August 7, 2023 • 40 mins
Contrary to what you may think, it’s NOT that common for newlyweds to have sex on their wedding night, but Dean and Caelynn might take things to an entirely new level.
Dean has a surprising reaction to the reality that his adventuring days will end once they have kids.
Plus, hear all about Dean’s near-death experience while mountain climbing!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Help We Suck At Being Newlywed?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
With Dean Ungler, Kylen Miller Keys and Jared Haven, an
iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
What is going on? Everybody?
Speaker 4 (00:09):
Welcome to an all new episode of Help We Suck
At Being Newlyweds. We are all in different locations today.
I am joined by the beautiful, angelic, perfect, intelligent, kind
sweet Jared Haven.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
I'm just kidding to.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Say, what did he do? Why is he sucking up
so badly?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I was gonna say. Kaylin Miller Keys is joining us
from somewhere in the middle of Ohio. Right, is that
where you are?
Speaker 5 (00:38):
Yes? Yes, that's where I am.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
And Jared's joining us leeveless from his home in Rhoe Island.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I would think right home in.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Rhode Island, do I mean? I've been up since like
seven thirty. But you know what it was. I find
that I look best with bedheads, so I didn't do
I didn't put a hat on, I didn't put a
product in my hair. I went to run errands, and uh,
here I am. I've been working. So I got a
new car, I got a truck. I've been working on
this truck.
Speaker 6 (01:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I feel like there's times though, when I drive the
truck where I'm like, should I be blasting kid rock
and have two American flags on this thing?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Like that?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Is this a prerequisite? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Let me guess what.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
Let me guess what kind of truck you got? You
got a two thousand and twenty two Ford f one fifty.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Ooh so close. It is a twenty twenty two. It's
a year old, but it would be a gmc denali.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Ah, dude, congratulations. Welcome to the Nanikes Club.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Welcome. Do you have a truck?
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Yeah, I got Toyota to columb on twenty twenty two.
It's my pride and joy, my sweet baby, that my
that gets me in all these mountains that I'm trying
to climb out here.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
So it's you know, truck life is good.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Do you have a car in Colorado?
Speaker 5 (01:49):
Dean has like ten vehicles.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Excuse me, I drove it from Nevada. I'm like, I'm sleeping.
I'm like living in the truck when I'm in Colorado,
not now, not when.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
We record, because you know, it's nice to have a
hotel room and Wi Fi and stuff. But I drive
it to the trailhead, which requires four wheel drive, so
I couldn't bring the van, and then I sleep in
the truck bed and then I go and hike.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Sleep in the truck bed. Is it exposed tonight?
Speaker 6 (02:14):
No.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
I got like a cap over the top of it,
and I put like a bed frame in it.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
It's it's nice.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
It's really nice. It's like a five star hotel on wheels.
Maybe like a four star hotel. All right, maybe it's
like a three star hotel.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Yeah, let's just keep going down and be more risk
and realistic. So you have the truck, you're the van.
You have a motorcizer cycle and a Superman, and.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Then I have a super U And I'll tell you what.
Every car has its purpose. The van obviously gets used
for van things. The truck gets used for the truck things,
and for this mission that I'm on right now. The
Subaru is used when I'm in Las Vegas and the
truck is in Colorado, and like if I fly back
or something, then the motorcycle, as we've talked about on
this podcast, is in Los Angeles permanently, so I can
drive that whenever I visit Los Angeles.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
For that having to get nubers, so it all works out.
It all works out. But let's talk about cars.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
I want to hear from Kaylen if that's okay with you, guys, Kylen,
tell us about what you're doing right now. Can you
share anything or do you want to kind of keep
it close to the chest.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
I can share.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'll be gone by the time this airs. But I'm
just in a cabin in the woods and Hawking Hills,
which is like an hour outside of Columbus, just a little, quick,
little girls trip. I've only been to Ohio a couple times,
and Hawking Hills keeps popping up on my Instagram. One
of my friends lives out here, so came out and
(03:31):
it is so beautiful. So there's three cabins and like
these massive windows everywhere so I can see this beautiful pond.
There's like a family of four right by us, and
then this little couple. So it's like our own little
sanctuary out here.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
That's nice. What have you guys been doing?
Speaker 6 (03:46):
Well?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Got in last night, got in the hot tub, made dinner.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
We made a nice girl dinner. I don't know if
you've seen that on TikTok, but we made mac and cheese.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Oh on TikTok. Now, I haven't really been on TikTok much.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
But it does look beautiful out there, and I guess
you just got there yesterday, So maybe if we had
this podcast today from now we get more experiences. But
what do you guys plan on doing? Are you going
to go on some hikes? Are you going to go kayaking?
Are you going to swim in the lake?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
What are you going to do?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, we're planning on going on some hikes, but apparently
this past winter didn't get super cold, so the ticks
that we're supposed to die didn't die, and ticks season
is really really bad, so I'm a little nervous to
go on a hike.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
We need to find like some tick repellent before we
do that.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Well, that sounds lovely, Caitlin.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
It looks like you're having sounds like you're having fun,
and I'm excited to hear all about it when we
get home next week, and I want to see some pictures. Yeah,
it sounds like you're having fun. That's great.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Do any of your friends, like, so, how many girlfriends
do you go with?
Speaker 5 (04:45):
This time? It's just me and another friend?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Okay, so it's just two of you. Does she have kids?
Speaker 5 (04:49):
No?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
All right, damn it because I'm really trying to figure
out how like logistically we can do this because I
think Ashley really needs a girl's trip, and so you know,
I'm trying to figure out exactly, all right, how do
I send them away? Where can I send them to?
And then I just got to make sure I take
care of Dawson. But I kind of wanted to be
a surprise. I guess I'm spoiling it from the podcast.
But I don't know, do you get You gave me
(05:11):
an idea when you said girl's trip?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Why can't she just like organize a girl's trip by yourself.
Why do you have to send her away?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I don't have to, but I think it would be
a nice gesture, uh, because the problem is, like we've
talked about in Rhode Island. I'll tell you a quick story.
Yesterday I got out of work and my buddy texted me.
He was like, hey, do you want to golf? I
got out of work around like three and this he
was like, do you want to golf?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
At four thirty?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
And the country club you belonged to is it takes
freaking forever because it's the millin nor So it takes
It took us like a little over an hour to
get there, but then Ashley. So I asked Ashley and
she's was very hesitant. She's like, yeah, you know, because
she was home with Dawson and then she wants to
do something with me because she doesn't have any other
friends of Rhode Island, and so she's like, can I
can Dawson and I come? I said, yeah, of course.
(05:57):
So she was texting with Kenny, my buddy because we
had you know, we're all friends. And they were driving
there and I was like, all right, what are you
gonna do? Well, yeah, I golf. I'll only you know,
golf for like an hour and forty five minutes in
the nine host and she's like, no, We're gonna come
on the cart with you. And it was Dawson an Ashley,
and I was like, oh okay. And then we were
running late were I was already stressed because I just
(06:17):
worked at three. I was running literally. I was texting
my buddy being like, I'm just gonna jump on the
tea with you because there's no tea times afterwards. And
I was getting there directly the minute the tea off time.
But then of course she was like, oh no, Dawson
and are coming with us. I'm like, actually, it's gonna
take it forever to get him out of the car
and in the car and like get this going, and
then he's gonna be crying on the freaking golf course
and we're gonna get kicked out of this country club
(06:37):
because we'd have a crying baby on the course. I
didn't say that because I was like, it's okay. So
of course we get on the course. He starts. He
wasn't too fussy, but he was like fussy enough. We're
driving past into the hole and they're like looking at
us because we have a baby on this golf court.
Who was like wow. I'm like, oh Jesus Christ. So
they ended up leaving after the second hole. Long story short,
I felt terrible because then I was like, all right,
never run. I don't want golf anymore because it's too stressful.
(07:00):
I can't even hit the ball off the tee because
like I'm just Dawson's making too much noise in the background.
I'm too focused on that. And then of course I'm
having this realization in my head that the only way
Ashley has fun in Rhde Island is when she just
does things with me because we don't have that friend group.
So this was all happening in my head. So she
left after the second hole, and then I was like,
I'm walking off the course. I'm not going to let
you guys just go and do your own thing if
you weren't planning on it. She's like, no, we'll be fine.
(07:21):
Just finish the nine holes. So then like she was
walking away with Dawson, but she didn't pick him up
and walked away. She like was letting him walk. So
of course he was just like staring at me, and
I'm like, I'm the worst father of all time. This
is horrible. I'm choosing golf over my son. So I'm like, nope,
I'm leaving. She's like no, no, no, you're staying. You're golfing.
I'm going over here. We're fine. And so we were
arguing about that and I'm like, this is so fucking stupid.
(07:43):
And then a long story short, I ended up finishing
that holes. I played terrible because I couldn't get out
of my own head. And then we just had a
long conversation so about like I feel terrible because it
feels like, you know, we don't have that dynamic right
now where you can do your own thing and I
can do my own thing and we could be happy
doing it because we're just not in that mode. So
(08:03):
when Caylen you mentioned the girls trip, I'll was like, oh, okay,
if I can, you know, I want her to do
her own thing and be happy, you know what I mean.
I want her to be happy with her friends. Yeah,
It's like maybe if I send her on a girl
strip with Lauren or something like just to get away
for a couple of nights without Dawson. I know she
missed Dawson, but she'll be so all have like adult time.
So that's my thought process.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
That that's that's something I think that'll get better in
a couple in a couple of years. Right Like if
Dawston could if Dawston's like four and he's like more
aware of what's going on, you could just bring him
just Dawson and then as she could go off and
do whatever she wanted to do. Because I feel like
once you get past the hump of like fully having
the babysit, not babysit, but like you know, give a
hundred percent of your attention to the kid while it's
(08:46):
still so young. But when it gets a little older
at least you'll have some more leeway with that. But
I will say I've gone I've gone golfing it with
Kayln a couple of times in the cart and she
doesn't play, but she'll like sit with me, Kaylen, and
you can attest to this. And every time we've done it,
maybe like three times total, twice in the past like
six months, and both of those times in the past
six months, I've every time I would hit the ball,
(09:07):
I'd be like, Kaylen, this is the most fun I've
ever had playing golf.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
It's great.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
You gotta play golf, you'd one of your favorite hobbies.
And then you get to go back into the cart
and sit next to the love of your life.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Well, who could ever possibly complain about that?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
You know, it's different when you have a crying baby, obviously,
but like you know, mine is the baby.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
It's pretty nice.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yeah, And I feel bad because Dawson is like peque Dawson.
I love being around in so much right now. He
is just the best. He is happy, he's uh just
so energetic and he you know, like like we talked about,
like he's just that that that that that and it's like, dude,
that is just the best feeling in the world. So
(09:46):
that was the other problem was that, like he was
walking away and I'm like, no, I don't want you,
like I would rather go with you than golf right now.
But then of course Ashley was like, no, I feel bad.
You work all the time. You should golf, and I'm like, no,
like I feel bad. You don't want to be in
RhE Island and you live here. So it's just like
a tale, you know, that old that old song and dance.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Caitlyn.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
Can you weigh in on from a woman's perspective on
this situation.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
Well, being childless? I don't. I don't think so, but yeah,
yeah I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It would be nice when we eventually have kids to
you know, partake in your hobbies with you, but it
just sounds like it's a bit stressful, like my hobbies.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
No, Like, you know, Dean loves to golf.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
So when we have kids, you know, do what you
guys try to do, bring the kid on the golf course.
But it just sounds it sounds a little challenging.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Oh yeah, I mean we do. Ashley always does this
and I love her so much for wanting to do it,
because she's always so optimistic about the thought of doing
something rather than the practicality of doing it. For example,
anytime we go out, it's like, oh, we should go
out to dinner. I'm like, yeah, we need a babysitter.
She's like, no, we'll bring Dawson. Like, Ashley, why do
we continue going down this this cycle of misery where
(11:02):
we go to dinner, we bring Dawson. He's fun, but
it's just like it's not relaxing because our entire attention
pit span is on him, like don't do that, don't
pick that, No, you can't have that. Nope, We'll just
get his food as quick as possible. Yes, please, just
bring his food as fast as humanly possible. And then
he gets his food, and then we get our food
and he's like trying to reach for Oz and he's
crying because he sees us eating different food than him
(11:24):
and he wants whatever food we're eating. So then we
put on miss Rachel just to enjoy a dinner, and
then we're like, Okay, we'll take the check and get
out of here. And we're like, oh, that was nice, yeah,
very nice. But it's like it's just a constant feeling
of guilt, where like all we're doing is focusing on Dawson,
so we never sit down and have a conversation. And
then by the time our food comes, I feel terrible
because it's like, all right, we're gonna put Miss Rachel
on so we can eat. And then I'm like, well,
now we're just putting a phone in front of him,
(11:44):
so why are we even going out to eat? At
least if we were home, we'd be able to like
interact with him or put something on the background on
the TV and then like eat while we're like playing
music or whatever. But anyway, this is the joy of
having children, ladies and gentlemen, and the problem Dawson. Jesus,
you know I was just called you Dawson.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I'm flattered.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
You should be. He's a very good looking kid. But
what I was going to say, time is ticking. You know,
we gotta start in number two if we want siblings soon.
So you know, it's just like we're going to do
it all over again, so here we go.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Buckle up.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Yeah, but it'll be it'll be better the second time,
because then you'll have a two year old. Dedicated babies
two year older dedicated babysitter for when that kid is
too you'll have a four year old that can watch
the two year old.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah, that's what people are telling us that, Like Dawson's
actually gonna be.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
A help right, right, right right at least, maybe not
like super helpful at first, but he'll like work his
way into it. It's so interesting to hear you talk
about it because my oldest brother has a baby who's
the exact same age as Dawson, and he his his
not gripes, but like his comments about being a dad
are so similar to yours.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
They're a little different.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Like they just took their baby camping for the very
first time this past weekend, and he said it was
like one of the hardest things he's ever done. But
like similar to like you, like, you know, you go
out to dinner and it's like challenge, why are we
even doing this? But in the broad scheme of things,
it's like probably a good thing rather than just like
staying home with the baby until the baby's old enough
to talk or whatever, you know. But yeah, it's just interesting.
(13:10):
And then he's talking about a lot of that too.
He's like once the baby or once my baby child
is old enough because he like used to be a
really big rock climber and now he has to not
has to, but I guess gets to be on dad
duty a lot more often. He's like not able to
climb as much. So he's like when I'm fifty years
old and he's like forty. Now, It's like, when I'm fifty,
I'm going to be the strongest fifty year old rock
(13:30):
climber in the world because I'll be able to either
take the kids to the climbing gym or they'll be
able to stay home while I go out and do
the things that I'm interested in. So I think it's
just like a matter of delaying the things that you
want to do for like five or ten years and
then be getting really.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Good at it later on. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, I've accepted that. I don't think Ashley has because
she's like, I want to do it now, and I'm like,
totally I understand because she's like, why can't we just
go out to dinner, Like why can't we do this?
I'm like Ashley, every parent in the world has informed us,
like get traveling and all the things you want to
do out of your system, because when you have kids,
You're gonna have to just not do a lot of
the things that you want to do for a few years.
(14:07):
So I was like, we've gotta gotta gotta get through it.
Gotta get through it. And he's so much fun at home.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Caitlyn, how would you do with that? Do you think?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I was just thinking how how the both of us
would deal with that. I feel like we both have
very independent lives that I feel like, you know, who knows,
you know, we don't have kids, and we don't know
how hard it would be.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
But I feel like you'd still be able to.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I'd watch baby Debbie or baby Hunter, and you'd go
off and do your thing for a few days, and
then you know, you'd watch the babies and I'd go
do my things. But yeah, it'll be challenging because right
now we can just pick up and go and travel
and do whatever we want.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
So I'm taking the baby with me wherever I go.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I know you say that, But the reason that I'm
so hesitant in having kids right now is because I
just love our freedom so much.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
M It is nice. It is nice to have the freedom.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Yeah, freedom is so great, right, Jared, I mean right,
Klein isn't freedom just so great? The fact that we
can just pick up and go to Ohio or Colorado
for as long as we want. But at the same
time too, Jared always talks about how much he loves
baby Dawson and how he's the most important thing in
his life and ever will be.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Oh yeah, so it's like, you know, there.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Is would I would happily, like as much as it
sucks to sacrifice freedom, I would happily sacrifice my freedom
for Dawson, you know, like I would ever change.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
I would gladly be like a homebody for four years.
I think.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
I think if we had a baby, I would just
be a homebody for four years.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
That's crazy coming from you.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
I swear I would do it.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
I could find new hot I'm pretty good at finding
new hobbies where I could do them from home that
I would like find fulfilling. I think, like whether it's
you know, building stuff around the house. Maybe I'll pick
up the sacks again. Maybe that kid is going to
grow up to be a jazz musician because I'm playing
the sacks for four years and then he picks it
up and starts playing better than me all of a sudden,
because I'm pretty bad at it as it is.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
You could hike with the baby too, hike close by
the house.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
Mm.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Yeah, that's not like super fulfilling to me. But I'm
just saying I feel like I can find something. It's
different for us in our current situation, obviously because Jared
has the ten hour a day twelve our day job
that he does with Audrey's and we don't.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
So I think we're kind of.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
For We would force ourselves to find something to stay busy,
which is a.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Good That was the giant mistake Dawson was not Have
you guys talked about going on your honeymoon? Like I
feel like you mentioned South Africa at some point. Is
that still go?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah, I'm working on the hotels right now. We would
start in Cape Town and spend like three or four
nights in Cape Town and then go over and do
like a safari for a week, just trying to figure
out like where to go.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
So I'm not too knowledgeable about South Africa except from
what I've seen in Blood Diamond. But Cape Town, there's
Johannesburg in Capetown. Correct, Yes, one is more dangerous than
the other.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
Correct, Dean's nodding, So I guess, so.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, Johannesburg is more dangerous, joe Berg is more dangerous.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Yeah, got it.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
So you're going to Cape Town. Very nice.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
I've heard we'm going to joe Burg. We might get
a little danger in our lives.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Why not. I don't welcome the danger.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
You're not planning this trip. You don't get to say, yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Oh, but I'm going on it, so I don't.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
It's my honeymoon, and I don't get to say if
we get our experience a little bit of danger, come on.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Not if you don't help plan it, you gotta put
the legwork in bro.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Mm hm, Well, I haven't been asked to help plan anything.
And I feel like we're still in the preliminary phases.
We don't even know when we're going. We don't even
know if we're going. I thought we're going to the Maldives.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
Oh we do.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
We have the Belmont booked for four nights in Cape Town.
So now we just have to figure out the safari part,
which is being worked on.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
So you're going, yeah, we're going. And Dean, the idea
of Kaylin planning the trip, not asking for your opinion
and letting you know that because you didn't plan it,
you don't have a say in what the itinerary is.
That's just called marriage, bro, So.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Just get yours up.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Yeah, and it's gonna be the most perfect honeymoon. We'll
have the spa, we'll have tennis, we'll have great meals.
There's like this beautiful farm to table picnic with a
swing and yeah, it's gonna be great. He's gonna have
a great time. Lots of you know, murderous animals.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
It sounds like exactly like your kind of trip spas, tennis,
farm to table picnic. That's exactly like something you're gonna
absolutely love. And that's that's all I care about.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
That's Cape Town.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
And then the Safari is like, you know, more for
you waking up at five am, waking up for sunrise
taking photos.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Yeah, it's a good mix of both of us.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Like Jared said, if you're planning it, you might as
well plan for your own interests.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
I am no, I agree. I think that's how you should.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
If I was more worried about it and I started
getting concerned about not having fun for myself, which I
will obviously, I would jump in and say no, no, no, no, no,
we're not doing this. We would do this instead. But
you know, I want you to go and have fun
and do the things that you want to do, and
then maybe I can work in some of my interests
while we're there too.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Well, yeah, I figured you wouldn't play tennis, so you
could go do your own thing while I'm playing tennis.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Well, who are going to play tennis against?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
The Belmont has a tennis coach, so I'm going to
play as a coach.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Hopefully he's not too good looking.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
No, I hope he is. I hope he is good looking.
I want Kaylen to it's.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Going to be like a long Tam Polly with the
scuba instructor for Scoopa.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Are you for tennis, Kalen? Yeah, that would stink. I'd
feel really bad about that. But well, Dean, if.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
You were to plan a honeymoon, where would you go?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Hmm? Oh?
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Man, if I were to plan, well, I mean we
kind of agree. South Africa would the move for us.
I just would do it a little differently, not better
by any stretch of the imagination.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I'm curious because you told me Cape Town. I was like,
how long do you want to spend in Capetown and
you're like Cape Town for three to four days and
then we'll do the safari the rest of the time.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
I'm following your instructions.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Oh, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
I'm not being critical of your planning at all. I'm
saying I would I would just focus more on the
stuff that you could only do in South Africa, like
the so far, like you don't go to South Africa
to play tennis, not that you shouldn't play tennis when
you're in South Africa, but like you go to South
Africa for the animals, for the for the outdoors, whatever
it is. But I agree with your approach. Like half
(20:38):
and half is kind of what we would want to
do is like five days at a nice place where
we can relax and just kind of like lays around
and do whatever we wanted, whether you play tennis or
play golf, and then like seven days doing a safari
where we're going to get a bunch of cool pictures
and see a lot of cool animals and that kind
of stuff that's got that. I mean, if I were
to plan it would be very similar to how you're
(20:59):
doing it.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
You're just better planning what I am.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Wait, So, so you would be planning the same trip essentially,
just a little different.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yeah, I just like, you know, I just like being
critical of everything and everyone all, oh my gosh, No,
but you're doing great, and I think we're gonna have
an awesome time.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
I hope it ends up happening.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
I know you said you already got the hotels kind
of figured out, or at least starting to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
We're still like, what five months away. I've been going
on this thing.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
So we're going to South Africa for our honeymoon. We
just I just need a book flights, and then the
flights kind of sucks. So we would fly to Europe
and then Europe to South Africa. So I think we
should spend a couple of days in Europe and then
go to South Africa.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Right, well, United is a direct flight from from Newark
to South Africa. So maybe hey, United Airlines, if you're
listening to this, we're going on our honeymoon. We would
love a direct flight from Newark to South Africa. Please
help us out because we really need it. Thank you
very much. That's right, United, That's how we're looking, Jared.
How are you guys looking on booking your accommodations for
our wedding. I guess getting any closer to that because
(21:58):
time is a ticking.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Dude, Ashley does all that? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
At this point, I'm worried you guys aren't gonna come.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Of course we're coming. When is it just kidding?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Dude? All right? I hope.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
So we've had some wedding controversy on this podcast in
the past, and so.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I don't know. Come for the guy I don't.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Booked his flight, which was so sweet, Like eight months
before the wedding, he was like, Oh, my flight's booked,
I'm ready to go, and I'm like, this guy unbelievable,
so awesome. And then the day of the rehearsal dinner, Oh,
I by my flight got canceled. I'm re routed to
Boston and I got to drive down. I'm like, oh, dude,
(22:38):
that sucks, Like I can't believe your flight got canceled,
blah blah blah blah blah. And then I just found
out that he missed his flight, but I still.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Made it for the rehearsal dinner.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I still still made it for then, that's right. I
gave him great speech, great speech.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
I totally forgot about that and then I was super
hung over the next day.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Your wedding was a lot of fun. I did have
a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Well, you guys will have a lot of fun at
your wedding too. Just make sure you soak it all in,
don't stress, learn any planning.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
I learned a few things from that, though. I don't
think I'm gonna drink it all at our wedding, at least.
I don't want to be bloated. I don't want to
be hungover, so I'm probably just gonna stay sober. And
Mike Jared said, soak it all in.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
The problem with you, Dean is it feels like you
can't have one drink. It feels like you're the type
of person not to like put tags on you, but
it feels like you are unable. If you crack one open,
game is over.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Oh yeah, well, alcoholism runs in my family and that's
definitely part of it.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
And once I have one sip.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
It's it's game on, and no one knows what's gonna
happen next. So that's why I think i'd just be
best to avoid it altogether. And I haven't really been
drinking very much lately at all, and I'm starting to
finally get in good shape. So yeah, if if I
stay sober, I'll stay slim and I'll stay sexy, and
my bride will think I'm handsome and cute, and so
(23:59):
that's enough of a and for me to stay sober.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
You know, have you guys been actively thinking about that
because you're both in have always been in great shape.
Have you been trying to even get in better shape
for the wedding or is it just whatever Dean has.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Been Dean, that's his main goal for doing the fourteen
ers right to be.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Hot and sexy for you. Yeah, that's that's a big
one for sure.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, you've lost a lot of weight. It's very impressive.
You didn't need to lose weight. I know you're just
very critical of your body, but you've done a great job.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
I need you start doing like crunches or push ups
or something, because while I'm getting slimmer, I need to
still maintain some muscle mass. So I need to get
into the gym, maybe like a month before the actual ceremony.
But you've been killing it. You're doing pull ups, you're
doing squat lunge extension things. Every time I look at
your Instagram, stories. You're doing some new workout I've never
heard of.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Yeah, my pull ups are pull up, they're assisted pull ups.
They're not real pull ups, but they are fun and
the gym's been fun.
Speaker 5 (24:54):
I started working.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Out like more consistently and harder, I feel like around
the time of got engaged, and solely for the wedding.
But now I just like really enjoy the way I
feel so and I've heard from so many people they like,
work out so hard for the wedding and then they
just stop. And I'm really hoping I can like incorporate
this long term and make it a part of my routine.
And I'm not just gonna stop after the wedding.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
But we'll see.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
You will if you feel great and you keep working out,
you will.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Are you satisfied with the results so far? You got
some crazy abs lately?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I I, you know, I am happy with it. It's just,
you know, being a woman, my body ebbs and flows,
and depending on what time of the month it is,
that's pretty frustrating.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
It's like, I work out so hard.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
And then you know, my period comes and I'm bloated
and feel like crap. So I'm just I'm just adjusting
to that, and I'm cycle sinking, which I've heard a
lot of people talk about on TikTok, and I think
it's really helped me, like not only with emotions, but
also with my body as well, and like being more
(26:00):
you know, positive in terms of my body.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
That makes sense, that's great.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Cycles sinking, cycle sinking. Yeah, So within your cycle, you
have four phases. There's the liteal phase and I forget
the rest. There's one that's ovulating, there's one that's your spirit,
and then there's one more. And so with every phase
there's like certain things you should be eating. There are
follicular phase, thank you Easton, So there are certain things
(26:28):
you should be eating, certain ways you should be working out,
or like you know, being easy on your body. And
it's good to understand because sometimes I'm like I'm angry
right now or why am I feeling sad? And so
cycle sinking just really helps you understand your body a
lot better. And there's you know, people who talk about
this and do a much better job of it. But
it has been interesting and really helpful so far.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Nice. That's cool.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
How did you know that?
Speaker 5 (26:56):
It's a very quick response. There's a podcast I work
on called scrubbing in with Cotillon tin you're at and
tiny's very into cycle sinking. I know a lot about
cycle sinking.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Got it, That's what I telling more than me nice
because I felt like it really has been there for
a second.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Yeah, well, I.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Also feel for not knowing about the sinking side I've got.
I've got a potentially TMI question, Caitlyn. I feel free
to just brush this off. Do you know, because you
can kind of plan when your cycle is going to
be every month, do you know where in the cycle
you'll be for our wedding weekend?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yes, it keeps changing and it's pretty upsetting. So I
was supposed to be ovulating on the day.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Of our wedding. Let's see around now now I think.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I think now I'm supposed to be pmssing on the
day of our wedding. Wait, let's see. Oh my god,
yeap pmssing.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
No, just gonna say no, bro.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
But uh, yeah, it keeps changing. So we'll see.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
My brother and his wife conceived on the day of
their wedding, so you know, we might. I guess we
can't fall on those footsteps, which is unfortunate, but it.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Is what it is.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
Yeah, it's probably for the best.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
Maybe we'll have a wedding day miracle.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
Who knows.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
I bet a lot of married couples I would say
more than fifty percent more often than not do not
have sex on their wedding night because.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
It's just so like tiring and stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Yeah. I was just talking to my friend about this.
She said they got married and then took photos and
then in between I guess the reception while people were
at cocktail hour right after, She's like, let's just have
sex because I know we're not going to have it
after the wedding. So they just went in the room,
had sex, and then came out and started partying.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Nice, let's do that.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
That's crazy, man. Yeah, I don't know if I would
feel I guess I would be fine. Right, you just
go you have sex, but then you're like, Grandma, thank
you so much for coming. You know, it's yeah, it's
oh man, this is tm I. But you guys ever
(29:06):
get like like post guilt, you know what I mean.
You're like, I can't let anybody see it, like, you know,
like see us right afterwards. I need like a minute
to just be like, oh, okay, no, we're fine, No.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
No way.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
When I walk out with my shoulders held high, walking
out like a freaking like a batle evil, and no
one knows why either, you know, And that's how I
like it too.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
I don't want anyone to know what's going on.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
I just want them to see my confidence stretch that
I'm that I'm having so.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
But you know, and that's all that matters.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Yeah, I know, that's all that matters.
Speaker 4 (29:39):
I can say, maybe we should do it before the ceremony,
but that would be that'd be bad because we have.
Speaker 5 (29:44):
To wait the first look it's for sex.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yea, yeah exactly, but that'd be bad
because we have to wait until we're married to even
engage in that type of action.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Obviously, yah, of course.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
But you know what's hard is We've been to weddings
where you know, either the groom and the bride or
one or the other is saving themselves for marriage. And
I've talked to people afterwards, like the bride afterwards, and
she's like, it's so awkward because so many people are
talking about it at the wedding and like then everyone
knows like that night you're gonna have sex for the
first time, and it's just like it feels so invasive,
(30:18):
you know.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
M Yeah, I think before our wedding, Calen, we should
go through a process to be born again virgins.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
I wonder what that would look.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Like, like, what does our virginity mm hmm, what kind
of hoops we'd have to jump through in order to
like get that confirmed, you know, with the church or
whoever it might be. But like that'd be nice to
go into our wedding both pure.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Both pure.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
Well, I don't like it because you hate church, so
that would never happen.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
Yeah, but I'll still do it, you know. I think
it'd be fun fun to say we both lost our virginity.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
On our wedding night.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Yeah, he'll do it for the podcast.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
You don't really cont that, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
I wonder how long you have to not have sex
for in order to be considered a born again virgin?
Speaker 5 (31:03):
You know, I think it's I think.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
It's just like faith wise, you just like maybe go,
you know, I'm probably making this up. Go to your
pastor and you do a lot of work in like
months of like prayer and stuff, and then I don't know,
but that sounds like it's right.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Can it be like done overnight? You know what I mean?
You guys should the day before, you know, just be like,
all right, let's go get this over with, so tomorrow
we can be born.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
Again, like an online certificate or something, just like a
quick expedited.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Version where I just thought a form. Yeah, I mean
there's everything for that these days.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
If I want to be ordained, all I have to
do is jump online real quick and fill out a
survey or whatever.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
There's got to be a way to do it for
born again virgin too.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Oh yeah, it's probably all on the same website. You
can get ordained, you can get groupons for skiing, and
you can get a certificate to be a born again virgin.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Nice. Yeah, I think we should explore it. We need
to explore it. But I think we've offended enough people
as it is. Maybe we should move onto something else.
Speaker 6 (32:01):
Nah.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Never, Oh I.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Almost died the other day. I can talk about that
real quick.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
How'd you almost die?
Speaker 6 (32:06):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Yeah, I almost fell off a mountain. I sent Kaylen
a video of it.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
It was pretty, Uh, it's pretty It's kind of hard
to see in the video of exactly what happens, but
I was walking down like this super narrow ridge really
high up off the It was like a two thousand
foot ridge that's like maybe two feet wide, and I
like stepped down and I slipped, And if I slipped
and fell, I would have fallen two thousand feet and died.
(32:32):
But I caught myself really quick and I got it
all on video, which might have helped. It might have
been the reason why I slipped, but I don't think so,
because it was in my hands and it was my
feet obviously that slipped. But you can like see my
foot like sputter out and then I like catched myself
on the rock at the last second, and it.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Was pretty terrifying. And then I had the video.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
So I was like, I probably shouldn't send this to Kaylin,
But in hindsight, since I survived, like it's pretty funny.
So I did, And yeah, that was my experience almost dying.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Yeah, it would have been funny if Kaylen witnessed your
death on video and she got it sent to you,
you know, sent to her.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
I gotta say, though, like, you know, if you are
going to almost die, it's pretty cool to have it
on camera. Like it's of all the things to have
on camera, that's a cool thing they have on camera.
So when it happened.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
I like, I wasn't scared, and I wasn't like, oh
that was a close one. I was in my head.
I was like, thank god, I was recording.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
How many close calls have you had.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Hiking wa is not.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Really any Like that was probably the biggest one, the
one like that was the biggest one, where like it
was pretty obvious I was like a couple of inches
away from death, whereas maybe before there have been close calls,
but it hasn't been so obvious, you know, like I
don't I don't know specific examples, but like that one
was like if I if I continued to fall just
a little bit more, I would have been done.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
So so that was that was quite an experience.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Is there ever a point where he would I have
such a close call where you would say, listen, you
need to stop, you can't do this anymore.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Well, yeah, we talked about this, like his fourteen ers specifically,
and it has been causing me a lot of anxiety,
just this one in particular, these three, because his friend,
who was fearless, said it was the scariest one, like
the most dangerous one. He wasn't scared the whole time
on this fourteen or expedition until this one, So I
wasn't sleeping for like three days leading up to it,
(34:27):
and while you were climbing. I didn't tell you this
because I don't like to tell him when I'm anxious,
to like put that anxiety on him when he's already
doing like really scary stuff. But like it's like one
hundred and ten degrees in Vegas, and I was like shaking,
like shivering like it had such bad anxiety, and.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
I was like, is he alive?
Speaker 3 (34:44):
Is he alive?
Speaker 2 (34:44):
I'm like checking stories of the friends that he's with.
He's not texting me back, his satellite phone's not texting
me back like nothing, and I'm like the last time
his friend posted was two hours ago and then he
texted me like twenty minutes later. But it causes me
so much anxiety. And that one was definitely the worst one.
But I wouldn't tell him to stop. You know, like,
(35:05):
when we have kids, I think it's it's important to
like be a lot safer. You know, I want you
to live for me, But when we have kids, it's like,
you know, I want our kids to have a father.
So I wouldn't really say like stop, this is too scary,
but when we have kids, maybe just like be a
little safer. But the thing, don't do the scary roots
because Dean was doing the scary roots he had the
option to do when that's easier, and he's going out
(35:28):
of his way to do something that's harder.
Speaker 4 (35:29):
Yeah, why do the scary roots, bro, Because it's way more,
it's way more, it feels more accomplishing, I guess, and
it's more fun.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
But the thing is like, I don't want to die.
I'm not ready to die.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
So I'm like, yeah, I don't want you to be
a widow either, But the thing like, I want to
be alive more than I don't want you to be
a widow. So I'm still fighting for my own self preservation.
I'm not going to personfully go kill myself, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 5 (35:53):
Well, no, I'm saying that.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Yeah, I thought you meant you wanted like the feeling
of being alive was more than Calvin being a widow.
I'm like, damn, bro, no, no, no.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
No, el, I really feel like I'm not I'm not
trying to die.
Speaker 4 (36:06):
I have no interest in dying, So like that supersedes
any situation where like I'm not going to put myself
in a situation where I'm like, oh, I could probably
die here. It's all calculated in my head for better
for worse. I guess where I'm like, oh, I can
definitely do this, but like you know, accidents do happen,
of course, but same as accidents happen on the road
where people get into the car crashes and die and
(36:27):
it's very sad, it's no different than this. It's all
you know, probability and all that kind of stuff where
it's like you could probably, I could probably do this
and be fine, and I'm going to go and do
it and prove it to myself that I can.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
That's basically what it is.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
But that was the moment that where where I almost tripped, Yeah,
where I was scared and Klen's kind of right. I
was taking like more challenging roots up. I didn't wear
a helmet on this route the other day, and there's
like this big, long steep gully with a bunch of
loose rock in it, and I was with a group
of three other people and I was like, well, I
don't want to be in the gully with three other
people because they could kick rocks.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
And hit me on the head, so I took I
just kind of like winged it.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
I was like, this looks like a good route, and
I followed this ridge line all like two mile, well
like a mile and a half up to the summit,
and it was We started at like four am, so
it was super dark, and I got to this like
crazy like rock spire on the ridge and I was
like tried to climb up. It got really freaking scared,
climbed down, and then I was like yelling to my
(37:25):
friends who were half a mile away.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
I was like, I think I have to turn around.
Speaker 4 (37:29):
I don't know what to do, Like I'm pretty freaked
out right now. And then I like started looking at
it again and I was like I can do it.
I just have to freaking commit and get over it.
And then once I'm there and then I can figure
out what to do next. And it was like, like
I said, it was full dark out and so I
was like shriving my head lamp on it trying to
find a solution.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
The rock is like super loose, so I get to the.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Top of it and then I get to the ridge
and everything went well. But then afterwards I was like
looking online to see if anyone else had done this,
you know, makeshift route that I had done, and it
turns out like ten people have done it, and it's.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Like fifth class.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
Yes, like five six climbing, which I can climb five
six super easily. But normally you're like on a rope
and you're protected and stuff, and it's daytime and you know,
there's a lot of other things kind of working in
your favor.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
But this time I was like, I'm just gonna wing it.
So Kalin's right, I do die.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
I do kind of make things a little more difficult
for myself, sometimes intentionally because it's more fun and I
don't think I'm going to die and it's more of
an accomplishment at the end of the day.
Speaker 5 (38:23):
M interesting.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Is there a difference between route and root? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Yeah, I don't know what it is though. I just
say I say which every one I'm feeling in the moment, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Agree, agreee. What do I say?
Speaker 2 (38:39):
I think?
Speaker 3 (38:39):
I say root? What do you say round?
Speaker 1 (38:40):
You say root?
Speaker 3 (38:41):
I say yeah, I say route.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
It depends.
Speaker 5 (38:45):
Yeah, but I say I I don't like that's I
think I say both.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
I definitely say both. It's like, oh, that's the route
that's the route over there.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
I bet I was like, oh this, I bet you,
Oh yeah, right, route one forty six sounds I bet you.
Route is more or proper like root could sound like
the root of like a plant, but route it's pretty
obviously like they're they're out, you know.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
So Easton says, I think root can be a verb
and route is always a noun.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Neither.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Wait, that's how you spelled right.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
Anyway?
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Yeah, definitely that ro O U t e is how
you spelled both. But the way to pronounce it, you
got to read it and pronounce it the right way.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
He's spelling it phonetically for us, it's a phonetic explanation, yeah,
because if he spelt it both the same way, then
we would have no idea which way he was he
was going.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
That makes sense. Uh well, thank you so much for
everybody tuning into this week's episode of Help We Suck
at being newlyweds that will do it? Route or root?
Please follow us on Instagram. Uh same old Instagram. Were
promoting the podcast on there with all our new stuff,
And thank you for listening. Dean Caitlin have fantastic times
(39:58):
in both of your location and I'm gonna go to
Audrey's Make sure you guys tune in next week. We're
hopefully we talk just a little bit less.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
Follow us on Instagram at help we Suck at being Newlyweds,
and email us.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
At Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Make sure to write us a review and leave us
five stars. We'll see you next time.
Help We Suck At Being Newlywed?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
With Dean Ungler, Kylen Miller Keys and Jared Haven, an
iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
What is going on? Everybody?
Speaker 4 (00:09):
Welcome to an all new episode of Help We Suck
At Being Newlyweds. We are all in different locations today.
I am joined by the beautiful, angelic, perfect, intelligent, kind
sweet Jared Haven.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
I'm just kidding to.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Say, what did he do? Why is he sucking up
so badly?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I was gonna say. Kaylin Miller Keys is joining us
from somewhere in the middle of Ohio. Right, is that
where you are?
Speaker 5 (00:38):
Yes? Yes, that's where I am.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
And Jared's joining us leeveless from his home in Rhoe Island.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I would think right home in.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Rhode Island, do I mean? I've been up since like
seven thirty. But you know what it was. I find
that I look best with bedheads, so I didn't do
I didn't put a hat on, I didn't put a
product in my hair. I went to run errands, and uh,
here I am. I've been working. So I got a
new car, I got a truck. I've been working on
this truck.
Speaker 6 (01:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I feel like there's times though, when I drive the
truck where I'm like, should I be blasting kid rock
and have two American flags on this thing?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Like that?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Is this a prerequisite? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Let me guess what.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
Let me guess what kind of truck you got? You
got a two thousand and twenty two Ford f one fifty.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Ooh so close. It is a twenty twenty two. It's
a year old, but it would be a gmc denali.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Ah, dude, congratulations. Welcome to the Nanikes Club.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Welcome. Do you have a truck?
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Yeah, I got Toyota to columb on twenty twenty two.
It's my pride and joy, my sweet baby, that my
that gets me in all these mountains that I'm trying
to climb out here.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
So it's you know, truck life is good.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Do you have a car in Colorado?
Speaker 5 (01:49):
Dean has like ten vehicles.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Excuse me, I drove it from Nevada. I'm like, I'm sleeping.
I'm like living in the truck when I'm in Colorado,
not now, not when.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
We record, because you know, it's nice to have a
hotel room and Wi Fi and stuff. But I drive
it to the trailhead, which requires four wheel drive, so
I couldn't bring the van, and then I sleep in
the truck bed and then I go and hike.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Sleep in the truck bed. Is it exposed tonight?
Speaker 6 (02:14):
No.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
I got like a cap over the top of it,
and I put like a bed frame in it.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
It's it's nice.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
It's really nice. It's like a five star hotel on wheels.
Maybe like a four star hotel. All right, maybe it's
like a three star hotel.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Yeah, let's just keep going down and be more risk
and realistic. So you have the truck, you're the van.
You have a motorcizer cycle and a Superman, and.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Then I have a super U And I'll tell you what.
Every car has its purpose. The van obviously gets used
for van things. The truck gets used for the truck things,
and for this mission that I'm on right now. The
Subaru is used when I'm in Las Vegas and the
truck is in Colorado, and like if I fly back
or something, then the motorcycle, as we've talked about on
this podcast, is in Los Angeles permanently, so I can
drive that whenever I visit Los Angeles.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
For that having to get nubers, so it all works out.
It all works out. But let's talk about cars.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
I want to hear from Kaylen if that's okay with you, guys, Kylen,
tell us about what you're doing right now. Can you
share anything or do you want to kind of keep
it close to the chest.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
I can share.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'll be gone by the time this airs. But I'm
just in a cabin in the woods and Hawking Hills,
which is like an hour outside of Columbus, just a little, quick,
little girls trip. I've only been to Ohio a couple times,
and Hawking Hills keeps popping up on my Instagram. One
of my friends lives out here, so came out and
(03:31):
it is so beautiful. So there's three cabins and like
these massive windows everywhere so I can see this beautiful pond.
There's like a family of four right by us, and
then this little couple. So it's like our own little
sanctuary out here.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
That's nice. What have you guys been doing?
Speaker 6 (03:46):
Well?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Got in last night, got in the hot tub, made dinner.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
We made a nice girl dinner. I don't know if
you've seen that on TikTok, but we made mac and cheese.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Oh on TikTok. Now, I haven't really been on TikTok much.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
But it does look beautiful out there, and I guess
you just got there yesterday, So maybe if we had
this podcast today from now we get more experiences. But
what do you guys plan on doing? Are you going
to go on some hikes? Are you going to go kayaking?
Are you going to swim in the lake?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
What are you going to do?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, we're planning on going on some hikes, but apparently
this past winter didn't get super cold, so the ticks
that we're supposed to die didn't die, and ticks season
is really really bad, so I'm a little nervous to
go on a hike.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
We need to find like some tick repellent before we
do that.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Well, that sounds lovely, Caitlin.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
It looks like you're having sounds like you're having fun,
and I'm excited to hear all about it when we
get home next week, and I want to see some pictures. Yeah,
it sounds like you're having fun. That's great.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Do any of your friends, like, so, how many girlfriends
do you go with?
Speaker 5 (04:45):
This time? It's just me and another friend?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Okay, so it's just two of you. Does she have kids?
Speaker 5 (04:49):
No?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
All right, damn it because I'm really trying to figure
out how like logistically we can do this because I
think Ashley really needs a girl's trip, and so you know,
I'm trying to figure out exactly, all right, how do
I send them away? Where can I send them to?
And then I just got to make sure I take
care of Dawson. But I kind of wanted to be
a surprise. I guess I'm spoiling it from the podcast.
But I don't know, do you get You gave me
(05:11):
an idea when you said girl's trip?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Why can't she just like organize a girl's trip by yourself.
Why do you have to send her away?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I don't have to, but I think it would be
a nice gesture, uh, because the problem is, like we've
talked about in Rhode Island. I'll tell you a quick story.
Yesterday I got out of work and my buddy texted me.
He was like, hey, do you want to golf? I
got out of work around like three and this he
was like, do you want to golf?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
At four thirty?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
And the country club you belonged to is it takes
freaking forever because it's the millin nor So it takes
It took us like a little over an hour to
get there, but then Ashley. So I asked Ashley and
she's was very hesitant. She's like, yeah, you know, because
she was home with Dawson and then she wants to
do something with me because she doesn't have any other
friends of Rhode Island, and so she's like, can I
can Dawson and I come? I said, yeah, of course.
(05:57):
So she was texting with Kenny, my buddy because we
had you know, we're all friends. And they were driving
there and I was like, all right, what are you
gonna do? Well, yeah, I golf. I'll only you know,
golf for like an hour and forty five minutes in
the nine host and she's like, no, We're gonna come
on the cart with you. And it was Dawson an Ashley,
and I was like, oh okay. And then we were
running late were I was already stressed because I just
(06:17):
worked at three. I was running literally. I was texting
my buddy being like, I'm just gonna jump on the
tea with you because there's no tea times afterwards. And
I was getting there directly the minute the tea off time.
But then of course she was like, oh no, Dawson
and are coming with us. I'm like, actually, it's gonna
take it forever to get him out of the car
and in the car and like get this going, and
then he's gonna be crying on the freaking golf course
and we're gonna get kicked out of this country club
(06:37):
because we'd have a crying baby on the course. I
didn't say that because I was like, it's okay. So
of course we get on the course. He starts. He
wasn't too fussy, but he was like fussy enough. We're
driving past into the hole and they're like looking at
us because we have a baby on this golf court.
Who was like wow. I'm like, oh Jesus Christ. So
they ended up leaving after the second hole. Long story short,
I felt terrible because then I was like, all right,
never run. I don't want golf anymore because it's too stressful.
(07:00):
I can't even hit the ball off the tee because
like I'm just Dawson's making too much noise in the background.
I'm too focused on that. And then of course I'm
having this realization in my head that the only way
Ashley has fun in Rhde Island is when she just
does things with me because we don't have that friend group.
So this was all happening in my head. So she
left after the second hole, and then I was like,
I'm walking off the course. I'm not going to let
you guys just go and do your own thing if
you weren't planning on it. She's like, no, we'll be fine.
(07:21):
Just finish the nine holes. So then like she was
walking away with Dawson, but she didn't pick him up
and walked away. She like was letting him walk. So
of course he was just like staring at me, and
I'm like, I'm the worst father of all time. This
is horrible. I'm choosing golf over my son. So I'm like, nope,
I'm leaving. She's like no, no, no, you're staying. You're golfing.
I'm going over here. We're fine. And so we were
arguing about that and I'm like, this is so fucking stupid.
(07:43):
And then a long story short, I ended up finishing
that holes. I played terrible because I couldn't get out
of my own head. And then we just had a
long conversation so about like I feel terrible because it
feels like, you know, we don't have that dynamic right
now where you can do your own thing and I
can do my own thing and we could be happy
doing it because we're just not in that mode. So
(08:03):
when Caylen you mentioned the girls trip, I'll was like, oh, okay,
if I can, you know, I want her to do
her own thing and be happy, you know what I mean.
I want her to be happy with her friends. Yeah,
It's like maybe if I send her on a girl
strip with Lauren or something like just to get away
for a couple of nights without Dawson. I know she
missed Dawson, but she'll be so all have like adult time.
So that's my thought process.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
That that's that's something I think that'll get better in
a couple in a couple of years. Right Like if
Dawston could if Dawston's like four and he's like more
aware of what's going on, you could just bring him
just Dawson and then as she could go off and
do whatever she wanted to do. Because I feel like
once you get past the hump of like fully having
the babysit, not babysit, but like you know, give a
hundred percent of your attention to the kid while it's
(08:46):
still so young. But when it gets a little older
at least you'll have some more leeway with that. But
I will say I've gone I've gone golfing it with
Kayln a couple of times in the cart and she
doesn't play, but she'll like sit with me, Kaylen, and
you can attest to this. And every time we've done it,
maybe like three times total, twice in the past like
six months, and both of those times in the past
six months, I've every time I would hit the ball,
(09:07):
I'd be like, Kaylen, this is the most fun I've
ever had playing golf.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
It's great.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
You gotta play golf, you'd one of your favorite hobbies.
And then you get to go back into the cart
and sit next to the love of your life.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Well, who could ever possibly complain about that?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
You know, it's different when you have a crying baby, obviously,
but like you know, mine is the baby.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
It's pretty nice.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yeah, And I feel bad because Dawson is like peque Dawson.
I love being around in so much right now. He
is just the best. He is happy, he's uh just
so energetic and he you know, like like we talked about,
like he's just that that that that that and it's like, dude,
that is just the best feeling in the world. So
(09:46):
that was the other problem was that, like he was
walking away and I'm like, no, I don't want you,
like I would rather go with you than golf right now.
But then of course Ashley was like, no, I feel bad.
You work all the time. You should golf, and I'm like, no,
like I feel bad. You don't want to be in
RhE Island and you live here. So it's just like
a tale, you know, that old that old song and dance.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Caitlyn.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
Can you weigh in on from a woman's perspective on
this situation.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
Well, being childless? I don't. I don't think so, but yeah,
yeah I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It would be nice when we eventually have kids to
you know, partake in your hobbies with you, but it
just sounds like it's a bit stressful, like my hobbies.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
No, Like, you know, Dean loves to golf.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
So when we have kids, you know, do what you
guys try to do, bring the kid on the golf course.
But it just sounds it sounds a little challenging.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Oh yeah, I mean we do. Ashley always does this
and I love her so much for wanting to do it,
because she's always so optimistic about the thought of doing
something rather than the practicality of doing it. For example,
anytime we go out, it's like, oh, we should go
out to dinner. I'm like, yeah, we need a babysitter.
She's like, no, we'll bring Dawson. Like, Ashley, why do
we continue going down this this cycle of misery where
(11:02):
we go to dinner, we bring Dawson. He's fun, but
it's just like it's not relaxing because our entire attention
pit span is on him, like don't do that, don't
pick that, No, you can't have that. Nope, We'll just
get his food as quick as possible. Yes, please, just
bring his food as fast as humanly possible. And then
he gets his food, and then we get our food
and he's like trying to reach for Oz and he's
crying because he sees us eating different food than him
(11:24):
and he wants whatever food we're eating. So then we
put on miss Rachel just to enjoy a dinner, and
then we're like, Okay, we'll take the check and get
out of here. And we're like, oh, that was nice, yeah,
very nice. But it's like it's just a constant feeling
of guilt, where like all we're doing is focusing on Dawson,
so we never sit down and have a conversation. And
then by the time our food comes, I feel terrible
because it's like, all right, we're gonna put Miss Rachel
on so we can eat. And then I'm like, well,
now we're just putting a phone in front of him,
(11:44):
so why are we even going out to eat? At
least if we were home, we'd be able to like
interact with him or put something on the background on
the TV and then like eat while we're like playing
music or whatever. But anyway, this is the joy of
having children, ladies and gentlemen, and the problem Dawson. Jesus,
you know I was just called you Dawson.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I'm flattered.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
You should be. He's a very good looking kid. But
what I was going to say, time is ticking. You know,
we gotta start in number two if we want siblings soon.
So you know, it's just like we're going to do
it all over again, so here we go.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Buckle up.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Yeah, but it'll be it'll be better the second time,
because then you'll have a two year old. Dedicated babies
two year older dedicated babysitter for when that kid is
too you'll have a four year old that can watch
the two year old.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah, that's what people are telling us that, Like Dawson's
actually gonna be.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
A help right, right, right right at least, maybe not
like super helpful at first, but he'll like work his
way into it. It's so interesting to hear you talk
about it because my oldest brother has a baby who's
the exact same age as Dawson, and he his his
not gripes, but like his comments about being a dad
are so similar to yours.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
They're a little different.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Like they just took their baby camping for the very
first time this past weekend, and he said it was
like one of the hardest things he's ever done. But
like similar to like you, like, you know, you go
out to dinner and it's like challenge, why are we
even doing this? But in the broad scheme of things,
it's like probably a good thing rather than just like
staying home with the baby until the baby's old enough
to talk or whatever, you know. But yeah, it's just interesting.
(13:10):
And then he's talking about a lot of that too.
He's like once the baby or once my baby child
is old enough because he like used to be a
really big rock climber and now he has to not
has to, but I guess gets to be on dad
duty a lot more often. He's like not able to
climb as much. So he's like when I'm fifty years
old and he's like forty. Now, It's like, when I'm fifty,
I'm going to be the strongest fifty year old rock
(13:30):
climber in the world because I'll be able to either
take the kids to the climbing gym or they'll be
able to stay home while I go out and do
the things that I'm interested in. So I think it's
just like a matter of delaying the things that you
want to do for like five or ten years and
then be getting really.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Good at it later on. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, I've accepted that. I don't think Ashley has because
she's like, I want to do it now, and I'm like,
totally I understand because she's like, why can't we just
go out to dinner, Like why can't we do this?
I'm like Ashley, every parent in the world has informed us,
like get traveling and all the things you want to
do out of your system, because when you have kids,
You're gonna have to just not do a lot of
the things that you want to do for a few years.
(14:07):
So I was like, we've gotta gotta gotta get through it.
Gotta get through it. And he's so much fun at home.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Caitlyn, how would you do with that? Do you think?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I was just thinking how how the both of us
would deal with that. I feel like we both have
very independent lives that I feel like, you know, who knows,
you know, we don't have kids, and we don't know
how hard it would be.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
But I feel like you'd still be able to.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I'd watch baby Debbie or baby Hunter, and you'd go
off and do your thing for a few days, and
then you know, you'd watch the babies and I'd go
do my things. But yeah, it'll be challenging because right
now we can just pick up and go and travel
and do whatever we want.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
So I'm taking the baby with me wherever I go.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I know you say that, But the reason that I'm
so hesitant in having kids right now is because I
just love our freedom so much.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
M It is nice. It is nice to have the freedom.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Yeah, freedom is so great, right, Jared, I mean right,
Klein isn't freedom just so great? The fact that we
can just pick up and go to Ohio or Colorado
for as long as we want. But at the same
time too, Jared always talks about how much he loves
baby Dawson and how he's the most important thing in
his life and ever will be.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Oh yeah, so it's like, you know, there.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Is would I would happily, like as much as it
sucks to sacrifice freedom, I would happily sacrifice my freedom
for Dawson, you know, like I would ever change.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
I would gladly be like a homebody for four years.
I think.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
I think if we had a baby, I would just
be a homebody for four years.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
That's crazy coming from you.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
I swear I would do it.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
I could find new hot I'm pretty good at finding
new hobbies where I could do them from home that
I would like find fulfilling. I think, like whether it's
you know, building stuff around the house. Maybe I'll pick
up the sacks again. Maybe that kid is going to
grow up to be a jazz musician because I'm playing
the sacks for four years and then he picks it
up and starts playing better than me all of a sudden,
because I'm pretty bad at it as it is.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
You could hike with the baby too, hike close by
the house.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
Mm.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Yeah, that's not like super fulfilling to me. But I'm
just saying I feel like I can find something. It's
different for us in our current situation, obviously because Jared
has the ten hour a day twelve our day job
that he does with Audrey's and we don't.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
So I think we're kind of.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
For We would force ourselves to find something to stay busy,
which is a.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Good That was the giant mistake Dawson was not Have
you guys talked about going on your honeymoon? Like I
feel like you mentioned South Africa at some point. Is
that still go?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah, I'm working on the hotels right now. We would
start in Cape Town and spend like three or four
nights in Cape Town and then go over and do
like a safari for a week, just trying to figure
out like where to go.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
So I'm not too knowledgeable about South Africa except from
what I've seen in Blood Diamond. But Cape Town, there's
Johannesburg in Capetown. Correct, Yes, one is more dangerous than
the other.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
Correct, Dean's nodding, So I guess, so.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, Johannesburg is more dangerous, joe Berg is more dangerous.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Yeah, got it.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
So you're going to Cape Town. Very nice.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
I've heard we'm going to joe Burg. We might get
a little danger in our lives.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Why not. I don't welcome the danger.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
You're not planning this trip. You don't get to say, yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Oh, but I'm going on it, so I don't.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
It's my honeymoon, and I don't get to say if
we get our experience a little bit of danger, come on.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Not if you don't help plan it, you gotta put
the legwork in bro.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Mm hm, Well, I haven't been asked to help plan anything.
And I feel like we're still in the preliminary phases.
We don't even know when we're going. We don't even
know if we're going. I thought we're going to the Maldives.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
Oh we do.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
We have the Belmont booked for four nights in Cape Town.
So now we just have to figure out the safari part,
which is being worked on.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
So you're going, yeah, we're going. And Dean, the idea
of Kaylin planning the trip, not asking for your opinion
and letting you know that because you didn't plan it,
you don't have a say in what the itinerary is.
That's just called marriage, bro, So.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Just get yours up.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Yeah, and it's gonna be the most perfect honeymoon. We'll
have the spa, we'll have tennis, we'll have great meals.
There's like this beautiful farm to table picnic with a
swing and yeah, it's gonna be great. He's gonna have
a great time. Lots of you know, murderous animals.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
It sounds like exactly like your kind of trip spas, tennis,
farm to table picnic. That's exactly like something you're gonna
absolutely love. And that's that's all I care about.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
That's Cape Town.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
And then the Safari is like, you know, more for
you waking up at five am, waking up for sunrise
taking photos.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Yeah, it's a good mix of both of us.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Like Jared said, if you're planning it, you might as
well plan for your own interests.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
I am no, I agree. I think that's how you should.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
If I was more worried about it and I started
getting concerned about not having fun for myself, which I
will obviously, I would jump in and say no, no, no, no, no,
we're not doing this. We would do this instead. But
you know, I want you to go and have fun
and do the things that you want to do, and
then maybe I can work in some of my interests
while we're there too.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Well, yeah, I figured you wouldn't play tennis, so you
could go do your own thing while I'm playing tennis.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Well, who are going to play tennis against?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
The Belmont has a tennis coach, so I'm going to
play as a coach.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Hopefully he's not too good looking.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
No, I hope he is. I hope he is good looking.
I want Kaylen to it's.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Going to be like a long Tam Polly with the
scuba instructor for Scoopa.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Are you for tennis, Kalen? Yeah, that would stink. I'd
feel really bad about that. But well, Dean, if.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
You were to plan a honeymoon, where would you go?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Hmm? Oh?
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Man, if I were to plan, well, I mean we
kind of agree. South Africa would the move for us.
I just would do it a little differently, not better
by any stretch of the imagination.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I'm curious because you told me Cape Town. I was like,
how long do you want to spend in Capetown and
you're like Cape Town for three to four days and
then we'll do the safari the rest of the time.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
I'm following your instructions.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Oh, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
I'm not being critical of your planning at all. I'm
saying I would I would just focus more on the
stuff that you could only do in South Africa, like
the so far, like you don't go to South Africa
to play tennis, not that you shouldn't play tennis when
you're in South Africa, but like you go to South
Africa for the animals, for the for the outdoors, whatever
it is. But I agree with your approach. Like half
(20:38):
and half is kind of what we would want to
do is like five days at a nice place where
we can relax and just kind of like lays around
and do whatever we wanted, whether you play tennis or
play golf, and then like seven days doing a safari
where we're going to get a bunch of cool pictures
and see a lot of cool animals and that kind
of stuff that's got that. I mean, if I were
to plan it would be very similar to how you're
(20:59):
doing it.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
You're just better planning what I am.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Wait, So, so you would be planning the same trip essentially,
just a little different.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yeah, I just like, you know, I just like being
critical of everything and everyone all, oh my gosh, No,
but you're doing great, and I think we're gonna have
an awesome time.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
I hope it ends up happening.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
I know you said you already got the hotels kind
of figured out, or at least starting to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
We're still like, what five months away. I've been going
on this thing.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
So we're going to South Africa for our honeymoon. We
just I just need a book flights, and then the
flights kind of sucks. So we would fly to Europe
and then Europe to South Africa. So I think we
should spend a couple of days in Europe and then
go to South Africa.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Right, well, United is a direct flight from from Newark
to South Africa. So maybe hey, United Airlines, if you're
listening to this, we're going on our honeymoon. We would
love a direct flight from Newark to South Africa. Please
help us out because we really need it. Thank you
very much. That's right, United, That's how we're looking, Jared.
How are you guys looking on booking your accommodations for
our wedding. I guess getting any closer to that because
(21:58):
time is a ticking.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Dude, Ashley does all that? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
At this point, I'm worried you guys aren't gonna come.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Of course we're coming. When is it just kidding?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Dude? All right? I hope.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
So we've had some wedding controversy on this podcast in
the past, and so.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I don't know. Come for the guy I don't.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Booked his flight, which was so sweet, Like eight months
before the wedding, he was like, Oh, my flight's booked,
I'm ready to go, and I'm like, this guy unbelievable,
so awesome. And then the day of the rehearsal dinner, Oh,
I by my flight got canceled. I'm re routed to
Boston and I got to drive down. I'm like, oh, dude,
(22:38):
that sucks, Like I can't believe your flight got canceled,
blah blah blah blah blah. And then I just found
out that he missed his flight, but I still.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Made it for the rehearsal dinner.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I still still made it for then, that's right. I
gave him great speech, great speech.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
I totally forgot about that and then I was super
hung over the next day.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Your wedding was a lot of fun. I did have
a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Well, you guys will have a lot of fun at
your wedding too. Just make sure you soak it all in,
don't stress, learn any planning.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
I learned a few things from that, though. I don't
think I'm gonna drink it all at our wedding, at least.
I don't want to be bloated. I don't want to
be hungover, so I'm probably just gonna stay sober. And
Mike Jared said, soak it all in.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
The problem with you, Dean is it feels like you
can't have one drink. It feels like you're the type
of person not to like put tags on you, but
it feels like you are unable. If you crack one open,
game is over.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Oh yeah, well, alcoholism runs in my family and that's
definitely part of it.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
And once I have one sip.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
It's it's game on, and no one knows what's gonna
happen next. So that's why I think i'd just be
best to avoid it altogether. And I haven't really been
drinking very much lately at all, and I'm starting to
finally get in good shape. So yeah, if if I
stay sober, I'll stay slim and I'll stay sexy, and
my bride will think I'm handsome and cute, and so
(23:59):
that's enough of a and for me to stay sober.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
You know, have you guys been actively thinking about that
because you're both in have always been in great shape.
Have you been trying to even get in better shape
for the wedding or is it just whatever Dean has.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Been Dean, that's his main goal for doing the fourteen
ers right to be.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Hot and sexy for you. Yeah, that's that's a big
one for sure.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, you've lost a lot of weight. It's very impressive.
You didn't need to lose weight. I know you're just
very critical of your body, but you've done a great job.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
I need you start doing like crunches or push ups
or something, because while I'm getting slimmer, I need to
still maintain some muscle mass. So I need to get
into the gym, maybe like a month before the actual ceremony.
But you've been killing it. You're doing pull ups, you're
doing squat lunge extension things. Every time I look at
your Instagram, stories. You're doing some new workout I've never
heard of.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Yeah, my pull ups are pull up, they're assisted pull ups.
They're not real pull ups, but they are fun and
the gym's been fun.
Speaker 5 (24:54):
I started working.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Out like more consistently and harder, I feel like around
the time of got engaged, and solely for the wedding.
But now I just like really enjoy the way I
feel so and I've heard from so many people they like,
work out so hard for the wedding and then they
just stop. And I'm really hoping I can like incorporate
this long term and make it a part of my routine.
And I'm not just gonna stop after the wedding.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
But we'll see.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
You will if you feel great and you keep working out,
you will.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Are you satisfied with the results so far? You got
some crazy abs lately?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I I, you know, I am happy with it. It's just,
you know, being a woman, my body ebbs and flows,
and depending on what time of the month it is,
that's pretty frustrating.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
It's like, I work out so hard.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
And then you know, my period comes and I'm bloated
and feel like crap. So I'm just I'm just adjusting
to that, and I'm cycle sinking, which I've heard a
lot of people talk about on TikTok, and I think
it's really helped me, like not only with emotions, but
also with my body as well, and like being more
(26:00):
you know, positive in terms of my body.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
That makes sense, that's great.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Cycles sinking, cycle sinking. Yeah, So within your cycle, you
have four phases. There's the liteal phase and I forget
the rest. There's one that's ovulating, there's one that's your spirit,
and then there's one more. And so with every phase
there's like certain things you should be eating. There are
follicular phase, thank you Easton, So there are certain things
(26:28):
you should be eating, certain ways you should be working out,
or like you know, being easy on your body. And
it's good to understand because sometimes I'm like I'm angry
right now or why am I feeling sad? And so
cycle sinking just really helps you understand your body a
lot better. And there's you know, people who talk about
this and do a much better job of it. But
it has been interesting and really helpful so far.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Nice. That's cool.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
How did you know that?
Speaker 5 (26:56):
It's a very quick response. There's a podcast I work
on called scrubbing in with Cotillon tin you're at and
tiny's very into cycle sinking. I know a lot about
cycle sinking.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Got it, That's what I telling more than me nice
because I felt like it really has been there for
a second.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Yeah, well, I.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Also feel for not knowing about the sinking side I've got.
I've got a potentially TMI question, Caitlyn. I feel free
to just brush this off. Do you know, because you
can kind of plan when your cycle is going to
be every month, do you know where in the cycle
you'll be for our wedding weekend?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yes, it keeps changing and it's pretty upsetting. So I
was supposed to be ovulating on the day.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Of our wedding. Let's see around now now I think.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I think now I'm supposed to be pmssing on the
day of our wedding. Wait, let's see. Oh my god,
yeap pmssing.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
No, just gonna say no, bro.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
But uh, yeah, it keeps changing. So we'll see.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
My brother and his wife conceived on the day of
their wedding, so you know, we might. I guess we
can't fall on those footsteps, which is unfortunate, but it.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Is what it is.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
Yeah, it's probably for the best.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
Maybe we'll have a wedding day miracle.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
Who knows.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
I bet a lot of married couples I would say
more than fifty percent more often than not do not
have sex on their wedding night because.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
It's just so like tiring and stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Yeah. I was just talking to my friend about this.
She said they got married and then took photos and
then in between I guess the reception while people were
at cocktail hour right after, She's like, let's just have
sex because I know we're not going to have it
after the wedding. So they just went in the room,
had sex, and then came out and started partying.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Nice, let's do that.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
That's crazy, man. Yeah, I don't know if I would
feel I guess I would be fine. Right, you just
go you have sex, but then you're like, Grandma, thank
you so much for coming. You know, it's yeah, it's
oh man, this is tm I. But you guys ever
(29:06):
get like like post guilt, you know what I mean.
You're like, I can't let anybody see it, like, you know,
like see us right afterwards. I need like a minute
to just be like, oh, okay, no, we're fine, No.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
No way.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
When I walk out with my shoulders held high, walking
out like a freaking like a batle evil, and no
one knows why either, you know, And that's how I
like it too.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
I don't want anyone to know what's going on.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
I just want them to see my confidence stretch that
I'm that I'm having so.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
But you know, and that's all that matters.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Yeah, I know, that's all that matters.
Speaker 4 (29:39):
I can say, maybe we should do it before the ceremony,
but that would be that'd be bad because we have.
Speaker 5 (29:44):
To wait the first look it's for sex.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yea, yeah exactly, but that'd be bad
because we have to wait until we're married to even
engage in that type of action.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Obviously, yah, of course.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
But you know what's hard is We've been to weddings
where you know, either the groom and the bride or
one or the other is saving themselves for marriage. And
I've talked to people afterwards, like the bride afterwards, and
she's like, it's so awkward because so many people are
talking about it at the wedding and like then everyone
knows like that night you're gonna have sex for the
first time, and it's just like it feels so invasive,
(30:18):
you know.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
M Yeah, I think before our wedding, Calen, we should
go through a process to be born again virgins.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
I wonder what that would look.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Like, like, what does our virginity mm hmm, what kind
of hoops we'd have to jump through in order to
like get that confirmed, you know, with the church or
whoever it might be. But like that'd be nice to
go into our wedding both pure.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Both pure.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
Well, I don't like it because you hate church, so
that would never happen.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
Yeah, but I'll still do it, you know. I think
it'd be fun fun to say we both lost our virginity.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
On our wedding night.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Yeah, he'll do it for the podcast.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
You don't really cont that, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
I wonder how long you have to not have sex
for in order to be considered a born again virgin?
Speaker 5 (31:03):
You know, I think it's I think.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
It's just like faith wise, you just like maybe go,
you know, I'm probably making this up. Go to your
pastor and you do a lot of work in like
months of like prayer and stuff, and then I don't know,
but that sounds like it's right.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Can it be like done overnight? You know what I mean?
You guys should the day before, you know, just be like,
all right, let's go get this over with, so tomorrow
we can be born.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
Again, like an online certificate or something, just like a
quick expedited.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Version where I just thought a form. Yeah, I mean
there's everything for that these days.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
If I want to be ordained, all I have to
do is jump online real quick and fill out a
survey or whatever.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
There's got to be a way to do it for
born again virgin too.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Oh yeah, it's probably all on the same website. You
can get ordained, you can get groupons for skiing, and
you can get a certificate to be a born again virgin.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Nice. Yeah, I think we should explore it. We need
to explore it. But I think we've offended enough people
as it is. Maybe we should move onto something else.
Speaker 6 (32:01):
Nah.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Never, Oh I.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Almost died the other day. I can talk about that
real quick.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
How'd you almost die?
Speaker 6 (32:06):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Yeah, I almost fell off a mountain. I sent Kaylen
a video of it.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
It was pretty, Uh, it's pretty It's kind of hard
to see in the video of exactly what happens, but
I was walking down like this super narrow ridge really
high up off the It was like a two thousand
foot ridge that's like maybe two feet wide, and I
like stepped down and I slipped, And if I slipped
and fell, I would have fallen two thousand feet and died.
(32:32):
But I caught myself really quick and I got it
all on video, which might have helped. It might have
been the reason why I slipped, but I don't think so,
because it was in my hands and it was my
feet obviously that slipped. But you can like see my
foot like sputter out and then I like catched myself
on the rock at the last second, and it.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Was pretty terrifying. And then I had the video.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
So I was like, I probably shouldn't send this to Kaylin,
But in hindsight, since I survived, like it's pretty funny.
So I did, And yeah, that was my experience almost dying.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Yeah, it would have been funny if Kaylen witnessed your
death on video and she got it sent to you,
you know, sent to her.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
I gotta say, though, like, you know, if you are
going to almost die, it's pretty cool to have it
on camera. Like it's of all the things to have
on camera, that's a cool thing they have on camera.
So when it happened.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
I like, I wasn't scared, and I wasn't like, oh
that was a close one. I was in my head.
I was like, thank god, I was recording.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
How many close calls have you had.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Hiking wa is not.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Really any Like that was probably the biggest one, the
one like that was the biggest one, where like it
was pretty obvious I was like a couple of inches
away from death, whereas maybe before there have been close calls,
but it hasn't been so obvious, you know, like I
don't I don't know specific examples, but like that one
was like if I if I continued to fall just
a little bit more, I would have been done.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
So so that was that was quite an experience.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Is there ever a point where he would I have
such a close call where you would say, listen, you
need to stop, you can't do this anymore.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Well, yeah, we talked about this, like his fourteen ers specifically,
and it has been causing me a lot of anxiety,
just this one in particular, these three, because his friend,
who was fearless, said it was the scariest one, like
the most dangerous one. He wasn't scared the whole time
on this fourteen or expedition until this one, So I
wasn't sleeping for like three days leading up to it,
(34:27):
and while you were climbing. I didn't tell you this
because I don't like to tell him when I'm anxious,
to like put that anxiety on him when he's already
doing like really scary stuff. But like it's like one
hundred and ten degrees in Vegas, and I was like shaking,
like shivering like it had such bad anxiety, and.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
I was like, is he alive?
Speaker 3 (34:44):
Is he alive?
Speaker 2 (34:44):
I'm like checking stories of the friends that he's with.
He's not texting me back, his satellite phone's not texting
me back like nothing, and I'm like the last time
his friend posted was two hours ago and then he
texted me like twenty minutes later. But it causes me
so much anxiety. And that one was definitely the worst one.
But I wouldn't tell him to stop. You know, like,
(35:05):
when we have kids, I think it's it's important to
like be a lot safer. You know, I want you
to live for me, But when we have kids, it's like,
you know, I want our kids to have a father.
So I wouldn't really say like stop, this is too scary,
but when we have kids, maybe just like be a
little safer. But the thing, don't do the scary roots
because Dean was doing the scary roots he had the
option to do when that's easier, and he's going out
(35:28):
of his way to do something that's harder.
Speaker 4 (35:29):
Yeah, why do the scary roots, bro, Because it's way more,
it's way more, it feels more accomplishing, I guess, and
it's more fun.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
But the thing is like, I don't want to die.
I'm not ready to die.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
So I'm like, yeah, I don't want you to be
a widow either, But the thing like, I want to
be alive more than I don't want you to be
a widow. So I'm still fighting for my own self preservation.
I'm not going to personfully go kill myself, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 5 (35:53):
Well, no, I'm saying that.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Yeah, I thought you meant you wanted like the feeling
of being alive was more than Calvin being a widow.
I'm like, damn, bro, no, no, no.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
No, el, I really feel like I'm not I'm not
trying to die.
Speaker 4 (36:06):
I have no interest in dying, So like that supersedes
any situation where like I'm not going to put myself
in a situation where I'm like, oh, I could probably
die here. It's all calculated in my head for better
for worse. I guess where I'm like, oh, I can
definitely do this, but like you know, accidents do happen,
of course, but same as accidents happen on the road
where people get into the car crashes and die and
(36:27):
it's very sad, it's no different than this. It's all
you know, probability and all that kind of stuff where
it's like you could probably, I could probably do this
and be fine, and I'm going to go and do
it and prove it to myself that I can.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
That's basically what it is.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
But that was the moment that where where I almost tripped, Yeah,
where I was scared and Klen's kind of right. I
was taking like more challenging roots up. I didn't wear
a helmet on this route the other day, and there's
like this big, long steep gully with a bunch of
loose rock in it, and I was with a group
of three other people and I was like, well, I
don't want to be in the gully with three other
people because they could kick rocks.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
And hit me on the head, so I took I
just kind of like winged it.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
I was like, this looks like a good route, and
I followed this ridge line all like two mile, well
like a mile and a half up to the summit,
and it was We started at like four am, so
it was super dark, and I got to this like
crazy like rock spire on the ridge and I was
like tried to climb up. It got really freaking scared,
climbed down, and then I was like yelling to my
(37:25):
friends who were half a mile away.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
I was like, I think I have to turn around.
Speaker 4 (37:29):
I don't know what to do, Like I'm pretty freaked
out right now. And then I like started looking at
it again and I was like I can do it.
I just have to freaking commit and get over it.
And then once I'm there and then I can figure
out what to do next. And it was like, like
I said, it was full dark out and so I
was like shriving my head lamp on it trying to
find a solution.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
The rock is like super loose, so I get to the.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Top of it and then I get to the ridge
and everything went well. But then afterwards I was like
looking online to see if anyone else had done this,
you know, makeshift route that I had done, and it
turns out like ten people have done it, and it's.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Like fifth class.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
Yes, like five six climbing, which I can climb five
six super easily. But normally you're like on a rope
and you're protected and stuff, and it's daytime and you know,
there's a lot of other things kind of working in
your favor.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
But this time I was like, I'm just gonna wing it.
So Kalin's right, I do die.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
I do kind of make things a little more difficult
for myself, sometimes intentionally because it's more fun and I
don't think I'm going to die and it's more of
an accomplishment at the end of the day.
Speaker 5 (38:23):
M interesting.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Is there a difference between route and root? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Yeah, I don't know what it is though. I just
say I say which every one I'm feeling in the moment, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Agree, agreee. What do I say?
Speaker 2 (38:39):
I think?
Speaker 3 (38:39):
I say root? What do you say round?
Speaker 1 (38:40):
You say root?
Speaker 3 (38:41):
I say yeah, I say route.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
It depends.
Speaker 5 (38:45):
Yeah, but I say I I don't like that's I
think I say both.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
I definitely say both. It's like, oh, that's the route
that's the route over there.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
I bet I was like, oh this, I bet you,
Oh yeah, right, route one forty six sounds I bet you.
Route is more or proper like root could sound like
the root of like a plant, but route it's pretty
obviously like they're they're out, you know.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
So Easton says, I think root can be a verb
and route is always a noun.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Neither.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Wait, that's how you spelled right.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
Anyway?
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Yeah, definitely that ro O U t e is how
you spelled both. But the way to pronounce it, you
got to read it and pronounce it the right way.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
He's spelling it phonetically for us, it's a phonetic explanation, yeah,
because if he spelt it both the same way, then
we would have no idea which way he was he
was going.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
That makes sense. Uh well, thank you so much for
everybody tuning into this week's episode of Help We Suck
at being newlyweds that will do it? Route or root?
Please follow us on Instagram. Uh same old Instagram. Were
promoting the podcast on there with all our new stuff,
And thank you for listening. Dean Caitlin have fantastic times
(39:58):
in both of your location and I'm gonna go to
Audrey's Make sure you guys tune in next week. We're
hopefully we talk just a little bit less.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
Follow us on Instagram at help we Suck at being Newlyweds,
and email us.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
At Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Make sure to write us a review and leave us
five stars. We'll see you next time.
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