May 28, 2021 • 30 mins
As Memorial Day weekend approaches in the United States, Anney and Samantha dig into the history of the women behind this holiday.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephane
never told your production of I Heart Radio. Here's my
question for you, Samantha. Did you have a school spirit
at your university? Okay, um, of course, University of Georgia.
(00:30):
If you know anything about the University of Georgia then
you know they are die hard sports allegiance type of school.
So yes, I did have quote school spirit. I guess
in that even today, I'm proud of my alma mater,
that I got my degree there, whatever whatnot. I was
(00:51):
excited to get accepted and start school there because it
felt big, especially coming from a small town. But I
think I was more annoyed while I was on campus
because it disrupted so much like school life that I
was like, I don't I don't want any part of this.
What are you doing? And I know it's In fact,
friends and I one person who had many friends who
(01:13):
got married during our time at school, would purposely stay
as far away from anything black and red as possible
because we didn't want to be quote those people. There's
nothing wrong with being proud, please, but at that point
in time, we were just so over it. It wasn't
that big of a deal to me. Right well, listeners,
you might not know what Samantha and I are art rivals. Yes,
(01:38):
we are sworn enemies. True story because I went to
the Institute of the Georgia Institute of Technology or Georgia
Tech NERD. It's funny you say that because my dad
was like a college professor you see in those like
really sentimental movies with like cries with this kid is
(02:00):
when they move on. He was like, so, my mom
just found like a box of letters he kept from
his students. He was just so desperate for me and
my brothers, one of us to become a professor. It
met the world to him. None of his kids had
school spirit, and he would get it tickled him. But
he would get annoyed because I only went to one
(02:21):
game my entire time at Georgia Tech. And I would
purposefully go to the library during games because everyone was
at the games and library, which was usually packed, it
was nice and quiet, right, And now we would go
to the food halls because there was no one there,
and then it would be completely empty and everybody was
at the games. It was delightful. Or the coffee shops. Yeah, yeah,
(02:44):
I mean I did, I really enjoyed the game I
went to, and then after I graduated, I went to
two more games and they were always really fun and
I liked the like walking around beforehand and like the
atmospherere and getting free stuff. I always liked that. But
it was just it's funny to me that there was
(03:04):
this big rivalry between A and Tech, and I had
so many students from U g A telling me like,
we could care less about you. It's actually Florida. It's true,
it's true. But part of that was because it was
more likely that Florida would put up a fun when
it came to football, so sorry, sorry, But also it
(03:26):
was more of a delight because they went away, Like
all of the Florida Georgia games were in Florida, it
was usually around fall break, so I mean the big
hiatus and I was like, oh good, the town was empty.
I love this. But yeah, the rivalry stand because of
that specifically, I mean, people really enjoyed because Thanksgiving that
(03:46):
was always a Georgia rivalry game. Yeah it was. I won.
I didn't win a Source Tech one one time I
watched on TV, and it was very one time they
did win the four times they won since then I
think I have not watched enough to care. Again, Um,
when I was going to school, I don't. I think
(04:09):
I own a total of three U G A shirts
one sweatshirt because I was like, oh, I guess I
should buy some braining. I'm pretty sure my parents bought
me a U G A shirt at one point in time.
I hated going to games. Hated it because of the crowd.
But a lot of times we had adult men who
(04:30):
felt like they were college students and so would just
yell at my face. I had many incidents where I
would have grown men, and when I say grown men,
fifty year old men come yell at me about whatever
sports was happening. I had a couple of grabbed me
corner me. So not great experiences. And U G A
is one of the most BROWI like toxic masculinity definition
(04:52):
when it comes to college football, and I hope it's
changed since then. I don't know, And I never enjoyed
any of that aspects. So right, well, I and then
we'll move on from this conversation and I'll tell you
why I brought it up. But the one game I
went to when I was in college, I was in
the visitors section. I can't remember why, but so I
(05:15):
was sitting with Clemson and it's a viral YouTube clip
and you can see me behind the guy. But this
guy from Clemson, bless his heart, was so into the game.
And when Clemson lost, he was lied out on the
bleachers and he was just sobbing and like his arms
were there, he said, and I was looking down at him, like,
(05:41):
people take this really serious. Yeah, to have that much love,
I mean I definitely have friends. They would literally affect
their entire day, and so you know so and so,
oh no, so and so it's going to be in
the worst mood. We have to get away from them
because you g A lost like stuff like that was
to love a sport that much, as interesting it is,
(06:07):
and I have a lot of thoughts about that as
someone who is in fandom space. It's often mocked for
similar levels of fandomness. But that is a different conversation
for another time. I want to ask you because we're
going to be talking about U G A in this episode,
which is something I did not expect to come up,
because we're we're about to head into Memorial Day weekend
(06:28):
here in the United States, So this episode is gonna
be a bit shorter, but we wanted to look into
some of the women behind Memorial Day and as more
and more people are getting vaccinated and Memorial Day weekend
is often a time in the United States is like
kicking off the summer season of barbecues and being outside.
(06:53):
And Samantha and I are actually attending one of said events. Yeah, yes,
and we did. We have been experiencing some re entry anxiety,
which I know has been in the news a lot,
and we've talked about a lot, even if we didn't
use that term because I hadn't heard it before. But right, yeah,
(07:15):
I think since I've been vaccinated, I've been out three
times and it felt like the last time felt better,
but the first time was like, yes, who was overwhelming?
It was? It was very, very overwhelming and exhausting. And yes,
Samantha and I are going to some events together this
weekend and I'm both excited, but yeah, very like almost
(07:39):
pre tired. Right. I had that experience this weekend so
for unknown reasons, and it just came about I finally
have gone out, but it included having time out in
a outdoor market which is typically crowded, as well as
(08:00):
any time with my family, which is also really just
a big stressor for me in general. So both of
them came together in one weekend and I had back
to back to back things that happened, and I don't
love being social. I am overly anxious about what is happening.
I am very anxious about the reaction around the mask mandates,
(08:20):
and of course there's not one anymore. CDC is kind
of lifted that, and I for when I'm like, oh no,
I'm gonna I'm gonna keep wearing it thanks as long
as I'm around a group of people. And when I
was at the market, there were a lot of people
still wearing it, but there are a lot of people
who weren't, and I was kind of shocked how easily
people are like, hey, we're good, right, we're good. But
that makes me anxious again. The family incident made me anxious,
(08:41):
and I was tired, and I think as we're recording today,
I said the beginning, I'm like, I'm not sure if
I'm actually over going out this weekend, and yeah, we've
got more coming. When you started laughing, because I was like,
oh my god, it's never ending, because it just seems
like so much right now, but at the same time
it seems unavoidable in keeping our friendships and keeping kind
(09:01):
of like maintained because it's a lot of birthday stuff.
So my partner's birthday is this weekend, two of our
co worker's birthday is this weekend, and then Memorial Day
is happening, which I will be at home ignoring everybody.
But there's this whole level of anxiety that again, like
I'm trying my best to not get so affective because
(09:21):
it really does just make me want to shut down.
And as in fact, because we just did them Monday
many recently about our confidence issues and just anxiety and
coming out, and we did have a listener she said
in today's Monday Mini. You touched on in security about
going out and this doesn't apply to all of us,
but I and some other trans people are definitely filling
(09:42):
out of practice at mentally preparing to be visible again.
And that's separate from just our parents and oh my god, yeah,
I can't imagine, especially with all of the bs that
is happening, with the anti trans law, antilogy BTQ stuff,
as well as all the racist things that are happening,
all the sexist thing that are happening. Fat phobia that
is happening. There's just overall level and part of that
(10:05):
is for me, part of the fat phobia and my
own insecurities on my body, the lack of things that
I've done during quarantine. You know, it's just such a
big thing. And amoral day is supposed to be about
celebrating kind of yeah, dot dot just getting as an
excuse to getting out, and man, that does not sound fun. Yeah,
(10:27):
it's certainly a bit nerve racking. I'm finding I'm having
trouble with um. I guess people's expectations that I should,
I should want to go out more and I'm not,
and people seem to think that's weird. Are some people
in my life seemed to think that's weirder. That doesn't
match with how they think I am. And that's been
(10:48):
kind of a strange experience for me. But yeah, we
we also had another listener right in about having gender
and sexuality crisis or questions during the pandemic, and that
is something we wanted to come back and to do
a whole episode on. Hopefully we can find some information
right about that. And it also feels so weird to
(11:09):
be almost complaining that like we have friends. Yeah, we're
not complaining about we are complaining. Yeah, no, no, no, no, um.
And there are so many things I do want to
come back and talk about in another episode about Like
I've just been reading about the whole death to Bras thing. Yeah.
(11:29):
I have become a big fan of taint tops and
pull over sweaters because that means it's not so noticeable.
But I'm not wearing a bra. Yeah, but because they
are starting to hang, but at the same time, I
don't care enough to try to lift them back up. Yeah. Well,
I think the big thing for me is I accidentally,
(11:52):
because I haven't been wearing a bra in my apartment,
I accidentally went outside without a bra. And I don't
think that ever, ever, ever, ever would have happened. Like
before this, we've been like a fear like but then
I was just like halfway to the grocery store or whatever.
I'm like, oh yeah, wherever? All okay, yes, yes, yes, yes,
(12:17):
but okay, let us get into our our topic at hand.
Here in the US, we celebrate Moral Day on the
last Monday in May as a way to honor service
women and men who have given their lives for this country.
Typically marked with a moment of silence and remembrance at
three pm local time. And women played a huge role
(12:38):
in the origins of Memorial Day, and perhaps obviously there's
been a long history of marking those who have died
in war. So this is pretty contained episode, but we
could go way way back for sure, and we are
going to go back to the Civil War. The country
was torn apart and some women looking for a way
(13:00):
to at least start the healing after years of brutal
and devastating conflict. One of the women leading to charge
on this was Ellen call Long, who helped establish the
first Memorial Day Associations, or the Women's Relief Society as
that was more likely called back then, in order to
honor those that had died in the war, they collected
(13:20):
flowers for what was called Decoration Day, and on this
day they also provided care for those disabled during the
Civil War, widows and children. Some stories go that this
whole thing was inspired after the women saw bear Union
soldiers graves in enemy territory in the South and took
it upon themselves to decorate them as well. Right once
(13:43):
the war ended in eighteen sixty five, call Long, along
with other women came together to form a Memorial Society
with the hope of mending some of the pay that
toured the US apart, and eventually this led to Memorial Day.
The federal government named Waterloo, New York, as a birthplace
of Memorial Day in nineteen sixty six, although several places
(14:04):
in the South also lay claim, and a few others
in the North. Twenty five cities altogether, and it became
a national holiday in nineteen seventy one, in part to
make a three day weekend for federal employees. The National
Moment of Remembrance was enacted in two thousand, which is
a lot later than I thought. So some records suggest
(14:25):
that one of the earliest Memorial Day celebrations was held
in Charleston, South Carolina by Freed formerly Inslaved people upwards
about ten thousand people in attendance. Yes, And and about
the kind of recency of the Moment of Remembrance, I
think that was because for a lot of US, Memorial
Day weekend has been lost, like the original meaning has
been lost, and it is like summertime in barbecue. So
(14:48):
this was a way of like trying to remind people
what it is about. Ellen call along is a complicated figure.
She lived in Florida from five to nineteen o five.
She was a plantation owner that profited off slave labor
and a unionist that may or may not have separated
from her husband due to conflicting views on secession, though
(15:09):
she did still provide support for the Confederacy by hosting
soldiers and providing aid to the wounded. So her husband
like moved to Texas and they never got divorced, but
they never lived together again, so okay. Also, she was
into silkworm cultivation and forestry, and in the eighteen eighties
she became the first woman officer of the Southern Forestry Congress.
(15:31):
She compiled and presented a paper about the benefits of
burning when it comes to forestry, fifty years before it
was adopted in the region as a standard. She represented
Florida at numerous exhibitions and events. She helped with historic
preservations like Mount Vernon. She turned down the postmaster position
in two and instead vocally supported black candidate William G. Stewart,
(15:53):
which made a lot of local white people really mad,
to the point that when her book Florida Breezes was
published the next year, these angry white people allegedly burned
and destroyed most of the copies to show their outrage.
They didn't like her views on reconciliation either, or her
opposition to slavery and secession, and her opinion that President
(16:15):
Lincoln was one of America's greatest presidents. This is not
to say she did not have problematic stances on rais,
because she most certainly did. She wrote of her concerns
that black people wouldn't be able to care for themselves
or their children after the Civil War um, and she
was concerned about the plantation economy without slavery too. Cal
wrote in her book about the Ladies Memorial Association, quote,
(16:37):
our purpose is purely religious, a labor of love, the
sacred care of the dead, to reclaim from oblivion and defamation,
the memory and graves of those who quote right or wrong,
stood by their country's cause. And no invidious spirit do
we come. The political storm that shook our country to
its foundation is past. War with its carnage is over,
(16:59):
and we are done with the cause. And though we
scarce discover the silver lining of the dark clouds which
have so long hung like a paul above us, we
believe that it will show itself and are willing to
do all that women can do to stem the tide
of bitterness and a stage they're angry feelings that naturally
at present exists between two sections of the country. Yeah,
(17:19):
and this note, of course, a lot of these groups
in the South were instrumental and still angry. I'll come
back to that. But in getting a Confederate Memorial Day
recognized as a holiday, and by the way, some states,
including our state, still observed it, although they call it
just state holiday. But it's the same day in April,
(17:41):
and I didn't know it existed until I worked at
the Department failed in any children's services, and they're like, yes,
Confederate Memorial Day, in which myself and a lot of
people of color just sat there and looked at each other,
going what right, what is this? And yeah, it's still
exists here, just as known as state holiday. Yep. In
(18:01):
the early days, Memorial Day or Decoration Day was observed
by decorating soldiers graves with flowers and flags and saying
prayers over their grave sites and businesses closed and observance
call along and the other women started these early decoration days.
But you just did a kind of superficial layer of googling.
MARYA John A. Logan, the leader of a group of
(18:21):
Civil War veterans, usually gets the credit for announcing that
May thirty should be a day for remembrance and adorning
soldiers graves of flowers in eighteen sixty eight, though he
himself often credited his wife, Mary Logan. The day was
chosen either because it commemorated at no particular battle and
or because it was when flowers were in full bloom.
(18:42):
The first official observance following this announcement of Logans took
place at Arlington National Cemetery. About five thousand people attended,
and small American flags were placed on the graves. The
day was observed across the country, and the Army and
Navy had protocols in place for out to mark the
day by the end of the nineteenth century. But call
(19:05):
on it was not the only woman involved in making
Memorial Day what it is today. And we'll get into that,
but first we're gonna pause for a crook break for
a word from her sponsor. Ammer back, thank you sponsored? Right. So,
(19:30):
after World War One came to a close, Memorial Day
was expanded to include soldiers who had died in All
American Wars. This is also when the tradition of wearing
a poppy originated, largely things in part to a woman
named Boina Michael. She was inspired by the poem in
flanders Field, which featured red poppies in the imagery. She
wrote her own poem, called that We Shall Keep the Fate,
(19:52):
and wore a red poppy to commemorate Memorial Day in
nineteen eighteen, urging others to do the same. She was
later featured on the three He Sent Stamp in the
US in nineteen forty eight as the founder of Memorial Poppy,
and she published an autobiography called The Miracle Flower, The
Story of the Flanders Filled Memorial Poppy in nineteen forty one.
Michael was an American professor. She worked at the University
(20:15):
of Georgia see then read that read makes a lot
more sense now. And she lived from eighteen sixty nine
ninety four. Her father had fought for the Confederacy and
her family owned a complantation. The outbreak of World War
One forced her to flee from Germany, where she was
spending her vacation. The journey took a tense sixteen days,
(20:37):
with concerns of enemy ships in the water, mines and submarines.
When Michael got back, she poured a lot of time
and effort into ways she could provide comforts for soldiers
waiting for deployment, including finding families to adopt them, basically
take care of them while they're waiting to be deployed,
and relief for those that had returned. She also was
very instrumental and evacuating tourists from Europe, and shevolunteered at
(21:00):
the National y m c A as a war worker
and this is when she got the idea for using
poppies as a symbol for remembrance. She described the inspiration
for the idea in her book like this. On Saturday
morning before Armistice, during the twenty five Conference of the
Overseas y m c A War Secretaries, November nine, a
young soldier, the son of A. G. Nevell, New York City,
(21:23):
Executive Secretary to the War Personnel Board of National War
Workers Council, the governing board for ose Staff and y
m c A Secretaries for Overseas, placed a copy of
the November Ladies Home Journal on my desk at headquarters
about ten thirty o'clock when everyone was on duty elsewhere.
I found time to read it and discovered the mark
page which carried Colonel John mccraye's poem we Shall Not Sleep,
(21:44):
later named in Flanders Fields. It was vividly picturized, most
strikingly illustrated in color. I read the poem, which I
have read many times previously and studies is graphic picturization.
The last verse transfixed me. To you, from failing hands,
we throw the torch be yours to hold it high.
If you break faith with us who die, we shall
(22:04):
not sleep. Though poppies grow in Flanders fields. That was
for me a full spiritual experience. It seemed as though
the silent voices again were vocal whispering in size of
anxiety onto anguish to you, from failing hands, we throw
the torch, be yours to hold it high. If you
break faith with us who die, we shall not sleep.
So poppies grow in Flanders fields. Alone again, in a
(22:27):
high moment of white resolve, I pledged to keep the
faith and always wear a red poppy of Flanders Fields
as a sign of remembrance and the emblem of keeping
the faith with all who died in hectic times, as
were those times, great emotional impacts may be obliterated by
succeeding greater ones. So I felt impelled to make a
note of my pledge. I reached for a used yellow envelope,
(22:48):
turned the blank side up, and hastily scrippled my pledge
to keep the faith with all who died. So she
told people she would wear red poppies in remembrance and
went out in New York City looking for them. She
parked twenty five and War one on her lapel, handing
out the others. She wrote that she wore hers until
her return home in February, and she was determined in
her efforts to make wearing poppies on Memorial Day a thing,
(23:11):
including a national letter writing campaign and a public facing
leader of flanders Field Red Poppy Movement, to the point
that people called her the Poppy Lady, which there's a
whole other indication to that, but whatever, She sold poppies
and used the funds for injured or deceased soldiers. In
nineteen twenty, the American Legion named the poppy as their
official flower, and in nineteen four they started distributing poppies
(23:35):
as a national program. World War One veterans Organizations around
the world adopted the practice, including Canada, Australia, the UK,
and New Zealand. Dating back to the nineteen twenties and
to this day, red poppies are worn on Remembrance Day
and Veterans Day. Selling poppies has raised billions of dollars.
According to her great nephew, Michael helped raise three billion
(23:55):
dollars during her lifetime alone, accounting for inflation. The distribution
of three point five American Legion auxiliary poppies raised two
point one million dollars for American veterans in sixteen, and
the British Royal Legion distributes up to forty five million
poppies a year, raising around sixty four million dollars for
retired or injured soldiers. So when the war came to
(24:16):
an end, Michael taught a class for disabled service members
and attended weekly meetings of the local Chapter of Disabled
American Veterans. She planted poppies on UGA's campus, and in
Michael's hometown of Good Hope. There's a road named after her,
a historical marker, and an annual poppy fest. She was
also inducted into the Georgia Women of achievement in nineteen nine. Yeah,
(24:38):
and if anyone is curious, uh, surprisingly enough, over on
the other podcasting Saber, which is about food, we did
an episode on poppies and we talked about this poem,
the original poem in flanders Field and why poppies were used.
And poppies are really brightly colored and pretty and red
(25:00):
these mass grave sites. During wars, they would sprout up
on on the mass grave sites, so that is at
least part of the reason that they were chosen. We
do have a little bit more for you listeners, but
first we have one worker break for word from our
sponsors and we're back. Thank you sponsoring. We just wanted
(25:30):
to touch on a few things as we close up here,
uh this Memorial Day weekend. As we're recording it, you
could be listening to it whenever, because yeah, modernly, there
are still so many issues with the military and in
this context, especially when it comes to women, sexual assault,
and the l g B t Q plus community. One
of the biggest moments for women's serving in the U. S.
(25:51):
Army was the Women's Armed Services Act of nine. Still today,
women make up only about six of US military forces.
The numbers are much lower when it comes to leadership roles.
The first woman to be named as a four star
general general and Dunwoodie of the U. S Army earned
the title in two thousand and eight. So very recently,
(26:14):
openly gay members of the lgbt Q plus community were
allowed to serve, beginning in twenty eleven with the lifting
of a ban on transgender folks in one which we've
talked about. The ban explicitly prohibiting gay and lesbian people
was enacted in nineteen eighty two. Before that they would
be just charged or I believe criminally it was a
criminal offense, so it could be. And don't ask, don't
(26:36):
tell was enacted in nineteen ninety three. Spousal benefits were
granted to LGBTQ plus military members. Uh in right, and
there are plenty of first when it comes to marginalized
folks serving in the US military. We talked about day
Williams in our Female First series with Ease, for example,
um and history is full of fierce warriors, plenty of
(26:58):
whom we've talked about. At the same time, women and
members of the l g bt Q plus community have
long been serving the military, whether officially or not, or
in the capacity of nurses, scientists, operators keeping the country
and running in all kinds of ways, and many of
their contributions unrecognized or refused to be recognized yet. And
obviously it's been a big point of contention in the
(27:21):
last six years about what's been happening. And yes, with
a new administration, with the band being lifted for the
trans community be able to serve, and the fact that
it's still a conversation is really sad to me and
I can't I can't get over that. But yeah, and
then just the ugly history of how women and marginalized
communities are treated within those fields as well, and why,
(27:43):
for some reason we still have to talk about the
I guess, the overall lack of care for after services
and how little is being done and how little money
is being invested for that, as well as who can
act says it. So lots of big things that we
could talk about here and we need to talk about soon,
(28:05):
but not necessarily from a moyal day, I guess. Yeah, Yeah,
I just felt like that was good to touch on
that because there are a lot of complicated issues around
pretty much everything we talked about, but certainly the military
and certainly in this case the US military, And that's
a good point about the aftercare and the lack thereof
(28:26):
veterans often don't I guess, don't receive and that is
these women we've talked about, all these women's groups, that's
what their focus was was, you know, the the veterans
and the children left behind or the widows left behind.
So they were trying to fill that space and that's
a part of why we have Memorial Day today. And
(28:49):
then of course there's recently been the whole hubbub around
dead crews, and they woke emasculated military, as he called
it in the US after a US commercial followed a
woman soldier. He compared it to Russian commercial for their military.
And I think that's very telling right there. Right I
(29:13):
was gonna say that seems a little bit on the nose.
It does. It does. And I know we've talked about
this before, but I grew up in a military town.
Is one of the biggest military colleges in Southeast I
think we had like an r OTC program, and I
know I talked about it, but I people try to
recruit me into the military, and that was a selling point.
(29:33):
Was pretty much this brewery culture. But they were selling
it to me and like, you're gonna have all the
pics of hot dudes that you want And I was fifteen, right,
huh okay, that is that is not a selling point. Yeah,
I don't know about that. Well. Listeners, we hope that
whatever you're doing or not doing that you're doing well,
(29:56):
and um, let us know. Let us know if you're
experiencing reintriue anxiety or if you have any other topics
around the military you would like us to discuss, because
we know there is so much to unpack there and
you can send any of those suggestions are way our emails,
Stuff Medium, mom Stuff at iHeart media dot com. You
(30:17):
can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast or
on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told to You. Thanks
It's always start a super producer, Christina. Thank you, Christina,
and thanks to you for listening Stuff I've Never Told
You the protection of I Heart Radio. For more podcast
on I heart Radio, you can listen to the I
heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephane
never told your production of I Heart Radio. Here's my
question for you, Samantha. Did you have a school spirit
at your university? Okay, um, of course, University of Georgia.
(00:30):
If you know anything about the University of Georgia then
you know they are die hard sports allegiance type of school.
So yes, I did have quote school spirit. I guess
in that even today, I'm proud of my alma mater,
that I got my degree there, whatever whatnot. I was
(00:51):
excited to get accepted and start school there because it
felt big, especially coming from a small town. But I
think I was more annoyed while I was on campus
because it disrupted so much like school life that I
was like, I don't I don't want any part of this.
What are you doing? And I know it's In fact,
friends and I one person who had many friends who
(01:13):
got married during our time at school, would purposely stay
as far away from anything black and red as possible
because we didn't want to be quote those people. There's
nothing wrong with being proud, please, but at that point
in time, we were just so over it. It wasn't
that big of a deal to me. Right well, listeners,
you might not know what Samantha and I are art rivals. Yes,
(01:38):
we are sworn enemies. True story because I went to
the Institute of the Georgia Institute of Technology or Georgia
Tech NERD. It's funny you say that because my dad
was like a college professor you see in those like
really sentimental movies with like cries with this kid is
(02:00):
when they move on. He was like, so, my mom
just found like a box of letters he kept from
his students. He was just so desperate for me and
my brothers, one of us to become a professor. It
met the world to him. None of his kids had
school spirit, and he would get it tickled him. But
he would get annoyed because I only went to one
(02:21):
game my entire time at Georgia Tech. And I would
purposefully go to the library during games because everyone was
at the games and library, which was usually packed, it
was nice and quiet, right, And now we would go
to the food halls because there was no one there,
and then it would be completely empty and everybody was
at the games. It was delightful. Or the coffee shops. Yeah, yeah,
(02:44):
I mean I did, I really enjoyed the game I
went to, and then after I graduated, I went to
two more games and they were always really fun and
I liked the like walking around beforehand and like the
atmospherere and getting free stuff. I always liked that. But
it was just it's funny to me that there was
(03:04):
this big rivalry between A and Tech, and I had
so many students from U g A telling me like,
we could care less about you. It's actually Florida. It's true,
it's true. But part of that was because it was
more likely that Florida would put up a fun when
it came to football, so sorry, sorry, But also it
(03:26):
was more of a delight because they went away, Like
all of the Florida Georgia games were in Florida, it
was usually around fall break, so I mean the big
hiatus and I was like, oh good, the town was empty.
I love this. But yeah, the rivalry stand because of
that specifically, I mean, people really enjoyed because Thanksgiving that
(03:46):
was always a Georgia rivalry game. Yeah it was. I won.
I didn't win a Source Tech one one time I
watched on TV, and it was very one time they
did win the four times they won since then I
think I have not watched enough to care. Again, Um,
when I was going to school, I don't. I think
(04:09):
I own a total of three U G A shirts
one sweatshirt because I was like, oh, I guess I
should buy some braining. I'm pretty sure my parents bought
me a U G A shirt at one point in time.
I hated going to games. Hated it because of the crowd.
But a lot of times we had adult men who
(04:30):
felt like they were college students and so would just
yell at my face. I had many incidents where I
would have grown men, and when I say grown men,
fifty year old men come yell at me about whatever
sports was happening. I had a couple of grabbed me
corner me. So not great experiences. And U G A
is one of the most BROWI like toxic masculinity definition
(04:52):
when it comes to college football, and I hope it's
changed since then. I don't know, And I never enjoyed
any of that aspects. So right, well, I and then
we'll move on from this conversation and I'll tell you
why I brought it up. But the one game I
went to when I was in college, I was in
the visitors section. I can't remember why, but so I
(05:15):
was sitting with Clemson and it's a viral YouTube clip
and you can see me behind the guy. But this
guy from Clemson, bless his heart, was so into the game.
And when Clemson lost, he was lied out on the
bleachers and he was just sobbing and like his arms
were there, he said, and I was looking down at him, like,
(05:41):
people take this really serious. Yeah, to have that much love,
I mean I definitely have friends. They would literally affect
their entire day, and so you know so and so,
oh no, so and so it's going to be in
the worst mood. We have to get away from them
because you g A lost like stuff like that was
to love a sport that much, as interesting it is,
(06:07):
and I have a lot of thoughts about that as
someone who is in fandom space. It's often mocked for
similar levels of fandomness. But that is a different conversation
for another time. I want to ask you because we're
going to be talking about U G A in this episode,
which is something I did not expect to come up,
because we're we're about to head into Memorial Day weekend
(06:28):
here in the United States, So this episode is gonna
be a bit shorter, but we wanted to look into
some of the women behind Memorial Day and as more
and more people are getting vaccinated and Memorial Day weekend
is often a time in the United States is like
kicking off the summer season of barbecues and being outside.
(06:53):
And Samantha and I are actually attending one of said events. Yeah, yes,
and we did. We have been experiencing some re entry anxiety,
which I know has been in the news a lot,
and we've talked about a lot, even if we didn't
use that term because I hadn't heard it before. But right, yeah,
(07:15):
I think since I've been vaccinated, I've been out three
times and it felt like the last time felt better,
but the first time was like, yes, who was overwhelming?
It was? It was very, very overwhelming and exhausting. And yes,
Samantha and I are going to some events together this
weekend and I'm both excited, but yeah, very like almost
(07:39):
pre tired. Right. I had that experience this weekend so
for unknown reasons, and it just came about I finally
have gone out, but it included having time out in
a outdoor market which is typically crowded, as well as
(08:00):
any time with my family, which is also really just
a big stressor for me in general. So both of
them came together in one weekend and I had back
to back to back things that happened, and I don't
love being social. I am overly anxious about what is happening.
I am very anxious about the reaction around the mask mandates,
(08:20):
and of course there's not one anymore. CDC is kind
of lifted that, and I for when I'm like, oh no,
I'm gonna I'm gonna keep wearing it thanks as long
as I'm around a group of people. And when I
was at the market, there were a lot of people
still wearing it, but there are a lot of people
who weren't, and I was kind of shocked how easily
people are like, hey, we're good, right, we're good. But
that makes me anxious again. The family incident made me anxious,
(08:41):
and I was tired, and I think as we're recording today,
I said the beginning, I'm like, I'm not sure if
I'm actually over going out this weekend, and yeah, we've
got more coming. When you started laughing, because I was like,
oh my god, it's never ending, because it just seems
like so much right now, but at the same time
it seems unavoidable in keeping our friendships and keeping kind
(09:01):
of like maintained because it's a lot of birthday stuff.
So my partner's birthday is this weekend, two of our
co worker's birthday is this weekend, and then Memorial Day
is happening, which I will be at home ignoring everybody.
But there's this whole level of anxiety that again, like
I'm trying my best to not get so affective because
(09:21):
it really does just make me want to shut down.
And as in fact, because we just did them Monday
many recently about our confidence issues and just anxiety and
coming out, and we did have a listener she said
in today's Monday Mini. You touched on in security about
going out and this doesn't apply to all of us,
but I and some other trans people are definitely filling
(09:42):
out of practice at mentally preparing to be visible again.
And that's separate from just our parents and oh my god, yeah,
I can't imagine, especially with all of the bs that
is happening, with the anti trans law, antilogy BTQ stuff,
as well as all the racist things that are happening,
all the sexist thing that are happening. Fat phobia that
is happening. There's just overall level and part of that
(10:05):
is for me, part of the fat phobia and my
own insecurities on my body, the lack of things that
I've done during quarantine. You know, it's just such a
big thing. And amoral day is supposed to be about
celebrating kind of yeah, dot dot just getting as an
excuse to getting out, and man, that does not sound fun. Yeah,
(10:27):
it's certainly a bit nerve racking. I'm finding I'm having
trouble with um. I guess people's expectations that I should,
I should want to go out more and I'm not,
and people seem to think that's weird. Are some people
in my life seemed to think that's weirder. That doesn't
match with how they think I am. And that's been
(10:48):
kind of a strange experience for me. But yeah, we
we also had another listener right in about having gender
and sexuality crisis or questions during the pandemic, and that
is something we wanted to come back and to do
a whole episode on. Hopefully we can find some information
right about that. And it also feels so weird to
(11:09):
be almost complaining that like we have friends. Yeah, we're
not complaining about we are complaining. Yeah, no, no, no, no, um.
And there are so many things I do want to
come back and talk about in another episode about Like
I've just been reading about the whole death to Bras thing. Yeah.
(11:29):
I have become a big fan of taint tops and
pull over sweaters because that means it's not so noticeable.
But I'm not wearing a bra. Yeah, but because they
are starting to hang, but at the same time, I
don't care enough to try to lift them back up. Yeah. Well,
I think the big thing for me is I accidentally,
(11:52):
because I haven't been wearing a bra in my apartment,
I accidentally went outside without a bra. And I don't
think that ever, ever, ever, ever would have happened. Like
before this, we've been like a fear like but then
I was just like halfway to the grocery store or whatever.
I'm like, oh yeah, wherever? All okay, yes, yes, yes, yes,
(12:17):
but okay, let us get into our our topic at hand.
Here in the US, we celebrate Moral Day on the
last Monday in May as a way to honor service
women and men who have given their lives for this country.
Typically marked with a moment of silence and remembrance at
three pm local time. And women played a huge role
(12:38):
in the origins of Memorial Day, and perhaps obviously there's
been a long history of marking those who have died
in war. So this is pretty contained episode, but we
could go way way back for sure, and we are
going to go back to the Civil War. The country
was torn apart and some women looking for a way
(13:00):
to at least start the healing after years of brutal
and devastating conflict. One of the women leading to charge
on this was Ellen call Long, who helped establish the
first Memorial Day Associations, or the Women's Relief Society as
that was more likely called back then, in order to
honor those that had died in the war, they collected
(13:20):
flowers for what was called Decoration Day, and on this
day they also provided care for those disabled during the
Civil War, widows and children. Some stories go that this
whole thing was inspired after the women saw bear Union
soldiers graves in enemy territory in the South and took
it upon themselves to decorate them as well. Right once
(13:43):
the war ended in eighteen sixty five, call Long, along
with other women came together to form a Memorial Society
with the hope of mending some of the pay that
toured the US apart, and eventually this led to Memorial Day.
The federal government named Waterloo, New York, as a birthplace
of Memorial Day in nineteen sixty six, although several places
(14:04):
in the South also lay claim, and a few others
in the North. Twenty five cities altogether, and it became
a national holiday in nineteen seventy one, in part to
make a three day weekend for federal employees. The National
Moment of Remembrance was enacted in two thousand, which is
a lot later than I thought. So some records suggest
(14:25):
that one of the earliest Memorial Day celebrations was held
in Charleston, South Carolina by Freed formerly Inslaved people upwards
about ten thousand people in attendance. Yes, And and about
the kind of recency of the Moment of Remembrance, I
think that was because for a lot of US, Memorial
Day weekend has been lost, like the original meaning has
been lost, and it is like summertime in barbecue. So
(14:48):
this was a way of like trying to remind people
what it is about. Ellen call along is a complicated figure.
She lived in Florida from five to nineteen o five.
She was a plantation owner that profited off slave labor
and a unionist that may or may not have separated
from her husband due to conflicting views on secession, though
(15:09):
she did still provide support for the Confederacy by hosting
soldiers and providing aid to the wounded. So her husband
like moved to Texas and they never got divorced, but
they never lived together again, so okay. Also, she was
into silkworm cultivation and forestry, and in the eighteen eighties
she became the first woman officer of the Southern Forestry Congress.
(15:31):
She compiled and presented a paper about the benefits of
burning when it comes to forestry, fifty years before it
was adopted in the region as a standard. She represented
Florida at numerous exhibitions and events. She helped with historic
preservations like Mount Vernon. She turned down the postmaster position
in two and instead vocally supported black candidate William G. Stewart,
(15:53):
which made a lot of local white people really mad,
to the point that when her book Florida Breezes was
published the next year, these angry white people allegedly burned
and destroyed most of the copies to show their outrage.
They didn't like her views on reconciliation either, or her
opposition to slavery and secession, and her opinion that President
(16:15):
Lincoln was one of America's greatest presidents. This is not
to say she did not have problematic stances on rais,
because she most certainly did. She wrote of her concerns
that black people wouldn't be able to care for themselves
or their children after the Civil War um, and she
was concerned about the plantation economy without slavery too. Cal
wrote in her book about the Ladies Memorial Association, quote,
(16:37):
our purpose is purely religious, a labor of love, the
sacred care of the dead, to reclaim from oblivion and defamation,
the memory and graves of those who quote right or wrong,
stood by their country's cause. And no invidious spirit do
we come. The political storm that shook our country to
its foundation is past. War with its carnage is over,
(16:59):
and we are done with the cause. And though we
scarce discover the silver lining of the dark clouds which
have so long hung like a paul above us, we
believe that it will show itself and are willing to
do all that women can do to stem the tide
of bitterness and a stage they're angry feelings that naturally
at present exists between two sections of the country. Yeah,
(17:19):
and this note, of course, a lot of these groups
in the South were instrumental and still angry. I'll come
back to that. But in getting a Confederate Memorial Day
recognized as a holiday, and by the way, some states,
including our state, still observed it, although they call it
just state holiday. But it's the same day in April,
(17:41):
and I didn't know it existed until I worked at
the Department failed in any children's services, and they're like, yes,
Confederate Memorial Day, in which myself and a lot of
people of color just sat there and looked at each other,
going what right, what is this? And yeah, it's still
exists here, just as known as state holiday. Yep. In
(18:01):
the early days, Memorial Day or Decoration Day was observed
by decorating soldiers graves with flowers and flags and saying
prayers over their grave sites and businesses closed and observance
call along and the other women started these early decoration days.
But you just did a kind of superficial layer of googling.
MARYA John A. Logan, the leader of a group of
(18:21):
Civil War veterans, usually gets the credit for announcing that
May thirty should be a day for remembrance and adorning
soldiers graves of flowers in eighteen sixty eight, though he
himself often credited his wife, Mary Logan. The day was
chosen either because it commemorated at no particular battle and
or because it was when flowers were in full bloom.
(18:42):
The first official observance following this announcement of Logans took
place at Arlington National Cemetery. About five thousand people attended,
and small American flags were placed on the graves. The
day was observed across the country, and the Army and
Navy had protocols in place for out to mark the
day by the end of the nineteenth century. But call
(19:05):
on it was not the only woman involved in making
Memorial Day what it is today. And we'll get into that,
but first we're gonna pause for a crook break for
a word from her sponsor. Ammer back, thank you sponsored? Right. So,
(19:30):
after World War One came to a close, Memorial Day
was expanded to include soldiers who had died in All
American Wars. This is also when the tradition of wearing
a poppy originated, largely things in part to a woman
named Boina Michael. She was inspired by the poem in
flanders Field, which featured red poppies in the imagery. She
wrote her own poem, called that We Shall Keep the Fate,
(19:52):
and wore a red poppy to commemorate Memorial Day in
nineteen eighteen, urging others to do the same. She was
later featured on the three He Sent Stamp in the
US in nineteen forty eight as the founder of Memorial Poppy,
and she published an autobiography called The Miracle Flower, The
Story of the Flanders Filled Memorial Poppy in nineteen forty one.
Michael was an American professor. She worked at the University
(20:15):
of Georgia see then read that read makes a lot
more sense now. And she lived from eighteen sixty nine
ninety four. Her father had fought for the Confederacy and
her family owned a complantation. The outbreak of World War
One forced her to flee from Germany, where she was
spending her vacation. The journey took a tense sixteen days,
(20:37):
with concerns of enemy ships in the water, mines and submarines.
When Michael got back, she poured a lot of time
and effort into ways she could provide comforts for soldiers
waiting for deployment, including finding families to adopt them, basically
take care of them while they're waiting to be deployed,
and relief for those that had returned. She also was
very instrumental and evacuating tourists from Europe, and shevolunteered at
(21:00):
the National y m c A as a war worker
and this is when she got the idea for using
poppies as a symbol for remembrance. She described the inspiration
for the idea in her book like this. On Saturday
morning before Armistice, during the twenty five Conference of the
Overseas y m c A War Secretaries, November nine, a
young soldier, the son of A. G. Nevell, New York City,
(21:23):
Executive Secretary to the War Personnel Board of National War
Workers Council, the governing board for ose Staff and y
m c A Secretaries for Overseas, placed a copy of
the November Ladies Home Journal on my desk at headquarters
about ten thirty o'clock when everyone was on duty elsewhere.
I found time to read it and discovered the mark
page which carried Colonel John mccraye's poem we Shall Not Sleep,
(21:44):
later named in Flanders Fields. It was vividly picturized, most
strikingly illustrated in color. I read the poem, which I
have read many times previously and studies is graphic picturization.
The last verse transfixed me. To you, from failing hands,
we throw the torch be yours to hold it high.
If you break faith with us who die, we shall
(22:04):
not sleep. Though poppies grow in Flanders fields. That was
for me a full spiritual experience. It seemed as though
the silent voices again were vocal whispering in size of
anxiety onto anguish to you, from failing hands, we throw
the torch, be yours to hold it high. If you
break faith with us who die, we shall not sleep.
So poppies grow in Flanders fields. Alone again, in a
(22:27):
high moment of white resolve, I pledged to keep the
faith and always wear a red poppy of Flanders Fields
as a sign of remembrance and the emblem of keeping
the faith with all who died in hectic times, as
were those times, great emotional impacts may be obliterated by
succeeding greater ones. So I felt impelled to make a
note of my pledge. I reached for a used yellow envelope,
(22:48):
turned the blank side up, and hastily scrippled my pledge
to keep the faith with all who died. So she
told people she would wear red poppies in remembrance and
went out in New York City looking for them. She
parked twenty five and War one on her lapel, handing
out the others. She wrote that she wore hers until
her return home in February, and she was determined in
her efforts to make wearing poppies on Memorial Day a thing,
(23:11):
including a national letter writing campaign and a public facing
leader of flanders Field Red Poppy Movement, to the point
that people called her the Poppy Lady, which there's a
whole other indication to that, but whatever, She sold poppies
and used the funds for injured or deceased soldiers. In
nineteen twenty, the American Legion named the poppy as their
official flower, and in nineteen four they started distributing poppies
(23:35):
as a national program. World War One veterans Organizations around
the world adopted the practice, including Canada, Australia, the UK,
and New Zealand. Dating back to the nineteen twenties and
to this day, red poppies are worn on Remembrance Day
and Veterans Day. Selling poppies has raised billions of dollars.
According to her great nephew, Michael helped raise three billion
(23:55):
dollars during her lifetime alone, accounting for inflation. The distribution
of three point five American Legion auxiliary poppies raised two
point one million dollars for American veterans in sixteen, and
the British Royal Legion distributes up to forty five million
poppies a year, raising around sixty four million dollars for
retired or injured soldiers. So when the war came to
(24:16):
an end, Michael taught a class for disabled service members
and attended weekly meetings of the local Chapter of Disabled
American Veterans. She planted poppies on UGA's campus, and in
Michael's hometown of Good Hope. There's a road named after her,
a historical marker, and an annual poppy fest. She was
also inducted into the Georgia Women of achievement in nineteen nine. Yeah,
(24:38):
and if anyone is curious, uh, surprisingly enough, over on
the other podcasting Saber, which is about food, we did
an episode on poppies and we talked about this poem,
the original poem in flanders Field and why poppies were used.
And poppies are really brightly colored and pretty and red
(25:00):
these mass grave sites. During wars, they would sprout up
on on the mass grave sites, so that is at
least part of the reason that they were chosen. We
do have a little bit more for you listeners, but
first we have one worker break for word from our
sponsors and we're back. Thank you sponsoring. We just wanted
(25:30):
to touch on a few things as we close up here,
uh this Memorial Day weekend. As we're recording it, you
could be listening to it whenever, because yeah, modernly, there
are still so many issues with the military and in
this context, especially when it comes to women, sexual assault,
and the l g B t Q plus community. One
of the biggest moments for women's serving in the U. S.
(25:51):
Army was the Women's Armed Services Act of nine. Still today,
women make up only about six of US military forces.
The numbers are much lower when it comes to leadership roles.
The first woman to be named as a four star
general general and Dunwoodie of the U. S Army earned
the title in two thousand and eight. So very recently,
(26:14):
openly gay members of the lgbt Q plus community were
allowed to serve, beginning in twenty eleven with the lifting
of a ban on transgender folks in one which we've
talked about. The ban explicitly prohibiting gay and lesbian people
was enacted in nineteen eighty two. Before that they would
be just charged or I believe criminally it was a
criminal offense, so it could be. And don't ask, don't
(26:36):
tell was enacted in nineteen ninety three. Spousal benefits were
granted to LGBTQ plus military members. Uh in right, and
there are plenty of first when it comes to marginalized
folks serving in the US military. We talked about day
Williams in our Female First series with Ease, for example,
um and history is full of fierce warriors, plenty of
(26:58):
whom we've talked about. At the same time, women and
members of the l g bt Q plus community have
long been serving the military, whether officially or not, or
in the capacity of nurses, scientists, operators keeping the country
and running in all kinds of ways, and many of
their contributions unrecognized or refused to be recognized yet. And
obviously it's been a big point of contention in the
(27:21):
last six years about what's been happening. And yes, with
a new administration, with the band being lifted for the
trans community be able to serve, and the fact that
it's still a conversation is really sad to me and
I can't I can't get over that. But yeah, and
then just the ugly history of how women and marginalized
communities are treated within those fields as well, and why,
(27:43):
for some reason we still have to talk about the
I guess, the overall lack of care for after services
and how little is being done and how little money
is being invested for that, as well as who can
act says it. So lots of big things that we
could talk about here and we need to talk about soon,
(28:05):
but not necessarily from a moyal day, I guess. Yeah, Yeah,
I just felt like that was good to touch on
that because there are a lot of complicated issues around
pretty much everything we talked about, but certainly the military
and certainly in this case the US military, And that's
a good point about the aftercare and the lack thereof
(28:26):
veterans often don't I guess, don't receive and that is
these women we've talked about, all these women's groups, that's
what their focus was was, you know, the the veterans
and the children left behind or the widows left behind.
So they were trying to fill that space and that's
a part of why we have Memorial Day today. And
(28:49):
then of course there's recently been the whole hubbub around
dead crews, and they woke emasculated military, as he called
it in the US after a US commercial followed a
woman soldier. He compared it to Russian commercial for their military.
And I think that's very telling right there. Right I
(29:13):
was gonna say that seems a little bit on the nose.
It does. It does. And I know we've talked about
this before, but I grew up in a military town.
Is one of the biggest military colleges in Southeast I
think we had like an r OTC program, and I
know I talked about it, but I people try to
recruit me into the military, and that was a selling point.
(29:33):
Was pretty much this brewery culture. But they were selling
it to me and like, you're gonna have all the
pics of hot dudes that you want And I was fifteen, right,
huh okay, that is that is not a selling point. Yeah,
I don't know about that. Well. Listeners, we hope that
whatever you're doing or not doing that you're doing well,
(29:56):
and um, let us know. Let us know if you're
experiencing reintriue anxiety or if you have any other topics
around the military you would like us to discuss, because
we know there is so much to unpack there and
you can send any of those suggestions are way our emails,
Stuff Medium, mom Stuff at iHeart media dot com. You
(30:17):
can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast or
on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told to You. Thanks
It's always start a super producer, Christina. Thank you, Christina,
and thanks to you for listening Stuff I've Never Told
You the protection of I Heart Radio. For more podcast
on I heart Radio, you can listen to the I
heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
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Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.