May 15, 2023 • 45 mins
Could you do a long distance relationship?? Becca feels like she’s basically living one with Hayley on tour, and you might be surprised by how Tanya would handle a move to London!
We go through the “icks” some people have on a first date and we analyze a REAL first date from one of our producers to see if the “icks” are too much!
Plus, Becca and Tanya share some crucial advice on how to deal with an anxious attachment style in a relationship.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. I feel like I
haven't seen well, I've seen you, but I feel like
we haven't done the podcast in a minute because we
kind of did.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
An early one last week. That's right, so it's been
a minute.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Yeah. I like doing a podcast on a different day,
though it was different energy.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Yeah, it's fun, good times. Great to see you.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Great to see you. Good I'm doing I'm tired, Okay,
I'm into well, no, I'm really into this new Jude show.
It's not new, it's old. It's called Yellow Jackets, but
it's new to me and I stayed up till eleven
thirty watching it last night.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
You're a bad, bad girl.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
No, it's like, yeah, on an early morning next day
for work, so it's really a problem.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
But there's there's not there's how many seasons, like two, three, two,
so you could be caught up pretty soon and get on.
Speaker 5 (00:57):
It's in its second season.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Okay currently, oh currently, Yeah, you know, it's so funny.
So we got showtime just to watch this show, Okay,
but we don't want to keep having showtime because I
don't want to watch anything else on show time. So
I put in my calendar for a month to like
be activated thing. But I don't know if we're going
to get it all in by that.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Time, like last night. That's going to help, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Yeah, I got to push through.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Yeah, these nights are going to be big for you
the eleven thirties.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Yeah, because I'm so annoyed, like I don't want one
more streaming service that I have to buy.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
But the nice thing about the streaming services is that
you can have it for a month and cancel it.
By the way, if somebody's really strapped for cash, on
these you can stop Netflix for a month and then
get it again in a month. You know you can
do that.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
You can just going.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
I was going to ask you. I was trying to
find it and I couldn't figure out what on showtime?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
You have to download another app on your TV?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
My do I have energy? I don't know? And to
like take the risk. What if I don't like the show,
you will You said that about a lot of shows
that I know.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
It's so good.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
It's a little darker than I usually like I am
in a.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Darker face because also breaking bad very Wow.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Yeah, I don't watched it. Don't tell me.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Are you not caught up?
Speaker 4 (02:08):
No?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Okay, it's gotten starting with episode four, which is mind blowing.
It's incredible.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Anyway, so great Yellow Jackets. I watched the pilot. It's
really good.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
It's really good.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
All right, Well, I got some you got some backup
in here, although they also liked Ted Lasso and Dreary Duty.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
So you know, you're in the minority, not just in
this room.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
But the world.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
But I'm just saying, like I it's hard to say, like, oh,
Tanya loves it, so I'm gonna love it. You know,
I don't, unfortunately, feel the trust in that. That's okay,
it's more on me though it's not your fault.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
So I went to last time we talked.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I was gonna I was like going to surprise Haley
for in Denver, and she was like, I knew it
when she saw because I I snuck onto the bus
to surprise her.
Speaker 6 (02:54):
And then I had.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Brought her friend Monica and she was in the room
and so I go on the bus and he was
like I knew it, and I'm like, no, you did not,
because I made up this whole elaborate thing that I
had to go to San Diego for work and it
was awkward.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
That's probably why she knew it.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
No, she was I told her I had to go
with this girl that I didn't know very well and
we had to share a room because I was trying
to figure out how I could like be in the
hotel without being in the room, so she didn't see Monica,
and so I was like, I'm staying with this girl
I don't know, Like it's kind of awkward, and so
I'm just kind of to like come out in the
hallway and talk to you. And she's like, I can't
believe they made you stay like with someone that you
don't know, Like that's so uncomfortable. So like she was
(03:31):
totally one thousand percent bought my scheme.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
I don't know if she did, though she did.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
She admitted it. She was like I had lost hope
when you So then how did she know?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I think she just always had a feeling maybe I
show up, or like held on hope.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
That I show up, or maybe she you were gonna
show up but not exactly when you did.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
No, I think she just had like a feeling because
we had talked about like, oh, we'll see each other.
That'll be like around the two week mark, so we'll
see each other around then and so anyways, but she
didn't know that Monica was there, so that got the tears.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
That was the surprise.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah, so it wasn't a complete fail on the surprise aspect.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
But she was so happy.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
She was so happy. But she spends really sick.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
She's had like a sinus infection that like will not
go away, so she has not been able to catch
up on like sleep because you sleeping on the bus.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
And yeah, I don't know how. I don't know how
people do this lifestyle, right, it's.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Terrible, Like think about let's just say the Jonas brothers.
They're gone because they're going back out on tour, did they?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
But they probably all have their own bus like they
probable the bus.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
The bus is a bus is a bus.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, but I think when you have your whole bus
to yourself, it's a little more comfortable than sharing it
with like however many sixteen people or whatever.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
I don't know about that. Yeah, either way, it's not
sixteen people.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I think there's like seven or something. A bus there's
sixteen people, not two buses.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
No, how do you fit that many beds in there?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
They're just two three toward each other.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I've never seen a bus that big.
Speaker 6 (05:02):
Well it's a.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Double decker, but they're all the buses are on the
same level. Anyways, it's exhausting. I don't know how she
does it. And it was great to see her. And
then she's in La tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
So just a little longer.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
She on tour until like June or something June at
the beginning of June, forgot what month.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
We were like into May, but June is in the
getting of June.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah, that's like so two three weeks. Yeah, she has
so you're in the home stretch. Yeah, and I really
felt great, Like I'm a little concerned about that little
dark spell I had.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Why because she came in like a wrecking ball, and
she stirred some things up, and then she went away,
and so now I'm like, will it come back unexpectedly
or am I good? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Well what triggered it was the fact that she was away,
so you might be triggered for a while.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Right, and being in Europe thing, the time zone thing
really shook me up.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
That was really bad. Don't recommend that.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, Hannah and I were actually talking about it because
we we went to we had a date night on
a Friday night. It was so fun and we were
talking about because your ex you were long distance but
same time zone, and that was still hard.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:22):
I couldn't do it.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Yeah, it's very it's very weird, like it messes.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
It messed with my head in a way that I
wasn't expecting it to.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
So it happens.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I can't believe you did long distance with your first
like your long term relation.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Yeah, but that was just San Diego, San Diego, La.
So it's like long distance because we're not in the
same city. We couldn't see each other in Arizona. He
ended up moving to Arizona. Yeah, but like the first
two years was La to San Diego.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Still, So, y'all never actually lived in the same city.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Never. No, that's shocking, Mom, what's clinging?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
How do I.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
She said it first?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Yeah, it's true though, Like I could not imagine, like
if Robbie lived in San Diego, that would be horrendous
for me at this point in my life. But I
think at the point of my life when I was
dating my ex. I was started out working for the
morning show, and like I was there twelve hours a day,
so it almost was better because I wasn't able to
(07:25):
commit my time to anything else but work. So it
was like I worked Monday through Friday and then I
would leave first thing after I finished working, and I
had all weekend with him.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
That I mean, when you're busy, when you have stuff
going on, Yeah, it makes a very big difference.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Yeah. I think that's the only reason why it was
like fine for me.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Yeah, you're like, I don't even have the capacity, Yes,
the girlfriend during the week, I'm correct, all right, well
that makes more sense. But now in these times of
your life. No, Like I probably was like, I have
to move to London for a year, what would you do?
Speaker 4 (07:58):
See if I could do the show out in London? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Wow, she went straight to.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Yeah, I don't know what I mean. If it was
for a year, I think I would be able to, Like,
if there was like a start in an end time,
I think I'd be okay with it. Okay, But if
it was like in perpetuity, not knowing when he'd be back,
that would be a major problem.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Great like big word throwing right there.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Which one.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Perpetuity?
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Perpetunity often? Oh yeah, word of the day. Yeah, no, perpetuity.
I don't know why, but I feel like I use
it often.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Great.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Yeah, proud of you.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Thank you because you did do a comparison.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Oh, because I post about the Denny Henry thing and
he said it's like comparing it.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Was actually perfect.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Oh what was it again?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Comparing a watermelon? Comparing Henry to Denny as I comparing
a watermelon to a penny.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, can you explain that, maybe for.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Because it's not even They're not even the same category.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Henry and Jeff saying that, so a watermelon Jeff and
the penny Scott fully agree with that.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Okay, so so this is what started I posted.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I said, I have an unpopular opinion Henry's death. I've
been watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy solid.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
By the way, just newsflash for those of you who.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Are not watching watching Camilla next week, we do.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yeah right, yeah, I'm caught up. Yeah it's really good.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Okay, I'll gently take your work from that.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
But anyways, I posted that like, Henry's death affected me
way more than Denny, Like I have never Denny.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Was like, oh, that's sad. Like I felt bad, but
like that.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Was kind of it because it didn't it wasn't realistic
in the sense that like they didn't know each other
outside of of that situation. It just felt very like
over dramaticized to me. And then I felt like Henry,
we got to know him, he and Teddy fell in love.
We got to like watch her fall in love with
him through their situation. And then it happened unexpectedly. And
(10:02):
remember when Christina was operating on him but she didn't
know it was him.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
He died, and then that was messed up. That was
some dark stuff shot it did.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Yeah, that was messed up.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
That was some sinister writing.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah, watch Yellow Jackets, you'll get some dark stuff there too.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Some shocked that you're into.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
That, me too, but I am so Yeah, I got
And a lot of people said they agreed with me.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
They're like telling me, is not gonna like this?
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Well, and I, in fact I cantlope no, no. See,
that's the thing, that's why I didn't choose another fruit
exactly that they're not.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Even people like people like candlopes, some people like water.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
They're not even in the same category of fruit. That's
why I went penny and penny.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
But whuldn't you say, like some people think like the
value of a penny is worth more than a piece
of currency.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
I'd say less people think that.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Okay, maybe that's the next one.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Juicy watermelon, nothing better on a summer day.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah, you wouldn't trade a watermelon for a penny.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
No, I don't think I would never trade.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You're going through in your life. We can't speak for
everyone in this.
Speaker 7 (11:07):
A mouthful of pennies just hits the spot.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
About Okay, So this week I just want to defend
Grace for a second. Speaking of Camilla, I love what
she's got going on right now. There's a really hot
dude who's laid up there week after week, Sam Sutton.
Sam Sutton is the patient, he broke ninety three bones,
and he's very into Joe Joe. Sorry, I am met
(11:32):
with character names. And so Link's kind of be like, whoa, whoa,
what's going on here? And I like how this is divine?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Are they together Joe and Link?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Not really, they're living together, but they're not an established relationships.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
There's all this there was a whole thing where he.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Was in love with their feelings on both sides, and
she kind of was in and then he was like
not responding that he was in, and she wasn't responding.
And now he's going to be all in because she's
like in the attention she's getting from Sam. It's very good.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
It's so annoying that it takes somebody else looking at
your girl to like make you want to go for
your girl.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
And and I don't know their names, I'm sorry, the
new people, the young shepherd, yes, right, and you know
he's still into I don't know their names. The one
who's getting married, Yes, it's doctor Griffin.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Oh oh, who's she married?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
She's married her ex boyfriend. You haven't watched in months?
Speaker 3 (12:20):
No, have it? Yeah? Oh oh.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
So they're trying to make this like April Jackson. They're
trying to make I don't know, like Denny and Izzy.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I don't know, but I'm really enjoying it. You guys
are carrying a water melody Penny.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
We'll ask Camilla what she thinks. Was she more devastated
for Denny's death or Henry's.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I think she's going to give the popular answer, which
is Denny, even though if you really go deeper, it's
not true.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
We'll just have to wait and see, won't we won't we?
Speaker 6 (12:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Week away?
Speaker 3 (12:53):
What else have you been up to you? Okay? So
I just never want to know.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I got back into La from Denver, and my spidy
senses were like, mm is Tanya in a good place
or a bad place? Something was tingling and within me
and I was like, couldn't figure it out. I'm like
texting her. She is like ghosting me. I got ghosted
so many times by Tanya this past week that all
I feel well, I mean, it doesn't feel great, but
(13:19):
like I moved on.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
You know, I didn't attack you. I just was like, hey,
everything good. Sometimes you need to be attacked.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
You wanted to be attacked sometimes. Yeah, I do like
a little extra attention, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Oh well, I thought me texting and following up was
like enough attention.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
So do you want to explain yourself? Like what was going?
Were you just so busy to be honest?
Speaker 4 (13:41):
To be totally honest? Last week, whenever I do things
on Sundays, we went to American Idol last Sunday, last
last Sunday. Whenever I do something on a Sunday, it
really sets my week off too into a like a
tailspin because I feel like I don't really like on Sundays,
I need to rest. It's like, really my only rest day,
(14:01):
and I don't rest. I feel like I've like lost
myself in this whirlwind of the week. It's so weird. Okay,
that little tiny like thing. But anyways, so I was
very busy on Sunday, and then we had a very
wild Monday at work. We had ed Shecheron in here.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Oh love him, love him, love him. I've loved him forever,
but I love him more than ever.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Nods they're not into him, and I'm really trying to
turn that on that because he's the best.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
You know what I don't like.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
The thing that's so cool about him is he's not
trying to be anything but himself, do you know what
I mean? Like he's not trying to be this pop star.
He's not like trying to stay cool or relevant. He's
just being who he is and just take it, take
it for take it or leave it basically. And I
love that attitude so much because he's not like trying.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
He just does what he loves and he's like if
people love it, great, and if they don't, I'm going
to find a way to keep doing it, because that's
all I want to do.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Yeah, And he is the cutest wife, and he's so cool.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
She's so cool, and he's so humble, like he shakes
everyone's hand, he looks everybody in the eye. He's just
a great human. And sometimes I sit there and I
really think about the numbers when he's touring stadiums, right,
I mean, think about the ticket and what his overhead is.
He just wears his normal clothes and he's got a
little pedal on the no lasers, no dancers, no costumes. No,
(15:26):
I mean he has like the big screens. He's probably
making so much money.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
His last tour is like one of the highest grossing
toys of all time, The Divide.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Yeah, because he has no overhead. Think about it, Like,
think about if you look at Taylor show, She's got
all those dancers, all those costumes, all those effects, all
that like pyro and smoke and machines and all that.
That all costs so much money. Yeah, he has none
of that.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
You walk away from a tailor show and you're like,
I'll never ever ever forget this.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I'm not saying I'm not saying it's not worth it.
I think I obviously I love Taylor's.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Anything more for what he's selling or just.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Something about that aspect is just it really like throws me.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Yeah, yeah, he's great. I love him.
Speaker 6 (16:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
So that was like a lot. And then I just
feel like I've had something, I had something on top
of work every single day and.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
It's just yeah, yeah, So I blame char And for
like your ghosting.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Just blame my time, my Hashi motos.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Oh wow, we took a turn there. Great.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
But then I got to see what the soccer game
went to, the Angel City game. Yes, was that your
first one.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
First soccer game ever?
Speaker 6 (16:42):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
What do you think?
Speaker 4 (16:44):
If I'm being honest, I was not super paying attention
to the game, okay, but I thought it was fun. Yeah,
I'm starting to like sporting events. I think it's like
a cute hang And they had these chimoy dipped uh
he chimoy dipped gummy bears and peat rings that were divine.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
Delicious, delicious. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
I pushed back on my hashymotives test two days so
that I could get that out of my system because
I was like, this feels like I should not be
eating this before I retest all my stuff.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
This was Saturday.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
This was Saturday. I was supposed to retest today Washington, Washington.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I'm seeing if.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
No, they were in white uniforms.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Who won.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Washington?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Very good, they're undefeated Washington.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Yeah, good job.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Washington.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
I felt like Robbie had a great time.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
He was really into the just he loves questions and
finding out what everything that's going on in the No.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Yeah, I was really surprised when I when you sent
me the text you want to go to this Angel
City soccer and asked him. He was like, yeah, that's
so cool, and I was like, wow, who is such
a soccer fan.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
He's just a fan.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
He's just happy to be. He's just happy to live, laugh,
love and watch sports.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
That's very true. That's very true. But you're like a
regular now.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Yeah, I just like am at the games and just
go you.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
Know, yeah, hot dogs, nacho Yeah, I just know the.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Drill when the nacho bar comes out, you know, that's
the second half.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Like that's all good, good stuff.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
It is cute, though I do want to make it
kind of like a thing.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
It's very it's so fun. It's really cool to see
like a a like special, especially like a women's sports team.
Being like celebrated and supported.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Yeah, so Hannah and I went to Okay. So Thursday night,
I got this paint with diamonds craft and it's just
like it's like coated and then they send you the
colors and you just match the colors and you just
stick them on.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
You made Haley, it was like a watercolor thing.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
That was a painting thing that was so hard.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
You did, say, paint with diamonds, diamond paint?
Speaker 6 (18:56):
That is it called diamond painted?
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Yeah, or like I don't know, are paint. Yeah. Anyways,
you're like sticking the little diamonds on.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
It's a very mindless, just like relaxing craft, you.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Know, ires of it. I see what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Yeah, it's really cool.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Anyways, I just had a playlist going and the song
comes on and I just kept hitting repeat, repeat, repeat,
and finally I look at it and it's Dermick Kennedy,
which I've heard his name, but I've never like known
his music or anything. And so I posted and I
posted on my Instagram like I just heard the song
for the first time. I'm obsessed, and everyone was like,
he's amazing, and then people said he's gonna be in
(19:31):
La tomorrow, Like, you have to go to his show.
He's incredible live and normally I'm not one to go
to a show if I don't like.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Know a lot of the music.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
Yeah, but I was like why not?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
So I text Hana because we were dming about him,
and I'm like, what are you doing tonight?
Speaker 3 (19:46):
And she was like nothing.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
So we went and had a cute dinner and drinks
and then we went to the show and it was.
Speaker 8 (19:55):
It was amenable. It was like one of the best
concerts I've ever been to.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
It was this guy, I sent you this s Did
you listen? No?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
I know you did it because you would have said something, yeah,
this is this is where we're at in our friendship
right now. We're in like a little bit of like
a testy tension area, which is fine, you go through it.
But but anyways, it was at the YouTube Theater, which
is by So five. It was my first time.
Speaker 6 (20:20):
My first time too. It was amazing. It was amazing
a YouTube theater. One night.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful, good clean and new so clean.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
A lot of parking around there.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Great park so then yeah, the parking we pull up
and we're like, hey, there's a guy standing We're like,
where's the closest parking to the theater and he's like, well,
right there, but that's VIP. I had to like pre
purchase it. And we're like can we can we purchase it?
And he's like, here's what I'll do. He was like,
I'm actually I'm scanning your ticket, but if you ven
(20:50):
me fifty dollars.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Really, we were like, soul, We're like, you got it.
We went parked right in front of the theater. It's amazing.
Speaker 6 (20:58):
It was luxury.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Tried to do that at the Angel City game and
did not work for me. Oh yeah, but she was no,
we didn't. We tried to buy that, but she was
in She was in a booth with like another worker,
So I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Maybe that was this guy was secluded. He may not
have been a parking attendant.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
We don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
But we had great parking.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
But one thing that Hannah and I talked about is
that she went on a recent date last weekend and
I want to talk about it, but we're going to
take a break first.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
All right, we are back.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
So Hannah went on a date, and this was your
first date since.
Speaker 8 (22:01):
I broke up with my ex boyfriend, which was when
about a year ago. So okay, I've been single like
officially for a year and we dated for about four
and a half years.
Speaker 6 (22:12):
Okay, so this was a big deal.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
And this was, like you were saying, one of your
just first like actual like a date because you and
your ex men in college.
Speaker 8 (22:19):
Yeah, one of my first first dates because I met
my ex in college. And you know, when you're in college,
you don't actually go on real dates. You just like
come out at the frat parties. And we got to
know each other drunk. It wasn't anything romantic at all.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
It was college romance. Yeah, it was college at its
finest direct.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Well before you went on this, So y'all, you and
this guy met up at State. Y'all saw each other
at stage coach, and you knew each other from like
from college. You went from college together, but had never
been out before.
Speaker 6 (22:48):
No, never.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
So we did the podcast we recorded before I went
to Denver on Thursday, and the date was happening on Saturday.
Speaker 6 (22:55):
Is that right? Saturday?
Speaker 3 (22:56):
So Hannah was very nervous during that.
Speaker 6 (23:00):
Do you remember this?
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Yeah, but we made her nervous, you guys. Yeah, she
was totally fine until we talked about it.
Speaker 8 (23:06):
Why do we say that made you nervous because we
were talking about all the alone time in the car
and what we were going to talk about, and if
I wanted to escape him, I couldn't.
Speaker 6 (23:15):
I started spiraling.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
So hard after telling you guys, Okay, Well, and I
don't know if Tanya wants to take this defense, but
my defense. My thought is like, if I'm going on
a first date and I'm nervous, I don't know that
I'm gonna have a whole twenty four hours with that person.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
I kept going back to the Chicago guy that I
dated that came in town to visit me, and I
wanted to like cry after an hour.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
That was doctor screen time for those who have kept up.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
Yeah, so that was my only knee jerk. Is like
when somebody's traveling to you.
Speaker 8 (23:45):
It definitely felt like a very intense first date. Yeah,
it wasn't just like dinner. It was a whole It
was a whole thing. But it ended up being great.
Speaker 6 (23:53):
It ended up being really fun.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
What did y'all do?
Speaker 8 (23:56):
We went to the Warriors and Lakers game, so we
had an activity to do, which is good.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (24:01):
Long, Yeah, and I'm a giant Warriors fan fortune.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
I know, I know, well you guys they also be
easy yeah, so easy.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
No, but it was it was really fun.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
Oh they're out now, Yeah they lost because they lost
the Lakers. They're out completely. Yep, that's very devastate.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
But y'all got to go see them.
Speaker 6 (24:22):
We got to go see them.
Speaker 8 (24:24):
It was his first time seeing Lebron James in person,
so it was really funny. He was like all tickled
and really excited. Yeah, but I told him he had
to be a Warriors fan, and every time that the
Lakers like made a basket, he would get really excited
and then he'd be like, oh, never mind, like that
was actually bad. It was funny, endearing yeah, ok, yes,
cut Yeah, Like it was charming to see him like
(24:46):
geek out over athletes. Yeah, definitely, so was the conversation
did a flow? Conversations flowed. It was a good first date.
I mean, I have nothing to compare it to, but
I thought it was pretty good.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Like you'd see him again, yeah, I would, Okay, were
there any X that happened?
Speaker 6 (25:05):
We talked about this at dinner.
Speaker 8 (25:07):
I I just don't know if I'd actually ever find
someone that I could both because I get the ick
so easily. And the biggest thing for me, and I
know that you guys talk about this a lot. His
hands and feet, it's like the biggest thing. He didn't
wear flip flops, thank god, because then I would have
told him to just go home. Like there's no way
I would have like hung out with him if he
(25:29):
showed up in flip flops. But his hands aren't the best,
and it's it's kind of sh They're just not as
manly as I would like. And the fingernails are a
little too short.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
Okay, there's too much skin of the nail.
Speaker 6 (25:49):
He doesn't bite them. I just don't think they grow.
And it's no they grow.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
He bites them.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
They bite that to person, he may just have short bite,
and that's a whole other thing.
Speaker 5 (26:02):
I'm like so much of my hands.
Speaker 8 (26:05):
But we were talking about this at dinner, Like it's
such a fine line. Your nails can't be too short,
but they also can't be too long. If there's any
white showing on the nails, I'm freaked out.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, can you evaluate my hands?
Speaker 6 (26:17):
No, this is.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
A live showing.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Take me out of this. Yeah, I'm just looking at
your hands. Guy, I'm a.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
Guy's doing that. I'm gonna get a picture of a
good parent.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Hand and these are my hands, and that's gonna.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Be nobody knows.
Speaker 8 (26:33):
I think Mark, you have really good hands for a guy.
They're manly and muscular.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
I haven't had a lot of hard work in my life, labor,
I don't.
Speaker 8 (26:43):
Okay, though, No, those are good hands. Okay, I'm nervous
to see Easton's.
Speaker 5 (26:46):
For delicates over here, all.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Right, staring, she's staring.
Speaker 8 (26:57):
They're not as good as Marks, but they're not horrible.
Speaker 6 (27:01):
They just look a bit too like.
Speaker 8 (27:02):
They're very manicured and nice.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
You'd like that. Let me see that makes you're not muscly.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
No, just takes some squeezing of like.
Speaker 5 (27:17):
Block or anything.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
No, I let me see your's mark.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
All right, let me get out. I got out of
my chair.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
Okay, I have a picture, but it's not the best angle.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
But I'm just gonna is this if you know who? Yeah,
let's see.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
I think you both have nice hands. Like I wouldn't
be like I wouldn't list y'all is like a problem.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
They're not the best at all angle.
Speaker 6 (27:39):
They're they're good hands.
Speaker 8 (27:40):
The only thing and this is personal, it's a little hairy.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Oh yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Yeah, okay, Donny likes a lot of hair, got it.
Speaker 6 (27:48):
I like zero hair.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
So neither mind nor reasons would be deal breakers for
you on a date if our hands were attention.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
I don't actually think hers is a deal deal breaker.
Speaker 6 (27:57):
It's just something.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
It is something.
Speaker 8 (27:59):
You never look at his hands.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Did you see his feet?
Speaker 2 (28:03):
No?
Speaker 8 (28:04):
And I'm scared to see his feet. And he's like
very athletic and goes on a lot of runs, and.
Speaker 6 (28:09):
I'm just worried about.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Yeah, there be some twisted, contorted situations.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
With the tiny little toenail and the big like what.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Yeah like or the skin like fully overlapped.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
His fingernails are too short, like.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
A Chris toenail.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
When you said that, I almost blocked.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I don't think I know that.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
His Instagram he posted on the met Galley. He was like,
my met Gala looks like you saw this?
Speaker 8 (28:38):
Yeah, you know it feels illegal.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
There was another agch that we talked about.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
The other one. I feel like bad saying this.
Speaker 8 (28:49):
I don't know why, but he keeps sending me my
god like songs.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
What's wrong with that?
Speaker 6 (28:58):
It's just like, what do I say to that? And
why are you sending me that.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
They're romantic?
Speaker 8 (29:05):
Like some of them are like some of them are
songs that we like heard of Stagecoach or whatever, or
some are.
Speaker 6 (29:10):
Just random songs.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
But what are the lyrics?
Speaker 8 (29:13):
The lyrics, I mean, they're all country songs, so they're.
Speaker 4 (29:16):
Like, they're probably like cute lyrics, but.
Speaker 6 (29:18):
Don't send it to me.
Speaker 5 (29:19):
He's just sending Spotify links and what he said.
Speaker 8 (29:21):
Luckily it's Apple Music, which is a green flag because
I use Apple Music.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
Oh wow, yeah, name one song?
Speaker 8 (29:30):
Oh goodness, something by Tyler Chiulders.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Oh, he's pretty emotional and romantic.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
I feel No, it wasn't that.
Speaker 8 (29:39):
It was Shake the Frost, which which is kind of
my gosh. Now I'm now I'm creeped out thinking about
him sending me songs.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
What's not Shape the Frost?
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Shake?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
What's his motivation? Is totallylist?
Speaker 8 (29:58):
Yeah, it's probably I think I'm just reading too much
into probably, but he's sending too many Okay, no like daily,
no contact, No, not daily, And it hasn't he hasn't
done it in.
Speaker 6 (30:10):
A couple of days, which is good. But I just
don't know how to respond to it.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
And you don't think the lyrics are apropos, like, for example,
with shake the Frost, he's not saying to you, you
remind me of a Sunday back home in old Kentucky
with the church choirs. Just belt into the pineys.
Speaker 6 (30:28):
No, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Okay, So I when I first met Haley, I would
send her songs all the time. So now I'm like,
I guess I'm lucky she stuck around because I love
music and if something reminded me of her, i'd send
it to her. And she's not like a huge like
she doesn't like love lyrics.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
And music like I do. And so no one honest
said that.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
I was like, oh, I'm always do that that all
the time too. I still do that too.
Speaker 6 (30:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (30:51):
I think I'm it's just a personal thing. I'm thinking
way too much into it. And when guys are too
nice to me or do things that are a little
bit romantic, I freak out.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Well that's a whole other episode. We should get a
therapist in here.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
That's just walls being up.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
And if I too had these things, so I don't know, maybe.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Relatable though, I think I think a lot of people
deal with that. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:14):
Yeah, And you can establish these patterns. You do that
because you are scared of something totally.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
And I think those songs are just I'm thinking about
you right now. That's sweet.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
If he was texting me like thinking of you, would
that grow like would that give you the ache?
Speaker 8 (31:27):
Or I would appreciate that more than a song, because
then I could respond in many different ways rather than
just like what do I say to a song?
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Like it's what would you say that I'm thinking of you?
Me too? You too?
Speaker 4 (31:40):
Thanks?
Speaker 3 (31:41):
No, you die?
Speaker 6 (31:43):
I am not like a romantic emotion respond.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Oh I love that song, or oh I don't know
that one. I'll check it out. Yeah, thanks, that's that's
just one.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Back pocketing all these responds for thinking of me? Yeah yeah, okay,
that's so nice, feels so special.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
No, no, no, don't don't.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
What do you typically say to the song?
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Though?
Speaker 3 (32:06):
You would be my dream.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
I'd be chasing her so hard, but I'd like, she's
like not giving me anything.
Speaker 6 (32:20):
It's just so not my style.
Speaker 8 (32:22):
But I'm learning, and it's it's uncomfortable for me. But
those were the two things that stuck out for.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
They're pretty minors freaking out about that feet pending.
Speaker 6 (32:31):
I think this guy's great report back on the feet.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
But are there any guy's feet you're going to be into?
Like guys grosser, Some guys have pretty cool feet.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Ready to show.
Speaker 8 (32:49):
It's like I'd rather a guy walk around like with
socks and no shoes.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
That's your foot.
Speaker 8 (32:54):
Yeah, keep your socks on.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
Gross I'm saying it inaccurate.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
I'm saying Bobby's eat her a treat.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
You said on the last podcast, you were like, his
are nicer for men's feet.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
But by no means.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
Do I like love I mean, I don't love his
feet the way I love his hands, but I think
he has really great feet, Like I'm not grossed out
by them at all, actually like touch them.
Speaker 8 (33:16):
Does he have like hair on his toes though? Yeah,
and that's fine with you totally? Then great, Yeah that's perfect.
More hair, the better, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
I once asked a girl out in college because of
her hands. Well, I sat behind her in class and
her hands are so great. I asked her to date
and she did. She said yes, but then I called
and she didn't been. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
You guys though that like bite their nails. It's so
deep into the skin.
Speaker 7 (33:47):
It's like, just don't I tried biting my nails because
people have such a hard time quitting it and like
it must be good, right, let's be fine, right, do it.
Speaker 5 (33:55):
I could not get the hair for you.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
It's like, as soon as you break the habit, because
I used to buy my nails so bad, and as
soon as you break them, the thought of that I
even did that repulses me. That I put my hands
in my It is disgusting and sorry if you struggle
with that habit, but a.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Lot of people do. My daughter is struggling with it
and she gets sick a lot, and we think that's why.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
It's it makes sense. I have to start getting my
nails done.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
So I getting her nails done them.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Well, that's a very expensive.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Ye got the gross tasting stuff to put on there presses.
Speaker 4 (34:28):
You can put the press on ones that are pretty cheap.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
And thank you for sharing, Hannah.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
But I feel I can't wait for the update because
I yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Not just the feed, I want more information from the
next I just want to see how this goes. To
track this in real time, you.
Speaker 6 (34:45):
Can track it.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
Yeah, this is great.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
And I had told Tanya at the soccer game, I
was like, I want Hanna to talk about this and
Tanya goes, I'm very proud of the place I'm in
in my life, and I said, same, me too. But
a lot of people are still dating and having to
discover their x and turn offs and what they don't like,
and we're just.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
Lucky that we have found people that we like their
hands and feet.
Speaker 8 (35:07):
It's true, I would love to be in your guys'.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Position right now, but I'm just not is always great.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
It's true. It's it's fun to date too, but.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Because people in relationships always love living through you vicariously
when you're dating, and the people dating would love to
be in that committed relationship. Yeah, no one's ever happy.
We say that again, like the people in relationships like
us love hearing all the details of her dating life
go out with like Sistney loves used to love to
swipe on yours and all that stuff. But the people
(35:36):
who are dating would love to be in the committed relationship.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
Got it?
Speaker 6 (35:42):
Is that register?
Speaker 4 (35:44):
Yeah? I thought he meant that people who are incommon
relationships wish they were single.
Speaker 5 (35:50):
You know, someone news fine, you know it's just.
Speaker 8 (35:52):
Intriguing to hear about other people's experiences.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Right, Yeah, I was never like great at the first date,
because I'd be like, oh, like, I feel like I'm
on an interview asking the same questions, and then you
meet the right person you're like, oh, it wasn't that
was actually nice. Anyways, all right, we're going to take
a break and we'll be back with emails. All Right,
(36:38):
we are back and we have some emails.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Mark, all right, Becka, thank you very much. And by
the way, for this first email, it comes with a
trigger warning for anyone who's experienced disordered eating. Anonymous says,
I'm seeking advice and what to do about a friend
who appears to be too thin and unhealthy looking for
contact with thirty years old. We've known each other and
best friends in second grade. Well that's beautiful. By the way,
I love that stuff. We haven't been as close since college,
(37:03):
but will always be friends no matter what. She's been
on a health kick, and in my opinion, she's taken
it too far. If I never knew her and was
meeting her for the first time, I would think she's
ill because of how thin she is. She's married, I'm
not super close with her husband. I do know her
younger brothers or mom or dad, and they all think
she's taken it too far, and that she looks awful
because she looks so sickly thin. She's very close to
her family, she works in the medical profession. She's a PA,
(37:23):
so she's very smart and well educated. She'd become so
thin she doesn't get a period anymore. Do I say
something to my friend? What do I say? Do I
talk to her mom? Do I not say anything.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
I've never had to.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Go through this, but I do think this is a
very delicate topic and subject.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Have you ever experienced this.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
We had a friend in college. It was in a
different eating disorders. She was bullemic, and we sussess expected
it and we followed her and we saw her doing it.
So what we did is we got the friend that
was closest to her to go to her mom to
tell her to basically get her help. And that's kind
(38:12):
of how we went about it because it is very tricky.
You can't ambush them with like a bunch of people,
and so we felt it was best to go to
her mom to kind of handle the situation, and the
mom sent her to rehab, and that's how we dealt
with it. But it is really really tricky because you know,
(38:34):
eating disorders. You know, body issues are really really sensitive,
and I do feel like it could ruin a friendship
if that person's not accepting of it. So I don't know.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
I was maybe gonna say even suggests maybe anonymously posting
this in the Facebook group because I know there are
scrubbers who have experienced disordered eating themselves, and maybe they
have some insight on a way to approach it that's
like sensitive and helpful. Yeah, because it says her.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Family seems to know. She says she's very close, but
they think she also it's gone too far. So I
don't know that I have any like helpful advice that
I would feel comfortable giving.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Yeah, is it possible she is sick by the way
that she's not telling you because she's not comfortable through Maybe.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
I mean, I do think maybe there's a conversation of
like are you doing okay? And maybe it can open
up the conversation for her to say, like, I've been
struggling with this, But I think going into it saying
like you look too thin or worried about you might
be triggering and it might be too sensitive. But I
do think maybe there's just a heart to heart conversation
and maybe she will feel safe to open up. But
(39:48):
otherwise I think that it's just.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
A very delicate thing.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Like I said, I have an experience this, so I
don't feel like the this is a very serious topic.
I don't feel like, say, like comfortable giving sound advice on.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
So yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
I'm sorry that we're not much help, But I do
think that maybe talking to her mom if you feel
comfortable having that conversation, and also just giving her maybe
a conversation to feel safe enough to open up about
it and see if she does.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
Yeah, I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's really
really tough, and it does put it does put your
relationship in a weird position. But all you can do
is show up for your friend the best that you can.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
All Right, Next up, Anonymous. I feel like I've been
relating to Becca a lot lately when she talks about
Haley leaving. I've been with my boyfriend two years now.
He's the best guy I've ever dated. My ection and
I are very toxic. He was narcissistic, he always talked
to other people and made me the crazy one. My
boyfriend now is understanding. He's patient, he's kind. We see
each other one the two times a week because I
live we live forty minutes apart. He's my safe place.
(40:55):
I would hang out with him twenty four to seven
if I could. I have an anxious attachment style, and
he is a really attached so I worry about him
thinking I'm too much, even though he never makes me
feel that way. How do you deal with the anxiety
anxious attachment style or worrying about what they might think.
My boyfriend knows what goes on in my head, and
I go to therapy, but I'm naturally a warrior.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
I'm sorry you're going through this.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
It's a crazy mental spiral that you can lead yourself down.
But I think for me, I've always been more like
on the avoidant secure attached, so the anxious attachment came
unexpectedly to me. I think it's been like building probably
since like the pandemic, because we spent so much time together.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
But I kind of just.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Had a moment where I remembered that I have I've
always had such a healthy and like independent life outside
of my relationship with Haley, and I kind of just
like snapped into this headspace where I was like I
have the best friends, I have a really cool job.
(42:00):
I have things that I like to do outside of
and things that maybe Haley doesn't like to do, And
I just like really focused on those things because I
realized that as I was getting more anxious and spiraling,
I was just needing her to like validate and hear
me on the certain things that I was anxious about.
And as soon as she kind of just understood where
(42:21):
it was coming from, I felt seen and heard, and
then I was able to like go back to feeling
more in a secure headspace. So I think it's it's
it's like finding the things that you like to do
with or without him, the things that you obviously you
would like enjoy everything with him more, maybe because Tanya
and I always talk about that, how like we would
(42:43):
like to have our partners with us regardless of what
we're doing. But I think that if you can find
those things and like cultivate the other friendships and relationships
in your life, it really helps just to get in
a healthier headspace and knowing that, like without him and
this relationship, you're going to be okay, Because I think
(43:04):
that's where it gets dark, is like you go, what
will I do if I don't have this person anymore?
What will I do if I push them away? And
that's not what you want?
Speaker 4 (43:14):
Yeah, I think there's a lot of power and beauty
in a relationship where you can just be open and
honest about your attachment style. I think there's like a
lot of benefit coming from just expressing that to your
partner and saying that it's not necessarily their fault or
anything they're doing that, Like you just happen to have
this anxious attachment and just acknowledging it, because if you're
not speaking it, you're storing it, and that's creating more
(43:35):
anxiety in you. And so I think just like expressing
that and hopefully he receives it and doesn't make you
feel bad about it. But I just think being open
with him, I think will also give you a lot
of relief.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Is Robby secure? What'd you say is a secure attachment?
Speaker 4 (43:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (43:52):
So he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
I think it helps when your partner secure because they're
able to like calm you down, because if they're avoidant,
they'll just like almost shut down.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:02):
And like if I'm if I'm having anxiety about something,
he like knows that it's where it's coming from. He
doesn't get angry, he doesn't get upset, He just listens
to me. And so it's I think I think you'll
feel a lot better if you explain to him what's
going on.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
Good luck.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
It's it's a very It's not a great place to
be when you get into that that headspace, but you're
doing your best. We do have a Thursday episode coming.
Speaker 4 (44:32):
Up, Yes, we do it.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
Well, let us tell.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
You it's gonna be Roxy Diaz, who Kanye has described
as one of the best hyphe women out there. A
girl's a girl, she's like your number one fan.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
Huh. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:49):
I love her so much. I remember when I was
doing the E carpets. She was always so welcoming to
me and like made me always try to lift me
up and make me feel good, never made me feel bad.
And I just I've admired her from the very beginning
when I started working with her. And so she's gonna
come in and tell us about our story.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Yay.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
So we will be back on Thursday, and I hope
you have a great week, and we love you so much.
Speaker 4 (45:16):
Love you.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
Bye.
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. I feel like I
haven't seen well, I've seen you, but I feel like
we haven't done the podcast in a minute because we
kind of did.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
An early one last week. That's right, so it's been
a minute.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Yeah. I like doing a podcast on a different day,
though it was different energy.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Yeah, it's fun, good times. Great to see you.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Great to see you. Good I'm doing I'm tired, Okay,
I'm into well, no, I'm really into this new Jude show.
It's not new, it's old. It's called Yellow Jackets, but
it's new to me and I stayed up till eleven
thirty watching it last night.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
You're a bad, bad girl.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
No, it's like, yeah, on an early morning next day
for work, so it's really a problem.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
But there's there's not there's how many seasons, like two, three, two,
so you could be caught up pretty soon and get on.
Speaker 5 (00:57):
It's in its second season.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Okay currently, oh currently, Yeah, you know, it's so funny.
So we got showtime just to watch this show, Okay,
but we don't want to keep having showtime because I
don't want to watch anything else on show time. So
I put in my calendar for a month to like
be activated thing. But I don't know if we're going
to get it all in by that.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Time, like last night. That's going to help, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Yeah, I got to push through.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Yeah, these nights are going to be big for you
the eleven thirties.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Yeah, because I'm so annoyed, like I don't want one
more streaming service that I have to buy.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
But the nice thing about the streaming services is that
you can have it for a month and cancel it.
By the way, if somebody's really strapped for cash, on
these you can stop Netflix for a month and then
get it again in a month. You know you can
do that.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
You can just going.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
I was going to ask you. I was trying to
find it and I couldn't figure out what on showtime?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
You have to download another app on your TV?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
My do I have energy? I don't know? And to
like take the risk. What if I don't like the show,
you will You said that about a lot of shows
that I know.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
It's so good.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
It's a little darker than I usually like I am
in a.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Darker face because also breaking bad very Wow.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Yeah, I don't watched it. Don't tell me.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Are you not caught up?
Speaker 4 (02:08):
No?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Okay, it's gotten starting with episode four, which is mind blowing.
It's incredible.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Anyway, so great Yellow Jackets. I watched the pilot. It's
really good.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
It's really good.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
All right, Well, I got some you got some backup
in here, although they also liked Ted Lasso and Dreary Duty.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
So you know, you're in the minority, not just in
this room.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
But the world.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
But I'm just saying, like I it's hard to say, like, oh,
Tanya loves it, so I'm gonna love it. You know,
I don't, unfortunately, feel the trust in that. That's okay,
it's more on me though it's not your fault.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
So I went to last time we talked.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I was gonna I was like going to surprise Haley
for in Denver, and she was like, I knew it
when she saw because I I snuck onto the bus
to surprise her.
Speaker 6 (02:54):
And then I had.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Brought her friend Monica and she was in the room
and so I go on the bus and he was
like I knew it, and I'm like, no, you did not,
because I made up this whole elaborate thing that I
had to go to San Diego for work and it
was awkward.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
That's probably why she knew it.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
No, she was I told her I had to go
with this girl that I didn't know very well and
we had to share a room because I was trying
to figure out how I could like be in the
hotel without being in the room, so she didn't see Monica,
and so I was like, I'm staying with this girl
I don't know, Like it's kind of awkward, and so
I'm just kind of to like come out in the
hallway and talk to you. And she's like, I can't
believe they made you stay like with someone that you
don't know, Like that's so uncomfortable. So like she was
(03:31):
totally one thousand percent bought my scheme.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
I don't know if she did, though she did.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
She admitted it. She was like I had lost hope
when you So then how did she know?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I think she just always had a feeling maybe I
show up, or like held on hope.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
That I show up, or maybe she you were gonna
show up but not exactly when you did.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
No, I think she just had like a feeling because
we had talked about like, oh, we'll see each other.
That'll be like around the two week mark, so we'll
see each other around then and so anyways, but she
didn't know that Monica was there, so that got the tears.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
That was the surprise.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah, so it wasn't a complete fail on the surprise aspect.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
But she was so happy.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
She was so happy. But she spends really sick.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
She's had like a sinus infection that like will not
go away, so she has not been able to catch
up on like sleep because you sleeping on the bus.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
And yeah, I don't know how. I don't know how
people do this lifestyle, right, it's.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Terrible, Like think about let's just say the Jonas brothers.
They're gone because they're going back out on tour, did they?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
But they probably all have their own bus like they
probable the bus.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
The bus is a bus is a bus.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, but I think when you have your whole bus
to yourself, it's a little more comfortable than sharing it
with like however many sixteen people or whatever.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
I don't know about that. Yeah, either way, it's not
sixteen people.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I think there's like seven or something. A bus there's
sixteen people, not two buses.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
No, how do you fit that many beds in there?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
They're just two three toward each other.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I've never seen a bus that big.
Speaker 6 (05:02):
Well it's a.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Double decker, but they're all the buses are on the
same level. Anyways, it's exhausting. I don't know how she
does it. And it was great to see her. And
then she's in La tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
So just a little longer.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
She on tour until like June or something June at
the beginning of June, forgot what month.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
We were like into May, but June is in the
getting of June.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah, that's like so two three weeks. Yeah, she has
so you're in the home stretch. Yeah, and I really
felt great, Like I'm a little concerned about that little
dark spell I had.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Why because she came in like a wrecking ball, and
she stirred some things up, and then she went away,
and so now I'm like, will it come back unexpectedly
or am I good? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Well what triggered it was the fact that she was away,
so you might be triggered for a while.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Right, and being in Europe thing, the time zone thing
really shook me up.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
That was really bad. Don't recommend that.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, Hannah and I were actually talking about it because
we we went to we had a date night on
a Friday night. It was so fun and we were
talking about because your ex you were long distance but
same time zone, and that was still hard.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:22):
I couldn't do it.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Yeah, it's very it's very weird, like it messes.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
It messed with my head in a way that I
wasn't expecting it to.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
So it happens.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I can't believe you did long distance with your first
like your long term relation.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Yeah, but that was just San Diego, San Diego, La.
So it's like long distance because we're not in the
same city. We couldn't see each other in Arizona. He
ended up moving to Arizona. Yeah, but like the first
two years was La to San Diego.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Still, So, y'all never actually lived in the same city.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Never. No, that's shocking, Mom, what's clinging?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
How do I.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
She said it first?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Yeah, it's true though, Like I could not imagine, like
if Robbie lived in San Diego, that would be horrendous
for me at this point in my life. But I
think at the point of my life when I was
dating my ex. I was started out working for the
morning show, and like I was there twelve hours a day,
so it almost was better because I wasn't able to
(07:25):
commit my time to anything else but work. So it
was like I worked Monday through Friday and then I
would leave first thing after I finished working, and I
had all weekend with him.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
That I mean, when you're busy, when you have stuff
going on, Yeah, it makes a very big difference.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Yeah. I think that's the only reason why it was
like fine for me.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Yeah, you're like, I don't even have the capacity, Yes,
the girlfriend during the week, I'm correct, all right, well
that makes more sense. But now in these times of
your life. No, Like I probably was like, I have
to move to London for a year, what would you do?
Speaker 4 (07:58):
See if I could do the show out in London? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Wow, she went straight to.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Yeah, I don't know what I mean. If it was
for a year, I think I would be able to, Like,
if there was like a start in an end time,
I think I'd be okay with it. Okay, But if
it was like in perpetuity, not knowing when he'd be back,
that would be a major problem.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Great like big word throwing right there.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Which one.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Perpetuity?
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Perpetunity often? Oh yeah, word of the day. Yeah, no, perpetuity.
I don't know why, but I feel like I use
it often.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Great.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Yeah, proud of you.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Thank you because you did do a comparison.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Oh, because I post about the Denny Henry thing and
he said it's like comparing it.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Was actually perfect.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Oh what was it again?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Comparing a watermelon? Comparing Henry to Denny as I comparing
a watermelon to a penny.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, can you explain that, maybe for.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Because it's not even They're not even the same category.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Henry and Jeff saying that, so a watermelon Jeff and
the penny Scott fully agree with that.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Okay, so so this is what started I posted.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I said, I have an unpopular opinion Henry's death. I've
been watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy solid.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
By the way, just newsflash for those of you who.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Are not watching watching Camilla next week, we do.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yeah right, yeah, I'm caught up. Yeah it's really good.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Okay, I'll gently take your work from that.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
But anyways, I posted that like, Henry's death affected me
way more than Denny, Like I have never Denny.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Was like, oh, that's sad. Like I felt bad, but
like that.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Was kind of it because it didn't it wasn't realistic
in the sense that like they didn't know each other
outside of of that situation. It just felt very like
over dramaticized to me. And then I felt like Henry,
we got to know him, he and Teddy fell in love.
We got to like watch her fall in love with
him through their situation. And then it happened unexpectedly. And
(10:02):
remember when Christina was operating on him but she didn't
know it was him.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
He died, and then that was messed up. That was
some dark stuff shot it did.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Yeah, that was messed up.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
That was some sinister writing.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah, watch Yellow Jackets, you'll get some dark stuff there too.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Some shocked that you're into.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
That, me too, but I am so Yeah, I got
And a lot of people said they agreed with me.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
They're like telling me, is not gonna like this?
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Well, and I, in fact I cantlope no, no. See,
that's the thing, that's why I didn't choose another fruit
exactly that they're not.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Even people like people like candlopes, some people like water.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
They're not even in the same category of fruit. That's
why I went penny and penny.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
But whuldn't you say, like some people think like the
value of a penny is worth more than a piece
of currency.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
I'd say less people think that.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Okay, maybe that's the next one.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Juicy watermelon, nothing better on a summer day.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah, you wouldn't trade a watermelon for a penny.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
No, I don't think I would never trade.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You're going through in your life. We can't speak for
everyone in this.
Speaker 7 (11:07):
A mouthful of pennies just hits the spot.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
About Okay, So this week I just want to defend
Grace for a second. Speaking of Camilla, I love what
she's got going on right now. There's a really hot
dude who's laid up there week after week, Sam Sutton.
Sam Sutton is the patient, he broke ninety three bones,
and he's very into Joe Joe. Sorry, I am met
(11:32):
with character names. And so Link's kind of be like, whoa, whoa,
what's going on here? And I like how this is divine?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Are they together Joe and Link?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Not really, they're living together, but they're not an established relationships.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
There's all this there was a whole thing where he.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Was in love with their feelings on both sides, and
she kind of was in and then he was like
not responding that he was in, and she wasn't responding.
And now he's going to be all in because she's
like in the attention she's getting from Sam. It's very good.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
It's so annoying that it takes somebody else looking at
your girl to like make you want to go for
your girl.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
And and I don't know their names, I'm sorry, the
new people, the young shepherd, yes, right, and you know
he's still into I don't know their names. The one
who's getting married, Yes, it's doctor Griffin.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Oh oh, who's she married?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
She's married her ex boyfriend. You haven't watched in months?
Speaker 3 (12:20):
No, have it? Yeah? Oh oh.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
So they're trying to make this like April Jackson. They're
trying to make I don't know, like Denny and Izzy.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I don't know, but I'm really enjoying it. You guys
are carrying a water melody Penny.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
We'll ask Camilla what she thinks. Was she more devastated
for Denny's death or Henry's.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I think she's going to give the popular answer, which
is Denny, even though if you really go deeper, it's
not true.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
We'll just have to wait and see, won't we won't we?
Speaker 6 (12:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Week away?
Speaker 3 (12:53):
What else have you been up to you? Okay? So
I just never want to know.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I got back into La from Denver, and my spidy
senses were like, mm is Tanya in a good place
or a bad place? Something was tingling and within me
and I was like, couldn't figure it out. I'm like
texting her. She is like ghosting me. I got ghosted
so many times by Tanya this past week that all
I feel well, I mean, it doesn't feel great, but
(13:19):
like I moved on.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
You know, I didn't attack you. I just was like, hey,
everything good. Sometimes you need to be attacked.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
You wanted to be attacked sometimes. Yeah, I do like
a little extra attention, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Oh well, I thought me texting and following up was
like enough attention.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
So do you want to explain yourself? Like what was going?
Were you just so busy to be honest?
Speaker 4 (13:41):
To be totally honest? Last week, whenever I do things
on Sundays, we went to American Idol last Sunday, last
last Sunday. Whenever I do something on a Sunday, it
really sets my week off too into a like a
tailspin because I feel like I don't really like on Sundays,
I need to rest. It's like, really my only rest day,
(14:01):
and I don't rest. I feel like I've like lost
myself in this whirlwind of the week. It's so weird. Okay,
that little tiny like thing. But anyways, so I was
very busy on Sunday, and then we had a very
wild Monday at work. We had ed Shecheron in here.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Oh love him, love him, love him. I've loved him forever,
but I love him more than ever.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Nods they're not into him, and I'm really trying to
turn that on that because he's the best.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
You know what I don't like.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
The thing that's so cool about him is he's not
trying to be anything but himself, do you know what
I mean? Like he's not trying to be this pop star.
He's not like trying to stay cool or relevant. He's
just being who he is and just take it, take
it for take it or leave it basically. And I
love that attitude so much because he's not like trying.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
He just does what he loves and he's like if
people love it, great, and if they don't, I'm going
to find a way to keep doing it, because that's
all I want to do.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Yeah, And he is the cutest wife, and he's so cool.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
She's so cool, and he's so humble, like he shakes
everyone's hand, he looks everybody in the eye. He's just
a great human. And sometimes I sit there and I
really think about the numbers when he's touring stadiums, right,
I mean, think about the ticket and what his overhead is.
He just wears his normal clothes and he's got a
little pedal on the no lasers, no dancers, no costumes. No,
(15:26):
I mean he has like the big screens. He's probably
making so much money.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
His last tour is like one of the highest grossing
toys of all time, The Divide.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Yeah, because he has no overhead. Think about it, Like,
think about if you look at Taylor show, She's got
all those dancers, all those costumes, all those effects, all
that like pyro and smoke and machines and all that.
That all costs so much money. Yeah, he has none
of that.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
You walk away from a tailor show and you're like,
I'll never ever ever forget this.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I'm not saying I'm not saying it's not worth it.
I think I obviously I love Taylor's.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Anything more for what he's selling or just.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Something about that aspect is just it really like throws me.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Yeah, yeah, he's great. I love him.
Speaker 6 (16:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
So that was like a lot. And then I just
feel like I've had something, I had something on top
of work every single day and.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
It's just yeah, yeah, So I blame char And for
like your ghosting.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Just blame my time, my Hashi motos.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Oh wow, we took a turn there. Great.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
But then I got to see what the soccer game
went to, the Angel City game. Yes, was that your
first one.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
First soccer game ever?
Speaker 6 (16:42):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
What do you think?
Speaker 4 (16:44):
If I'm being honest, I was not super paying attention
to the game, okay, but I thought it was fun. Yeah,
I'm starting to like sporting events. I think it's like
a cute hang And they had these chimoy dipped uh
he chimoy dipped gummy bears and peat rings that were divine.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
Delicious, delicious. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
I pushed back on my hashymotives test two days so
that I could get that out of my system because
I was like, this feels like I should not be
eating this before I retest all my stuff.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
This was Saturday.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
This was Saturday. I was supposed to retest today Washington, Washington.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I'm seeing if.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
No, they were in white uniforms.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Who won.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Washington?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Very good, they're undefeated Washington.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Yeah, good job.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Washington.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
I felt like Robbie had a great time.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
He was really into the just he loves questions and
finding out what everything that's going on in the No.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Yeah, I was really surprised when I when you sent
me the text you want to go to this Angel
City soccer and asked him. He was like, yeah, that's
so cool, and I was like, wow, who is such
a soccer fan.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
He's just a fan.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
He's just happy to be. He's just happy to live, laugh,
love and watch sports.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
That's very true. That's very true. But you're like a
regular now.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Yeah, I just like am at the games and just
go you.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
Know, yeah, hot dogs, nacho Yeah, I just know the.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Drill when the nacho bar comes out, you know, that's
the second half.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Like that's all good, good stuff.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
It is cute, though I do want to make it
kind of like a thing.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
It's very it's so fun. It's really cool to see
like a a like special, especially like a women's sports team.
Being like celebrated and supported.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Yeah, so Hannah and I went to Okay. So Thursday night,
I got this paint with diamonds craft and it's just
like it's like coated and then they send you the
colors and you just match the colors and you just
stick them on.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
You made Haley, it was like a watercolor thing.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
That was a painting thing that was so hard.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
You did, say, paint with diamonds, diamond paint?
Speaker 6 (18:56):
That is it called diamond painted?
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Yeah, or like I don't know, are paint. Yeah. Anyways,
you're like sticking the little diamonds on.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
It's a very mindless, just like relaxing craft, you.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Know, ires of it. I see what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Yeah, it's really cool.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Anyways, I just had a playlist going and the song
comes on and I just kept hitting repeat, repeat, repeat,
and finally I look at it and it's Dermick Kennedy,
which I've heard his name, but I've never like known
his music or anything. And so I posted and I
posted on my Instagram like I just heard the song
for the first time. I'm obsessed, and everyone was like,
he's amazing, and then people said he's gonna be in
(19:31):
La tomorrow, Like, you have to go to his show.
He's incredible live and normally I'm not one to go
to a show if I don't like.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Know a lot of the music.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
Yeah, but I was like why not?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
So I text Hana because we were dming about him,
and I'm like, what are you doing tonight?
Speaker 3 (19:46):
And she was like nothing.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
So we went and had a cute dinner and drinks
and then we went to the show and it was.
Speaker 8 (19:55):
It was amenable. It was like one of the best
concerts I've ever been to.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
It was this guy, I sent you this s Did
you listen? No?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
I know you did it because you would have said something, yeah,
this is this is where we're at in our friendship
right now. We're in like a little bit of like
a testy tension area, which is fine, you go through it.
But but anyways, it was at the YouTube Theater, which
is by So five. It was my first time.
Speaker 6 (20:20):
My first time too. It was amazing. It was amazing
a YouTube theater. One night.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful, good clean and new so clean.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
A lot of parking around there.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Great park so then yeah, the parking we pull up
and we're like, hey, there's a guy standing We're like,
where's the closest parking to the theater and he's like, well,
right there, but that's VIP. I had to like pre
purchase it. And we're like can we can we purchase it?
And he's like, here's what I'll do. He was like,
I'm actually I'm scanning your ticket, but if you ven
(20:50):
me fifty dollars.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Really, we were like, soul, We're like, you got it.
We went parked right in front of the theater. It's amazing.
Speaker 6 (20:58):
It was luxury.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Tried to do that at the Angel City game and
did not work for me. Oh yeah, but she was no,
we didn't. We tried to buy that, but she was
in She was in a booth with like another worker,
So I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Maybe that was this guy was secluded. He may not
have been a parking attendant.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
We don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
But we had great parking.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
But one thing that Hannah and I talked about is
that she went on a recent date last weekend and
I want to talk about it, but we're going to
take a break first.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
All right, we are back.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
So Hannah went on a date, and this was your
first date since.
Speaker 8 (22:01):
I broke up with my ex boyfriend, which was when
about a year ago. So okay, I've been single like
officially for a year and we dated for about four
and a half years.
Speaker 6 (22:12):
Okay, so this was a big deal.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
And this was, like you were saying, one of your
just first like actual like a date because you and
your ex men in college.
Speaker 8 (22:19):
Yeah, one of my first first dates because I met
my ex in college. And you know, when you're in college,
you don't actually go on real dates. You just like
come out at the frat parties. And we got to
know each other drunk. It wasn't anything romantic at all.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
It was college romance. Yeah, it was college at its
finest direct.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Well before you went on this, So y'all, you and
this guy met up at State. Y'all saw each other
at stage coach, and you knew each other from like
from college. You went from college together, but had never
been out before.
Speaker 6 (22:48):
No, never.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
So we did the podcast we recorded before I went
to Denver on Thursday, and the date was happening on Saturday.
Speaker 6 (22:55):
Is that right? Saturday?
Speaker 3 (22:56):
So Hannah was very nervous during that.
Speaker 6 (23:00):
Do you remember this?
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Yeah, but we made her nervous, you guys. Yeah, she
was totally fine until we talked about it.
Speaker 8 (23:06):
Why do we say that made you nervous because we
were talking about all the alone time in the car
and what we were going to talk about, and if
I wanted to escape him, I couldn't.
Speaker 6 (23:15):
I started spiraling.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
So hard after telling you guys, Okay, Well, and I
don't know if Tanya wants to take this defense, but
my defense. My thought is like, if I'm going on
a first date and I'm nervous, I don't know that
I'm gonna have a whole twenty four hours with that person.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
I kept going back to the Chicago guy that I
dated that came in town to visit me, and I
wanted to like cry after an hour.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
That was doctor screen time for those who have kept up.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
Yeah, so that was my only knee jerk. Is like
when somebody's traveling to you.
Speaker 8 (23:45):
It definitely felt like a very intense first date. Yeah,
it wasn't just like dinner. It was a whole It
was a whole thing. But it ended up being great.
Speaker 6 (23:53):
It ended up being really fun.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
What did y'all do?
Speaker 8 (23:56):
We went to the Warriors and Lakers game, so we
had an activity to do, which is good.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (24:01):
Long, Yeah, and I'm a giant Warriors fan fortune.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
I know, I know, well you guys they also be
easy yeah, so easy.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
No, but it was it was really fun.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
Oh they're out now, Yeah they lost because they lost
the Lakers. They're out completely. Yep, that's very devastate.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
But y'all got to go see them.
Speaker 6 (24:22):
We got to go see them.
Speaker 8 (24:24):
It was his first time seeing Lebron James in person,
so it was really funny. He was like all tickled
and really excited. Yeah, but I told him he had
to be a Warriors fan, and every time that the
Lakers like made a basket, he would get really excited
and then he'd be like, oh, never mind, like that
was actually bad. It was funny, endearing yeah, ok, yes,
cut Yeah, Like it was charming to see him like
(24:46):
geek out over athletes. Yeah, definitely, so was the conversation
did a flow? Conversations flowed. It was a good first date.
I mean, I have nothing to compare it to, but
I thought it was pretty good.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Like you'd see him again, yeah, I would, Okay, were
there any X that happened?
Speaker 6 (25:05):
We talked about this at dinner.
Speaker 8 (25:07):
I I just don't know if I'd actually ever find
someone that I could both because I get the ick
so easily. And the biggest thing for me, and I
know that you guys talk about this a lot. His
hands and feet, it's like the biggest thing. He didn't
wear flip flops, thank god, because then I would have
told him to just go home. Like there's no way
I would have like hung out with him if he
(25:29):
showed up in flip flops. But his hands aren't the best,
and it's it's kind of sh They're just not as
manly as I would like. And the fingernails are a
little too short.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
Okay, there's too much skin of the nail.
Speaker 6 (25:49):
He doesn't bite them. I just don't think they grow.
And it's no they grow.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
He bites them.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
They bite that to person, he may just have short bite,
and that's a whole other thing.
Speaker 5 (26:02):
I'm like so much of my hands.
Speaker 8 (26:05):
But we were talking about this at dinner, Like it's
such a fine line. Your nails can't be too short,
but they also can't be too long. If there's any
white showing on the nails, I'm freaked out.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, can you evaluate my hands?
Speaker 6 (26:17):
No, this is.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
A live showing.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Take me out of this. Yeah, I'm just looking at
your hands. Guy, I'm a.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
Guy's doing that. I'm gonna get a picture of a
good parent.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Hand and these are my hands, and that's gonna.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Be nobody knows.
Speaker 8 (26:33):
I think Mark, you have really good hands for a guy.
They're manly and muscular.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
I haven't had a lot of hard work in my life, labor,
I don't.
Speaker 8 (26:43):
Okay, though, No, those are good hands. Okay, I'm nervous
to see Easton's.
Speaker 5 (26:46):
For delicates over here, all.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Right, staring, she's staring.
Speaker 8 (26:57):
They're not as good as Marks, but they're not horrible.
Speaker 6 (27:01):
They just look a bit too like.
Speaker 8 (27:02):
They're very manicured and nice.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
You'd like that. Let me see that makes you're not muscly.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
No, just takes some squeezing of like.
Speaker 5 (27:17):
Block or anything.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
No, I let me see your's mark.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
All right, let me get out. I got out of
my chair.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
Okay, I have a picture, but it's not the best angle.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
But I'm just gonna is this if you know who? Yeah,
let's see.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
I think you both have nice hands. Like I wouldn't
be like I wouldn't list y'all is like a problem.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
They're not the best at all angle.
Speaker 6 (27:39):
They're they're good hands.
Speaker 8 (27:40):
The only thing and this is personal, it's a little hairy.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Oh yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Yeah, okay, Donny likes a lot of hair, got it.
Speaker 6 (27:48):
I like zero hair.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
So neither mind nor reasons would be deal breakers for
you on a date if our hands were attention.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
I don't actually think hers is a deal deal breaker.
Speaker 6 (27:57):
It's just something.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
It is something.
Speaker 8 (27:59):
You never look at his hands.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Did you see his feet?
Speaker 2 (28:03):
No?
Speaker 8 (28:04):
And I'm scared to see his feet. And he's like
very athletic and goes on a lot of runs, and.
Speaker 6 (28:09):
I'm just worried about.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Yeah, there be some twisted, contorted situations.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
With the tiny little toenail and the big like what.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Yeah like or the skin like fully overlapped.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
His fingernails are too short, like.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
A Chris toenail.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
When you said that, I almost blocked.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I don't think I know that.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
His Instagram he posted on the met Galley. He was like,
my met Gala looks like you saw this?
Speaker 8 (28:38):
Yeah, you know it feels illegal.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
There was another agch that we talked about.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
The other one. I feel like bad saying this.
Speaker 8 (28:49):
I don't know why, but he keeps sending me my
god like songs.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
What's wrong with that?
Speaker 6 (28:58):
It's just like, what do I say to that? And
why are you sending me that.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
They're romantic?
Speaker 8 (29:05):
Like some of them are like some of them are
songs that we like heard of Stagecoach or whatever, or
some are.
Speaker 6 (29:10):
Just random songs.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
But what are the lyrics?
Speaker 8 (29:13):
The lyrics, I mean, they're all country songs, so they're.
Speaker 4 (29:16):
Like, they're probably like cute lyrics, but.
Speaker 6 (29:18):
Don't send it to me.
Speaker 5 (29:19):
He's just sending Spotify links and what he said.
Speaker 8 (29:21):
Luckily it's Apple Music, which is a green flag because
I use Apple Music.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
Oh wow, yeah, name one song?
Speaker 8 (29:30):
Oh goodness, something by Tyler Chiulders.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Oh, he's pretty emotional and romantic.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
I feel No, it wasn't that.
Speaker 8 (29:39):
It was Shake the Frost, which which is kind of
my gosh. Now I'm now I'm creeped out thinking about
him sending me songs.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
What's not Shape the Frost?
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Shake?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
What's his motivation? Is totallylist?
Speaker 8 (29:58):
Yeah, it's probably I think I'm just reading too much
into probably, but he's sending too many Okay, no like daily,
no contact, No, not daily, And it hasn't he hasn't
done it in.
Speaker 6 (30:10):
A couple of days, which is good. But I just
don't know how to respond to it.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
And you don't think the lyrics are apropos, like, for example,
with shake the Frost, he's not saying to you, you
remind me of a Sunday back home in old Kentucky
with the church choirs. Just belt into the pineys.
Speaker 6 (30:28):
No, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Okay, So I when I first met Haley, I would
send her songs all the time. So now I'm like,
I guess I'm lucky she stuck around because I love
music and if something reminded me of her, i'd send
it to her. And she's not like a huge like
she doesn't like love lyrics.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
And music like I do. And so no one honest
said that.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
I was like, oh, I'm always do that that all
the time too. I still do that too.
Speaker 6 (30:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (30:51):
I think I'm it's just a personal thing. I'm thinking
way too much into it. And when guys are too
nice to me or do things that are a little
bit romantic, I freak out.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Well that's a whole other episode. We should get a
therapist in here.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
That's just walls being up.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
And if I too had these things, so I don't know, maybe.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Relatable though, I think I think a lot of people
deal with that. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:14):
Yeah, And you can establish these patterns. You do that
because you are scared of something totally.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
And I think those songs are just I'm thinking about
you right now. That's sweet.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
If he was texting me like thinking of you, would
that grow like would that give you the ache?
Speaker 8 (31:27):
Or I would appreciate that more than a song, because
then I could respond in many different ways rather than
just like what do I say to a song?
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Like it's what would you say that I'm thinking of you?
Me too? You too?
Speaker 4 (31:40):
Thanks?
Speaker 3 (31:41):
No, you die?
Speaker 6 (31:43):
I am not like a romantic emotion respond.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Oh I love that song, or oh I don't know
that one. I'll check it out. Yeah, thanks, that's that's
just one.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Back pocketing all these responds for thinking of me? Yeah yeah, okay,
that's so nice, feels so special.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
No, no, no, don't don't.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
What do you typically say to the song?
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Though?
Speaker 3 (32:06):
You would be my dream.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
I'd be chasing her so hard, but I'd like, she's
like not giving me anything.
Speaker 6 (32:20):
It's just so not my style.
Speaker 8 (32:22):
But I'm learning, and it's it's uncomfortable for me. But
those were the two things that stuck out for.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
They're pretty minors freaking out about that feet pending.
Speaker 6 (32:31):
I think this guy's great report back on the feet.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
But are there any guy's feet you're going to be into?
Like guys grosser, Some guys have pretty cool feet.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Ready to show.
Speaker 8 (32:49):
It's like I'd rather a guy walk around like with
socks and no shoes.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
That's your foot.
Speaker 8 (32:54):
Yeah, keep your socks on.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
Gross I'm saying it inaccurate.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
I'm saying Bobby's eat her a treat.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
You said on the last podcast, you were like, his
are nicer for men's feet.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
But by no means.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
Do I like love I mean, I don't love his
feet the way I love his hands, but I think
he has really great feet, Like I'm not grossed out
by them at all, actually like touch them.
Speaker 8 (33:16):
Does he have like hair on his toes though? Yeah,
and that's fine with you totally? Then great, Yeah that's perfect.
More hair, the better, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
I once asked a girl out in college because of
her hands. Well, I sat behind her in class and
her hands are so great. I asked her to date
and she did. She said yes, but then I called
and she didn't been. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
You guys though that like bite their nails. It's so
deep into the skin.
Speaker 7 (33:47):
It's like, just don't I tried biting my nails because
people have such a hard time quitting it and like
it must be good, right, let's be fine, right, do it.
Speaker 5 (33:55):
I could not get the hair for you.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
It's like, as soon as you break the habit, because
I used to buy my nails so bad, and as
soon as you break them, the thought of that I
even did that repulses me. That I put my hands
in my It is disgusting and sorry if you struggle
with that habit, but a.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Lot of people do. My daughter is struggling with it
and she gets sick a lot, and we think that's why.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
It's it makes sense. I have to start getting my
nails done.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
So I getting her nails done them.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Well, that's a very expensive.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Ye got the gross tasting stuff to put on there presses.
Speaker 4 (34:28):
You can put the press on ones that are pretty cheap.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
And thank you for sharing, Hannah.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
But I feel I can't wait for the update because
I yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Not just the feed, I want more information from the
next I just want to see how this goes. To
track this in real time, you.
Speaker 6 (34:45):
Can track it.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
Yeah, this is great.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
And I had told Tanya at the soccer game, I
was like, I want Hanna to talk about this and
Tanya goes, I'm very proud of the place I'm in
in my life, and I said, same, me too. But
a lot of people are still dating and having to
discover their x and turn offs and what they don't like,
and we're just.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
Lucky that we have found people that we like their
hands and feet.
Speaker 8 (35:07):
It's true, I would love to be in your guys'.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Position right now, but I'm just not is always great.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
It's true. It's it's fun to date too, but.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Because people in relationships always love living through you vicariously
when you're dating, and the people dating would love to
be in that committed relationship. Yeah, no one's ever happy.
We say that again, like the people in relationships like
us love hearing all the details of her dating life
go out with like Sistney loves used to love to
swipe on yours and all that stuff. But the people
(35:36):
who are dating would love to be in the committed relationship.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
Got it?
Speaker 6 (35:42):
Is that register?
Speaker 4 (35:44):
Yeah? I thought he meant that people who are incommon
relationships wish they were single.
Speaker 5 (35:50):
You know, someone news fine, you know it's just.
Speaker 8 (35:52):
Intriguing to hear about other people's experiences.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Right, Yeah, I was never like great at the first date,
because I'd be like, oh, like, I feel like I'm
on an interview asking the same questions, and then you
meet the right person you're like, oh, it wasn't that
was actually nice. Anyways, all right, we're going to take
a break and we'll be back with emails. All Right,
(36:38):
we are back and we have some emails.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Mark, all right, Becka, thank you very much. And by
the way, for this first email, it comes with a
trigger warning for anyone who's experienced disordered eating. Anonymous says,
I'm seeking advice and what to do about a friend
who appears to be too thin and unhealthy looking for
contact with thirty years old. We've known each other and
best friends in second grade. Well that's beautiful. By the way,
I love that stuff. We haven't been as close since college,
(37:03):
but will always be friends no matter what. She's been
on a health kick, and in my opinion, she's taken
it too far. If I never knew her and was
meeting her for the first time, I would think she's
ill because of how thin she is. She's married, I'm
not super close with her husband. I do know her
younger brothers or mom or dad, and they all think
she's taken it too far, and that she looks awful
because she looks so sickly thin. She's very close to
her family, she works in the medical profession. She's a PA,
(37:23):
so she's very smart and well educated. She'd become so
thin she doesn't get a period anymore. Do I say
something to my friend? What do I say? Do I
talk to her mom? Do I not say anything.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
I've never had to.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Go through this, but I do think this is a
very delicate topic and subject.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Have you ever experienced this.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
We had a friend in college. It was in a
different eating disorders. She was bullemic, and we sussess expected
it and we followed her and we saw her doing it.
So what we did is we got the friend that
was closest to her to go to her mom to
tell her to basically get her help. And that's kind
(38:12):
of how we went about it because it is very tricky.
You can't ambush them with like a bunch of people,
and so we felt it was best to go to
her mom to kind of handle the situation, and the
mom sent her to rehab, and that's how we dealt
with it. But it is really really tricky because you know,
(38:34):
eating disorders. You know, body issues are really really sensitive,
and I do feel like it could ruin a friendship
if that person's not accepting of it. So I don't know.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
I was maybe gonna say even suggests maybe anonymously posting
this in the Facebook group because I know there are
scrubbers who have experienced disordered eating themselves, and maybe they
have some insight on a way to approach it that's
like sensitive and helpful. Yeah, because it says her.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Family seems to know. She says she's very close, but
they think she also it's gone too far. So I
don't know that I have any like helpful advice that
I would feel comfortable giving.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Yeah, is it possible she is sick by the way
that she's not telling you because she's not comfortable through Maybe.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
I mean, I do think maybe there's a conversation of
like are you doing okay? And maybe it can open
up the conversation for her to say, like, I've been
struggling with this, But I think going into it saying
like you look too thin or worried about you might
be triggering and it might be too sensitive. But I
do think maybe there's just a heart to heart conversation
and maybe she will feel safe to open up. But
(39:48):
otherwise I think that it's just.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
A very delicate thing.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Like I said, I have an experience this, so I
don't feel like the this is a very serious topic.
I don't feel like, say, like comfortable giving sound advice on.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
So yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
I'm sorry that we're not much help, But I do
think that maybe talking to her mom if you feel
comfortable having that conversation, and also just giving her maybe
a conversation to feel safe enough to open up about
it and see if she does.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
Yeah, I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's really
really tough, and it does put it does put your
relationship in a weird position. But all you can do
is show up for your friend the best that you can.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
All Right, Next up, Anonymous. I feel like I've been
relating to Becca a lot lately when she talks about
Haley leaving. I've been with my boyfriend two years now.
He's the best guy I've ever dated. My ection and
I are very toxic. He was narcissistic, he always talked
to other people and made me the crazy one. My
boyfriend now is understanding. He's patient, he's kind. We see
each other one the two times a week because I
live we live forty minutes apart. He's my safe place.
(40:55):
I would hang out with him twenty four to seven
if I could. I have an anxious attachment style, and
he is a really attached so I worry about him
thinking I'm too much, even though he never makes me
feel that way. How do you deal with the anxiety
anxious attachment style or worrying about what they might think.
My boyfriend knows what goes on in my head, and
I go to therapy, but I'm naturally a warrior.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
I'm sorry you're going through this.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
It's a crazy mental spiral that you can lead yourself down.
But I think for me, I've always been more like
on the avoidant secure attached, so the anxious attachment came
unexpectedly to me. I think it's been like building probably
since like the pandemic, because we spent so much time together.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
But I kind of just.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Had a moment where I remembered that I have I've
always had such a healthy and like independent life outside
of my relationship with Haley, and I kind of just
like snapped into this headspace where I was like I
have the best friends, I have a really cool job.
(42:00):
I have things that I like to do outside of
and things that maybe Haley doesn't like to do, And
I just like really focused on those things because I
realized that as I was getting more anxious and spiraling,
I was just needing her to like validate and hear
me on the certain things that I was anxious about.
And as soon as she kind of just understood where
(42:21):
it was coming from, I felt seen and heard, and
then I was able to like go back to feeling
more in a secure headspace. So I think it's it's
it's like finding the things that you like to do
with or without him, the things that you obviously you
would like enjoy everything with him more, maybe because Tanya
and I always talk about that, how like we would
(42:43):
like to have our partners with us regardless of what
we're doing. But I think that if you can find
those things and like cultivate the other friendships and relationships
in your life, it really helps just to get in
a healthier headspace and knowing that, like without him and
this relationship, you're going to be okay, Because I think
(43:04):
that's where it gets dark, is like you go, what
will I do if I don't have this person anymore?
What will I do if I push them away? And
that's not what you want?
Speaker 4 (43:14):
Yeah, I think there's a lot of power and beauty
in a relationship where you can just be open and
honest about your attachment style. I think there's like a
lot of benefit coming from just expressing that to your
partner and saying that it's not necessarily their fault or
anything they're doing that, Like you just happen to have
this anxious attachment and just acknowledging it, because if you're
not speaking it, you're storing it, and that's creating more
(43:35):
anxiety in you. And so I think just like expressing
that and hopefully he receives it and doesn't make you
feel bad about it. But I just think being open
with him, I think will also give you a lot
of relief.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Is Robby secure? What'd you say is a secure attachment?
Speaker 4 (43:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (43:52):
So he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
I think it helps when your partner secure because they're
able to like calm you down, because if they're avoidant,
they'll just like almost shut down.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:02):
And like if I'm if I'm having anxiety about something,
he like knows that it's where it's coming from. He
doesn't get angry, he doesn't get upset, He just listens
to me. And so it's I think I think you'll
feel a lot better if you explain to him what's
going on.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
Good luck.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
It's it's a very It's not a great place to
be when you get into that that headspace, but you're
doing your best. We do have a Thursday episode coming.
Speaker 4 (44:32):
Up, Yes, we do it.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
Well, let us tell.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
You it's gonna be Roxy Diaz, who Kanye has described
as one of the best hyphe women out there. A
girl's a girl, she's like your number one fan.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
Huh. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:49):
I love her so much. I remember when I was
doing the E carpets. She was always so welcoming to
me and like made me always try to lift me
up and make me feel good, never made me feel bad.
And I just I've admired her from the very beginning
when I started working with her. And so she's gonna
come in and tell us about our story.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Yay.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
So we will be back on Thursday, and I hope
you have a great week, and we love you so much.
Speaker 4 (45:16):
Love you.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
Bye.
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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