July 7, 2010 • 16 mins
In this episode, Molly and Cristen explore how babies are cared for at a neonatal intensive care unit, or NICU, and share tips for parents with children in the NICU.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray.
It's ready. Are you welcome to stuff Mom Never told you?
From House Stuff Works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to
the podcast. This is Molly and I'm Kristen. Kristen Uh's
(00:21):
Baby Week on Discovery Health. Indeed it is there. UM
I'm gonna be all sorts of programs about weird pregnancies,
crazy instances of having babies. You can't escape it. Here
at the house Stuff Works office, we are we are
baby Baby Baby. Here, we are Baby Baby UM as
part of Discovery Health, which is UM one of the
(00:41):
arms of our corporate family, and so we are doing
a shout out to Baby Week specifically for a new
show that's premiering on Discovery Health about the Neo Natal
Intensive Care Unit a k a. The nick You the
nick You, which is air premature babies go to grow
(01:02):
and get all the support that they need before they
can go home. Well, actually, what I learned when we
were doing this research, Kristen, is that it's not just
necessarily premature babies. It can be any baby that needs
a little little extra TLC sure maybe UM a medication
regiment or something like that. I was surprised to learn
that one in ten babies spend some time in the
Nike You. Yes, and we learned that from the March
(01:25):
of Dimes organization, which um as you may or may
not know, is a nonprofit dedicated to infant health. And
the reason we're bringing them up so early in the
podcast is they run one of the best websites for
parents who have a child in the nick You and
so that's where a lot of this information that is
coming from today is going to come from. And they
(01:46):
also provide a lot of support systems for parents who've
got a child in the Nike You. Again, so that's
that would be one of the first places you're gonna turn.
But the way we're going to approach this today is
no one expects to have a child in the Nike You.
Most likely unless you've ad a really difficult pregnancy. Um
you know, the fact that you have a prettymature baby
might catch you unaware. Yeah, we might think of it
(02:07):
as more of a worst case scenario, but they're good
news is is that the nick You is ready to
protect and support your baby. There's a lot going on.
It's a busy place, it's not like, and the doctor
just takes the baby away and puts it off in
an isolation chamber and and calls it a day. Uh,
(02:29):
there's there are a lot of people there who can
not only support your baby, but also support mothers and
families that are going through this, because the March of
Dimes points out that going through the nick You experience
can be an emotional roller coaster because obviously parents are
very concerned if if they have a premature baby that
has to go to the Nike you. Um, and you know,
(02:50):
there's there's just a lot of emotions surrounding that you've
just had a baby. Right, it's supposed to be one
of the happiest days of your life, Kristen, this new
bundle of joy, and instead of getting to hold it
and show it off and take all sorts of cute pictures, uh,
you you're dealing with a lot of guilt, a lot
of stress, fear, what's going on. And so that's a
little bit what we want to try and address in
this podcast. Uh. If you do become one of those
(03:13):
one in ten families, uh, you'll have a little bit
of idea about what's going on, and of course it
will give you a little bit of a preview for
the show Nick You. Yeah, so why don't we just
walk our listeners through what you can expect in the
Nick because I was kind of surprised to learn just
how many different people you're gonna encounter in the Nike You.
(03:34):
It's not just nurses and babies. You're gonna have specialized
pediatricians who are trained at taking care of premature babies,
who are kind of the heads of the Nike And
then you're gonna have support staff that will include other
doctors and nurses, such as respiratory therapists you help the
child breathe. You're gonna have speech language pathologists who would
(03:57):
work with a baby um in terms of swallowing or feeding.
Nike You teams are also going to include social workers
who are going to really assist the parents with everything
from handling insurance benefits to dealing with that emotional roller
coaster to the March of Dimes referenced, and you know,
if you are in a hospital, there will be additional
people you can drawn if you wanted to, if you
want to draw on, you know, the clergy that's on
(04:19):
staff at a hospital. And again, the March of Dimes
works with some hospitals to have support staff they're also
UM let's talk about what all those people are doing, because,
like you said, Christen, it's a big team, and I
think I would be most scared about walking in and
seeing a baby covered, you know, with the tubes, the
wires in some sort of you know chamber. Tell me,
(04:40):
tell me what's going on. A lot of times, premature
babies will be kept in an isolate, which is more
commonly referred to as an incubator or a radiant warmer,
and this basically ensures that UM, there aren't a lot
of germs that are getting into it's very very sensitive
immune system and respiratory system, and also make sure that
(05:02):
the baby's body temperature stays up. UM in an isolate
also as a layer of protection against noise. We might
not think about that as affecting babies, but that kind
of noise and they're very very sensitive bodies can be
harmful and those are usually connected to i vs that
are delivering fluids and medication to the babies. UM. They
(05:24):
might have a little ahesive pads on their chests which
are part of cardio pulmonary monitors to track their breathing
and heart rates, and then they'll also have pulse monitors
to see how much oxygen is in their blood, and
then also cuffs to monitor their blood pressure, and perhaps
a ventilator as well. So now they're hooked up to
all these things, and there's gonna be a lot of
(05:45):
tests throughout the day to make sure that the baby
is progressing as it should. Um most probably they're going
to do some blood tests to check blood, oxygen, sugar,
billy reubin, electro light levels. They might also have a
urine test daily to check on kidney function. There's gonna
be a lot of way in. There might be some
portable X ray machines, MRI scans to check organ functions,
and if there's a heart issue with the developing baby,
(06:08):
they might have an echo cardiogram. Now, one of the
most frightening aspects of having if you're a parent who
has the baby in the nickue, is this idea of
your newborn child being in isolation. However, there are actually
a lot of bonding opportunities that are made available to
parents in their baby because um doctors have found that
(06:31):
skin to skin contact is very important for premature babies
growth and also um if possible um breastfeeding breast milk
feeding right, and you know some people they may not
be able to actually um feed the child through the breast,
that the child might not be developed enough yet to
suck out the milk. So you can pump and they
can administer it to the baby in a bottle and
(06:52):
maybe you'll be able to do it. That might be
one of the milestones you get to hit as your
baby developed. You know, it might be fed by two
for a while and then one day it'll be like, hey,
baby's big enough. You feed it on your own. And
one of the tips at the March of Dimes provides
is to just keep asking about that to see like
you know, it gives you an idea of your baby status,
but it also shows that you know you're ready to
(07:13):
be there when when that milestone arrives. And another big milestone,
depending on how premature the baby is um, it might
be when the pediatriction says that it's okay for you
to hold your baby. And when this happens here she
will probably encourage skin to skin contact, which is referred
to as kangaroo care, and that involves um the parent
(07:36):
opening up their shirt and holding you know, baby who's
just wearing a diaper directly against their chests, and some
doctors think that this type of contact can really shorten
a baby stay in the Nikke, there's just something about
that um parent to child's skin to skin contact that
that's just really good for them. Plus it's the most
adorably named babyhold ever in And you know, there's been
(07:58):
a recommendation that you know, it may not be the
kind of milestones you wanted to celebrate, you know, holding
your child for the first time, feeding it for the
first time, but to really, you know, take this scary
experience and turn into something that's you know, all part
of a kid's baby book. Keep a journal of these moments,
uh take take as main pictures as you would take
if everything had happened the way that you planned, and
(08:19):
just you know, while you're riding that emotional roller coaster,
try and still have as much celebration in those milestones
as you as you were probably feeling stress and anxious
anxiety about them. And one of the biggest pieces of
advice that the March of Dimes offers for parents who
are going through this experience is really trying to arm
themselves with as much information about the environment that they're
(08:40):
in as possible, understanding who different people are, and then
nick you knowing where they can go if they need to, say,
get a cot for the night, Knowing what kinds of
questions to ask, to keep up to date on their
baby's status, um and all of this information can be
easily found either on the March of Dimes website or
the Discovery Health website because really, you know, at this point,
(09:05):
the health of your baby is sort of out of
your hands. You've you kind of have to let the
doctors do their work, which can be ensure very very
nerve wracking for a new parent. But if you have
a little more knowledge and control over the actual environment,
that it might ease that burden a little bit. And
I think that you know, while you say christ and
the care is a little bit out of your hands,
(09:26):
I do think you can still trust your gut as
a parent, as the March up Time says, and you know,
just keep asking questions like can I hold the baby today?
Like how's the baby doing today? If you take the
initiative to see yourself as part of that team that's
caring for your baby, you know, it might ease your
stress about at the end of the day, you know,
handing the baby over to a nurse and then going
and getting some sleep. Knowing that you can be there
(09:47):
as much as you can be there, uh, and having
that interaction on on the baby's development schedule, I think
can be empowering in its own way. It's still scary,
it's still not the way you probably planned it out,
but if you yourself as private that team, it can
be you know, a way to ease that anxiety. And
I think one thing that's important for parents understand is
that even after a baby leaves in a queue and
(10:10):
goes home, it isn't necessarily going to be just right
back to normal. There's still gonna be some extra precautions
that you have to take um possibly some some extra
checkups with the doctor to make sure that you know
the baby is still um developing just fine. And you
might not be able to take the baby out into
(10:31):
any public places for a little while, just because they're
respiratory and immune systems are so sensitive, and it might
be difficult even after you get home from the hospital
just seeing mothers with other babies that might have developed
with with less you know, bumps in the road than
then you and your child and acknowledging all of those feelings,
(10:53):
whether you know it's from the from the joy to
the anguish, is something that the March of Times really
urges parents is to do. So. Now, if you go
to that March of Times website, or if you go
to the Discovery Health website which has the show um
all lined up with lots of cool clips and articles
from nick You doctors, NICKI nurses, it provides you all
(11:14):
that information about what the experience is like. But you know,
one thing that I think we've kind of stressed here
on stuff I've never told you, whether we've been talking
about eating disorders or relationships christen as, we know that
the best resource is our listeners. That you guys have
experiences with things like this, and so we want to
know from you if you've had a child uh in
the nick you, what advice you give someone who's going
(11:36):
through the same experience one of which of the things
that we've said have rung true to you which sound
like utter crap um, you know, it's once you get
through that experience, it is sort of a special advantage
point and that you can help other people who are
going through this or who might go through this in
the future. So uh, let's hear from you guys. If
you've had any experiences with the nick you, we'd love
(11:58):
to hear them and share them with the rest of
our listeners. The address is mom Stuff at how stuff
works dot com and don't forget to check out all
of the baby Week festivities in July right and you
can also if you don't want an email, you can
also share your thoughts directly with our other listeners on
our Facebook fan page at Stuff Mom Never Told You,
and you can also follow us on Twitter send us
(12:20):
a tweet if you feel the urge to, and on
Twitter we are Moms Stuff Podcast, So we look forward
to hearing from you guys. In the meantime, we're gonna
read some emails from people who have written in on
previous episodes, such as this one from Aaron on the
pre Nup podcast. She writes that she is an attorney
(12:42):
in Texas. Uh, and anything from this email is stole
in regard to Texas law. But here's a little bit
about Texas. It's probably not unique to anyone else. Aaron writes,
prenups can be a great protection. As you both explained,
there are also postnups, at least in Texas, where mary
couple can make provisions for their future earnings, debts, purchases,
at cetera. One scenario when I would certainly recommend considering
(13:03):
a post up is when one partner stops working outside
the home in order to raise children, assist with elderly parents,
or other reasons. There are laws that can help protect
spouses who choose to stop working during the marriage, but
in Texas there are certain factors within the law before
any protection through the family Code is triggered. A post
up would also be a great idea of one spouse
comes into an unexpected inheritance based on the property laws
(13:23):
of the state involved, there could be issues with the
nature of the property, meaning could be divided upon divorce,
as well as any earnings or debts from that property.
Something else you touched on with dating. Pre nups in
Texas use cohabitation agreements. These are very worthwhile, but I
don't have enough people asking about them before it's too late.
If you're going to live with someone, there will be
debts as stadio with utilities, rents, and maybe in credit
(13:45):
cards and loans. There are also assets like electronics furniture
and maybe even real estate, and if either of the
cohabitants have children, there will certainly be potential issues. I
highly recommend that people talk with an attorney in their
state prior to moving in with someone to find out
what things may need to be addressed. All right, well,
I've found a email here from Kate, also about our
prenup podcasts, and she says, well, I can appreciate the
(14:06):
always be prepared motto, especially considering such a huge decision
is getting married and all that comes with it. It's
still impossible to minimize or eliminate risk, especially in dealing
with human relationships. Although divorce is frighteningly common these days,
I would like to think that in most cases, even
with broken hearts and lots of anger involved, people can
generally treat each other humanely. That may be hopelessly naive
(14:28):
of me, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
I simply believe that the more we try to wrap
and define our lives in legal tape, the less we're
actually living and the less profound our relationships become. Things
will break down, for sure, and you will have to
pick up the pieces. But that's really all part of
the deal. Also, just a quick thought about the metaphor
of the plane crash. Neither you, nor the pilot, nor
(14:50):
anyone else on board as any part in the quote
unquote decision to crash. So thank you Kate for your
perspective on prenups. I have one more and it's really short,
but it's from Doug and it's about what we should
call single ladies podcasts all right, And Doug wrote us
a fabulous email that says, I think that fabulous single
ladies should be referred to as conger Molly's old Doug.
(15:14):
I don't score some brownie points, so if you guys
want to score brownie points as well, send us an email,
though it does not have to be positive or just
send as brownies or or just good thoughts from wherever
you live. Um. Again, the email addresses mom stuff at
how stuff works dot com And as Kristen said, we're
on Facebook, Twitter, and during the week you can check
out all our thoughts on our blog which is called
(15:36):
stuff Remember told you, and it is at how stuff
works dot com. For more on this and thousands of
other topics. Because at how stuff works dot com. Want
more how stuff works, check out our blogs on the
house stuff works dot Com home page, brought to you
(15:57):
by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera. It's ready, are
you
Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray.
It's ready. Are you welcome to stuff Mom Never told you?
From House Stuff Works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to
the podcast. This is Molly and I'm Kristen. Kristen Uh's
(00:21):
Baby Week on Discovery Health. Indeed it is there. UM
I'm gonna be all sorts of programs about weird pregnancies,
crazy instances of having babies. You can't escape it. Here
at the house Stuff Works office, we are we are
baby Baby Baby. Here, we are Baby Baby UM as
part of Discovery Health, which is UM one of the
(00:41):
arms of our corporate family, and so we are doing
a shout out to Baby Week specifically for a new
show that's premiering on Discovery Health about the Neo Natal
Intensive Care Unit a k a. The nick You the
nick You, which is air premature babies go to grow
(01:02):
and get all the support that they need before they
can go home. Well, actually, what I learned when we
were doing this research, Kristen, is that it's not just
necessarily premature babies. It can be any baby that needs
a little little extra TLC sure maybe UM a medication
regiment or something like that. I was surprised to learn
that one in ten babies spend some time in the
Nike You. Yes, and we learned that from the March
(01:25):
of Dimes organization, which um as you may or may
not know, is a nonprofit dedicated to infant health. And
the reason we're bringing them up so early in the
podcast is they run one of the best websites for
parents who have a child in the nick You and
so that's where a lot of this information that is
coming from today is going to come from. And they
(01:46):
also provide a lot of support systems for parents who've
got a child in the Nike You. Again, so that's
that would be one of the first places you're gonna turn.
But the way we're going to approach this today is
no one expects to have a child in the Nike You.
Most likely unless you've ad a really difficult pregnancy. Um
you know, the fact that you have a prettymature baby
might catch you unaware. Yeah, we might think of it
(02:07):
as more of a worst case scenario, but they're good
news is is that the nick You is ready to
protect and support your baby. There's a lot going on.
It's a busy place, it's not like, and the doctor
just takes the baby away and puts it off in
an isolation chamber and and calls it a day. Uh,
(02:29):
there's there are a lot of people there who can
not only support your baby, but also support mothers and
families that are going through this, because the March of
Dimes points out that going through the nick You experience
can be an emotional roller coaster because obviously parents are
very concerned if if they have a premature baby that
has to go to the Nike you. Um, and you know,
(02:50):
there's there's just a lot of emotions surrounding that you've
just had a baby. Right, it's supposed to be one
of the happiest days of your life, Kristen, this new
bundle of joy, and instead of getting to hold it
and show it off and take all sorts of cute pictures, uh,
you you're dealing with a lot of guilt, a lot
of stress, fear, what's going on. And so that's a
little bit what we want to try and address in
this podcast. Uh. If you do become one of those
(03:13):
one in ten families, uh, you'll have a little bit
of idea about what's going on, and of course it
will give you a little bit of a preview for
the show Nick You. Yeah, so why don't we just
walk our listeners through what you can expect in the
Nick because I was kind of surprised to learn just
how many different people you're gonna encounter in the Nike You.
(03:34):
It's not just nurses and babies. You're gonna have specialized
pediatricians who are trained at taking care of premature babies,
who are kind of the heads of the Nike And
then you're gonna have support staff that will include other
doctors and nurses, such as respiratory therapists you help the
child breathe. You're gonna have speech language pathologists who would
(03:57):
work with a baby um in terms of swallowing or feeding.
Nike You teams are also going to include social workers
who are going to really assist the parents with everything
from handling insurance benefits to dealing with that emotional roller
coaster to the March of Dimes referenced, and you know,
if you are in a hospital, there will be additional
people you can drawn if you wanted to, if you
want to draw on, you know, the clergy that's on
(04:19):
staff at a hospital. And again, the March of Dimes
works with some hospitals to have support staff they're also
UM let's talk about what all those people are doing, because,
like you said, Christen, it's a big team, and I
think I would be most scared about walking in and
seeing a baby covered, you know, with the tubes, the
wires in some sort of you know chamber. Tell me,
(04:40):
tell me what's going on. A lot of times, premature
babies will be kept in an isolate, which is more
commonly referred to as an incubator or a radiant warmer,
and this basically ensures that UM, there aren't a lot
of germs that are getting into it's very very sensitive
immune system and respiratory system, and also make sure that
(05:02):
the baby's body temperature stays up. UM in an isolate
also as a layer of protection against noise. We might
not think about that as affecting babies, but that kind
of noise and they're very very sensitive bodies can be
harmful and those are usually connected to i vs that
are delivering fluids and medication to the babies. UM. They
(05:24):
might have a little ahesive pads on their chests which
are part of cardio pulmonary monitors to track their breathing
and heart rates, and then they'll also have pulse monitors
to see how much oxygen is in their blood, and
then also cuffs to monitor their blood pressure, and perhaps
a ventilator as well. So now they're hooked up to
all these things, and there's gonna be a lot of
(05:45):
tests throughout the day to make sure that the baby
is progressing as it should. Um most probably they're going
to do some blood tests to check blood, oxygen, sugar,
billy reubin, electro light levels. They might also have a
urine test daily to check on kidney function. There's gonna
be a lot of way in. There might be some
portable X ray machines, MRI scans to check organ functions,
and if there's a heart issue with the developing baby,
(06:08):
they might have an echo cardiogram. Now, one of the
most frightening aspects of having if you're a parent who
has the baby in the nickue, is this idea of
your newborn child being in isolation. However, there are actually
a lot of bonding opportunities that are made available to
parents in their baby because um doctors have found that
(06:31):
skin to skin contact is very important for premature babies
growth and also um if possible um breastfeeding breast milk
feeding right, and you know some people they may not
be able to actually um feed the child through the breast,
that the child might not be developed enough yet to
suck out the milk. So you can pump and they
can administer it to the baby in a bottle and
(06:52):
maybe you'll be able to do it. That might be
one of the milestones you get to hit as your
baby developed. You know, it might be fed by two
for a while and then one day it'll be like, hey,
baby's big enough. You feed it on your own. And
one of the tips at the March of Dimes provides
is to just keep asking about that to see like
you know, it gives you an idea of your baby status,
but it also shows that you know you're ready to
(07:13):
be there when when that milestone arrives. And another big milestone,
depending on how premature the baby is um, it might
be when the pediatriction says that it's okay for you
to hold your baby. And when this happens here she
will probably encourage skin to skin contact, which is referred
to as kangaroo care, and that involves um the parent
(07:36):
opening up their shirt and holding you know, baby who's
just wearing a diaper directly against their chests, and some
doctors think that this type of contact can really shorten
a baby stay in the Nikke, there's just something about
that um parent to child's skin to skin contact that
that's just really good for them. Plus it's the most
adorably named babyhold ever in And you know, there's been
(07:58):
a recommendation that you know, it may not be the
kind of milestones you wanted to celebrate, you know, holding
your child for the first time, feeding it for the
first time, but to really, you know, take this scary
experience and turn into something that's you know, all part
of a kid's baby book. Keep a journal of these moments,
uh take take as main pictures as you would take
if everything had happened the way that you planned, and
(08:19):
just you know, while you're riding that emotional roller coaster,
try and still have as much celebration in those milestones
as you as you were probably feeling stress and anxious
anxiety about them. And one of the biggest pieces of
advice that the March of Dimes offers for parents who
are going through this experience is really trying to arm
themselves with as much information about the environment that they're
(08:40):
in as possible, understanding who different people are, and then
nick you knowing where they can go if they need to, say,
get a cot for the night, Knowing what kinds of
questions to ask, to keep up to date on their
baby's status, um and all of this information can be
easily found either on the March of Dimes website or
the Discovery Health website because really, you know, at this point,
(09:05):
the health of your baby is sort of out of
your hands. You've you kind of have to let the
doctors do their work, which can be ensure very very
nerve wracking for a new parent. But if you have
a little more knowledge and control over the actual environment,
that it might ease that burden a little bit. And
I think that you know, while you say christ and
the care is a little bit out of your hands,
(09:26):
I do think you can still trust your gut as
a parent, as the March up Time says, and you know,
just keep asking questions like can I hold the baby today?
Like how's the baby doing today? If you take the
initiative to see yourself as part of that team that's
caring for your baby, you know, it might ease your
stress about at the end of the day, you know,
handing the baby over to a nurse and then going
and getting some sleep. Knowing that you can be there
(09:47):
as much as you can be there, uh, and having
that interaction on on the baby's development schedule, I think
can be empowering in its own way. It's still scary,
it's still not the way you probably planned it out,
but if you yourself as private that team, it can
be you know, a way to ease that anxiety. And
I think one thing that's important for parents understand is
that even after a baby leaves in a queue and
(10:10):
goes home, it isn't necessarily going to be just right
back to normal. There's still gonna be some extra precautions
that you have to take um possibly some some extra
checkups with the doctor to make sure that you know
the baby is still um developing just fine. And you
might not be able to take the baby out into
(10:31):
any public places for a little while, just because they're
respiratory and immune systems are so sensitive, and it might
be difficult even after you get home from the hospital
just seeing mothers with other babies that might have developed
with with less you know, bumps in the road than
then you and your child and acknowledging all of those feelings,
(10:53):
whether you know it's from the from the joy to
the anguish, is something that the March of Times really
urges parents is to do. So. Now, if you go
to that March of Times website, or if you go
to the Discovery Health website which has the show um
all lined up with lots of cool clips and articles
from nick You doctors, NICKI nurses, it provides you all
(11:14):
that information about what the experience is like. But you know,
one thing that I think we've kind of stressed here
on stuff I've never told you, whether we've been talking
about eating disorders or relationships christen as, we know that
the best resource is our listeners. That you guys have
experiences with things like this, and so we want to
know from you if you've had a child uh in
the nick you, what advice you give someone who's going
(11:36):
through the same experience one of which of the things
that we've said have rung true to you which sound
like utter crap um, you know, it's once you get
through that experience, it is sort of a special advantage
point and that you can help other people who are
going through this or who might go through this in
the future. So uh, let's hear from you guys. If
you've had any experiences with the nick you, we'd love
(11:58):
to hear them and share them with the rest of
our listeners. The address is mom Stuff at how stuff
works dot com and don't forget to check out all
of the baby Week festivities in July right and you
can also if you don't want an email, you can
also share your thoughts directly with our other listeners on
our Facebook fan page at Stuff Mom Never Told You,
and you can also follow us on Twitter send us
(12:20):
a tweet if you feel the urge to, and on
Twitter we are Moms Stuff Podcast, So we look forward
to hearing from you guys. In the meantime, we're gonna
read some emails from people who have written in on
previous episodes, such as this one from Aaron on the
pre Nup podcast. She writes that she is an attorney
(12:42):
in Texas. Uh, and anything from this email is stole
in regard to Texas law. But here's a little bit
about Texas. It's probably not unique to anyone else. Aaron writes,
prenups can be a great protection. As you both explained,
there are also postnups, at least in Texas, where mary
couple can make provisions for their future earnings, debts, purchases,
at cetera. One scenario when I would certainly recommend considering
(13:03):
a post up is when one partner stops working outside
the home in order to raise children, assist with elderly parents,
or other reasons. There are laws that can help protect
spouses who choose to stop working during the marriage, but
in Texas there are certain factors within the law before
any protection through the family Code is triggered. A post
up would also be a great idea of one spouse
comes into an unexpected inheritance based on the property laws
(13:23):
of the state involved, there could be issues with the
nature of the property, meaning could be divided upon divorce,
as well as any earnings or debts from that property.
Something else you touched on with dating. Pre nups in
Texas use cohabitation agreements. These are very worthwhile, but I
don't have enough people asking about them before it's too late.
If you're going to live with someone, there will be
debts as stadio with utilities, rents, and maybe in credit
(13:45):
cards and loans. There are also assets like electronics furniture
and maybe even real estate, and if either of the
cohabitants have children, there will certainly be potential issues. I
highly recommend that people talk with an attorney in their
state prior to moving in with someone to find out
what things may need to be addressed. All right, well,
I've found a email here from Kate, also about our
prenup podcasts, and she says, well, I can appreciate the
(14:06):
always be prepared motto, especially considering such a huge decision
is getting married and all that comes with it. It's
still impossible to minimize or eliminate risk, especially in dealing
with human relationships. Although divorce is frighteningly common these days,
I would like to think that in most cases, even
with broken hearts and lots of anger involved, people can
generally treat each other humanely. That may be hopelessly naive
(14:28):
of me, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
I simply believe that the more we try to wrap
and define our lives in legal tape, the less we're
actually living and the less profound our relationships become. Things
will break down, for sure, and you will have to
pick up the pieces. But that's really all part of
the deal. Also, just a quick thought about the metaphor
of the plane crash. Neither you, nor the pilot, nor
(14:50):
anyone else on board as any part in the quote
unquote decision to crash. So thank you Kate for your
perspective on prenups. I have one more and it's really short,
but it's from Doug and it's about what we should
call single ladies podcasts all right, And Doug wrote us
a fabulous email that says, I think that fabulous single
ladies should be referred to as conger Molly's old Doug.
(15:14):
I don't score some brownie points, so if you guys
want to score brownie points as well, send us an email,
though it does not have to be positive or just
send as brownies or or just good thoughts from wherever
you live. Um. Again, the email addresses mom stuff at
how stuff works dot com And as Kristen said, we're
on Facebook, Twitter, and during the week you can check
out all our thoughts on our blog which is called
(15:36):
stuff Remember told you, and it is at how stuff
works dot com. For more on this and thousands of
other topics. Because at how stuff works dot com. Want
more how stuff works, check out our blogs on the
house stuff works dot Com home page, brought to you
(15:57):
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