September 25, 2023 • 18 mins
Caelynn and Dean are on their way to their dream wedding in the mountains and have a moment to share their final feelings and thoughts before they officially become The Bells!
But things might not go exactly as planned, because Dean has NO tux!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Help We Suck At Being Newlywed?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
With Dean Aungler, Haylen miller Key and Jared Haven An
iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
What is going on? Everybody?
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Welcome to it all new special episode of Help We
Suck At Being Newlyweds. We're recording live from the w
aspin Hotel Room three seventy two, and we're doing this
a little differently this week. We don't have any producers
with us. I missed the recording last yesterday because I
was busy hiking him out with my brother who I'll
(00:30):
get to that in a second, And so we're just
recording this right before we drive up to our wedding venue.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Anything you want to add, Yeah, we missed the other
first episode because Dean's Tucks is Lost was lost. Now
it's been found. Been a stressful week.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
It's been fine for us, but it's been stressful for
the producers over at iHeart Radio, who we love so much.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Sorry for having to continuously.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Reschedule, but we have a great episode. We have two
incredibly special guests joining us. Two guests that I thought
we would never get on this podcast, but everyone's been
asking about. Everyone has been dying to get you two
guys on, can I use your real names?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah? Great. We've got Ross.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Bell and Avery Bell joining us all the way from Driggs, Idaho,
and a little Murray Bell. So if you hear some
wrestling around in the background, that's just the three month
old baby making his presence known. But if you guys
want to say hello.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Hello, hello, hello.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah, So talk about my brothers a lot on this podcast.
It's great to finally have one on. And my sister
in law, is it you're my sister in law? That's correct,
that's interesting. This morning I was texting brad our other brother,
and I was like, yeah, don't worry about picking up
my tucks.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Our grandparents got it.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
And I was like, that was the first time I
said our grandparents instead of Kaylen's grandparents. And now I
have to start calling you my sister instead of whatever
else I call you.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I just I just called you Avery before.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
But it's just weird saying don't you think it's kind
of weird going from calling the person they're named then like,
you're gonna call me your brother.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I guess you were married. It's all different. Yeah, it's
all I go. I'm married to your family. You think that.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
But yeah, I wanted to have you guys on the
podcast obviously because we never get to have you on
the podcast and it's just a great opportunity for that.
But you guys have a three month old baby, uh,
and I don't know what do you want to talk
with him about?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Well, this was your idea, what do you want to
talk about? I do want to say though, that we
are sharing mic and you're gonna hear a lot of
Dean's voice because he is a mike hog.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yeah. Well, because you like you like to listen and
I like to talk. So there it's uh.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I when we were so my brother and I hiked
Maroon Bells yesterday. That was my last fourteen er and
I've finished with them now. And the whole time we
were hiking, whenever there's a lapse in the conversation, I
was thinking about all these great ideas about what we
could talk about on the podcast today, but mostly because
when we're hiking, I feel like we could just talk
about anything, and I was like, Oh, all the stuff
that we're talking about here would be great to talk
about on the podcast. But now that we're just sitting
(02:56):
in a hotel room, it's like a little more challenging
to think about what I wanted to talk about.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well, because iHeart does a great job at giving us
rundowns questions to ask and we're just doing it ourselves
right now.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Oh, I got a good question for you guys. We're
getting married in two days. What's some good marriage advice
you have for us?
Speaker 4 (03:13):
This is actually like I talked to cald about yesterday.
I think is cool. Is this idea of micro agreements
And so you're like thinking of all the small parts
of your day and when someone says something your partner specifically,
how do you like use that moment to be kind
of their ally. So, for example, this morning, we were
walking here and I was like, hey, Ross, can I
tell you all the names of all these flowers? And
he could have been like, no, we're in a hurry,
(03:34):
but instead he's like, yes, please do, even though he's
probably not interested.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
A lot of names of new flowers.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
I never knew. I do remember reading about a study
a while ago that said, like they could predict the
likelihood of a divorce by micro agreements throughout the day.
So it's like, if you just disagree over like stupid
little things all the.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Time, it's like your chance of divorce is like way higher.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
What if you're marrying at Countririon.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
It's like, well, Ross second ninety percent of my personality
from Ross. But if you can do it, I'll be
able to figure out way to do it as well.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
I will say yesterday at the car, so we when
we first got married, we definitely quickly had to make
rules of the debate. So like when we were having
a conversation in the car, the rule became like you
cannot just say no, that is not allowed. You can't
speak over each other. We have to define the terms.
And we on the drive here to your guys' wedding,
had our first like flawless debate. There's no interrupting, no
(04:33):
hard nos, and we're really proud of ourselves. So it
took a year, but we can now officially have a
good debate.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
We did it.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I gotta say to you deserve a lot of credit
for that, because I was debating with Ross in the
hot dub last night quite a bit, drinking our beers.
It's like midnight and we're like yelling at each other
about the most meaningless stuff. I'd say it was, it's meaningful,
but like only to that moment, you know, sure, and
Ross was listening. He was, you know, he was processing
everything I had to say, and then he would respawn
(05:00):
to it with like an affirmation and then go off
on his tangent and be like, Wow, Avery's really teaching
aroun us how to have a grown up conversation with someone.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I do want to talk about on the micro agreements,
because I think that's super important. Have you thought about
that before?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I think I'm pretty good at the micro agreements. I
feel like I always give you the space to talk
about whatever you.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Want to talk about.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Granted, and you're not going to be talking about the flowers,
but like if you're like, you want to talk about
pop culture or something, and I couldn't care less about that,
I'd be like, go for it, let's go.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
But we were talking about this yesterday, Like just an example.
Avery gave was like, oh, these flowers are pretty, and
you being like, yeah, the flowers are pretty, versus disagreeing
and be like, well but actually.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
No, I'm just saying.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I think she brought it up to me and I
think it's really smarted.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Yeah, I like, I really whatever you want to get
excited to talk about something, I listen to you, like,
for instance, the last thing I can think of besides
what I was talking about yesterday, the pop culture stuff
you were talking about, the Ashton and Mela stuff and
I don't care, but you. I was just like letting
you go and I was listening and letting you talk
(06:07):
about it.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, but we're talking about agreements versus like just what Anyways,
I just think it's good for us to be aware
of that because she made a good point. She's like,
if your partner doesn't agree with you and like doesn't
have these micro agreements throughout the day, it does kind
of sting a little. So it's a good thing to
be aware of.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I think we talked about your guys' wedding on the
podcast after it happened, and it was the coolest wedding
we've ever been to. So do you guys want to
talk about it or do you want to talk about
your you wanting to do this and set this up
for Avery?
Speaker 5 (06:39):
Yeah, And I guess, just to like recap really quick,
is we went I kind of tricked Avery into marrying me.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I guess.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
She thought she thought we were going on a climbing
trip and in reality, we had all of her family
come down to Tahoe, all of my family, and then
I proposed to her the first day we were there,
and then we got married the next day after that.
So it was like completely a surprise to her and
(07:10):
it was great. And the reason that it was really
good for us is because we're both pretty introverted, and
so it was like kind of skipped all of that
passle and stress of everything that goes into you know,
putting on a wedding and you know, trying to invite
people and where people are going to sit, and you know,
just those million little things. It's like we just kind
of skipped that and it was all just our close
(07:32):
family and we had a really great time and it
was really awesome.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
We were remembering on their drive down. One of the
main ways that Ross tricked me into marrying him is
that we got there the first night. I had no
suspicions that anything different was happening than a normal climbing trip,
and he confirmed that by us not having anywhere to camp.
So we was like we drove all the way there,
it was like ted pm. We're driving on to all
these different campsites, all of them are full, like there's
(07:58):
no blm land near top where we were, so we
ended up like going to a camp guard and camping
right outside the entrance to the camguard on the road,
and then in the morning we woke up super early
and just ducked out. And so if I had any
suspicions that it was a special weekend, they were smashed
right then.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
Yeah, I was really lucky because when I asked Avery's
parents for permission, of course, and Avery's mom was really
excited to like help out and plant. So she's a planner.
I'm obviously not. So she planned everything, and my one
responsibility was camping the first night, so I kind of
blew it. So I was really lucky that she kind
(08:37):
of made it, made it as amazing as it was.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Did you blow it because you guys did sleep somewhere, Yeah,
you slept.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I didn't really blow it.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
I would say it was just maybe a little bit
more less organized than Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
The thing if we had had like a booked campsite,
I would have been like, this is weird. Ross has
never booked a campsite before. This is a lot of planning.
Something is weird.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
What made your guys a super unique and you had
touched on a little bit as you proposed on the
beach in Tahost beautiful moment, but then you were like,
all right, let's go to a bar and celebrate. You
walk into the bar, family's there, surprised to avery, and
then the next surprise was You're like, yeah, we're actually
gonna get married tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Did you mention that already? Yes?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Oh you did, Okay you did, so sorry, there's a
baby crown over there. I was getting a little distracted.
Super unique and super cool too, and I mean it
just takes a special person to be like this is
you know, like if I did that with Kaylin, I'm
sure she would have loved it, but.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Part of it would have been different.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
And it's just so interesting to think, like, you know,
every relationship is that different, and it's great to you
for you to know your partner that well to be like,
this is something that she's going to really appreciate.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Right.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
Yeah, her mom is super skeptical at first, but then
like I think she like kind of asked you, like
to get like your feeling on it, and like you
basically said the same thing, It would have been perfect
if it just happened.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
So I think you're all forgetting that. We were actually
in Vegas for Christmas one. You're all together and we
were going to a Broncos game and we got a
little drunk at the casino before and are we allowed
to talk about drinking? We were a little bit drunk,
and we were in Vegas the lay end of the elopement,
and I was like, rots, let's go right now, let's
(10:24):
get married. I think that probably yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:27):
That was the seed for sure, and what probably would
have happened, but I forgot my license.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
I think you would have done it, not all your license,
you didn't have your wallet. Yeah, can't get married without
a wall.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
Right, And and then and then we talked about it,
like on the car ride home, and I think she
said like, oh, I would just be sad that my
mom wasn't there. So then I was like, okay, like
we it would work. We just got to have like
family there.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
That is how that came together.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Well, for the record, we wanted to do a Vegas
elopement before coming to Aspen, and it takes a lot
more planning than we thought. We always thought you could
just show up and be like, hey, we're drunk, we
want to get married. Granted obviously we would have been sober,
but like that's how you hear about it in Vegas,
Like two drunk people walk into a chapel end up
getting married.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
But it's like a little bit more of a process
than that.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, I was gonna explain. It's you have to get
the marriage license, which but you have to go to
the Clark County Recorder and then you go to wherever
you want to get married. But it's expensive and you
have to schedule. You can't just show up. So like
the only one available was eight pms. I'm like, how
many people are booking out their Vegas weddings this far
in advance? And it would have been five hundred dollars
(11:31):
and we just got our marriage license today it was
thirty dollars. So it's like, you know, made sense.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Yeah, part of the novelty I guess of getting married
and Vegas, and I would have I would have definitely
wanted like an Elvis impersonator to marry. Yes, that's a
next that's en up charge two hundred dollars to have
in Elvis from personator to MARYA.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yeah, and you guys just celebrated your year anniversary probably.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Right, Yeah, yeah, pretty recently, pretty recently, like July.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
July.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Okay, so a couple months ago, which is great. First
year is going good.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Yeah, I mean I keep thinking about our first year
and I'm pretty proud of what we've gone through. I
think it's only going to get easier because we had
a baby, so as pregnant for nine months out of
the twelve.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
While we're remodeling our house. At the same time, we
were living in a job site, basically having a baby.
And yeah, I mean basically all of the stress factors
that you could have are pretty much there.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It worked out.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Yes, here, we are here, We're still here, and I
think better than ever.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yeah, that's good. We need to start defining our debate rules.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
Because you know, yeah, I will say too.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
That was the one thing I was like, the reason
I know this one better is because I'm actually having fun.
And usually Ross would be like blah blah blah blah blah,
and I'd be like, Ross, I'm not having fun. This
is not a fun conversation for me. He's like, I'm
having the best time of my life.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I love debating.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
I'm very passionate about a few subjects, and so when
you get on it.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
I just kind of that was a contentious point last night.
I was like, you are not too passionate, but the
way some of the verbidge you're choosing maybe because he's
a little bit working.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
One of the things we're still working on is he'll
say ninety nine point nine percent sure about everything. It's like,
I'm a ninety nine point nine percent sure.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Of that sure than what he was saying last night.
Last night, he was saying irrefutable, positive.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
And a little bit a few more drinks.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Last So, Ross, you're not giving a speech at the wedding,
but you could give a private speech right now if
you want to.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
A private speech podcast.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Wedding smoothies.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Yeah, Ross doesn't want to give a speech or other
brothers giving a speech, so it's kind of you know.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Yeah, you didn't give a speech at my wedding.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
So I actually was just telling Kaitlin about how sad
I was. I didn't give a speech.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, I was messed up.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
So it was just tough because Avery's brother was still
in the show.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Yeah I couldn't follow him up. Rad obviously wants to
give a speech.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
He did great, and I was like, people are so
of listening to people give speeches, and I got also
self conscious about it, right, But yeah, I do regret that.
I was just telling killing the other day about how
I regret that not giving a speech. So I mean,
you're right, you don't need to give a speech because
I blew it and didn't give a speech.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
A very great Yeah, if.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
You were to give a speech at our wedding.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Wait, actually, what would you have different question?
Speaker 4 (14:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
What a recent We don't need a ross to give
a speech right now, we need you to give the
speech you're going to give it, Ross's what.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
I won't give the speech, but I'll give the gist
of it. I suppose I was thinking about what I
was going to say, and I I just I hate
speeches so much, especially in this like a little intimate
of a setting. I was going to say, basically that
you've been my best friend for my entire life, my
first best friend and my best best friend.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Does that make sense for my entire life?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
And you're the stronger, cooler, smarter, kinder version of me,
and I have always looked up to you and I'll
always look up to you.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
And now that your dad, I think that's really awesome.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
This obviously was not what I would have sad at
the wedding because you don't have a kid then. But
it was basically just that elongated me. It's just saying
how cool I think you are, and how how I
always aspire to be more like you and everything I do.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
That's funny because that was the speech I was going
to give to you.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
No, it's so stupid. I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Every time you say that like nice things about me,
I'm like, I don't get it because your way cooler
than I am.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
No way, And I've always described you as somebody who
has some of my strengths and none of my weaknesses.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
I just disagree with that. I wish I had your strengths,
I mean some of them. Yeah, you got your week,
you got your weaknesses, don't question about that. But my weaknesses,
I think are a little bit more. Uh uh, they're
bigger weaknesses. Yeah, but who knows.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
Yeah, maybe next time you guys hot up together, you
can give each other.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
I like our hot top conversations more than these sappy ones.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
It's interesting though, because it's like you don't it's so
silly to say, but like you should take the opportunity
to tell people how much you care about them more often.
But as brothers and as unglerts as we are, we're
not really good at sharing our emotions. And every time
you miss an opportunity to share it in a setting
where you're like not expected to but you are like
allowed to, I guess more so, And like the wedding,
(16:18):
you guys' wedding, I felt like I missed an opportunity
to say those things. I was like, gosh, darn, and
I wish I could go back in time and say it.
But it all works out for the best. Yeah, yeah,
you said it here, so yeah it happened. Yeah, all right,
So you guys married for a year, and we'll wrap
this up really quick. One maybe piece of advice you
(16:38):
could have for us when it comes to a baby bearing.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Ross.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
For the record, for the listeners out there, Ross is
really adamant about us having a child that basically as
soon as possible.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Oh yeah, Oh.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Every time I talk to every time I talk to Ross,
he's like, so you guys having a baby yet?
Speaker 5 (16:53):
Yeah, Mary, Mary needs a best friend.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Yeah, I mean, it's it's all the cliches, they're all
pretty much true. It does change your life a fair amount.
But the things that are hard are totally outweighed.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Bite. That was the baby, by the way.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
I don't know if you've heard that far, but no, no,
this baby has the most amazing fart to body weight ratio.
It's so insane. If he continues to like hold that
ratio as he grows into an adult, it would be
absolutely terrifying. He fars louder than I do. He fars
louder than I do. It's so crazy.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
So that maybe is a piece of advice is once
you have a baby, blame farts on the baby always
and no one will question it.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah. That's awesome, that's so funny.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Yeah, but I was just, yeah, I was going to say,
like the good parts outweigh. You guys got some baby
smiles this morning. Those baby smiles make all you're worth it,
all the hard stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
But sweet well, thank you guys so much for sitting
down with us for ten minutes. We appreciate it. It's,
you know, not the easiest thing to do sometimes, but
thank you very much. I love both of you, and Murray,
of course I love you as well, even though you
don't know what that means yet.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Thank you to the listeners.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
For tuning in on this weird episode of Help we
Suck At Being Newlyweds?
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Be sure to tune in next week.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
We'll give you some wedding updates where we'll be married
a little less. Typically, what we say is, be sure
to tune in next week where maybe we suck just
a little bit less. Okay, where we suck at being newlyweds,
just we'll actually be newlyweds, So that'll be we'll actually
start sucking at being newlyweds instead of just sucking at
(18:25):
being fiances, which will be a nice change of pace
for us here. Anyways, that's gonna do it. Tune in
next week. We love you, goodbye, Thanks for listening. Follow
us on Instagram at help We Suck at.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Being Newlyweds and email us at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 5 (18:39):
Make sure to write us a review and leave us
five stars.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
We'll see you next time.
Help We Suck At Being Newlywed?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
With Dean Aungler, Haylen miller Key and Jared Haven An
iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
What is going on? Everybody?
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Welcome to it all new special episode of Help We
Suck At Being Newlyweds. We're recording live from the w
aspin Hotel Room three seventy two, and we're doing this
a little differently this week. We don't have any producers
with us. I missed the recording last yesterday because I
was busy hiking him out with my brother who I'll
(00:30):
get to that in a second, And so we're just
recording this right before we drive up to our wedding venue.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Anything you want to add, Yeah, we missed the other
first episode because Dean's Tucks is Lost was lost. Now
it's been found. Been a stressful week.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
It's been fine for us, but it's been stressful for
the producers over at iHeart Radio, who we love so much.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Sorry for having to continuously.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Reschedule, but we have a great episode. We have two
incredibly special guests joining us. Two guests that I thought
we would never get on this podcast, but everyone's been
asking about. Everyone has been dying to get you two
guys on, can I use your real names?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah? Great. We've got Ross.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Bell and Avery Bell joining us all the way from Driggs, Idaho,
and a little Murray Bell. So if you hear some
wrestling around in the background, that's just the three month
old baby making his presence known. But if you guys
want to say hello.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Hello, hello, hello.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah, So talk about my brothers a lot on this podcast.
It's great to finally have one on. And my sister
in law, is it you're my sister in law? That's correct,
that's interesting. This morning I was texting brad our other brother,
and I was like, yeah, don't worry about picking up
my tucks.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Our grandparents got it.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
And I was like, that was the first time I
said our grandparents instead of Kaylen's grandparents. And now I
have to start calling you my sister instead of whatever
else I call you.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I just I just called you Avery before.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
But it's just weird saying don't you think it's kind
of weird going from calling the person they're named then like,
you're gonna call me your brother.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I guess you were married. It's all different. Yeah, it's
all I go. I'm married to your family. You think that.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
But yeah, I wanted to have you guys on the
podcast obviously because we never get to have you on
the podcast and it's just a great opportunity for that.
But you guys have a three month old baby, uh,
and I don't know what do you want to talk
with him about?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Well, this was your idea, what do you want to
talk about? I do want to say though, that we
are sharing mic and you're gonna hear a lot of
Dean's voice because he is a mike hog.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yeah. Well, because you like you like to listen and
I like to talk. So there it's uh.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I when we were so my brother and I hiked
Maroon Bells yesterday. That was my last fourteen er and
I've finished with them now. And the whole time we
were hiking, whenever there's a lapse in the conversation, I
was thinking about all these great ideas about what we
could talk about on the podcast today, but mostly because
when we're hiking, I feel like we could just talk
about anything, and I was like, Oh, all the stuff
that we're talking about here would be great to talk
about on the podcast. But now that we're just sitting
(02:56):
in a hotel room, it's like a little more challenging
to think about what I wanted to talk about.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well, because iHeart does a great job at giving us
rundowns questions to ask and we're just doing it ourselves
right now.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Oh, I got a good question for you guys. We're
getting married in two days. What's some good marriage advice
you have for us?
Speaker 4 (03:13):
This is actually like I talked to cald about yesterday.
I think is cool. Is this idea of micro agreements
And so you're like thinking of all the small parts
of your day and when someone says something your partner specifically,
how do you like use that moment to be kind
of their ally. So, for example, this morning, we were
walking here and I was like, hey, Ross, can I
tell you all the names of all these flowers? And
he could have been like, no, we're in a hurry,
(03:34):
but instead he's like, yes, please do, even though he's
probably not interested.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
A lot of names of new flowers.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
I never knew. I do remember reading about a study
a while ago that said, like they could predict the
likelihood of a divorce by micro agreements throughout the day.
So it's like, if you just disagree over like stupid
little things all the.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Time, it's like your chance of divorce is like way higher.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
What if you're marrying at Countririon.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
It's like, well, Ross second ninety percent of my personality
from Ross. But if you can do it, I'll be
able to figure out way to do it as well.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
I will say yesterday at the car, so we when
we first got married, we definitely quickly had to make
rules of the debate. So like when we were having
a conversation in the car, the rule became like you
cannot just say no, that is not allowed. You can't
speak over each other. We have to define the terms.
And we on the drive here to your guys' wedding,
had our first like flawless debate. There's no interrupting, no
(04:33):
hard nos, and we're really proud of ourselves. So it
took a year, but we can now officially have a
good debate.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
We did it.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I gotta say to you deserve a lot of credit
for that, because I was debating with Ross in the
hot dub last night quite a bit, drinking our beers.
It's like midnight and we're like yelling at each other
about the most meaningless stuff. I'd say it was, it's meaningful,
but like only to that moment, you know, sure, and
Ross was listening. He was, you know, he was processing
everything I had to say, and then he would respawn
(05:00):
to it with like an affirmation and then go off
on his tangent and be like, Wow, Avery's really teaching
aroun us how to have a grown up conversation with someone.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I do want to talk about on the micro agreements,
because I think that's super important. Have you thought about
that before?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I think I'm pretty good at the micro agreements. I
feel like I always give you the space to talk
about whatever you.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Want to talk about.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Granted, and you're not going to be talking about the flowers,
but like if you're like, you want to talk about
pop culture or something, and I couldn't care less about that,
I'd be like, go for it, let's go.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
But we were talking about this yesterday, Like just an example.
Avery gave was like, oh, these flowers are pretty, and
you being like, yeah, the flowers are pretty, versus disagreeing
and be like, well but actually.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
No, I'm just saying.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I think she brought it up to me and I
think it's really smarted.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Yeah, I like, I really whatever you want to get
excited to talk about something, I listen to you, like,
for instance, the last thing I can think of besides
what I was talking about yesterday, the pop culture stuff
you were talking about, the Ashton and Mela stuff and
I don't care, but you. I was just like letting
you go and I was listening and letting you talk
(06:07):
about it.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, but we're talking about agreements versus like just what Anyways,
I just think it's good for us to be aware
of that because she made a good point. She's like,
if your partner doesn't agree with you and like doesn't
have these micro agreements throughout the day, it does kind
of sting a little. So it's a good thing to
be aware of.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I think we talked about your guys' wedding on the
podcast after it happened, and it was the coolest wedding
we've ever been to. So do you guys want to
talk about it or do you want to talk about
your you wanting to do this and set this up
for Avery?
Speaker 5 (06:39):
Yeah, And I guess, just to like recap really quick,
is we went I kind of tricked Avery into marrying me.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I guess.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
She thought she thought we were going on a climbing
trip and in reality, we had all of her family
come down to Tahoe, all of my family, and then
I proposed to her the first day we were there,
and then we got married the next day after that.
So it was like completely a surprise to her and
(07:10):
it was great. And the reason that it was really
good for us is because we're both pretty introverted, and
so it was like kind of skipped all of that
passle and stress of everything that goes into you know,
putting on a wedding and you know, trying to invite
people and where people are going to sit, and you know,
just those million little things. It's like we just kind
of skipped that and it was all just our close
(07:32):
family and we had a really great time and it
was really awesome.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
We were remembering on their drive down. One of the
main ways that Ross tricked me into marrying him is
that we got there the first night. I had no
suspicions that anything different was happening than a normal climbing trip,
and he confirmed that by us not having anywhere to camp.
So we was like we drove all the way there,
it was like ted pm. We're driving on to all
these different campsites, all of them are full, like there's
(07:58):
no blm land near top where we were, so we
ended up like going to a camp guard and camping
right outside the entrance to the camguard on the road,
and then in the morning we woke up super early
and just ducked out. And so if I had any
suspicions that it was a special weekend, they were smashed
right then.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
Yeah, I was really lucky because when I asked Avery's
parents for permission, of course, and Avery's mom was really
excited to like help out and plant. So she's a planner.
I'm obviously not. So she planned everything, and my one
responsibility was camping the first night, so I kind of
blew it. So I was really lucky that she kind
(08:37):
of made it, made it as amazing as it was.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Did you blow it because you guys did sleep somewhere, Yeah,
you slept.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I didn't really blow it.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
I would say it was just maybe a little bit
more less organized than Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
The thing if we had had like a booked campsite,
I would have been like, this is weird. Ross has
never booked a campsite before. This is a lot of planning.
Something is weird.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
What made your guys a super unique and you had
touched on a little bit as you proposed on the
beach in Tahost beautiful moment, but then you were like,
all right, let's go to a bar and celebrate. You
walk into the bar, family's there, surprised to avery, and
then the next surprise was You're like, yeah, we're actually
gonna get married tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Did you mention that already? Yes?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Oh you did, Okay you did, so sorry, there's a
baby crown over there. I was getting a little distracted.
Super unique and super cool too, and I mean it
just takes a special person to be like this is
you know, like if I did that with Kaylin, I'm
sure she would have loved it, but.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Part of it would have been different.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
And it's just so interesting to think, like, you know,
every relationship is that different, and it's great to you
for you to know your partner that well to be like,
this is something that she's going to really appreciate.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Right.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
Yeah, her mom is super skeptical at first, but then
like I think she like kind of asked you, like
to get like your feeling on it, and like you
basically said the same thing, It would have been perfect
if it just happened.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
So I think you're all forgetting that. We were actually
in Vegas for Christmas one. You're all together and we
were going to a Broncos game and we got a
little drunk at the casino before and are we allowed
to talk about drinking? We were a little bit drunk,
and we were in Vegas the lay end of the elopement,
and I was like, rots, let's go right now, let's
(10:24):
get married. I think that probably yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:27):
That was the seed for sure, and what probably would
have happened, but I forgot my license.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
I think you would have done it, not all your license,
you didn't have your wallet. Yeah, can't get married without
a wall.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
Right, And and then and then we talked about it,
like on the car ride home, and I think she
said like, oh, I would just be sad that my
mom wasn't there. So then I was like, okay, like
we it would work. We just got to have like
family there.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
That is how that came together.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Well, for the record, we wanted to do a Vegas
elopement before coming to Aspen, and it takes a lot
more planning than we thought. We always thought you could
just show up and be like, hey, we're drunk, we
want to get married. Granted obviously we would have been sober,
but like that's how you hear about it in Vegas,
Like two drunk people walk into a chapel end up
getting married.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
But it's like a little bit more of a process
than that.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, I was gonna explain. It's you have to get
the marriage license, which but you have to go to
the Clark County Recorder and then you go to wherever
you want to get married. But it's expensive and you
have to schedule. You can't just show up. So like
the only one available was eight pms. I'm like, how
many people are booking out their Vegas weddings this far
in advance? And it would have been five hundred dollars
(11:31):
and we just got our marriage license today it was
thirty dollars. So it's like, you know, made sense.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Yeah, part of the novelty I guess of getting married
and Vegas, and I would have I would have definitely
wanted like an Elvis impersonator to marry. Yes, that's a
next that's en up charge two hundred dollars to have
in Elvis from personator to MARYA.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yeah, and you guys just celebrated your year anniversary probably.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Right, Yeah, yeah, pretty recently, pretty recently, like July.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
July.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Okay, so a couple months ago, which is great. First
year is going good.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Yeah, I mean I keep thinking about our first year
and I'm pretty proud of what we've gone through. I
think it's only going to get easier because we had
a baby, so as pregnant for nine months out of
the twelve.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
While we're remodeling our house. At the same time, we
were living in a job site, basically having a baby.
And yeah, I mean basically all of the stress factors
that you could have are pretty much there.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It worked out.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Yes, here, we are here, We're still here, and I
think better than ever.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yeah, that's good. We need to start defining our debate rules.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
Because you know, yeah, I will say too.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
That was the one thing I was like, the reason
I know this one better is because I'm actually having fun.
And usually Ross would be like blah blah blah blah blah,
and I'd be like, Ross, I'm not having fun. This
is not a fun conversation for me. He's like, I'm
having the best time of my life.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I love debating.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
I'm very passionate about a few subjects, and so when
you get on it.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
I just kind of that was a contentious point last night.
I was like, you are not too passionate, but the
way some of the verbidge you're choosing maybe because he's
a little bit working.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
One of the things we're still working on is he'll
say ninety nine point nine percent sure about everything. It's like,
I'm a ninety nine point nine percent sure.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Of that sure than what he was saying last night.
Last night, he was saying irrefutable, positive.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
And a little bit a few more drinks.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Last So, Ross, you're not giving a speech at the wedding,
but you could give a private speech right now if
you want to.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
A private speech podcast.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Wedding smoothies.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Yeah, Ross doesn't want to give a speech or other
brothers giving a speech, so it's kind of you know.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Yeah, you didn't give a speech at my wedding.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
So I actually was just telling Kaitlin about how sad
I was. I didn't give a speech.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, I was messed up.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
So it was just tough because Avery's brother was still
in the show.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Yeah I couldn't follow him up. Rad obviously wants to
give a speech.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
He did great, and I was like, people are so
of listening to people give speeches, and I got also
self conscious about it, right, But yeah, I do regret that.
I was just telling killing the other day about how
I regret that not giving a speech. So I mean,
you're right, you don't need to give a speech because
I blew it and didn't give a speech.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
A very great Yeah, if.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
You were to give a speech at our wedding.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Wait, actually, what would you have different question?
Speaker 4 (14:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
What a recent We don't need a ross to give
a speech right now, we need you to give the
speech you're going to give it, Ross's what.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
I won't give the speech, but I'll give the gist
of it. I suppose I was thinking about what I
was going to say, and I I just I hate
speeches so much, especially in this like a little intimate
of a setting. I was going to say, basically that
you've been my best friend for my entire life, my
first best friend and my best best friend.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Does that make sense for my entire life?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
And you're the stronger, cooler, smarter, kinder version of me,
and I have always looked up to you and I'll
always look up to you.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
And now that your dad, I think that's really awesome.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
This obviously was not what I would have sad at
the wedding because you don't have a kid then. But
it was basically just that elongated me. It's just saying
how cool I think you are, and how how I
always aspire to be more like you and everything I do.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
That's funny because that was the speech I was going
to give to you.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
No, it's so stupid. I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Every time you say that like nice things about me,
I'm like, I don't get it because your way cooler
than I am.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
No way, And I've always described you as somebody who
has some of my strengths and none of my weaknesses.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
I just disagree with that. I wish I had your strengths,
I mean some of them. Yeah, you got your week,
you got your weaknesses, don't question about that. But my weaknesses,
I think are a little bit more. Uh uh, they're
bigger weaknesses. Yeah, but who knows.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
Yeah, maybe next time you guys hot up together, you
can give each other.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
I like our hot top conversations more than these sappy ones.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
It's interesting though, because it's like you don't it's so
silly to say, but like you should take the opportunity
to tell people how much you care about them more often.
But as brothers and as unglerts as we are, we're
not really good at sharing our emotions. And every time
you miss an opportunity to share it in a setting
where you're like not expected to but you are like
allowed to, I guess more so, And like the wedding,
(16:18):
you guys' wedding, I felt like I missed an opportunity
to say those things. I was like, gosh, darn, and
I wish I could go back in time and say it.
But it all works out for the best. Yeah, yeah,
you said it here, so yeah it happened. Yeah, all right,
So you guys married for a year, and we'll wrap
this up really quick. One maybe piece of advice you
(16:38):
could have for us when it comes to a baby bearing.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Ross.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
For the record, for the listeners out there, Ross is
really adamant about us having a child that basically as
soon as possible.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Oh yeah, Oh.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Every time I talk to every time I talk to Ross,
he's like, so you guys having a baby yet?
Speaker 5 (16:53):
Yeah, Mary, Mary needs a best friend.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Yeah, I mean, it's it's all the cliches, they're all
pretty much true. It does change your life a fair amount.
But the things that are hard are totally outweighed.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Bite. That was the baby, by the way.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
I don't know if you've heard that far, but no, no,
this baby has the most amazing fart to body weight ratio.
It's so insane. If he continues to like hold that
ratio as he grows into an adult, it would be
absolutely terrifying. He fars louder than I do. He fars
louder than I do. It's so crazy.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
So that maybe is a piece of advice is once
you have a baby, blame farts on the baby always
and no one will question it.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah. That's awesome, that's so funny.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Yeah, but I was just, yeah, I was going to say,
like the good parts outweigh. You guys got some baby
smiles this morning. Those baby smiles make all you're worth it,
all the hard stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
But sweet well, thank you guys so much for sitting
down with us for ten minutes. We appreciate it. It's,
you know, not the easiest thing to do sometimes, but
thank you very much. I love both of you, and Murray,
of course I love you as well, even though you
don't know what that means yet.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Thank you to the listeners.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
For tuning in on this weird episode of Help we
Suck At Being Newlyweds?
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Be sure to tune in next week.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
We'll give you some wedding updates where we'll be married
a little less. Typically, what we say is, be sure
to tune in next week where maybe we suck just
a little bit less. Okay, where we suck at being newlyweds,
just we'll actually be newlyweds, So that'll be we'll actually
start sucking at being newlyweds instead of just sucking at
(18:25):
being fiances, which will be a nice change of pace
for us here. Anyways, that's gonna do it. Tune in
next week. We love you, goodbye, Thanks for listening. Follow
us on Instagram at help We Suck at.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Being Newlyweds and email us at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 5 (18:39):
Make sure to write us a review and leave us
five stars.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
We'll see you next time.
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