October 2, 2019 • 42 mins
In this grabbag of an episode, Anney and Samantha do an update on some recent stories including new allegations against Brett Kavanaugh, #MeToo, trauma, board games, green army women, D&D and the mysterious more.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stuff.
I've never told your production off I Heart Radio's how
stuff works, all right, am I doing the introduction to
this episode. This is brand new for me. Let's see
(00:24):
what happened? What I already screwed it up, didn't I know?
So we thought we would do a quick pause with
all the juicy topics. We've been filling your ear holes
with your lovely ear holes, definitely because we like your
ear holes. Now I'm making it weird, and actually take
a glance back and do some updates and follow ups
from recent or past recent past episodes. So everything that
(00:45):
we've done, including our Trauma mini series and before we
started this episode, go ahead and put the trigger warning in.
We're briefly talking about sexual assault, adult topics, and suicide.
I want to say adult topics. Yeah, no, I don't
find and maybe on HBO late night, so tom late night.
We're not gonna go graphic, but you know, okay, just
throw that heads up, um, And it's been a crazy
(01:08):
few months. It has been. Yeah, it's this world. Change
is very quickly, very quickly, and updates are necessary, especially
as things are heating up. Yeah. Um, and we want
to make sure that we are all still caught up
in all in this together, yeah, and we're here with you.
And sometimes these we'll probably do these episodes every couple
(01:30):
of months because sometimes something breaks in the news that
we want to talk about and we've already kind of
talked about it, and it's not an entire episode, but
we do want to talk about it. And so one
of those big ones is the Brett Kevanagh. You don't
even want to say the name just because of all
of the sadness that happens when I think on it.
(01:52):
So a lot of you probably already know this, but
just to kind of level set a third allegation of
sexual misconduct against Brett have and all broke recently reported
on by The New York Times. The essay expanded on
Debora ramirez Is allegation, which was not seriously investigated by
the FBI, which was also later on told that that
(02:12):
actually was corrolborated. Yep. People, she gave a list of names,
twenty five people. They didn't interview any and some people
reached out to the FBI and they're like, no, we
did um and added the essay added a third allegation
but the woman in question says her friends say she
does not remember the event that is described, that witnesses
described this sexual miss conduct um, and that she wishes
(02:35):
not to be interviewed. And also the New York Times
original tweet quote, having a penis thust in your face
at a drunken dorm party may seem like harmless fun,
but when Brett Kavanaugh did to her, Debora Ramire says,
it confirmed that she didn't belong at Yell in the
first place. Yeah, that harmless fun bit. It caused a
huge uproar. They deleted the tweet and apologized. Um, but
(02:58):
of course people who say that all boys will be
boys pointed to that exactly kind of somehow put it
back on Debra's things. She didn't belong like that. What Yeah,
that's not how you need to phrase that. That she
felt like she wasn't welcomed. Yes, there you go, if
we fix it, not that it needs to be fixed anymore.
(03:19):
And once again we get to see the wonders of
blind excuses. Um. Haraldo Rivera tweeted how many men and
women deep in middle age are embarrassed by blank I
added that pay by ha ha. They did in high
school and college. And he's using this as an excuse
of a behavior of our current Supreme Court justice. Uh.
(03:41):
Two of our female Democratic candidates that we know are
calling for an impachement due to the evidence that the
FBI did not do in completing the investigation of the
accusation president at the original confirmation. And we also know
that is trending as we still believe her. Yeah, and
I was looking into this, and um, I mean he
(04:04):
only had approval reading when he was confirmed, even before.
I mean, even if it just shows a pattern, a
disturbing pattern of behavior, and I don't I don't appreciate
the excuse like college, right, this is the And again
I think I've talked about this before that I've heard
that many times about they made a mistake and you
(04:25):
want to talk about what this isn't for me? And
this goes for overall anybody who is in a position
of power learning to take responsibility. That is really really
something that is missing. And I don't understand how even
on the Democratic side, they can't accept responsibility. They did.
They may have said something, they may had um put
in some type of legislation that they later came back.
(04:46):
I was like, oh, that wasn't great, Um, just take
responsibility for it and say, yes, this may have been
something that I had voted for. However, and going back
and looking at how this had created a new injustice
or whatever you even says, I didn't realize that we
had this type of fallout, simple, and I think I
would trust someone way more in no hearing that than
(05:09):
just well and then bypassing it with an excuse of
how they're not wrong, and I think it's just a
bothersome thing, which is again, the Kavanaugh bit is way
beyond that. But the fact that he just can't even
take responsibility and flat out is denying lying about things,
that's what's even worse, especially when we put them as
a freaking standard of truth and justice. And then with
(05:34):
that also Jeffrey Epstein, we kind of bypassed him. And
I don't want to bring too much into it because
you know, he's dead and there's a lot of conspiracy theories.
But we're gonna let the conspiracy wars handle that one.
But I think a lot of the question that I
was really angry about is the way they were phrasing,
uh still using the terms child, prostitute or sex with
underage girls in which you want to be like, this
(05:57):
is called rape, this is called traffic king. And I'm
getting so angry, like why why are you still phrasing
it like this? A fourteen year old cannot consent and
this is obviously a traffic ring. So can we go
ahead and clarify that language. Let's go ahead and put
that away that doesn't exist. That's really important. It's a
(06:18):
really important clarification, right, And as we see more and
more like are we gonna know? Are we going to
know the perpetrators? We've got a few names here and there,
but the level of depth, and I think, um, these
victims deserve justice and just because they have money doesn't
mean that they are above the law. But hey, you
know that's just my thoughts and process, whatever your thoughts.
(06:43):
I think money does put no obviously, I agree, um um,
Unfortunately our system is kind of set up. But yeah,
and I think that's one of the biggest things we
had previously talked about. And um, I know previous episodes
about sex workers, and hopefully you and I will revisit
some of those, um conversations. Um, this is kind of
(07:06):
those things like this is this is not sex work?
This is abuse. So we need to clarify what this
is because there are adult females who are in that
world and I do it freely and can make money
and go ahead, Yeah, be safe. It makes you no consent,
go for it. Yeah, Consent is key. Consent is super key,
and if you are not a adult, you can't consent.
(07:29):
We should write a song I will I want to
have it with accordion, though for some reason no one will. Well.
I was about the bad talk to the accordion, but
I like the according. I think it's more you playing
the accordion, no fense. Can you play the No, I
don't want to play. I want someone else. I would
(07:50):
I would never make I would never make anyone listen
to me. You probably an accordion alright, But with those
levels again, we're still talking about hashtag B two and
we're going to talk about Chanel Miller because it's fantastic. UM.
I hate that. That's the reason we know her is
not necessarily because of her um accomplishments and to be accomplishments,
(08:11):
but is because she has finally revealed her name, coming
out in support of women who have been victims and
our survivors and coming out in um Powerhouse with her
book a memoir, No My Name, fantastic title. That title
is absolutely amazing, UM, And I know there's a lot
of buzz and and she's putting up several quotes about
(08:32):
being there and seeing girls and being there for them,
and I think it's fantastic, And I hate then we're
having to talk about this is again not about her,
but this even exists, and why what she went through
and in the statements that she wrote out for the
court hearing, why it's still relevant and will be relevant,
will continue to be relevant until we truly believe and
(08:52):
put into justice system of way of holding white privileged
mills accountable. And for people who don't know this is
the Rock Turner case we're talking about, correct And UM,
I think on top of that, I'm like, make your money, honey.
I mean, if you can make money off something this horrendous,
(09:14):
take power, do it, do it, own it, take it
and use it. Um. Which also comes back to the
whole continuing to fight to be believed, which is so absurd.
And I know we're honest. Maybe it's a pessimistic view,
but I don't know if we'll ever get to that
point just trying to talk about it and trying to
(09:36):
look through all of these things. Um, when I'm reading articles,
it's so infuriating to see that small percentage we talked
about that as actual false accusations. They're using two or
three of those examples as see, this is what's happening.
They're ruining people's lives, and you're like, dude, or actually,
in the case that I was reading it was a
female writer, I was like, why why are you so
(09:58):
helping and saying this doesn't exist. I've had to, uh,
sit down. I've had two male friends when I've like
said statistics, say well this person in my life was
a female and she was faking, and I've had to
sit them down and be like, okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
(10:19):
it's not the same. And that is something that has
come out for me through therapy. When I finally kind
of did the walkthrough of like this most traumatic event,
I thought our therapist wouldn't believe me. That's how like
ingrained it is. When I told her, I had an
immediate feel like she's she's not going to believe me,
and of course she she did, but to me, that
(10:42):
was so revelatory that I'm having this private, confidential conversation
with someone who's never going to go to my face
unless I'm like clearly a pathological wires. And I thought,
you're being treated for and I thought she's not going
to believe me. This was the first time I've never
like told anybody the whole thing, and that was my
(11:03):
first like knee jerk kind of Oh God, what have
I done? Um? And we did want to touch on
that a little bit, right, we did, because we did
an episode each of us of the therapy sessions. And
I will say I have paused because the monetary issues.
I don't mean to laugh at you, but monetary issues
is a funny phrase. I was not expected. Um, but
(11:27):
I am getting prepared to go back obviously. But we
didn't hit in a lot of things. Um. She recommended
white fragility for me, which is fantastic and I have
started reading into that and yes, yes, yes, just yes. Um.
She did give me a lot of homework and there
was a lot of writing, uh, And I think it
was fantastic. It was really important because you know, you
(11:47):
and I were talking about the fact that it was
really important to me to have a woman of color
being our therapist because for the longest time I only
had white women and white women. You you guys are fantastic.
We love you. Please know there's nothing wrong here. I
love you Anny, You're amazing. But as a person of color,
it felt really, really hard trying to talk about the
issues of my you know, identity, especially when I've been
(12:10):
ingrained in southern white culture and trying to figure everything out.
So um, and she is. She was obviously fantastic and
making sure that I've been met where I needed to be,
and she is, She's a great parson. It sounds like you. Yes. Um.
So I've run into a few setbacks because we were
(12:32):
like working on this trauma and I also had, you know,
homework and all these exercises to do, and then my
dad died, and then my brother everdosed. Um the day
we're recording this would have been my dad's birthday, right.
So tonight Samantha is coming with me. Yes, We're going
to a local restaurant called Nicolai's Roof. I've never been.
I've never been either, but um, the vodka sampler. I've
(12:56):
got to get it because that's the last thing my
dad and I talked about and if you're wondering why,
because he was not a big drinker. He did not drink.
But um, I had just run the pre road race
the last time I saw him, like not just but
I was wearing the shirt and he was talking about
all the times he ran it, and um, he was
talking about like one of the times he ran it. Um.
(13:16):
My mom's family who's a little rich with some of
them more. They took him to Nicolai's roof and he
wanted to try They do like infuse vodkas. They're they
get a bunch of different ones, and he wanted to
try everyone. And as a non drinker who just ran
a race, he ended up hiding under the table. Apparently,
(13:37):
Oh that's my thing. That was gonna happen tonight. Maybe
daring the vodka thing. I am, but you don't have to.
I was gonna be all in. Oh yeah, I was
all under the table, a little bit banned from Nicolay's room.
It'll be great. I'll just be asleep. That was not
a thing. Um. And it's funny because I had this
(13:59):
thought of I've done the same thing. When one of
my friends turned one. She had like all those test
tubes and different colors, and I wanted to taste the
rain post so I got all of them and took
them at once year old thing today. And I also
while I wasn't hiding on the table, but I was
like past teple, drink responsibly everybody. UM. So it kind
(14:20):
of it feels like I was just getting into my
trauma therapy and then all of these things started happening
and they start piling up, and it's just kind of
pushed back. UM. And I have dealt with. Like I
said in the Dutiful Daughter episode, the main thing people
told me after my dad died was he would be
proud of you. And I keep thinking he didn't know me,
and if he did, he wouldn't And I know that's nonsense,
(14:42):
but that's something I've been struggling with. UM. And that's
the shame factor that we've talked about so much. UM.
That's how powerful it is. And I did have a
flashback a couple of weeks ago, but thanks to this show,
I was able to get out of it pretty quickly.
I'd likely say all the time in that series, healing
is not a streetline, right. They are good days in
(15:02):
bed exactly, and it's it's never necessarily fixed, no, which
I was gonna say. I've noticed since I was I've
been more open about my past trauma. So many people
have come up to me and shared their past trauma
with me, and I'm really glad that they do, and
I'm really glad that they trust me. I don't want
it to stop, but it's so it makes me so
angry because it's so many people. I know it is
(15:26):
and you want to fix it, you want to help
plan when you talked about it, you can't like you
can listen. And that's just got to be there. I
gotta be there. And I trying to give, like here
some resources if you're interested, but which is fantastic and
just giving love, love, giving love. Yeah, that's what it's
all about, right, And I did I did want to
mention too, because a lot of people have mentioned this
(15:48):
to me. I don't know if you've heard about this,
but there's a show called Unbelievable on Netflix. I saw
the previews on it and it looked really intense and
I was trying to figure out what the case was
with the uh it's actually by Stan or not you
story an article written in by Pro Public and the
Martiall Project called Unbelievable Story of Rape. So it was
(16:08):
from in which a girl named Murray filled charges and
then she was charged with following a false report. So
a lot of people have recommended it to me. Um,
and apparently it's obviously deals with a lot of what
we talked about our Trauma mini series, and UM, a
lot of the reaction I've seen from it is that
(16:30):
female detectives should always be involved in these cases. Um.
But yeah, it's it's in my queue. It's one of
those things like everybody for a while was recommending m
May's sailed to me and I did eventually watch it,
and I did. I did like it. But it's like
a thing where you, oh, I can't. You have to
that's the thing. I have to like work up to it, right.
(16:50):
So my friend he's just like, UM, I need you
to get to the point that you can actually watch
some types of sad move shows. He's like, because it's
the majority of the exist I'm like, yeah, He's like,
even if it's a remotely sad. I was like, yeah, no,
I just I just can't. Um. And that's fair, and
it's a lot of the fact that's also my trauma
as well as a continued work trauma that I'm like, right,
(17:13):
not ready. Yeah, I want to do a word search
and keep watching Top Chef. Yeah, this will definitely be
a day I have to work up to you. And
I'll say day because I usually do bench stuff like
this pretty quick. I'm like, I just want to get over.
It's Tony Collette. I know my love and I'm really
excited to see. But yeah, that's a lot of intense emotions,
up and down, up and down, up and downs. I'll
(17:35):
get to it. One. Maybe we should have a project,
a project I'm not project, but viewing data of that
together that brought to probably, or we could just hold
each other's hands while we watch it. We could hold
I'll hold okay, I'll hold Peaches. You hold your bumblebee, Rudy, Rudy,
I'm sorry. I'll let you choose because it goes by
(17:56):
both names, Ruby Duby. That's fine. And on top of that, oh, Samsung,
I don't know if you actually have you heard that
I read this, I believe In the last week at
a women's tech event, Samsung requested for the company Lioness
to remove their product, which was a vibrator um from
their display, even after they had been approved for their
(18:18):
event and had already been set up their display, so
they knew it was coming, or they seen they saw
us coming, and they knew it was coming, and they
knew what the company was um. And after a tweet
was sent to the Twitter verse, yeah that's what I'm
calling it. And after the majority of the event day
was over, the CEO of Samsung allowed the product to
be displayed again. But obviously this would be a too little,
too late situation, and a part of the highlighted highlight
(18:41):
for the event was in regards to women's health, which
had plenty of things regarding fertility treatment and pregnancy and
all of that, which is fantastic and well and it's necessary,
but was not about the other things. Obviously, we can't
talk about sexual health, good, good sex, UM, feeling nice,
getting the things you need he as a as a
female or whatever, um as a female in general. So
(19:04):
Sam Sude did give a statement to the Verge and
they see all the things. Of course, as they said,
we regret an interaction that occurred with the presenting startup
and apologize to the involved and we've addressed this internally
blah blah blah. We learned from this as we continue
to sponsor female connections. You would have thought at this
(19:24):
point in time, and especially if it's directed towards women,
it's not like it's everybody. Hey, it's just a tech thing. Yeah,
but just in the fact that, yes, women enjoy sexual pleasure,
and it's kind of one of those things like why
why are we still so ashamed for women to enjoy
sex or enjoy being pleasured? Why is this such a
(19:47):
taboo thing? Um? Yeah, And I know when we were
talking about Laura de Carlo, how there's so many like
items aimed towards male pleasure exactly are totally like on
the on the display for like everywhere, but female pleasure. Whoa,
(20:08):
what is this thing? Get out here? And would that
we also wanted to come back to supporting women. And
you know, I gave the example of Serena Williams. Yeah,
Serena Williams. Again. Another example in the tennis world showing
great sportsmanship was Naomi Osaka and Cocoa Golf and the
commandari and the love and the support was just beautiful.
(20:29):
And I just want to recognize that the hugging and
and the encouraging like you you're doing you did an
amazing job. You're you're doing great. It's just U the fields,
the fields. We have some more feels, but first we
have a quick break for a wordsmore sponsor and we're back.
(20:58):
Thank you sponsored. So I wanted to touch on an
episode we did before you came on Man with Lauren
my host at savor Um, called why Didn't You Believe Her?
And that whole episode was based on It was tied
into brit Kabanaugh, but it was kind of looking at
it through a horror movie limb. Of course, you know
I love horror movies. I already started my Halloween line up.
(21:22):
What did you already watch? It's over ten? Wow? Yeah,
last one, the last one I watched. Oh no, I
don't want to say that. That That was too embarrassing that
the one, no, no, no, I wanted the last one.
It was a new movie that I gave a chance
called Hatchet, and I'll say I liked the opening in
(21:46):
New Orleans the rest of it, so I will not
watch that one. I mean, I assumed they just like
the female character and that well, unbelievable is the m
v P of their group. So I appreciate that. No
shame on attic if anyone likes it, it's just yeah, um.
(22:10):
So the yeah, the whole thing is about how frequently
in horror movies and Supernatural now that you've watched it,
it's everywhere. Like the episode starts, it's a dude and
a lady and she's like, I don't like this. I
think I heard something. He's like, make God with me,
and then they both die. That's it was the best
impression and I loved it, Thank you. Um. And now
(22:31):
I can't see it. I see it everywhere in horror
and yeah, as I'm working through this, uh in my
Halloween lineup, which super producer Andrew asked me, how is
that different from any other time, which is a fair point.
And I just watched Killer clowns from Matter his face
for the first time and they even did it in
(22:52):
that she was very like, for like thirty minutes, the
female character was like, I think some things rock here.
Why is there a big tent in the middle of nowhere? Why?
Dead right? Maybe? And everyone's like shop, um every now.
Then you do have that girl that just like, oh,
I hear a noise, what is that? And then falls
(23:13):
into her death. It's true typically, and I feel like
I saw a movie where it was subverted recently where
the woman didn't believe the man, and I was like, oh, interesting,
But it's that's kind of the exception to the general rule. Um.
I've long wanted to do and I have not been
shy about saying this, where I wanted to once a
month to talk about a horror movie and look at
(23:36):
it through a feminist perspective. The first one is going
to be alien because I am ready to go. I
was ready, let's do this, and it's going to be
back in theaters in October. It's a certain anniversary you
need to go. Then yes, all right, But I did
want to touch on Midsummer briefly, and it's a spoiler
free so if you haven't seen it, I haven't seen it.
(23:56):
No spoilers, um, but it is one that I cannot wait,
Like whenever the Statute of Liventations is over, I am
in um am there gonna be years. Oh yeah, it's
like ten years, I think, so a decade later, you guys,
I oll be here. Mostly what I want to talk
about is and some of you probably saw this on Twitter.
(24:16):
There were a lot of tweets saying this is the
breakup movie of the year, like it's the best breakup
movie you've ever seen. Okay, so there is so much
gas lighting in this movie, so much, and every woman
I saw it with, and I've seen it three times
now with three different women after we left, we all
have the same reaction. Um. Yeah, I've been in that relationship.
(24:38):
I have been in that relationship. I've had that those
conversations before, I've had those fights before. And what really
blew my mind is at first I was confused as
to whether I should be on her side or his side.
And that's awful. That's awful. Um. And yes, let me
emphasize here that her boyfriend is the worst. He's horrible.
But that's how normalized gas lighting has been in my
(25:00):
general experience. But of course, like a little further in,
I was pretty confident, like, nah, he's a he's mad, um.
And it was weird to watch their terrible relationship play
out and see it for how terrible it is while
knowing you have been and me specifically, I've been in
that terrible relationship and I didn't see it for what
I was, what it was when I was in it.
(25:21):
I made excuses and justifications for being treated like trash.
It's weird. So you just pretty much watched your own
relationship on giant screen three times. Yeah, and a lot
of like every woman I went with was like, yep,
been there, been there. Um. Oh God, I want to
talk about more, but I won't. Um. I haven't seen
it yet. I'm telling you we should go and I
want to see it for sure. I think it's out
(25:43):
of theaters now. They did the director's cut last weekend. Anyway,
we'll we'll make up for it somehow. But in the meantime,
I want to touch on another thing, toys and games,
because we also didn't episode it on this and the
importance of having um a variety of gender neutral game
and toy options for children. Right, So, green Army Women,
(26:07):
thanks to a six year old girl from Little Rock, Arkansas,
we're now getting green Army women because we we all
know those like little Green Army Men, there are no women.
And this little girl noticed it. She noticed that there
weren't any women for her to choose from, and she
wrote three toy companies letters that read something like this quote,
some girls don't like pink, so please can you make
army girls that look like women. One of those companies
(26:31):
was BMC Toys, who is now planning on rolling out
four types of army women, including a captain. The owner
of BMC, Jeff Emil, had been contacted about creating green
army women a year or so earlier by a retired
Navy sailor um a woman, and he got his sister,
who was an artist by the name of Tina mL
to draw some prototypes. He told w N A P.
(26:53):
Whether it's a dinosaur or Davy Crockett or an army man,
maybe having a set of plastic army women will help
some kids somewhere be the hero of their own story
at playtime. And I think that's a good thing for everybody. Yes,
Green Army men have been around since nineteen thirties, by
the way, and made it into the National Toy Hall
of Fame. They are also my favorite characters from toy
(27:13):
story when you're running a Disney World race, because so
when you run a Disney World race at a mile,
there's characters like cheering you on, uh, and they're usually
right after you run up the super steep hill and
they're kind of yelling at you, which is I like it,
did they do the walk because they have that stand? Yes,
I think so. Usually at this point I'm hallucinating the finish.
(27:34):
It is towards the end um and then another thing
Miss Monopoly. Yea, yeah, this has been in the news
and you've probably heard it by now that Hasbro launched
a version of Monopoly called Miss Monopoly. Quote the first
game where women make more than men. Every time a
female player passes go, she receives two instead of the
standard two hundred dollars that male players receive. Women and
(27:57):
girls start with nineteen hundred dollars and men and boys
start with four dollars. Men are awarded for being a
good ally in the game, like watching a female let's
superhero movie, writing an article about women doing around stuff
and we're going to a rally. That's not the only
thing that makes this version different. Instead of real estate players,
invest inventions and innovations of women throughout history, gone to
(28:20):
is the classic mascot replaced by his niece. Seems to
be a consensus a woman in either case. Uh. This,
of course has burned a lot of our arguments about
whether this is empowering or insulting. Of course, angry dudes
who don't like women are furious. M Hasbro awarded three
young women grants of twenty thousand, five eighty dollars each
(28:44):
in non monopoly real money for their inventions in tech.
Yeah you know, I don't want the handing out Monopoly money.
I want that the in the video. There was a
video of these teenagers discussing their inventions and it received
a thirteen thousand discs and only sixty ish likes and
the comments have been disabled, which does not surprise me,
(29:06):
but it does make me very sad misogyny exists. But also,
did we need a gendered version of this game? Like
it kind of sucks that women make more in this
one version of Monopoly World but make less in the
real world. You would think that they would have some
kind of option instead of having one set pay. Maybe
you have a card and this is your job, didn't
life do that? Yeah? Your job? So that before you
(29:30):
making this amount of money, right, that's a that game.
I've got a lot of fights over that game, and
I'm like, but this is a fake life. I don't
know why you're mad at me that I won the lottery.
I got more mad about Monopoly, Like my dad pretend
like he burned it and taken away from us because
we got to so many fights about that. I've said before,
I've cheated and lost. I've never won a game of monopoly.
(29:52):
And also I'm not sure how I would react if
I was a kid playing this, and that's how I
learned about the gender wage gap. Yeah, I don't know.
The message could be too that womenita head start because
we can't just hack it like man. I can see
how you could interpret it that way. The interesting thing
about monopoly is that it was invented by a woman
named Elizabeth Madgie to demonstrate the evils of landlords and
(30:13):
people hoarding real estate. She filed for a patent for
the Landlord's Game and the nineteen hundreds, and then men
realized that they could make money off of this game
by the evils of like making too much money, um.
And then they took it and turned it into a
celebration of capitalism at its worst. And while her game
is accepted as the basis for Monopoly, she doesn't receive
(30:34):
any of the official credit. To this day, she made
five dollars um. This is on the Tales of Monopolies
Millennial version. Uh quote forget real estate. You can't afford
it anyway. And I know there's a lot of like
avocado toast in that game. Uh. And apparently there's a
(30:55):
monopoly for socialist, Monopoly for a socialist. I've got to
know more about that. How is how do you have
a monopoly if you're a socialist. I don't know. We'll
have to we'll have to play. Oh, you know a
new girl they talk about the said Thailand. He's like,
(31:17):
this is like a Thailand version of Monopoly, but everybody's
in jail and you've had over one property. Oh, dear girl.
Apparently there's a lot more to monopoly than well, you
can play the McDonald's version really win some money. I
used to have the computer version of the Star Wars one.
(31:38):
I used to have the phone like it was a
phone game kind of like Solitaire, and I could just
play Monopoly. And I cheated on that a lot too.
You can cheat, Yeah, you could just reset things. My goodness,
we're a bunch of cheaters here. It's only when it
comes to monopoly, which is kind of the point of monopoly. Yeah,
all right, um, I've wanted to throw in here. We're
(32:00):
first Vagina Museum opened in London. Um, can we ask
our bosses if we can go visit it? Absolutely we can. Well,
I think we'll get turned down, but why I wants
to go? Any listeners go check it out. It's new.
I've been to museums like this before and they're, in
my experience, a little weird, but this one could be
(32:20):
super cool. Um, So I'd love any listeners who go,
wonder if there's any George O'Keefe type of I hope
so things in there, I hope. So we gotta believe
it and then D and D update. I know everybody's
been waiting. I've been waiting for I am in the
midst of running my first campaign. I found it is
(32:41):
a lot of work, but it is a lot of fun.
I like having the power. So are you going to
have another limbless body to track around? Well, that's up
to them. Okay. Now I'm the one that just kind
of sets the rules and they try to break them
in any way that they can. No one ever does
what I think that they will do. Even when I
(33:01):
got in my way to think myself, well it's the
last thing I think they'll do. Nope, there's another thing
behind that thing. That they thought to do. Um Also
in this in theory, this campaign was supposed to be
a one shot, meaning it takes one session, but we're
barely getting into the main story with a whole bunch
of different storylines branching off that, and we're four sessions
(33:21):
and oh well, so I'll continue to keep you updated
as as things go off the rails. Yes, and another
very important update about updates is fan fiction too. Of
my favorite fan fictions updated and they hadn't updated in years,
well were they? That's a huge deal. One of them
was a Harry Potter one. Oh okay, they were both
(33:44):
Harry Potter fan fiction and they hadn't updated in like
five six years, five or six years, and they decide
I wonder what made them decide to do so, I
don't know. They wrote a big note like, hey, sorry
about this. I didn't abandon it, but I've been busy,
Like I mean, yes, they feel like you've all taking
this story, and I'm like, no, not me. I didn't
(34:05):
print it off. And in the bed with it, don't
tell everyone about my printing off of the story. And
I was just going to quickly mention Peaches, because you know,
that was what my stuff was and my update is
she's still a jerk but adorable. Um. Yeah, she just
rolls around like another and I love it. Yeah she
(34:26):
hugs me. She doesn't, but she I think she does.
I imagine because I make her put her paws like
around my neck a little bit. And I'm just holding
it over to day and I hear from her, so
you know, it's okay, I accept it. I accepted Social
work world. Things have been slowly changing because you know,
(34:46):
as governments transition or new administration happens, things change. So
it's been changes. That's all I got. Oh. I was
trying to think of something encouraging to say, but you know,
you know he's still you know, I did. I will
(35:08):
say that just personally. We did have I have to
review some of our kids that get treatment, actually all
of my kids that get treatment, and we had a
really great one and I have a lot of hope
for this kid. So that's always nice to see. Yeah,
so we'll give you that out there. Yeah, we have
some more things that are nice to hear. But first
(35:28):
we have one more quick break for word from our sponsor,
and we're back, Thank you sponsor, and we're back with
something we've been meaning to bring back for a while. Yes,
(35:52):
we love getting it um. Mary Anne wrote, my name
is Marianne and I'm a new listener to the podcast.
I am really enjoying all the episodes. Cue. I just
listened to your Spiny Pulls an all nighter episode and
I had a few things to say about it. I
suffer from polycystic ovary syndrome PICOS and I'm learning so
many things about it and recently discovered the role sleep
plays and the regulation of our hormones as you stay
(36:14):
in the episode, I wanted to share some of the
things that have helped me get such better sleep. One
of the ways that can help reset circadian rhythm is
light therapy, specifically spending time outside during the day and
night to help your body realize when it's time to
start winding down to go to sleep. Spending time outside
in the early morning, midday, and evening can greatly help
(36:34):
regulate your body into realizing when it's time to go
to bed. As little as thirty minutes can greatly improve
one's quality of sleep. I have switched over to using
a dawn simul. I don't know what that is. What
I'm interested, Oh, I guess I can totally explained to you. Yeah,
so it's it's just this light that literally glows open
as if it's a sunrise. They yeah, the okay, so
(36:54):
she switched over to that dawn simulating alarm clock. Thanks
for the explanation, which is lately helped me get up
in the mornings. Additionally, my doctor recommended melitonin to me,
but stresses that larger dosages over an extended period of
time can have a negative impact on the body's natural
protection of melitonin. As a result, she recommends point five
milligrams a couple of hours before bedtime to let your
body know, hey, you should be winding down to go
(37:16):
to bed, and then larger doses for the times when
you wake up in the middle of the night or
when you travel. Just these three things that helped me immensely,
and I no longer wake up fatigued, and I felt
compelled to share with you well, thank you so much,
and we we did get a lot of tips about
how to how to sleep better, very much appreciated. Keep
them coming because I did not sleep last night. I
didn't either, Lindsay wrote, I love Sminty, thank you, and
(37:40):
I just listened to your episode on the opioid crisis.
I'm a youth outreach worker at a community health center
in London, Ontario, Canada. The crisis has hit our community hard,
and so of course this episode resonates with me and
the work I do as an outreach worker. I just
want to let you know about some stuff that our
community is doing that is pretty cool. Has been a
fight to get there, but we are trying to be
leaders in our country. We opened a supervised consumption site
(38:02):
and have really stepped up our clean equipment distribution. But
you really need to check out the work of Dr
Andrea Serrata and the work that she is doing with
prescribing opioids to her patients and her Safer Supply program.
It's one of the very few programs that is prescribing
take home pills like this, and you can find her
on Twitter. Her handle is Andrea Serrata s E R
E d A. Also awesome. Yeah, totally check that out.
(38:25):
And so I'm also some of the social media comments,
you know, because I'm so good at that social media.
Um listener sagal and I'm really sorry if I I
mispronounced that, and it's at I'm just gonna spell this out.
S as h A r h A R One shared
this after was in a name episode. Hi, just a
comment about Vladiman Puttin's name from the Names episode. Russians
(38:48):
have a patronymic name and you can notice this custom
in Russian literature. So Putin's father was in fact also Vladimir.
Vladimir Vladimir Ovik is Vladimir, son of Vladimir. I just
wanted to but that's what I can. Try not to
fumble over that, and I did ten times, so, which
was fantastic. I was like, that's super interesting and a
lot of Vladimir's in that center is so all Harry's
(39:09):
podcast let us know in Brazil, we're trying to fix
this gap. After we were talking about bridging the gap,
the gender gap podcasting um. When trying to fix this
gap at our Craft created the hashtag Harry's podcasters or podcasters.
They created hashtag and to involve and support the women's
those are that are producers and hosts. We created a
(39:31):
community share and encourage these hosts to talk about anything
they want, and so they talked about they continue to
let us know how to invite more women to talk
about the issues and to tell their stories. So I
thought that was super amazing. Um, and I loved what
they were saying about how they were trying to get
this done with the hashtag and creating more awareness for
women in podcasting of the course in Brazil, I'm like,
(39:52):
can I come hang out with you? Um. We also
had our listener Casey Face. Yeah, I said I liked
her handle, which is at spot pants s P O
C K P A n T. S Um asked us
about our hog worts houses. That was a question question,
a very important question. And I am even called that
(40:13):
as supposed to the US is are they Yes, it's
Raven called by a lot Hufflepuff, Griffin Door, Slytherin. Yeah,
and you are supposedly I am definitely Griffin Door because
I'm saying you and I had this conversation. There are
some guys a confidential conversation, but Casey Face is actually Hufflepuff,
(40:38):
So now we just need our Slytherin. So I just
wanted to throw that there because I thought that was fun.
We love talking about Harry Potter on here so as well,
right all the time. Yeah, I have a friend who
so the patronis test Um, I got swift on my
first time and I liked it, so I never took
it again. And plus to take it again, you have
to like register a new email address. But all my
(40:58):
other friends didn't like the one that at the first time,
so they registered a second email address and took it again,
and they all got like Swan and horse and wolf,
except for one. She got mole and she tried to
hide it from us that I'm telling everybody on this podcast.
I won't say your name, but I'm telling your story.
And she tried to hide it from us. But then
(41:20):
like she took a picture of it and we were
looking at we were taking pictures with her phone. Oh no,
they can be cute. Wait, producer, Andrew, are you in
the house of something another Griffin door whatever. Hey, they
(41:42):
all have their own qualities. It's a very political way.
You just say it. And if you want to write
in about your Hogwarts house, super happy to hear it, obviously.
Um you can write to us our email addresses Steph
Media mom Stuff at iHeart media dot com. You can
find us on Twitter, mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram
at Stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks as always to
(42:04):
our super producer Andrew Howard. Thanks Andrew, and thanks to
you for listening stuff I've never told your protection of
iHeart Radios how stuff works. For more podcasts from My
Heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast A,
wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stuff.
I've never told your production off I Heart Radio's how
stuff works, all right, am I doing the introduction to
this episode. This is brand new for me. Let's see
(00:24):
what happened? What I already screwed it up, didn't I know?
So we thought we would do a quick pause with
all the juicy topics. We've been filling your ear holes
with your lovely ear holes, definitely because we like your
ear holes. Now I'm making it weird, and actually take
a glance back and do some updates and follow ups
from recent or past recent past episodes. So everything that
(00:45):
we've done, including our Trauma mini series and before we
started this episode, go ahead and put the trigger warning in.
We're briefly talking about sexual assault, adult topics, and suicide.
I want to say adult topics. Yeah, no, I don't
find and maybe on HBO late night, so tom late night.
We're not gonna go graphic, but you know, okay, just
throw that heads up, um, And it's been a crazy
(01:08):
few months. It has been. Yeah, it's this world. Change
is very quickly, very quickly, and updates are necessary, especially
as things are heating up. Yeah. Um, and we want
to make sure that we are all still caught up
in all in this together, yeah, and we're here with you.
And sometimes these we'll probably do these episodes every couple
(01:30):
of months because sometimes something breaks in the news that
we want to talk about and we've already kind of
talked about it, and it's not an entire episode, but
we do want to talk about it. And so one
of those big ones is the Brett Kevanagh. You don't
even want to say the name just because of all
of the sadness that happens when I think on it.
(01:52):
So a lot of you probably already know this, but
just to kind of level set a third allegation of
sexual misconduct against Brett have and all broke recently reported
on by The New York Times. The essay expanded on
Debora ramirez Is allegation, which was not seriously investigated by
the FBI, which was also later on told that that
(02:12):
actually was corrolborated. Yep. People, she gave a list of names,
twenty five people. They didn't interview any and some people
reached out to the FBI and they're like, no, we
did um and added the essay added a third allegation
but the woman in question says her friends say she
does not remember the event that is described, that witnesses
described this sexual miss conduct um, and that she wishes
(02:35):
not to be interviewed. And also the New York Times
original tweet quote, having a penis thust in your face
at a drunken dorm party may seem like harmless fun,
but when Brett Kavanaugh did to her, Debora Ramire says,
it confirmed that she didn't belong at Yell in the
first place. Yeah, that harmless fun bit. It caused a
huge uproar. They deleted the tweet and apologized. Um, but
(02:58):
of course people who say that all boys will be
boys pointed to that exactly kind of somehow put it
back on Debra's things. She didn't belong like that. What Yeah,
that's not how you need to phrase that. That she
felt like she wasn't welcomed. Yes, there you go, if
we fix it, not that it needs to be fixed anymore.
(03:19):
And once again we get to see the wonders of
blind excuses. Um. Haraldo Rivera tweeted how many men and
women deep in middle age are embarrassed by blank I
added that pay by ha ha. They did in high
school and college. And he's using this as an excuse
of a behavior of our current Supreme Court justice. Uh.
(03:41):
Two of our female Democratic candidates that we know are
calling for an impachement due to the evidence that the
FBI did not do in completing the investigation of the
accusation president at the original confirmation. And we also know
that is trending as we still believe her. Yeah, and
I was looking into this, and um, I mean he
(04:04):
only had approval reading when he was confirmed, even before.
I mean, even if it just shows a pattern, a
disturbing pattern of behavior, and I don't I don't appreciate
the excuse like college, right, this is the And again
I think I've talked about this before that I've heard
that many times about they made a mistake and you
(04:25):
want to talk about what this isn't for me? And
this goes for overall anybody who is in a position
of power learning to take responsibility. That is really really
something that is missing. And I don't understand how even
on the Democratic side, they can't accept responsibility. They did.
They may have said something, they may had um put
in some type of legislation that they later came back.
(04:46):
I was like, oh, that wasn't great, Um, just take
responsibility for it and say, yes, this may have been
something that I had voted for. However, and going back
and looking at how this had created a new injustice
or whatever you even says, I didn't realize that we
had this type of fallout, simple, and I think I
would trust someone way more in no hearing that than
(05:09):
just well and then bypassing it with an excuse of
how they're not wrong, and I think it's just a
bothersome thing, which is again, the Kavanaugh bit is way
beyond that. But the fact that he just can't even
take responsibility and flat out is denying lying about things,
that's what's even worse, especially when we put them as
a freaking standard of truth and justice. And then with
(05:34):
that also Jeffrey Epstein, we kind of bypassed him. And
I don't want to bring too much into it because
you know, he's dead and there's a lot of conspiracy theories.
But we're gonna let the conspiracy wars handle that one.
But I think a lot of the question that I
was really angry about is the way they were phrasing,
uh still using the terms child, prostitute or sex with
underage girls in which you want to be like, this
(05:57):
is called rape, this is called traffic king. And I'm
getting so angry, like why why are you still phrasing
it like this? A fourteen year old cannot consent and
this is obviously a traffic ring. So can we go
ahead and clarify that language. Let's go ahead and put
that away that doesn't exist. That's really important. It's a
(06:18):
really important clarification, right, And as we see more and
more like are we gonna know? Are we going to
know the perpetrators? We've got a few names here and there,
but the level of depth, and I think, um, these
victims deserve justice and just because they have money doesn't
mean that they are above the law. But hey, you
know that's just my thoughts and process, whatever your thoughts.
(06:43):
I think money does put no obviously, I agree, um um,
Unfortunately our system is kind of set up. But yeah,
and I think that's one of the biggest things we
had previously talked about. And um, I know previous episodes
about sex workers, and hopefully you and I will revisit
some of those, um conversations. Um, this is kind of
(07:06):
those things like this is this is not sex work?
This is abuse. So we need to clarify what this
is because there are adult females who are in that
world and I do it freely and can make money
and go ahead, Yeah, be safe. It makes you no consent,
go for it. Yeah, Consent is key. Consent is super key,
and if you are not a adult, you can't consent.
(07:29):
We should write a song I will I want to
have it with accordion, though for some reason no one will. Well.
I was about the bad talk to the accordion, but
I like the according. I think it's more you playing
the accordion, no fense. Can you play the No, I
don't want to play. I want someone else. I would
(07:50):
I would never make I would never make anyone listen
to me. You probably an accordion alright, But with those
levels again, we're still talking about hashtag B two and
we're going to talk about Chanel Miller because it's fantastic. UM.
I hate that. That's the reason we know her is
not necessarily because of her um accomplishments and to be accomplishments,
(08:11):
but is because she has finally revealed her name, coming
out in support of women who have been victims and
our survivors and coming out in um Powerhouse with her
book a memoir, No My Name, fantastic title. That title
is absolutely amazing, UM, And I know there's a lot
of buzz and and she's putting up several quotes about
(08:32):
being there and seeing girls and being there for them,
and I think it's fantastic, And I hate then we're
having to talk about this is again not about her,
but this even exists, and why what she went through
and in the statements that she wrote out for the
court hearing, why it's still relevant and will be relevant,
will continue to be relevant until we truly believe and
(08:52):
put into justice system of way of holding white privileged
mills accountable. And for people who don't know this is
the Rock Turner case we're talking about, correct And UM,
I think on top of that, I'm like, make your money, honey.
I mean, if you can make money off something this horrendous,
(09:14):
take power, do it, do it, own it, take it
and use it. Um. Which also comes back to the
whole continuing to fight to be believed, which is so absurd.
And I know we're honest. Maybe it's a pessimistic view,
but I don't know if we'll ever get to that
point just trying to talk about it and trying to
(09:36):
look through all of these things. Um, when I'm reading articles,
it's so infuriating to see that small percentage we talked
about that as actual false accusations. They're using two or
three of those examples as see, this is what's happening.
They're ruining people's lives, and you're like, dude, or actually,
in the case that I was reading it was a
female writer, I was like, why why are you so
(09:58):
helping and saying this doesn't exist. I've had to, uh,
sit down. I've had two male friends when I've like
said statistics, say well this person in my life was
a female and she was faking, and I've had to
sit them down and be like, okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
(10:19):
it's not the same. And that is something that has
come out for me through therapy. When I finally kind
of did the walkthrough of like this most traumatic event,
I thought our therapist wouldn't believe me. That's how like
ingrained it is. When I told her, I had an
immediate feel like she's she's not going to believe me,
and of course she she did, but to me, that
(10:42):
was so revelatory that I'm having this private, confidential conversation
with someone who's never going to go to my face
unless I'm like clearly a pathological wires. And I thought,
you're being treated for and I thought she's not going
to believe me. This was the first time I've never
like told anybody the whole thing, and that was my
(11:03):
first like knee jerk kind of Oh God, what have
I done? Um? And we did want to touch on
that a little bit, right, we did, because we did
an episode each of us of the therapy sessions. And
I will say I have paused because the monetary issues.
I don't mean to laugh at you, but monetary issues
is a funny phrase. I was not expected. Um, but
(11:27):
I am getting prepared to go back obviously. But we
didn't hit in a lot of things. Um. She recommended
white fragility for me, which is fantastic and I have
started reading into that and yes, yes, yes, just yes. Um.
She did give me a lot of homework and there
was a lot of writing, uh, And I think it
was fantastic. It was really important because you know, you
(11:47):
and I were talking about the fact that it was
really important to me to have a woman of color
being our therapist because for the longest time I only
had white women and white women. You you guys are fantastic.
We love you. Please know there's nothing wrong here. I
love you Anny, You're amazing. But as a person of color,
it felt really, really hard trying to talk about the
issues of my you know, identity, especially when I've been
(12:10):
ingrained in southern white culture and trying to figure everything out.
So um, and she is. She was obviously fantastic and
making sure that I've been met where I needed to be,
and she is, She's a great parson. It sounds like you. Yes. Um.
So I've run into a few setbacks because we were
(12:32):
like working on this trauma and I also had, you know,
homework and all these exercises to do, and then my
dad died, and then my brother everdosed. Um the day
we're recording this would have been my dad's birthday, right.
So tonight Samantha is coming with me. Yes, We're going
to a local restaurant called Nicolai's Roof. I've never been.
I've never been either, but um, the vodka sampler. I've
(12:56):
got to get it because that's the last thing my
dad and I talked about and if you're wondering why,
because he was not a big drinker. He did not drink.
But um, I had just run the pre road race
the last time I saw him, like not just but
I was wearing the shirt and he was talking about
all the times he ran it, and um, he was
talking about like one of the times he ran it. Um.
(13:16):
My mom's family who's a little rich with some of
them more. They took him to Nicolai's roof and he
wanted to try They do like infuse vodkas. They're they
get a bunch of different ones, and he wanted to
try everyone. And as a non drinker who just ran
a race, he ended up hiding under the table. Apparently,
(13:37):
Oh that's my thing. That was gonna happen tonight. Maybe
daring the vodka thing. I am, but you don't have to.
I was gonna be all in. Oh yeah, I was
all under the table, a little bit banned from Nicolay's room.
It'll be great. I'll just be asleep. That was not
a thing. Um. And it's funny because I had this
(13:59):
thought of I've done the same thing. When one of
my friends turned one. She had like all those test
tubes and different colors, and I wanted to taste the
rain post so I got all of them and took
them at once year old thing today. And I also
while I wasn't hiding on the table, but I was
like past teple, drink responsibly everybody. UM. So it kind
(14:20):
of it feels like I was just getting into my
trauma therapy and then all of these things started happening
and they start piling up, and it's just kind of
pushed back. UM. And I have dealt with. Like I
said in the Dutiful Daughter episode, the main thing people
told me after my dad died was he would be
proud of you. And I keep thinking he didn't know me,
and if he did, he wouldn't And I know that's nonsense,
(14:42):
but that's something I've been struggling with. UM. And that's
the shame factor that we've talked about so much. UM.
That's how powerful it is. And I did have a
flashback a couple of weeks ago, but thanks to this show,
I was able to get out of it pretty quickly.
I'd likely say all the time in that series, healing
is not a streetline, right. They are good days in
(15:02):
bed exactly, and it's it's never necessarily fixed, no, which
I was gonna say. I've noticed since I was I've
been more open about my past trauma. So many people
have come up to me and shared their past trauma
with me, and I'm really glad that they do, and
I'm really glad that they trust me. I don't want
it to stop, but it's so it makes me so
angry because it's so many people. I know it is
(15:26):
and you want to fix it, you want to help
plan when you talked about it, you can't like you
can listen. And that's just got to be there. I
gotta be there. And I trying to give, like here
some resources if you're interested, but which is fantastic and
just giving love, love, giving love. Yeah, that's what it's
all about, right, And I did I did want to
mention too, because a lot of people have mentioned this
(15:48):
to me. I don't know if you've heard about this,
but there's a show called Unbelievable on Netflix. I saw
the previews on it and it looked really intense and
I was trying to figure out what the case was
with the uh it's actually by Stan or not you
story an article written in by Pro Public and the
Martiall Project called Unbelievable Story of Rape. So it was
(16:08):
from in which a girl named Murray filled charges and
then she was charged with following a false report. So
a lot of people have recommended it to me. Um,
and apparently it's obviously deals with a lot of what
we talked about our Trauma mini series, and UM, a
lot of the reaction I've seen from it is that
(16:30):
female detectives should always be involved in these cases. Um.
But yeah, it's it's in my queue. It's one of
those things like everybody for a while was recommending m
May's sailed to me and I did eventually watch it,
and I did. I did like it. But it's like
a thing where you, oh, I can't. You have to
that's the thing. I have to like work up to it, right.
(16:50):
So my friend he's just like, UM, I need you
to get to the point that you can actually watch
some types of sad move shows. He's like, because it's
the majority of the exist I'm like, yeah, He's like,
even if it's a remotely sad. I was like, yeah, no,
I just I just can't. Um. And that's fair, and
it's a lot of the fact that's also my trauma
as well as a continued work trauma that I'm like, right,
(17:13):
not ready. Yeah, I want to do a word search
and keep watching Top Chef. Yeah, this will definitely be
a day I have to work up to you. And
I'll say day because I usually do bench stuff like
this pretty quick. I'm like, I just want to get over.
It's Tony Collette. I know my love and I'm really
excited to see. But yeah, that's a lot of intense emotions,
up and down, up and down, up and downs. I'll
(17:35):
get to it. One. Maybe we should have a project,
a project I'm not project, but viewing data of that
together that brought to probably, or we could just hold
each other's hands while we watch it. We could hold
I'll hold okay, I'll hold Peaches. You hold your bumblebee, Rudy, Rudy,
I'm sorry. I'll let you choose because it goes by
(17:56):
both names, Ruby Duby. That's fine. And on top of that, oh, Samsung,
I don't know if you actually have you heard that
I read this, I believe In the last week at
a women's tech event, Samsung requested for the company Lioness
to remove their product, which was a vibrator um from
their display, even after they had been approved for their
(18:18):
event and had already been set up their display, so
they knew it was coming, or they seen they saw
us coming, and they knew it was coming, and they
knew what the company was um. And after a tweet
was sent to the Twitter verse, yeah that's what I'm
calling it. And after the majority of the event day
was over, the CEO of Samsung allowed the product to
be displayed again. But obviously this would be a too little,
too late situation, and a part of the highlighted highlight
(18:41):
for the event was in regards to women's health, which
had plenty of things regarding fertility treatment and pregnancy and
all of that, which is fantastic and well and it's necessary,
but was not about the other things. Obviously, we can't
talk about sexual health, good, good sex, UM, feeling nice,
getting the things you need he as a as a
female or whatever, um as a female in general. So
(19:04):
Sam Sude did give a statement to the Verge and
they see all the things. Of course, as they said,
we regret an interaction that occurred with the presenting startup
and apologize to the involved and we've addressed this internally
blah blah blah. We learned from this as we continue
to sponsor female connections. You would have thought at this
(19:24):
point in time, and especially if it's directed towards women,
it's not like it's everybody. Hey, it's just a tech thing. Yeah,
but just in the fact that, yes, women enjoy sexual pleasure,
and it's kind of one of those things like why
why are we still so ashamed for women to enjoy
sex or enjoy being pleasured? Why is this such a
(19:47):
taboo thing? Um? Yeah, And I know when we were
talking about Laura de Carlo, how there's so many like
items aimed towards male pleasure exactly are totally like on
the on the display for like everywhere, but female pleasure. Whoa,
(20:08):
what is this thing? Get out here? And would that
we also wanted to come back to supporting women. And
you know, I gave the example of Serena Williams. Yeah,
Serena Williams. Again. Another example in the tennis world showing
great sportsmanship was Naomi Osaka and Cocoa Golf and the
commandari and the love and the support was just beautiful.
(20:29):
And I just want to recognize that the hugging and
and the encouraging like you you're doing you did an
amazing job. You're you're doing great. It's just U the fields,
the fields. We have some more feels, but first we
have a quick break for a wordsmore sponsor and we're back.
(20:58):
Thank you sponsored. So I wanted to touch on an
episode we did before you came on Man with Lauren
my host at savor Um, called why Didn't You Believe Her?
And that whole episode was based on It was tied
into brit Kabanaugh, but it was kind of looking at
it through a horror movie limb. Of course, you know
I love horror movies. I already started my Halloween line up.
(21:22):
What did you already watch? It's over ten? Wow? Yeah,
last one, the last one I watched. Oh no, I
don't want to say that. That That was too embarrassing that
the one, no, no, no, I wanted the last one.
It was a new movie that I gave a chance
called Hatchet, and I'll say I liked the opening in
(21:46):
New Orleans the rest of it, so I will not
watch that one. I mean, I assumed they just like
the female character and that well, unbelievable is the m
v P of their group. So I appreciate that. No
shame on attic if anyone likes it, it's just yeah, um.
(22:10):
So the yeah, the whole thing is about how frequently
in horror movies and Supernatural now that you've watched it,
it's everywhere. Like the episode starts, it's a dude and
a lady and she's like, I don't like this. I
think I heard something. He's like, make God with me,
and then they both die. That's it was the best
impression and I loved it, Thank you. Um. And now
(22:31):
I can't see it. I see it everywhere in horror
and yeah, as I'm working through this, uh in my
Halloween lineup, which super producer Andrew asked me, how is
that different from any other time, which is a fair point.
And I just watched Killer clowns from Matter his face
for the first time and they even did it in
(22:52):
that she was very like, for like thirty minutes, the
female character was like, I think some things rock here.
Why is there a big tent in the middle of nowhere? Why?
Dead right? Maybe? And everyone's like shop, um every now.
Then you do have that girl that just like, oh,
I hear a noise, what is that? And then falls
(23:13):
into her death. It's true typically, and I feel like
I saw a movie where it was subverted recently where
the woman didn't believe the man, and I was like, oh, interesting,
But it's that's kind of the exception to the general rule. Um.
I've long wanted to do and I have not been
shy about saying this, where I wanted to once a
month to talk about a horror movie and look at
(23:36):
it through a feminist perspective. The first one is going
to be alien because I am ready to go. I
was ready, let's do this, and it's going to be
back in theaters in October. It's a certain anniversary you
need to go. Then yes, all right, But I did
want to touch on Midsummer briefly, and it's a spoiler
free so if you haven't seen it, I haven't seen it.
(23:56):
No spoilers, um, but it is one that I cannot wait,
Like whenever the Statute of Liventations is over, I am
in um am there gonna be years. Oh yeah, it's
like ten years, I think, so a decade later, you guys,
I oll be here. Mostly what I want to talk
about is and some of you probably saw this on Twitter.
(24:16):
There were a lot of tweets saying this is the
breakup movie of the year, like it's the best breakup
movie you've ever seen. Okay, so there is so much
gas lighting in this movie, so much, and every woman
I saw it with, and I've seen it three times
now with three different women after we left, we all
have the same reaction. Um. Yeah, I've been in that relationship.
(24:38):
I have been in that relationship. I've had that those
conversations before, I've had those fights before. And what really
blew my mind is at first I was confused as
to whether I should be on her side or his side.
And that's awful. That's awful. Um. And yes, let me
emphasize here that her boyfriend is the worst. He's horrible.
But that's how normalized gas lighting has been in my
(25:00):
general experience. But of course, like a little further in,
I was pretty confident, like, nah, he's a he's mad, um.
And it was weird to watch their terrible relationship play
out and see it for how terrible it is while
knowing you have been and me specifically, I've been in
that terrible relationship and I didn't see it for what
I was, what it was when I was in it.
(25:21):
I made excuses and justifications for being treated like trash.
It's weird. So you just pretty much watched your own
relationship on giant screen three times. Yeah, and a lot
of like every woman I went with was like, yep,
been there, been there. Um. Oh God, I want to
talk about more, but I won't. Um. I haven't seen
it yet. I'm telling you we should go and I
want to see it for sure. I think it's out
(25:43):
of theaters now. They did the director's cut last weekend. Anyway,
we'll we'll make up for it somehow. But in the meantime,
I want to touch on another thing, toys and games,
because we also didn't episode it on this and the
importance of having um a variety of gender neutral game
and toy options for children. Right, So, green Army Women,
(26:07):
thanks to a six year old girl from Little Rock, Arkansas,
we're now getting green Army women because we we all
know those like little Green Army Men, there are no women.
And this little girl noticed it. She noticed that there
weren't any women for her to choose from, and she
wrote three toy companies letters that read something like this quote,
some girls don't like pink, so please can you make
army girls that look like women. One of those companies
(26:31):
was BMC Toys, who is now planning on rolling out
four types of army women, including a captain. The owner
of BMC, Jeff Emil, had been contacted about creating green
army women a year or so earlier by a retired
Navy sailor um a woman, and he got his sister,
who was an artist by the name of Tina mL
to draw some prototypes. He told w N A P.
(26:53):
Whether it's a dinosaur or Davy Crockett or an army man,
maybe having a set of plastic army women will help
some kids somewhere be the hero of their own story
at playtime. And I think that's a good thing for everybody. Yes,
Green Army men have been around since nineteen thirties, by
the way, and made it into the National Toy Hall
of Fame. They are also my favorite characters from toy
(27:13):
story when you're running a Disney World race, because so
when you run a Disney World race at a mile,
there's characters like cheering you on, uh, and they're usually
right after you run up the super steep hill and
they're kind of yelling at you, which is I like it,
did they do the walk because they have that stand? Yes,
I think so. Usually at this point I'm hallucinating the finish.
(27:34):
It is towards the end um and then another thing
Miss Monopoly. Yea, yeah, this has been in the news
and you've probably heard it by now that Hasbro launched
a version of Monopoly called Miss Monopoly. Quote the first
game where women make more than men. Every time a
female player passes go, she receives two instead of the
standard two hundred dollars that male players receive. Women and
(27:57):
girls start with nineteen hundred dollars and men and boys
start with four dollars. Men are awarded for being a
good ally in the game, like watching a female let's
superhero movie, writing an article about women doing around stuff
and we're going to a rally. That's not the only
thing that makes this version different. Instead of real estate players,
invest inventions and innovations of women throughout history, gone to
(28:20):
is the classic mascot replaced by his niece. Seems to
be a consensus a woman in either case. Uh. This,
of course has burned a lot of our arguments about
whether this is empowering or insulting. Of course, angry dudes
who don't like women are furious. M Hasbro awarded three
young women grants of twenty thousand, five eighty dollars each
(28:44):
in non monopoly real money for their inventions in tech.
Yeah you know, I don't want the handing out Monopoly money.
I want that the in the video. There was a
video of these teenagers discussing their inventions and it received
a thirteen thousand discs and only sixty ish likes and
the comments have been disabled, which does not surprise me,
(29:06):
but it does make me very sad misogyny exists. But also,
did we need a gendered version of this game? Like
it kind of sucks that women make more in this
one version of Monopoly World but make less in the
real world. You would think that they would have some
kind of option instead of having one set pay. Maybe
you have a card and this is your job, didn't
life do that? Yeah? Your job? So that before you
(29:30):
making this amount of money, right, that's a that game.
I've got a lot of fights over that game, and
I'm like, but this is a fake life. I don't
know why you're mad at me that I won the lottery.
I got more mad about Monopoly, Like my dad pretend
like he burned it and taken away from us because
we got to so many fights about that. I've said before,
I've cheated and lost. I've never won a game of monopoly.
(29:52):
And also I'm not sure how I would react if
I was a kid playing this, and that's how I
learned about the gender wage gap. Yeah, I don't know.
The message could be too that womenita head start because
we can't just hack it like man. I can see
how you could interpret it that way. The interesting thing
about monopoly is that it was invented by a woman
named Elizabeth Madgie to demonstrate the evils of landlords and
(30:13):
people hoarding real estate. She filed for a patent for
the Landlord's Game and the nineteen hundreds, and then men
realized that they could make money off of this game
by the evils of like making too much money, um.
And then they took it and turned it into a
celebration of capitalism at its worst. And while her game
is accepted as the basis for Monopoly, she doesn't receive
(30:34):
any of the official credit. To this day, she made
five dollars um. This is on the Tales of Monopolies
Millennial version. Uh quote forget real estate. You can't afford
it anyway. And I know there's a lot of like
avocado toast in that game. Uh. And apparently there's a
(30:55):
monopoly for socialist, Monopoly for a socialist. I've got to
know more about that. How is how do you have
a monopoly if you're a socialist. I don't know. We'll
have to we'll have to play. Oh, you know a
new girl they talk about the said Thailand. He's like,
(31:17):
this is like a Thailand version of Monopoly, but everybody's
in jail and you've had over one property. Oh, dear girl.
Apparently there's a lot more to monopoly than well, you
can play the McDonald's version really win some money. I
used to have the computer version of the Star Wars one.
(31:38):
I used to have the phone like it was a
phone game kind of like Solitaire, and I could just
play Monopoly. And I cheated on that a lot too.
You can cheat, Yeah, you could just reset things. My goodness,
we're a bunch of cheaters here. It's only when it
comes to monopoly, which is kind of the point of monopoly. Yeah,
all right, um, I've wanted to throw in here. We're
(32:00):
first Vagina Museum opened in London. Um, can we ask
our bosses if we can go visit it? Absolutely we can. Well,
I think we'll get turned down, but why I wants
to go? Any listeners go check it out. It's new.
I've been to museums like this before and they're, in
my experience, a little weird, but this one could be
(32:20):
super cool. Um, So I'd love any listeners who go,
wonder if there's any George O'Keefe type of I hope
so things in there, I hope. So we gotta believe
it and then D and D update. I know everybody's
been waiting. I've been waiting for I am in the
midst of running my first campaign. I found it is
(32:41):
a lot of work, but it is a lot of fun.
I like having the power. So are you going to
have another limbless body to track around? Well, that's up
to them. Okay. Now I'm the one that just kind
of sets the rules and they try to break them
in any way that they can. No one ever does
what I think that they will do. Even when I
(33:01):
got in my way to think myself, well it's the
last thing I think they'll do. Nope, there's another thing
behind that thing. That they thought to do. Um Also
in this in theory, this campaign was supposed to be
a one shot, meaning it takes one session, but we're
barely getting into the main story with a whole bunch
of different storylines branching off that, and we're four sessions
(33:21):
and oh well, so I'll continue to keep you updated
as as things go off the rails. Yes, and another
very important update about updates is fan fiction too. Of
my favorite fan fictions updated and they hadn't updated in years,
well were they? That's a huge deal. One of them
was a Harry Potter one. Oh okay, they were both
(33:44):
Harry Potter fan fiction and they hadn't updated in like
five six years, five or six years, and they decide
I wonder what made them decide to do so, I
don't know. They wrote a big note like, hey, sorry
about this. I didn't abandon it, but I've been busy,
Like I mean, yes, they feel like you've all taking
this story, and I'm like, no, not me. I didn't
(34:05):
print it off. And in the bed with it, don't
tell everyone about my printing off of the story. And
I was just going to quickly mention Peaches, because you know,
that was what my stuff was and my update is
she's still a jerk but adorable. Um. Yeah, she just
rolls around like another and I love it. Yeah she
(34:26):
hugs me. She doesn't, but she I think she does.
I imagine because I make her put her paws like
around my neck a little bit. And I'm just holding
it over to day and I hear from her, so
you know, it's okay, I accept it. I accepted Social
work world. Things have been slowly changing because you know,
(34:46):
as governments transition or new administration happens, things change. So
it's been changes. That's all I got. Oh. I was
trying to think of something encouraging to say, but you know,
you know he's still you know, I did. I will
(35:08):
say that just personally. We did have I have to
review some of our kids that get treatment, actually all
of my kids that get treatment, and we had a
really great one and I have a lot of hope
for this kid. So that's always nice to see. Yeah,
so we'll give you that out there. Yeah, we have
some more things that are nice to hear. But first
(35:28):
we have one more quick break for word from our sponsor,
and we're back, Thank you sponsor, and we're back with
something we've been meaning to bring back for a while. Yes,
(35:52):
we love getting it um. Mary Anne wrote, my name
is Marianne and I'm a new listener to the podcast.
I am really enjoying all the episodes. Cue. I just
listened to your Spiny Pulls an all nighter episode and
I had a few things to say about it. I
suffer from polycystic ovary syndrome PICOS and I'm learning so
many things about it and recently discovered the role sleep
plays and the regulation of our hormones as you stay
(36:14):
in the episode, I wanted to share some of the
things that have helped me get such better sleep. One
of the ways that can help reset circadian rhythm is
light therapy, specifically spending time outside during the day and
night to help your body realize when it's time to
start winding down to go to sleep. Spending time outside
in the early morning, midday, and evening can greatly help
(36:34):
regulate your body into realizing when it's time to go
to bed. As little as thirty minutes can greatly improve
one's quality of sleep. I have switched over to using
a dawn simul. I don't know what that is. What
I'm interested, Oh, I guess I can totally explained to you. Yeah,
so it's it's just this light that literally glows open
as if it's a sunrise. They yeah, the okay, so
(36:54):
she switched over to that dawn simulating alarm clock. Thanks
for the explanation, which is lately helped me get up
in the mornings. Additionally, my doctor recommended melitonin to me,
but stresses that larger dosages over an extended period of
time can have a negative impact on the body's natural
protection of melitonin. As a result, she recommends point five
milligrams a couple of hours before bedtime to let your
body know, hey, you should be winding down to go
(37:16):
to bed, and then larger doses for the times when
you wake up in the middle of the night or
when you travel. Just these three things that helped me immensely,
and I no longer wake up fatigued, and I felt
compelled to share with you well, thank you so much,
and we we did get a lot of tips about
how to how to sleep better, very much appreciated. Keep
them coming because I did not sleep last night. I
didn't either, Lindsay wrote, I love Sminty, thank you, and
(37:40):
I just listened to your episode on the opioid crisis.
I'm a youth outreach worker at a community health center
in London, Ontario, Canada. The crisis has hit our community hard,
and so of course this episode resonates with me and
the work I do as an outreach worker. I just
want to let you know about some stuff that our
community is doing that is pretty cool. Has been a
fight to get there, but we are trying to be
leaders in our country. We opened a supervised consumption site
(38:02):
and have really stepped up our clean equipment distribution. But
you really need to check out the work of Dr
Andrea Serrata and the work that she is doing with
prescribing opioids to her patients and her Safer Supply program.
It's one of the very few programs that is prescribing
take home pills like this, and you can find her
on Twitter. Her handle is Andrea Serrata s E R
E d A. Also awesome. Yeah, totally check that out.
(38:25):
And so I'm also some of the social media comments,
you know, because I'm so good at that social media.
Um listener sagal and I'm really sorry if I I
mispronounced that, and it's at I'm just gonna spell this out.
S as h A r h A R One shared
this after was in a name episode. Hi, just a
comment about Vladiman Puttin's name from the Names episode. Russians
(38:48):
have a patronymic name and you can notice this custom
in Russian literature. So Putin's father was in fact also Vladimir.
Vladimir Vladimir Ovik is Vladimir, son of Vladimir. I just
wanted to but that's what I can. Try not to
fumble over that, and I did ten times, so, which
was fantastic. I was like, that's super interesting and a
lot of Vladimir's in that center is so all Harry's
(39:09):
podcast let us know in Brazil, we're trying to fix
this gap. After we were talking about bridging the gap,
the gender gap podcasting um. When trying to fix this
gap at our Craft created the hashtag Harry's podcasters or podcasters.
They created hashtag and to involve and support the women's
those are that are producers and hosts. We created a
(39:31):
community share and encourage these hosts to talk about anything
they want, and so they talked about they continue to
let us know how to invite more women to talk
about the issues and to tell their stories. So I
thought that was super amazing. Um, and I loved what
they were saying about how they were trying to get
this done with the hashtag and creating more awareness for
women in podcasting of the course in Brazil, I'm like,
(39:52):
can I come hang out with you? Um. We also
had our listener Casey Face. Yeah, I said I liked
her handle, which is at spot pants s P O
C K P A n T. S Um asked us
about our hog worts houses. That was a question question,
a very important question. And I am even called that
(40:13):
as supposed to the US is are they Yes, it's
Raven called by a lot Hufflepuff, Griffin Door, Slytherin. Yeah,
and you are supposedly I am definitely Griffin Door because
I'm saying you and I had this conversation. There are
some guys a confidential conversation, but Casey Face is actually Hufflepuff,
(40:38):
So now we just need our Slytherin. So I just
wanted to throw that there because I thought that was fun.
We love talking about Harry Potter on here so as well,
right all the time. Yeah, I have a friend who
so the patronis test Um, I got swift on my
first time and I liked it, so I never took
it again. And plus to take it again, you have
to like register a new email address. But all my
(40:58):
other friends didn't like the one that at the first time,
so they registered a second email address and took it again,
and they all got like Swan and horse and wolf,
except for one. She got mole and she tried to
hide it from us that I'm telling everybody on this podcast.
I won't say your name, but I'm telling your story.
And she tried to hide it from us. But then
(41:20):
like she took a picture of it and we were
looking at we were taking pictures with her phone. Oh no,
they can be cute. Wait, producer, Andrew, are you in
the house of something another Griffin door whatever. Hey, they
(41:42):
all have their own qualities. It's a very political way.
You just say it. And if you want to write
in about your Hogwarts house, super happy to hear it, obviously.
Um you can write to us our email addresses Steph
Media mom Stuff at iHeart media dot com. You can
find us on Twitter, mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram
at Stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks as always to
(42:04):
our super producer Andrew Howard. Thanks Andrew, and thanks to
you for listening stuff I've never told your protection of
iHeart Radios how stuff works. For more podcasts from My
Heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast A,
wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Stuff Mom Never Told You News
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