November 20, 2025 • 34 mins
Adulting these days looks different, and can feel like a lot. As the holidays approach, we chat about the impact our politics are having on adulting.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff when
never told your prediction of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
And welcome to another edition of happy Hour, or as
I would like to call.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
It, be wine. Yeah, it's one of the those.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
So if you need to get some wine, go for
it as an adult, of course, only as an adult.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Yes, it is happy hour.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
So if you are participating in the wine bit or
any other happy hour thing, do so responsibly. We trust
you to make good decisions. Yes, yes, Also if we
talk about any specific.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Company, movie, anything.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Currently not a sponsor, which is a shame. Yep, yep, okay, yep, yep, Annie,
are you sipping on anything?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Well, you gave me a warning that this was a wine.
I gave you a heads up. I gave you a
heads up. This time I did get some wine. I'm
still kind of I had I had quite a life day, everybody,
So I'm still okay.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
The ready that sounded is like I have had quite
a life as if you're like done, have so much
life day.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Life day, the Star Wars holiday that I talked about
on the previous Happy Hours. So but I feel I
feel good and I'm I'm happy to see you.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Sam yes, happy to see you as well.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
We started in about your weekend and I was like,
let's go ahead and jump into the happy hour because essentially,
I'm just going to be complaining about adulting because it's
already stressful, and y'all know, if you're familiar with our show,
familiar with us. When it comes to the holidays, I
despise it, and usually around this time I start coming
(01:53):
in about why I don't like it or what the
anxiety is. I'm going to bypass all that and just
say that's one of the addeds to everything. Yes, holidays
are horrible and I can't stand them, and it's coming
very quickly actually, but it's okay because I feel like
things have gotten easier. Last year and the year before last,
I've been doing the gung ho I'm going to figure
(02:14):
out how I'm gonna like it, and all the things
I'm tried, Like, yeah, I still don't like it. So
this year I'm just giving up, like it's fine. Everything
is fine. I'm see the family, hope everybody's on their
best behavior, enjoy the times that we get to spend together.
Because I don't know if I've shared much about my family,
(02:35):
like as my parents get older. I know, we talked
about that and how odd it is and the sensation
of knowing that we're coming to a point that we
are taking care of our parents because they are regressing,
and whether there's their health or it's their mental capacities
and all of those things. So there's so many things
in that conversation, and I feel like the last two
(02:57):
years I've really seen an escalation of them aging, and
not because they're doing anything wrong, not necessarily dimension noune
of that, which I'm fortunate to see, but because they
are getting older so they're able to do less, but
at the same time they try to push like they
can still do that those same things, and they can't,
so it's physically harming them.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
So a lot of those things. So I'm gonna try
my best to enjoy and not regret.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Any of any losing time with them, spending time and
hopefully making good memories because you know, for all of
the craziness that has happened, all of the disagreements that
we have had, all the things that I still don't
want to talk to them about or be around them about,
like I have definitely any you know, the behind the
scenes had that conversation of like, Okay, they're doing these
(03:45):
conspiracy talks and I can't handle this. I don't have
the mental bandwidth to argue with them about why they
are completely wrong about this. But like, outside of that,
trying to be able because they love me beyond measure,
and I love them beyond measure. They have taken good
care of me and in all of the ways, and
(04:05):
I'm very grateful to have them as my family.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
But yeah, like coming back and.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Forth of like okay, this is this is you starting
to realize you're losing time in essence with that as
well as you know, trying to figure the back and forth.
We talked about what it looks like as a couple
imbalancing those times, especially when other families are out of state,
and what that can look like. So it's definitely like
I'm just gonna go rush forward, not thinking about it.
(04:34):
This is my new strategy, any and just make it
out of December.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Okay, Yeah, that's a new goal. Correct? Is that?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Would we call that a positive a change or just
a change?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I think there are some positives and negatives to the change, yes.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Fair enough, So that's where we are on that.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
But like I don't know about you and any You've
done really well in keeping off of social media for
the most parts, which is really great because I am
being inundated with everyone talking about how we are about
to be in one of the biggest depressions the society
and economically that we have seen in a long time.
(05:21):
I am petrified and like I've been having dreams about
things that could be issues, and y'all already know I've
already had issues and anxiety about the immigration rays that
a happening, even though technically I am a naturalized citizen
and have been for thirty years and so it shouldn't
(05:41):
be an issue. But as we have seen of late,
it really doesn't matter. Citizens who have been born US
citizens are being detained as well, and we've talked about that.
I've been seeing man that was a New York opinion piece,
New York Times opinion piece, which is shocking because New
York Times has not done well.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It's not done well. We haven't even talked about.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
How they're like, oh, the women have ruined the workplace,
and I'm like, wait, it.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Was definitely us, uh huh.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Like there's so many I'm like, I'm gonna assume this
was rage bait. And there's something else to this, I
don't know. But anyway, moving back, but they did interview
three or four people who had been detainees who were
here as they was a quote unquote through due process legally,
and I hate that term in general, that they had
green cars, they had asylum, and they had the visas
(06:32):
and they just didn't want them here or they profiled
them and then made up outrageous claims and charges which
these people who were detained didn't even know about four
weeks later, and the talk about how one man Specifical
talked about he was placed in solitary confinement as an
immigrant detainee who, by the way, again had asylum, but
(06:56):
because they realized their mistake, they stripped him of that
asylum and then came back and held him for.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Like I believe he said, seven weeks.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
But because he was advocating for Muslims in the detention center,
asking for like prayer times and such, he got placed
in solitary confinement. And I'm like, wait, this is what
happens with hardened criminals who incite riots. Well, that's not
actually true. We know the political political spectrum, and we've
talked about the behind the scenes in which in order
to deal with and punish people, they put them in
solitary confinements. And this is the type of torture that
(07:28):
has been researched how long, and yet people within the
punitive system do not want to acknowledge that it is
an inherent torture strategy that should be illegal. But that's
a whole different conversation. Again, this is where I go
with and why and I get real off topic, But
all that to say is like, what is what is
(07:51):
what This man who literally is not doing anything, not
inciting it violence, just speaking out got instead of being heard,
and because they were annoyed, they just put him in
solitary confinement as a person being held with legal papers.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Like, there's so many things to this aspect.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
And these are people who are now out and can
tell their stories and had lawyers and people who could
advocate for them, So imagine what else is happening there?
Like the story was intense, So my social media is
covered in that, which is something that I can't look
away from, nobody should look away from. We should be
(08:29):
talking about right now, especially with what's happening again in
Charlotte in Chicago, in New York, in Portland, all the places,
and apparently the most seville cities in the country. Atlanta
has been allowing access to ICE and federal agents to
these deep state like if you want to go conspiracy theory,
(08:49):
this is where you're like, yeah, I might actually jump
on board with this one, because we are we have
been held as the highest surveillanced city with all of
the cameras that are here, and apparently there were several
reports showing that they were using these cameras which were
only supposed to be for traffic stops or actual accident situations,
are being used by federal law enforcement and ICE and
(09:11):
Immigrations Border Control people to go and find people for
no reason, Like they just find random things and things
that are pulled up maybe incorrect, may have all these information, but.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
They don't care.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
So that's all of that is what I'm seeing onlin
for you page again, as well as the fact that
the economics status in the US is not pretty and
you know who gets it first are all of the
any lower middle class and lower are going to be
people who's going to feel this harder than anybody else
because everybody else gets the bell out and we know
(09:46):
this specific administration has been prepping for that, So I
don't know. Have you seen any of this conversation about
how like the big wigs are throwing are selling all
of these stocks immediately as of the last week or.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
So, I have, I have, But I'm going to be
real honest with you. The stock market is not my
I just know they're saying like this is strange, Like
I don't really know what it means. Yes, I have
seen that.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
You're not the only one. I definitely don't need that.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
But what I do know, and what I do see
is that our retirement, which we have no choice on it.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
And y'all know I have gone off many times.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Because I'm so annoyed by the situation, Like why are
y'all taking my money and putting it in companies I
don't care about and not giving me a choice, and
yet you won't let me take my money even though
it's not my choice, and is my money?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Is my money? Dam it?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Yeah, we have to basically invest in stock options. That's
not See again, I don't know much real stock. This
is the problem. But you like have to put and
you can choose like a high risk, medium risk, low risk,
and you have the option to pay extra for someone
(11:04):
someone something to be like, you should sell this one
because you're not gonna you're not gonna be paying attention
to it, right, But yeah, we don't have an option
of opting out.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Of that, No, Like, why can't I just take the
savings with the match, thank you very much if we
get it, which for the longest times we didn't, you know,
and that I understand, Like.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
This is definitely privileged conversation.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
But the small amount of savings, which by the way,
will definitely be working at a trader Joe's after like
retirement age probably, so can't wait to see you there.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Hopefully I'll get unionized by then.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
All of that does say but in that conversation, like
why can't I just put it in a high yield
se savings account, because this is back and forth of
me losing money of when I watch this and I'm
like what and this tour my family apart almost because
of that happening in the early two thousands and my
dad losing hundreds of thousands of dollars being like ten
(12:03):
years away from retirement. But at the same time he
also lost his job because the first people to go
were those who have had the highest salaries but the
lowest education. And so even though he'd been there for years,
and of course if you're coming close to retirement, they
don't have to pay that wonderful. So he lost his
job and he had to go on unemployment. He lost
so much with that, and that's like where and I'm
(12:25):
nowhere near where he was on that because you know,
eighties were nice when they were figuring this stuff out.
The eighties treated and retirees a little better. And as
we know, as we come to and we I say,
like again, forties, thirties, come to our retirement age, we
already know Social Security's gone, even though we've been paying
(12:46):
so much into it. It's almost reminds me of a
Ponzi scheme, now that I understand what a Ponzi scheme is.
It was like, is that not what's happening with the
Social Security administration?
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Is that not? What that is?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
You're just taking our mind need to pay the boomers now,
but you don't have enough for us to give it
back to us.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I don't't understod.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
No, doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
This is adulting thing is very odd, and I have
been a little more anxious because also owning a house
but having to buy the new car, all of these things.
It's like, what happens if, worst case scenario, our show
becomes a little too left leaning for the administration and
(13:41):
for some reason we pop up on someone's radar and
we don't have the backing to stay. You know what
I'm saying, like losing because like, can you hear the
panic of my voice? Yes, we already got Like everybody
in the Cuntry Tree had such a setback in the
(14:02):
last three two years, especially if they're like as things
were specifically changing, well, last year was like, oh no,
we're in chaos because of things abruptly changing, yeah, and
the things being set up for multi billionaires to gain
(14:22):
more power because to them, this is all a game,
the buying and the selling of stocks, because they have
the like extra millions of dollars to play this game
on the backs of people who can't, who just pray
that they don't lose thousands and thousands of dollars of
their retirement so that one day they could assist along
(14:43):
with your part time job at Trader Joe's bartending whatever
that we can find in twenty years. It's an odd
place and again like I was thinking about this too,
and I speak about having children my parents, I think
really kind of like they suffered, don't get me wrong,
(15:04):
and they had a lot of setbacks, but we had
already left all of us. They had an emptyness at
this point. I was in college. They didn't pay for
my college, so it was all like not that they
were free and clear, but a little less than having
like four toddlers or four teenagers being there. I cannot
imagine if you're a single parent with kids and trying
(15:27):
to figure out what do we do? And it's because
nothing is going backwards. It's not like rent is going down.
They don't care. Our interest rates are going up. They
supposedly felt like pushed it back.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Who to who? For whom? Who? Who? What?
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Like I was looking at was trying to see when
they were like, oh yeah, they kept it. I was
like they kept it.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
It was like so high already? Who kept what? Who's
this helping nobody?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Because if they couldn't buy the house before they kept it,
they like can't now because it's cat there.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
So what There's so many in this conversation that I'm like,
where are we? Like, how are they doing this?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
On purpose, And this is another conspiracy theory to make
everything seem less significant, whether it's the Epstein files finally
being released.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
And the odd like.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Wordplay that the officials are doing in order to make
everything seemingly not so bad when you're.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Like what.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Or is it because they know if we're in a panic,
we're not going to pay as close to attention to
all of the law, like really scary things that are
happening around the world.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Is that what's happening?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Like if we're so caught up in our own misery
and our own fears and anxiety, then we're less likely
to look around about like advocating for others.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Is that what they're trying to do?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Like my conspiracy has like, oh, this seems purposeful, but
at the same time you get some good news talking
about But that means other people are realizing this administration
is not doing well.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
So I have seen that.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I'm like, yeah, but not to my detriment, damn it.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
To our detriment.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
So yes, this is a whole like back and forth,
and I've definitely had some Russell sleep with this conversation.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I feel like, is there a way to prep for
any of this?
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I have been excited to see as bad as things
that happened have happened in Charlotte, actually in all of
North Carolina, because I did see that Asheville was attacked too,
because we know they are These are two of the
more liberal leaning cities within North Carolina, so that it
makes it for obvious reasons about why he would send
them down there. But all of that to say is like,
(18:05):
it's really hardening to see all of those protesting people
who are coming out and advocating, the people who are
coming out, recording and making sure they're knowing what's happening.
There's now a legendary tale in the making of a
woman in her moomo walking out on her yard with
her with her gun, protecting her property and her people.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
So you know, like legends are being created. Who knew?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
So stories like that make you feel like, Okay, maybe
it's not all bad and we know this is that
back and forth again and like understanding what we're seeing.
The overwhelming over anxious bit are the maybe I don't know,
is it the worst of the worst, I don't know,
but are there to get that clickbait to get you
(18:53):
to listen, to get you to panic. A little bit,
and that if we pause in reality, there's a lot
of us in this same step and knowing things like
this have happened before and people have survived, but also
in understanding that people die in these situations. Like there's
just like back and forth that I cannot stop and
(19:14):
trying to prepare my mentality, my emotions and my physical
self to what is happening right now, like all right,
but this is what is good, but this is still
can happen. This is the these are the things that
rise up, and these are the things that unfortunately is
gonna happen. And I don't want to sit here and
pretend it's not and pretend it's not so bad, and
(19:35):
when in actuality it is.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
It is bad.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
Adulting feels like that, yeah, and I just said yeah,
like before we recorded me referencing this next month December
as February.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Adulting also feels like that.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
It tests, it tests. I think it's a time personally,
I think a lot of the adulting that I thought
adulting was is gone. For that's not an option for me,
not like not a comfortable option I would really have
(20:17):
to and it's just yeah, it's gone, and I'm perfectly,
Like I'm well often better off than a lot of others, right,
I know that, and that that should say something. It's
like that's gone for me, man.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
But yeah, we have to take a deep side.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
I think we have to do another Meditation episode come back.
But no, like there's so much again, like I said,
it is interesting when you start thinking about your parents
versus you, and like you see the numbers about like
what has changed, whether there's financial stuff, the median salary,
the median cost of homes, all these things, and how
(21:03):
vastly it has changed. But also like again, my parents
had four kids, I have zero, and I have a dog,
and I still panic about my dog. You know, like
there's this level of trying to figure all of that
out and how they did it, but understanding they had
a little more Like being able to get a job
and then climb your way to get six figure salary
(21:23):
was once upon a time able you were able to
do that.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
That no longer exists.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yes, And as we mentioned a couple of times in
previous episodes and we kind of touched on it in
a Monday mini you did. But all around the world,
the birth rate is declining, right, and it's because people
cannot right afford to raise kids comfortably safely, and they're
(21:51):
making the educated choice of I can't raise this kid.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I find it hilarious that some of the talking points
and incentives were like, but we won't we need more children,
And I'm like, do you see what's happening?
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Why?
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Why?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Mm hmmm, this cursed place.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Well that too, but also the money, I don't have it.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
But all those things, there's so many things, don't get
me wrong, And some of these babies are really cute.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, I mean it does. I always feel kind of
bad because at a certain point I really came to
the realization I do not want kids, and so to
me that that's it's not that it's not a problem
because in theory it could impact all of us, but
(22:51):
it's not something that hurts me personally my heart.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
But I know people who want to have kids and
are just like I can't.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
There's so many of those conversations of the fact that
we're like, yes, I you are to be a mother,
and I want to be able to like do these
things and hopefully and not selfish reasons, because I feel
like not everyone, but some of the people that I
know are selfish reasons, whether it's to save a marriage,
whether it's you know, wanting to someone to like birth things,
(23:23):
someone to love you.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
That's not how this works. That's not how this works.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
No, or just the whole Like I think it's kind
of maybe I'm completely incorrect. I don't know, but I
feel like there used to be a really strong like
well the rename will.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Live on right.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Which is not even really my name.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
I've seen so many new videos and I want to
come back and talk about some of these things because
I found it fascinating. Whether it's a and I saved
video that I'm going to send to you any but
the fact new statistics show that the highest rate of
divorces happening in southern states, in conservative states, and the
seventy percent women. Yeah, but like some of the highest
violence of divorce I think was Mississippi and Alabama, and
(24:25):
it was like conservative technically conservative areas. And it was
interesting how many men got upset because in that statistics,
they're like, we talked to a lot of the women
and ask them why they like they were divorcing, and
they're like, why did you talk to the men? And
again people come back was like because the majority of
people who are filing for divorce in those areas are women,
(24:45):
how and so they were like, this back and forth
is quite funny, but that just recently came out, and
I was like, Oh, we need to come backcause we've
talked about that divorce raising women have been doing all that,
as well as the fact that I've seen a few
men pop up about their dating experiences, and I was like, huh,
this is popping up on my thing. Okay, I feel
(25:06):
like this has told me I need to look at
this one dude. And I can't tell if this is
real because apparently this one dude had like a lot
of content about going with me on my date or
this is what happened on my date things, And I'm like,
which I thought for a long time, what about twenty
years ago and I was going on all my little
dates and I was like, oh, I need to make
this a serious somehow, Like I need to make these
short stories because.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
This is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
So like you can go so many like videos on
those but he's supposedically talked about the fact that he
got catfished. He's like twenty something years old, and her
pictures and it implies that she was younger, and then
when he saw her like, oh no, she's definitely forty five,
which I was like, oh god, or older, And I
was like, ooh, I would you date someone twenty years younger?
(25:48):
But she implied that she wasn't that young and then
she got arrested because she wanted Helpenio poppers.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
That's a whole different story.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
And then like yeah, and then another guy who came
on a little too wrong and then got really upset
and can't pre canceled the date because she wasn't.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Excited for it.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
So it was like, oh, what is happening here? So
there's are thoughts about like worlds being interesting right now.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Yeah, I've been thinking about this a lot too. I
was I was trying to research some topic that I oh,
it was about gendered advertising because we're getting into the
holidays and there's this one ad that plays all the
time for me and it is so like I cannot
believe how sexist it is, and so it led me
(26:41):
to some odd place. But I uh, it just got
me to thinking about how there is kind of a
strange thing that's happening right now where there's like, you know,
the trad wives. But then there are conservative women who
are kind of I feel like a lot of women
are just done. To be honest with you, yeah, I
(27:02):
think that they're just tired, and.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
I think when they realize that these tradwife trends are
not actually something obtainable unless you are a already you
have money, b you are a model that fits into
this stereotype and like have no standards in your relationship
(27:32):
and then also have staff to make you this way
that you're not ever going to meet the standard because apparently,
like the Ballerina formed woman has items, which I want
to go back and talk about, not the downfall, but
like the decline of the popularity of like pioneer woman.
She was interesting because I feel like she may have
(27:54):
been the beginning, yeah, of tradwives. But that's a whole
different conversation and people may be like, no, she was great.
So if listeners, if you all disagree, let me know.
But I feel like there's something to that level because
Ballerina Farm now has items and apparently she's got a
pretty giant like cutting board or would wouldn't board that's
(28:15):
like hundreds of dollars that people are dying for, right
now like are cooling out?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
I'm like so, But I've also seen people make fun
of it, meaning like who's gonna who's gonna pay for this?
Who's paying for this? But apparently people are.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Because it does evoke an ideal that she has perpetuated.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Yeah, there's I think there's something happening right now that
we need to come back and talk about. Right there's
like a schism or something.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
There's a disconnect with that type of lifestyle. With the
economy downturn, that's like everybody's trying to figure out how
to stay afloat. And now we're back to by the way,
the Angel Tree. Have you?
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Do you know what that is?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I don't so.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
An Angel Tree essentially is.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Holiday program in which families who are in need and
must qualify through certain organizations, and it could be a
faith based It sounds faith based, but I don't know
for sure. Where they have a list like they say
these kids and these are the wish lists for Christmas,
and people can go to the tree, pick out a
family and buy them things. And the last couple of
(29:35):
years you have people being like, no, I'm not I
can't afford to buy these things. Which I will say
when I worked in children's homes and foster homes like
group homes, the one thing I did see that is
the biggest time of year that people are going to
be somewhat giving, even the church because the church often
(29:56):
has the group home being associated with that church.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
And the kids would get so much.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
And I'm glad because they needed things they will need
like clothes and all that, but they would get so
much they would run out of things to put on
their list, so they start putting things like I know,
for a while it was a trend that the girls
were trying to get colored contacts, and I was like, no, no, no,
they don't need Please don't do this. Please don't buy
them this, because I said, call so many I infections.
(30:22):
They can't take care of themselves with this, Please don't
do this, Like I just I was like, oh no.
And so some of the things are like yeah, okay,
this is kind of beyond the scope. But they had
so much because like three charges would sponsor a group home,
and each sponsor will be like, well, we'll give them
about a thousand dollars, and I was thinking, like, why
don't you put it in like scholarships, and of course
if you're a young teen who never had such a
(30:45):
great offering, you're going to try to get everything.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
I'll be like, I would like.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
To page ten of the you know Sears Christmas catalog.
I thank you very much, you know, like stuff like that.
So I get that, but like this was the only
time of the year. And of course, like the church
just needs to get credit for it because it makes
them feel good. It's not really about giving, it's about
them feeling good about themselves and how.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Much they give.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
So this angel tree is kind of in let line.
But more and more people have been picking up things
and like, no, these kids don't need this, I can
I'm not buying them a thirty dollars Like I think
one list was like they wanted a remote control they
only wanted two things, like a remote control car, and
the girl wanted a specific doll that is expensive, but
I think like the expensive of like less than fifty dollars,
and she's like, no, I'm not buying them that. So
(31:28):
she was buying them all off brand stuff and not
following the list, and then she and then when people
were like hey, why are you doing that? Either doude
the list or don't and then she was like, they
will be grateful if they're not. They don't deserve any
of this anyway, Like this is the attitude. And I've
seen these on a couple of these things, and I'm like, what,
(31:48):
so this is like disconnect of like who they're getting
mad at and what they're doing for is kind of
the same level of what I see in this like
divide in Okay, I can only do these things, so
you don't deserve these things.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
It's just.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Really disheartening. But at the same time, the many people
who came to bed and be like no, why and
like shaming them p Like, yeah, I think for a
good reason. So those that was like the say, but
it's such a weird. All of these things, I feel
like fall in line in this level of like we're
(32:26):
all in a bad space. Do we make this bad
space worse for everybody else? Do we take advantage of
this bad space so I can profit? Do we understand
that this is gonna be rough for everyone? So we
should be kind? Like there's so many things, but like
it's just like an inner battle that I see in society, like.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Everything sucks, yeah, but not our listeners.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
No, you all are great, you are fantastic.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeah, oh what pressure because the actual Thanksgiving happy hour
will be mine.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
You can be thankful.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
That's on you. I'll come up with something because yes
we're all we also are trying to get ahead for
the holidays. But yeah, listeners, we would love to hear
from you if you are struggling with all this too,
with adulting and what it looks like right now when
everything's chaos and everything's expensive, please let us know. I
(33:46):
also look rite in if you've got happy news. We
love hearing that as well.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Need it. I need it badly.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, yes, you can email us at Hello at stuff
Whenever Told You dot com. You can find some blue
ski at mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok
stuff When Never Told You. We're also on YouTube. We
have some new merchandise at Cotton Bureau, and we have
a book you can get wherever you get your books.
Thanks as always too, our super producer, Christina, our executive producer,
and your contributor Joey.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Thank you and thanks to you for listening.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Stuff Will Never Told You is production by Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
out the art radio app, Apple podcast, wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff when
never told your prediction of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
And welcome to another edition of happy Hour, or as
I would like to call.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
It, be wine. Yeah, it's one of the those.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
So if you need to get some wine, go for
it as an adult, of course, only as an adult.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Yes, it is happy hour.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
So if you are participating in the wine bit or
any other happy hour thing, do so responsibly. We trust
you to make good decisions. Yes, yes, Also if we
talk about any specific.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Company, movie, anything.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Currently not a sponsor, which is a shame. Yep, yep, okay, yep, yep, Annie,
are you sipping on anything?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Well, you gave me a warning that this was a wine.
I gave you a heads up. I gave you a
heads up. This time I did get some wine. I'm
still kind of I had I had quite a life day, everybody,
So I'm still okay.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
The ready that sounded is like I have had quite
a life as if you're like done, have so much
life day.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Life day, the Star Wars holiday that I talked about
on the previous Happy Hours. So but I feel I
feel good and I'm I'm happy to see you.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Sam yes, happy to see you as well.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
We started in about your weekend and I was like,
let's go ahead and jump into the happy hour because essentially,
I'm just going to be complaining about adulting because it's
already stressful, and y'all know, if you're familiar with our show,
familiar with us. When it comes to the holidays, I
despise it, and usually around this time I start coming
(01:53):
in about why I don't like it or what the
anxiety is. I'm going to bypass all that and just
say that's one of the addeds to everything. Yes, holidays
are horrible and I can't stand them, and it's coming
very quickly actually, but it's okay because I feel like
things have gotten easier. Last year and the year before last,
I've been doing the gung ho I'm going to figure
(02:14):
out how I'm gonna like it, and all the things
I'm tried, Like, yeah, I still don't like it. So
this year I'm just giving up, like it's fine. Everything
is fine. I'm see the family, hope everybody's on their
best behavior, enjoy the times that we get to spend together.
Because I don't know if I've shared much about my family,
(02:35):
like as my parents get older. I know, we talked
about that and how odd it is and the sensation
of knowing that we're coming to a point that we
are taking care of our parents because they are regressing,
and whether there's their health or it's their mental capacities
and all of those things. So there's so many things
in that conversation, and I feel like the last two
(02:57):
years I've really seen an escalation of them aging, and
not because they're doing anything wrong, not necessarily dimension noune
of that, which I'm fortunate to see, but because they
are getting older so they're able to do less, but
at the same time they try to push like they
can still do that those same things, and they can't,
so it's physically harming them.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
So a lot of those things. So I'm gonna try
my best to enjoy and not regret.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Any of any losing time with them, spending time and
hopefully making good memories because you know, for all of
the craziness that has happened, all of the disagreements that
we have had, all the things that I still don't
want to talk to them about or be around them about,
like I have definitely any you know, the behind the
scenes had that conversation of like, Okay, they're doing these
(03:45):
conspiracy talks and I can't handle this. I don't have
the mental bandwidth to argue with them about why they
are completely wrong about this. But like, outside of that,
trying to be able because they love me beyond measure,
and I love them beyond measure. They have taken good
care of me and in all of the ways, and
(04:05):
I'm very grateful to have them as my family.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
But yeah, like coming back and.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Forth of like okay, this is this is you starting
to realize you're losing time in essence with that as
well as you know, trying to figure the back and forth.
We talked about what it looks like as a couple
imbalancing those times, especially when other families are out of state,
and what that can look like. So it's definitely like
I'm just gonna go rush forward, not thinking about it.
(04:34):
This is my new strategy, any and just make it
out of December.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Okay, Yeah, that's a new goal. Correct? Is that?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Would we call that a positive a change or just
a change?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I think there are some positives and negatives to the change, yes.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Fair enough, So that's where we are on that.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
But like I don't know about you and any You've
done really well in keeping off of social media for
the most parts, which is really great because I am
being inundated with everyone talking about how we are about
to be in one of the biggest depressions the society
and economically that we have seen in a long time.
(05:21):
I am petrified and like I've been having dreams about
things that could be issues, and y'all already know I've
already had issues and anxiety about the immigration rays that
a happening, even though technically I am a naturalized citizen
and have been for thirty years and so it shouldn't
(05:41):
be an issue. But as we have seen of late,
it really doesn't matter. Citizens who have been born US
citizens are being detained as well, and we've talked about that.
I've been seeing man that was a New York opinion piece,
New York Times opinion piece, which is shocking because New
York Times has not done well.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It's not done well. We haven't even talked about.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
How they're like, oh, the women have ruined the workplace,
and I'm like, wait, it.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Was definitely us, uh huh.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Like there's so many I'm like, I'm gonna assume this
was rage bait. And there's something else to this, I
don't know. But anyway, moving back, but they did interview
three or four people who had been detainees who were
here as they was a quote unquote through due process legally,
and I hate that term in general, that they had
green cars, they had asylum, and they had the visas
(06:32):
and they just didn't want them here or they profiled
them and then made up outrageous claims and charges which
these people who were detained didn't even know about four
weeks later, and the talk about how one man Specifical
talked about he was placed in solitary confinement as an
immigrant detainee who, by the way, again had asylum, but
(06:56):
because they realized their mistake, they stripped him of that
asylum and then came back and held him for.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Like I believe he said, seven weeks.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
But because he was advocating for Muslims in the detention center,
asking for like prayer times and such, he got placed
in solitary confinement. And I'm like, wait, this is what
happens with hardened criminals who incite riots. Well, that's not
actually true. We know the political political spectrum, and we've
talked about the behind the scenes in which in order
to deal with and punish people, they put them in
solitary confinements. And this is the type of torture that
(07:28):
has been researched how long, and yet people within the
punitive system do not want to acknowledge that it is
an inherent torture strategy that should be illegal. But that's
a whole different conversation. Again, this is where I go
with and why and I get real off topic, But
all that to say is like, what is what is
(07:51):
what This man who literally is not doing anything, not
inciting it violence, just speaking out got instead of being heard,
and because they were annoyed, they just put him in
solitary confinement as a person being held with legal papers.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Like, there's so many things to this aspect.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
And these are people who are now out and can
tell their stories and had lawyers and people who could
advocate for them, So imagine what else is happening there?
Like the story was intense, So my social media is
covered in that, which is something that I can't look
away from, nobody should look away from. We should be
(08:29):
talking about right now, especially with what's happening again in
Charlotte in Chicago, in New York, in Portland, all the places,
and apparently the most seville cities in the country. Atlanta
has been allowing access to ICE and federal agents to
these deep state like if you want to go conspiracy theory,
(08:49):
this is where you're like, yeah, I might actually jump
on board with this one, because we are we have
been held as the highest surveillanced city with all of
the cameras that are here, and apparently there were several
reports showing that they were using these cameras which were
only supposed to be for traffic stops or actual accident situations,
are being used by federal law enforcement and ICE and
(09:11):
Immigrations Border Control people to go and find people for
no reason, Like they just find random things and things
that are pulled up maybe incorrect, may have all these information, but.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
They don't care.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
So that's all of that is what I'm seeing onlin
for you page again, as well as the fact that
the economics status in the US is not pretty and
you know who gets it first are all of the
any lower middle class and lower are going to be
people who's going to feel this harder than anybody else
because everybody else gets the bell out and we know
(09:46):
this specific administration has been prepping for that, So I
don't know. Have you seen any of this conversation about
how like the big wigs are throwing are selling all
of these stocks immediately as of the last week or.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
So, I have, I have, But I'm going to be
real honest with you. The stock market is not my
I just know they're saying like this is strange, Like
I don't really know what it means. Yes, I have
seen that.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
You're not the only one. I definitely don't need that.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
But what I do know, and what I do see
is that our retirement, which we have no choice on it.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
And y'all know I have gone off many times.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Because I'm so annoyed by the situation, Like why are
y'all taking my money and putting it in companies I
don't care about and not giving me a choice, and
yet you won't let me take my money even though
it's not my choice, and is my money?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Is my money? Dam it?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Yeah, we have to basically invest in stock options. That's
not See again, I don't know much real stock. This
is the problem. But you like have to put and
you can choose like a high risk, medium risk, low risk,
and you have the option to pay extra for someone
(11:04):
someone something to be like, you should sell this one
because you're not gonna you're not gonna be paying attention
to it, right, But yeah, we don't have an option
of opting out.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Of that, No, Like, why can't I just take the
savings with the match, thank you very much if we
get it, which for the longest times we didn't, you know,
and that I understand, Like.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
This is definitely privileged conversation.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
But the small amount of savings, which by the way,
will definitely be working at a trader Joe's after like
retirement age probably, so can't wait to see you there.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Hopefully I'll get unionized by then.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
All of that does say but in that conversation, like
why can't I just put it in a high yield
se savings account, because this is back and forth of
me losing money of when I watch this and I'm
like what and this tour my family apart almost because
of that happening in the early two thousands and my
dad losing hundreds of thousands of dollars being like ten
(12:03):
years away from retirement. But at the same time he
also lost his job because the first people to go
were those who have had the highest salaries but the
lowest education. And so even though he'd been there for years,
and of course if you're coming close to retirement, they
don't have to pay that wonderful. So he lost his
job and he had to go on unemployment. He lost
so much with that, and that's like where and I'm
(12:25):
nowhere near where he was on that because you know,
eighties were nice when they were figuring this stuff out.
The eighties treated and retirees a little better. And as
we know, as we come to and we I say,
like again, forties, thirties, come to our retirement age, we
already know Social Security's gone, even though we've been paying
(12:46):
so much into it. It's almost reminds me of a
Ponzi scheme, now that I understand what a Ponzi scheme is.
It was like, is that not what's happening with the
Social Security administration?
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Is that not? What that is?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
You're just taking our mind need to pay the boomers now,
but you don't have enough for us to give it
back to us.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I don't't understod.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
No, doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
This is adulting thing is very odd, and I have
been a little more anxious because also owning a house
but having to buy the new car, all of these things.
It's like, what happens if, worst case scenario, our show
becomes a little too left leaning for the administration and
(13:41):
for some reason we pop up on someone's radar and
we don't have the backing to stay. You know what
I'm saying, like losing because like, can you hear the
panic of my voice? Yes, we already got Like everybody
in the Cuntry Tree had such a setback in the
(14:02):
last three two years, especially if they're like as things
were specifically changing, well, last year was like, oh no,
we're in chaos because of things abruptly changing, yeah, and
the things being set up for multi billionaires to gain
(14:22):
more power because to them, this is all a game,
the buying and the selling of stocks, because they have
the like extra millions of dollars to play this game
on the backs of people who can't, who just pray
that they don't lose thousands and thousands of dollars of
their retirement so that one day they could assist along
(14:43):
with your part time job at Trader Joe's bartending whatever
that we can find in twenty years. It's an odd
place and again like I was thinking about this too,
and I speak about having children my parents, I think
really kind of like they suffered, don't get me wrong,
(15:04):
and they had a lot of setbacks, but we had
already left all of us. They had an emptyness at
this point. I was in college. They didn't pay for
my college, so it was all like not that they
were free and clear, but a little less than having
like four toddlers or four teenagers being there. I cannot
imagine if you're a single parent with kids and trying
(15:27):
to figure out what do we do? And it's because
nothing is going backwards. It's not like rent is going down.
They don't care. Our interest rates are going up. They
supposedly felt like pushed it back.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Who to who? For whom? Who? Who? What?
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Like I was looking at was trying to see when
they were like, oh yeah, they kept it. I was
like they kept it.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
It was like so high already? Who kept what? Who's
this helping nobody?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Because if they couldn't buy the house before they kept it,
they like can't now because it's cat there.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
So what There's so many in this conversation that I'm like,
where are we? Like, how are they doing this?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
On purpose, And this is another conspiracy theory to make
everything seem less significant, whether it's the Epstein files finally
being released.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
And the odd like.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Wordplay that the officials are doing in order to make
everything seemingly not so bad when you're.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Like what.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Or is it because they know if we're in a panic,
we're not going to pay as close to attention to
all of the law, like really scary things that are
happening around the world.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Is that what's happening?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Like if we're so caught up in our own misery
and our own fears and anxiety, then we're less likely
to look around about like advocating for others.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Is that what they're trying to do?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Like my conspiracy has like, oh, this seems purposeful, but
at the same time you get some good news talking
about But that means other people are realizing this administration
is not doing well.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
So I have seen that.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I'm like, yeah, but not to my detriment, damn it.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
To our detriment.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
So yes, this is a whole like back and forth,
and I've definitely had some Russell sleep with this conversation.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I feel like, is there a way to prep for
any of this?
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I have been excited to see as bad as things
that happened have happened in Charlotte, actually in all of
North Carolina, because I did see that Asheville was attacked too,
because we know they are These are two of the
more liberal leaning cities within North Carolina, so that it
makes it for obvious reasons about why he would send
them down there. But all of that to say is like,
(18:05):
it's really hardening to see all of those protesting people
who are coming out and advocating, the people who are
coming out, recording and making sure they're knowing what's happening.
There's now a legendary tale in the making of a
woman in her moomo walking out on her yard with
her with her gun, protecting her property and her people.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
So you know, like legends are being created. Who knew?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
So stories like that make you feel like, Okay, maybe
it's not all bad and we know this is that
back and forth again and like understanding what we're seeing.
The overwhelming over anxious bit are the maybe I don't know,
is it the worst of the worst, I don't know,
but are there to get that clickbait to get you
(18:53):
to listen, to get you to panic. A little bit,
and that if we pause in reality, there's a lot
of us in this same step and knowing things like
this have happened before and people have survived, but also
in understanding that people die in these situations. Like there's
just like back and forth that I cannot stop and
(19:14):
trying to prepare my mentality, my emotions and my physical
self to what is happening right now, like all right,
but this is what is good, but this is still
can happen. This is the these are the things that
rise up, and these are the things that unfortunately is
gonna happen. And I don't want to sit here and
pretend it's not and pretend it's not so bad, and
(19:35):
when in actuality it is.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
It is bad.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
Adulting feels like that, yeah, and I just said yeah,
like before we recorded me referencing this next month December
as February.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Adulting also feels like that.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
It tests, it tests. I think it's a time personally,
I think a lot of the adulting that I thought
adulting was is gone. For that's not an option for me,
not like not a comfortable option I would really have
(20:17):
to and it's just yeah, it's gone, and I'm perfectly,
Like I'm well often better off than a lot of others, right,
I know that, and that that should say something. It's
like that's gone for me, man.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
But yeah, we have to take a deep side.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
I think we have to do another Meditation episode come back.
But no, like there's so much again, like I said,
it is interesting when you start thinking about your parents
versus you, and like you see the numbers about like
what has changed, whether there's financial stuff, the median salary,
the median cost of homes, all these things, and how
(21:03):
vastly it has changed. But also like again, my parents
had four kids, I have zero, and I have a dog,
and I still panic about my dog. You know, like
there's this level of trying to figure all of that
out and how they did it, but understanding they had
a little more Like being able to get a job
and then climb your way to get six figure salary
(21:23):
was once upon a time able you were able to
do that.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
That no longer exists.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yes, And as we mentioned a couple of times in
previous episodes and we kind of touched on it in
a Monday mini you did. But all around the world,
the birth rate is declining, right, and it's because people
cannot right afford to raise kids comfortably safely, and they're
(21:51):
making the educated choice of I can't raise this kid.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I find it hilarious that some of the talking points
and incentives were like, but we won't we need more children,
And I'm like, do you see what's happening?
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Why?
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Why?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Mm hmmm, this cursed place.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Well that too, but also the money, I don't have it.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
But all those things, there's so many things, don't get
me wrong, And some of these babies are really cute.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, I mean it does. I always feel kind of
bad because at a certain point I really came to
the realization I do not want kids, and so to
me that that's it's not that it's not a problem
because in theory it could impact all of us, but
(22:51):
it's not something that hurts me personally my heart.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
But I know people who want to have kids and
are just like I can't.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
There's so many of those conversations of the fact that
we're like, yes, I you are to be a mother,
and I want to be able to like do these
things and hopefully and not selfish reasons, because I feel
like not everyone, but some of the people that I
know are selfish reasons, whether it's to save a marriage,
whether it's you know, wanting to someone to like birth things,
(23:23):
someone to love you.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
That's not how this works. That's not how this works.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
No, or just the whole Like I think it's kind
of maybe I'm completely incorrect. I don't know, but I
feel like there used to be a really strong like
well the rename will.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Live on right.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Which is not even really my name.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
I've seen so many new videos and I want to
come back and talk about some of these things because
I found it fascinating. Whether it's a and I saved
video that I'm going to send to you any but
the fact new statistics show that the highest rate of
divorces happening in southern states, in conservative states, and the
seventy percent women. Yeah, but like some of the highest
violence of divorce I think was Mississippi and Alabama, and
(24:25):
it was like conservative technically conservative areas. And it was
interesting how many men got upset because in that statistics,
they're like, we talked to a lot of the women
and ask them why they like they were divorcing, and
they're like, why did you talk to the men? And
again people come back was like because the majority of
people who are filing for divorce in those areas are women,
(24:45):
how and so they were like, this back and forth
is quite funny, but that just recently came out, and
I was like, Oh, we need to come backcause we've
talked about that divorce raising women have been doing all that,
as well as the fact that I've seen a few
men pop up about their dating experiences, and I was like, huh,
this is popping up on my thing. Okay, I feel
(25:06):
like this has told me I need to look at
this one dude. And I can't tell if this is
real because apparently this one dude had like a lot
of content about going with me on my date or
this is what happened on my date things, And I'm like,
which I thought for a long time, what about twenty
years ago and I was going on all my little
dates and I was like, oh, I need to make
this a serious somehow, Like I need to make these
short stories because.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
This is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
So like you can go so many like videos on
those but he's supposedically talked about the fact that he
got catfished. He's like twenty something years old, and her
pictures and it implies that she was younger, and then
when he saw her like, oh no, she's definitely forty five,
which I was like, oh god, or older, And I
was like, ooh, I would you date someone twenty years younger?
(25:48):
But she implied that she wasn't that young and then
she got arrested because she wanted Helpenio poppers.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
That's a whole different story.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
And then like yeah, and then another guy who came
on a little too wrong and then got really upset
and can't pre canceled the date because she wasn't.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Excited for it.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
So it was like, oh, what is happening here? So
there's are thoughts about like worlds being interesting right now.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Yeah, I've been thinking about this a lot too. I
was I was trying to research some topic that I oh,
it was about gendered advertising because we're getting into the
holidays and there's this one ad that plays all the
time for me and it is so like I cannot
believe how sexist it is, and so it led me
(26:41):
to some odd place. But I uh, it just got
me to thinking about how there is kind of a
strange thing that's happening right now where there's like, you know,
the trad wives. But then there are conservative women who
are kind of I feel like a lot of women
are just done. To be honest with you, yeah, I
(27:02):
think that they're just tired, and.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
I think when they realize that these tradwife trends are
not actually something obtainable unless you are a already you
have money, b you are a model that fits into
this stereotype and like have no standards in your relationship
(27:32):
and then also have staff to make you this way
that you're not ever going to meet the standard because apparently,
like the Ballerina formed woman has items, which I want
to go back and talk about, not the downfall, but
like the decline of the popularity of like pioneer woman.
She was interesting because I feel like she may have
(27:54):
been the beginning, yeah, of tradwives. But that's a whole
different conversation and people may be like, no, she was great.
So if listeners, if you all disagree, let me know.
But I feel like there's something to that level because
Ballerina Farm now has items and apparently she's got a
pretty giant like cutting board or would wouldn't board that's
(28:15):
like hundreds of dollars that people are dying for, right
now like are cooling out?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
I'm like so, But I've also seen people make fun
of it, meaning like who's gonna who's gonna pay for this?
Who's paying for this? But apparently people are.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Because it does evoke an ideal that she has perpetuated.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Yeah, there's I think there's something happening right now that
we need to come back and talk about. Right there's
like a schism or something.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
There's a disconnect with that type of lifestyle. With the
economy downturn, that's like everybody's trying to figure out how
to stay afloat. And now we're back to by the way,
the Angel Tree. Have you?
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Do you know what that is?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I don't so.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
An Angel Tree essentially is.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Holiday program in which families who are in need and
must qualify through certain organizations, and it could be a
faith based It sounds faith based, but I don't know
for sure. Where they have a list like they say
these kids and these are the wish lists for Christmas,
and people can go to the tree, pick out a
family and buy them things. And the last couple of
(29:35):
years you have people being like, no, I'm not I
can't afford to buy these things. Which I will say
when I worked in children's homes and foster homes like
group homes, the one thing I did see that is
the biggest time of year that people are going to
be somewhat giving, even the church because the church often
(29:56):
has the group home being associated with that church.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
And the kids would get so much.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
And I'm glad because they needed things they will need
like clothes and all that, but they would get so
much they would run out of things to put on
their list, so they start putting things like I know,
for a while it was a trend that the girls
were trying to get colored contacts, and I was like, no, no, no,
they don't need Please don't do this. Please don't buy
them this, because I said, call so many I infections.
(30:22):
They can't take care of themselves with this, Please don't
do this, Like I just I was like, oh no.
And so some of the things are like yeah, okay,
this is kind of beyond the scope. But they had
so much because like three charges would sponsor a group home,
and each sponsor will be like, well, we'll give them
about a thousand dollars, and I was thinking, like, why
don't you put it in like scholarships, and of course
if you're a young teen who never had such a
(30:45):
great offering, you're going to try to get everything.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
I'll be like, I would like.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
To page ten of the you know Sears Christmas catalog.
I thank you very much, you know, like stuff like that.
So I get that, but like this was the only
time of the year. And of course, like the church
just needs to get credit for it because it makes
them feel good. It's not really about giving, it's about
them feeling good about themselves and how.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Much they give.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
So this angel tree is kind of in let line.
But more and more people have been picking up things
and like, no, these kids don't need this, I can
I'm not buying them a thirty dollars Like I think
one list was like they wanted a remote control they
only wanted two things, like a remote control car, and
the girl wanted a specific doll that is expensive, but
I think like the expensive of like less than fifty dollars,
and she's like, no, I'm not buying them that. So
(31:28):
she was buying them all off brand stuff and not
following the list, and then she and then when people
were like hey, why are you doing that? Either doude
the list or don't and then she was like, they
will be grateful if they're not. They don't deserve any
of this anyway, Like this is the attitude. And I've
seen these on a couple of these things, and I'm like, what,
(31:48):
so this is like disconnect of like who they're getting
mad at and what they're doing for is kind of
the same level of what I see in this like
divide in Okay, I can only do these things, so
you don't deserve these things.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
It's just.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Really disheartening. But at the same time, the many people
who came to bed and be like no, why and
like shaming them p Like, yeah, I think for a
good reason. So those that was like the say, but
it's such a weird. All of these things, I feel
like fall in line in this level of like we're
(32:26):
all in a bad space. Do we make this bad
space worse for everybody else? Do we take advantage of
this bad space so I can profit? Do we understand
that this is gonna be rough for everyone? So we
should be kind? Like there's so many things, but like
it's just like an inner battle that I see in society, like.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Everything sucks, yeah, but not our listeners.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
No, you all are great, you are fantastic.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeah, oh what pressure because the actual Thanksgiving happy hour
will be mine.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
You can be thankful.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
That's on you. I'll come up with something because yes
we're all we also are trying to get ahead for
the holidays. But yeah, listeners, we would love to hear
from you if you are struggling with all this too,
with adulting and what it looks like right now when
everything's chaos and everything's expensive, please let us know. I
(33:46):
also look rite in if you've got happy news. We
love hearing that as well.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Need it. I need it badly.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, yes, you can email us at Hello at stuff
Whenever Told You dot com. You can find some blue
ski at mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok
stuff When Never Told You. We're also on YouTube. We
have some new merchandise at Cotton Bureau, and we have
a book you can get wherever you get your books.
Thanks as always too, our super producer, Christina, our executive producer,
and your contributor Joey.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Thank you and thanks to you for listening.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Stuff Will Never Told You is production by Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
out the art radio app, Apple podcast, wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
Stuff Mom Never Told You News
Hosts And Creators
Anney Reese
Samantha McVey
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