Home, Pt. 1

What does home mean to you? Is it a place, is it people? This week, we hear stories of home from participants and explore how the idea of home can change with time.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, Kathleen, what do you think of when I say
the word home? So immediately when you say the word home,
I think of Atlanta because I was born and raised here.
But now as I've gotten older, I think my sense
of home has evolved and I've left that comfort of
my physical home I grew up in, and I had

(00:21):
to create new homes and new places. So now it's
becoming a little bit more of the community and the
people I surround myself with. It's kind of sound lame,
but with my fiance spending time with him wherever we are,
he kind of feels like home, which is a nice
feeling to have with someone else. And I think just
as we get older, that definition starts to change. Then

(00:43):
what do you think of when I say home? My
question is really tough. I think it's tougher now than
it's ever been. Um. I may have alluded to it
on the show, but it's been a tough here because
you know, I I lost my mom and that meant
that I don't have the same kind of home to

(01:04):
go back to as I always thought I did, and
the physical house is gone. So right now my idea
of home is evolving as well, and I do suppose
it is wherever my friends and my family are and
where my partner is. So it's not one centralized place

(01:25):
as much as it is anywhere there's someone that I
love and the city of ataliance. It definitely feels like
I'm on a regular basis. I feel very comfortable here,
and I'm thankful to have a place like this. Yeah,
no wonder so many people keep moving here. M So
over the past few months, we've found that home means

(01:47):
so many different things to people who come into our booth.
Came up in our episode about feeling lost, and it
came up again in our discussion around feeling different. This
left us wanting to know more about the idea of
home and all of it's different meanings. So this week
we're honing in on the question what does home mean
to you? M hm hm. Welcome to the Question Booth.

(02:12):
My name is still un Fagan and I'm Kathleen Willian.
The Question Booth is a place here in Atlanta where
strangers can come in each week and have a one
on one conversation about a big question. We share some
of their interviews and find a pattern in their answers,
and this week the pattern was all about feeling comfortable
and having a safe space that you can return to,

(02:33):
even if it's not a physical place. That's interesting because
that's kind of what we were just talking about. Yeah, exactly.
So let's start off this episode with brother and sister,
Benjamin and Caitlin. You say home is where the heart is. Well,
I was going to say, I feel like the stereotypical
answer comes to mind, like you said where, Yeah, home

(02:53):
is are the heart is, But I think it's wherever
the people you love most are. Yeah, whoever you're with
that can be home deaf really, I mean that's saying
something for a reason. You know, You're right, it's pretty
spot on. Yeah, that people can make a place your home.
I think it's definitely a place of familiarity. Um, you know,
somewhere you could be yourself, not you know, not any

(03:16):
fear or anything like that, which, uh, you know it
changes over time, but you know you have different homes
as well. So yeah, that's just interesting to see the
evolution of it. Yeah, have you guys moved around from
different homes or like new places or um, I mean
we've lived in George our whole lives. Um, but the
first time, you know, we didn't live together was when

(03:38):
I went to college, and now he's in college and
I'm in Atlanta, So I feel like that's that's been
the only time that we've really experienced like a move
when we weren't together. So yeah, so I'm of it
at the University of Georgia and Athens and uh, yeah,
just seeing over the last few years, how you know,
it takes a lot of time to make a new

(03:59):
home and uh, there's different relationships that you form with people.
You know, home is home is always Fayable Georgia on
the South Side, but you know, it's it's really interesting
kindo's relationships that you make, Like you know, at first
you may not see that being a comfortable place, but
it becomes that just out of nature. So yeah, yeah,
I would agree. Yeah, it takes a little bit to

(04:20):
like build up that community to make it feel like home,
if you can describe it. It's kind of hard. Um,
what kind of emotions wash over you when you feel
at home? Like how do you feel? Mm hmmm, I
would say love and comfort and happiness, Yeah, kind of
un happiness kind of goes along with joy, but just

(04:41):
feeling comfortable enough to you know, be able to be
happy and have joined whatever since and then just feeling
surrounded by love. Yeah, I would say with that too,
is is a sense of freedom in the way that
you know, freedom to to kick your feet off and
do what you've always done, but also to kind of
try those new things, which can be tough when you're around, um,

(05:02):
you know, people that know you super well, because on
one hand you would say like, oh, man, like I
just kinda want to stick to my old guns here,
but those people typically will also support you in any
new things. So for sure freedom for me. Yeah, and
kind of that the feeling of acceptance I feel it
kind of goes along with freedom too. Yeah, any other
thoughts about home? Everybody everybody's got at home, you know.

(05:25):
I think a lot of people forget that sometimes you
just gotta go back to that whatever it is you know,
you just you gotta find that and also know in
transition that you know you will get to that place again.
But just kind of that whole just count your blessings,
know you're know your familiar spots, know those people, and
and uh it's howly we need to be reminded of sometimes, Yeah,
and know that that home can be you know, like

(05:47):
we said, what home means to us, it can be
wherever you make it and however you make it. Like
everyone has roots, but that doesn't you know, that doesn't
mean you can't have more than one home either. I
don't know about you, Dylan, but I can definitely relate
to that transition in college or even moving to a
new place where you have to build a new sense
of community and friends and relationship and really work hard

(06:09):
to make this new foreign place feel like home. I mean,
it took a while, but it's funny now because I
just yearned to go back to my college town and
I feel like it's my second home. I came to
Atlanta for college, and it definitely took a while. I
remember feeling very lonely my first year, but slowly but surely,

(06:32):
you meet people, you find new interests, you learn your
way around town, and it feels as natural as the
back of your hand. Yeah, it's kind of liberating because
I think it's the first time that you've created your
own home and your own roots without family or familiarity. Usually,
even if you don't go to college or you move

(06:52):
away for the first time, I mean, you're just thrown
out there. And have to figure it out. You do,
and you realize that there was so many things that
you thought crown ups had always known. And you realize
that just because you're older doesn't mean that everything's going
to come naturally. But eventually you can replace the warm

(07:12):
comforter of home with a new patchwork quilt that you created.
Oh my gosh. Okay, let's hear from friends who are
constantly having to create a new home. Here's Andrea and Jenny.
I have lived in a lot of places. Um, I
live overseas a lot, I travel a lot. For the

(07:33):
last five to ten years, I've every year I live
somewhere else. So to me, home is not really a
physical place anymore. It's just like I bring little souvenirs
with me to remind me of home. So I have
this sounds really funny, but I've got a muppet that
she's well aware of that I've had since I was five,

(07:54):
So for thirty one years already, I've had this muppet.
Um it's Ernie from Sentenme Street and he's adorable. And um,
I always tell people like, where Ernie is is where
home is, because you know, he's like the reminder of
home and all nice things. And I mean he's quite big.
He's two foot seven or so, so he's he's not

(08:17):
like travel for friendly or anything. So I don't always
bring him around. Plus m I have this irrational fear
that you know, like a water pipe will break and
then he'll get drowned and I won't be there to
rescue him or something. So I usually leave him at
home with my parents to take care of. Yeah, and
then when I talked to them on Skype, then they'll like,
bring Earnie him. Yeah. So yeah, oh my gosh, how

(08:39):
did you get Ernie like this two foot um? So
a long long time ago in Atlanta and like the eighties,
um there was a store called Great America or something like. Yeah,
so you know, it's like a precursor to Costco. So
they had their grant opening on July four, inn and

(09:01):
we walked in and it was his large pile of
Ernie Dolf just like well, they all had like rockets
to their back because it was July four, like these
cardboard like rockets, and I was like it was love
at first sight. I was like, I have to have him.
And he has been like kind of my first doll,
like big doll really, and I've had him throughout all

(09:22):
these years, and we've moved and lived in different places.
And when I graduated college, even my parents drove up
to Syracuse and brought Ernie along. I have a similar
I spend a lot of time abroad. I haven't lived
anywhere consistently for a long time. So when I think
of home, you know, this sounds very sad, but it's not.

(09:43):
I don't think of anything like it's like a house,
like you think of like how a child draws a
home and you go, oh, that's a home, but like
home itself, like the concept of home, it is definitely
very fluid for me because you could be at home
and a coffee shop. You can feel at home anywhere
where you feel comfortable. So yeah, I don't think. I
don't think that I have a concept of home. Is

(10:05):
that it sounds sad, but it's actually very free because
I can be at home wherever I go. Sometimes thinking
past or really concrete idea can be free, and home
is one of the most concrete concepts of all to me,
at least until recently. I like the concept of home
being anywhere that you feel comfortable, and that really connects
back to our interview with Victoria Price from a couple

(10:27):
of months ago. The definition of joy, I like best
is the pure and simple delight in being alive. And
for me, that's what home is. When I'm in my
heart filled with joy, I feel this delight in being alive,
which automatically connects me to the environment and to the
animals and to other people. Then I'm home wherever I am.

(10:48):
So far, we've heard about home being a place to
build and also nowhere at all. But after the break
we'll hear about home being a whole city. We'll be
right back. Mm hmmm hm. And we're back, and here's

(11:26):
Christian and Layla and the question booth, what does home
mean to me? Home to me is a safe space
because I feel like I can find home in many places,
because when someone says home to me, there's not one
specific place that I think of, even though you know,
I do live in a house, but that's my home.

(11:47):
But also, like I've said, spaces around Atlanta that I
can go to, like if I ever need something. I'm
just very comfortable with the people and I know that
they have my well being at heart, and I know
they're there to support me. And also It also insides
because I'm I'm an artist, so it coincides with like

(12:09):
my art, like wherever my art is, wherever I can
make my art safely, that's a place that is home
for me. I don't think home is like a tangible
thing like when people say home, I think they think
of like a building or like a rooftop or something.
But I think home is more of what makes you
comfortable and the people that you surround yourself with and

(12:31):
what you associate when you're out of Georgia or wherever
you're from and you think of home, I think you
think of the people, and I think that's home, like
your friends, your close ones, yea, your loved ones. Yeah,
because Chris said you think of usually you know, a building.
You could be at the place where you live, your house,

(12:51):
and it could not feel like home to you. You
can feel like Yeah. I also think you can be
alone and feel at home, like even if you live alone,
if you're comfortable with yourself because a lot of people,
which is totally not wrong. I'm not saying you're wrong
if you're not comfortable being alone, because it's very hard. Yeah,
it takes time. It takes time to be comfortable with
your with yourself. Um. But a lot of people don't

(13:14):
take time to spend time with theirselves and get to
know themselves because you're so like you have to produce
for duce, for duce for duce, like and that's just
what you have to do, you know, and you have
to just keep going and push through everything, like if
you're going through a hard time or anything, and so
you can't really take a second and like self evaluate
and hell all the time because you don't have time

(13:36):
to because you have so much to do. So I
think home can be within yourself too. Atlanta is a
pretty cool place for artists. There's a really vibrant scene
here and everywhere you look there's a beautiful mural. They're
beautiful murals just outside our office. And the further you
walk down the Atlanta belt Line, the more that you're
going to see. I'm glad that people can feel home

(13:58):
inside of an arts community here, which is something that
Barry Lee talked about in our episode focused around feeling
different in time. What that taught me was that home
is in the relationship that you gain and and the
people that really accept you for you. Um, they don't
just talk to you about your disability or or your

(14:18):
looks every day. They're just people that you know want
has spend time with you. And for me, home is
within people. Okay, So why don't we hear another interview?
Here's Dejia and Nina. So today's question is what does
home mean to you? A place where like all your

(14:41):
family is not really like a place is just wherever families,
you know, not like physical place. Yeah, so you don't
see home is physical with the people you love. Yeah? Um, yeah,
I agree with her. It's about you know where your
family and love is. You know where you feel most
comfort your bone definitely, And is that with your family?

(15:03):
Do you feel that a lot like is that home
to you as well? Or well? Yeah, with my close family,
with my children, my other family, that's you know, that's
something different. They don't make me feel like home. But
you've created your own home. Yes, I have. So when
I enter, when we enter our home, we feel so

(15:24):
like at peace, and that's how I think everything should be. Yeah. Um,
have you lived in the same place or a physical home?
You're I mean moved around. I mean, but in the
last three years we've been in the same place. Yeah,
but I'm sure, you know how I mean, you understand
how important that feeling of home is with just being

(15:46):
around people that you love, especially if you've moved around. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's so important. Yeah, but I think people get so
attached to like a place. Yeah, like I'm never leaving here,
like so much more to explore. Well, how she makes
it seems like every place, like if we move to,
she'll make it seem like, you know, like it's homey,

(16:07):
you know, not like yeah, so every place we go
there's like home, you know, because that's how my mom
makes it. We'll have more question booth after another quick break.

(16:28):
M hm, and we're back. Thanks for joining us. So
we have a couple more conversations to share from the
booth about the meaning of home. Here's Meg. That's a
really weird one for me because I've never had a
place that I actually felt like home. Um. The closest

(16:53):
thing I get is anywhere I have my cat. Yeah,
I feel like that's a that's a lot of people
feel that way with their pet. Yeah. Um, someplace where
I have my cat and I don't feel like I
don't along there. I think it's interesting that people have

(17:14):
come in and they said that home hasn't been a
physical place for them, It's been a feeling or a
person or pet that can make you feel safe and
at home with yourself. Yeah. For for me, that place
was my grandparents house, and it was weird because after

(17:37):
I graduated college, Um, I found out my grandparents house
had just been left abandoned with the utilities on for
two years because no one wanted to deal with it.
Oh my gosh. So I stole the key and moved
down and um that was my home for a couple
of years, where even though it fell, it's strange because

(18:01):
there are all these tiny things of like all of
my famili's heights on the door, my grandmother's son catchers.
There's one bathroom that still had like a fish mobile,
a mobile made of fish hanging from it. Just a
little stupid things like that, and that kind of felt

(18:21):
like home. And then I slowly got pushed out of
there where my roommates are like, we're taking over this
entire house and I'm like, no, that's not okay. And
then I lost the house because of that, So I'm
so sorry. It's it's okay. It's just one of those
weird things where like I know I can't trust places

(18:47):
or people, but I can't trust myself. Am I stupid cat?
I can relate to the pet thing. I know that
wherever there's a dog, I'm home. It doesn't matter if
I see a dog on the street or if I'm
at a friend's house. If I get to pet that dog,
I feel pretty at home. And I miss my parents

(19:09):
dogs all the time. They're on my phone lock screen,
so I see them dozens of times throughout the day.
It's like a little slice at home. Why don't we
end this week with a younger perspective on what home means.
Here's Sydney and Riley. Home is usually a place where
I can relax, whether it's in Michigan, where I was born,

(19:30):
or in Georgia, where I've been for a really long time.
So it's just a place I can rest and talk
to friends and family, and I feel like you can
just be you. Yeah, and just like I take a breath.
Home is like a place where you can go whenever
you want. It's a place where nobody's going to judge you.
You can be yourself. You can you don't have to

(19:53):
worry about other people. You just have to worry about
like it's just a place you can whenever you're in
need or you need to go somewhere, you can just
go home. Well, home is where you make a lot
of memories. And I like the memories that make with
my sister because whenever we're at home, when we're just
playing together, I just think you can make really nice

(20:14):
memories because we'll like play cards together, or we'll just
have nice conversations, will look at funny things. We wanted
to talk about home this week because it's a very
important concept right now. I mean, the idea of home
at its core is essential, but right now it's something
that's coming up each day in the news and what

(20:34):
it means to have a home, or to find a
better home, or to not know where your home will be.
It's something that we feel is really important to explore
right now. Yes, definitely, And next week we'll be speaking
with Aaron Bernhardt. She's the co director and producer of
a new documentary Clarkston, which focuses on the most diverse
square mile in America. Clarkson, Georgia is home to people

(20:57):
from over one hundred and fifty different ethnic cities, many
of whom are refugees. We are looking forward to hearing
about this amazing work. Mm hm m hm. Hey, let

(21:30):
us know what you think. Tell us what home means
to you. We love hearing from you. You can email
us at the Question Booth at House to forks dot com.
We're the Question Booths on Instagram and Question Underscore Booth
on Twitter. Kathleen and I write the script, I do
the music, and we produced the show together. Yes and
special thanks to executive producer Julie Douglas. To Pont City

(21:51):
Market for hosting the Question Booth, and to you are
participants and listeners. You can visit the booth here in
Atlanta at Pont City Market pulp of five pm Friday
through Sunday. We'll have more on Home next week, but
until then, see you in the Question Booth. M