July 27, 2023 • 35 mins
Ashleigh Warren from Swiping America is hanging out with the Newlyweds to share her experience of finding love through dating apps and reality TV!
Ashleigh has an unbelievable tip on which dating platform is the most underrated! S
Plus, find out which is the best city in America to date in!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Dean Aungler, Haylen Miller Keys, and Jared haven An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hey, welcome to ano new episode of Help We Suck
At Being Newlyweds. I am Jared and joined by a
very special guest host not Dean, not Kalen, who are
also very special in their own right, but my wife Ashley.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Today it's not help we sucker beating newlyweds because we've
been married for almost four years.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Are you gonna say, help we suck at being married? No?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I know I was gonna say that, and I was like,
that doesn't We're not we does not give up the
wrong pressure.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
We also don't suck at being married, but we could.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Create some headlines. Maybe we should start fighting.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
I don't think so. You always joke like this. I
don't think those are good headlines for us.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
No press is bad press, right, But we have a
very special guest who is joining us via zoom. She
is the creator of so Social, which is a brand
agency for influencers like ourselves that turn connections into profit.
You could see her on the reality show Swiping America.
She is also the host of the podcast Burnt Creator.
She feels burnt out from after doing all of this.
(01:01):
Not to mention, you're also the author of the book
The micro Influences, Brand Partnership, Bible, Grow Your Income, Following
and brand It is Ashley Warren. Ashley, how are you?
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I'm great? After that intro, My gosh, I sound so cool.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
When you say like that, you are cool? I mean,
how do you do that? So you're all over the place,
So you created so social, you have your podcast, you
wrote your book, you're on Swepping America. How do you
find time to just keep your sanity?
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Uh? Hence the burn Creator a little burns out that
may not apply to a ton of people, but Burn
Creator is a podcast made for people like us who
have the best job in the world.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
But still feel the burnout of a work of I'm
not Copnation that literally just never stops never.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
It's definitely not worth complaining about. Right now, we do
want to talk to you about job. Totally different show
is the show Swiping America. It's on Max and it
follows eight singles dating in the city.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
So I'm one of the four New Yorkers that travel
to the eight cities and we date. I think there's
like one hundred and sixty eight dates, don't quote me,
like between all four of us, and we try to
find love in all these cities and then some of
us do, some of us don't. And that's the friend
of snake at it.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, of course, Oh, you guys are from New York,
but you date in eight different cities.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Yeah, so it's like it's so hard to date, right, Like,
so I'm from California. I grew up in San Diego.
It's been ail a time in LA and so I
compare dating in New York to dating in La. Awful,
but like a different kind of awful. Like you're going
to find interesting people, you're going to find connections, but
like someone to go deep with. It's just very hard.
I think this is the nature of social media. I
think it's the nature of swiping. And so they created
(02:50):
this show where you're forced to go out with people
that maybe you would never like meet, never swipe on,
and see if there's this connection that you can build
chemistry and then you know, you're free to invite them
to the next city if things feel great. And so
it was definitely like, oh my gosh, it's like dating
in the nineties, Like, so cool, We're going outside not
(03:11):
using our phone, so weird.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, well, I think a lot of people have this
fantasy about finding someone they love while being either on
vacation or some sort of trip, and not even just
an exotic location, but it's just a new, fresh environment.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So how is that for you? Being able to go
to these different places and you know, experience new people.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Yeah, I mean Miami felt the most comparable to what
I'm used to as far as dating. Ashville, Like, I've
met so many cool people that I think I will
be friends with forever in different kinds of cities. But
like in Ashville, I meet scrolling Jordan, who's awesome, Like
we became really good friends, but I never would have
(03:53):
met Jordan. I feel like in real life, you know.
So it's just so cool to go to these cities
that I would never think that, oh my person could
be there or a really good friend be there. I
met some cool people in Austin and Boulder, and it's
really fun just to like you said, like date. I'm
an entrepreneur, so I travel a lot, and so I'm
used to like dating on the road, but in big cities,
(04:13):
not cities that I would never go to just to
go like try to meet someone. So it was really fun.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
What was your favorite city to date it?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Santa Fe?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Is that where you found someone?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Like did you see my show?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
I saw you smile? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Yeah. So I actually met Jess, who is my love
interest in this entire journey before filming, and so we
started filming like kind of in the middle of COVID,
like things are a lot better, but we still have
lots of precautions and stuff like that. And so I
(04:52):
had him dated in a while. I'm like, I'm going
on a dating show. I should probably remember how to
date people and like talk to people outside. And so,
like I get back on Hinge and I'm like swiping.
And I was in Miami the weekend before for my
birthday and I come across this girl who says like
she's from Florida, and I'm like, she's stunning. I'm like,
this is a lot. She's not real, Like she's funny,
(05:13):
this is not real, but I'm gonna play along because
on board and so we have like all this great
banswer and she agrees to meet up with me. I'm
still thinking she's gonna probably kill me or not be
real and I get there and it's her, and we
just have the best first date like ever, like ever,
we like shut the bar down. We're there for like
four hours, and then I have to tell her because
(05:35):
I'm find an apple, like I suck, I'm going on
a dating show see you in three months. And she's like, cool, yeah,
don't talk to me for three months. And so I
didn't do that. I mean we didn't talk for like
a month, and I think I was in Miami. I
text her like this blows like I'm not really connecting
(05:56):
with people, and honestly discancelp thinking about you, like how
are you? We have this long conversation and we start
talking more and more and more. As that happens, I'm
very like transparent with the producers. I'm like, it's a documentary.
I'm here to find love and I also would love
to go home and just like date this girl at
this point, like it's a wrap for me. And they're like, well,
(06:17):
this invited and see she'll come. I'm like, are you serious?
And so I invited her. She said no five hundred
times and then she may yes. And so she meets
me in Stanta Fe for our most elaborate second date ever,
it was romantic and gorgeous, and then I invite her
to Hawaii and she's my person that I choose.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Oh so you were allowed to just spoil it like this, Yeah,
I just it's all out.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I'm just who knows, who knows? But you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Well, I thank you so much. So so talk about
what's dating like is after? Because you guys, she's in
Santa Fe. I'm assuming you're back in the city now.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Well, she lives in Miami.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
No, she lives she lives actually New York. I just
thought she was from She's like from Yeah, we had
our first date in New York City before I left,
and so I finally met with her in Orland or
in Miami. But she's just like, that's like, I'm from there.
So I just read her on my bread and so
I just ended up dating her when I came back.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
So, you guys might have the craziest love story of
all time because you're down in Florida. You match down
there while you're in Miami for your birthday.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Yeah, so you're.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Thinking, Okay, she lives in Florida. Yeah, and then you
find out that she's in the city. You guys, have
a date and then you're like, I'm going on a
TV show. Yeah, you go on the TV show. The
producers will like bring her on. Yeah, you'd ask her
a million times, she says no, finally says yes. So
then you guys have a date in Santa Fe and
then you go to Hawaii and you guys go back
(07:46):
to New York City to start dating.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Wow hilarious.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yeah wow, yeah, I mean that puts our story to shame.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Let's not compare.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Well, congrats on that, And so how long has it
been since you've finished filming?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (08:07):
When did we finish filming? We finished filming in May
of last year.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Oh wow, you guys have been together for a while.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
We've dated for a while. And so the beautiful part
about this is understanding the other side of everyone's relationship.
Like as a professional, so I worked with a lot
of influencers and artists, and when everyone's in part of
your business, it makes it very very difficult. And so
we've kind of just decided to not speak on what
we're doing right now, but we did date after the show.
(08:35):
I love her very very much, and yeah, I'm just
like I'm very excited to not involve everyone in my
current business. It feels so nice, so nice to protect
that in LA. So I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Oh that's so nice. So I mean, well, because we
are a dating podcasts, we do have to talk about it,
just the tiny.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Of course we can talk about it. We can talk
about it.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
So are you living together?
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Okay? Are you so? How old are you Ashley?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
I have a thirty one?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Okay, you guys so young? So are there you know,
are there any plans to move in together? Are you guys?
Do you think you'll stay in the city? I mean,
what's what's kind of the future look like?
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:19):
I mean I have learned in dating women that you
don't speak for women, and so I can tell you
what I hope you know, the future looks like. I
love New York City. I've moved here because I was
tired of living in LA and the goal was always
to be by coastal for me. And so I'm looking
(09:39):
at that like where I want to be. I don't
really necessarily want to be in LA. Do you want
to be back closer to San Diego, La Joya or
something like that. So That's where I'm looking and I'm
hopeful that we will meet somewhere in the middle and
be able to do that together. SINCEI coastal nature, she
also works remote, so I'm I'm hopeful that we can
(10:00):
figure out something that makes us both happy.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Your castmates didn't have such a unique story, I'm assuming,
and they ended up actually dating different people in different cities.
Was there one city that seemed to be the favorite
to dat in?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
I think everyone have a different answer to that. I
think obviously we've all had like a year to process
all of this now, so I'm sure you get a
different answer every month you talk to someone about it.
I think for Keison, she would probably say Seattle, And
I think maybe Chris would say I think he met
(10:41):
him in Seattle. I don't know what Reagan would say.
I don't really know. But everyone loved the aesthetic of
Santa Fe. It's like, what do we appreciate dating where
it was like we had some such a good time,
it was beautiful. As far as like the daters, I
think it just depends on Like who you really ask.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Did you notice any differences going from city to city
of the dating world or just culturally or just being
immersed in different parts of the country, being like wow,
It's crazy how different you know, I can see someone
trying to date here than it would be dating there.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Oh totally. I mean we live in like the biggest
city ever, So leaving here and then going immediately to Asheville.
My thirtieth birthday was like the biggest culture shock ever.
I think they said, happy birthday. Here is a like
cold plunge. I was like, oh, so you hate me,
Like I'm wait, yea cold plunge on.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Your thirtieth birthday as a tradition in Iville. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
No, I was just like that's how we started the show,
like the cleansing of everything. I'm like, day, where is
my tquette? They gave me ice and said, so yeah,
it was. It's very slow, you know. And so Jordan's
such a great person. But like you hear me kind
of going back and forth in that episode about like
(12:10):
how does role life work? Like I do what I do?
I like fujie things like I will go to nature
with you and do that, but don't ask me to
go camping. Where's the pool, where's the ocean? Where's my villa?
Those are like that's how I am, And so I'm like,
how do we work? You know? We're out here foraging
for our first date, like this, this is weird. Obviously
(12:32):
she's like not a forager, but still it was just like,
this is such a small town city. Yeah, Like there's
Hallmark movies that like where this works, whether you get
this person with the big city and they need this
like very wholesome person from somewhere quieter and it works.
But I'm like, I struggle to see that because I
see so much more of my career where I want
to go, go, go, go go, and so I think
(12:56):
we always had to each individually have those questions with
ourselves as like does this work for where I want
my life to be in the next year, in the
next five years, because I met a lot of great
people that I'm like, oh, you're awesome. This could be fun,
But I'm not really looking for fun. I'm kind of
I'm like, I'm looking for a partner who I can
like build a life with, who can you know, make
(13:16):
me want to be better and I can make them
want to be better and we do things that matter
to us.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
With the cast as a whole, did anyone decide to
move out of New York City to date after the
show because they're like, ah, it's so much better elsewhere.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Keison moved, but not for that reason. She was just
already over the city. She was like, I need a break.
I've been or forever. She's like a boss ass, like
real estate agent here, and she's like, I am tired.
So she went. I think all of most of her
family lives in Charleston, so she moved back there. Okay,
so I imagine it's way chiller.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
I'm much slower. There's no place as fast as New
York City.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
And so before you went on the date with Jess
in New York, you know, you had this idea that
you were going on this show and you're going to
date people from all around the country. Were you nervous
because you said your life is so go, go, go,
go go. Were you nervous, like, oh crap, what if
I meet someone who's from you know, Idaho and we
have a real connection and they don't want New York
(14:21):
City And I don't want that because you know, we
come from the Bachelor franchise. But this happens, and so
it happens with us as well. But with everybody in life,
whenever they travel or if they meet someone, it's a
very people I think always say oh, I'll move for
the love of my life, like I'll move for them,
and it's so easy to say, but it's way harder
to actually practically do and say, Okay, well, I'm going
(14:42):
to move my entire life for the person that I love,
because then that gets you know, grows resentment, and then
that becomes issues in the relationship. Did you have these
fears going into it.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
I was very skeptical going into it. I'm like, they
were very casting process, they were very honest with me,
and they're like, you date a very particular type of
woman that we're not going to find with you for
you with intention, like you date models. No, And I'm like, okay,
I'm open to not doing that. And so I think
(15:15):
at a subconscious level is like, either I'm going to
meet the love of my life and this is just
going to just be fucking hard, you know, going forward,
or I'm not going to meet anyone and whatever. It
crossed my mind. But I think selfishly I was just like,
who doesn't want to move to New York? Like you're moving
to me? Like I'm I'm not very.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
I don't think that Jared would be with me if
we had to live.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
In New York, there'd be a conversation to be had.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
He literally despises it.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
It's just so much. It's just not my lifestyle.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
The Queen, do you guys live Lord Island. I moved
there for him.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
She's the one who always told me I could live,
I could be happy anywhere. I'm like, okay, well, you
know Rhode Island here.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
We are you happy?
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Yes, a human being, I'm happy overall.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
There's some downfalls toys about it. I mean, it's not easy,
but it's chill.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
I'm sure, Oh.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
It's it's it's yeah, it's cool.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
It's fine right now, it's fine. It's the summer.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
So ask me again in a couple of when you
it's it's so crazy, as you know, in New York,
it's so it's so seasonal, especially Rhode Island. You know,
there's definitely a seasonal depressions. So like Jennery fervorite March
hits and she's like, this is the worst.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
It's likely. I mean, it's just like there's so many
things to do. It feels like a vacation is a
vacation state in the summer, because we're four minutes from
actually just sitting on the beach. So yeah, so it's
really really nice, like almost luxurious, and the other times
of the year, I'm like, oh yeah, I don't have
a community here.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Cool okay anyway, but not about us.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
I want to know, do you think that it's nicer
to date when there is a huge sea of millions
of people like in New York or when there's a
smaller pool somewhere else.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
So I don't know, because I don't feel like there's
this massive cool like being a lesbian. I feel like
I've seen all the lesbians in three places in New
York City and I'm like, where are there work? I
feel like they're not here, you know. And so I
(17:35):
never feel like there's millions of us, you know. And
I think that just comes from being like I'm in
a minority group. Like I don't ever feel like there's
just all these choices. I know there are, but I'm like, okay,
a lot of those people are married, or a lot
of those people are just visiting. Like you also never
know that too, Like who's just visiting? That's just like
out for a good time. So I feel like going
(17:59):
through the show now, I would say I like having
more choice than like, here are five matches, you must
pick one of these five people to have a good
time with or not. You know, yeah, I think I
just I definitely prefer more choice.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I hear you there. But it is an interesting question
because I was actually reading it was a a I
forget the name of the book, but it was a
Zizin Sorry's book that came out years ago, Modern Love
or something like that. But he was talking about how
the statistics of marriage had changed over the years, because
it used to be, you know, statistically speaking, people would
(18:34):
either most of the time marry someone you know on
their street, and then it expanded to neighborhood and then
city and then stay and now obviously it's all over
the place because we're such a connected world. Yeah, And
it's interesting to me because he talks about like the
positive and negatives about having so much choice, because there's
(18:56):
a lot of people out there who always view it
as the grass is greener on the other side comparably,
like totally sure you've experienced in New York that we've
all experienced in LA as well, where it's like you're
having a conversation with someone or you're a day with
someone and it always feels like they're waiting for the
next best thing, you know, like this is good, but
it could be better, and totally, there's so many opportunities
(19:17):
to have it better that they can they can give
it a shot.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Yeah, I mean, I think I, for the first time
in my life, understand that love is a choice and
is a commitment. And I think when you're young and
you live in major cities, like, yeah, it is always
totally just like this person like pisses me off once,
it's fine because there's someone else who won't miss me
off about the specific thing. And then that person doesn't,
(19:43):
you know, resonate with you on this and it's like
you're constantly never happy. And I think that's just the
testament to our generation, how we don't understand reality. Sometimes
I feel like that's not life. You know, You're never
going to find someone who is going to agree with
you on everything. It's like, does this person challenge you?
Does this person motivate you? Can you be your full self?
(20:05):
Can you fight? I think it's something you just don't learn,
you know, from school or your parents whatever. It's like
how to fight in a relationship and how to fight
for your relationship and so yeah, I mean it's just
it's such a different perspective when it's like you make
a choice. It's like, yes, there's all these people I
(20:25):
hear Angelina Jolies on the street really with so grow
and like I'm doing other things, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Yeah, I've always found that you can't choose who you love.
You know, you love who you love, but you choose
who you're committing to, and those are two separate things.
And so like, obviously I love you, don't choose to
love you. I just love you, but I choose to
commit to you. Yeah, but I do want to talk
about so Social because sure it's so interesting to both
(20:53):
of us because we're in the influencer world. How did
you get involved in this and how did you create
so Social?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Yeah, I mean I think it was just one of
those fate things. I have been in, like the digital
marketing space for ten years. I was freelancing for a
e comm company and did really good work for them.
I made them like their first million in like two
months or something, and they were like, when we go,
let me told all my friends. And one of their
friends happened to be Chris from Fanjoy and He's like,
(21:25):
he does like merch for influencers, and I'm like, at
that point, I didn't even like influencers. I was like, no,
I don't do that. I kept bugging me about it.
I'm like, no, they're posers. I don't like it, and
he's like, they're not, like you should he like, send
me some ratcles to read about. I don't even care
who it was specific. I was like, oh, she seems cool, okay,
And I got on the a call of Chris, who
was just one of the greatest you play ever meet.
(21:47):
And I worked with him for years and basically ran
all the marketing campaigns for all of his clients. And
then other people start reaching out to me, other big creators,
and then we happen to start working with artists, and
I'm like on the phone with Plus Phones manager and
now we're talking to Sean Mendes and all these people,
and I'm like it just kind of spiraled into this
(22:08):
is my niche and I love it. And then that
led me to beautiful covid where we were all alone
and had nothing else to do, and I was always
getting like damps from my influencers, like can you help
me do this? And I'm like, like, there's just no
way you can afford our FEA. I know that, and
so I was looking for books that didn't exist to
help and then I was like, is there like a
(22:29):
course that I feel like I'm confident that I could,
you know, recommend couldn't find one, And so I spent
most of the covid like building resources for my cridfuluencers
and through this list of like sixty thousand people, and
it's been crazy. It's definitely not something that I ever
was like, I want to do this cool, trendy thing
and this is going to be so fun. I was
just like, oh my god. Creatively, I just love it.
(22:49):
From and marketing perspective, what I loved about being a
media buyer was the agency that I worked. I was
having this freedom to build the assets and build the
landing pages and have creative stay and I feel like
a lot of that is prevalent in working with micro
influencers and creators at large, and so yeah, I just
(23:10):
I just kind of fell into it.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
What's one of your favorite brands to work with?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Who lets like the influencer be as creative as they want.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
As they want. Well, you know, honestly, I will say
my favorite to work with is the creator that owns
your brand, not a creator that's partnering with a brand,
because it's it's yeah, because they're in charge, you know,
and it's like the baby. It's their baby and they're
(23:50):
going to treat it like such. I mean, I've worked
with many creators that have large partnerships, and sometimes it's
just because they're so used to making bank and it
just doesn't matter. It's just another partnership that they don't
have that like passion for the campaign that's necessary for
their followers to connect to let me go sign up
for that lego follow mego purchase. And so it's always
(24:14):
fun to work with the creator that has, you know,
a clothing line or is dropping a single, or is
building you know, a new audience or a new platform
or something like that, because I can get behind that
entrepreneur vision. But I mean when Marshmallow did like collaboration
with best Buy, that was fun because it was so random.
I think it was like a toaster or something, and
(24:35):
I was like, did I read this slack right? Like
he has like a toaster we're promoting with best Buy,
Coco Colt tight type. This is such a weird day.
I love it.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Okay, then, what's one thing that Instagram viewer is just
the audience, like a regular non influencer should keep in
mind when watching influencers speak about brands. U.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
I know that everyone hates influencers talking about brands now,
and that like breaks my heart because everyone is my
job number two. It's just like, there are creators out
there that actually do care about the products that they're promoting.
I think there's a vast majority that do. And I
think don't write off this celebrity type because you feel
unrelated to them that they're speaking better product. Those chances
(25:23):
are that they really do, you know, care about the brand,
really do believe in the products, and give them a chance.
So don't just scroll, Like if you love someone enough
to follow them and engage with their content, like that's
also their business. See it as that, Like imagine me
going to to your Starbucks buying a Grande and leading
you tip, like, engage with their like this is their
livelihood and don't just assume that they are full of shit.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, and it's it's very true to people who have
been very lucky to work with brands and to promote
on their own social with ads. I mean the products
that we get, it's it's it is hard because we
do care about it so much and we want it
to do so well and we love the product. Like
I'm looking at my own Instagram because I was like,
what are some recent things that I've done, Like the
last one that I did was for Showcase Cinemas, and
(26:08):
I love going to the movie so much, and I
want people to go to the movies because I just
think that a theatrical experience is very important to the
movie going world. Theaters can never die for me. And
then also we did this.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Track of course We're gonna watch Peacocks.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, this one was really good. Yes, I
mean obviously I love Peacock. And then also there's just
it's so much fun, like there's these gel blasters. Anyway,
we don't talk about it, but point being is that,
like the brands that we work with, we really love
and we love the product that they do, and so
we're trying to promote it as best as possible because
we care about it and we do care about the
success of this company because they're choosing to work with us,
(26:49):
and we want to try to make sure that we're
as successful as possible when working in these partnerships. So
like for us personally, and I could speak, I feel
like for a lot of our friends who are also
doing similar things, that we really do care about these products.
It's not just like just getting a paid in then
moving on with our lives. Like we talk to these
brands a lot and their stories and how they got
started and how they're navigating the digital marketplace because it is,
(27:12):
as you can attest to much more than us. It's
it's still relatively a new world and evolving every day,
and so I'm curious where it goes how I think
I have two questions for you, because I know we
have to wrap quickly, but it is interesting to me.
So you've been in this market place for more than
ten years. You created so socially, you are very prominent
in social media and marketing.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Wrote a book about which what do you say is
a micro influencer? Is it like below a million or
is it like around the five hundred thousand mark or what?
Speaker 4 (27:42):
It really depends on who you ask, Like I would
say under one hundred thousand, you wouldn't consider like a
micro spilinster Okay, Yeah, there's like tiers, there's tears, like
micro fant.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Just because there's so many that have like.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
You feel like a macro influencer.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Well that's very set. But my question for you is
you said you've been in this business for ten years,
So what do you think has changed? Like, how is it?
Because everybody says, oh, the you know, advertising on the
Internet has changed so much. What do you think has
changed about it? And where do you find it headed?
Do you think that you know this marketplace for digital
(28:22):
social media brand partnerships? Do you think it's fading? Do
you think it's going to grow? Do you think it's
going to stay the same. Do you think that there
are certain social media platforms that are going to grow
more than others?
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Just should we stop trying to grow instead TikTok like.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
Threads? No? I mean, honestly, I think it's changed so
much for the good and the bad. So the good
in the sense that like people are demanding authenticity from
brands and some influencers.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
I think that is so important. I remember the day's
big marketer where you can be like, h, take these
pills and your heroll grows twenty three inches overnight and
you could just run that on Instagram and Facebook. You
can't do that anymore. That's a lie, that's fake. And
so I love that we are holding people accountable. What
(29:11):
I don't love is like people are jaded because of it.
So I think things need to adapt. I think creators
need to be creative on how they present you know,
their brand partnerships. And I follow a million people, I'm
constantly engaging a platform from that perspective of like, oh,
I didn't even realize that this is an ad. So
I think as a creator that's doing you know, brand partnerships,
you have to think of ways to present this content
(29:33):
in a way that doesn't feel like an ad because
people are so tired of seeing sponsored content and so
it's like really integrating it into your life into a
deeper way and not just going to the major platforms.
I think it's really important, like understanding your niche. So, yes,
have an Instagram. You're always going to make the most
(29:53):
play on Instagram. Right now, that might change. You're going
to make more money likely on Instagram than TikTok, just
because the fut the followers worth more threads. That's coming,
like we're getting ads that that's inevitable. Brand partnerships will
be there, and so I tell everyone that the most
underrated piece of marketing platform that you could have as
(30:16):
an email list. Brands will pay you more than you
could ever imagine for you to sponsor, like to to
a sponsored newsletter to people that actually gauge with your blist,
because that's valuable. You have insights on who they are
as people. You have you own that you know, and
so that gives you so much more leverage in negotiating
(30:39):
with brands and also building your own stuff. So, like,
you know, let's say you've done brand partnerships for ten
years and you're like, I want to do a T
shirt line. Well, now I have a list of ten
thousand people because I'm constantly just sitting in a newsletter
and like, you know, I talked to crewers like, well,
I'm not anything to talk about it. I'm going to
sell its, Like give them content they you don't post.
I'm sure you have a million photos and stories about
(31:01):
things that you didn't put in your stories that people
would love to hear about. Like it's things that you
don't think that are important are often the most important
impactful things to your community, and so there's so many
platforms that you can use to build that. But I
think really just having your list it doesn't take a
lot because if you have five hundred engaged people you
sell something, fifty percent of them buy something from you.
(31:22):
Like you're doing better than most sponsored Instagram posts.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
You know, that's all really great. I'm glad that you
said all that. The one thing that I just want
to go off of is that it sucks because so
many brands don't allow you to be as organic as
possible because they want you to hit like all these
points and they don't understand.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Because I just feel like there's some sort of we
need to have like a pow wow between.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Influencer and the brands because like we're like, no, no, this
doesn't work, and they're like, no, no, we need it this way.
It's like, do you really need it this way? Because
do you want the sales or do you just want
your like messaging out there? Yeah, because if it's a
messaging thing then sure, but if you the clicks, then
you're gonna have to do it this way. And yeah,
well we don't have to get into this. This is
really a personal conversation.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
But yeah, I mean, I think that's where it's like
forcing them to sit down and be educated. And it's
like you can't achieve two conversions at once. Is it's
either engagement or like yeah, some sort of conversion like
purchase or something like that. So it's like, yeah, you
can't grow your following and be like but also buy
my product. So that's where you're like as a creator,
you're you are presenting a long term relationship. So it's
(32:31):
like also like remind them like have you ever dated
in your life or not? Just like get in my bed,
Like you can't do that to your audience. Hi, here's
this brand just like casually using it, and you should
be you should be paid for that. So like one
post should really turn into five to ten sponsored posts
because if they actually want to make sales, that's how
(32:52):
you do it. If you do hail Mary of like
buy my buy my pillow, you're gonna maybe get one
sale from your super fan that's just obsessed with anything
that you do, Like what's the point. And if it's
about clout of like oh, this influencer, that's what I
tell brands all the time, and like don't come to
me and you understand, like your objective, it's about If
it's about like and Radaut posting about this for you, fine,
(33:14):
but if it's about like actually people engaging with your
brand and buying this, then we need to have a
different discussion because that's not what you want to do. Like,
this is not the objective that you want to actually
use for this campaign. So they live in dinosaur land.
It's very interesting to see how many brands and labels
(33:35):
and agencies still live like it's like two thousand and one.
I'm like, you do realize that influencers and creators run
the world, the digital world. They are in charge. They
move ountains. If you post tomorrow, like I mean, I
even think up my own show. I'm just like, use influencers.
You want people to know about something, use influencers, Like personally,
(33:56):
I'm not driving by a billboard to be like wow,
I should really watch that show. Like that's not what
anyone does anymore. It's really cool to say that that's happening.
But yeah, you guys move mountains. You guys draw attention.
We trust you because we follow your lives and you're
open and honest about what's going on, and we see
that you're human and your humanist allows us to be
persuaded to engage in the things that you're engaged with.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
It's really funny that you said two thousand and one,
because when you said, oh, it feels like brands are
still and I'm so old, I was like, Oh, she's
gonna say like the nineteen eighties, and then you're two
thousand and one. I'm like, yep, that was twenty two
years ago. Yeah, that would be.
Speaker 4 (34:30):
It's crazy, twenty.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Two years ago. Holy crap.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Yep, yep, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
I sure need I have back pain. Ashley, thank you
so much for joining us on the podcast We Were
the Best. You can check out on ab excuse me,
on Max Swiping America. Of course you own so you
can listen to Ashley on our podcast burn Creator and
of course buy her book whereas available wherever you can
buy her book. So it's called the Micro Influencers Brand
(34:57):
Partnership Bible Grow your income following a brand. Ashley Warren,
thank you so much for joining us your pleasure.
Speaker 4 (35:03):
Thank you both. You guys are awesome. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Bye bye bye, Sarah, thanks for listening. Follow us on
Instagram at help we suck at.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Being Newlyweds and email us at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Make sure to write us a review and leave us
five stars. We'll see you next time.
Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Dean Aungler, Haylen Miller Keys, and Jared haven An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hey, welcome to ano new episode of Help We Suck
At Being Newlyweds. I am Jared and joined by a
very special guest host not Dean, not Kalen, who are
also very special in their own right, but my wife Ashley.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Today it's not help we sucker beating newlyweds because we've
been married for almost four years.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Are you gonna say, help we suck at being married? No?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I know I was gonna say that, and I was like,
that doesn't We're not we does not give up the
wrong pressure.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
We also don't suck at being married, but we could.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Create some headlines. Maybe we should start fighting.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
I don't think so. You always joke like this. I
don't think those are good headlines for us.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
No press is bad press, right, But we have a
very special guest who is joining us via zoom. She
is the creator of so Social, which is a brand
agency for influencers like ourselves that turn connections into profit.
You could see her on the reality show Swiping America.
She is also the host of the podcast Burnt Creator.
She feels burnt out from after doing all of this.
(01:01):
Not to mention, you're also the author of the book
The micro Influences, Brand Partnership, Bible, Grow Your Income, Following
and brand It is Ashley Warren. Ashley, how are you?
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I'm great? After that intro, My gosh, I sound so cool.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
When you say like that, you are cool? I mean,
how do you do that? So you're all over the place,
So you created so social, you have your podcast, you
wrote your book, you're on Swepping America. How do you
find time to just keep your sanity?
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Uh? Hence the burn Creator a little burns out that
may not apply to a ton of people, but Burn
Creator is a podcast made for people like us who
have the best job in the world.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
But still feel the burnout of a work of I'm
not Copnation that literally just never stops never.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
It's definitely not worth complaining about. Right now, we do
want to talk to you about job. Totally different show
is the show Swiping America. It's on Max and it
follows eight singles dating in the city.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
So I'm one of the four New Yorkers that travel
to the eight cities and we date. I think there's
like one hundred and sixty eight dates, don't quote me,
like between all four of us, and we try to
find love in all these cities and then some of
us do, some of us don't. And that's the friend
of snake at it.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, of course, Oh, you guys are from New York,
but you date in eight different cities.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Yeah, so it's like it's so hard to date, right, Like,
so I'm from California. I grew up in San Diego.
It's been ail a time in LA and so I
compare dating in New York to dating in La. Awful,
but like a different kind of awful. Like you're going
to find interesting people, you're going to find connections, but
like someone to go deep with. It's just very hard.
I think this is the nature of social media. I
think it's the nature of swiping. And so they created
(02:50):
this show where you're forced to go out with people
that maybe you would never like meet, never swipe on,
and see if there's this connection that you can build
chemistry and then you know, you're free to invite them
to the next city if things feel great. And so
it was definitely like, oh my gosh, it's like dating
in the nineties, Like, so cool, We're going outside not
(03:11):
using our phone, so weird.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, well, I think a lot of people have this
fantasy about finding someone they love while being either on
vacation or some sort of trip, and not even just
an exotic location, but it's just a new, fresh environment.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So how is that for you? Being able to go
to these different places and you know, experience new people.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Yeah, I mean Miami felt the most comparable to what
I'm used to as far as dating. Ashville, Like, I've
met so many cool people that I think I will
be friends with forever in different kinds of cities. But
like in Ashville, I meet scrolling Jordan, who's awesome, Like
we became really good friends, but I never would have
(03:53):
met Jordan. I feel like in real life, you know.
So it's just so cool to go to these cities
that I would never think that, oh my person could
be there or a really good friend be there. I
met some cool people in Austin and Boulder, and it's
really fun just to like you said, like date. I'm
an entrepreneur, so I travel a lot, and so I'm
used to like dating on the road, but in big cities,
(04:13):
not cities that I would never go to just to
go like try to meet someone. So it was really fun.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
What was your favorite city to date it?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Santa Fe?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Is that where you found someone?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Like did you see my show?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
I saw you smile? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Yeah. So I actually met Jess, who is my love
interest in this entire journey before filming, and so we
started filming like kind of in the middle of COVID,
like things are a lot better, but we still have
lots of precautions and stuff like that. And so I
(04:52):
had him dated in a while. I'm like, I'm going
on a dating show. I should probably remember how to
date people and like talk to people outside. And so,
like I get back on Hinge and I'm like swiping.
And I was in Miami the weekend before for my
birthday and I come across this girl who says like
she's from Florida, and I'm like, she's stunning. I'm like,
this is a lot. She's not real, Like she's funny,
(05:13):
this is not real, but I'm gonna play along because
on board and so we have like all this great
banswer and she agrees to meet up with me. I'm
still thinking she's gonna probably kill me or not be
real and I get there and it's her, and we
just have the best first date like ever, like ever,
we like shut the bar down. We're there for like
four hours, and then I have to tell her because
(05:35):
I'm find an apple, like I suck, I'm going on
a dating show see you in three months. And she's like, cool, yeah,
don't talk to me for three months. And so I
didn't do that. I mean we didn't talk for like
a month, and I think I was in Miami. I
text her like this blows like I'm not really connecting
(05:56):
with people, and honestly discancelp thinking about you, like how
are you? We have this long conversation and we start
talking more and more and more. As that happens, I'm
very like transparent with the producers. I'm like, it's a documentary.
I'm here to find love and I also would love
to go home and just like date this girl at
this point, like it's a wrap for me. And they're like, well,
(06:17):
this invited and see she'll come. I'm like, are you serious?
And so I invited her. She said no five hundred
times and then she may yes. And so she meets
me in Stanta Fe for our most elaborate second date ever,
it was romantic and gorgeous, and then I invite her
to Hawaii and she's my person that I choose.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Oh so you were allowed to just spoil it like this, Yeah,
I just it's all out.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I'm just who knows, who knows? But you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Well, I thank you so much. So so talk about
what's dating like is after? Because you guys, she's in
Santa Fe. I'm assuming you're back in the city now.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Well, she lives in Miami.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
No, she lives she lives actually New York. I just
thought she was from She's like from Yeah, we had
our first date in New York City before I left,
and so I finally met with her in Orland or
in Miami. But she's just like, that's like, I'm from there.
So I just read her on my bread and so
I just ended up dating her when I came back.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
So, you guys might have the craziest love story of
all time because you're down in Florida. You match down
there while you're in Miami for your birthday.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Yeah, so you're.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Thinking, Okay, she lives in Florida. Yeah, and then you
find out that she's in the city. You guys, have
a date and then you're like, I'm going on a
TV show. Yeah, you go on the TV show. The
producers will like bring her on. Yeah, you'd ask her
a million times, she says no, finally says yes. So
then you guys have a date in Santa Fe and
then you go to Hawaii and you guys go back
(07:46):
to New York City to start dating.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Wow hilarious.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yeah wow, yeah, I mean that puts our story to shame.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Let's not compare.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Well, congrats on that, And so how long has it
been since you've finished filming?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (08:07):
When did we finish filming? We finished filming in May
of last year.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Oh wow, you guys have been together for a while.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
We've dated for a while. And so the beautiful part
about this is understanding the other side of everyone's relationship.
Like as a professional, so I worked with a lot
of influencers and artists, and when everyone's in part of
your business, it makes it very very difficult. And so
we've kind of just decided to not speak on what
we're doing right now, but we did date after the show.
(08:35):
I love her very very much, and yeah, I'm just
like I'm very excited to not involve everyone in my
current business. It feels so nice, so nice to protect
that in LA. So I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Oh that's so nice. So I mean, well, because we
are a dating podcasts, we do have to talk about it,
just the tiny.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Of course we can talk about it. We can talk
about it.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
So are you living together?
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Okay? Are you so? How old are you Ashley?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
I have a thirty one?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Okay, you guys so young? So are there you know,
are there any plans to move in together? Are you guys?
Do you think you'll stay in the city? I mean,
what's what's kind of the future look like?
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:19):
I mean I have learned in dating women that you
don't speak for women, and so I can tell you
what I hope you know, the future looks like. I
love New York City. I've moved here because I was
tired of living in LA and the goal was always
to be by coastal for me. And so I'm looking
(09:39):
at that like where I want to be. I don't
really necessarily want to be in LA. Do you want
to be back closer to San Diego, La Joya or
something like that. So That's where I'm looking and I'm
hopeful that we will meet somewhere in the middle and
be able to do that together. SINCEI coastal nature, she
also works remote, so I'm I'm hopeful that we can
(10:00):
figure out something that makes us both happy.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Your castmates didn't have such a unique story, I'm assuming,
and they ended up actually dating different people in different cities.
Was there one city that seemed to be the favorite
to dat in?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
I think everyone have a different answer to that. I
think obviously we've all had like a year to process
all of this now, so I'm sure you get a
different answer every month you talk to someone about it.
I think for Keison, she would probably say Seattle, And
I think maybe Chris would say I think he met
(10:41):
him in Seattle. I don't know what Reagan would say.
I don't really know. But everyone loved the aesthetic of
Santa Fe. It's like, what do we appreciate dating where
it was like we had some such a good time,
it was beautiful. As far as like the daters, I
think it just depends on Like who you really ask.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Did you notice any differences going from city to city
of the dating world or just culturally or just being
immersed in different parts of the country, being like wow,
It's crazy how different you know, I can see someone
trying to date here than it would be dating there.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Oh totally. I mean we live in like the biggest
city ever, So leaving here and then going immediately to Asheville.
My thirtieth birthday was like the biggest culture shock ever.
I think they said, happy birthday. Here is a like
cold plunge. I was like, oh, so you hate me,
Like I'm wait, yea cold plunge on.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Your thirtieth birthday as a tradition in Iville. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
No, I was just like that's how we started the show,
like the cleansing of everything. I'm like, day, where is
my tquette? They gave me ice and said, so yeah,
it was. It's very slow, you know. And so Jordan's
such a great person. But like you hear me kind
of going back and forth in that episode about like
(12:10):
how does role life work? Like I do what I do?
I like fujie things like I will go to nature
with you and do that, but don't ask me to
go camping. Where's the pool, where's the ocean? Where's my villa?
Those are like that's how I am, And so I'm like,
how do we work? You know? We're out here foraging
for our first date, like this, this is weird. Obviously
(12:32):
she's like not a forager, but still it was just like,
this is such a small town city. Yeah, Like there's
Hallmark movies that like where this works, whether you get
this person with the big city and they need this
like very wholesome person from somewhere quieter and it works.
But I'm like, I struggle to see that because I
see so much more of my career where I want
to go, go, go, go go, and so I think
(12:56):
we always had to each individually have those questions with
ourselves as like does this work for where I want
my life to be in the next year, in the
next five years, because I met a lot of great
people that I'm like, oh, you're awesome. This could be fun,
But I'm not really looking for fun. I'm kind of
I'm like, I'm looking for a partner who I can
like build a life with, who can you know, make
(13:16):
me want to be better and I can make them
want to be better and we do things that matter
to us.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
With the cast as a whole, did anyone decide to
move out of New York City to date after the
show because they're like, ah, it's so much better elsewhere.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Keison moved, but not for that reason. She was just
already over the city. She was like, I need a break.
I've been or forever. She's like a boss ass, like
real estate agent here, and she's like, I am tired.
So she went. I think all of most of her
family lives in Charleston, so she moved back there. Okay,
so I imagine it's way chiller.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
I'm much slower. There's no place as fast as New
York City.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
And so before you went on the date with Jess
in New York, you know, you had this idea that
you were going on this show and you're going to
date people from all around the country. Were you nervous
because you said your life is so go, go, go,
go go. Were you nervous, like, oh crap, what if
I meet someone who's from you know, Idaho and we
have a real connection and they don't want New York
(14:21):
City And I don't want that because you know, we
come from the Bachelor franchise. But this happens, and so
it happens with us as well. But with everybody in life,
whenever they travel or if they meet someone, it's a
very people I think always say oh, I'll move for
the love of my life, like I'll move for them,
and it's so easy to say, but it's way harder
to actually practically do and say, Okay, well, I'm going
(14:42):
to move my entire life for the person that I love,
because then that gets you know, grows resentment, and then
that becomes issues in the relationship. Did you have these
fears going into it.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
I was very skeptical going into it. I'm like, they
were very casting process, they were very honest with me,
and they're like, you date a very particular type of
woman that we're not going to find with you for
you with intention, like you date models. No, And I'm like, okay,
I'm open to not doing that. And so I think
(15:15):
at a subconscious level is like, either I'm going to
meet the love of my life and this is just
going to just be fucking hard, you know, going forward,
or I'm not going to meet anyone and whatever. It
crossed my mind. But I think selfishly I was just like,
who doesn't want to move to New York? Like you're moving
to me? Like I'm I'm not very.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
I don't think that Jared would be with me if
we had to live.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
In New York, there'd be a conversation to be had.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
He literally despises it.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
It's just so much. It's just not my lifestyle.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
The Queen, do you guys live Lord Island. I moved
there for him.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
She's the one who always told me I could live,
I could be happy anywhere. I'm like, okay, well, you
know Rhode Island here.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
We are you happy?
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Yes, a human being, I'm happy overall.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
There's some downfalls toys about it. I mean, it's not easy,
but it's chill.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
I'm sure, Oh.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
It's it's it's yeah, it's cool.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
It's fine right now, it's fine. It's the summer.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
So ask me again in a couple of when you
it's it's so crazy, as you know, in New York,
it's so it's so seasonal, especially Rhode Island. You know,
there's definitely a seasonal depressions. So like Jennery fervorite March
hits and she's like, this is the worst.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
It's likely. I mean, it's just like there's so many
things to do. It feels like a vacation is a
vacation state in the summer, because we're four minutes from
actually just sitting on the beach. So yeah, so it's
really really nice, like almost luxurious, and the other times
of the year, I'm like, oh yeah, I don't have
a community here.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Cool okay anyway, but not about us.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
I want to know, do you think that it's nicer
to date when there is a huge sea of millions
of people like in New York or when there's a
smaller pool somewhere else.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
So I don't know, because I don't feel like there's
this massive cool like being a lesbian. I feel like
I've seen all the lesbians in three places in New
York City and I'm like, where are there work? I
feel like they're not here, you know. And so I
(17:35):
never feel like there's millions of us, you know. And
I think that just comes from being like I'm in
a minority group. Like I don't ever feel like there's
just all these choices. I know there are, but I'm like, okay,
a lot of those people are married, or a lot
of those people are just visiting. Like you also never
know that too, Like who's just visiting? That's just like
out for a good time. So I feel like going
(17:59):
through the show now, I would say I like having
more choice than like, here are five matches, you must
pick one of these five people to have a good
time with or not. You know, yeah, I think I
just I definitely prefer more choice.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I hear you there. But it is an interesting question
because I was actually reading it was a a I
forget the name of the book, but it was a
Zizin Sorry's book that came out years ago, Modern Love
or something like that. But he was talking about how
the statistics of marriage had changed over the years, because
it used to be, you know, statistically speaking, people would
(18:34):
either most of the time marry someone you know on
their street, and then it expanded to neighborhood and then
city and then stay and now obviously it's all over
the place because we're such a connected world. Yeah, And
it's interesting to me because he talks about like the
positive and negatives about having so much choice, because there's
(18:56):
a lot of people out there who always view it
as the grass is greener on the other side comparably,
like totally sure you've experienced in New York that we've
all experienced in LA as well, where it's like you're
having a conversation with someone or you're a day with
someone and it always feels like they're waiting for the
next best thing, you know, like this is good, but
it could be better, and totally, there's so many opportunities
(19:17):
to have it better that they can they can give
it a shot.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Yeah, I mean, I think I, for the first time
in my life, understand that love is a choice and
is a commitment. And I think when you're young and
you live in major cities, like, yeah, it is always
totally just like this person like pisses me off once,
it's fine because there's someone else who won't miss me
off about the specific thing. And then that person doesn't,
(19:43):
you know, resonate with you on this and it's like
you're constantly never happy. And I think that's just the
testament to our generation, how we don't understand reality. Sometimes
I feel like that's not life. You know, You're never
going to find someone who is going to agree with
you on everything. It's like, does this person challenge you?
Does this person motivate you? Can you be your full self?
(20:05):
Can you fight? I think it's something you just don't learn,
you know, from school or your parents whatever. It's like
how to fight in a relationship and how to fight
for your relationship and so yeah, I mean it's just
it's such a different perspective when it's like you make
a choice. It's like, yes, there's all these people I
(20:25):
hear Angelina Jolies on the street really with so grow
and like I'm doing other things, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Yeah, I've always found that you can't choose who you love.
You know, you love who you love, but you choose
who you're committing to, and those are two separate things.
And so like, obviously I love you, don't choose to
love you. I just love you, but I choose to
commit to you. Yeah, but I do want to talk
about so Social because sure it's so interesting to both
(20:53):
of us because we're in the influencer world. How did
you get involved in this and how did you create
so Social?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Yeah, I mean I think it was just one of
those fate things. I have been in, like the digital
marketing space for ten years. I was freelancing for a
e comm company and did really good work for them.
I made them like their first million in like two
months or something, and they were like, when we go,
let me told all my friends. And one of their
friends happened to be Chris from Fanjoy and He's like,
(21:25):
he does like merch for influencers, and I'm like, at
that point, I didn't even like influencers. I was like, no,
I don't do that. I kept bugging me about it.
I'm like, no, they're posers. I don't like it, and
he's like, they're not, like you should he like, send
me some ratcles to read about. I don't even care
who it was specific. I was like, oh, she seems cool, okay,
And I got on the a call of Chris, who
was just one of the greatest you play ever meet.
(21:47):
And I worked with him for years and basically ran
all the marketing campaigns for all of his clients. And
then other people start reaching out to me, other big creators,
and then we happen to start working with artists, and
I'm like on the phone with Plus Phones manager and
now we're talking to Sean Mendes and all these people,
and I'm like it just kind of spiraled into this
(22:08):
is my niche and I love it. And then that
led me to beautiful covid where we were all alone
and had nothing else to do, and I was always
getting like damps from my influencers, like can you help
me do this? And I'm like, like, there's just no
way you can afford our FEA. I know that, and
so I was looking for books that didn't exist to
help and then I was like, is there like a
(22:29):
course that I feel like I'm confident that I could,
you know, recommend couldn't find one, And so I spent
most of the covid like building resources for my cridfuluencers
and through this list of like sixty thousand people, and
it's been crazy. It's definitely not something that I ever
was like, I want to do this cool, trendy thing
and this is going to be so fun. I was
just like, oh my god. Creatively, I just love it.
(22:49):
From and marketing perspective, what I loved about being a
media buyer was the agency that I worked. I was
having this freedom to build the assets and build the
landing pages and have creative stay and I feel like
a lot of that is prevalent in working with micro
influencers and creators at large, and so yeah, I just
(23:10):
I just kind of fell into it.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
What's one of your favorite brands to work with?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Who lets like the influencer be as creative as they want.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
As they want. Well, you know, honestly, I will say
my favorite to work with is the creator that owns
your brand, not a creator that's partnering with a brand,
because it's it's yeah, because they're in charge, you know,
and it's like the baby. It's their baby and they're
(23:50):
going to treat it like such. I mean, I've worked
with many creators that have large partnerships, and sometimes it's
just because they're so used to making bank and it
just doesn't matter. It's just another partnership that they don't
have that like passion for the campaign that's necessary for
their followers to connect to let me go sign up
for that lego follow mego purchase. And so it's always
(24:14):
fun to work with the creator that has, you know,
a clothing line or is dropping a single, or is
building you know, a new audience or a new platform
or something like that, because I can get behind that
entrepreneur vision. But I mean when Marshmallow did like collaboration
with best Buy, that was fun because it was so random.
I think it was like a toaster or something, and
(24:35):
I was like, did I read this slack right? Like
he has like a toaster we're promoting with best Buy,
Coco Colt tight type. This is such a weird day.
I love it.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Okay, then, what's one thing that Instagram viewer is just
the audience, like a regular non influencer should keep in
mind when watching influencers speak about brands. U.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
I know that everyone hates influencers talking about brands now,
and that like breaks my heart because everyone is my
job number two. It's just like, there are creators out
there that actually do care about the products that they're promoting.
I think there's a vast majority that do. And I
think don't write off this celebrity type because you feel
unrelated to them that they're speaking better product. Those chances
(25:23):
are that they really do, you know, care about the brand,
really do believe in the products, and give them a chance.
So don't just scroll, Like if you love someone enough
to follow them and engage with their content, like that's
also their business. See it as that, Like imagine me
going to to your Starbucks buying a Grande and leading
you tip, like, engage with their like this is their
livelihood and don't just assume that they are full of shit.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, and it's it's very true to people who have
been very lucky to work with brands and to promote
on their own social with ads. I mean the products
that we get, it's it's it is hard because we
do care about it so much and we want it
to do so well and we love the product. Like
I'm looking at my own Instagram because I was like,
what are some recent things that I've done, Like the
last one that I did was for Showcase Cinemas, and
(26:08):
I love going to the movie so much, and I
want people to go to the movies because I just
think that a theatrical experience is very important to the
movie going world. Theaters can never die for me. And
then also we did this.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Track of course We're gonna watch Peacocks.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, this one was really good. Yes, I
mean obviously I love Peacock. And then also there's just
it's so much fun, like there's these gel blasters. Anyway,
we don't talk about it, but point being is that,
like the brands that we work with, we really love
and we love the product that they do, and so
we're trying to promote it as best as possible because
we care about it and we do care about the
success of this company because they're choosing to work with us,
(26:49):
and we want to try to make sure that we're
as successful as possible when working in these partnerships. So
like for us personally, and I could speak, I feel
like for a lot of our friends who are also
doing similar things, that we really do care about these products.
It's not just like just getting a paid in then
moving on with our lives. Like we talk to these
brands a lot and their stories and how they got
started and how they're navigating the digital marketplace because it is,
(27:12):
as you can attest to much more than us. It's
it's still relatively a new world and evolving every day,
and so I'm curious where it goes how I think
I have two questions for you, because I know we
have to wrap quickly, but it is interesting to me.
So you've been in this market place for more than
ten years. You created so socially, you are very prominent
in social media and marketing.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Wrote a book about which what do you say is
a micro influencer? Is it like below a million or
is it like around the five hundred thousand mark or what?
Speaker 4 (27:42):
It really depends on who you ask, Like I would
say under one hundred thousand, you wouldn't consider like a
micro spilinster Okay, Yeah, there's like tiers, there's tears, like
micro fant.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Just because there's so many that have like.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
You feel like a macro influencer.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Well that's very set. But my question for you is
you said you've been in this business for ten years,
So what do you think has changed? Like, how is it?
Because everybody says, oh, the you know, advertising on the
Internet has changed so much. What do you think has
changed about it? And where do you find it headed?
Do you think that you know this marketplace for digital
(28:22):
social media brand partnerships? Do you think it's fading? Do
you think it's going to grow? Do you think it's
going to stay the same. Do you think that there
are certain social media platforms that are going to grow
more than others?
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Just should we stop trying to grow instead TikTok like.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
Threads? No? I mean, honestly, I think it's changed so
much for the good and the bad. So the good
in the sense that like people are demanding authenticity from
brands and some influencers.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
I think that is so important. I remember the day's
big marketer where you can be like, h, take these
pills and your heroll grows twenty three inches overnight and
you could just run that on Instagram and Facebook. You
can't do that anymore. That's a lie, that's fake. And
so I love that we are holding people accountable. What
(29:11):
I don't love is like people are jaded because of it.
So I think things need to adapt. I think creators
need to be creative on how they present you know,
their brand partnerships. And I follow a million people, I'm
constantly engaging a platform from that perspective of like, oh,
I didn't even realize that this is an ad. So
I think as a creator that's doing you know, brand partnerships,
you have to think of ways to present this content
(29:33):
in a way that doesn't feel like an ad because
people are so tired of seeing sponsored content and so
it's like really integrating it into your life into a
deeper way and not just going to the major platforms.
I think it's really important, like understanding your niche. So, yes,
have an Instagram. You're always going to make the most
(29:53):
play on Instagram. Right now, that might change. You're going
to make more money likely on Instagram than TikTok, just
because the fut the followers worth more threads. That's coming,
like we're getting ads that that's inevitable. Brand partnerships will
be there, and so I tell everyone that the most
underrated piece of marketing platform that you could have as
(30:16):
an email list. Brands will pay you more than you
could ever imagine for you to sponsor, like to to
a sponsored newsletter to people that actually gauge with your blist,
because that's valuable. You have insights on who they are
as people. You have you own that you know, and
so that gives you so much more leverage in negotiating
(30:39):
with brands and also building your own stuff. So, like,
you know, let's say you've done brand partnerships for ten
years and you're like, I want to do a T
shirt line. Well, now I have a list of ten
thousand people because I'm constantly just sitting in a newsletter
and like, you know, I talked to crewers like, well,
I'm not anything to talk about it. I'm going to
sell its, Like give them content they you don't post.
I'm sure you have a million photos and stories about
(31:01):
things that you didn't put in your stories that people
would love to hear about. Like it's things that you
don't think that are important are often the most important
impactful things to your community, and so there's so many
platforms that you can use to build that. But I
think really just having your list it doesn't take a
lot because if you have five hundred engaged people you
sell something, fifty percent of them buy something from you.
(31:22):
Like you're doing better than most sponsored Instagram posts.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
You know, that's all really great. I'm glad that you
said all that. The one thing that I just want
to go off of is that it sucks because so
many brands don't allow you to be as organic as
possible because they want you to hit like all these
points and they don't understand.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Because I just feel like there's some sort of we
need to have like a pow wow between.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Influencer and the brands because like we're like, no, no, this
doesn't work, and they're like, no, no, we need it this way.
It's like, do you really need it this way? Because
do you want the sales or do you just want
your like messaging out there? Yeah, because if it's a
messaging thing then sure, but if you the clicks, then
you're gonna have to do it this way. And yeah,
well we don't have to get into this. This is
really a personal conversation.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
But yeah, I mean, I think that's where it's like
forcing them to sit down and be educated. And it's
like you can't achieve two conversions at once. Is it's
either engagement or like yeah, some sort of conversion like
purchase or something like that. So it's like, yeah, you
can't grow your following and be like but also buy
my product. So that's where you're like as a creator,
you're you are presenting a long term relationship. So it's
(32:31):
like also like remind them like have you ever dated
in your life or not? Just like get in my bed,
Like you can't do that to your audience. Hi, here's
this brand just like casually using it, and you should
be you should be paid for that. So like one
post should really turn into five to ten sponsored posts
because if they actually want to make sales, that's how
(32:52):
you do it. If you do hail Mary of like
buy my buy my pillow, you're gonna maybe get one
sale from your super fan that's just obsessed with anything
that you do, Like what's the point. And if it's
about clout of like oh, this influencer, that's what I
tell brands all the time, and like don't come to
me and you understand, like your objective, it's about If
it's about like and Radaut posting about this for you, fine,
(33:14):
but if it's about like actually people engaging with your
brand and buying this, then we need to have a
different discussion because that's not what you want to do. Like,
this is not the objective that you want to actually
use for this campaign. So they live in dinosaur land.
It's very interesting to see how many brands and labels
(33:35):
and agencies still live like it's like two thousand and one.
I'm like, you do realize that influencers and creators run
the world, the digital world. They are in charge. They
move ountains. If you post tomorrow, like I mean, I
even think up my own show. I'm just like, use influencers.
You want people to know about something, use influencers, Like personally,
(33:56):
I'm not driving by a billboard to be like wow,
I should really watch that show. Like that's not what
anyone does anymore. It's really cool to say that that's happening.
But yeah, you guys move mountains. You guys draw attention.
We trust you because we follow your lives and you're
open and honest about what's going on, and we see
that you're human and your humanist allows us to be
persuaded to engage in the things that you're engaged with.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
It's really funny that you said two thousand and one,
because when you said, oh, it feels like brands are
still and I'm so old, I was like, Oh, she's
gonna say like the nineteen eighties, and then you're two
thousand and one. I'm like, yep, that was twenty two
years ago. Yeah, that would be.
Speaker 4 (34:30):
It's crazy, twenty.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Two years ago. Holy crap.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Yep, yep, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
I sure need I have back pain. Ashley, thank you
so much for joining us on the podcast We Were
the Best. You can check out on ab excuse me,
on Max Swiping America. Of course you own so you
can listen to Ashley on our podcast burn Creator and
of course buy her book whereas available wherever you can
buy her book. So it's called the Micro Influencers Brand
(34:57):
Partnership Bible Grow your income following a brand. Ashley Warren,
thank you so much for joining us your pleasure.
Speaker 4 (35:03):
Thank you both. You guys are awesome. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Bye bye bye, Sarah, thanks for listening. Follow us on
Instagram at help we suck at.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Being Newlyweds and email us at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Make sure to write us a review and leave us
five stars. We'll see you next time.
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