September 2, 2021 • 18 mins
Genderbending, fake geek girl, sexualization - these are just a few of the things you may encounter or think on when cosplaying as a woman.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Anie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff.
I've never told you your production of high Radio today
is Thursday, which means it is time for another happy hour.
As always, drink responsibly if you choose to do so.
(00:27):
Why are you drinking, Samantha, I'm keeping it simple for
this sad, sad hour, unhappy hour, okay hour. Oh it's
an okay hour. Okay. I assumed at being Annie's corner
would be an unhappy hour, but I guess it is
a neutral hour. It's an ups and downs hour, but
it's actually going to be all right, ups and downs.
(00:52):
You're ready for the troller coaster. I am drinking a Seltzer,
just a strawberry lemonade Seltzer, keeping it easy going summary
in this day much of a rainstorm because the hurricane
has come through for those of you out in New
Orleans and Louisiana. Were thinking about you and hope you're safe,
but yeah, what about you? I am drinking a dag
(01:14):
of a slug slicker, which if you could see, it's
greenish blue. Nice. Yes, because I celebrated a friend's birthday
and my birthday last weekend by staying in and eating
a lot of Star Wars themes, foods, and watching a
lot of Star Wars and drinking some Star Wars drinks.
And our friend and colleague Collie Fry, who was on
this happy hour before to talk about um Star Wars
(01:37):
among many things, sent me all of these recommendations. Of course.
Oh yes, And so this is from the Galaxy's Edge cookbook,
which I did get for my birthday. Yeah, it's essentially
a margarita. It's it's tequila and then blue girls out
for the color just a little bit, and then a
little bit of water and lime juice and then kind
(01:59):
of a rosemary ginger simple syrup. Mine, for some reason,
is much bluer than the picture in the book. And
I can't figure out where I went wrong, but something
is wry. And then I put blackberries in there. Is
it supposed to be blue? It's supposed to be green.
Oh so something with the blue curse. I was supposed
to do something, and it's not happening in mine. It's
still a cool color. Maybe you didn't put enough lime juice.
(02:22):
I'm put in a lot of lime juice because it
is a little bit sweeter than I normally would drink.
And so I added a lot more. And also I'm
drinking out of the glass you got Me, which is
the last of us two glass and it says, if
I ever were to lose you, I truly lose myself,
which is this very sad song slash quote. The whole movie,
the whole movie. See, it's a movie. It's a game experience.
(02:44):
You take it in like a movie. So there's I do.
I do, And that's one of the reasons I wanted
to talk about what we're talking about today, which is
my experience caused playing as a woman, because I have
been working on an Ellie from the Last of Us
to cos play, which is barely simple costume wise, and
for a lot of reasons I've said before, I wear
(03:06):
a lot of costumes for work, and I am currently
scheduled to speak at Dragon Cord, which I'm still I
don't know what's gonna happen, but um, it just got
me thinking about all of this, and I know I've
touched on it before, but I want to talk about
it because I do. I'm actually kind of shy, and
(03:29):
when I do cosplay, it is it does take a minute,
like I have to get over kind of an embarrassment.
But I feel if I can do that, then it
it is a wonderful experience of feeling like someone else
for a minute, just really like really really For me,
it feels like really empowering. But that being said, there
(03:52):
is a long history of women cosplaying kind of being
relegated into two categories, and it really annoys me because
we've talked about gatekeeping when it comes to fandom, and
cosplay is generally seen as more of a woman's area,
(04:12):
um and I think everyone knows we just in case
you don't. Cosplay is like costuming. It generally has some
element of like your behaving as that character, but it
doesn't always. I think a lot of times it just
gets thrown around as you make this costume to be
this character. But the two categories I was talking about,
I feel like women are relegated to is either sexy
(04:33):
or funny, right, and it's you can't be anything in between,
which is that, you know, not unique to nerd culture
or at all. Like I know, it's been an ongoing
conversation around Halloween costumes even of just the options that
are available for women, and I think when it comes
to the sexualized aspect, it's really unfortunate for a lot
(04:55):
of reasons, because there are plenty of time when I
feel like I have to make considerations in costumes that
other like dudes don't have to make of how is
this going to be perceived? And as sometimes I even
think about what what does this costume mean? Like if
I wanted to be this character, is it in some
(05:17):
way like not feminist or like the way I would
wear it, is it not feminist? No matter what you do,
you're going to be sexualized. So there have been times,
because I think it's no secret that I have worn
a lot of like the Winter Soldiers, the one I'm
known for, and that one it can be seen as sexy.
(05:38):
It wasn't really my intent, but you know, it's like
a little weather and it's pretty tight. And then I've
done like Catwoman, just also got a little other and
then right now I'm working on like Luke Skywalker, and
I've got my helicost tube and my Harley Quinn costume.
But all of that, if you wear something like that,
which that's also called gender bending, is when you dress
(06:01):
as a gender that is not your own, of character
who identifies as different gender than your own. I feel
like there's this judgment that happens where usually men are
angry with you or look down on you for sexualizing
their favorite character or somehow making them like more effeminate
in quotes, are weaker by being a woman dressing as this,
(06:21):
like that's ridiculous. A woman could never do what this
character does. And then like I'll never forget one time
I was like, I was dressed as catwoman and I
got so many sexual comments, like so so so many.
This one guy came up to me and he just said,
like in the grossest like lurious voice ever, like you
(06:45):
know what you're doing? And I was like what, yeah.
And it's like, if you dressed that way, you have
to expect that. That seems to be the vibe. It's like, well,
you dressed like that, so this is the attention you're
going to get it you knew what you were doing. Yeah,
it's gross. It's gross. And then there's another aspect of
(07:08):
it of if you're dressed as a character, people will
ask to take pictures with you, and you would well
you probably would believe it, but I have gotten asked
to you all kinds of like positions and like they
just want this picture with their character, but it's like
I don't feel like you'd ask that of them, really don't.
(07:30):
And then on top of that, there's like, well, what
if children see me and I don't want and I'm like, hey,
that I have to think about that at all. But
I don't want them to see this like interactions and
think like this is normal or this is what should
be accepted or expected. But at the same time, if
I want to dress sexually, then I want to just sexily,
(07:50):
like I don't all these considerations, And the only way
to escape that is to do like the other total
opposite into the sect room and do something really funny
where you're not sexual at all, so hopefully you can
escape this kind of attention. I mean, that's a whole
other conversation too of like what costumes, How costume design
(08:13):
for women has been in generally sexy, so like what's
available to you to choose from sex and so we
talked about that really tell me more. It essentially was
Halloween and the costumes were I think like sexy cat
or oh frumby which or something like that. Essentially, let's
(08:34):
say either you're one or the other, and you can't
there's and they're like Yep, you just said a whole
mouthful right there. Yeah, it's essentially. Yeah, we talked about
that all the time, the Madonna and the Horse and droom,
like eventually you have to choose one or the other.
And I thought about that too, and I'm feeling like
really sad and down on myself, like how long can
I get away with cosplaying before people just think I
put think just terrible about having fun to continue to
(08:58):
do it, but that is like sometimes I do feel
really embarrassed when I do it, and there's a weird
like and I'm thinking of conventions specifically here, Um, this
is a dude space and my dude costume is really
good while yours is silly and like not good and
I don't want to be around you, and it's it's
(09:18):
very strange because, like I said, again, outside of conventions,
I feel like causeway is more of a woman's realm
and has been. But you enter that space and suddenly
it's like you are just an amateur trying to keep up.
And that can differ by genre too, because some genres
have more intense gatekeeping than others, but that that also
(09:41):
comes with it. And we did like the fake geek
Girl episode. I've been tested on my like Marvel knowledge
before when people come up and be like, you don't
have the right to justice as character because you don't
know enough about them or whatever, which is so dumb,
so dumb, And I hate that I get caught up
into it because all sometimes I'll be, oh, yeah, I do,
but I'm like, I should even give it a time
(10:02):
of day. It doesn't matter in either case, right, what's
the point in such gatekeeping when are we just here
for fun? Yes? And also, I mean that's a big
h That is a big can of worms that I've
tried to like let go. But I I don't feel
(10:24):
like I'm very good at making things. And there is
a kind of an air around dragon Con because dragon
Con is the one in Atlanta is more about costumes
and cosplay than it is about, I would say, the
guests or celebrities. That's been my experience. And that being said,
there is a level of judgment that comes with if
(10:45):
you bought your costume versus if you've made it, And
I really don't care. I do appreciate when people took
the time and have the skill to make it, but
I really, you know, great for you, but I'm not
going to judge people for buying stuff. Yeah. I can
impact up more later, but for simplicity's sake right now, generally,
I'm not going to judge people for buying stuff. But
(11:06):
I find that a lot of the guys who I
felt judged by I have bought like everything they have,
and I've made mine, and I guess mine is like
you can tell I made it, but a damned if
you do, damned if you don't. I'm telling you it's true. Yeah,
(11:35):
this is just my anecdotal experience, and I feel like
I do have a lot of anecdotal experience with friends
of mine as well. But I also feel like there's
a a level of you're not X enough to be
this character, which does happen to men, but I think
it happens way more to women. It was like, you're
not strong enough and you could never be strong enough,
or you're not you don't fit the part for whatever reason,
(11:58):
and therefore you're just like a little girl masquerading around.
Just gross too and kind of unrealistic because most of
the characters you're dressing up as you're nothing alike. Sorry,
so may you may look somewhat like that person but
that doesn't mean you have that personality nor mindset or
(12:18):
superhero abilities. You're not magic, bro, So why are you
trying to get keep? Because they don't look enough like
all you like you're faking too, like you're making pretend
and enjoying your life and having a moment that's a
little outside reality because it's nice to escape reality. So
(12:43):
let it be. Yeah, Well, and I think that's we
could come back and have a bigger conversation about that,
and we've talked about it a little in other things.
But and I could be totally wrong. This could be
just me, you know, analyzing dude fans at these conventions
that have done this to me, because I've met plenty
of nice, like male fans, but in general, my bad
(13:03):
experiences have been with dudes at these things. And it's
almost like they're so insecure, like they feel like they've
been made fun of for being nerds for their life.
And we talked about this with Gatekeeping for sure, like
that they want to put you down and make you
feel like I've done the hard work, I know what
(13:25):
I'm talking about. I've earned this expertise and their right
to do this, and they just assume because you're a
woman that you haven't and I feel, I don't know,
it feels to me like it's coming from a place
of insecurity, And I could be totally wrong, but like
they're they're nervous about being made fun of, so they're like,
I'm gonna make fun of her before she can get
(13:45):
me first. Oh sure, there's a lot of insecurity and
a lot of this. Again, he's part of it. Some
people take it very seriously, very seriously, like we talked
about with fandoms, don't mess with people. Step out of line.
You're gonna get called out real quick. And it goes
beyond just loving something, and therefore it becomes a whole
(14:10):
other level of ownership, which is not the worst thing,
but can become unhealthy. Oh absolutely. And there there's so
many avenues of cosplay which I love, that have been
unhealthy and are improving. Um. And when you talk about
conventions and specific like the things we talked about all
(14:32):
the time, like there's layers of racism and ableism and sexism,
just because it's not like it's separate from the world.
It's that's the world we live in. So there are
aspects of that as well. And I'm glad we're having
those conversations and also just you know, access, like who
can afford to go to these things and who can
afford to buy their costume? Are to make their own costume,
(14:53):
like all that stuff, and then we're judging people who
had to do whatever they had to do to be
a character that they want to be and love and
then making them feel guilty about it, which it should
be a fun experience where we're sharing like a love
of something. And I think, you know again, I know
I bring it up all the time, but like things
like fan fiction, I feel like there's a judgment of
(15:16):
my way is the right way to enjoy a fandom?
You don't get it. You're making it worse for being
here as a woman because it's so I feel like
there's just a layer of seeing as weaker like you
were making How dare you dress as the Winter Soldier?
Because now I feel like he's weak and effeminate like
that aspects of it. All that being said, I do
(15:36):
love cosplaying and I find it really rewarding. I find
the dressing up of rewarding. And I also, like I said,
I don't feel like I'm good at making things, but
I did make it like I was persistent and determined
and there was some amount of of real success that
I got from that, And especially when um the Winter
Soldier arm I've made four of them, and they I
(15:57):
feel like they got better and better and I eventually
got so good at it. I posted a video on
my Instagram of like, here's how you do it. I
did it one like, you know, a couple of hours,
whereas before it took me like months to do it.
So I feel like there's so many levels of expertise
in this, whether it is your knowledge of it or
your love of something or how you made it. And
people get really really creative, and I'll never forget one
(16:19):
time this like college professor came up to me like
took a picture and you know, said can I use
this in my art class? How did you do this?
And that's that's a wonderful feelure. And I think like
a lot of women do that where we doubt the
things that we've made or have done or put together
and we shouldn't like we shouldn't have that level of doubt.
(16:40):
That being said, we have an episode coming up on
blogs and you asked me, Samantha, like if you could
have made something doing something else, or if you could
have a blog, what would it be. You would obviously
be fan picture, but I think I could do a
cosplay one because that's where I've gotten a lot of
tips for how to make things through cosplay blogs. And
I once was asked if I would cosplays for actually,
and I thought, the damn business card. But there's a
(17:03):
light where time out there cosplaying and getting paid for it.
You should because your stuff is really good, very thought out.
I think you have a lot of good supporters because
you're friends. Some of your friends are amazing at this
cosplay thing, and again our friend of the show, Holly
amazing at this cosplay thing, just amazing. And general loan crafting,
(17:24):
I have no skills, so I would definitely be that
person that would buy things. I mean, I'm not even pretending.
It's not like I'm being self deprecating. I really don't
have the crafting skills to make things. I can barely
draw things. My handwriting is unintelligible, Like that's just it's
just bad. So for people who do things, I'm like, wow,
great job, and you do a great job. Oh thank you.
(17:48):
You know, as always was never an attempt to get
a compliment, but I will take it. I will take it.
And I have had to be creative and I've I've
liked that, like I've had to like find pieces and
stuff that normally wouldn't go together and make it. And I,
you know what, proud of that profit you should be.
But listeners, oh my goodness. If you have cosplay pictures
you want to share with us our tips, please send
(18:11):
them our way. You can emails at Stephanie and mom
Stuff at I heart me dot com. You can find
us on Instagram at stuff We'd ever told you or
on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always, you
are super producer. Christina also good at most things she does.
I believe, yes, oh for sure. And thanks to you
for listening. Steph, I never told you his protection of
I Heart Radio. For more podcasts are my Heart Radio
because the Heart Radio ap Apple podcast. I'll ready listen
(18:31):
to your favorite shows.
Hey, this is Anie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff.
I've never told you your production of high Radio today
is Thursday, which means it is time for another happy hour.
As always, drink responsibly if you choose to do so.
(00:27):
Why are you drinking, Samantha, I'm keeping it simple for
this sad, sad hour, unhappy hour, okay hour. Oh it's
an okay hour. Okay. I assumed at being Annie's corner
would be an unhappy hour, but I guess it is
a neutral hour. It's an ups and downs hour, but
it's actually going to be all right, ups and downs.
(00:52):
You're ready for the troller coaster. I am drinking a Seltzer,
just a strawberry lemonade Seltzer, keeping it easy going summary
in this day much of a rainstorm because the hurricane
has come through for those of you out in New
Orleans and Louisiana. Were thinking about you and hope you're safe,
but yeah, what about you? I am drinking a dag
(01:14):
of a slug slicker, which if you could see, it's
greenish blue. Nice. Yes, because I celebrated a friend's birthday
and my birthday last weekend by staying in and eating
a lot of Star Wars themes, foods, and watching a
lot of Star Wars and drinking some Star Wars drinks.
And our friend and colleague Collie Fry, who was on
this happy hour before to talk about um Star Wars
(01:37):
among many things, sent me all of these recommendations. Of course.
Oh yes, And so this is from the Galaxy's Edge cookbook,
which I did get for my birthday. Yeah, it's essentially
a margarita. It's it's tequila and then blue girls out
for the color just a little bit, and then a
little bit of water and lime juice and then kind
(01:59):
of a rosemary ginger simple syrup. Mine, for some reason,
is much bluer than the picture in the book. And
I can't figure out where I went wrong, but something
is wry. And then I put blackberries in there. Is
it supposed to be blue? It's supposed to be green.
Oh so something with the blue curse. I was supposed
to do something, and it's not happening in mine. It's
still a cool color. Maybe you didn't put enough lime juice.
(02:22):
I'm put in a lot of lime juice because it
is a little bit sweeter than I normally would drink.
And so I added a lot more. And also I'm
drinking out of the glass you got Me, which is
the last of us two glass and it says, if
I ever were to lose you, I truly lose myself,
which is this very sad song slash quote. The whole movie,
the whole movie. See, it's a movie. It's a game experience.
(02:44):
You take it in like a movie. So there's I do.
I do, And that's one of the reasons I wanted
to talk about what we're talking about today, which is
my experience caused playing as a woman, because I have
been working on an Ellie from the Last of Us
to cos play, which is barely simple costume wise, and
for a lot of reasons I've said before, I wear
(03:06):
a lot of costumes for work, and I am currently
scheduled to speak at Dragon Cord, which I'm still I
don't know what's gonna happen, but um, it just got
me thinking about all of this, and I know I've
touched on it before, but I want to talk about
it because I do. I'm actually kind of shy, and
(03:29):
when I do cosplay, it is it does take a minute,
like I have to get over kind of an embarrassment.
But I feel if I can do that, then it
it is a wonderful experience of feeling like someone else
for a minute, just really like really really For me,
it feels like really empowering. But that being said, there
(03:52):
is a long history of women cosplaying kind of being
relegated into two categories, and it really annoys me because
we've talked about gatekeeping when it comes to fandom, and
cosplay is generally seen as more of a woman's area,
(04:12):
um and I think everyone knows we just in case
you don't. Cosplay is like costuming. It generally has some
element of like your behaving as that character, but it
doesn't always. I think a lot of times it just
gets thrown around as you make this costume to be
this character. But the two categories I was talking about,
I feel like women are relegated to is either sexy
(04:33):
or funny, right, and it's you can't be anything in between,
which is that, you know, not unique to nerd culture
or at all. Like I know, it's been an ongoing
conversation around Halloween costumes even of just the options that
are available for women, and I think when it comes
to the sexualized aspect, it's really unfortunate for a lot
(04:55):
of reasons, because there are plenty of time when I
feel like I have to make considerations in costumes that
other like dudes don't have to make of how is
this going to be perceived? And as sometimes I even
think about what what does this costume mean? Like if
I wanted to be this character, is it in some
(05:17):
way like not feminist or like the way I would
wear it, is it not feminist? No matter what you do,
you're going to be sexualized. So there have been times,
because I think it's no secret that I have worn
a lot of like the Winter Soldiers, the one I'm
known for, and that one it can be seen as sexy.
(05:38):
It wasn't really my intent, but you know, it's like
a little weather and it's pretty tight. And then I've
done like Catwoman, just also got a little other and
then right now I'm working on like Luke Skywalker, and
I've got my helicost tube and my Harley Quinn costume.
But all of that, if you wear something like that,
which that's also called gender bending, is when you dress
(06:01):
as a gender that is not your own, of character
who identifies as different gender than your own. I feel
like there's this judgment that happens where usually men are
angry with you or look down on you for sexualizing
their favorite character or somehow making them like more effeminate
in quotes, are weaker by being a woman dressing as this,
(06:21):
like that's ridiculous. A woman could never do what this
character does. And then like I'll never forget one time
I was like, I was dressed as catwoman and I
got so many sexual comments, like so so so many.
This one guy came up to me and he just said,
like in the grossest like lurious voice ever, like you
(06:45):
know what you're doing? And I was like what, yeah.
And it's like, if you dressed that way, you have
to expect that. That seems to be the vibe. It's like, well,
you dressed like that, so this is the attention you're
going to get it you knew what you were doing. Yeah,
it's gross. It's gross. And then there's another aspect of
(07:08):
it of if you're dressed as a character, people will
ask to take pictures with you, and you would well
you probably would believe it, but I have gotten asked
to you all kinds of like positions and like they
just want this picture with their character, but it's like
I don't feel like you'd ask that of them, really don't.
(07:30):
And then on top of that, there's like, well, what
if children see me and I don't want and I'm like, hey,
that I have to think about that at all. But
I don't want them to see this like interactions and
think like this is normal or this is what should
be accepted or expected. But at the same time, if
I want to dress sexually, then I want to just sexily,
(07:50):
like I don't all these considerations, And the only way
to escape that is to do like the other total
opposite into the sect room and do something really funny
where you're not sexual at all, so hopefully you can
escape this kind of attention. I mean, that's a whole
other conversation too of like what costumes, How costume design
(08:13):
for women has been in generally sexy, so like what's
available to you to choose from sex and so we
talked about that really tell me more. It essentially was
Halloween and the costumes were I think like sexy cat
or oh frumby which or something like that. Essentially, let's
(08:34):
say either you're one or the other, and you can't
there's and they're like Yep, you just said a whole
mouthful right there. Yeah, it's essentially. Yeah, we talked about
that all the time, the Madonna and the Horse and droom,
like eventually you have to choose one or the other.
And I thought about that too, and I'm feeling like
really sad and down on myself, like how long can
I get away with cosplaying before people just think I
put think just terrible about having fun to continue to
(08:58):
do it, but that is like sometimes I do feel
really embarrassed when I do it, and there's a weird
like and I'm thinking of conventions specifically here, Um, this
is a dude space and my dude costume is really
good while yours is silly and like not good and
I don't want to be around you, and it's it's
(09:18):
very strange because, like I said, again, outside of conventions,
I feel like causeway is more of a woman's realm
and has been. But you enter that space and suddenly
it's like you are just an amateur trying to keep up.
And that can differ by genre too, because some genres
have more intense gatekeeping than others, but that that also
(09:41):
comes with it. And we did like the fake geek
Girl episode. I've been tested on my like Marvel knowledge
before when people come up and be like, you don't
have the right to justice as character because you don't
know enough about them or whatever, which is so dumb,
so dumb, And I hate that I get caught up
into it because all sometimes I'll be, oh, yeah, I do,
but I'm like, I should even give it a time
(10:02):
of day. It doesn't matter in either case, right, what's
the point in such gatekeeping when are we just here
for fun? Yes? And also, I mean that's a big
h That is a big can of worms that I've
tried to like let go. But I I don't feel
(10:24):
like I'm very good at making things. And there is
a kind of an air around dragon Con because dragon
Con is the one in Atlanta is more about costumes
and cosplay than it is about, I would say, the
guests or celebrities. That's been my experience. And that being said,
there is a level of judgment that comes with if
(10:45):
you bought your costume versus if you've made it, And
I really don't care. I do appreciate when people took
the time and have the skill to make it, but
I really, you know, great for you, but I'm not
going to judge people for buying stuff. Yeah. I can
impact up more later, but for simplicity's sake right now, generally,
I'm not going to judge people for buying stuff. But
(11:06):
I find that a lot of the guys who I
felt judged by I have bought like everything they have,
and I've made mine, and I guess mine is like
you can tell I made it, but a damned if
you do, damned if you don't. I'm telling you it's true. Yeah,
(11:35):
this is just my anecdotal experience, and I feel like
I do have a lot of anecdotal experience with friends
of mine as well. But I also feel like there's
a a level of you're not X enough to be
this character, which does happen to men, but I think
it happens way more to women. It was like, you're
not strong enough and you could never be strong enough,
or you're not you don't fit the part for whatever reason,
(11:58):
and therefore you're just like a little girl masquerading around.
Just gross too and kind of unrealistic because most of
the characters you're dressing up as you're nothing alike. Sorry,
so may you may look somewhat like that person but
that doesn't mean you have that personality nor mindset or
(12:18):
superhero abilities. You're not magic, bro, So why are you
trying to get keep? Because they don't look enough like
all you like you're faking too, like you're making pretend
and enjoying your life and having a moment that's a
little outside reality because it's nice to escape reality. So
(12:43):
let it be. Yeah, Well, and I think that's we
could come back and have a bigger conversation about that,
and we've talked about it a little in other things.
But and I could be totally wrong. This could be
just me, you know, analyzing dude fans at these conventions
that have done this to me, because I've met plenty
of nice, like male fans, but in general, my bad
(13:03):
experiences have been with dudes at these things. And it's
almost like they're so insecure, like they feel like they've
been made fun of for being nerds for their life.
And we talked about this with Gatekeeping for sure, like
that they want to put you down and make you
feel like I've done the hard work, I know what
(13:25):
I'm talking about. I've earned this expertise and their right
to do this, and they just assume because you're a
woman that you haven't and I feel, I don't know,
it feels to me like it's coming from a place
of insecurity, And I could be totally wrong, but like
they're they're nervous about being made fun of, so they're like,
I'm gonna make fun of her before she can get
(13:45):
me first. Oh sure, there's a lot of insecurity and
a lot of this. Again, he's part of it. Some
people take it very seriously, very seriously, like we talked
about with fandoms, don't mess with people. Step out of line.
You're gonna get called out real quick. And it goes
beyond just loving something, and therefore it becomes a whole
(14:10):
other level of ownership, which is not the worst thing,
but can become unhealthy. Oh absolutely. And there there's so
many avenues of cosplay which I love, that have been
unhealthy and are improving. Um. And when you talk about
conventions and specific like the things we talked about all
(14:32):
the time, like there's layers of racism and ableism and sexism,
just because it's not like it's separate from the world.
It's that's the world we live in. So there are
aspects of that as well. And I'm glad we're having
those conversations and also just you know, access, like who
can afford to go to these things and who can
afford to buy their costume? Are to make their own costume,
(14:53):
like all that stuff, and then we're judging people who
had to do whatever they had to do to be
a character that they want to be and love and
then making them feel guilty about it, which it should
be a fun experience where we're sharing like a love
of something. And I think, you know again, I know
I bring it up all the time, but like things
like fan fiction, I feel like there's a judgment of
(15:16):
my way is the right way to enjoy a fandom?
You don't get it. You're making it worse for being
here as a woman because it's so I feel like
there's just a layer of seeing as weaker like you
were making How dare you dress as the Winter Soldier?
Because now I feel like he's weak and effeminate like
that aspects of it. All that being said, I do
(15:36):
love cosplaying and I find it really rewarding. I find
the dressing up of rewarding. And I also, like I said,
I don't feel like I'm good at making things, but
I did make it like I was persistent and determined
and there was some amount of of real success that
I got from that, And especially when um the Winter
Soldier arm I've made four of them, and they I
(15:57):
feel like they got better and better and I eventually
got so good at it. I posted a video on
my Instagram of like, here's how you do it. I
did it one like, you know, a couple of hours,
whereas before it took me like months to do it.
So I feel like there's so many levels of expertise
in this, whether it is your knowledge of it or
your love of something or how you made it. And
people get really really creative, and I'll never forget one
(16:19):
time this like college professor came up to me like
took a picture and you know, said can I use
this in my art class? How did you do this?
And that's that's a wonderful feelure. And I think like
a lot of women do that where we doubt the
things that we've made or have done or put together
and we shouldn't like we shouldn't have that level of doubt.
(16:40):
That being said, we have an episode coming up on
blogs and you asked me, Samantha, like if you could
have made something doing something else, or if you could
have a blog, what would it be. You would obviously
be fan picture, but I think I could do a
cosplay one because that's where I've gotten a lot of
tips for how to make things through cosplay blogs. And
I once was asked if I would cosplays for actually,
and I thought, the damn business card. But there's a
(17:03):
light where time out there cosplaying and getting paid for it.
You should because your stuff is really good, very thought out.
I think you have a lot of good supporters because
you're friends. Some of your friends are amazing at this
cosplay thing, and again our friend of the show, Holly
amazing at this cosplay thing, just amazing. And general loan crafting,
(17:24):
I have no skills, so I would definitely be that
person that would buy things. I mean, I'm not even pretending.
It's not like I'm being self deprecating. I really don't
have the crafting skills to make things. I can barely
draw things. My handwriting is unintelligible, Like that's just it's
just bad. So for people who do things, I'm like, wow,
great job, and you do a great job. Oh thank you.
(17:48):
You know, as always was never an attempt to get
a compliment, but I will take it. I will take it.
And I have had to be creative and I've I've
liked that, like I've had to like find pieces and
stuff that normally wouldn't go together and make it. And I,
you know what, proud of that profit you should be.
But listeners, oh my goodness. If you have cosplay pictures
you want to share with us our tips, please send
(18:11):
them our way. You can emails at Stephanie and mom
Stuff at I heart me dot com. You can find
us on Instagram at stuff We'd ever told you or
on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always, you
are super producer. Christina also good at most things she does.
I believe, yes, oh for sure. And thanks to you
for listening. Steph, I never told you his protection of
I Heart Radio. For more podcasts are my Heart Radio
because the Heart Radio ap Apple podcast. I'll ready listen
(18:31):
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Samantha McVey
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