The Monstrefact: Auto-Ghouls of Groombridge Station

In this episode of STBYM’s The Monstrefact, Robert discusses the curious brain-consuming anomalies found in the Groombridge system… 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Stuff to Blow Your Mind, a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hi, my name is Robert Lamman. This is the Monster Fact,
a short form series from Stuff to Blow Your Mind,
focusing in on mythical creatures, ideas and monsters in time.
This entry will offer few surprises to Interstellar listeners of

(00:29):
the fourth millennium. They're likely all too familiar with the
so called autogouls of Groombridge Station. But for historic listeners,
say from the twenty first century, we shall now unpack
this monstrous horror, and fair warning, there's some gross brain
stuff in this one, along with a little science. We'll

(00:49):
skip the details of planetary colonization and Interstellar's civilization for
the moment and just get to the grizzly bits. Conflict
between Megas Days takes multiple forms, from official sporting events
like hyper Accelerator Ball to acts of espionage and assassination.

(01:10):
As attacks on actual infrastructure are universally banned and considered heretical,
the so called plague weapons represent the worst case scenario
in these conflicts, bioweapons designed to impact a station's population center.
Some plague weapons have more in common with traditional illnesses,

(01:30):
but others are designed to spread terror and fear. This
was seemingly the intent regarding what would come to be
known as the auto ghoule plague, an attempt it seems
to create a viral zombie infection that inspires an intense
hunger for human brains, as with the zombie seen in
popular Earth cinemas. The plague didn't work quite as well

(01:54):
as advertised or intended. However, while it inspired an intense
hunger for brain matter in an infected individual, the hunger
turned inward. Instead of becoming cannibals, they became auto cannibals
or autoghoules, and turned their hunger on their own gray matter.
The plague hit differently depending on personality types. Some autogoules

(02:16):
tucked into their own brains as quickly as possible and
with whatever tools were readily available, be it a can
opener or a Class five plasma cutter. Other individuals took
a more thoughtful approach to the endeavor and took their time.
Either way brutal and sloppy or surgical and downright culinary,
the results were always the same. There's only so much

(02:39):
of your own brain you can consume before you cease
to consume anything at all. On Earth. However, we do
have at least a couple of creatures that, in one
way or another do consume their own brains. As pointed
out by Christopher Vaughn on Stanford Medicine's Scope blog in
twenty twenty two, the star tunicate or C squirt is

(03:00):
our closest evolutionary relative among marine invertebrates. It begins life
as a creature about the size of a tadpole with
two brains. It's free swimming at this point, but eventually
it finds a nice place to settle down on a
rock among other members of its kind. And at this
point it settles into sedentary life. And as one of

(03:24):
its two brains was devoted to sea navigation, well there's
no reason to keep that second brain around. This brain
dissolves and is reabsorbed by the sea squirtz body. Gross maybe,
but as Vaughan points out, the creature is of great
interest to neuroscientists, as the genes associated with neurodegeneration and

(03:45):
sea squirts are closely associated with human genes involved in
neuro degeneration. The other creature of notice the common shrew,
as Dino Grendoni discusses in a twenty twenty two Animalia
column for The Washington Post. The shrew is too tiny
to migrate and too hyper to hibernate during the winter,

(04:05):
so it downgrades its own brain size, essentially consuming as
much as a fourth of its own brain mass, and
then it regrows it in the spring. As the author discusses,
experiments reveal that shrew's do trade off problem solving abilities
for lower energy expenditures during this period of time. Remember,

(04:26):
brain power requires a lot of energy, as with the
s squirt. The hope here is that further study will
reveal new treatments for neurodegenerative diseases in human beings. Now,
to come back to the Autogoule plague of the fourth millennium,
we can't blame it entirely on human plague makers. It's
possible that ancient pathogens local to the Groombridge system played

(04:49):
a role in the weapons corruption. Alien hieroglyphics and hollow
steels tell of a species unnamed by the chroniclers, vaguely
humanoid beings who, when threatened, violently ejected their own brain
out through their face as a projectile against aggressors. This
act was no doubt shocking, distracting, and perhaps even blinding.

(05:11):
We have no idea if it was like being hit
with a brain boxing glove or a brain water balloon.
Either way, even as the brain was mid flight, the
creature was already rapidly regenerating its neural matter, allowing it
to continue functioning and even launch a follow up projectile
brain attack with another fully developed brain. Alien records are faint,

(05:33):
but seem to describe a rapid fire ability to suggests
a neural regeneration rate far beyond anything we see on Earth.
The brain launchers of Groombridge System thus raise even more
questions about the autogules of Groombridge Station, but answers are
far from forthcoming. Tune in for additional episodes of The

(05:56):
Monster Fact each week. As always, you can email us
at contact that's Stuff to Blow Your Mind dot com.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
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