February 9, 2025 • 14 mins
Guest host Connie Willis and former mortician Stanley Swan discuss the human body after death.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Now here's a highlight from coast to coast am on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
When pets have other little friendly pets with them, right,
if you have like three or four animals, it doesn't
even matter if it's cattle, horses, whatever that you have.
If one of them passes, please let the other animals
see their buddy that also pass Let them know what happened.
Because when the animal is just gone one day, they're
(00:28):
constantly looking where's the animalre's the animal, where's my friend,
where's my buddy? They understand death, and let them see
that their buddy has passed, let them say goodbye, let
them know so that they can grieve as well, and
then move on to instead of looking constantly. And I
think that's got to be the same a lot of people.
(00:48):
Even though we can understand, okay, Aunt Lulu pass away
and we live we're in Antarctica and we won't be
able to get back, so you know, we do know this,
and they can, you know, kind of move on and
then later come back and go to the grave side
or wherever. Right, But so we can kind of handle
it a little better. But if we get a chance
(01:08):
to see that person, that's got to be a big difference.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
It makes a huge difference. Knni and everything you said,
it's exactly correct. When someone passes away, immediate family, whatever,
and they need to see the person deceased, whatever that takes,
if it's possible logistically because of distance and violence. Sometimes
it's difficult. Coast to coast or mid mid country to
(01:37):
the east coast or west coast. It's difficult. But in
order to accept the person's death, you really need to
see the person deceased, and that's that's hard for a
lot of people. But if you don't see the person deceased,
it's like the dog scenario you just laid out there.
They're constantly it's hard for them to accept that. Well,
(01:57):
Aunt Ruth actually passed away, but you know, we didn't
get a chance to see her. I wish we could
have seen her. So make every attempt in your family
when someone passes away to have everyone come inted to
see the person at the funeral home. And that can
be accomplished. The funeral director could make that happen. Whether
the person is embalmed or not embombed. They can see
(02:19):
the body unembombed. There are ways that it can be
done without significantly bothering the person mentally by seeing a
body unembalmed. There can be seen embalmed or not embombed,
but it's important to see the person passed away and
then you can move on with your life. So it's important.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, what now will you keep saying embalmed or not embalmed?
What will the difference look like?
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Well, the whole embombing process. We could spend three hours
on that, but we won't put in Unimbalmbed bodies can
be shown to a family. A funeral director will put
them on a on a viewing table, cover them up
with a sheet, maybe do a little light makeup because
the person's going to lose its palor it's going to
(03:09):
lose its color as the hours go by, and the
funeral director usually wants someone to see the body within
a few hours of death, before before the person is
either taken to the crematory or buried immediately. So, uh,
there's a time factor there, but within a few hours
it can be done.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
But is there like because you had said you can
see him bomb or in ball, is there some sort
of big difference or it's just it.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Oh? Yeah, the emboming process is so so so good. Today,
there are many, many different types of fluids that a
funeral director will use to actually put the color back
into the circular.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
So if a.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Farmer passes away, he's used to being out into the
field with the sunbeat down on him, and he's got
a dark tan. There are fluids that can actually make
that person look like they did when they were alive.
The embalming process is so good in the last ten, twelve,
fifteen years. It's incredible how you can give that person
the same look as they had when they were alive.
(04:16):
It's outstanding.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Oh my, well, how has the funeral business changed along
the way or has it?
Speaker 3 (04:26):
It's changed to the fact that where society is today,
we're so busy. People don't A lot of people do
not want to take the time to spend two, three,
four days to celebrate a person's death over their life.
They want to move on and little or no time off.
Like we used to have funerals who used to take three,
(04:48):
four or five days. If you diet on the Monday,
your funeral may not be until Thursday or Friday. That's
just not the way it is today. Very few people
want to do that. You look at the obituaries listed newspapers.
Now if people actually some people don't even run in an
obituary anymore. It usually says service will be held at
(05:09):
a later day as announced by the family. You'll see
that a lot. Now there's no calling. A lot of
people don't have calling hours for the decease. They might
not have a formal, formal funeral service. I find that's
kind of sad. I think we have to celebrate everybody's life,
and we've changed now because we're in such a hurry.
People are in a hurry. Oh they got to get
(05:30):
back to work. They only have twenty four hours forty
eight hours, so they want to do things quickly today.
And I find that's kind of sad.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, I agree with you. I don't know how they
can even do that. I mean, my emotions will be like,
you know, I need to take some time here.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, And that's exactly right. You need that time. You
need a few days to have that settle into your
head that this person's actually deceased, to move on, and
now your life's going to change because their life is.
So I just tell people take time. Take the time.
The funeral director will give you the time that you need,
whether it's days a week, whatever. But you need that
(06:10):
time to accept the fact that the person's actually deceased
and then you can move on and get your life
back together.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
And your work's got to do that too. They need
to say, hey, take the time off. You know, hopefully
you're working somewhere where they can do.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
That for you to wells.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Most employers County are pretty good that they have that
time work into your work schedule. In case of a
family death, you can have three, four or five days out.
But the big trend now is if you read the newspapers,
it'll say Joe blow today, no passed away, there's no
calling hours and a family will be announcing a service
(06:49):
down the road, maybe a graveside service, some not. Some
people just they don't have a service, and it's kind
of said, we just moved past that person's death. It's
hard to accept it. That's kind of the way we
live today. Everybody's in a rush, rush, rush, rush, that's
just the way we live.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
The fact that you were in the business for so long.
If someone close to you passes, is it easier for
you or no.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
To something. I'm always thinking in forensics, you know, how's
that person look and we're going to see them embombed,
on them bombed. It may be a little easier for me.
We've had family deaths in the last fifteen twenty years.
It might be a little easier because I was in
the business for so long. But death is death, and
(07:38):
we all accept it in different ways, in different ways
that we show it. It depends on the person.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
We're really not prepared for it, though our world does
not teach us to be prepared for it. No, I
mean that's what I think.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Yeah, you're right. A family only experiences of death about
one every twenty years. It's an immediate family member. Maybe
every twenty years, you might have a family member passed away,
and they're usually older people. None you've got the extenuating
circumstances where someone dies in the car crash. You've got
a twenty year old grandson that dies in the car crash.
(08:16):
How do you deal with that. That's a whole different
perspective of how you're going to deal with the family.
So it's tough, and families just have to stay together,
stick together, make the decisions together. Not a time to fight.
And I've refereed a few disagreements over the years with
families about what one family wants, part of the family
(08:40):
wants this, another family, part of the family wants that,
and funeral directors end up being referees. It's a tough time.
It's very tough time.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Love that, oh mercy. Well, what about the donation part
of it? In the donor part, and that's a whole thing.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
You know, a lot of families want part of the
person donated. You can go online. Now. The nice thing
about the internet. We have the University of Rochester as
an organ donation program where you can actually donate the
body to the University of Rochester. There are other places
(09:19):
around the country and you can go online and find one.
Just a word, can I donate my body for science
for medical education? They will transport usually the body, the
deceased body to the college. They will keep the body
for usually about a year. They use it for teaching purposes,
and then they had the body cremated and then the
(09:42):
cremains are sent back to the family. So are there
places a lot of places around the country to do that.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah. I had an uncle that did that because he
apparently they wanted him as well. I was like, wait, wait,
wait till he passes okay, because he was able to
just get through so many sicknesses along the way, and
they thought, man, how's this guy so tough. He's a
tough little thing, and they were really like salivating for him.
(10:15):
We're like, hold off, hold off. So we were glad
that he did that. He was anxious even about doing
that in a good way, like, yeah, you know, I
want them to take my body and learn how come
I have survived through so many amazing things. He was
a very special, very special man. He was a great uncle.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I had at least three or four cases when I
owned the Federal Home that they said, I just don't
want to be put in the ground and forgotten about it.
So I want to do something, maybe help out young
people getting into the medical propression. And so they did
the paperwork ahead of time, and when the person passed,
(10:53):
were all done, we called the University of Rochester. We
transported to the body to Rochester, and that he wanted
something good to come from his death, and it makes sense.
I understand that.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yeah, that's very interesting, and that's just donating. That's donating
the body as a whole. That's that's totally different than
than donating my lungs, my my you know, organs, that's
that before it every they even ever come to you.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yeah, there's lots of different ways to go, and it's
just important that people sit down with the funeral director
at the time and say, what are the options here
on donations, whether it's a partial donation of organs or bone,
or am I going to donate the whole body to
be kept a get to college until they're finished with me,
and then then cremate and send their cremains back to me.
(11:48):
So there's so many different ways to go. But it's
something that you really need to talk about some way
till this time of death because it's got to be
done pretty quick.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah. Yeah, and amazing things that you can do if
you talk to the funeral funeral directors as well. My
dad he passed Super Bowl Sunday back in twenty ten,
and yeah, and he had the best hair in the world.
He had great hair. And he died at seventy. He
never had one gray hair on his head and he
(12:18):
had his little, you know, just grateful head of hair.
And the funeral I said something about it. I really
I want to see my dad. I really would like
to have some of his hair. I think they may
have even suggested it because I said something about his hair,
and I think they said, would you like a clipping,
and they went and got me a clip. I think
(12:41):
I might have even been right there with him when
it happened, and which was It's weird, but I'm so
glad I did it. I'm so glad.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
A lot of people do that kind of don't take
a hear or something. If you look through some of
the old Bibles from the eighteen hundred, to play a
clip of hair if someone will. Yeah, I've seen that
many times over the years, and people will take a
clip of here as as it's part of the person,
it's important to them. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I did that with my little doggie too. It's just,
you know, it's just the way, that's what you do.
So Chirogenics, what do you think of that? Uh uh?
Speaker 3 (13:23):
The business, the death of business that I call it,
keeps changing, you know, and there's all kinds of new
things coming down the road that I'm not really excited about.
I just want a person to be treated respectfully and
have the remains treated respectfully at the time of depth,
and that's the important thing for me. And I think
(13:45):
some of the new things that are coming up with,
I don't know that they're really the way that we
want to go. But a society is going to go
where it's going to go, you know, and we can't
change it. It's it evolves every day. Every year, there's
new things coming out. So we'll see what are the
new things. Well, they have a new system now where
(14:10):
instead of being cremated, they put you in the cylinder
with a special chemical or two and you're like slash
around for a while and how your phones come out.
And to me, that's I'm not excited about that at all.
I said, you're going to be cremated, cremated, cremate quickly
(14:30):
two hours at the twenty one hundred degrees, take the
creamins out and either bury them or come back to
the family. But some of the new things they're thinking
about don't impress me. But I'm going to be seventy
six years old, so I'm old school.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Listen to more Coast to Coast AM every weeknight at
one am Eastern and go to Coast to coastam dot
com for more
Now here's a highlight from coast to coast am on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
When pets have other little friendly pets with them, right,
if you have like three or four animals, it doesn't
even matter if it's cattle, horses, whatever that you have.
If one of them passes, please let the other animals
see their buddy that also pass Let them know what happened.
Because when the animal is just gone one day, they're
(00:28):
constantly looking where's the animalre's the animal, where's my friend,
where's my buddy? They understand death, and let them see
that their buddy has passed, let them say goodbye, let
them know so that they can grieve as well, and
then move on to instead of looking constantly. And I
think that's got to be the same a lot of people.
(00:48):
Even though we can understand, okay, Aunt Lulu pass away
and we live we're in Antarctica and we won't be
able to get back, so you know, we do know this,
and they can, you know, kind of move on and
then later come back and go to the grave side
or wherever. Right, But so we can kind of handle
it a little better. But if we get a chance
(01:08):
to see that person, that's got to be a big difference.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
It makes a huge difference. Knni and everything you said,
it's exactly correct. When someone passes away, immediate family, whatever,
and they need to see the person deceased, whatever that takes,
if it's possible logistically because of distance and violence. Sometimes
it's difficult. Coast to coast or mid mid country to
(01:37):
the east coast or west coast. It's difficult. But in
order to accept the person's death, you really need to
see the person deceased, and that's that's hard for a
lot of people. But if you don't see the person deceased,
it's like the dog scenario you just laid out there.
They're constantly it's hard for them to accept that. Well,
(01:57):
Aunt Ruth actually passed away, but you know, we didn't
get a chance to see her. I wish we could
have seen her. So make every attempt in your family
when someone passes away to have everyone come inted to
see the person at the funeral home. And that can
be accomplished. The funeral director could make that happen. Whether
the person is embalmed or not embombed. They can see
(02:19):
the body unembombed. There are ways that it can be
done without significantly bothering the person mentally by seeing a
body unembalmed. There can be seen embalmed or not embombed,
but it's important to see the person passed away and
then you can move on with your life. So it's important.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, what now will you keep saying embalmed or not embalmed?
What will the difference look like?
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Well, the whole embombing process. We could spend three hours
on that, but we won't put in Unimbalmbed bodies can
be shown to a family. A funeral director will put
them on a on a viewing table, cover them up
with a sheet, maybe do a little light makeup because
the person's going to lose its palor it's going to
(03:09):
lose its color as the hours go by, and the
funeral director usually wants someone to see the body within
a few hours of death, before before the person is
either taken to the crematory or buried immediately. So, uh,
there's a time factor there, but within a few hours
it can be done.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
But is there like because you had said you can
see him bomb or in ball, is there some sort
of big difference or it's just it.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Oh? Yeah, the emboming process is so so so good. Today,
there are many, many different types of fluids that a
funeral director will use to actually put the color back
into the circular.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
So if a.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Farmer passes away, he's used to being out into the
field with the sunbeat down on him, and he's got
a dark tan. There are fluids that can actually make
that person look like they did when they were alive.
The embalming process is so good in the last ten, twelve,
fifteen years. It's incredible how you can give that person
the same look as they had when they were alive.
(04:16):
It's outstanding.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Oh my, well, how has the funeral business changed along
the way or has it?
Speaker 3 (04:26):
It's changed to the fact that where society is today,
we're so busy. People don't A lot of people do
not want to take the time to spend two, three,
four days to celebrate a person's death over their life.
They want to move on and little or no time off.
Like we used to have funerals who used to take three,
(04:48):
four or five days. If you diet on the Monday,
your funeral may not be until Thursday or Friday. That's
just not the way it is today. Very few people
want to do that. You look at the obituaries listed newspapers.
Now if people actually some people don't even run in an
obituary anymore. It usually says service will be held at
(05:09):
a later day as announced by the family. You'll see
that a lot. Now there's no calling. A lot of
people don't have calling hours for the decease. They might
not have a formal, formal funeral service. I find that's
kind of sad. I think we have to celebrate everybody's life,
and we've changed now because we're in such a hurry.
People are in a hurry. Oh they got to get
(05:30):
back to work. They only have twenty four hours forty
eight hours, so they want to do things quickly today.
And I find that's kind of sad.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, I agree with you. I don't know how they
can even do that. I mean, my emotions will be like,
you know, I need to take some time here.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, And that's exactly right. You need that time. You
need a few days to have that settle into your
head that this person's actually deceased, to move on, and
now your life's going to change because their life is.
So I just tell people take time. Take the time.
The funeral director will give you the time that you need,
whether it's days a week, whatever. But you need that
(06:10):
time to accept the fact that the person's actually deceased
and then you can move on and get your life
back together.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
And your work's got to do that too. They need
to say, hey, take the time off. You know, hopefully
you're working somewhere where they can do.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
That for you to wells.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Most employers County are pretty good that they have that
time work into your work schedule. In case of a
family death, you can have three, four or five days out.
But the big trend now is if you read the newspapers,
it'll say Joe blow today, no passed away, there's no
calling hours and a family will be announcing a service
(06:49):
down the road, maybe a graveside service, some not. Some
people just they don't have a service, and it's kind
of said, we just moved past that person's death. It's
hard to accept it. That's kind of the way we
live today. Everybody's in a rush, rush, rush, rush, that's
just the way we live.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
The fact that you were in the business for so long.
If someone close to you passes, is it easier for
you or no.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
To something. I'm always thinking in forensics, you know, how's
that person look and we're going to see them embombed,
on them bombed. It may be a little easier for me.
We've had family deaths in the last fifteen twenty years.
It might be a little easier because I was in
the business for so long. But death is death, and
(07:38):
we all accept it in different ways, in different ways
that we show it. It depends on the person.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
We're really not prepared for it, though our world does
not teach us to be prepared for it. No, I
mean that's what I think.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Yeah, you're right. A family only experiences of death about
one every twenty years. It's an immediate family member. Maybe
every twenty years, you might have a family member passed away,
and they're usually older people. None you've got the extenuating
circumstances where someone dies in the car crash. You've got
a twenty year old grandson that dies in the car crash.
(08:16):
How do you deal with that. That's a whole different
perspective of how you're going to deal with the family.
So it's tough, and families just have to stay together,
stick together, make the decisions together. Not a time to fight.
And I've refereed a few disagreements over the years with
families about what one family wants, part of the family
(08:40):
wants this, another family, part of the family wants that,
and funeral directors end up being referees. It's a tough time.
It's very tough time.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Love that, oh mercy. Well, what about the donation part
of it? In the donor part, and that's a whole thing.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
You know, a lot of families want part of the
person donated. You can go online. Now. The nice thing
about the internet. We have the University of Rochester as
an organ donation program where you can actually donate the
body to the University of Rochester. There are other places
(09:19):
around the country and you can go online and find one.
Just a word, can I donate my body for science
for medical education? They will transport usually the body, the
deceased body to the college. They will keep the body
for usually about a year. They use it for teaching purposes,
and then they had the body cremated and then the
(09:42):
cremains are sent back to the family. So are there
places a lot of places around the country to do that.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah. I had an uncle that did that because he
apparently they wanted him as well. I was like, wait, wait,
wait till he passes okay, because he was able to
just get through so many sicknesses along the way, and
they thought, man, how's this guy so tough. He's a
tough little thing, and they were really like salivating for him.
(10:15):
We're like, hold off, hold off. So we were glad
that he did that. He was anxious even about doing
that in a good way, like, yeah, you know, I
want them to take my body and learn how come
I have survived through so many amazing things. He was
a very special, very special man. He was a great uncle.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I had at least three or four cases when I
owned the Federal Home that they said, I just don't
want to be put in the ground and forgotten about it.
So I want to do something, maybe help out young
people getting into the medical propression. And so they did
the paperwork ahead of time, and when the person passed,
(10:53):
were all done, we called the University of Rochester. We
transported to the body to Rochester, and that he wanted
something good to come from his death, and it makes sense.
I understand that.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yeah, that's very interesting, and that's just donating. That's donating
the body as a whole. That's that's totally different than
than donating my lungs, my my you know, organs, that's
that before it every they even ever come to you.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yeah, there's lots of different ways to go, and it's
just important that people sit down with the funeral director
at the time and say, what are the options here
on donations, whether it's a partial donation of organs or bone,
or am I going to donate the whole body to
be kept a get to college until they're finished with me,
and then then cremate and send their cremains back to me.
(11:48):
So there's so many different ways to go. But it's
something that you really need to talk about some way
till this time of death because it's got to be
done pretty quick.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah. Yeah, and amazing things that you can do if
you talk to the funeral funeral directors as well. My
dad he passed Super Bowl Sunday back in twenty ten,
and yeah, and he had the best hair in the world.
He had great hair. And he died at seventy. He
never had one gray hair on his head and he
(12:18):
had his little, you know, just grateful head of hair.
And the funeral I said something about it. I really
I want to see my dad. I really would like
to have some of his hair. I think they may
have even suggested it because I said something about his hair,
and I think they said, would you like a clipping,
and they went and got me a clip. I think
(12:41):
I might have even been right there with him when
it happened, and which was It's weird, but I'm so
glad I did it. I'm so glad.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
A lot of people do that kind of don't take
a hear or something. If you look through some of
the old Bibles from the eighteen hundred, to play a
clip of hair if someone will. Yeah, I've seen that
many times over the years, and people will take a
clip of here as as it's part of the person,
it's important to them. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I did that with my little doggie too. It's just,
you know, it's just the way, that's what you do.
So Chirogenics, what do you think of that? Uh uh?
Speaker 3 (13:23):
The business, the death of business that I call it,
keeps changing, you know, and there's all kinds of new
things coming down the road that I'm not really excited about.
I just want a person to be treated respectfully and
have the remains treated respectfully at the time of depth,
and that's the important thing for me. And I think
(13:45):
some of the new things that are coming up with,
I don't know that they're really the way that we
want to go. But a society is going to go
where it's going to go, you know, and we can't
change it. It's it evolves every day. Every year, there's
new things coming out. So we'll see what are the
new things. Well, they have a new system now where
(14:10):
instead of being cremated, they put you in the cylinder
with a special chemical or two and you're like slash
around for a while and how your phones come out.
And to me, that's I'm not excited about that at all.
I said, you're going to be cremated, cremated, cremate quickly
(14:30):
two hours at the twenty one hundred degrees, take the
creamins out and either bury them or come back to
the family. But some of the new things they're thinking
about don't impress me. But I'm going to be seventy
six years old, so I'm old school.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
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