July 10, 2025 • 12 mins
Asking for help is one thing. What about accepting it? Where is the line when it comes to asking too much?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff
I'll never told you production if I hurried you. And
welcome to another edition of Happy Hour. As always with these,
if you choose to drink or whatever you choose to do,
please do so responsibly. Are you sipping on anything, Samantha.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I've sipping on my bubble water with a little bit
of electrolyts.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
But you nice, I've got water with lemon, but I've
also got my trusty red wine.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
It's a long recording day for us because we're trying
to take vacation. What I know, as you know, sometimes
when I'm combing through classics, it cracks me up how
many times we have like the same topic around the
same I'm like, oh, this was in May it's a
Star Wars month, or yeah yeah, but around July there's
(00:58):
usually something about complaining about how difficult it for us
to take vacation.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Oh yeah, yes, but.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
We are tempting it. I did have I'm not proud
of it, but I had kind of a mini tantrum
by myself, so nobody else was subjected to it, but
I was like, everybody was talking about how excited they
were to go on vacation. I was like, all I
feel is stress, but that's not really what we're talking
(01:29):
about today. But it does relate to what we're talking
about today, Okay, because this is another topic that I
discussed a year ago. I think where it was around
I was talking about enforcing boundaries but also asking for
help and how that was something that was kind of
new to me. Today, I want to do a bit
(01:51):
of a revisit to that, but also talking about accepting
help because I have had a lot of instances lately
where I've had some health issues and I just it
was really difficult for me to ask for help, and
I didn't in a lot of ways. But then I
(02:13):
started to, like, I started to say, you know, I
really can't do this today. I just can't do it,
or even with my ear thing, I'm sorry. I've gotten
better about being like, can I please sit here? So
I've gotten better about the asking, and now I've moved
on to the accepting where you don't feel guilty or
(02:34):
you're not always being like did I ask for too much?
Or what is it? Every now and then, when I'm
writing fan fiction, I catch myself writing something where I'm like, oh,
you're clearly working through something right now. And I just
wrote a chapter wherein there's a whole section that was like,
you know, one character was saying to the other, see
(02:57):
how easy it was to ask for help. Now you
have to learn to accept it. And after I wrote it,
I was like, ah, the old brain is trying to
work through some things. And it's true, it can be difficult.
And I'm always concerned about overstaying my welcome or annoying people,
(03:17):
especially like people getting like she's too much, She's always
asking for too much. But actually one of the reasons
this was on my mind is because you, who are
always so wonderful, You and your partner On the fourth
of July, in the heat, came out to help me
(03:38):
with my car, which by the way, did not start.
If you heard the previous hour, I said, I don't
think it's going to start. It absolutely didn't, and I
was just so like, no, we don't need to do that,
We don't need to do that. But it was such
a nice thing, and it was such a weight off
my mind, exactly, and you know, I would always want
(04:00):
to help you, and so I like to think it
was not a huge deal like I was making it
to this huge deal. Yes, but it was so nice
and I got some fazel out of it.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
This also goes into my other happy hour where I'm like.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
You have basil, I have propagated things and making you
share my joy.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yes, and it was she does have a beautiful garden. Everybody,
I showed it off. But I mean, it's just one
of those things where like, I know it's true. I
know that I personally would love like if somebody I
care about needs help, I want to help them. It's
just hard to sometimes it's just hard to accept it.
(04:45):
And I think I have a couple of friends, possibly you,
who got a little annoyed that I didn't say anything
about my health concerns. Oh yeah, I yelled at you, yeah,
until it was too late, and they were like, you know,
I want to help you. I don't know why you
were making it into this thing where I find out
(05:08):
much later and now I'm very concerned, right, and I
don't know, Like I get check ins like every day
now every day, are you okay? Is everything okay? Which
I really appreciate. So it's a work in progress. It's
a work in progress. I do think that can that
(05:29):
also sort of does relate to us going on vacation
because you know you're asking someone for help. You're asking,
at least in the context of our jobs a lot
of jobs, but in our job specifically, you're asking someone,
Is it okay, I actually want to take time off
and not be working on my break? And of course absolutely, Christina,
(05:54):
take the break, Please take the break. But when it's
I don't know, when it's you, it feels more difficult.
I think that kind of ties back into the whole
sort of what we talked about with going to the
doctor is I don't want people to think I'm making
(06:18):
a big deal with things. I don't want to draw
attention to things right.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Now.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I have time to tell you before, and we've done
this before.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
If it was the opposite, if I did these things,
you would be upset. And a part of our anxiety
is that we or even like our need for being
helped is being asked to help, Like if you don't,
then I feel like I failed you as a friend,
that there's some distrust happening. And also, like with the
(06:57):
whole vacation thing, I'm like, oh no, we set a
really bad example. I feel like for some people and
when we're like, yeah, we constantly work. It's a constant
work thing. We don't technically take breaks. We take breaks,
don't get me wrong, But we also have modes of
like no, but if you need me. But we're also
going to enter these emails. We're also going to listen
to these episodes, you know, things like that we're still working.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Yeah, both those things apply.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Like we want to be help remember that, so when
you do ask for help, there is this like realization
for a lot of us. For me, maybe maybe it's
just me and my need to be helpful and anxiety
is like, oh, you trust me and not to tell
you what's going on.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Wonderful. I'm glad to ask for help.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
So that's one and then the other part is like,
please don't take my example and take a break or Sina,
don't we really have no judgments in you being like
I might not be reachable.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
No, no, don't be reachable. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yeah? Yeah, And to be clear, like this is uh,
I actually find this as progress, but it is an
ongoing thing. I do trust you. It is just a
I am very concerned that people will be like she
has too much or she's asking for too much, which
(08:09):
this is not that, but people do do that. So
also be mindful of when you're asking for help and
like how and how the other person is to spread
it about.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yes, yeah, And.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
I mean sometimes it's just like I really need help
right now and there can't be any questions. But but
you know, if you're constantly taking advantage of somebody's desire
to be helpful, that is a that is a problem.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
That I hope.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
That's clearly not what's happening with me, I hope, but
but that that is a separate issue. And I do
know people do that, But I feel like I'm becoming
more willing to accept help when it is offered to me.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Yes, to be fair, I told you the plan you
would did okay. Like I was like, we're doing this
this night, you're staying over, You're going to do this
with us, and then next day we're taking you home
and I'm doing this, my partner's going to do this
and this We've already set it up and you're like okay.
And then the next day I'm like, Basil.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I'm gonna send you Basil. You're like okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
It was acceptance.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It was confused acceptance.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
It was acceptance.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
This is true. It's true. I'll acknowledge it. You didn't
fight me on it.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
I did not that that I'll give you like the
day that I asked, because the week before I had
planned to go, uh to a little small trip and
I was leaving early morning, like I can come before
and I can come crank and help you.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
We'll figure that out together.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
And you were like no, no, I'm okay. So then
when I was like, did you do it? And you're
like no, I got to make a plan for you.
I gave you four opportunities.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
It's time.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah. I mean maybe it's slow, it's baby steps.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Baby, but you did good. You did good.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
And because when we got out there, because my partner
is extra, if he sees extra things that need to
be done, he's gonna do it. He's like, I'm gonna
take it. I'm gonna drop around. He even offered to
wash it and he really wants to. He's actually gonna
do this one day. I think he's gonna come kidnap
your car and then carnap your car and wash it
for you and bring it back like he has a plan.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
He replaced by Winsfield wife or would he drove it around.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
It's like, look, you need to be doing this, and
he's a good partner, like yeah, but I feel like
very good. The three of us are such a good
like as a group anyway, that makes it.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
It makes it easier and I'm like, yeah, he's definitely
doing that.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
And then the extra but Andy, it worked out for
us because we went right down the street to where
one of our old restaurants has now become like a
sandwich restaurant.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Was so good, nice but good, No, it was.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Delicious nice ten ten recommends we're gonna go back. Okay,
so you know it worked out for us to well.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
That makes me feel even better. But I have to
say my heart was filled with warmth and affection.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
So I have you started it this week?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
You promised us you would.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I will on Friday. It's on my calendar. I won't
let it go so bad again. Well anyway, anyway, thank
you so much. Tell your partner thank you too. Yes,
I really appreciated it. And listeners, please write in if
you can relate to any of this, If you have
any tips about any of this, because I am still
(11:34):
work in progress, but progress has been made. Email us
at Hello at stuff I Never Told You dot com.
You can also find us on Blue Skype, Momster podcast
or in Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never Told
You for us on YouTube and we have a look
you can get here you get your books. Thanks and
always to our super dus Christina Exect to my ant architrict.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
For Joey, Thank you and thanks you.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
For listening Stuff I Never Told You production by heart Idio.
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
out the Heart Radio a couple podcasts wherever you listen
to your favorite shows
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff
I'll never told you production if I hurried you. And
welcome to another edition of Happy Hour. As always with these,
if you choose to drink or whatever you choose to do,
please do so responsibly. Are you sipping on anything, Samantha.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I've sipping on my bubble water with a little bit
of electrolyts.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
But you nice, I've got water with lemon, but I've
also got my trusty red wine.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
It's a long recording day for us because we're trying
to take vacation. What I know, as you know, sometimes
when I'm combing through classics, it cracks me up how
many times we have like the same topic around the
same I'm like, oh, this was in May it's a
Star Wars month, or yeah yeah, but around July there's
(00:58):
usually something about complaining about how difficult it for us
to take vacation.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Oh yeah, yes, but.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
We are tempting it. I did have I'm not proud
of it, but I had kind of a mini tantrum
by myself, so nobody else was subjected to it, but
I was like, everybody was talking about how excited they
were to go on vacation. I was like, all I
feel is stress, but that's not really what we're talking
(01:29):
about today. But it does relate to what we're talking
about today, Okay, because this is another topic that I
discussed a year ago. I think where it was around
I was talking about enforcing boundaries but also asking for
help and how that was something that was kind of
new to me. Today, I want to do a bit
(01:51):
of a revisit to that, but also talking about accepting
help because I have had a lot of instances lately
where I've had some health issues and I just it
was really difficult for me to ask for help, and
I didn't in a lot of ways. But then I
(02:13):
started to, like, I started to say, you know, I
really can't do this today. I just can't do it,
or even with my ear thing, I'm sorry. I've gotten
better about being like, can I please sit here? So
I've gotten better about the asking, and now I've moved
on to the accepting where you don't feel guilty or
(02:34):
you're not always being like did I ask for too much?
Or what is it? Every now and then, when I'm
writing fan fiction, I catch myself writing something where I'm like, oh,
you're clearly working through something right now. And I just
wrote a chapter wherein there's a whole section that was like,
you know, one character was saying to the other, see
(02:57):
how easy it was to ask for help. Now you
have to learn to accept it. And after I wrote it,
I was like, ah, the old brain is trying to
work through some things. And it's true, it can be difficult.
And I'm always concerned about overstaying my welcome or annoying people,
(03:17):
especially like people getting like she's too much, She's always
asking for too much. But actually one of the reasons
this was on my mind is because you, who are
always so wonderful, You and your partner On the fourth
of July, in the heat, came out to help me
(03:38):
with my car, which by the way, did not start.
If you heard the previous hour, I said, I don't
think it's going to start. It absolutely didn't, and I
was just so like, no, we don't need to do that,
We don't need to do that. But it was such
a nice thing, and it was such a weight off
my mind, exactly, and you know, I would always want
(04:00):
to help you, and so I like to think it
was not a huge deal like I was making it
to this huge deal. Yes, but it was so nice
and I got some fazel out of it.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
This also goes into my other happy hour where I'm like.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
You have basil, I have propagated things and making you
share my joy.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yes, and it was she does have a beautiful garden. Everybody,
I showed it off. But I mean, it's just one
of those things where like, I know it's true. I
know that I personally would love like if somebody I
care about needs help, I want to help them. It's
just hard to sometimes it's just hard to accept it.
(04:45):
And I think I have a couple of friends, possibly you,
who got a little annoyed that I didn't say anything
about my health concerns. Oh yeah, I yelled at you, yeah,
until it was too late, and they were like, you know,
I want to help you. I don't know why you
were making it into this thing where I find out
(05:08):
much later and now I'm very concerned, right, and I
don't know, Like I get check ins like every day
now every day, are you okay? Is everything okay? Which
I really appreciate. So it's a work in progress. It's
a work in progress. I do think that can that
(05:29):
also sort of does relate to us going on vacation
because you know you're asking someone for help. You're asking,
at least in the context of our jobs a lot
of jobs, but in our job specifically, you're asking someone,
Is it okay, I actually want to take time off
and not be working on my break? And of course absolutely, Christina,
(05:54):
take the break, Please take the break. But when it's
I don't know, when it's you, it feels more difficult.
I think that kind of ties back into the whole
sort of what we talked about with going to the
doctor is I don't want people to think I'm making
(06:18):
a big deal with things. I don't want to draw
attention to things right.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Now.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I have time to tell you before, and we've done
this before.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
If it was the opposite, if I did these things,
you would be upset. And a part of our anxiety
is that we or even like our need for being
helped is being asked to help, Like if you don't,
then I feel like I failed you as a friend,
that there's some distrust happening. And also, like with the
(06:57):
whole vacation thing, I'm like, oh no, we set a
really bad example. I feel like for some people and
when we're like, yeah, we constantly work. It's a constant
work thing. We don't technically take breaks. We take breaks,
don't get me wrong, But we also have modes of
like no, but if you need me. But we're also
going to enter these emails. We're also going to listen
to these episodes, you know, things like that we're still working.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Yeah, both those things apply.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Like we want to be help remember that, so when
you do ask for help, there is this like realization
for a lot of us. For me, maybe maybe it's
just me and my need to be helpful and anxiety
is like, oh, you trust me and not to tell
you what's going on.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Wonderful. I'm glad to ask for help.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
So that's one and then the other part is like,
please don't take my example and take a break or Sina,
don't we really have no judgments in you being like
I might not be reachable.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
No, no, don't be reachable. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yeah? Yeah, And to be clear, like this is uh,
I actually find this as progress, but it is an
ongoing thing. I do trust you. It is just a
I am very concerned that people will be like she
has too much or she's asking for too much, which
(08:09):
this is not that, but people do do that. So
also be mindful of when you're asking for help and
like how and how the other person is to spread
it about.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yes, yeah, And.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
I mean sometimes it's just like I really need help
right now and there can't be any questions. But but
you know, if you're constantly taking advantage of somebody's desire
to be helpful, that is a that is a problem.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
That I hope.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
That's clearly not what's happening with me, I hope, but
but that that is a separate issue. And I do
know people do that, But I feel like I'm becoming
more willing to accept help when it is offered to me.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Yes, to be fair, I told you the plan you
would did okay. Like I was like, we're doing this
this night, you're staying over, You're going to do this
with us, and then next day we're taking you home
and I'm doing this, my partner's going to do this
and this We've already set it up and you're like okay.
And then the next day I'm like, Basil.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I'm gonna send you Basil. You're like okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
It was acceptance.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It was confused acceptance.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
It was acceptance.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
This is true. It's true. I'll acknowledge it. You didn't
fight me on it.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
I did not that that I'll give you like the
day that I asked, because the week before I had
planned to go, uh to a little small trip and
I was leaving early morning, like I can come before
and I can come crank and help you.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
We'll figure that out together.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
And you were like no, no, I'm okay. So then
when I was like, did you do it? And you're
like no, I got to make a plan for you.
I gave you four opportunities.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
It's time.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah. I mean maybe it's slow, it's baby steps.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Baby, but you did good. You did good.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
And because when we got out there, because my partner
is extra, if he sees extra things that need to
be done, he's gonna do it. He's like, I'm gonna
take it. I'm gonna drop around. He even offered to
wash it and he really wants to. He's actually gonna
do this one day. I think he's gonna come kidnap
your car and then carnap your car and wash it
for you and bring it back like he has a plan.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
He replaced by Winsfield wife or would he drove it around.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
It's like, look, you need to be doing this, and
he's a good partner, like yeah, but I feel like
very good. The three of us are such a good
like as a group anyway, that makes it.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
It makes it easier and I'm like, yeah, he's definitely
doing that.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
And then the extra but Andy, it worked out for
us because we went right down the street to where
one of our old restaurants has now become like a
sandwich restaurant.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Was so good, nice but good, No, it was.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Delicious nice ten ten recommends we're gonna go back. Okay,
so you know it worked out for us to well.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
That makes me feel even better. But I have to
say my heart was filled with warmth and affection.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
So I have you started it this week?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
You promised us you would.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I will on Friday. It's on my calendar. I won't
let it go so bad again. Well anyway, anyway, thank
you so much. Tell your partner thank you too. Yes,
I really appreciated it. And listeners, please write in if
you can relate to any of this, If you have
any tips about any of this, because I am still
(11:34):
work in progress, but progress has been made. Email us
at Hello at stuff I Never Told You dot com.
You can also find us on Blue Skype, Momster podcast
or in Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never Told
You for us on YouTube and we have a look
you can get here you get your books. Thanks and
always to our super dus Christina Exect to my ant architrict.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
For Joey, Thank you and thanks you.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
For listening Stuff I Never Told You production by heart Idio.
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
out the Heart Radio a couple podcasts wherever you listen
to your favorite shows
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