October 27, 2025 • 24 mins
Recent conversations online have only highlighted that, with the help of the current US administration, victim-blaming and dismissal of women is alive and well.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Welcome to stuff I never told your productive of iHeart Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
All right, we are going to put a content warning
from Jump because we are talking sexual assault, rape and
harassment in pre in depth. So if you want to
bypass this understandable. This Monday Mini is one of those
that I am thoroughly anxious about and angry about because
I see no change and such reversal in what has
(00:41):
happened in our society that we can't ignore it, and
it's there's so much, Okay, So to kind of top
it off and tell you why I'm talking about this,
A couple of weeks ago, while I was going through
my usual doom scrolling, I watched a video of myself
on my far bocam not a sponsor, about how often
I am watching I'm on my phone and it is
(01:03):
constant and it's disturbing. And the reason I have my
far bones so my partner can see myself and my
dog so but because he's out of town right now.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
But I don't know why I'm telling all that.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
But anyway, all that to say is I got to
stop with the dune's throwing. Anyway, going back to the story,
so as I was scrolling, a young woman came on
my feet talking about her experience as a door dasher.
So just to kind of summarize what happened, she i'll
the video that I initially saw was her explaining that
she had taken a delivery set at the door and
(01:34):
only to notice that the door of the delivery was
wide open, which is kind of concerning. If my door
was wide open, or anybody else's door wide open, I'd
be like, are y'all, okay, what's going on? But in
that she could plainly see a man without his pants
on or underwear on all, like they were completely down
to his pants down to his ankles while he was
like covering his face with his arm and his pants
(01:55):
was out. And she was like, wow, that was weird,
And she sent a notice to door Dash asking to like,
I guess kicked him off the app because that was concerning.
Like she didn't say anything to him, she didn't scream
or yell. She's like, well, that was weird, walked away
because I know for all the DoorDash people that they
have to record that they have delivered it, so they're
(02:16):
at least taking a picture. I think she turned the
camera on when she saw the door open, because she
was kind of concerned about what was happening. I would too,
especially the area looked isolated because I couldn't hear any
cards in the background or whatever. Because her video has
been replaced since then, so I've seen.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
It pieces of it.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I actually saw the whole thing, and I was like, oh, damn, Okay, yeah,
I can understand why she started filming. Being a female
DoorDash or a young, small female do DoorDash er, she
was kind of concerned about what's happening whatever may have been.
But she also posted it online as well to be like, well,
that was a weird interaction. And at the same time,
she figured out when all this happened that she actually
got kicked off door Dash herself, so she was no
(02:56):
longer allowed to deliver, and she was concerned about what
was going on. She was and given the next reason,
so she went in and was like trying to figure
it out, and she was imploring the viewers to find
out what's going on, essentially, because we know that a
lot of people have been taking corporations public on social
media to get justice or even just a refund, just
a response, and and that it went.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Like mile very quickly.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Everybody was like, we're boycotting Door Dash, how dare you
da da da da da again also not a sponsor.
I don't think they wanted to talk about this, and
all these things happen in very quick secession. By the way,
so that happened DoorDash made a statement about the fact
that they have policies that you cannot doc customers, in
which they responded saying that she had posted his address
and all these things. So I'm like, okay, that is concerning,
(03:42):
and you don't want that to happen. At the same time,
there's a lot of bad happening here. All of a
sudden comes this slander. I don't know how it popped off,
because it was like a couple of back back to back,
Like you know, social media moves quick. If something is
picked up, it goes very quickly. New videos are popped
up with different influencers talking about how new information has
(04:03):
come to light. The door was never actually opened. She
pushed it open and then took films of him to
be considered revenge porn. She purposely recorded him in order
to get this reaction, and she lied about being assaulted.
So this is where I was concerned number one, because
I was like, wait, what okay, if all these other
(04:25):
things happen, which is still kind of odd, why would
the door be open if she opened that door. That's
still concerning for sure, but also like, huh, this is
sexual harassment in different states that is coded as sexual
harassments could be considered sexual assault. It is public indecency.
These are sexual violations that can get you in trouble. Typically,
(04:48):
public indecency is a misdemeanor case in most of the places,
but if you get enough charges, it's obvious that if
you're getting sexually aroused or sexual pleasure from these types
of a this is a sexual violent act, whether you
want to call it that or not. People were really
going in how dare you use this language? I am
(05:08):
a survivor. I would never like you are making my
incident look less. And I was like, that's a weird take,
because I myself, who has also been a victim and
a survivor.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
We've talked about this before.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I've also been flashed, and I will tell you that
haunted me because I was so upset with myself with
the way I reacted that I didn't feel like I
reacted mad enough that allowed things to happen with him,
like not being punished because I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I just kind of I.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Froze and it upset me pretty terribly, Like I still
think about it and get like sick of my stomach.
In this set, I never interact with him, We never talked.
He did it and walked away, like I think I
actually haunked my horn at him because he was in
the middle of the road. Like it was such an
odd occurrence, but I absolutely felt violated, and I still
do to this day. It makes me feel nauseous. So
(05:56):
it was such a weird response to me that these
were the things I'm coming out. Whether she did the
other things, yes, sure, But it comes back round about
a few days later where it turns out nobody had
proof of this accusation that at first they were like
she said it in her first post that she opened
the door. Nope, never said it. The post that she posted,
(06:17):
which she shouldn't have posted. I think she should have
definitely given it to door Dash or to the like
cops or whatever. But at the same time, we let me,
let me backtrack, let's say that she should not have
posted it. I'm not gonna actually say that. What I'm
gonna say is, we know oftentimes if we don't have
that type of proof, we're not believed, we being victims
(06:38):
and survivors, and even if we do, still not believed.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
And this was kind of that prime example.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
And not only that that it became completely different. It
got a good, completely different take where people were saying,
she said this, she opened the door, she admitted it,
and there's never that video. They started photoshopping it to
make it look like it was cracked when it was
actually wide open. They tried to pretend like she saw
him out when it was very in plain view, and
(07:05):
that also she was there forever looking for this when
actually it was a very quick incident, and her going, well,
that's weird to the fact that, like we had people
with millions of followers saying that she's a liar, and
people who are rape apologists coming back with this is
why we can't believe all women. They even compared her
to the white woman who had Emmitt still murdered like
(07:30):
that that, yeah, that's how it went. That, this is
why how this happened. They accused her of the same thing,
and I was like, what is happening. What. I don't
get involved in these because like it is one of
(07:50):
those things that you need to see it how it
plays out before making any And then I'm not making
any assumptions on any of these things.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
These are the things that I've followed.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
And then came these conversations of people coming back to, hey,
you see what's happening here? This is an odd take.
Why are y'all talking about this woman like this? She
comes on upset and like I will say her video
because I don't always believe like people who come home
with the crying and tears. It was kind of like
(08:18):
shocking her. She was screaming into the video, talking about
why I'm the victim? Why are you doing this to me?
And so like there's so much emotion and heaviness in
this plot. And then came other conversations about like could
these be bots? People are starting to think that maybe
a big corporation have bought bots in order to do
this smear campaign against this woman because they were dropping
(08:40):
in subscribers. So this was from a Reddit post, because
there's a lot of Reddit posts, you know, Reddit has
a whole lot of feels, and this is one of
the things they talk about, and they gave an overview
of the incident, and they go in to say. On
TikTok and Twitter, the overwhelming consensus seems to be that
the door was originally just cracked open and DoorDash driver
was the one who opened it. Comments claimed that one
she posted a video of actually opening it and going inside,
(09:03):
and two she made a follow up video where she
talked about opening the door. Literally, thousands of comments, some
with thousands of lights claim that this is the case.
But the strange part is that no one has any
evidence of it. When pressed, People either claim that they
saw video of it on Twitter, Reddit but cannot produce
a link, that video doesn't exist because it was instantly
(09:25):
deleted from TikTok, come on, who's buying that in twenty
twenty five, or post an image of wide open door
cropped in half to make it look like the door
is not wide open. All the options seemed strange, door
Dash or some other entity running a propaganda campaign. People
being done on the internet and claiming they saw it
just because everyone else is claiming the same thing, or
it genuinely was a viral video, or that no one
(09:48):
saved or screenshoted, so everybody's this is like nothing on
the internet goes away.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
We've talked about this before.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
People do screenshot things, people do screen record things because
that's what they do. There has not been one single video.
Her first video interestingly shows pretty quickly what happened. Act
she drops it off, opens it up, and it's like
the way you open the door comes towards you, so
it doesn't even go in. You have to pull the
door open. And there's two doors by the way, there's
(10:17):
an actual door and a screen door, and both are
wide open. So all of these things aren't very odd
because they have yet to show any video. And then
there's this case that the due came on and had
a whole thing and how he had a ring video,
and in the video that she posts there's no ring camera,
so it's kind of like there now with all of that,
(10:42):
it has since come out that people have been doxing
him like they did dox him. They one specific dude
who does this whole thing of like, I don't know,
we talked about the people call out people who go
after people like this, and I've kind of had this
mixed feeling.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
I don't love it, like it.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
There's something about this that's not let's kind of bite
everybody in the butt, And people who are crusading to
do this are not always to me genuine and trying
to be helpful as much as this is getting them views.
But all of that to say, like someone does look
him up. Supposedly he has another charge with something similar
to this, that they found these. I don't know if
(11:19):
that's true. I don't know if that's validated. Everybody wants
to say it is. But of course, again watching this
in real time, going back and forth, like there's proof
that she lied, here's this, she's not a victim? How
dare she use it? Like? It was such a back
and forth and I was like, what is happening? And
that made me start thinking as I was researching this,
what happened since the beginning of Me Too? Has our attitudes?
(11:41):
Has the public attitudes? Has a justice system changed in
believing victim?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Then? You know, just just a quick reminder.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
This is something to Rona Brooke started in two thousand
and six, which was brought to social media in twenty
seventeen by a celebrity that also coincided with the Times
Up when a lot of sexual harassment, sexual assaults of violence, rape,
and all of these things were happening in different industries
and no one was believing it, and so both of
these things came in conjunction. So there are several articles
from twenty twenty four talking about how, yes, actually this
(12:11):
has helped. It's established some nonprofits and funded some good organizations,
and people are starting to do a little more listening
more so than anything else. Victims and survivors are coming
out fighting, so that's lovely to see. But the reality
of all that is just like in this narrative, not
much has changed. Survivors are still not being believed. As
(12:32):
in fact, Newsweek recently did an article about the issue,
and they did report on this saying, according to the
National Sexual Violence Resource Center, eighty one percent of women
and forty one percent of men in the US experienced
some form of sexual harassment or assault. So like it
is happening. I was trying to get all the data,
and I was, I was looking through different ones, but
nothing is The change has been so non existent that
(12:54):
the numbers have not changed. It's one in six for
like rape for women, like is still that same number
that we saw And I know we did report when
I first started, because I was very like, we need
to talk about these things. It kind of was the
reason we started the podcast together, and it's not changed.
In fact, the not believing women has kind of gotten
(13:16):
worse since the administration. I'm going to talk about that
in a minute, because that's another rabbit hole that I
think we're gonna have to look into, and I don't
want to because it's going to make me sad and sick.
But also the other common conversation in this is that
the gig workers, including people like DoorDash, are actually the
number one people in the in any industry, in workforce
that are harassed or assaulted. So it's not uncommon to
(13:40):
see as in fact, I saw like article after article
about Uber's problem with sexual harassment and how they are
not doing anything to address it. So we know Uber, Door, Dash, Lift,
all of them kind of go hand in hand in
what they do, like people are interchangeable in this in
these organizations, and that they are not believed. In fact,
(14:03):
the amount of cases that has not gone down in
any kind of justice. P Diddy case was very apparent
about how they did not believe women, as well as
the baseball player who rate, the several young girls he
got off with like a slap on the wrist. I
just saw another case where he got a sweetheart deal,
as in like he just was on probation and wasn't
(14:23):
even on the offender list. Brock Turner, I believe he
goes by Alan Turner now was a prime example of
what he's doing. And people I love the people who
were like, hey, he's in this town now, this is
what he goes by, this is what he looks like.
Remember him, yes, remember them. But these are prime examples
of the fact that the women are still not believed,
(14:44):
like it's still just as bad as it was. And yeah,
with all of this, the quick research brought up a
lot of statistics of how the current administration has allowed
for this toxic culture to continue and their policies have
(15:06):
put a strain on any forward movement in helping survivors
getting any justice. So this is from the National Women's
Lossenter about what they have kind of done, like loosely
about day done.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
So this is their quote.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Trump directed that his administration to freeze funding, including to
the Sinners for Disease Control and Prevention CDC's rape Prevention
and Education program, leaving organizations confused, causing some to lay
off staff and disrupting their ability to maintain basic services.
The groups impacted include those that work on sexual violence
prevention in schools and colleges. Also, the Department of Justice
(15:38):
DOJ's Office on Violence against Women, another critical source of
funding for group's tackling sexual violence, removed information about grant
opportunities from their website, creating additional confusion and concern for
service providers. Trump issued executive orders targeting diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives,
putting LGBTQIA plus and survivors of color particularly at risk.
(16:00):
Survivor's services programs now face a cruel choice scrub inclusive
languages from their website to stay compliant and keep funding,
or stand up for their most vulnerable communities and risk
financial ruin. Within weeks of the executive orders, the Office
of Management and Budget flag more than two dozen DOJ
programs for compliance review that distributed over half a billion
dollars to combat sexual violence. And if you want a reminder, yes,
(16:24):
the people who are most vulnerable and highest in statistics
for sexual violence for being victims of sexual violence are
people of color and marginalized people. Trump's anti DEI executive
orders have cost fear and confusion among survivor advocates. Organizations
are left guessing how to navigate murky maindates while maintaining
their core values and commitments to LGBTQI A plus and
(16:47):
survivors of color. Trump's cut targeting sanctuary cities threatened rape
crisis programs and communities that they are to protect immigrants,
so especially if you're an immigrant, you have no rise
for protection, like we already know that. As in fact,
there's a lot of concerned about what is happening to
the women and children and the detention centers, and there's
no accountability, like we know that the one thing John
(17:07):
Osof did with the first Attention center happening CS under Obama,
we're disgusting and really concerning. He got a lot of
information that he's trying to get more information and a
lot of other people are too, and we're not getting it.
And it's kind of concerning. Actually it's very concerning. Trump
recently laid off staff and gutted core programs at CDC,
(17:28):
including within the Divisions of Violence Prevention that includes programs
focused on rape prevention.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Education.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Experts at CDC including the director of the Office of
Family Violence and Prevention Services, who funded and evaluated programs
aiming at reducing sexual violence, have been placed on leave,
disrupting funding pipelines two rape crisis centers, causing organizations to
shift services away from supporting survivors. As a result of this,
decades of this crucial work will be lost. So that
(17:56):
was all from their site. And by the way, that
doesn't include the amount of rape kits that have been
ignored and are now done for, done for, so no
justice whatsoever. It has only increased the problem. We already
know that he did away with a lot of anything
that had around women's protection from jump.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
So that was the thing.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
And for the fact, the biggest concern for the GOP
is protecting the children and women. They sure don't care
about helping anyone or getting justice for anyone, it says
from fulcrum dot com, written by mel Bailey. In the
weeks following the twenty twenty four election, the President selected
five men for senior government positions who have either been
(18:37):
accused of rape or sexual misconduct, or have been entangled
in serious allegations of their mistreatment of women, reflecting a
troubling societal acceptance of the disregard for women, their safety,
and their rights. A January twenty twenty four study published
by JAMA or JAMMA Internal Medicine one revealed that in
the years following the overturn of Robi Wade, a Supreme
(18:59):
Court decision that the stripped women in the US of
their constitutional right to access abortion healthcare, sixty four thousand
pregnancies in fourteen US states resulted from rape. Imagine if
this figure is extrapolated to include all fifty states and
what that means about how many rapes are occurring in
the US overall. Despite this alarming data, the conversation around
(19:23):
sexual violence remains disturbingly muted. I hate this information having
to go through and look at all this conversation. And
of course this has not included the conversation about the
fact that Epstein files have been interestingly blocked by all
(19:45):
these same people who are like save the children, Save
the children.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, and who campaigned on yeah will make.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Them, well, we will make the public. And yet they're
saying we're not doing that. My Johnson, mister godly man
of God, No, that's none of your business.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, we need to move on. Yeah, why are you
still talking about that.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
But that is exactly what's happening. This is why we
have a problem, because they are doing so hard a
campaign against any survivors and victims that if those files
do come out, they can easily turn around be like, no,
she's a liar.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
She's a liar. She's a liar, she's a liar. These
can't be right, These can't be right.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
She's not pretty enough, which has been still the most
infuriating in conversation I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Let me punch you in the dick because you deserve it.
And I've stand by that. I don't condone violence, but
stand by that conversation. There's a lot going on in
any form of sexual violence, any form of sexual harassment
and assaults is disgusting. And as a person who worked
in social work that can look at patterns, especially when
(20:51):
I watched the young kids go from the sexual predator
to an adult as an adult and trying to get treatment,
you can see a clear level of attempt and oftentimes
it starts with lude behavior as publican decency, voyeurism, touching, grooming.
This is that conversation we've talked about like to see
what they can get away with, and then it grows.
(21:14):
This is really alarming that people really want to pin
survivors against survivors, saying this is not as bad as this,
and really think that's okay. Don't get me wrong. There
are like, according to the judicial system, levels of intent
versus like levels of harm. But an act of sexual
(21:35):
violence is an act of sexual violence. And even though
for a while the public in society wanting to make
that a joke, this type of sexual violence publican decency
exposing themselves as a joke, they should understand that it
is very harmful. And I don't know anything about this
young lady's history, but like I said, when I was
(21:56):
flashed as an adult, seeing that was one of the
things that really even talking about it now, I'm a
little shaken, like I want to vomit, But like this
is that conversation like that blows my mind. If nothing else,
like the nothing like if it even had proven that
she had opened the door, whatever, whatnot.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
That's a whole different conversation. But one of the biggest
things that I'm like, why are we.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Saying, how dare you minimize my experience by having this
experience and talking about it. It's such an odd take,
and of course I'm always going to be that person
that says feels some type of way that other survivors
can't support some survivors, like it's beyond me that you
can't do that. There's a lot in this conversation, but
(22:40):
I feel like, unfortunately that has opened a lot of
people's eyes or fortunately, it's just unfortunate that that's the
standing we have in society, is that we are backtracking
and seeing many people turn against victims and survivors and
not willing to believe even in this day and age,
(23:01):
even when there's there's evidence that they are still willing
to demonize the victim and survivor more than the perpetrator. Yeah, sorry, y'all,
Happy Monday.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah, happy Monday. No, it is very important and we
will all have to come back and revisit it because
there's just so many threats to that conversation that are very,
very scary, and we're seeing them play out in all
kinds of ways. So listeners, if you have any thoughts
or resources about any of this, you can write in
(23:36):
and let us know. You can email us at Hello
at stuff onnever Told You dot com. You can also
find us on Blue Skype, momps of podcast or on
Instagram and TikTok at Stuff I.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Never Told You.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
We're also on YouTube. We have some new merchandise at
Cotton Hero, and we have a book you can get
wherever you get earbooks. Thanks as always here a superroducer Christina,
executive producer By and a contributor Joey. Thank you and
thanks to you for listening Stuff Never Told You instruction
my Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio,
you can check out the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast wherever
you listen to your favorite shows
Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Welcome to stuff I never told your productive of iHeart Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
All right, we are going to put a content warning
from Jump because we are talking sexual assault, rape and
harassment in pre in depth. So if you want to
bypass this understandable. This Monday Mini is one of those
that I am thoroughly anxious about and angry about because
I see no change and such reversal in what has
(00:41):
happened in our society that we can't ignore it, and
it's there's so much, Okay, So to kind of top
it off and tell you why I'm talking about this,
A couple of weeks ago, while I was going through
my usual doom scrolling, I watched a video of myself
on my far bocam not a sponsor, about how often
I am watching I'm on my phone and it is
(01:03):
constant and it's disturbing. And the reason I have my
far bones so my partner can see myself and my
dog so but because he's out of town right now.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
But I don't know why I'm telling all that.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
But anyway, all that to say is I got to
stop with the dune's throwing. Anyway, going back to the story,
so as I was scrolling, a young woman came on
my feet talking about her experience as a door dasher.
So just to kind of summarize what happened, she i'll
the video that I initially saw was her explaining that
she had taken a delivery set at the door and
(01:34):
only to notice that the door of the delivery was
wide open, which is kind of concerning. If my door
was wide open, or anybody else's door wide open, I'd
be like, are y'all, okay, what's going on? But in
that she could plainly see a man without his pants
on or underwear on all, like they were completely down
to his pants down to his ankles while he was
like covering his face with his arm and his pants
(01:55):
was out. And she was like, wow, that was weird,
And she sent a notice to door Dash asking to like,
I guess kicked him off the app because that was concerning.
Like she didn't say anything to him, she didn't scream
or yell. She's like, well, that was weird, walked away
because I know for all the DoorDash people that they
have to record that they have delivered it, so they're
(02:16):
at least taking a picture. I think she turned the
camera on when she saw the door open, because she
was kind of concerned about what was happening. I would too,
especially the area looked isolated because I couldn't hear any
cards in the background or whatever. Because her video has
been replaced since then, so I've seen.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
It pieces of it.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I actually saw the whole thing, and I was like, oh, damn, Okay, yeah,
I can understand why she started filming. Being a female
DoorDash or a young, small female do DoorDash er, she
was kind of concerned about what's happening whatever may have been.
But she also posted it online as well to be like, well,
that was a weird interaction. And at the same time,
she figured out when all this happened that she actually
got kicked off door Dash herself, so she was no
(02:56):
longer allowed to deliver, and she was concerned about what
was going on. She was and given the next reason,
so she went in and was like trying to figure
it out, and she was imploring the viewers to find
out what's going on, essentially, because we know that a
lot of people have been taking corporations public on social
media to get justice or even just a refund, just
a response, and and that it went.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Like mile very quickly.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Everybody was like, we're boycotting Door Dash, how dare you
da da da da da again also not a sponsor.
I don't think they wanted to talk about this, and
all these things happen in very quick secession. By the way,
so that happened DoorDash made a statement about the fact
that they have policies that you cannot doc customers, in
which they responded saying that she had posted his address
and all these things. So I'm like, okay, that is concerning,
(03:42):
and you don't want that to happen. At the same time,
there's a lot of bad happening here. All of a
sudden comes this slander. I don't know how it popped off,
because it was like a couple of back back to back,
Like you know, social media moves quick. If something is
picked up, it goes very quickly. New videos are popped
up with different influencers talking about how new information has
(04:03):
come to light. The door was never actually opened. She
pushed it open and then took films of him to
be considered revenge porn. She purposely recorded him in order
to get this reaction, and she lied about being assaulted.
So this is where I was concerned number one, because
I was like, wait, what okay, if all these other
(04:25):
things happen, which is still kind of odd, why would
the door be open if she opened that door. That's
still concerning for sure, but also like, huh, this is
sexual harassment in different states that is coded as sexual
harassments could be considered sexual assault. It is public indecency.
These are sexual violations that can get you in trouble. Typically,
(04:48):
public indecency is a misdemeanor case in most of the places,
but if you get enough charges, it's obvious that if
you're getting sexually aroused or sexual pleasure from these types
of a this is a sexual violent act, whether you
want to call it that or not. People were really
going in how dare you use this language? I am
(05:08):
a survivor. I would never like you are making my
incident look less. And I was like, that's a weird take,
because I myself, who has also been a victim and
a survivor.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
We've talked about this before.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I've also been flashed, and I will tell you that
haunted me because I was so upset with myself with
the way I reacted that I didn't feel like I
reacted mad enough that allowed things to happen with him,
like not being punished because I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I just kind of I.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Froze and it upset me pretty terribly, Like I still
think about it and get like sick of my stomach.
In this set, I never interact with him, We never talked.
He did it and walked away, like I think I
actually haunked my horn at him because he was in
the middle of the road. Like it was such an
odd occurrence, but I absolutely felt violated, and I still
do to this day. It makes me feel nauseous. So
(05:56):
it was such a weird response to me that these
were the things I'm coming out. Whether she did the
other things, yes, sure, But it comes back round about
a few days later where it turns out nobody had
proof of this accusation that at first they were like
she said it in her first post that she opened
the door. Nope, never said it. The post that she posted,
(06:17):
which she shouldn't have posted. I think she should have
definitely given it to door Dash or to the like
cops or whatever. But at the same time, we let me,
let me backtrack, let's say that she should not have
posted it. I'm not gonna actually say that. What I'm
gonna say is, we know oftentimes if we don't have
that type of proof, we're not believed, we being victims
(06:38):
and survivors, and even if we do, still not believed.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
And this was kind of that prime example.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
And not only that that it became completely different. It
got a good, completely different take where people were saying,
she said this, she opened the door, she admitted it,
and there's never that video. They started photoshopping it to
make it look like it was cracked when it was
actually wide open. They tried to pretend like she saw
him out when it was very in plain view, and
(07:05):
that also she was there forever looking for this when
actually it was a very quick incident, and her going, well,
that's weird to the fact that, like we had people
with millions of followers saying that she's a liar, and
people who are rape apologists coming back with this is
why we can't believe all women. They even compared her
to the white woman who had Emmitt still murdered like
(07:30):
that that, yeah, that's how it went. That, this is
why how this happened. They accused her of the same thing,
and I was like, what is happening. What. I don't
get involved in these because like it is one of
(07:50):
those things that you need to see it how it
plays out before making any And then I'm not making
any assumptions on any of these things.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
These are the things that I've followed.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
And then came these conversations of people coming back to, hey,
you see what's happening here? This is an odd take.
Why are y'all talking about this woman like this? She
comes on upset and like I will say her video
because I don't always believe like people who come home
with the crying and tears. It was kind of like
(08:18):
shocking her. She was screaming into the video, talking about
why I'm the victim? Why are you doing this to me?
And so like there's so much emotion and heaviness in
this plot. And then came other conversations about like could
these be bots? People are starting to think that maybe
a big corporation have bought bots in order to do
this smear campaign against this woman because they were dropping
(08:40):
in subscribers. So this was from a Reddit post, because
there's a lot of Reddit posts, you know, Reddit has
a whole lot of feels, and this is one of
the things they talk about, and they gave an overview
of the incident, and they go in to say. On
TikTok and Twitter, the overwhelming consensus seems to be that
the door was originally just cracked open and DoorDash driver
was the one who opened it. Comments claimed that one
she posted a video of actually opening it and going inside,
(09:03):
and two she made a follow up video where she
talked about opening the door. Literally, thousands of comments, some
with thousands of lights claim that this is the case.
But the strange part is that no one has any
evidence of it. When pressed, People either claim that they
saw video of it on Twitter, Reddit but cannot produce
a link, that video doesn't exist because it was instantly
(09:25):
deleted from TikTok, come on, who's buying that in twenty
twenty five, or post an image of wide open door
cropped in half to make it look like the door
is not wide open. All the options seemed strange, door
Dash or some other entity running a propaganda campaign. People
being done on the internet and claiming they saw it
just because everyone else is claiming the same thing, or
it genuinely was a viral video, or that no one
(09:48):
saved or screenshoted, so everybody's this is like nothing on
the internet goes away.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
We've talked about this before.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
People do screenshot things, people do screen record things because
that's what they do. There has not been one single video.
Her first video interestingly shows pretty quickly what happened. Act
she drops it off, opens it up, and it's like
the way you open the door comes towards you, so
it doesn't even go in. You have to pull the
door open. And there's two doors by the way, there's
(10:17):
an actual door and a screen door, and both are
wide open. So all of these things aren't very odd
because they have yet to show any video. And then
there's this case that the due came on and had
a whole thing and how he had a ring video,
and in the video that she posts there's no ring camera,
so it's kind of like there now with all of that,
(10:42):
it has since come out that people have been doxing
him like they did dox him. They one specific dude
who does this whole thing of like, I don't know,
we talked about the people call out people who go
after people like this, and I've kind of had this
mixed feeling.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
I don't love it, like it.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
There's something about this that's not let's kind of bite
everybody in the butt, And people who are crusading to
do this are not always to me genuine and trying
to be helpful as much as this is getting them views.
But all of that to say, like someone does look
him up. Supposedly he has another charge with something similar
to this, that they found these. I don't know if
(11:19):
that's true. I don't know if that's validated. Everybody wants
to say it is. But of course, again watching this
in real time, going back and forth, like there's proof
that she lied, here's this, she's not a victim? How
dare she use it? Like? It was such a back
and forth and I was like, what is happening? And
that made me start thinking as I was researching this,
what happened since the beginning of Me Too? Has our attitudes?
(11:41):
Has the public attitudes? Has a justice system changed in
believing victim?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Then? You know, just just a quick reminder.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
This is something to Rona Brooke started in two thousand
and six, which was brought to social media in twenty
seventeen by a celebrity that also coincided with the Times
Up when a lot of sexual harassment, sexual assaults of violence, rape,
and all of these things were happening in different industries
and no one was believing it, and so both of
these things came in conjunction. So there are several articles
from twenty twenty four talking about how, yes, actually this
(12:11):
has helped. It's established some nonprofits and funded some good organizations,
and people are starting to do a little more listening
more so than anything else. Victims and survivors are coming
out fighting, so that's lovely to see. But the reality
of all that is just like in this narrative, not
much has changed. Survivors are still not being believed. As
(12:32):
in fact, Newsweek recently did an article about the issue,
and they did report on this saying, according to the
National Sexual Violence Resource Center, eighty one percent of women
and forty one percent of men in the US experienced
some form of sexual harassment or assault. So like it
is happening. I was trying to get all the data,
and I was, I was looking through different ones, but
nothing is The change has been so non existent that
(12:54):
the numbers have not changed. It's one in six for
like rape for women, like is still that same number
that we saw And I know we did report when
I first started, because I was very like, we need
to talk about these things. It kind of was the
reason we started the podcast together, and it's not changed.
In fact, the not believing women has kind of gotten
(13:16):
worse since the administration. I'm going to talk about that
in a minute, because that's another rabbit hole that I
think we're gonna have to look into, and I don't
want to because it's going to make me sad and sick.
But also the other common conversation in this is that
the gig workers, including people like DoorDash, are actually the
number one people in the in any industry, in workforce
that are harassed or assaulted. So it's not uncommon to
(13:40):
see as in fact, I saw like article after article
about Uber's problem with sexual harassment and how they are
not doing anything to address it. So we know Uber, Door, Dash, Lift,
all of them kind of go hand in hand in
what they do, like people are interchangeable in this in
these organizations, and that they are not believed. In fact,
(14:03):
the amount of cases that has not gone down in
any kind of justice. P Diddy case was very apparent
about how they did not believe women, as well as
the baseball player who rate, the several young girls he
got off with like a slap on the wrist. I
just saw another case where he got a sweetheart deal,
as in like he just was on probation and wasn't
(14:23):
even on the offender list. Brock Turner, I believe he
goes by Alan Turner now was a prime example of
what he's doing. And people I love the people who
were like, hey, he's in this town now, this is
what he goes by, this is what he looks like.
Remember him, yes, remember them. But these are prime examples
of the fact that the women are still not believed,
(14:44):
like it's still just as bad as it was. And yeah,
with all of this, the quick research brought up a
lot of statistics of how the current administration has allowed
for this toxic culture to continue and their policies have
(15:06):
put a strain on any forward movement in helping survivors
getting any justice. So this is from the National Women's
Lossenter about what they have kind of done, like loosely
about day done.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
So this is their quote.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Trump directed that his administration to freeze funding, including to
the Sinners for Disease Control and Prevention CDC's rape Prevention
and Education program, leaving organizations confused, causing some to lay
off staff and disrupting their ability to maintain basic services.
The groups impacted include those that work on sexual violence
prevention in schools and colleges. Also, the Department of Justice
(15:38):
DOJ's Office on Violence against Women, another critical source of
funding for group's tackling sexual violence, removed information about grant
opportunities from their website, creating additional confusion and concern for
service providers. Trump issued executive orders targeting diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives,
putting LGBTQIA plus and survivors of color particularly at risk.
(16:00):
Survivor's services programs now face a cruel choice scrub inclusive
languages from their website to stay compliant and keep funding,
or stand up for their most vulnerable communities and risk
financial ruin. Within weeks of the executive orders, the Office
of Management and Budget flag more than two dozen DOJ
programs for compliance review that distributed over half a billion
dollars to combat sexual violence. And if you want a reminder, yes,
(16:24):
the people who are most vulnerable and highest in statistics
for sexual violence for being victims of sexual violence are
people of color and marginalized people. Trump's anti DEI executive
orders have cost fear and confusion among survivor advocates. Organizations
are left guessing how to navigate murky maindates while maintaining
their core values and commitments to LGBTQI A plus and
(16:47):
survivors of color. Trump's cut targeting sanctuary cities threatened rape
crisis programs and communities that they are to protect immigrants,
so especially if you're an immigrant, you have no rise
for protection, like we already know that. As in fact,
there's a lot of concerned about what is happening to
the women and children and the detention centers, and there's
no accountability, like we know that the one thing John
(17:07):
Osof did with the first Attention center happening CS under Obama,
we're disgusting and really concerning. He got a lot of
information that he's trying to get more information and a
lot of other people are too, and we're not getting it.
And it's kind of concerning. Actually it's very concerning. Trump
recently laid off staff and gutted core programs at CDC,
(17:28):
including within the Divisions of Violence Prevention that includes programs
focused on rape prevention.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Education.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Experts at CDC including the director of the Office of
Family Violence and Prevention Services, who funded and evaluated programs
aiming at reducing sexual violence, have been placed on leave,
disrupting funding pipelines two rape crisis centers, causing organizations to
shift services away from supporting survivors. As a result of this,
decades of this crucial work will be lost. So that
(17:56):
was all from their site. And by the way, that
doesn't include the amount of rape kits that have been
ignored and are now done for, done for, so no
justice whatsoever. It has only increased the problem. We already
know that he did away with a lot of anything
that had around women's protection from jump.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
So that was the thing.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
And for the fact, the biggest concern for the GOP
is protecting the children and women. They sure don't care
about helping anyone or getting justice for anyone, it says
from fulcrum dot com, written by mel Bailey. In the
weeks following the twenty twenty four election, the President selected
five men for senior government positions who have either been
(18:37):
accused of rape or sexual misconduct, or have been entangled
in serious allegations of their mistreatment of women, reflecting a
troubling societal acceptance of the disregard for women, their safety,
and their rights. A January twenty twenty four study published
by JAMA or JAMMA Internal Medicine one revealed that in
the years following the overturn of Robi Wade, a Supreme
(18:59):
Court decision that the stripped women in the US of
their constitutional right to access abortion healthcare, sixty four thousand
pregnancies in fourteen US states resulted from rape. Imagine if
this figure is extrapolated to include all fifty states and
what that means about how many rapes are occurring in
the US overall. Despite this alarming data, the conversation around
(19:23):
sexual violence remains disturbingly muted. I hate this information having
to go through and look at all this conversation. And
of course this has not included the conversation about the
fact that Epstein files have been interestingly blocked by all
(19:45):
these same people who are like save the children, Save
the children.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, and who campaigned on yeah will make.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Them, well, we will make the public. And yet they're
saying we're not doing that. My Johnson, mister godly man
of God, No, that's none of your business.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, we need to move on. Yeah, why are you
still talking about that.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
But that is exactly what's happening. This is why we
have a problem, because they are doing so hard a
campaign against any survivors and victims that if those files
do come out, they can easily turn around be like, no,
she's a liar.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
She's a liar. She's a liar, she's a liar. These
can't be right, These can't be right.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
She's not pretty enough, which has been still the most
infuriating in conversation I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Let me punch you in the dick because you deserve it.
And I've stand by that. I don't condone violence, but
stand by that conversation. There's a lot going on in
any form of sexual violence, any form of sexual harassment
and assaults is disgusting. And as a person who worked
in social work that can look at patterns, especially when
(20:51):
I watched the young kids go from the sexual predator
to an adult as an adult and trying to get treatment,
you can see a clear level of attempt and oftentimes
it starts with lude behavior as publican decency, voyeurism, touching, grooming.
This is that conversation we've talked about like to see
what they can get away with, and then it grows.
(21:14):
This is really alarming that people really want to pin
survivors against survivors, saying this is not as bad as this,
and really think that's okay. Don't get me wrong. There
are like, according to the judicial system, levels of intent
versus like levels of harm. But an act of sexual
(21:35):
violence is an act of sexual violence. And even though
for a while the public in society wanting to make
that a joke, this type of sexual violence publican decency
exposing themselves as a joke, they should understand that it
is very harmful. And I don't know anything about this
young lady's history, but like I said, when I was
(21:56):
flashed as an adult, seeing that was one of the
things that really even talking about it now, I'm a
little shaken, like I want to vomit, But like this
is that conversation like that blows my mind. If nothing else,
like the nothing like if it even had proven that
she had opened the door, whatever, whatnot.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
That's a whole different conversation. But one of the biggest
things that I'm like, why are we.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Saying, how dare you minimize my experience by having this
experience and talking about it. It's such an odd take,
and of course I'm always going to be that person
that says feels some type of way that other survivors
can't support some survivors, like it's beyond me that you
can't do that. There's a lot in this conversation, but
(22:40):
I feel like, unfortunately that has opened a lot of
people's eyes or fortunately, it's just unfortunate that that's the
standing we have in society, is that we are backtracking
and seeing many people turn against victims and survivors and
not willing to believe even in this day and age,
(23:01):
even when there's there's evidence that they are still willing
to demonize the victim and survivor more than the perpetrator. Yeah, sorry, y'all,
Happy Monday.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah, happy Monday. No, it is very important and we
will all have to come back and revisit it because
there's just so many threats to that conversation that are very,
very scary, and we're seeing them play out in all
kinds of ways. So listeners, if you have any thoughts
or resources about any of this, you can write in
(23:36):
and let us know. You can email us at Hello
at stuff onnever Told You dot com. You can also
find us on Blue Skype, momps of podcast or on
Instagram and TikTok at Stuff I.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Never Told You.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
We're also on YouTube. We have some new merchandise at
Cotton Hero, and we have a book you can get
wherever you get earbooks. Thanks as always here a superroducer Christina,
executive producer By and a contributor Joey. Thank you and
thanks to you for listening Stuff Never Told You instruction
my Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio,
you can check out the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast wherever
you listen to your favorite shows
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