Election Hangover

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Stuff Mom Never told You from how Stuff
Works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm
Kristen and I'm Caroline, and I wish that our stuff
Mom Never told you introm music wasn't so cheerful, because
this is not a cheerful day. Um. Karen and I

(00:29):
rushed into the podcast studio to record this episode in
response to the election of Donald J. Trump as president,
something that The Simpsons unfortunately predicted years ago would happen.

(00:50):
But in that instance, at least Lisa Simpson was there
to clean up the messy left. We're gonna need so
many Lisa Simpsons now, yeah, and some Leslie notes and
honestly we probably a Hillary Clinton. Oh and surely Chisholm
and I to be wells perhaps, Yeah, uh, y'all, it's
a rough day. I didn't wanna get out of bed.

(01:11):
I was, honestly, Caroline, scared to wake up and turn
on the news because I just didn't want to face reality. Yeah.
I didn't either. Actually, when I woke up this morning,
I lay face down in my bed for a while,
trying to muster the energy to even move because normally

(01:32):
when I have a bad day and I go to bed.
Typically when I wake up the next day, things are
a little bit more in perspective, the negative doesn't seem
so bad, and typically I can get the feeling of like,
all right, I got this. I can move forward. I
know that I have to move forward, and I know

(01:53):
that we can all come together and work together to
move forward. But I still have a little bit of
a cloud of despair around me at this moment, and
so I look forward to getting to the point where
I will rally and UM, I I just like I
kind of need a minute today, as a lot of

(02:14):
my friends have needed a minute to UM. I've had
lots of conversations online, not not in person yet today,
but a lot of conversations with friends, UM who are
genuinely concerned about their rights, whether from a perspective of
being a woman, an immigrant, UH, an lgbt Q person, UM,

(02:39):
people with mixed families, maybe someone has just come to
this country. UM. It's it's scary. And you know, I've
also seen a lot of ah people who voted for
Trump telling other people to stop whining or stop complaining,
UM and get over it. And this is the way

(03:00):
of the world and the way that I see it
is that the way of the world is that, um,
the majority of voters voted to uphold white supremacy last night.
Oh yeah, and patriarchy. And we mean patriarchy in the

(03:23):
way that we talk about it on the podcast, in
terms of feminism and all of that stuff, But we
also mean patriarchy in the way of hierarchical systems that
are based on the oppression of already marginalized communities as well.
And this isn't just an issue of women versus men,

(03:45):
of black versus white. This contains so many layers. And
the layer that I'm grappling with the most right now
are the vast numbers of white women who voted for Trump,
voted for everything that he stands for, um, Which politically,

(04:12):
some say that it's all about the policy, but just
the very fact that it's fine electing a man who
uh so completely degrades women by his very existence is
unconscionable to me. Well, what that says to me is
that there are a lot of people who live very

(04:37):
comfortably and whose existences will not be rattled by Donald
Trump being president, by Mike Pence being vice president, by
potentially Rudy Giuliani being Attorney General. UM, I'm terrified. And
the thing is, I keep crying because every time I
start to think, Okay, you've moved on and gone on before,

(04:59):
you lived through a years of George Bush, you can
do this too, I just think of another social or
cultural aspect of this country that is now threatened. Um.
I think of how Donald Trump now has the opportunity
to appoint at least one justice to the Supreme Court. Um.

(05:22):
And Uh. Looking at the chart that was circulated on
social media last night showing the breakdown by race and
gender of who voted for whom Trump versus Clinton, I'm
not even addressing third party yet. UM. Clearly a majority,
I think it was sixty A majority of white men

(05:45):
and of white women feel comfortable enough with Donald Trump
as president and anything and everything that that means that
they are willing to overlook the sexism, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia
that he represents. UM. And I was actually speaking with

(06:07):
someone on Twitter last night who voted for Trump, and UM,
he took issue with me saying that and me saying
that what you're you're voting for Trump because of what
emails like, You're not willing to vote for Hillary because
of emails, and he said, you know, no, drop that line. Um,
It's about more than that. It's about her corruption and

(06:28):
her lies and her pay for play. And also it
makes me wonder, like what do these people think about um,
dick Cheney and Halliburton, you know, like why is it
just her potential tainted edges that uh throw them off
and not someone like dick Cheney's. And all that it

(06:49):
comes down to for me that I can think of
is her gender, her husband that people take issue with
UM and her support for also worts of marginalized communities,
and absolutely the hypocrisy is mind boggling. UM. And for
people who want to take a deeper dive UM into

(07:11):
Hillary Clinton's career leading up to and through um the
beginning of her tenure as First Lady, we did a
whole episode about that called Who Is Hillary Clinton that
you can go back and listen to. Because because the
thing is to meet today, I don't want to waste
time talking to people who insists that she's a corrupt liar,

(07:35):
because we have way more problems and I'm never going
to convince those people that she is not a liar
and a murderer. And literally the embodiment of Satan, which
Pat Buchanan did suggest back in the nineties, like, our
hatred of her runs deep, and it runs as deep
as our hatred of women. And because I'm not feeling

(07:58):
terribly eloquent right now, first of all, I'm letting my
sweatshirts speak for me. It does say the future is female.
You are wearing your pussy Grabs back shirt, which I
do think you should wear to every business meeting we
ever have. Um But David Remnick at The New Yorker
wrote a really powerful um take on this, like right

(08:20):
after the election was called early this morning, and I
want to read this one passage when he says Trump
is vulgarity, unbounded, a knowledge free national leader who will
not only set markets tumbling, but will strike fear into
the hearts of the vulnerable, the weak, and above all,
the many other, the Hispanic other, the female other, the

(08:43):
African American other, the Jewish and Muslim other. The most
hopeful way to look at this grievous event, and it's
a stretch, is that this election and the years to
follow will be a test of the strength or the
fragility of American institution. It will be a test of
our seriousness and our resolve. And right now, to me,

(09:08):
the most important thing to do is dig into that resolve.
I keep asking myself, what would Shirley Chisholm do? Yeah, um,
And when Shirley Chisholm lost the nomination when she was
running for the Democratic nomination for the race for president, Um,

(09:30):
there's a there's footage of her in basically like a
green room type situation. UM, in a room with a
bunch of her supporters and and a few journalists. And
she's sad, and she's choked up, and I mean, she
had dedicated her entire life to becoming the first African
American woman to get that nomination to be president. Um.

(09:57):
And she tells everyone around her, like, this is sad, um,
but we can keep going. We have to keep going.
And that's basically exactly what Hillary Clinton said in her
concession speech today. Uh. You know. She she immediately pointed
out that she called Donald Trump to congratulate him on

(10:18):
his win, and she said that I hope he will
be a successful president for all Americans. And she was
a better person than I could have been, although you know,
she did have a couple of hours to think about this,
I would have still been crying, though, um she said,
we owe him an open mind and a chance to lead.

(10:38):
This is not the outcome that we wanted and we
worked so hard for, and I am sorry that we
did not win the selection, she says. I know we
still have not shattered that highest and hardest glass ceiling,
but someday someone will, and hopefully sooner than we might
think right now. And so at this point I am
already weeping, right like I was weeping from a moment

(11:00):
that Tim Caine, her VP pick, came out on stage
to introduce her, and I wept all the way as
I was driving into work today, But this is where
I started absolutely losing it. She says. To all the
women and especially the young women who put their faith
in this campaign and in me, I want you to
know that nothing has made me prouder than to be

(11:21):
your champion. And to all the little girls who were
watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful
and deserving of every chance an opportunity in the world
to pursue and to achieve your own dreams. And I
think that's important for everyone in our country to hear

(11:43):
that girls are deserving of a champion. And I did
not vote for Hillary Clinton because of her gender or
because of my gender, but it was one aspect of
her as a powerful, amazing person. And regardless of her
loss in this presidential race, she has made history and

(12:07):
hopefully serves as a role model to a lot of
little girls out there. And one thing too from her
speech that jumped out to me was the line where
she's directly addressing younger people saying, never stop believing that
fighting for what's right is worth it. And to me,
her concession speech could be summed up in towards stay nasty. Yeah,

(12:32):
because we have to. And I also take heart that
she won the popular vote. Yeah, you know, Donald Trump
is now, I believe, the fifth president UM elected who
lost the popular vote. But down the ballot, there were
some successes for women that we do want to highlight

(12:54):
because that's so important too. That's so important to look
at the big picture of what's happening right now, and
we're going to do that when we come right back
from a quick break. So, of course, um, the office

(13:18):
of president was not the only thing that we as
Americans were UM deciding yesterday and in the weeks leading
up to the election during early voting. UM. I know
I mentioned in an earlier episode that I was so
excited to vote early and I skipped to the poll
worker to hand over my my voting card. UM. And also,

(13:38):
of course we were voting for Senate and House. UM.
In the Senate, the Democrats gained one seat, so now
there are forty seven Democrats and fifty one Republicans. And
in the House of Representatives, the Democrats gained six seats
to get a hundred and ninety two versus two hundred
and thirty nine Republicans. So at this point the repub

(14:00):
we can sound control of everything, absolutely everything. UM. But
I tell you what, Caroline. When I went to vote yesterday,
First of all, I was wearing my rainbow Hillary pants
suit T shirt UM, which did attract some some glares,
mostly from older white men, which I responded to with

(14:21):
a resting bitch face. UM. And while I was happy
to vote for Hillary, of course I like had like
six of her dancing across my boots as I did so. UM.
I also love the fact that by virtue of living
in Atlanta, I get to reelect civil rights icon John Lewis.

(14:47):
I was so excited to vote for him. I mean,
it's just that always just makes me makes me feel good,
and it also makes me feel proud to be talking
to you here in Atlanta, you know, because the sal
is understandably disparaged for being so politically and culturally conservative. Um,

(15:09):
but I'm really proud of, uh the civil rights heritage
that is here in Atlanta. Not to veer off onto
a total tangent, but um, John Lewis is amazing, and
uh that was a bright spot. Including some other women

(15:31):
in the Senate and the House who won yesterday, specifically
Tammy Duckworth, a Democrat from Illinois who ran a highly
contentious Senate race against incumbent Republican Senator Mark Kirk, and
she won. I mean, this woman, though, is a badass.

(15:55):
She's an Army veteran who lost both of her legs
when an Army helicopters she was piloting in a rock
was hit with a grenade. And now she will become
the second Asian American woman sworn into the Senate. Yeah,
and it is worth noting for sure that uh Duckworth

(16:15):
had to deal with some pretty nasty attacks from Mark Kirk,
and uh he not only attacked her politics, which part
of the course, um, and her message on gun regulations.
But he also attacked her actual family background in her
military service. It's like he was doing whatever he could

(16:37):
to throw hurdles in her way and it just didn't work,
and it didn't work with voters and so and we
should mention too that she was born in Bangkok. Yeah,
she has a Chinese mother and an American father who
had served in World War Two. And um, I think

(16:58):
voters were like, are you are you kidding? Yeah. She
also had a lot of support from Elizabeth Warren. Last night,
when I was frantically digging through Twitter to find some
solace as the the tide began to turn, I was
over on Elizabeth Warren's Twitter and it was nothing but

(17:18):
being pumped for Tammy Duckworth. I'm also just glad Elizabeth
Warren is there, that she exists and that she's not
going anywhere. Um. But let's say I don't know where
to California where Democrat Kamala Harris one Senator Barber Boxer's
open Senate seat. Yeah, and she had been California's Attorney

(17:42):
general and now she is just the second black woman
to be elected to the U. S. Senate. And that's
a shame. That is a shame that she is the second,
only the second. But I'm glad she's there. Oh, absolutely
she is. Her whole deal um is combating income inequality.

(18:02):
She wants massive comprehensive immigration reform, she wants to reform
the criminal justice system and protect civil rights. We need her,
We absolutely need her. And Hello, Catherine Cortez Mosto, a
Democrat from Nevada, made history last night because she will
become the first Latina ever elected to the U. S. Senate. Well,

(18:27):
I mean she's already been elected, but I should say,
we'll make history being sworn in, uh to the Senate.
So that's terrific. I mean, like there, and especially that
these are women of color who are making history is
definitely something that we should celebrate because not only do
we need more women in our political system, but we

(18:49):
need women of color in particular. Um. And there was
also some stuff happening in the old House. It's going
out of the House and the House are reps um
Val Demmings, who's a Florida Democrat. Uh. She's the former
chief of the Orlando Police Department, and she's the first
woman to ever hold that position. Uh. She had originally

(19:13):
run in unsuccessfully before she got her seat. Uh. Now
in and she focused a lot on job creation and
the economy, on reducing violent crime and protecting national security,
expanding education and making college more affordable for students. Um.
And all of these things clearly really resonated with voters. Uh.

(19:37):
And down in Florida, Floridan's listening. But what can we
say that we're in Georgia. But you did elect Stephanie Murphy,
a Democrat who beat a Republican incumbent with over twenty
years of a run in the House, Congressman John Micah.

(19:59):
And she won thanks largely to her progressive platform on education,
protecting women's reproductive rights. Hello, our uteruses are in dire
need of protection right now. Um. And she also stood
for guaranteeing pay equity. Uh. So this is the first
time she'll be holding office and glad to see that.

(20:22):
And then when we move over to Washington State, another
Democrat was successful. Promila Jayapal is a civil rights advocate
who is committed to passing immigration reform, stopping violence against
people in communities of color, fighting for LGBTQ equality again,

(20:43):
reproductive rights, and working for campaign finance reforms, and so
when she is sworn into the House in January, she's
going to be the first Indian American person in Congress.
And finally, we've got to shout out Delaware's Lisa Blunt Rochester,
whose resume is just a laundry list of first uh.

(21:07):
This woman first served as Delaware's first African American female
Secretary of Labor, she was Delaware's first African American Deputy
Secretary of Health and Social Services, and now as of
last last night, she is Delaware's first woman and African
American woman to serve as the at large congresswoman, meaning

(21:29):
she represents the entire state of Delaware. So there is
some rad news coming out of last night. There is
a lot more sad news, of course, but this is
also why it's important for us to remember, a y'all,
it's not just in four years that we got to
step back up to the plate that pussy is going

(21:49):
to grab back. Because we have two years until the
next set of Senate and congressional elections, and obviously, like
our main focus is on the presidential election, but down
the ballot matters so much all the way down to
your local politics and again, UM, hopefully this election becomes

(22:14):
a rallying cry for more women to get involved in
politics from the ground up and in the same way
as Uh, the Anita Hill testimony against Supreme Court Justice
Clarence Thomas not only broke wide open the realities of
sexual harassment, but also inspired a lot of women too

(22:37):
run because the system is broken. And I gotta tell you, Caroline,
UM waking up, it was not fun this morning. But
our stuff Mom Never Told You community made it easier.
And you all have not only been sending a lot

(22:58):
of love our way, UM, we're also sending you're very
understandable angst that we share with you, wondering what do
we do now? What do we do? Um? And we're
going to talk about that when we come right back
from a quick break. So I posted this morning on

(23:27):
the stuff Mom Never Told You facebook page that all
caps nasty women keep fighting. Uh. It took me way
too long to even just cobble that sentence together because
my brain was so shell shocked, and I wanted to
share some of the comments UM that listeners from around

(23:49):
the world we're sharing on this thread that has really
just become UM one comforting corner of the Internet, so
thank you all that. Listener Cathy shared, I'm married to
a Latino man whose father was an undocumented immigrant until
he married my mother in law. My uncle is gay,

(24:10):
my best friend is Jewish, and I have several survivors
of sexual assault in my family. I went to school
with many Muslims, my co workers are active in Black
Lives Matter, and I grew up next to a reservation.
I will continue to stand with you, I will continue
to fight for you. You are loved, you are my community.
I promised to continue to use my voice only louder,

(24:33):
and I gotta tell you to Caroline. I've been thinking
a lot a about parents of small children, what do
you say? And also about teachers who are dealing with
this in the classroom. Listener Heather commented, I teach it
a small private school in Alabama. Today has been a
difficult day for me and the few minority students at

(24:54):
my school. I've dried tears and given hugs, but most importantly,
I came to school to day, even though I wanted
to stay home. I came to school and loved every
single one of my students, and we had a discussion
about kindness and empathy and how we should all be
spreading it. I'm going to be the light for my students,
because now I might be the only one that they have.

(25:16):
And we've also definitely heard support from our friends and
listeners outside of this country as well. Becky writes, as
your neighbor to the north, all I can say is
keep fighting. This is a wake up call for everybody
who stayed silent because they thought their voice didn't matter. Well,
now your voice needs to be heard louder and more
clearly than ever before. Shed your tears and more, and

(25:38):
but then move on and prepare yourselves our fear. Your
country is in the start of a very volatile revolution.
But when it's all over, whenever that may be, make
sure everybody comes out safe and on the right side
of history. It's never too late to right the wrongs.
I'm sending every single American in shock and sadness right
now a huge bear hug and a fist bump love
your Canadian neighbor. Yeah, we've been sieving a lot of

(26:01):
messages of support and solidarity from our beloved Canadian audience
and listeners in Europe as well, and we thank you
for that. That means a lot um, and in terms
of the question what do we do now to me

(26:23):
at least Caroline the first thing, as in today, because
this is a very one foot in front of the
other process. I want to make sure I check my
privilege in all of this, because as a straight, married,

(26:44):
financially stable, healthy as far as I know, etcetera, etcetera
white college educated woman, I am emotionally distraught, but I'm
going to be okay. I'm going to be fine regardless.
The same cannot be said for millions of people in

(27:07):
this country who do not benefit from all of those
societal privileges that all of my identities afford me. And
while it's important and valid for us to have emotions
around us and to process it, we also have to
keep an eye on what the ripple effect is beyond

(27:31):
our own like psychological pain, and how it affects the
marginalized communities that we come in contact with, and especially
the ones that we don't that are largely invisible. Right, UM,
I have been trying to keep up with as many
different voices as I can on Twitter, for instance, just

(27:54):
to try to listen and see what other people are saying. UM,
in my tiny corner of my zip code and uh
well adjacent to Atlanta. Um, I've done my part to
just reach out to Lady France like you, UM to say, Hey,
stuff is hard today, and if you need a place

(28:16):
to just get away and decompress and cry or yell
or whatever like you can come over and hang out
and have a glass of wine. Because I I want
to be able to help. I don't know what to
do and I don't know how. I can't fix the
world myself. I'm one person and I can't um change
anyone's life. I'm one person. But what I can do

(28:38):
and all I know how to do is invite people
over to listen to them and almost treat it like awake.
I don't know how else to say it. I don't
want to sound morbid, but it's kind of what it
feels like. It feels morbid. UM also very disappointed that
you cannot change the world just by yourself, Caroline, I know,

(28:59):
right low and as daunting as social media is today, UM,
the thing that is super useful with Twitter, especially that
I'm planning to do once my my brain settles a
little bit, is seek out the voices and the reactions

(29:19):
and the experiences right now, of people who do not
look like you, who are having to deal with these
more imminent threats. People whose reproductive rights are under dire
threat because there is no abortion clinic anywhere to be found. Um,

(29:40):
people who are terrified to be Muslim and in public
now because they don't know what's going to happen, people
in low income areas. Whatever it might be too. Try
to take a holistic look at it and see what
you can do. I don't know if that sounds to Pollyanna, um,

(30:05):
but right now listening is also powerful. Yeah, and hopefully
with enough listening and with enough patients, both for yourself
and for other people, you can find that good starting
point for when and where to step out into Uh

(30:26):
what am I doing with my metaphor? To step out
into the parade, start to the stream, to cross your
horse in the middle of the road. I like that
circle the wagons, yes, and but of course, since we
are ladies, we will ride that horse side saddle. You
bet your breeches will. Um. Actually, I'd prefer to go

(30:50):
Lady Godiva style right now because I'm feeling real brassy.
Just take it all off, Oh my god, brassy. I
mean like I want to be new in public. But
whatever we pull. What's her name, Inez mill Holland who
she was, the suffragist. She died very young, but she
rode a white horse through like this parade of drunken

(31:11):
men who were like throwing their bottles at her and
screaming at her. But she was I mean, she was
a woman of incredible privilege. She was white, um, and
she was like, I'm riding my horse a freedom. She
was not Southern, she did not have that accent, but
I do in my head for her. Uh. And So
whether you're getting on a literal horse or a figurative

(31:32):
figurative one, maybe maybe it's time that we get on
our angry, angry feminist of horses of rage and ride
through this angry parade. I'm gonna take that metaphor up
a notch and call it angry feminist unicorn because we
know that they are magical and more powerful. Not that
feminism is magic, it's actually really basic. But before we

(31:58):
wrap up, um, speaking speaking of men throwing bottles, what
would you suggest to the guys who are listening. Hello, fellows,
I know that you're listening, um, because I'm sure there
are guys out there who are similarly outraged, but also
have women in their lives that they want to stand

(32:21):
in solidarity with. UM, So what what's the best course
of action aside from again listening? UM? Yeah, I don't
know what else to say, because like that's all my
boyfriend did when he got home from work last night,
and I was just crying with my white wine spritzer.
UM like a bougiefool. I mean he all he did

(32:44):
was listen and and UM. We talked a little bit
about the numbers. I caught him up on what was
going on as far as statistics, uh, and developments were going.
And he just listened and we talked a lot about
Toronto moving there. I hear Toronto as beautiful this time
of year. I'm more curious about Vancouver myself. Yeah, I

(33:08):
just like all of my urban's. UM came to Ontario
from Ireland. So there you go. I need to I mean,
I figure why to start there, and then I can
move around Canada as needed. Two words though, regardless of
whether you are a dude, regardless of your gender identity

(33:31):
to words that are of zero help that I'm going
to flip today if I am told this, calm down, now,
do not apologize for your feelings. Don't calm down if
you don't want to. This is this is not a
time to be calm. This is the time to be angry.
And you know what, I think that women need to

(33:55):
go on strike again. I think it's time we take
a cue from our rad ladies in Iceland and in
Poland and across Latin America lately and go on strike protests.
Let's shake things up. I'm mad as hell right now.

(34:15):
And I forget the rest of that quote from the
movie Network, but you all know the one that I'm
talking about, and hopefully tuning into this has maybe been
not comforting because I feel we can't we can't take
the pain away, obviously, but know that we are here
and we are standing in solidarity with you, dear listener,

(34:41):
and standing in solidarity for intersectional equality for everybody, everybody, everybody. Yeah,
so I want to hear from listeners. How are you
feeling what's going on? Um? Are you scared? Are you motivated? Um?
And if you're motivated, what are you what are you

(35:02):
gonna do? Like? What steps are you going to take
to be an advocate or an activist? And just a
note to save people time. If they're thinking about this,
we don't want to hear anything trying to convince us
about how bad Hillary Clinton is, how terrific Bernie Sanders is,
because he is why third party nominees should have gotten

(35:25):
more support. That was yesterday, y'all, and we gotta look
at tomorrow well and even today, because today's it's a
rough one. So y'all, thank you so much for your
support to us, and we're going to keep fighting because
that's what nasty women do. For more on this and

(35:47):
thousands of other topics, Does it how stuff Works dot
Com