June 10, 2025 • 8 mins
Today we're celebrating the story and activism around asexuality of Yasmin Benoit.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stuff
I Never Told you, production by Hurt Radio, and.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
We are continuing our journey in celebrating pride here in
the US. But we are talking about an activist, advocate, model, writer,
and so much more from the UK. Yesmn Benoir and yes,
obviously this is activists around the world. If you didn't know,
Tuta So Benoir started to gain attention for her activism
(00:39):
around twenty seventeen, wanting to bring in attention and awareness
to a romantic and asexual people. And you know, we
love talking about a romantic asexual people because we have one.
You what have you? Benoit became vocal about different misconceptions
and misinformation around her sexuality. So she talks about her
figuring out her sexuality and the difficulties she had to
(01:02):
navigate in her a sexuality, as well as teaching others
how to look beyond those misconceptions. And here's something from
her article in British Vogue. Yes she did write this,
because again she's a writer. There is a phase in
our lives when everyone seems asexual and almost everyone seems
a romantic. It wasn't until puberty kicked in that platonic
relationships seemed to take a back seat. My peers stopped
(01:23):
wanting to play together and start wanting to date each other.
That was when I started to realize that there was
something different about me. I didn't seem to be experiencing
the same urges as those around me. I chose to
go to an all girls school in the hopes that
in the absence of boys, everyone would stop caring about
sex and dating. It actually had the opposite effect. There
(01:43):
was a sense of deprivation in the air and the
heightened desire to project sexuality into anything and everything. And
she continues, having a sexual orientation isn't just natural, is
essential as part of being a fully functional human being,
and to romantically love and be loved by another person
is the ultimate goal. Is part of being normal, which
made me both abnormal and puzzling. When you're a sexual,
(02:06):
people think there's something wrong with your body. When you're
a romantic, they think there's something wrong with your soul.
So as she was navigating these times, it was more
difficult than she realized. So in that article, she expresses
her fear of not being normal and being told that
her reactions and lack of sexual wants were wrong. She
goes on to talk about how people analyze her and
she felt even more isolated and as if there was
(02:28):
something wrong with her.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
From that same British Folgue article quote, it was suggested
that I was suffering from my issues because I was
socially anxious and insecure. The suggestion that my issue was
pathological stayed with me for a long time, but not
as much as the widely accepted theory that I was
mentally slow. Unfortunately, that one stuck. I was referred to
as stupid and I started to believe that was the case.
(02:53):
It would impact my experience in education for the next
eight years, long after I realized that there was a
word for what I was.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Asexual right, and she has done a lot of research
and that was just the beginning. Again, she didn't stop there.
She created the hashtag this is what asexual looks like
and she began modeling at age sixteen, which often made
people question her a sexuality. In fact, it was after
her gig as an asexual lingerie model, which she still is,
(03:21):
but led her to the hashtag and also her experience.
In an appearance for a BBC three documentary about a
sexuality which she actually didn't like and felt that it
was a misrepresentation of a sexuality. And here's what she
told a magazine dot UCL dot AC dot UK. It
was her school. By the way, I knew I was
asexual at a young age and tried to learn more
about it as a teenager in the early twenty tens,
(03:44):
but not many people were talking about it. Fast forward
to twenty seventeen, at which point I was modeling more,
which meant I was spending more time on social media,
and I realized that the landscape hadn't changed much at all.
Despite conversations having opened up about other LGBTQIA plus identity,
there's still little discussion of a sexuality or representation of
a sexuality in the media. I thought, quote, why not
(04:06):
throw my perspective in the mix, and publicly came out
on National Coming Out Day twenty seventeen. People cared about
this more than I expected. Suddenly I was doing interviews,
appearing in documentaries, and speaking at events.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
And then she understood how her words and her work
were so important for a sexual representation. She goes on
to talk about the spectrum of asexuality and even how
she felt this was an opportunity to use her platform
to dispel the misinformation and to show a different type
of representation from the British Vogue article quote. It gave
me the opportunity to encounter a range of asexual and
(04:40):
a romantic people offline. It was then that I learned
the significance of having an a romantic identity. There are
many asexual people who still feel romantic attraction as well
as a romantic people who still feel sexual attraction. They
have their own range of experiences, their own culture, their
own flag, and like the ACE actual community, I was
(05:01):
relieved to see that they are just normal people. These
intersecting communities are not stereotypes. They aren't just thirteen year
old pink caared kids making up identities on Tumblr to
feel special. They were parents, lawyers, academics, husband's girlfriends, artists, black, white,
young old with differing feelings towards the many complex elements
(05:22):
of sexuality and intimacy. Most importantly, they were happy.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Now she has continued to advocate for our community. She
has collaborated with different organizations to bring more awareness, including
working with Stonewall Charity for Queer Rights. So again from
magazine dot UCL dot AC, dot UK. She goes on
to talk about her work with Stonewall, which was titled
the Stone Wall with Yasmin benoir Ace Project, so it
is quote the Stone Wall with Yasmin Benoa Ace Project,
(05:48):
which began in twenty twenty two. We realized that before
we could begin campaigning for change, we needed people to
understand more about a sexuality and the issues we want
to tackle. So the first phase of the project was
to produce a report.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
And they did publish that report in twenty twenty three.
Here's some of the things they have been able to
find to quote. We found that asexual people face discrimination
in many aspects of their lives and that the community
needs better legal protections. A key finding was the poor
experience many asexual people have in the workplace. Half of
a's people aren't out at work, and many that are
(06:24):
often experienced intrusive questions are harassment. We also found that
many as people have poor experiences in health care settings,
where their asexuality is often inappropriately labeled a mental health condition.
Our report calls for the World Health Organization to end
its classification of asexuality as a mental health condition, as
it has previously done for homosexuality. And transgender health. We're
(06:47):
also calling for asexual people to be provided with protections
under the Equality Act and for a ban on conversion therapy.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Right Obviously, they've been working to get this research into
the right hands as well as bring it to it
through educational avenues such as going through colleges and obviously
publishing within their articles and even through the NHS, So
she is obviously still working on this. They are still
working on that, and she is far from being done
with any of this work. She's currently working at the
(07:16):
King's College, London's Policy Institute as a visiting research fellow,
as well as she just co authored I Believe in February,
a new report concerning public attitude towards a sexuality, which
is really important obviously, and yes, she is quite busy
with her work and she has been recognized for this
work from her website Yasmin Bernoir dot co dot uk.
(07:39):
Yasmin has won an Attitude Prior Award for her activism,
making her the first openly a romantic asexual activist to
win an LGBTQ Plus award. She later won a Campaigner
Influencer of the Year at the Rainbow Honors and became
a celebrity ambassador for the Prince's Trust, and she's become
the first asexual person to appear on the cover of
Attitude magazine. Doing a lot of great work out there.
(08:02):
You should definitely go look at her site because she
has all of her articles in there and it's all
so amazing, as well as where she could be found
or if you want to follow her on all the
social medias, which.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You should, yes absolutely and as always, listeners, if you
have any suggestions for this segment, please let us know.
You can email us at Hello at stuff one Neever
Told You dot com. You can find us on Blue
Sky at momsterf podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at
stuff One Never Told You for also on YouTube. We
have a tea public store and we have a book
you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks Zoeys
(08:34):
to our super producer Christina or executive producer My and
our contributor Joey, thank you and thanks to you for listening.
Stuff Never Told You is prediction of by Heart Radio.
For more podcasts or my Heart Radio, you can check
out the art radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stuff
I Never Told you, production by Hurt Radio, and.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
We are continuing our journey in celebrating pride here in
the US. But we are talking about an activist, advocate, model, writer,
and so much more from the UK. Yesmn Benoir and yes,
obviously this is activists around the world. If you didn't know,
Tuta So Benoir started to gain attention for her activism
(00:39):
around twenty seventeen, wanting to bring in attention and awareness
to a romantic and asexual people. And you know, we
love talking about a romantic asexual people because we have one.
You what have you? Benoit became vocal about different misconceptions
and misinformation around her sexuality. So she talks about her
figuring out her sexuality and the difficulties she had to
(01:02):
navigate in her a sexuality, as well as teaching others
how to look beyond those misconceptions. And here's something from
her article in British Vogue. Yes she did write this,
because again she's a writer. There is a phase in
our lives when everyone seems asexual and almost everyone seems
a romantic. It wasn't until puberty kicked in that platonic
relationships seemed to take a back seat. My peers stopped
(01:23):
wanting to play together and start wanting to date each other.
That was when I started to realize that there was
something different about me. I didn't seem to be experiencing
the same urges as those around me. I chose to
go to an all girls school in the hopes that
in the absence of boys, everyone would stop caring about
sex and dating. It actually had the opposite effect. There
(01:43):
was a sense of deprivation in the air and the
heightened desire to project sexuality into anything and everything. And
she continues, having a sexual orientation isn't just natural, is
essential as part of being a fully functional human being,
and to romantically love and be loved by another person
is the ultimate goal. Is part of being normal, which
made me both abnormal and puzzling. When you're a sexual,
(02:06):
people think there's something wrong with your body. When you're
a romantic, they think there's something wrong with your soul.
So as she was navigating these times, it was more
difficult than she realized. So in that article, she expresses
her fear of not being normal and being told that
her reactions and lack of sexual wants were wrong. She
goes on to talk about how people analyze her and
she felt even more isolated and as if there was
(02:28):
something wrong with her.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
From that same British Folgue article quote, it was suggested
that I was suffering from my issues because I was
socially anxious and insecure. The suggestion that my issue was
pathological stayed with me for a long time, but not
as much as the widely accepted theory that I was
mentally slow. Unfortunately, that one stuck. I was referred to
as stupid and I started to believe that was the case.
(02:53):
It would impact my experience in education for the next
eight years, long after I realized that there was a
word for what I was.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Asexual right, and she has done a lot of research
and that was just the beginning. Again, she didn't stop there.
She created the hashtag this is what asexual looks like
and she began modeling at age sixteen, which often made
people question her a sexuality. In fact, it was after
her gig as an asexual lingerie model, which she still is,
(03:21):
but led her to the hashtag and also her experience.
In an appearance for a BBC three documentary about a
sexuality which she actually didn't like and felt that it
was a misrepresentation of a sexuality. And here's what she
told a magazine dot UCL dot AC dot UK. It
was her school. By the way, I knew I was
asexual at a young age and tried to learn more
about it as a teenager in the early twenty tens,
(03:44):
but not many people were talking about it. Fast forward
to twenty seventeen, at which point I was modeling more,
which meant I was spending more time on social media,
and I realized that the landscape hadn't changed much at all.
Despite conversations having opened up about other LGBTQIA plus identity,
there's still little discussion of a sexuality or representation of
a sexuality in the media. I thought, quote, why not
(04:06):
throw my perspective in the mix, and publicly came out
on National Coming Out Day twenty seventeen. People cared about
this more than I expected. Suddenly I was doing interviews,
appearing in documentaries, and speaking at events.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
And then she understood how her words and her work
were so important for a sexual representation. She goes on
to talk about the spectrum of asexuality and even how
she felt this was an opportunity to use her platform
to dispel the misinformation and to show a different type
of representation from the British Vogue article quote. It gave
me the opportunity to encounter a range of asexual and
(04:40):
a romantic people offline. It was then that I learned
the significance of having an a romantic identity. There are
many asexual people who still feel romantic attraction as well
as a romantic people who still feel sexual attraction. They
have their own range of experiences, their own culture, their
own flag, and like the ACE actual community, I was
(05:01):
relieved to see that they are just normal people. These
intersecting communities are not stereotypes. They aren't just thirteen year
old pink caared kids making up identities on Tumblr to
feel special. They were parents, lawyers, academics, husband's girlfriends, artists, black, white,
young old with differing feelings towards the many complex elements
(05:22):
of sexuality and intimacy. Most importantly, they were happy.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Now she has continued to advocate for our community. She
has collaborated with different organizations to bring more awareness, including
working with Stonewall Charity for Queer Rights. So again from
magazine dot UCL dot AC, dot UK. She goes on
to talk about her work with Stonewall, which was titled
the Stone Wall with Yasmin benoir Ace Project, so it
is quote the Stone Wall with Yasmin Benoa Ace Project,
(05:48):
which began in twenty twenty two. We realized that before
we could begin campaigning for change, we needed people to
understand more about a sexuality and the issues we want
to tackle. So the first phase of the project was
to produce a report.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
And they did publish that report in twenty twenty three.
Here's some of the things they have been able to
find to quote. We found that asexual people face discrimination
in many aspects of their lives and that the community
needs better legal protections. A key finding was the poor
experience many asexual people have in the workplace. Half of
a's people aren't out at work, and many that are
(06:24):
often experienced intrusive questions are harassment. We also found that
many as people have poor experiences in health care settings,
where their asexuality is often inappropriately labeled a mental health condition.
Our report calls for the World Health Organization to end
its classification of asexuality as a mental health condition, as
it has previously done for homosexuality. And transgender health. We're
(06:47):
also calling for asexual people to be provided with protections
under the Equality Act and for a ban on conversion therapy.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Right Obviously, they've been working to get this research into
the right hands as well as bring it to it
through educational avenues such as going through colleges and obviously
publishing within their articles and even through the NHS, So
she is obviously still working on this. They are still
working on that, and she is far from being done
with any of this work. She's currently working at the
(07:16):
King's College, London's Policy Institute as a visiting research fellow,
as well as she just co authored I Believe in February,
a new report concerning public attitude towards a sexuality, which
is really important obviously, and yes, she is quite busy
with her work and she has been recognized for this
work from her website Yasmin Bernoir dot co dot uk.
(07:39):
Yasmin has won an Attitude Prior Award for her activism,
making her the first openly a romantic asexual activist to
win an LGBTQ Plus award. She later won a Campaigner
Influencer of the Year at the Rainbow Honors and became
a celebrity ambassador for the Prince's Trust, and she's become
the first asexual person to appear on the cover of
Attitude magazine. Doing a lot of great work out there.
(08:02):
You should definitely go look at her site because she
has all of her articles in there and it's all
so amazing, as well as where she could be found
or if you want to follow her on all the
social medias, which.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You should, yes absolutely and as always, listeners, if you
have any suggestions for this segment, please let us know.
You can email us at Hello at stuff one Neever
Told You dot com. You can find us on Blue
Sky at momsterf podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at
stuff One Never Told You for also on YouTube. We
have a tea public store and we have a book
you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks Zoeys
(08:34):
to our super producer Christina or executive producer My and
our contributor Joey, thank you and thanks to you for listening.
Stuff Never Told You is prediction of by Heart Radio.
For more podcasts or my Heart Radio, you can check
out the art radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
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