April 21, 2025 • 12 mins
Sometimes we hesitate to share happy news in dark times, but science tells us it is not only healthy to share, it's healthy to receive it!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this Sanny and Samantha and stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I never told your prediction of by Heart Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
And welcome to another Monday Minni, and this time since
my last one, and I think your last Mendy Mini
were a little bit like dreadful and probably some of
these episodes, a lot of these episodes are dread dreaded
news or things of things that are happening.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
We're gonna do good stuff. So I've mentioned it.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Previously, but I was so excited to see a ten
bit of good news from a friend of the show
and listener.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Susie Hi.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
I know you listens. Good to know you're still listening,
but you know, and she actually elaborated on it. I
was like, oh, I love it. In that episode. I
wanted to add some good things that were happening with me.
I was traveling and things turned out okay and things
are good.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And I had.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Another wonderful conversation with a Zumba friend the other day
who was talking about all this new good things that
have been happening in her life, and I, as I
typically do, ask more and more questions about it because
that's what I do, That's what I'm known for. I
need to know give me the detail, let's talk about this.
And towards the end of the conversation, she, like most
(01:16):
considerate and courteous people, made a comment about how she
was talking all about herself the whole time, and she
kind of felt bad, and she's like, I don't even know,
you know, I didn't even have a chance to hear
what's happening with you. My response was that having her
tell all the details of how things have been good,
have been in a good place for her helps me.
Helps me too. I get to share with her and
(01:39):
celebrate with her all the great things that are happening
in her life, and it reminds me that it's okay
to actually find joy in the small things and being
allowed to share in that joy with someone as a privilege.
So of course we have to remind others you listener
as well. And it's not just me telling you this,
(02:02):
but we have to give you the proof, right, We're
here to give you some proof. And here's something from
rmc dot Rochester EEDU by J. McLaren Kelly, PhD. So,
doctor Kelly, if you will, they wrote, when someone shares
good news with you, they typically seek your joining with
them in celebrating the event, extending the positive feelings derived
(02:26):
from the event itself. This process is known as capitalization.
In a series of studies Gable, Reese and Impact and
Asher So that was set in two thousand and four
found that capitalization was associated with greater positive emotion and
life satisfaction on the day when positive news was shared.
This result remained significant even after accounting for other events
(02:49):
that day and the positive emotions derived from the event itself.
Sharing positive news with others support your well being beyond
the experience of the positive event itself, so it is scientific.
On top of all of this, there is a deeper
conversation about how people react passive affirmation, I think, and
(03:09):
then like all these others, there's four So you could
have a negative reaction essentially in a positive reaction, and
it does says a lot about you and the type
of friendship you may have as to how you respond.
So if there's a negative response, that might not be
a great friendship.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
That's a whole different conversation.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
We're not gonna, we're not gonna, We're not gonna to
hone in on the negative part. We're sticking with the positives.
Any kind of like how I get to share your
love for the last of us watching it together, eating
foods in relation because you get so excited and I
get daily texts about I think this next episode is
gonna be above this.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Oh my god. The names of these episodes are this.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Yeah, I love I might not respond always because I
don't know what to say to that, because I'm like cool, cool, cool,
but I love it.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
It does bring me joy as well.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Now that I've got a fancy car that plays aloud
or reads a louder text, it's even better when I'm
on the road hearing these texts which respond text obviously
I have to hear them. And a bit more information
from Greater Good dot Berkeley dot du quote. They found
that those people who shared positive events with others felt
(04:23):
more grateful in the moment and closer to the person
with whom they shared the news. In addition, people with
a tendency to share good news and receive enthusiastic responses
were the most grateful in the group overall. So, for yeah,
if you are one of those people who have good news,
and I hope you have someone who receives them, because
it works for you too.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
It helps for you too.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Any Do you feel that way or do you feel
like I just judge you.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
No, I think I think you're fantastic. I think the
judgment might be earned in the cases I get it.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
It's just it's just playful jabbing.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
It's nice when you have somebody that's like, it's nice
on both sides, if you are good friends with each
other or whatever your relationship may be. It's nice when
someone tells you something good and you're like, oh, yes,
And then it's nice on the other end to have
somebody tell you hey, that is yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Both of those things, so for all of us.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
And I think it's something that women often do, like
the gossiping or like getting the good tea and all
of that, and if it's good news, it's even better.
And just receiving that and then not being negative. So
if you if your tendency to be negative, to be like, oh,
I hope it doesn't good, all bad, blah blah blah,
try to try to dial it back because it helps
you too, to be able to celebrate with people and
(05:39):
they continue. Study co author Alexander Gray of Northeastern University
says these findings suggest sharing good news is a way
to enhance gratitude and reap the rewards of that. When
you share positive events with other people, you experience gratitude,
says Gray. We know gratitude has its own benefits, like
increase well being or increase relationship quality with the person
(06:00):
when you're interacting with strengthening your social bond with them.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, and we've seen this.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
We've seen like when you have some commonality, let's say
you compliment each other's dress or whatever, whatnot, and or oh,
I have something like that. You know, when you have
that commonality and you get to joyfully come together with it,
it brings a closer bond. It brings a fast friendship sometimes,
and you never knew how great that friendship was. Caroline Old,
co host of the show. We did this. We had
(06:25):
commonality with knowing certain people and then understanding that we
actually agreed on several issues, and we became became friends
really quickly, to the point that other people were jealous
of our friendship.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Eat it. We're still friends.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
So here's some more information from psychology dot com. Quote
your good news is no longer yours, It's no longer theirs.
This kind of collective intimacy makes it possible for us
to know that the breadth of what we are experiencing,
the good and bad, is not just a reporting of
what is happening, but a reminder that though others may
not be physically with us, they are always co authors,
(07:12):
shaping what we see and notice and appreciate in ways
that can sustain us during the most difficult parts of
our experiences. And all our articles talk about this type
of bond can really become something real, a true friendship.
And from ink dot com, Jeff Hayden writes people are
wired to share good news with those we care about,
(07:32):
if only because the act fosters deeper connections, and he
continues with the benefits of sharing good news. According to
the study, capitalizing on good fortune yields important interpersonal and
interpersonal benefits. Telling others about positive events creates higher positive
effect and greater life satisfaction. Plus, the more people you tell,
the greater the benefits. Active and constructive responses from others
(07:57):
as opposed to passive or destructive responses, yields increased benefits
that go beyond the effects of sharing the news itself.
In other words, the act of sharing is fun, but
getting a great response makes it even more fun and finally,
telling others about positive events make those events more memorable,
if only because retelling an event gives you the opportunity
(08:18):
to rehearse what you want to say quote I can't
wait to tell Mary about this and then say what
you want to say and add it all up and
sharing good news makes you happier both now and in
the future when you remember the positive event itself and
how the people you care about responded to the news.
I think it's important that we are able to face
(08:39):
the daily battles, especially today, and we can't do that
if we are bombarded with dread of or feeling so
down that we are paralyzed. So we have to take
the time to celebrate the good things. It works all obviously,
this conversation that we're having, obviously the studies that I've
been had is important. And it's not just a religious thing,
(09:00):
because I think gratitude comes in association with like religion,
a lot of the times, being grateful means that you
owe something instead of understanding it can build something. So
I want us to remember that. Make sure you're celebrating
your good news with those around you, and also that
you're receiving those good news because it's good that you
(09:22):
listen and celebrate with people like that is Actually that's
more fun for me when I get to like celebrate
with you.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I love it. This is one of the favorite things.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I love that Annie has all these loves because I
feel like I don't have enough, so I can basket
her love. Enjoy in these things that I might know
nothing about. Did I know anything about Star Wars before
I met her? No?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Very little. Do I know way too much? Probably?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Do I have a lot of Star Wars things that
I never knew I needed? Yes, yes, I do. People
think I love Star Wars because of you, and I'm
okay with that. So here's some more advice from Hayden
that I think is something important for us to hear.
(10:06):
When a friend or employee or colleague share good news,
dive in, be enthusiastic, be proud, be happy for them.
We should be easy because seeing a friend be happy
should make you feel happy.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
As for details, as.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
For long term implications, ask how and why and when,
give them a chance to bask in the moment. Not
only will that make them even happier, it will also
make whatever happened more memorable. I think that's such a
great advice again for both of the things, you know,
be willing to share, be willing to hear both of
those things, and it is important. It's not trivial. Like
(10:40):
when I was talking to my friend at Zoomba, she
really like she kind of was like trying to like hesitate.
I was like, no, tell me more, tell me all
of it. And it was beautiful. I think it's one
of the things that builds us up.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Like we are.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
We don't hang out outside of there, but hearing her
talk about those good news really did obviously left an impression.
It's a week, It's been a week since I've talked
to her, and I still think about this moment. We've
got a long road ahead, so do what you need
to focus on these battles, including resting when you need
to and celebrating what you can.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Yes, yes, absolutely, and listeners there if you're celebrating anything
we would love to hear from you, give me that. Yes,
you can email us at Hello at stuff onever told
you dot com. You can find us on Blue Sky
at momsa podcast or on Instagram and to talk at
stuff we never told you for us on YouTube. We
(11:35):
have a tea pupbook Store and we have a book
you can get wherever you get your book. Thanks as
always too our super producer Christina or executive prist My
and conturbor Joey.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Thank you and thanks to you for listening stuff never
told you.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Instruction of My Heart Radio.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
For more podcasts from My Heart
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Radio, you can check out the heart Radio app Apple Podcasts,
or if you listen to your favorite shows
Hey, this Sanny and Samantha and stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I never told your prediction of by Heart Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
And welcome to another Monday Minni, and this time since
my last one, and I think your last Mendy Mini
were a little bit like dreadful and probably some of
these episodes, a lot of these episodes are dread dreaded
news or things of things that are happening.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
We're gonna do good stuff. So I've mentioned it.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Previously, but I was so excited to see a ten
bit of good news from a friend of the show
and listener.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Susie Hi.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
I know you listens. Good to know you're still listening,
but you know, and she actually elaborated on it. I
was like, oh, I love it. In that episode. I
wanted to add some good things that were happening with me.
I was traveling and things turned out okay and things
are good.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And I had.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Another wonderful conversation with a Zumba friend the other day
who was talking about all this new good things that
have been happening in her life, and I, as I
typically do, ask more and more questions about it because
that's what I do, That's what I'm known for. I
need to know give me the detail, let's talk about this.
And towards the end of the conversation, she, like most
(01:16):
considerate and courteous people, made a comment about how she
was talking all about herself the whole time, and she
kind of felt bad, and she's like, I don't even know,
you know, I didn't even have a chance to hear
what's happening with you. My response was that having her
tell all the details of how things have been good,
have been in a good place for her helps me.
Helps me too. I get to share with her and
(01:39):
celebrate with her all the great things that are happening
in her life, and it reminds me that it's okay
to actually find joy in the small things and being
allowed to share in that joy with someone as a privilege.
So of course we have to remind others you listener
as well. And it's not just me telling you this,
(02:02):
but we have to give you the proof, right, We're
here to give you some proof. And here's something from
rmc dot Rochester EEDU by J. McLaren Kelly, PhD. So,
doctor Kelly, if you will, they wrote, when someone shares
good news with you, they typically seek your joining with
them in celebrating the event, extending the positive feelings derived
(02:26):
from the event itself. This process is known as capitalization.
In a series of studies Gable, Reese and Impact and
Asher So that was set in two thousand and four
found that capitalization was associated with greater positive emotion and
life satisfaction on the day when positive news was shared.
This result remained significant even after accounting for other events
(02:49):
that day and the positive emotions derived from the event itself.
Sharing positive news with others support your well being beyond
the experience of the positive event itself, so it is scientific.
On top of all of this, there is a deeper
conversation about how people react passive affirmation, I think, and
(03:09):
then like all these others, there's four So you could
have a negative reaction essentially in a positive reaction, and
it does says a lot about you and the type
of friendship you may have as to how you respond.
So if there's a negative response, that might not be
a great friendship.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
That's a whole different conversation.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
We're not gonna, we're not gonna, We're not gonna to
hone in on the negative part. We're sticking with the positives.
Any kind of like how I get to share your
love for the last of us watching it together, eating
foods in relation because you get so excited and I
get daily texts about I think this next episode is
gonna be above this.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Oh my god. The names of these episodes are this.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Yeah, I love I might not respond always because I
don't know what to say to that, because I'm like cool, cool, cool,
but I love it.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
It does bring me joy as well.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Now that I've got a fancy car that plays aloud
or reads a louder text, it's even better when I'm
on the road hearing these texts which respond text obviously
I have to hear them. And a bit more information
from Greater Good dot Berkeley dot du quote. They found
that those people who shared positive events with others felt
(04:23):
more grateful in the moment and closer to the person
with whom they shared the news. In addition, people with
a tendency to share good news and receive enthusiastic responses
were the most grateful in the group overall. So, for yeah,
if you are one of those people who have good news,
and I hope you have someone who receives them, because
it works for you too.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
It helps for you too.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Any Do you feel that way or do you feel
like I just judge you.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
No, I think I think you're fantastic. I think the
judgment might be earned in the cases I get it.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
It's just it's just playful jabbing.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
It's nice when you have somebody that's like, it's nice
on both sides, if you are good friends with each
other or whatever your relationship may be. It's nice when
someone tells you something good and you're like, oh, yes,
And then it's nice on the other end to have
somebody tell you hey, that is yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Both of those things, so for all of us.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
And I think it's something that women often do, like
the gossiping or like getting the good tea and all
of that, and if it's good news, it's even better.
And just receiving that and then not being negative. So
if you if your tendency to be negative, to be like, oh,
I hope it doesn't good, all bad, blah blah blah,
try to try to dial it back because it helps
you too, to be able to celebrate with people and
(05:39):
they continue. Study co author Alexander Gray of Northeastern University
says these findings suggest sharing good news is a way
to enhance gratitude and reap the rewards of that. When
you share positive events with other people, you experience gratitude,
says Gray. We know gratitude has its own benefits, like
increase well being or increase relationship quality with the person
(06:00):
when you're interacting with strengthening your social bond with them.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, and we've seen this.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
We've seen like when you have some commonality, let's say
you compliment each other's dress or whatever, whatnot, and or oh,
I have something like that. You know, when you have
that commonality and you get to joyfully come together with it,
it brings a closer bond. It brings a fast friendship sometimes,
and you never knew how great that friendship was. Caroline Old,
co host of the show. We did this. We had
(06:25):
commonality with knowing certain people and then understanding that we
actually agreed on several issues, and we became became friends
really quickly, to the point that other people were jealous
of our friendship.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Eat it. We're still friends.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
So here's some more information from psychology dot com. Quote
your good news is no longer yours, It's no longer theirs.
This kind of collective intimacy makes it possible for us
to know that the breadth of what we are experiencing,
the good and bad, is not just a reporting of
what is happening, but a reminder that though others may
not be physically with us, they are always co authors,
(07:12):
shaping what we see and notice and appreciate in ways
that can sustain us during the most difficult parts of
our experiences. And all our articles talk about this type
of bond can really become something real, a true friendship.
And from ink dot com, Jeff Hayden writes people are
wired to share good news with those we care about,
(07:32):
if only because the act fosters deeper connections, and he
continues with the benefits of sharing good news. According to
the study, capitalizing on good fortune yields important interpersonal and
interpersonal benefits. Telling others about positive events creates higher positive
effect and greater life satisfaction. Plus, the more people you tell,
the greater the benefits. Active and constructive responses from others
(07:57):
as opposed to passive or destructive responses, yields increased benefits
that go beyond the effects of sharing the news itself.
In other words, the act of sharing is fun, but
getting a great response makes it even more fun and finally,
telling others about positive events make those events more memorable,
if only because retelling an event gives you the opportunity
(08:18):
to rehearse what you want to say quote I can't
wait to tell Mary about this and then say what
you want to say and add it all up and
sharing good news makes you happier both now and in
the future when you remember the positive event itself and
how the people you care about responded to the news.
I think it's important that we are able to face
(08:39):
the daily battles, especially today, and we can't do that
if we are bombarded with dread of or feeling so
down that we are paralyzed. So we have to take
the time to celebrate the good things. It works all obviously,
this conversation that we're having, obviously the studies that I've
been had is important. And it's not just a religious thing,
(09:00):
because I think gratitude comes in association with like religion,
a lot of the times, being grateful means that you
owe something instead of understanding it can build something. So
I want us to remember that. Make sure you're celebrating
your good news with those around you, and also that
you're receiving those good news because it's good that you
(09:22):
listen and celebrate with people like that is Actually that's
more fun for me when I get to like celebrate
with you.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I love it. This is one of the favorite things.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I love that Annie has all these loves because I
feel like I don't have enough, so I can basket
her love. Enjoy in these things that I might know
nothing about. Did I know anything about Star Wars before
I met her? No?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Very little. Do I know way too much? Probably?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Do I have a lot of Star Wars things that
I never knew I needed? Yes, yes, I do. People
think I love Star Wars because of you, and I'm
okay with that. So here's some more advice from Hayden
that I think is something important for us to hear.
(10:06):
When a friend or employee or colleague share good news,
dive in, be enthusiastic, be proud, be happy for them.
We should be easy because seeing a friend be happy
should make you feel happy.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
As for details, as.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
For long term implications, ask how and why and when,
give them a chance to bask in the moment. Not
only will that make them even happier, it will also
make whatever happened more memorable. I think that's such a
great advice again for both of the things, you know,
be willing to share, be willing to hear both of
those things, and it is important. It's not trivial. Like
(10:40):
when I was talking to my friend at Zoomba, she
really like she kind of was like trying to like hesitate.
I was like, no, tell me more, tell me all
of it. And it was beautiful. I think it's one
of the things that builds us up.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Like we are.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
We don't hang out outside of there, but hearing her
talk about those good news really did obviously left an impression.
It's a week, It's been a week since I've talked
to her, and I still think about this moment. We've
got a long road ahead, so do what you need
to focus on these battles, including resting when you need
to and celebrating what you can.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Yes, yes, absolutely, and listeners there if you're celebrating anything
we would love to hear from you, give me that. Yes,
you can email us at Hello at stuff onever told
you dot com. You can find us on Blue Sky
at momsa podcast or on Instagram and to talk at
stuff we never told you for us on YouTube. We
(11:35):
have a tea pupbook Store and we have a book
you can get wherever you get your book. Thanks as
always too our super producer Christina or executive prist My
and conturbor Joey.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Thank you and thanks to you for listening stuff never
told you.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Instruction of My Heart Radio.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
For more podcasts from My Heart
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Radio, you can check out the heart Radio app Apple Podcasts,
or if you listen to your favorite shows
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