodies, to love their
own bodies. And when we do that, we create a
very a very binary chasm between men and women where
women are not allowed and men are. And that that
tool like that, that approach to sexuality doesn't just stop

(37:03):
its sexuality. It is completely systemic throughout the way that
we approach gender and that that effective way that we
approach women in the border room, that effects the way
that we approach women on the train, the way we
approach women in the household, the way we approach women
with health care, and the way that we you know,

(37:23):
the way that doctors speak to them. And so, yeah,
it starts with spects. It starts with understanding that your
body is perfect the way it is and the way
you identify with your body and your sexuality, your gender,
your presence is perfectly normal and there's nothing wrong with

(37:44):
it and you should explore it. So that's a big
part of our mission is to really push for people
to understand that it's okay to explore that sexuality because
that is liberating, it's empowering. Understanding that you have some
control over your own pleasure. That's empowering because that ends
up trickling down to the way that you act, the

(38:07):
way you walk right in the boardroom, the way you
walk in the grocery store, the way you talk to
your doctor, the way that you talk to your husband,
or you know, even in the the way you make dinner.
So and and it's not just for men and women,
it's for people that that might not identify as either.
It's about understanding how you identify and your pleasure and

(38:32):
no one, no one's the same, and accepting that we
don't get get to make decisions about somebody else's personal
preference or identity. Um, and that's the only control you
have is over your own preference and identity. That's when
we can actually start to understand each other a lot better. Yeah,
I'm just like, I'm just sitting at you up, we're

(38:54):
just nodding heads essentially. Well, okay, so what we're doing.
What we're doing so say is why does this really significant?
Is this product literally helps you to learn, It teaches you,
It helps you, helps to educate you about your own mind.
Because what happens is you actually put this inside, it

(39:15):
actually conforms to the interior anatomy so that it fits
and so then it's stay put so it and all
of the functions, the G stimulation, the critteral stimulation, the
labyal stimulation. Um, all of these are independent of one another,
so they are completely customizable. So what this allows you

(39:38):
to do is allows you to learn more about your
own body and about your own pleasure and how you
get there. So when you can start to do that
and learn more about your own pleasure, then you can
take that knowledge and you can tell your partner this
is exactly what I like. It's amazing, and you can
now help me get there. So what that does is
it actually brings people closer to betther it a lot

(40:01):
of people to understand one another better. So when I realized,
you know, crap, I'm going to be the CEO of
a text to my company, so this is going to
be interesting. Um, we have like, oh this is it
was It was a little and hear me because um,
you know you you kind of have to reserve yourself too,

(40:24):
you know. Understanding this is the rest of my life now, Um,
I'm forever gonna be known as the specto CEO probably
and uh and and but when I started to understand
the the ability to teach, the ability for education, the
ability for UM for gender equity within this space because

(40:45):
of this education and being able to help couples and
people understand each other better UM and hopefully erase those
sexual stigmas. That's when I got really excited. I was like, yes,
I am so signed on now. So it's and I
think that, UM, that's actually we run into that issue
a couple of times with UM with when we hire employees.

(41:09):
We find the most perfect fit, people that have like
the perfect skills, and I have glad. I love my
team so much. They're so amazing. I'd like I could
get like cheered up about it. I love them. They're
absolutely in kind of UM when like a couple of
times when people have come on, they're you know, they're
a little bit apprehensive about the fact that you know,

(41:30):
it's it's sex text, it's technically the adult industry. Then
we sit there and we talk about how this particular
product can change how we view sex and how we
don't want to be a part of the the adult industry,
how we want to break that mold. We want to
be mainstream. We want to teach people about pleasure, about
sect without having a segment wrapped around it, and about

(41:53):
what we want to do in bigger spaces where gender
equities involved, And we talk about the the values as
a company, about respect, empowerment, and integrity, and about how
that drives every decision that we make, including the one
to release the press release about the e S, including
the one that throws us to say, we don't want that.

(42:14):
We don't really want the word back unless we can
actually make policy changes. Those are scary decisions to make.
But when we know that that drives that, UM, those
values drive your decisions. UM, it was really amazing. Values
drive your decisions, and then you can never make the
wrong choice. And so when we've had that talk with
new employees coming on UM, as soon as we talked

(42:38):
about that, it's pretty much hard to not get them
to sign on the data line. It's amazing and fun
and but like I said, it's uh kind of positioning
yourself and trying to know like how how deep do
you go? How how much do you envelop yourself and

(42:58):
controversial issues like orsition, like being like but I mean
those are as a business, extremely touchy issues to get
involved in. Every single time we have the chance to
make a decision about whether or not we do get
involved in something like that. It's it's always been yes,

(43:19):
we do, because that's what we believe in, and it's
always been the right choice. And I think the fact
that and it's not just the fact that people respond
to it, um positively because they believe in the same choices. UM,
it's that we truly believe it's the right choice. And
I think that even our investors believe that it's the

(43:42):
right choice. They see that, they see the positivity and
the profitability in being an ethical company that has believed
that are rooted in true equity, in seeing um, you know,
men and women and minority easy and uh, people with handicaps,

(44:03):
everybody be able to sit at the same table to
make decisions about products that change our lives and make
decisions about policies that change our lives. They see, they
see the good in that, they see, um, that that's
the right thing to do. So it's like I said,
it's been a wild ride, but we're not done yet, No,

(44:26):
not at all. Um. We have a little bit more
to discuss, but first we're gonna pause for one more
quick break for working more sensitive and we're back. Thank you.

(44:48):
And I feel like every week we get an email
from a listener about um, um bro bro gamer like, yeah, yeah,
bro Topia things like that, and it sounds like you
and every everyone on your team are really spearheading like
a space and are more inclusive space. Um So, could

(45:12):
you talk a little bit about um ways that people
can do that what you think is going on with
inclusive inclusivity and diversity, because I do think that we're
like at a point of I'm hoping we're at least
talking about it, um yeah, and any advice for people
out there, um, I think we definitely are a space

(45:32):
where I think it's actually popular to talk about it.
It's just the the issue is, does do people truly
understand how to pursue creating an inclusive and diverse space
or do they just want to talk about it? Right? So,
part of what we're very committed to doing is in
part of uh Like, the definition of one of our

(45:55):
values is um is about being biased towards actions. It's
it's making sure that we're not just talking about things um.
Uh So. Part of part of the definition of the
integrity is that you know, we're always truthful, were truthful
of ourselves, were truthful with with our community, and we
hold ourselves accountable, but we always move with a bias

(46:19):
towards action. So, like I said, we can talk about
creating these spaces, but if you're not doing anything, you're
not doing anything. So UM, truly understanding how to do
that is is creating framework. Um, you have to create
a framework, you have to create those values. You have
to understand what it's like to be in somebody's shoes
who is in a minority space. And you may not

(46:41):
be able to truly understand what it's like being in
their shoes. But what you can do is is create
the safest space possible for those individuals. Because somebody that
doesn't feel safe one isn't going to sign onto your company,
but to their never gonna thrive. If you it's I mean,

(47:02):
then we're just talking about masilo parierarchy of needs. You
don't feel face, you have a roof over your head,
you know, stood in your stomach, you can never thrive.
So what we're trying to do is create a space
where um, it's space for people to talk about their opinions,
about their thoughts, about their values, about their culture, UM,

(47:25):
about like how they view religion or what their religion is,
and and truly be open minded and never passed judgment
on anyone. UM. But always talk about ideas and talk
about values, and we approach ideas and we might attack ideas,

(47:45):
but we never attack the individual. We we might say, hey,
I'm really curious about this idea, or how how this,
how this happens, or you know, YadA YadA, but um,
you never attacked the individual. And also creating a face
space too is is also understanding that sometimes people don't

(48:05):
want to talk about their culture. They will they will
bring that to you. Sometimes people don't want to talk
about the fact that they're thinking they're thinking about having
a kid because it makes them feel unsafe. Sometimes people
would don't want to talk about how they how they
do their hair because it makes them feel ostracized. So
understanding that if like putting yourself in your in their shoes, um,

(48:30):
and understanding the things that might make them feel unsafe
when you even when you just want to have a
casual conversation, when people will have a casual conversation about
something that makes them feel comfortable, that could actually make
somebody else feel very uncomfortable. And to me, that's selfish.
When you just approach somebody and you say, hey, so
who braise your hair? Um? Maybe they don't want to

(48:50):
talk about who breaks their hair. Maybe you should let
them talk about it when they are comfortable talking about it. Um,
maybe you shouldn't be asking female, so, how many kids
are you planning on having? Maybe I'm not finding on
having any. Maybe I was said it. Who says it's
your business? Who says that that's going to impact the
way I work? Um? So it's it's really about just

(49:12):
creating a safe space where people feel like they can
live their best lives and they can have their own
opinions and thoughts and viewpoints without ever feeling like they
might be personally attacked for those thoughts and viewpoints. Um. Because,
to be very honest, part of the reason I'm hiring
these people is because I want those thoughts in view points.

(49:34):
I want these these um these ideas that aren't an
alignment with my own so that I can think about UM,
so I can think about how we can change things
for the better, because if we keep innovating inside of
the tunnel, we're not going to go anywhere. So UM,
I mean, I don't know if you've heard the term.
I think it's homofully it's the it's dependency for for

(49:56):
people to only hire people that um or or or
to see it with people that look like them and
talk like them and sound like them, and one of
the same schools and you know, the same color skin,
the thame type of hair like And I've seen people
do that, they hire in a funnel and you never
get me there because everybody has the same damn line

(50:16):
of thoughts and so understanding. Yes, it's not just about
it's not just about diversity. It's not just about creating
equity and creating inclusive spaces. It's about understanding the impact
of having that diverse face and having a face space
for people to truly innovate on their own and be

(50:37):
able to feel like they can have their ideas and
their thoughts and not feel attacked. Um So, I doesn't
want to come full circle. People talk about diversity, they
talk about inclusivity, and a lot of the time I
feel like people are talking about in their aud love it.

(51:00):
It's true, I love it. Did you ever imagine you
would be here out of curiosity? You know what? Actually?
UM not here? No, I I always wanted to do.
I was one of those people that I went to school.
I got a Fullloride scholarship as a nurse thing as

(51:21):
a as a Navy nurse, and I had to drop
out halfway through. UM. So I'm one of those kids
that I couldn't even I didn't finish school. And it
was partially because I was like, is this really what
I want to do? Maybe this is what I want
to do. I never quite knew what I wanted to do.
All I knew is that I wanted to lead, and
that I had some some opinions that people seem to

(51:41):
really garner to, and and you know, people tended to
want to follow me and and I at some point
I realized I wanted to be in a position the leadership.
And I literally one day I was like, I think
I just want to be a CEO. I mean they
do all of the things, they're never more deaths obvious

(52:03):
because it's totally overworked. So that sounds like a great idea.
And UM, I I ended up and doing. I ended
up as an executive assist for a few months for
UM a different company. UH and and I realized, yeah,
I bet I could do this better. And probably about
six months after that, I found the Lord of Carlo

(52:23):
and um it was. I feel like I was the
kid that never knew what I wanted to do. And
I think at the same time, I always knew what
I wanted to do. I just couldn't actually define it.
Who who goes to school or who grows up in
in in elementary school or even in high school and goes,
I'm going to be a CEO of something or other

(52:45):
at some point in my line. You don't. But I
do know that I wanted to leave. And I know
that the reason that I I went into the Navies
because I wanted to lead. I wanted to become an officer,
and that wasn't that wasn't in in the cards for me.
But uh, I knew that I still wanted that, and

(53:06):
I kept driving towards it. And like I said, nobody,
nobody ever just goes and I think I'm gonna be
the CEO of this sex place company something. But but
it was the biggest moment I realized that this is
exactly what I was meant to do. Is when um,
I realized the kind of the kind of change that

(53:27):
we could profer for the rest of society and the
kind of impact that we could create. And that really
kind of revolutionized the way that I looked at it,
and I've I think I've embraced it from the from
the get go, and I'm just like, I'm I'm either
bald in or I'm just or I'm completely out. We're

(53:50):
going to sail and we've never looked back, and we've
been We've been going really hard since day one. I
think a lot of people can relate to see what
you just said of feeling like you never know what
you want to do and at the same time, you
know there's there's something you just you don't know what
it is. And I think a lot of listeners will

(54:11):
find comfort or at least like, oh, I'm not the
only one that feels that way. Um from hearing that.
UM yeah, before we close out, is there anything else
you want to include? Um? Any questions we didn't ask
that we should have asked. UM I think actually just
too um So, just to remind everyones we are going

(54:33):
to do that pre so this summer, so um it
might be the only way that you can get your
hands on, let's say, before we do the official launch,
which will be this fall. Um So, if you go
to our website, if Laura de Carlo Corom with l
the Carlo d I c A R l O dot com.
You can actually sign up for a newsletter. Um, if
you sign up for our newsletter, then you probably also

(54:55):
get a little bit more information about the other producing Um.
So uh that and you'll you notified about the pret down.
And then I think the other thing is for folks
that are listening that I might not know what they
want to do, or they might be down on themselves
about you know, maybe not finishing school or not feeling

(55:18):
like they know what they want to do with their lives.
They're not having directions. Um, there was a lot of
time where I felt like I had no idea where
I was going, and I like I didn't have any direction.
And I'm definitely a perfectionist, and I hated that. I
felt like it made me left of a person. And

(55:39):
I know that the entire most of my life and
then especially in the first year and all the way
up until now, I still UM experience UM imposter syndrome.
Crazy like this, this inability to understand how powerful I
can be and how much how much experience I've already garnered,
and you know, in the last two decades, and I

(56:02):
don't give myself enough credit on a daily basis, and
particularly as females, um we do that to ourselves. So
for the people that don't feel like they're enough, you
definitely are. And it's it's there. It's just it's about
it's about getting to that point and realizing your dream
and absolutely not giving up. Just don't give up and

(56:26):
don't stay quiet. Do you believe in something? Because I
didn't and I still never thought that we would get here,
but we did and we're still going and that's what
it takes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, we we talked about that
all the time. Yeah, And I know for some people
they hear it and they're they're you're when you're in

(56:48):
that like low place, and you you just think, no,
I don't need someone else telling me that I have
to keep trying. But it's true. That's true. It is.
And I'll tell you like in the before I did
where before I founded the company, like there were months

(57:08):
at a time where I would try on a daily basis,
literally on a daily basis, there were people that basically
told me, oh, that's a cute idea of when I
talked to them about my business plan, I like, you
want it eat a dick right am once again. So um,

(57:28):
and it's it's it's not easy, it's never and it
doesn't get easier. I'm going to be really honest, but
it does become more and more and more rewarding and
it and I I've always felt like a high purpose,
but today I feel like I have more purpose and
I did definitely have more like to deal with. And

(57:50):
definitely the imposter syndrome doesn't go away, it doesn't get easier,
but it sure as I was rewarding. There you go, beautiful,
there you go. We're so excited to have you. And
we should say this isn't a sponsored episode. We're just fans,
and we also think it's important to discuss, like we've

(58:12):
been talking a lot about female pleasure lately and how
it's so yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, not a sponsored episode,
just just fans. Yeah, my name on that waiting list
somewhere so I can find that. I'm not gonna lie.
I keep telling, and he was like, we gotta, we've
gotta talk to her. We gotta talk to I need
to know. I need to know what it's gonna come out.

(58:34):
I'm a little too excited. Maybe we've been like on
a ram page this morning too. I'm just like perfect
on all of the issues. I love it. Yeah, good
good fit. Yeah. Samantha always gives away her scheme on air.
I don't know why you do that. I do, don't.
I always give away your plan, your master place. Why

(58:56):
I'm not a good like this for anyone, Because you're
already going to know how to know. I think that's
the perfect nemesis. Um. So, Laura, I know you gave
the website. Is there any other place you want to
shout out where people can find you or any other
resources or anything like that. Yeah, I mean we're on
social media and um, we're actually we're growing really faster.

(59:20):
To really please be sit down in a during a
marketing meeting, it was like, holy moly, really that's great. Um,
but you can find us on Instagram and on Twitter
at Laura de Carlo. Again that's l O r A
d I c A R l O underscore h q
um and you can find me personally. Um, I'm linked

(59:41):
to both. Um in the in my last name is Haddoc.
Probably actually gonna change my name to de Carlo because
people are really confused about it. But um, people are
calling me Mr Carlo all the time, like yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah. And we're also on Facebook, uh so um yeah,

(01:00:04):
coming and come and find us because we do have
some pretty funny that we put up and we do
talk about some of the hard issues um so uh
And like I said, I've got a great social media
team that we're putting together. In our digital marketing team
is is pretty amazing as well. So um, they've always
got really great content and just like yes, harms up

(01:00:26):
in the year please so awesome. Well it's fun. Yeah
that sounds fun. Yeah that team yeah hey wait oh sorry,
you should definitely expect that out listeners. Um. You can
also find us on Instagram as stuff I've Never Told
You and on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast an emails

(01:00:47):
at stuff Media, mom Stuff at iHeart media dot com.
Thank you so much Laura for joining us. Yeah, I'm
so excited. I know, I can't wait. I'm We're getting
so quotes and I'm just like it's pretty much selling
itself right now, right I am. Yeah, I'm I'm just
a balling nerve pretty much all day every day and lately,

(01:01:09):
but it's I think it's all good, all good. Thanks, yeah,
thanks as always to our super producer Andrew Howard Andrew,
thanks to you for listening stuff I've never told you.
His protection off I Heard Radio's How Stuff Works. For
more podcasts from my Heart Radio is the I Hear
Radio app, Have a podcast, or wherever you listen to
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