January 5, 2023 • 19 mins
In the first happy hour of 2023, Anney and Samantha discuss the idea of being 'sloppy', body insecurity, and (maybe) body acceptance.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. They're welcome to stuff
I never told you, protection of iHeart Radio, and welcome
to our first recording of twenty three. So if we
are rusty, bear with us. Hey, that's my theme song
(00:27):
for life. I'm always rusty. I recorded with Savor for
the first time of the year yesterday and it was
not good. Like, why did I lose everything I know
over the s fan of like one week? Anyway, I'm
We're all working it out, working it out. Happy New Year, everybody,
(00:47):
This is our first happy hour of the year. Also, um,
as always with these, drink responsibly. Well are you sipping on, Samantha,
I am actually drinking something that you gave me Christmas. Um.
It is the Anna Green Gables Tea. So the Anna
Green Tea Gables, yes, which I'm assuming is yes, um,
(01:13):
and it's from y'all. I'm trying to read it off
and I'm in a dark part of my office and
I can't see, so band with me as I try
to read this off. It is from novelty Tens dot com.
M that's the site, and it is a green tea
with orange pill raspberry pieces and natural flavor. So I'm
trying to be all natural moderate caffeine, also trying to
(01:36):
be caffeinated because that is the new year. Am I right?
Am I right? Yeah? So far that's been my experience.
Um well, I'm continuing to drink red wine out of
a box. Yeah, read read every time. Yeah, I know
you can't not do it. And I don't know that
I've ever heard that song, but I've seen a parody
(01:57):
of that song. Really the song today, Oh perfect, excellent.
Then you will never stop singing it no matter what. Well,
that's going to benefit both of us. So this is
a topic I want to talk about. I will say
I don't think we're gonna go too much into it,
but um there might We talked around like weight and eating.
(02:19):
So if that's especially around this time of year. If
that's not what you want to hear, understand, I don't
think we're gonna go too much into it, but might
we might. Uh. And this is actually something that would
have been I wrote this forever Agot like wrote I
wrote bullet points for it forever ago. These are much
less structured than our full episodes. Um, but it was
it was because of parties, like going out of parties
and hang out with people. This is something that occasionally
(02:44):
I just feel, and I definitely felt it more lately
because I'm talking about this whole idea of being like
the sloppy not even drunk, but just like the sloppy
person in a group. And I feel like I've just
had so many experience is recently because I have gained
weight during the pandemic um and I just mostly wear
(03:05):
the same thing. I change it up every now and then,
but generally the same kind of like T shirt, leggings.
I feel like you dress up more than I do,
so I'm worry I would disagree. Really, I feel like
when I'm around you, though, I feel very comfortable, so
I don't dress up. But that's that's what I'm saying.
Like when we go out, I always like you're more
(03:27):
dressed up than I am. I'm casually all the all
the time. Same And because I wear helled boots, people
think I'm fancy. You know, I'm just short and I
like killed boots. Like that's well, yeah, there's like a
theme to your outfit, and I'm like, hey, black, but
isn't my theme? Like Star Wars well sometimes and then
(03:49):
there's Spider Verse, and then there's last of us. You
do like the undercover cosplay all the time. I actually,
I think that's been my main theme during the pantomick,
Like clothing during the pandemic has been like very subtle
cosplay all the time. I love it. It's not so subtle. Well, see,
that's the thing. I love it too. And most of
the time I'm very secure and like maybe very secureity strong.
(04:13):
But most of the time I'm either too tired or
I don't care what other people think that I'm wearing
essentially cosplay, essentially pajamas, um out and about. But I've
had because we were going out more at the end
of the year, I had a couple of instances where
I was like, oh, I wonder if that's how people
see me. And I think one of the big things
(04:34):
was like at one at one event, I wore a
dress that I'm pretty sure it was pretty sea through
when I was wearing like a braw and underwear. It
wasn't like naked under it. But I had somebody like
a friend of mine, very kindly, because you do want
to know that stuff, say you know, hey, you can
kind of see through it, And I really didn't care,
and it was kind of a weird moment of like
(04:55):
should I care? Maybe I should. I'm glad to know,
but it was like a weird I just had to
kind of disconnect between I honestly was like, okay, but
should I care? And this has been this has been
something we should revisit because I keep seeing headlines about
celebrities that are wearing c through things and We're getting
(05:17):
so much attention and I'm kind of perplexed by the
whole thing. But anyway, that was something. And then I'm
just like worn clothes that I know are too small
for me because again I gained weight, but I also
really don't care. Um that I had somebody mentioned that,
like the side game situation, Okay, I was like, what
what did who said this? Okay, no, no, no, no no.
(05:44):
And it's like, generally because that is a good thing
when a trusted friend can tell you just so you know, hey,
here's this. Um. I think it's more like it's like
I'm coming out of a dream of this pandemic of
what I did before and what I do now, and
now I don't care. And I feel like that's fine.
(06:09):
But sometimes I'm like, hmmmm, it seems like people are
still worried about these things, right, I think, yeah, I'm
I'm with you on that because I do care to
a certain degree of like I try to not look
so from people, but that's kind of how I dress.
I don't mean to. It's just because I like way
a large things and I'm tired of trying to h
(06:30):
be cutely. And I have also gained a lot of
weight during the pandemic. And I say a lot of
weight because I've lost I had lost a lot of
weight right before, and it was due to depression, so
it wasn't healthy anyway. But believe me, I got all
the compliments and I have a stigma about that, and
we've talked about that before. And now I'm like, okay,
I don't one of the things, uh, convenience wise, because
(06:51):
I had lost all that weight. So I started getting
really excited, even though it wasn't a good way. And
I got the new clothes and now I cannot fit
into those clothes. That also reverted reverted back to the
old clothes that got didn't throw those away, um, and
then it even bought like really uh better clothes like
that actually are supposed to fit me and they are
absally supposed to be nice quality and I had to
(07:12):
get a bigger side, you know that that felt some
type of way. But at the same time, like, yeah,
I don't care, like I just I'm going to wear
that big sweater. I'm gonna wear the T shirt that
I tie in and not with a lot of I've
always been a cardigan girl, so that's my thing. But
I do look like a grandma hunched over with my
giant UH sweaters. But yeah, it's kind of like, yeah,
this is who I am. Enjoy it, deal with it. Uh.
(07:36):
And for the longest time, because I was so ashamed
of my body, I didn't want to buy clothes in
my size because it felt like at the feet and
it felt hurtful just to think about it because of
the stigma behind UH those sizes, and even embarrassment to
check out UH at the register because I don't want
them to see what size it is, and then feeling
like but if I actually wear clothes my size, I
(07:57):
look better, you know what I mean? Right? And so
like going back and forth of like all these levels
of trying to figure this out, and yeah, we've been
coming out more recently as in fact, I had a
wedding in November, so I had to dress a dress
up and I'm like, this is my nightmare, right, I
wore a poncho. Well, that's the thing is there's so much,
(08:20):
so much here that we've talked about that we could unpack.
Of like you feel judged for wearing clothes that are
quote too tight and then clothes that are quote to loose,
because that implies that you're not comfortable with your body,
even though that might be your most comfortable state. And
then like one thing I've noticed, and we've talked about
this before too, is my boobs feel a lot bigger
(08:43):
and Michael, which they are, but it's like they shouldn't
feel so embarrassing to me, but they are. And I know,
like we've talked about that. We've talked about that ad
length of like people with bigger boobs can't find clothes,
and then when they do, people judge them for being
like too sexual at work or whatever. Um. So it's
just like it's been interesting. Um. I'm also kind of
(09:05):
unwilling to get a whole new wardrobe. Um, other than
like sweatpants, which I bought some d I've been buying
T shirts and I haven't even I don't even wear
T shirts like that. Like typically I used to just
not wear those. I would wear like a little more
fancy or like button up shirts or whatever. And now
that I'm like, teachers are great. Also because I hate
(09:28):
people reading things off my chest, which is where usually
the logos go or whatever is happening, because it makes
me so self conscious. Growing up, I hated it because
it made me so self conscious. Of course, this has
a lot to do with trauma, so mean, sexualized as
an Asian woman, all of those things. So I definitely
it took me a long time to be like, oh,
(09:48):
but these are so comfortable. T shirts are so great. Yeah, yeah,
me too. My mom and I were joking about that
ever this recent break because I remember when I is
in high school, we had a conversation together I would
have been high school, it had been early college um,
where she was like, you know, you never wear logos
in your shirt and I don't either, and I was like, yeah,
(10:08):
I just kind of like to be bland and fit in,
and now all I do is like where soar shirts.
She was like, yeah, You've made a big change. I
like it. I was like, oh, thanks. The level of
confidence there's so many things to unpack with them, like
placements of things like that and what we want to
talk about, especially for those who do have breasts UM
(10:29):
in general. But I do find it fascinating and I
think something that we're going to come back on UM
is this trend UH swaying and we've talked about before
swaying back to the whole skinny body look and the
new diet fat of taking UM the diabetic medication shots,
which is two fold of like, why are you doing
(10:51):
this to people with diabetes and why are you doing
this to normal people who are seeing unrealistic expectations of
this UM. And I hate that we're reverting back to
that because it finally came to the point that we are,
I feel not completely because there's still people out there
who are awful when it comes to body image who
UM have not let go of the fact that skinny
(11:14):
does not mean it's healthy. Conversation UM, but that that
we're back to this again and having to fight back
and just finally getting to the point of like people
are understanding this healthy looks for different from different people,
and then it's not our place to judge in general
how people feel about themselves, like even if that is
they do want to lose weight or they don't want
(11:36):
to lose weight or whatever whatever whatnot, UM. And I
hate that we're going back to there, and I think
it's something that we should all be very cautious of
in the conversations UM today because complimenting and I'm not
going to call out who it was who used to
be kind of she was normal looking, she was normal
looking woman and then she has lost all this weight
(11:58):
and we're like, it is in insinuated that she has
used this product, and like everybody's complimenting on her, Like
you need to back up because she looks unhealthy at
this point because it's not her natural body form. I'm
not judging the fact that she wanted to lose weight,
but what she's doing, how she's doing it, and how
she's letting people think that it was all natural. That's
some BS and that's so dangerous for the standards of
(12:21):
where we are today and for the young kids they
got this gen Z years no better, but still yeah,
it's still very insidious and harmful messaging. And it's it's
like everywhere and I was thinking to you about like
(12:46):
there's so many jokes around women typically like oh, she
thinks she can pull that off. R oh she thinks
she can wear that, she doesn't realize she can't wear that.
And I was thinking about that just with um. I
hear that a lot with cosplay because people like to
judge women in cosplay a lot um And and I
(13:09):
also would say there's a lot there's a risk I've
seen of like backhanded compliments, right, I think people are
coming from the right place, but they'll essentially I got
one that was like, I've always wanted to embrace my
camel to like you do. And I was like, whoa,
my one camel too? What Well, that was one of
(13:34):
those things where I didn't even notice and now I'm like, oh, well,
I've never noticed that on you. Well well, I mean
also it's kind of like yeah, yeah, but it was
lit comfortable around them from there, and I'm like, what
you look at bro, Yeah yeah, but you know, I'm
(13:55):
pretty sure that a broad But still I was out.
I was at walking today and I was just like
so comfortable. But it's just those things that like lodge
in your head, um about people making comments about your body.
So I wish can we just not do that anymore.
Let's not even for it as a compliment. Let's just
(14:15):
leave it be. You want to say you look good,
that's the don't give specifics. Look good in a genuine tone.
Not you look happy, you looked at it. You look
well rested? How about that? Yeah? Yeah, I don't know.
(14:36):
It's just been kind of adjustment and I'm still working
it out. And then I also was kind of one
thing we didn't get to talk about during our epic
holiday movie discussion. Oh yeah, um was there was a
moment and while you were sleeping where uh, Sandra Block's
character is like older and single, um, older, but it's
(14:59):
implied that she late twenties. Yeah, but it's implied that
like she's an old spinster. Yes, And there's like the
whole idea because she's single during the holidays, you'll do
the work. And then there's that scene where she's like
eating the oreos and I don't know, mac and cheese
or something. Um, And so I'm trying I'm still trying
(15:19):
to wrap my mind around this idea also of like
being this still older single person that like goes out
to all of these things. And I think that kind
of like idea of oh, she's sloppy, can get tied
into that. Um. But I haven't like formulated. I've had
a lot of like big thought breakthroughs during the holidays,
(15:39):
Samantha knows. Most of them were nerdy in nature. But
I was really thinking about some things and I was
like writing essays and I was like, wait, why are
you running essays? Are you and essays? You're like for
what purpose? And I was like, because oh, you are
dedicated writer. That's that's where that comes in. I'm a writer,
(16:02):
and I also like to be able. I like to
be ready to defend my opinion and a lot of
times if I'm surprised with a question, then I kind
of shut down because I'm like, well, I got to
think about it from all these angles. So I like
to like already formulate my thoughts. In case Bybone wants
to ask me about Anakin Skywalker at any point, I
am already, Oh I love it. Yeah, yeah. But I
(16:28):
think also during New Years, during this time, this has
when a lot of those like weight loss and exercise
things come in, which if that's what you want in
a healthy way, then I'm all for it. But it's
a lot. It's just a lot that's all I think.
I'm with you, like just I do a lot of
reflection of the year, and we did this as an
(16:50):
episode about like looking at at the past and the
big things and small things, you know, all the questions, um,
trying to be profound and trying to be thoughtful, um,
very purposeful for the next year, because you really think
you have control over that and that's not true, which
is hilarious to me because when we come back to
these were like, yeah, that did not happen. Um. So
(17:10):
it's always a fun risk, but it is. There are
things that you hope will happen. There's things that you
hope doesn't happen, but that does put you into the
state of like, Okay, I have no control about this.
How do I control this? Yeah? Yeah, And that's the thing,
Like this is a bigger topic that I won't get
into too much in this, but I've talked about it before,
(17:32):
Like when it comes to wait, a lot of it
feels like it's out of my control, even though I
know the things to do, UM, it just feels like
it's something I can't necessarily control, and that kind of
puts me in the state of like almost panic around it.
(17:53):
A lot, So I don't know. I would just as
we always say in these um you know, we love
you out there, and I would urge you to take
care of yourself and kind of examine like like I'm
trying to do what what do you really want and
what it's healthy and what is reasonable? And I don't know, because, like,
like I said, one of the biggest things for me
here was I kind of I was like, huh, I
(18:17):
sort of stopped worrying about that. I love it. That's
a great place, and I hope you can remain there. Yeah.
I think it's gonna be hard, too hard on it. Yeah, yeah,
for sure. I think it's gonna be like it's just
because I've been inside by myself or with you most
of the time. But I think was like, go out
into the real world a lot more. It's going to
be a lot harder, but it will do it. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(18:40):
But you know, cheers and happy New Year. Ye yes,
And to all of you listeners, you would love to
hear from you. If you have any thoughts about this, uh,
you can contact us at our email just Stephanie, your mom.
Stuff that I hurt me to dot com. You can
find us on Twitter, at Mom's of Podcast, or an
Instagram steff One never told you. Thanks as always to
(19:01):
our super producer Costuda, Happy New Year, Christina, Happy New Year,
and thanks to you for listening. So who never told
the protection of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts on
my heart Radio, you can check out your heart radio app,
Apple podcast or ever listen to your favorite shows.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. They're welcome to stuff
I never told you, protection of iHeart Radio, and welcome
to our first recording of twenty three. So if we
are rusty, bear with us. Hey, that's my theme song
(00:27):
for life. I'm always rusty. I recorded with Savor for
the first time of the year yesterday and it was
not good. Like, why did I lose everything I know
over the s fan of like one week? Anyway, I'm
We're all working it out, working it out. Happy New Year, everybody,
(00:47):
This is our first happy hour of the year. Also, um,
as always with these, drink responsibly. Well are you sipping on, Samantha,
I am actually drinking something that you gave me Christmas. Um.
It is the Anna Green Gables Tea. So the Anna
Green Tea Gables, yes, which I'm assuming is yes, um,
(01:13):
and it's from y'all. I'm trying to read it off
and I'm in a dark part of my office and
I can't see, so band with me as I try
to read this off. It is from novelty Tens dot com.
M that's the site, and it is a green tea
with orange pill raspberry pieces and natural flavor. So I'm
trying to be all natural moderate caffeine, also trying to
(01:36):
be caffeinated because that is the new year. Am I right?
Am I right? Yeah? So far that's been my experience.
Um well, I'm continuing to drink red wine out of
a box. Yeah, read read every time. Yeah, I know
you can't not do it. And I don't know that
I've ever heard that song, but I've seen a parody
(01:57):
of that song. Really the song today, Oh perfect, excellent.
Then you will never stop singing it no matter what. Well,
that's going to benefit both of us. So this is
a topic I want to talk about. I will say
I don't think we're gonna go too much into it,
but um there might We talked around like weight and eating.
(02:19):
So if that's especially around this time of year. If
that's not what you want to hear, understand, I don't
think we're gonna go too much into it, but might
we might. Uh. And this is actually something that would
have been I wrote this forever Agot like wrote I
wrote bullet points for it forever ago. These are much
less structured than our full episodes. Um, but it was
it was because of parties, like going out of parties
and hang out with people. This is something that occasionally
(02:44):
I just feel, and I definitely felt it more lately
because I'm talking about this whole idea of being like
the sloppy not even drunk, but just like the sloppy
person in a group. And I feel like I've just
had so many experience is recently because I have gained
weight during the pandemic um and I just mostly wear
(03:05):
the same thing. I change it up every now and then,
but generally the same kind of like T shirt, leggings.
I feel like you dress up more than I do,
so I'm worry I would disagree. Really, I feel like
when I'm around you, though, I feel very comfortable, so
I don't dress up. But that's that's what I'm saying.
Like when we go out, I always like you're more
(03:27):
dressed up than I am. I'm casually all the all
the time. Same And because I wear helled boots, people
think I'm fancy. You know, I'm just short and I
like killed boots. Like that's well, yeah, there's like a
theme to your outfit, and I'm like, hey, black, but
isn't my theme? Like Star Wars well sometimes and then
(03:49):
there's Spider Verse, and then there's last of us. You
do like the undercover cosplay all the time. I actually,
I think that's been my main theme during the pantomick,
Like clothing during the pandemic has been like very subtle
cosplay all the time. I love it. It's not so subtle. Well, see,
that's the thing. I love it too. And most of
the time I'm very secure and like maybe very secureity strong.
(04:13):
But most of the time I'm either too tired or
I don't care what other people think that I'm wearing
essentially cosplay, essentially pajamas, um out and about. But I've
had because we were going out more at the end
of the year, I had a couple of instances where
I was like, oh, I wonder if that's how people
see me. And I think one of the big things
(04:34):
was like at one at one event, I wore a
dress that I'm pretty sure it was pretty sea through
when I was wearing like a braw and underwear. It
wasn't like naked under it. But I had somebody like
a friend of mine, very kindly, because you do want
to know that stuff, say you know, hey, you can
kind of see through it, And I really didn't care,
and it was kind of a weird moment of like
(04:55):
should I care? Maybe I should. I'm glad to know,
but it was like a weird I just had to
kind of disconnect between I honestly was like, okay, but
should I care? And this has been this has been
something we should revisit because I keep seeing headlines about
celebrities that are wearing c through things and We're getting
(05:17):
so much attention and I'm kind of perplexed by the
whole thing. But anyway, that was something. And then I'm
just like worn clothes that I know are too small
for me because again I gained weight, but I also
really don't care. Um that I had somebody mentioned that,
like the side game situation, Okay, I was like, what
what did who said this? Okay, no, no, no, no no.
(05:44):
And it's like, generally because that is a good thing
when a trusted friend can tell you just so you know, hey,
here's this. Um. I think it's more like it's like
I'm coming out of a dream of this pandemic of
what I did before and what I do now, and
now I don't care. And I feel like that's fine.
(06:09):
But sometimes I'm like, hmmmm, it seems like people are
still worried about these things, right, I think, yeah, I'm
I'm with you on that because I do care to
a certain degree of like I try to not look
so from people, but that's kind of how I dress.
I don't mean to. It's just because I like way
a large things and I'm tired of trying to h
(06:30):
be cutely. And I have also gained a lot of
weight during the pandemic. And I say a lot of
weight because I've lost I had lost a lot of
weight right before, and it was due to depression, so
it wasn't healthy anyway. But believe me, I got all
the compliments and I have a stigma about that, and
we've talked about that before. And now I'm like, okay,
I don't one of the things, uh, convenience wise, because
(06:51):
I had lost all that weight. So I started getting
really excited, even though it wasn't a good way. And
I got the new clothes and now I cannot fit
into those clothes. That also reverted reverted back to the
old clothes that got didn't throw those away, um, and
then it even bought like really uh better clothes like
that actually are supposed to fit me and they are
absally supposed to be nice quality and I had to
(07:12):
get a bigger side, you know that that felt some
type of way. But at the same time, like, yeah,
I don't care, like I just I'm going to wear
that big sweater. I'm gonna wear the T shirt that
I tie in and not with a lot of I've
always been a cardigan girl, so that's my thing. But
I do look like a grandma hunched over with my
giant UH sweaters. But yeah, it's kind of like, yeah,
this is who I am. Enjoy it, deal with it. Uh.
(07:36):
And for the longest time, because I was so ashamed
of my body, I didn't want to buy clothes in
my size because it felt like at the feet and
it felt hurtful just to think about it because of
the stigma behind UH those sizes, and even embarrassment to
check out UH at the register because I don't want
them to see what size it is, and then feeling
like but if I actually wear clothes my size, I
(07:57):
look better, you know what I mean? Right? And so
like going back and forth of like all these levels
of trying to figure this out, and yeah, we've been
coming out more recently as in fact, I had a
wedding in November, so I had to dress a dress
up and I'm like, this is my nightmare, right, I
wore a poncho. Well, that's the thing is there's so much,
(08:20):
so much here that we've talked about that we could unpack.
Of like you feel judged for wearing clothes that are
quote too tight and then clothes that are quote to loose,
because that implies that you're not comfortable with your body,
even though that might be your most comfortable state. And
then like one thing I've noticed, and we've talked about
this before too, is my boobs feel a lot bigger
(08:43):
and Michael, which they are, but it's like they shouldn't
feel so embarrassing to me, but they are. And I know,
like we've talked about that. We've talked about that ad
length of like people with bigger boobs can't find clothes,
and then when they do, people judge them for being
like too sexual at work or whatever. Um. So it's
just like it's been interesting. Um. I'm also kind of
(09:05):
unwilling to get a whole new wardrobe. Um, other than
like sweatpants, which I bought some d I've been buying
T shirts and I haven't even I don't even wear
T shirts like that. Like typically I used to just
not wear those. I would wear like a little more
fancy or like button up shirts or whatever. And now
that I'm like, teachers are great. Also because I hate
(09:28):
people reading things off my chest, which is where usually
the logos go or whatever is happening, because it makes
me so self conscious. Growing up, I hated it because
it made me so self conscious. Of course, this has
a lot to do with trauma, so mean, sexualized as
an Asian woman, all of those things. So I definitely
it took me a long time to be like, oh,
(09:48):
but these are so comfortable. T shirts are so great. Yeah, yeah,
me too. My mom and I were joking about that
ever this recent break because I remember when I is
in high school, we had a conversation together I would
have been high school, it had been early college um,
where she was like, you know, you never wear logos
in your shirt and I don't either, and I was like, yeah,
(10:08):
I just kind of like to be bland and fit in,
and now all I do is like where soar shirts.
She was like, yeah, You've made a big change. I
like it. I was like, oh, thanks. The level of
confidence there's so many things to unpack with them, like
placements of things like that and what we want to
talk about, especially for those who do have breasts UM
(10:29):
in general. But I do find it fascinating and I
think something that we're going to come back on UM
is this trend UH swaying and we've talked about before
swaying back to the whole skinny body look and the
new diet fat of taking UM the diabetic medication shots,
which is two fold of like, why are you doing
(10:51):
this to people with diabetes and why are you doing
this to normal people who are seeing unrealistic expectations of
this UM. And I hate that we're reverting back to
that because it finally came to the point that we are,
I feel not completely because there's still people out there
who are awful when it comes to body image who
UM have not let go of the fact that skinny
(11:14):
does not mean it's healthy. Conversation UM, but that that
we're back to this again and having to fight back
and just finally getting to the point of like people
are understanding this healthy looks for different from different people,
and then it's not our place to judge in general
how people feel about themselves, like even if that is
they do want to lose weight or they don't want
(11:36):
to lose weight or whatever whatever whatnot, UM. And I
hate that we're going back to there, and I think
it's something that we should all be very cautious of
in the conversations UM today because complimenting and I'm not
going to call out who it was who used to
be kind of she was normal looking, she was normal
looking woman and then she has lost all this weight
(11:58):
and we're like, it is in insinuated that she has
used this product, and like everybody's complimenting on her, Like
you need to back up because she looks unhealthy at
this point because it's not her natural body form. I'm
not judging the fact that she wanted to lose weight,
but what she's doing, how she's doing it, and how
she's letting people think that it was all natural. That's
some BS and that's so dangerous for the standards of
(12:21):
where we are today and for the young kids they
got this gen Z years no better, but still yeah,
it's still very insidious and harmful messaging. And it's it's
like everywhere and I was thinking to you about like
(12:46):
there's so many jokes around women typically like oh, she
thinks she can pull that off. R oh she thinks
she can wear that, she doesn't realize she can't wear that.
And I was thinking about that just with um. I
hear that a lot with cosplay because people like to
judge women in cosplay a lot um And and I
(13:09):
also would say there's a lot there's a risk I've
seen of like backhanded compliments, right, I think people are
coming from the right place, but they'll essentially I got
one that was like, I've always wanted to embrace my
camel to like you do. And I was like, whoa,
my one camel too? What Well, that was one of
(13:34):
those things where I didn't even notice and now I'm like, oh, well,
I've never noticed that on you. Well well, I mean
also it's kind of like yeah, yeah, but it was
lit comfortable around them from there, and I'm like, what
you look at bro, Yeah yeah, but you know, I'm
(13:55):
pretty sure that a broad But still I was out.
I was at walking today and I was just like
so comfortable. But it's just those things that like lodge
in your head, um about people making comments about your body.
So I wish can we just not do that anymore.
Let's not even for it as a compliment. Let's just
(14:15):
leave it be. You want to say you look good,
that's the don't give specifics. Look good in a genuine tone.
Not you look happy, you looked at it. You look
well rested? How about that? Yeah? Yeah, I don't know.
(14:36):
It's just been kind of adjustment and I'm still working
it out. And then I also was kind of one
thing we didn't get to talk about during our epic
holiday movie discussion. Oh yeah, um was there was a
moment and while you were sleeping where uh, Sandra Block's
character is like older and single, um, older, but it's
(14:59):
implied that she late twenties. Yeah, but it's implied that
like she's an old spinster. Yes, And there's like the
whole idea because she's single during the holidays, you'll do
the work. And then there's that scene where she's like
eating the oreos and I don't know, mac and cheese
or something. Um, And so I'm trying I'm still trying
(15:19):
to wrap my mind around this idea also of like
being this still older single person that like goes out
to all of these things. And I think that kind
of like idea of oh, she's sloppy, can get tied
into that. Um. But I haven't like formulated. I've had
a lot of like big thought breakthroughs during the holidays,
(15:39):
Samantha knows. Most of them were nerdy in nature. But
I was really thinking about some things and I was
like writing essays and I was like, wait, why are
you running essays? Are you and essays? You're like for
what purpose? And I was like, because oh, you are
dedicated writer. That's that's where that comes in. I'm a writer,
(16:02):
and I also like to be able. I like to
be ready to defend my opinion and a lot of
times if I'm surprised with a question, then I kind
of shut down because I'm like, well, I got to
think about it from all these angles. So I like
to like already formulate my thoughts. In case Bybone wants
to ask me about Anakin Skywalker at any point, I
am already, Oh I love it. Yeah, yeah. But I
(16:28):
think also during New Years, during this time, this has
when a lot of those like weight loss and exercise
things come in, which if that's what you want in
a healthy way, then I'm all for it. But it's
a lot. It's just a lot that's all I think.
I'm with you, like just I do a lot of
reflection of the year, and we did this as an
(16:50):
episode about like looking at at the past and the
big things and small things, you know, all the questions, um,
trying to be profound and trying to be thoughtful, um,
very purposeful for the next year, because you really think
you have control over that and that's not true, which
is hilarious to me because when we come back to
these were like, yeah, that did not happen. Um. So
(17:10):
it's always a fun risk, but it is. There are
things that you hope will happen. There's things that you
hope doesn't happen, but that does put you into the
state of like, Okay, I have no control about this.
How do I control this? Yeah? Yeah, And that's the thing,
Like this is a bigger topic that I won't get
into too much in this, but I've talked about it before,
(17:32):
Like when it comes to wait, a lot of it
feels like it's out of my control, even though I
know the things to do, UM, it just feels like
it's something I can't necessarily control, and that kind of
puts me in the state of like almost panic around it.
(17:53):
A lot, So I don't know. I would just as
we always say in these um you know, we love
you out there, and I would urge you to take
care of yourself and kind of examine like like I'm
trying to do what what do you really want and
what it's healthy and what is reasonable? And I don't know, because, like,
like I said, one of the biggest things for me
here was I kind of I was like, huh, I
(18:17):
sort of stopped worrying about that. I love it. That's
a great place, and I hope you can remain there. Yeah.
I think it's gonna be hard, too hard on it. Yeah, yeah,
for sure. I think it's gonna be like it's just
because I've been inside by myself or with you most
of the time. But I think was like, go out
into the real world a lot more. It's going to
be a lot harder, but it will do it. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(18:40):
But you know, cheers and happy New Year. Ye yes,
And to all of you listeners, you would love to
hear from you. If you have any thoughts about this, uh,
you can contact us at our email just Stephanie, your mom.
Stuff that I hurt me to dot com. You can
find us on Twitter, at Mom's of Podcast, or an
Instagram steff One never told you. Thanks as always to
(19:01):
our super producer Costuda, Happy New Year, Christina, Happy New Year,
and thanks to you for listening. So who never told
the protection of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts on
my heart Radio, you can check out your heart radio app,
Apple podcast or ever listen to your favorite shows.
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