Animalia Stupendium: Portuguese Man o’ War

Bored with dragons, the wizard Argomandanies turns his arcane attention to the fantastic fauna of the natural world. Welcome to Animalia Stupendium, a chronicle of Earth’s amazing biodiversity with all the enthusiasm of a fantasy monster book. In this episode, the wizard will discuss the Portuguese Man o’ War!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Stuff to Blow your mind, a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to Animalia Stupendium. My name is Argomandanes, newly crowned
member of the ruling Thomaturgic Triumvirate, slayer of the Gray
Dread and tireless creature chronicler. However, mere monsters hold no

(00:31):
mystery for me. These days. Dragons our drab, even the
gray Dread proved rather underwhelming if I'm being honest. So
instead I turn my attention once more to the strange
fauna of a land called Earth. Travel with me, gentle reader,
as we consider the Portuguese man o.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
War common name Portuguese man o' war scientific name Isalea phisolus.
Frequency in range tropical and subtropical oceans around the world,
with some forays into temperate regions. Size float may reach
heights of six inches or fifteen centimeters, tentacles as long
as one hundred and sixty five feet or fifty meters.

(01:16):
Diet small fishes, plankton, and crustaceans. Treasure hord nematsis venom
challenge rating three.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
The naming of terrestrial organisms often confuses wizards, such as myself.
The Portuguese Man of War is neither distinctly from Portugal,
a nation of the earth realm, nor is it a man.
Needless to say, it does not engage in war either. No,
it merely earned this name due to its resemblance to

(01:46):
sail powered Portuguese warships, though it is known by many
other names among the peoples who encountered its sting, including
ah the floating Terror. But allow me to describe the
creature itself. Above the water line, we see a large
blatter filled with such gases as carbon monoxide, oxygen, nitrogen,

(02:11):
and argon. It appears translucent, very splendid, with rare shades
of blue, purple, and pink, inviting to think again, because
beneath the water line, the organism trails a long flail
of stinging tentacles venomous damage. Yes, the tentacles. Boast Neumaticists

(02:37):
specialize stinging cells that administer a potent venom that paralyzes
small prey. Even human beings will experience intense pain from
the manner War's sting, and more severe symptoms are possible,
but of course we are not on the menu. Once
it is paralyzed, the small prey in thereby its tentacles

(03:01):
it deploys its specialized digestive gastrozooids, which spread over the
praise body and digested enzyme damage. Now I come to
one of the more remarkable facts concerning the Portuguese man
o War. For starters, the creature is not a sea jelly.

(03:26):
It is a sciphonophar, and as such is a colonial
organism made up of genetically identical but highly specialized polyps.
Consider what you might mistake for a single organism's reproductive system,
a digestive system, grasping arms, and a flotation bladder are

(03:50):
in fact individual zooids. Each zooid is a multi cellular
animal unto itself that exist as part of a colonial whole,
each compromising unessential system of that whole. The gas filled
blatter is the nomatophor, the venom laced tentacles are made

(04:13):
up of tenacular paupons, the feeding polyps are gastrozoids, and
the compound reproductive structure is the gonodendron, composed of multiple
reproductive zooids. Again, each zooid in a single man o
war is genetically identical, essentially clones that carry out different functions,

(04:39):
which allow the man o' war to function as one
to compare this to my own mundane world of sorcery,
consider the legendary warrior who stole a magic cauldron from
a dragon's layer. He climbed inside the quadron, and two
of him emerged, identical to each other. Knowing that the

(05:01):
foul dragon would soon come for him with talon and flame,
our warrior or now warriors, formed an idea. The two
identical warriors climbed inside the cauldron, and four of them emerg'd.
Soon there were eight, sixteen, a whole squad of warrior clones.
But alas they realized, they still had no chance against

(05:23):
a dragon. And that's when a certain wizard advised them
of a few particular spells to transform each of these
clones into an essential organ, limb, or tissue of a
greater whole. And thus, following a frenzied hour of transmutation,
each warrior clone became an oversized part, a hand here,

(05:48):
a liver there, and finally, a single giant warrior rose
up to face the coming wrath of the dragon. Consider
it a rough analogy for the colonial organism that is,
the Portuguese man of war. Or perhaps consider the idea
of three goblins and a cloak on each other's shoulders,
posing as a cleric. Anyway, back to the Portuguese man

(06:11):
of War reproductively, each colonial individual is either male or
female and reproduces via broad gas spawning females release eggs
in the fall, and the males release sperm. Fertilization then
happens at the water's surface, the same transitional realm that

(06:32):
the adults call their home. While the creatures are most
common to tropical and subtropical oceanic waters, they are not
free swimming. They float where the current and the wind
takes them, which sometimes means far more temperate waters. Plus,
as Earth's oceans warm, their range only expands, and the

(06:56):
Portuguese man or War makes its home in waters previously
too cold for their way of life. Now there are
more mysteries concerning the man o War to consider, But
for now I must retire my wizard's quill and allow
my familiars some respite. But I shall return with even

(07:19):
more wonders of the natural world.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Hi, this is Robert Lamb. Thanks again to the wizard
Augo Mandanese for joining us in this episode. Sources for
this episode included what is the Portuguese Man of War
by the National Ocean Service Oceania. International Morphology and Development
of the Portuguese Man of War by Salia Fislis by
Monroe at All Scientific Reports, twenty nineteen. They're here Portuguese

(07:49):
Man of War by Sarah Treynor Boyce Yesterday's Island, Today's
Nantucket twenty twenty four and Portuguese Man o War by
Salia Feisalus venom induces I See an Influx into Cells
by Permeabilizing plasma Membranes by Edwards and Hessinger Toxicon two thousand.
Thanks as always to the excellent JJ Possway for producing

(08:10):
this episode. If you want to contact Argomandanes with recommendations
for future episodes, you can send them to us at
contact at stuff to Blow Your Mind dot com.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Stuff to Blow Your Mind is production of iHeartRadio. For
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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.