July 11, 2024 • 44 mins
It’s another round of Ask Banya!
What do you do if your partner keeps photos of exes?? How should you handle overhearing intimate moments from your roommate?? And what’s the right move when you get invited to too many Eras Tour shows?? Becca and Tanya share their expert advice!
Plus, Becca tells us what happened when a guy wouldn’t stop talking to her on a long flight.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing in and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in. Mike was not on.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Mike was not on.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
Today is a Dear Bonia episode. Email advice?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yep, you know what.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I have this thing where I see people on like
podcast clips on TikTok of people giving advice, and I'm like,
why everyone feel like.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Entitled to have advices? And I was like, because we
have like full episodes when we do that. But we
also know we're not We're not really like we're sitting here.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
We're not sitting here saying we're clinically proven to solve all.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Your We don't act like we're like full philosophical or anything.
We're just like we're acting as your friends who would
give you, Like if you were coming to us and
you're like, hey, BECs, Hey Becks and ton.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
I have a problem. What do you think about this?
That's how we see it.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
And sometimes it's is nice to just bounce ideas off
other people. It's not like we're saying this you should
take this advice and do it. It's just like this is
what we would do, right, yeah, and then make your
own decision.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
M hm, exactly so there are deer Banya episodes and ask.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
I'm glad you asked Mark.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Yeah, I'm glad we can clear this up for everybody.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
So dear Bonya is more of like an email response.
Ask Bonya is more of like an a m fire
rapid fire. Yeah, like, what's your favorite taco season?
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Wait? Speaking of really really.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Human?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Oh, I just like a little blend, like taco season,
like blend. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
So on the plane, not from Florida, yeah, but from Canada,
I'm sitting with my headphones in listening to music, just
in my own world. I think my eyes were even closed,
and the guy next to me taps my shoulder great and.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
I was like Hi. He's like hi, so are you?
Are you from here? Like starts a full conversation. I
talked to him the whole flight because I was like, I.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Didn't have the it to be like, okay, my shoulders.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
I was like, this is so Tanya, you.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Know, it's very funny. On Robbie's flight to New York,
I texted him and I was like, hey, like, how's
it going or what are And I was like, do
you have someone next to you that you could talk to?
And he sent me a picture of literally the two
people sitting next to him, and they both were like
one of them was like asleep already on his shoulder
and the other one was like reading a book. And
he was like, no, chatter is in my and on
my block his dream.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yeah, mine too. I don't want to talk to anybody.
I just want to put in my earbuds and watch
a movie because I don't get the time to just
sit and watch movies all the time. Oh it's bliss.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I this was like an hour flight because I had
a short flight in the long flight and this was
a short flight, so it's a really small plane and
we were like.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
This, like I felt like we were this close to
each other.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Was so like, yeah, you're very well.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yeah, but didn't he like this guy was like flirting
with you or anything.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
So oh he wasn't.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
He was older, but he was super nice from uh
he lived in Newport. So we're talking about, you know,
my sister and stuff. But he was like, oh, why
are you in Why are you in Canada? And I
was like, oh, I'm visiting my girlfriend. So the whole
conversation I keep making reference like I went to Japan
with my girlfriend.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Well, and so at the end of the.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Conversation, he's like, oh, so is your is your friend
that lives here that's working here. Is she also single?
And I hadn't said anything about being single, and I
was like, I was like, no, no, my girlfriend romantically.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
And then there's this like fury.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Because I say girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I say like I'm going to often when I say
girlfriend that it is like miss every time I say it,
it's misconstrued.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I know, but that's what I'm saying because like people
often say, girl, I'm going to mix with my girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
So I'm talking about going to visit my girlfriend. I'm
talking about my girlfriend's half Japanese. I'm talking about we're here,
we go here, and I'm talking about a friend.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm just saying I use the
term girlfriend girlfriends often.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
But it was a shock and so then you know,
he was like, oh, that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
But he was super nice.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And but it was at the end of the flight
he found out.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Yes, like for an hour we had a conversation and
I referenced my girlfriend several times, and that's just that's
just kind of what it be like.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Sometimes.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
I think he was trying to work the angle, he
was working the situation.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
He was married. He was like talking about his wife.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Oh really yeah, okay, yeah, he was like, oh, like
we love we have a boat, Like next time you
come up, like, we have a house here, so if
we'll take you out on the boat.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So he was very like, oh yeah, that doesn't feel
forty vibes to me.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
I sent nextuly a married man, so weird to say
like that. I sat next to a married man on
like a five hour flight and it was so weird
because I like, we talked the whole flight. It's like
five hours. We talked the whole flight, cut two and
I flew out there alone. Robbie met me out there,
and then when we flew back home, somehow Robbie sat
(05:17):
next to him on the flight back. I remember, this,
isn't that so wild? Yeah, he ended up switching with
me so that I could sit next to Robbie, which
was very nice and kind, but love for Robbie. You're
(05:38):
you and your silent flyers.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
You got me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
So today we have some emails that are really seeking
the hard hitting advice from the Where's Easton?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Too?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Becca?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Three days to figure that out?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Well, I saw.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Him sitting at the computer, and then when we were
doing the days of the week on the last podcast,
I was gonna say it, and then I forgot, and
so then I just had that moment again.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
He is doing other podcasts right now. The true Yeah,
it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
The podcast load around here is a lot lately, and
Easton is in high demand.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yeah, but should not scrubbing in get number one priorities?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Should But you know, we don't think that's his choice.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
We are flesh and blood in Burbank.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I can handle scrubbing in from a technical element, where
these other shows require Easton because nobody else knows how
to do it. What buttons depressed and what?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Well, then don't take our time slot, understood, take that
back to the powers that be you.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I'm not taking anything anyway. You're welcome. You know them,
you have their number.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Okay, So we have some email advice questions and Mark's
gonna take it away.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
We have a we have a hefty and they're good.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
They're good ones. Where let's start with Angelica. I have
been an avid listener of your podcast from the beginning,
and I have always appreciated the insightful advice and perspectives
you all provide. As my fiance and I are preparing
for a wedding in November. I've been using his computer
since mine has been temporarily out of order. During this time,
(07:13):
I stumbled upon a folder on his desktop page so
right there on the desktop with the girl's name on it,
so out of curiosity, I opened it. To my surprise,
I discovered a collection of pictures featuring my fiance and
his ex from a previous relationship nearly eight years ago.
I'm torn between two options, and one hand, I could
bring this discovery to his attention, hoping for an honest
and open conversation about the presence of these pictures. On
(07:35):
the other hand, maybe I should just leave it alone,
assuming he's genuinely forgotten about them. What should I do?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Do you know what's so interesting? For a long time,
I would be the person who would just I think
I would just kind of shut that off in my
mind and not say anything because I didn't like confrontation.
But I cannot imagine in my relationship now not bringing this.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Up to Haley.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
No, I never I.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Would not be able to to have any piece.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
She would know something was off with me because I
want to be able to hide it, and it would
just there's no way I want to immediately by the
end of the day of seeing.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
This, have to have this conversation with her.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Correct, absolutely, and it might be as simple as.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Like, I feel two things tell us he probably has
no idea its on there. Correct literally probably has no
ideas on there, So he's.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Just to be like I mean he might, but yeah, okay,
I'll give you the guys respective for a second.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
I just don't think that he's like holding on to
this folder to like look at photos of his ex.
I just don't believe that. So my option is either A,
he just doesn't know that it's there so forgot about it,
or B doesn't care to like delete stuff from his
past because it's like part of his life and maybe
(08:54):
he still doesn't know that it's there, but like never
went through like you know, girls like we go through
our phones and we'd like late Daldal like we just
like go like ham. I just don't think guys do that.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Guys like to document, Guys like to archive. Guys for
some reason, we I don't know if it's ego, but
we feel like it's important that we chronicle our lives
for some reason. This would have been something I would
have done and then had to have been told you can't,
this is not cool. Totally would have done that. I
still have some it's like an old photo album of
some ex girlfriends and stuff, but it's not like this
(09:24):
where it's you know, all these photos of them together.
But he's not looking at those photos going oh, how
I miss her? Oh she was so wonderful. It's not
that he's just yeah, it's part of his life. And
so he's got those photos and he feels weird deleting them, Yeah,
because why should.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
He, right in his mind, right, guys are weird.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
No, they're weird, They're just different.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
They're weird.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I think if it was something to be worried about,
you wouldn't have access to get on his computer.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah, he's not hiding it from you. I think it's
an issue.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Yeah, so I.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Think bring it up, because if you don't, it's just
going to eat it you. And I think his response
is not going to be one that is alarming.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Yeah. I think I think you just say, hey, I
saw this today when I was using your computer, and
I I'm not going to stop thinking about until I
talked to you about it, and I just, you know,
is there.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Even say it wasn't nice of me to open the folder.
I shouldn't have been like snooping. I get that, but
I did, and this is what I what I do see,
So you like take accountability for it.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, actually human Like if you're on Robbery's computer, there's
a photo that Yeah, if.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
I like when Haley and I first started dating, well,
there's one thing. I went through her phone and I
saw like a text that I was like, you know,
what is this? And I had to acknowledge that I
cross the line in privacy because it was nothing, and
I had to, you know, own up to the fact
that I had done something that I shouldn't have been
doing in the first place, but also address what I
(10:49):
did see, right, And so I think that I think
that having the conversation is very important for your sanity.
And I also think that it's not going to be
a thing.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
I don't think so either.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Men are so fascinating.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
You're good either way. But if it's bothering you, yeah,
talk to him.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
They like to chronicle do I don't know what that is,
but we do.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Interesting from anonymous Hi Becka an Tanya and Mark and Easton.
Of course, what happened?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
I lost an earring?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Oh boy?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Oh oh no, it's on the side.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Never mind, price is averted a lopsided head over there. Okay,
I've listened to y'all since the beginning. I'm such a
huge fan. To make this one, I know.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
I read this song last night.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
To make a long story short, my husband will not
allow our kids to watch any shows that have LGBTQ characters.
He immediately turns off the TV and explains that this
is not what we believe. He has a long religious explanation.
I don't agree with this approach, but when I give
my opinion, I get shut down. I don't want our
kids to grow up thinking that anyone that doesn't believe
exactly what we do, or anyone that lived their lives
(11:51):
differently than us, have somehow less than or wrong or unworthy.
How do I navigate the situation? I appreciate any input
from y'all.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
This don't this is this is tough.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
First of all, Anonymous, I love you because you're your
way of the I don't want our kids to grow
up thinking that anyone that doesn't believe exactly what we
do or anyone lives their lives differently is somehow less
than wrong or unworthy.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
It's such an important mindset.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, because beyond religious beliefs and doctrine and whatever, I think,
there's just the grander scheme of letting people live their life.
And there's also this I keep saying. I always see
things where they talk about like hate is taught, and
(12:39):
this is the perfect example of that, because there's something
about believing in what you believe. But something about this
man that I'm note just from this email. I don't
like it because I don't like that she can't say
her opinion without getting shut down.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Yes, so was it a belt?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
No?
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I thought, like a frog in my throat?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Oh okay, So like I really don't like that right
off the bat, because why does he get to have
his explanation about what y'all believe? But then when you
have your explanation, you get shut down.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
And the thing is too it's like relationships are compromised.
So it's like he can have his hard stands and
you can have your heart stands. May you should be
able to meet on some middle ground, right, I don't
know what that is in this case. Yeah, But there
has to be some sort of maybe he doesn't want
it on the TV, so then maybe you show them
some books or like, do you know what I mean? Like,
(13:33):
there has to be some sort of middle ground that
you can.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
It's just that when you have this, when this is
how you raise your kids, then they grow up being
homophobic or being questioned. I mean, I lived my life
thinking that anyone who lived differently or believed differently differently
than me was wrong or less than like I very
much grew up in that mindset, and so I'm very
(13:57):
sensitive to that thinking about raising kids because in my mind,
I'm like, kids don't know they don't know race, they
don't know sexuality, They're just kids. And it's like if
if you have a kid that is different and lives
differently than you, and your child is friends with them,
like what a gift that they got?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
They're gonna have to say because maybe maybe they go
like I my parents put me in private school from
kindergarten to eighth grade, and I was literally the only
Serbian Orthodox in that building. Like it was all Catholics,
all just like totally Catholic families like cookie Cutter, Like
that's what you got. And then for high school, I
went to public high school, and it was like a
melting pot. I had ever every sexuality, race, gender, I mean,
(14:43):
you name it. It was like girlfriend, religion, and religions.
It was like all the things. So like, I feel like,
once I hit what is that ninth grade, I was
just exposed to everything, like literally everything, and so it
was like my parents couldn't They didn't shelter me. But
I'm saying, maybe these kids that she has, maybe they're
sheltered at home, but if they go to school, then
they're not sheltered. You know, maybe that could be the
(15:04):
middle ground that she maybe tries to push that agenda,
like Okay, if you're going to shelter them at home,
like I'm going to expose them to the real world.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Yeah, I guess I think that everyone's entitled to their
opinions and their beliefs.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Like I do believe that because I if I get.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
To believe something, then someone else, even if it's totally
different and I don't agree with them at all, they
can believe something.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
But I just.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Don't like the not being able to compromise with your
partner on how you're raising your kids. And I don't
agree with that mentality. Obviously, I'm part of the LGBTQ community,
so I have a very strong opinion against that mentality.
But I am curious because you're a parent, and when
(15:48):
if there was something.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Where you, you.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Know, your wife didn't want your kids exposed to or whatever,
how you would navigate that conversation.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
It's hary that we talked about this a few weeks ago.
The zigzag we make kids? Do you know? Kids love
everyone just instinct truly love everyone, and then they're taught
to hate certain people, and then they meet those people
in real life and they realize, oh my gosh, they're
normal and nice and I love them too, and we
make them do this routine where if you just check
that out and just let them love everyone and encourage
them loving everyone, it's just a much easier life for them.
(16:17):
I think this is hard for me because I know
you love your husband. It's your husband, right, But I
don't have a high opinion of your husband. It's hard
for me because I want to trash him, but that
would be rude because it's your husband and you love him, right.
I think that you too have to have an equal
say in how you raise your kids. Though, yeah, and
maybe that's the conversation, and maybe that's a private conversation,
not in front of the kids, but maybe that you
(16:38):
need to have equal voices and he's welcome to give
his opinion and so are you. You shouldn't be shut
down when you try to talk about this sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I mean, I guess it's just like an old narrative
where I feel like the men's voice, the man's voice
was like the voice of the household, you know what I.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Mean, Like it was just like whatever he says, good
kind of Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Yeah, I think it's a lot different. We've come a
long way.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
They're going to meet gay people someday, yes, right, and
then they're going to realize that dad was wrong. And
so I think, I don't know, I think they're going
to have to hear that from someone, and maybe it
is through books or the outside world. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
But you can always do a passive aggressive approach and
try and find like some podcast that talks about parenting
and how you should expose your kids to you know, X,
y Z and the benefits of it and then send
him that. So it's like somebody professional.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
I just never wanted to teach preach anything to my kids.
I want them to find their own way in all things.
Like I'm not religious, but I never preach that to
my kids, that hey, you shouldn't be religious or that
all that. I don't believe that nonsense. I don't. I don't.
They can they can figure out their own path and
believe whatever they want to believe. And then I don't know,
I don't know, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Did we give her any good advice?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Because I think it's just having a conversation. But I
don't know that he's the type of person that you can.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Rationalize and he's not going to hear it from anybody.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
I just hate that.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
That's that's such a complicated that's so complicated.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Yeah, and what do you watch?
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Like, I feel like everything's got a character that's somewhere
in the rainbow, right, But.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I'm also like.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
What it's So it's such a simple conversation of like
sometimes boys like boys and sometimes girls like girls, and
it's like yeah, and then if you tell kids, they're
kind of like, hey, right, they're great. Yeah, So I
don't know. I'm not a parent, so this is a
tough one. But I also, you know, coming from growing
(18:40):
up in a culture where they believed more like the husband.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
It's harder to teach the hate than it is to
teach the love. It is so much. But that person
they are, they were born a boy, but inside they
feel like a girl. So they want to dress like
a girl and they want to be a girl. They go, okay, cool, yeah,
good for them. Yeah, they could care less.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
About so many things too. It's like just so many things.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I think it's just my biggest thing is not being
able to have a respect for I don't what I'm
gathering from this email is the lack of respect for hell,
what she believes, And I think that's what really bothers me.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
But good luck. We love you, and I love.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
You can get through anything. Yeah, you can get through
anything if you put work to it. We're get into it,
I think, So all.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Right, should we take a break and think about it? Here, Oh,
let's tease. It's a radio technique. As we tease, let's see.
Oh okay, here, I'll just read it. Here's a little
glimpse of our next email. My fiance and I got
into a heated discussion with his father when his dad
found out one of his sisters was not invited to
the wedding. That's nat.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Wow, we left you with the teaser teaser of the century.
All right, get to it Mark.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Thank you from Sarah. Hi Tan, you're back at Mark
and Easton. I love the pod and I have been
a listener for many years. Although we don't know each other,
I feel like we would be great friends.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Me too.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I'm getting married soon, but my fiance got into a
heated discussion with his father a month ago when his
dad found out one of his sisters was not invited
to the wedding. We're having a somewhat intimate wedding, only
seventy people, lots of ants and uncles on all four
sides are not invited. This escalated and my father accusing
him of being embarrassed of him and his family. My
fiance is an only child of divorced parents, and his
(20:44):
father has been known to be stubborn and difficult. He's
been stewing over the argument that he texted us both
individually at three am to tell us he would not
be coming to our wedding. My fiance keeps telling me
he'll handle it, but I know it would kill him
not to have his father at our wedding. What should
I do? Should I still out of it? Should I
say something to his dad?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Weddings are so complicated, the invite list and people.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I don't I might just be like on a different planet.
But like, I don't care if somebody doesn't bring me
a gift to my wedding. I'm not going to be
thinking about that in ten years.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Like I feel like people say that now.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
It's true, I say it now, but like I just don't.
I just I don't know, Like I think people just
get so wound up over so many things about weddings
when it's just like it doesn't need to it's not
that serious.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
I that were worked out because we talked about this
on the radio show with Sisany. Sisney remembers everybody who
didn't give a gift at their wedding, and so do
I really yes, uh, And it's not that we despise them.
It's just always on the back of your mind. My
uncle Rick may he rest in peace, did not give
us a wedding gift, but he was at our wedding
drank from the free bar all night long. No gift
(21:54):
from Uncle Rick. Okay, oversight, who knows honest mistake loft
in the mail. I don't know, but it's always in
the back of my mind. Uncle Rick didn't give us
a gift, so that is so interesting.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Yeah, I don't. I don't know that.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
I don't wish ill upon him.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
I know, I know, but it's like, but it's that,
it's that like I don't know what the word is.
It's just not yeah, but it's something. It's something just there.
It's something like if I was a little yeah, right,
but I feel like people just get so it's like
they're having a seven Do you know how small seventy
(22:30):
people are?
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yeah, seventy was like I think Dean and Kalin's.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
That is nothing, especially when you have large families like
that could literally be I don't even think that would
be our immediate family would be seventy more than that. Yeah,
Rob and I combined, seventy is very intimate. So the
fact that they're not inviting who is it his brother's
uncle or.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Something, her father in law, her father in law sister.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
The group's dad. Sister is not invited and Dad's making
a big deal.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Lot, Okay, but it's not it's their wedding.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah, But also, like my parents wanted to invite all
kinds of people, and we relented because they were helping
pay for it. So fine, you can bring your friend
from mom's friend from work came, Yeah, dad's cousin.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
But what if they're not paying for sure, But if
they're not paying for it, that we don't have that information.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
We don't have that. That is critical information.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
But here's the bottom line. To me, I think you
got to stay out of it. I think this is
between your husband, your fiance, and his father. I don't
think you get involved here.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
I don't think there's anything you can do to make
it better. I mean, unless you invite the sister.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
But yeah, just just say that, Just say invited her.
It's not worth but it's not worth not having his
dad there, like, truly, one more person make it seventy one.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, but that opens the whole Pandora's box, doesn't.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
The other aunts and uncles are invited.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
If he's making us, if he makes a think about one,
you get the one and that's it.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
And then you get a plus one and could be
a sister instead of.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
His plus one and come give him a plus one
and come, I don't like, that's.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Not as good as Ringer.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
No, Ringer, that might be that was a good suggestion.
If she wants to suggest to him, just screw it,
just added to the list.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Squeeze her and squeezer.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
But dad's having this temper tandrum. Do you want to
reward such a temper.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
If it's based off of him not going to.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Then yeah you do. I mean, I can't imagine my
parents ever acting like this, but if it were, if
they weren't going to come to my wedding because I
didn't invite like Sally Sue, I was just feeling.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
My mom's sister's name, so.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
It could be further from my parents siblings like truly,
But if they if they wanted me to invite Sally
Sue or they're not coming, I would just throw her in.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
I would.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
I would stay out of it one hundred percent, and
I would just offer your husband your fiance, like, hey,
I want your dad. I know it's important that your
dad comes to the wedding. So if this is between
I'm inviting one more person or not, let's just have
her come be her plus one.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Sure, and then back off and let your husband figure
it out. His family suck.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
So I this is why, this is, this is why
the wedding thing. I'm just like, I don't know if
I can do it. I have so many I have
so many people that would be upset.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Yeah, I know it's very stressful. I don't like it.
I must feel like that's why I'm like pushing it
away so far, because I.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Better have a plus seven to Tanya upset. Yeah, I
got seven people that want to come. My neighbors down
the streets. They're fans.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
You're invited, but like it was close that.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I'm sure.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
He made the cut.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
But I made both lists.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Yeah, you're on both lists.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Wow. Yeah, because there's a smaller list. I didn't. I
wasn't try to make the smaller list.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
There's a smaller breaking news. Well it's in case we
do this one venue, it has to be forty people less.
Oh wow yeah big cut. Yeah, Godrick gets ruthless in there,
like I all six of you? Bye.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
From anonymous. My husband and I've been trying to conceive
for five months. We're in our late twenties, taking all
the steps, changing our diets, vitamins, no success yet. I'm
a grooms woman in my best friend's wedding in the spring.
That's a whole other. By the way, that's not what
his email is about, but that's fascinating me. I'm a
grooms woman. I'm my best friend's wedding in the spring,
and I was hoping the timeline would play out that
I would have a baby prior to the wedding. At
(26:29):
this point, that timeline is unrealistic. We've been friends for
over twenty years. He was also in my wedding. I'd
really love to be there. Getting to the wedding requires
flying or a ten plus hour car ride. Either would
be tricky with a newborn or in my third trimester.
So my question is should my husband continue trying to conceive,
knowing if I do get pregnant in the next few months,
I may have to miss my best friend's wedding. Or
(26:51):
do we take a couple of months off from trying
so that I can't attend the wedding? For sure, my
hesitation with waiting is that I want to lose out
on a valuable time when we've already he had five
months of trying with no success.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
I mean, you already know my answer.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I have a strong opinion.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Oh oh really, what are your strong opinions.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I think you wait, oh, I think you keep trying.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
You have the rest of your life to she's they're
in their twenties, late twenty but this is this is.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
The phase they're in right now. They are trying. They're
actively trying. I don't think you stop trying just for
a wedding. You have no idea what's going to happen.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
This is a rest friend of over twenty years that
was in her wedding.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
In my opinion, well let's how about this. I give mine,
she gives yours, then you to clear away.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Well you have to pick a side then yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
I just feel like if you do get pregnant, how glorious.
What if this is your opportunity get pregnant, live your life.
Don't base it on someone else's wedding. That's so odd.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
This isn't somebody else. This is her best friend of
twenty years, so they're in their late twenties. You cannot
try for two or three months and then continue trying
in two or three months for another.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
The priority is the baby and your family. You keep trying,
and by the way, what are the odds that exactly,
it's going to be in your third trimester, or you're
going to have a newborn. None of this may happen.
So I think you keep trying, you keep the process
going in whatever that means, and then when it happens,
it happens. You can't base it on somebody else's life.
(28:20):
Basic focus on you.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
This is a life, your memory. This is like your
best friend's wedding of twenty years that you want. You're
gonna have that memory for the rest of your life. Sure,
and she doesn't know it's gonna like I think.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
She can still go. She may be in her second trimester,
maybe the kid is six months old. We don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I mean, okay, Rebecca, so hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on. Do you agree with somebody.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I'm sure think of great?
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Do you want to start the drum roll again?
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
I have a feeling this is not gonna go well
for me.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
I say, keep trying for a baby. Janya says, go
to this.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Wedding, take a break.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
If your friend's wedding, drink some alcohol, party it up,
live it up.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Alcohol should not be your priority.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
That's not it's her best friend's wedding. That's the priority.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Becca.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
I think that you wait, and I think that you
I think that you have sex with your husband and
just have fun and not try and if it happens,
it happens. But I don't think I think you take
a break because I think also you're probably very stressed
not getting pregnant at like they and trying.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
So if you take the pressure off and wait, don't
you just.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Happen bull In, Yeah, don't have any protection and like
do what you do, but don't make it like intentional
where you're like, you know, following a schedule where you're
you know, putting in the effort and work into like
when you're having sex. Not But I think that you
take the pressure off yourself, you wait a few months,
just kind of do what you do.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
If it happens, amazing.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Your friend is going to be so happy for you,
because that's also a huge part of life, is you know,
making that next step and if it doesn't happen, then
you get to go to your best friend's wedding and
enjoy yourself and it.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
You know, it's kind of a hybrid and not really
it's more my side of the kind of.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Hybrid kind of what I said, she said, keep going,
keep having sex. She said, wait, basically half and half.
But I like what you're saying about taking away the
stress of it. The stress of it is a lot
is the ovulation timers and all that stuff that take.
Speaker 4 (30:58):
That, the vitamins, the diet.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Just like, oh my gosh, I'm already stressed that about
that stuff. And I'm not even trying for baby until
after we get married, and I'm already stressed doing blood
work in this and that. It's very I.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Know, and I stress a lot of times when people
either go Okay, we're not going to do that anymore,
they end up getting pregnant.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Absolutely, so Becca has the best advice.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
Wow it guys, really my Also, it was.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
A hybrid of the exactly fifty to fifty, but it
was a team effort.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
More so much it was a team effort.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Let's see, this is from a scrubber in need, which
one a scrubber in need.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Which aims from a scrubber in need?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Okay, Hi, Becca, Tanya Marcern Easton, I'm a longtime listener
and found of the podcast. Thank you for brightening up
so many of my days over the years. That's my
favorite part of that first line. I moved into a
house with my friend and her boyfriend over a month ago.
I love the house, love the location, love the rent,
and the friends. After two years of travel nursing, It's
the first place I've called home in a while, and
I'm very grateful for it. That being said, two story house,
(31:58):
all the bedroom's upstairs, and I can hear my roommates
doing it at least three to four times a week.
It's even woken me up before. I'm happy for them,
and they're presumably fantastic sex life, but boy, it really
makes me feel weird. Do I say something? What do
I even say? I've lived with other couples before this
has never been an issue, and for reference, were on
(32:19):
her late twenties and early thirties.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Definitely need to say something.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
It's so funny because like, if this was you, I'd
be like.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Yo, yeah, I heard everything.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
I would too. I would say it too, because because
you don't want you don't want to be heard, just
as much as I don't want to hear you.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Right exactly, Yeah, Like I think your friend would be like,
oh my god, I am so sorry.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I mean, the thing, the other option is that you
put your head noise canceling headphones in and.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
How some white noise because honestly.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, but here's the thing, this is their house. Yeah,
they should be able to have sex and be as
loud as they want.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
They can't. They have to do it quietly from now on.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
You would hate that.
Speaker 5 (33:05):
First of all, put a pillow over your head and
call it a day every time whatever, if your if
your roommate is hearing it, and you can also they
can maybe try and have sex on nights when like
you're out partying on the town or maybe you're out
of town, or.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Like maybe they can cater to like waiting till you're
asleep or I don't know, like I would want to know.
I would want to know.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
I definitely think you just let them know.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Yeah, because they keep doing it, then do the white
noise and the noise counseling headphones whatever, but like you
have to let them know.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I wonder if her room is like right next to theirs,
like if there's another room option, you know, like further
down the hall or something like.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
If they're sharing a wall. That's really hard because that means.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
I used to hear my room. It wasn't even my roommates.
It was the apartment next to mine. I could hear.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
Mine by the way wall.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah, no, this was not was Cheeky's wall.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Morning show.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
I would hear his TV like I could hear the
TV on. I couldn't quite hear what they were saying,
but I could hear the TV on from my other
room against the Yeah, I was like, you know, if
I hung out in this room a lot, I might
hear something. Well.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I definitely think it's a conversation because I think she
would not want to. I don't think she'd want you
to suffer through hearing them have sex three to four times.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
They could conscious.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
It's really hard because it's like it'd be one thing
that she was just staying there for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 4 (34:34):
But if she's a traveling nurse, she probably does.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
But if there han't it three or four times a week,
that's not just like once here and there.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Definitely, Okay, this is from Ashley. Could we move on?
Speaker 4 (34:52):
So the advice is that she should have a conversation
with her friend.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Maybe, but I guess, yeah, maybe just her girlfriend, Yeah,
not the boyfriend. I agree, Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Hey, did you know you can hear everything through these
walls in this house?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah? This is way to do it more subtly, or
you could record it.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
It's yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
From Ashley High, Scrubbing and Fham. I need your advice.
My best friend and I are major Swifties. I'm so
grateful we're able to get tickets to the Eras tour
in October. We've been counting down the days since last August.
This week, my boyfriend's brother surprised his family me included
with tickets to the tour for the week before. My
(35:40):
friend and I are going. Oh my gosh, I said
to my boyfriend, I don't think I can go, and
it has not gone over well. My boyfriend also likes
Taylor Swift, and I can understand wanting him wanting to
have the experience together, but it feels wrong one of
my best friend that I've been planning this for over
a year. Am I completely del lou side note, I
(36:01):
feel incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to see this
show twice when most people can't get tickets at all.
If I could pass along my ticket to a fellow swifty,
I wouldn't a heartbeat I love the podcast and thank
you so much for your advice.
Speaker 4 (36:15):
Here's what this.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Happened to us. To us, Yeah, I have this situation
feels familiar to me.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
It does.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Well, I wrent with Haley and then went with you
and the group that.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Were gone prior with Robbie as well, So it wasn't
necessarily this, but I do remember it.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
I do recall well, we had an issue in my
family that my youngest got invited to go with her friends,
and so my oldest freaked out, not knowing that I
was working on getting tickets from the radio station, which
I did, and so we all went together, including the
friend and her family, and so it worked out great.
But for a couple of days, Oh, it was toxic
in our house. Yeah, that was bad.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Here's my thing.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
If he knew that you had this plan with your
friend for a long time and he's still got tickets
for the week.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
After, It's like if you say to a friend that
you're gonna watch a movie together, Like let's say we're
all waiting for like the Barbie movie to come out.
We're like, we're gonna watch it together. We're gonna go together,
and then you go with someone else the week before.
That's ft. You can't go go with who anyone else
besides the friend that you got the tickets? Well, and
you're like so stoked to go together, Nick, you made
(37:23):
that like a thing. You can't go prior.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I'm team if you have a team team friend, yeah,
because I think it's so nice that your boyfriend's brother
got y'all all the tickets. But I think that you've
been planning this with your best friend, and I don't
think it would be fair. I mean, my brain is like,
go to both, but I'm assuming there's a plane ticket
or something involved where it's gonna be more money or something,
(37:47):
or it's.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
A friend saying like what the hell, bro Like we
were supposed to go together.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Before, and then if you said to Tanya, by the way,
I'm gonna go Taylor the week before, Chill I did.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
The Taylor movie. Remember, we were like, we're going to
see it, and you're like, I got the theater. I
rented out the theater for everybody and invited to the premiere.
I'm going a week before you. I was like, hmmm,
that's not nice.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
Oh I'm sorry, I did that bigger better offer.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
It was, Yeah, that's like quintessential l a dilemma and
you fell trapping. I did. I didn't stick to your friends.
I took the shiny object. I did, and it was
not nice.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
And she sat right in front of me.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
It was not nice, right in front.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
Of me with their dancer.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
To betray your friends.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
To sit in front with Taylor foot from you. Yes,
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
I shouldn't have been shocked by the fourth of July.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Oh my god, it's a full circle.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
This is so so. You're saying, ditch the fam, sick
with the BFF.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Friends wants to take her, he wants to go with her.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
I know, but sorry, I already made a commitment. I
am a woman of my word, committed to my friend
to going the two of us together for the first time.
And it's important for me to keep my word. You
want me to be loyal as in a partner, as
a partner, this is me.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Your boyfriend's gonna go without you to Taylor Swift with
his family a week before you go. Yeah, it would
kill you that night that your boyfriend's at the show
right now.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Oh yeah, would kill me.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Songs he would get.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
Oh that could be crazy.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I wonder if they could get just like an extra ticket,
squeeze the friend in for that night.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
But boyfriend's brothers seems very generous.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Yeah, my gosh, yeah, it feels like a lot of
tickets the family. Yeah, fam got it tickets. Yeah, I
would say which seat is better?
Speaker 1 (39:51):
That's actually a consideration. And that's a really good point.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
Yes, mess up. I don't co sign to that.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
Okay, So weird is about that?
Speaker 1 (40:01):
What if the brother got them tickets that are like
down close to the stage, and your tickets with your
girlfriend upper deck.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Packed with her girlfriend to do this is the Monday
by the way, that's how I yes, Monday, the Monday energy,
that's the Saturday energy.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Well Thursday talking over here that that's how we won
that with the friends is I got better tickets to
the radio station. By the way, I had to pay
for them. Now we didn't get freeviews or anything. Then
the family got family got upper deck tickets. My tickets
were down close. So week of those are the kids
and the parents set up above, And that's how it
all worked out. But that's a factor here. We cannot
(40:37):
pretend that's not a factor here.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
It's irrelevant.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I think you say to your boyfriend, I love you
so much. And this is a really, really hard and
complicated decision. But I made these plans for this concert
to go with my best friend, and we've loved Taylor
Swift forever and this is going to be like a
very special night. And I would feel bad going and
seeing the concert, you know, a week before we're supposed
to experience it for the first time together, to be annoyed,
(41:04):
and he will be annoyed, and he I hope we'll
get over it and you can give the ticket. Maybe
there's someone else in the family who would love to go.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
Yeah, this is hard. It's not that hard.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
I think it is.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
I think it is too stay loyal and true.
Speaker 4 (41:21):
I think i'd go.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Before I think I think my I also would like
to think that my best friend would be like that
is so exciting that you get to go twice.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Like I get your friend's reaction.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Because a really really solid friend would be like, that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
You get an opportunity.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Because like if you were like, oh, you get to
go and be in the same theater as Taylor Swift,
even though you're going to see it before me, that's
so epic.
Speaker 4 (41:46):
I did.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
That's what I said.
Speaker 4 (41:47):
You're holding it against me.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Well, right, but I let you go. I did not stop.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
It's more of the support of like feeling like, oh,
I my friend, like understand, like Tanya, understand, I did deal.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
I did right. If you'd just slash your tires to
stop exactly.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
But maybe maybe you have a conversation with your friend
and you say, hey, this came up. I am so
torn because like I really wanted to experience it with
fresh eyes with you, but I have this opportunity to
go with the family.
Speaker 4 (42:15):
I didn't know this was going to happen, Like.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
How do our suggestion run it by the friend if
she's really hurt?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Stayed the right things, but inside you can tell her.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Friend, yeah all right, because it was the best advice
we gave the whole show. I feel like my my
pregnance like that was good too. But that was that
was ending. That was a good end.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
That was also like piggybacking off of my combination, the
best of both, just like I took Monday and Thursday
and gave them Saturday.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
You know what I'm saying, Florida.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Is that it I think that's it.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
What a show?
Speaker 4 (42:54):
What a show? Another dear Bonya.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
And yeah, but you know how you listen to this.
If there are any suggestions that you may have to
us about, maybe guests, you would like to see, things
you would like us to talk about, maybe some in
depth like I've you know, contrary to Marx beliefs, people
are into cycle sinking. And you know, if there's some
some some topics that you would like us to hone
(43:20):
in on, let us know either DM us or send
an email to scrubbing in at iHeartMedia dot.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
Com or DM Crystal.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
You can post on the Facebook group.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
Yeah, we see it all.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
I get lost in the Facebook group a little. I
don't know how you see all those.
Speaker 4 (43:38):
Yeah, just go the page.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
I can see when people tag me and stuff, but
if they if.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
I'm not tagged, it's everything.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Please please tag me.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Give us suggestions. We love hearing from you. Love you
so much, Love you so much. Happy Thursday, Love you by.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
Sam.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Listening to us, Sam dosed off about a half an
ho the shiit, what's the best
Scrubbing in and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in. Mike was not on.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Mike was not on.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
Today is a Dear Bonia episode. Email advice?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yep, you know what.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I have this thing where I see people on like
podcast clips on TikTok of people giving advice, and I'm like,
why everyone feel like.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Entitled to have advices? And I was like, because we
have like full episodes when we do that. But we
also know we're not We're not really like we're sitting here.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
We're not sitting here saying we're clinically proven to solve all.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Your We don't act like we're like full philosophical or anything.
We're just like we're acting as your friends who would
give you, Like if you were coming to us and
you're like, hey, BECs, Hey Becks and ton.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
I have a problem. What do you think about this?
That's how we see it.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
And sometimes it's is nice to just bounce ideas off
other people. It's not like we're saying this you should
take this advice and do it. It's just like this is
what we would do, right, yeah, and then make your
own decision.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
M hm, exactly so there are deer Banya episodes and ask.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
I'm glad you asked Mark.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Yeah, I'm glad we can clear this up for everybody.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
So dear Bonya is more of like an email response.
Ask Bonya is more of like an a m fire
rapid fire. Yeah, like, what's your favorite taco season?
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Wait? Speaking of really really.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Human?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Oh, I just like a little blend, like taco season,
like blend. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
So on the plane, not from Florida, yeah, but from Canada,
I'm sitting with my headphones in listening to music, just
in my own world. I think my eyes were even closed,
and the guy next to me taps my shoulder great and.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
I was like Hi. He's like hi, so are you?
Are you from here? Like starts a full conversation. I
talked to him the whole flight because I was like, I.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Didn't have the it to be like, okay, my shoulders.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
I was like, this is so Tanya, you.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Know, it's very funny. On Robbie's flight to New York,
I texted him and I was like, hey, like, how's
it going or what are And I was like, do
you have someone next to you that you could talk to?
And he sent me a picture of literally the two
people sitting next to him, and they both were like
one of them was like asleep already on his shoulder
and the other one was like reading a book. And
he was like, no, chatter is in my and on
my block his dream.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yeah, mine too. I don't want to talk to anybody.
I just want to put in my earbuds and watch
a movie because I don't get the time to just
sit and watch movies all the time. Oh it's bliss.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I this was like an hour flight because I had
a short flight in the long flight and this was
a short flight, so it's a really small plane and
we were like.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
This, like I felt like we were this close to
each other.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Was so like, yeah, you're very well.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yeah, but didn't he like this guy was like flirting
with you or anything.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
So oh he wasn't.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
He was older, but he was super nice from uh
he lived in Newport. So we're talking about, you know,
my sister and stuff. But he was like, oh, why
are you in Why are you in Canada? And I
was like, oh, I'm visiting my girlfriend. So the whole
conversation I keep making reference like I went to Japan
with my girlfriend.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Well, and so at the end of the.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Conversation, he's like, oh, so is your is your friend
that lives here that's working here. Is she also single?
And I hadn't said anything about being single, and I
was like, I was like, no, no, my girlfriend romantically.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
And then there's this like fury.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Because I say girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I say like I'm going to often when I say
girlfriend that it is like miss every time I say it,
it's misconstrued.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I know, but that's what I'm saying because like people
often say, girl, I'm going to mix with my girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
So I'm talking about going to visit my girlfriend. I'm
talking about my girlfriend's half Japanese. I'm talking about we're here,
we go here, and I'm talking about a friend.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm just saying I use the
term girlfriend girlfriends often.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
But it was a shock and so then you know,
he was like, oh, that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
But he was super nice.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And but it was at the end of the flight
he found out.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Yes, like for an hour we had a conversation and
I referenced my girlfriend several times, and that's just that's
just kind of what it be like.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Sometimes.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
I think he was trying to work the angle, he
was working the situation.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
He was married. He was like talking about his wife.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Oh really yeah, okay, yeah, he was like, oh, like
we love we have a boat, Like next time you
come up, like, we have a house here, so if
we'll take you out on the boat.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So he was very like, oh yeah, that doesn't feel
forty vibes to me.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
I sent nextuly a married man, so weird to say
like that. I sat next to a married man on
like a five hour flight and it was so weird
because I like, we talked the whole flight. It's like
five hours. We talked the whole flight, cut two and
I flew out there alone. Robbie met me out there,
and then when we flew back home, somehow Robbie sat
(05:17):
next to him on the flight back. I remember, this,
isn't that so wild? Yeah, he ended up switching with
me so that I could sit next to Robbie, which
was very nice and kind, but love for Robbie. You're
(05:38):
you and your silent flyers.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
You got me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
So today we have some emails that are really seeking
the hard hitting advice from the Where's Easton?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Too?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Becca?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Three days to figure that out?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Well, I saw.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Him sitting at the computer, and then when we were
doing the days of the week on the last podcast,
I was gonna say it, and then I forgot, and
so then I just had that moment again.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
He is doing other podcasts right now. The true Yeah,
it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
The podcast load around here is a lot lately, and
Easton is in high demand.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yeah, but should not scrubbing in get number one priorities?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Should But you know, we don't think that's his choice.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
We are flesh and blood in Burbank.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I can handle scrubbing in from a technical element, where
these other shows require Easton because nobody else knows how
to do it. What buttons depressed and what?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Well, then don't take our time slot, understood, take that
back to the powers that be you.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I'm not taking anything anyway. You're welcome. You know them,
you have their number.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Okay, So we have some email advice questions and Mark's
gonna take it away.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
We have a we have a hefty and they're good.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
They're good ones. Where let's start with Angelica. I have
been an avid listener of your podcast from the beginning,
and I have always appreciated the insightful advice and perspectives
you all provide. As my fiance and I are preparing
for a wedding in November. I've been using his computer
since mine has been temporarily out of order. During this time,
(07:13):
I stumbled upon a folder on his desktop page so
right there on the desktop with the girl's name on it,
so out of curiosity, I opened it. To my surprise,
I discovered a collection of pictures featuring my fiance and
his ex from a previous relationship nearly eight years ago.
I'm torn between two options, and one hand, I could
bring this discovery to his attention, hoping for an honest
and open conversation about the presence of these pictures. On
(07:35):
the other hand, maybe I should just leave it alone,
assuming he's genuinely forgotten about them. What should I do?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Do you know what's so interesting? For a long time,
I would be the person who would just I think
I would just kind of shut that off in my
mind and not say anything because I didn't like confrontation.
But I cannot imagine in my relationship now not bringing this.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Up to Haley.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
No, I never I.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Would not be able to to have any piece.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
She would know something was off with me because I
want to be able to hide it, and it would
just there's no way I want to immediately by the
end of the day of seeing.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
This, have to have this conversation with her.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Correct, absolutely, and it might be as simple as.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Like, I feel two things tell us he probably has
no idea its on there. Correct literally probably has no
ideas on there, So he's.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Just to be like I mean he might, but yeah, okay,
I'll give you the guys respective for a second.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
I just don't think that he's like holding on to
this folder to like look at photos of his ex.
I just don't believe that. So my option is either A,
he just doesn't know that it's there so forgot about it,
or B doesn't care to like delete stuff from his
past because it's like part of his life and maybe
(08:54):
he still doesn't know that it's there, but like never
went through like you know, girls like we go through
our phones and we'd like late Daldal like we just
like go like ham. I just don't think guys do that.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Guys like to document, Guys like to archive. Guys for
some reason, we I don't know if it's ego, but
we feel like it's important that we chronicle our lives
for some reason. This would have been something I would
have done and then had to have been told you can't,
this is not cool. Totally would have done that. I
still have some it's like an old photo album of
some ex girlfriends and stuff, but it's not like this
(09:24):
where it's you know, all these photos of them together.
But he's not looking at those photos going oh, how
I miss her? Oh she was so wonderful. It's not
that he's just yeah, it's part of his life. And
so he's got those photos and he feels weird deleting them, Yeah,
because why should.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
He, right in his mind, right, guys are weird.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
No, they're weird, They're just different.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
They're weird.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I think if it was something to be worried about,
you wouldn't have access to get on his computer.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah, he's not hiding it from you. I think it's
an issue.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Yeah, so I.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Think bring it up, because if you don't, it's just
going to eat it you. And I think his response
is not going to be one that is alarming.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Yeah. I think I think you just say, hey, I
saw this today when I was using your computer, and
I I'm not going to stop thinking about until I
talked to you about it, and I just, you know,
is there.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Even say it wasn't nice of me to open the folder.
I shouldn't have been like snooping. I get that, but
I did, and this is what I what I do see,
So you like take accountability for it.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, actually human Like if you're on Robbery's computer, there's
a photo that Yeah, if.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
I like when Haley and I first started dating, well,
there's one thing. I went through her phone and I
saw like a text that I was like, you know,
what is this? And I had to acknowledge that I
cross the line in privacy because it was nothing, and
I had to, you know, own up to the fact
that I had done something that I shouldn't have been
doing in the first place, but also address what I
(10:49):
did see, right, And so I think that I think
that having the conversation is very important for your sanity.
And I also think that it's not going to be
a thing.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
I don't think so either.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Men are so fascinating.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
You're good either way. But if it's bothering you, yeah,
talk to him.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
They like to chronicle do I don't know what that is,
but we do.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Interesting from anonymous Hi Becka an Tanya and Mark and Easton.
Of course, what happened?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
I lost an earring?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Oh boy?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Oh oh no, it's on the side.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Never mind, price is averted a lopsided head over there. Okay,
I've listened to y'all since the beginning. I'm such a
huge fan. To make this one, I know.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
I read this song last night.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
To make a long story short, my husband will not
allow our kids to watch any shows that have LGBTQ characters.
He immediately turns off the TV and explains that this
is not what we believe. He has a long religious explanation.
I don't agree with this approach, but when I give
my opinion, I get shut down. I don't want our
kids to grow up thinking that anyone that doesn't believe
exactly what we do, or anyone that lived their lives
(11:51):
differently than us, have somehow less than or wrong or unworthy.
How do I navigate the situation? I appreciate any input
from y'all.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
This don't this is this is tough.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
First of all, Anonymous, I love you because you're your
way of the I don't want our kids to grow
up thinking that anyone that doesn't believe exactly what we
do or anyone lives their lives differently is somehow less
than wrong or unworthy.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
It's such an important mindset.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, because beyond religious beliefs and doctrine and whatever, I think,
there's just the grander scheme of letting people live their life.
And there's also this I keep saying. I always see
things where they talk about like hate is taught, and
(12:39):
this is the perfect example of that, because there's something
about believing in what you believe. But something about this
man that I'm note just from this email. I don't
like it because I don't like that she can't say
her opinion without getting shut down.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Yes, so was it a belt?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
No?
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I thought, like a frog in my throat?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Oh okay, So like I really don't like that right
off the bat, because why does he get to have
his explanation about what y'all believe? But then when you
have your explanation, you get shut down.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
And the thing is too it's like relationships are compromised.
So it's like he can have his hard stands and
you can have your heart stands. May you should be
able to meet on some middle ground, right, I don't
know what that is in this case. Yeah, But there
has to be some sort of maybe he doesn't want
it on the TV, so then maybe you show them
some books or like, do you know what I mean? Like,
(13:33):
there has to be some sort of middle ground that
you can.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
It's just that when you have this, when this is
how you raise your kids, then they grow up being
homophobic or being questioned. I mean, I lived my life
thinking that anyone who lived differently or believed differently differently
than me was wrong or less than like I very
much grew up in that mindset, and so I'm very
(13:57):
sensitive to that thinking about raising kids because in my mind,
I'm like, kids don't know they don't know race, they
don't know sexuality, They're just kids. And it's like if
if you have a kid that is different and lives
differently than you, and your child is friends with them,
like what a gift that they got?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
They're gonna have to say because maybe maybe they go
like I my parents put me in private school from
kindergarten to eighth grade, and I was literally the only
Serbian Orthodox in that building. Like it was all Catholics,
all just like totally Catholic families like cookie Cutter, Like
that's what you got. And then for high school, I
went to public high school, and it was like a
melting pot. I had ever every sexuality, race, gender, I mean,
(14:43):
you name it. It was like girlfriend, religion, and religions.
It was like all the things. So like, I feel like,
once I hit what is that ninth grade, I was
just exposed to everything, like literally everything, and so it
was like my parents couldn't They didn't shelter me. But
I'm saying, maybe these kids that she has, maybe they're
sheltered at home, but if they go to school, then
they're not sheltered. You know, maybe that could be the
(15:04):
middle ground that she maybe tries to push that agenda,
like Okay, if you're going to shelter them at home,
like I'm going to expose them to the real world.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Yeah, I guess I think that everyone's entitled to their
opinions and their beliefs.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Like I do believe that because I if I get.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
To believe something, then someone else, even if it's totally
different and I don't agree with them at all, they
can believe something.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
But I just.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Don't like the not being able to compromise with your
partner on how you're raising your kids. And I don't
agree with that mentality. Obviously, I'm part of the LGBTQ community,
so I have a very strong opinion against that mentality.
But I am curious because you're a parent, and when
(15:48):
if there was something.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Where you, you.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Know, your wife didn't want your kids exposed to or whatever,
how you would navigate that conversation.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
It's hary that we talked about this a few weeks ago.
The zigzag we make kids? Do you know? Kids love
everyone just instinct truly love everyone, and then they're taught
to hate certain people, and then they meet those people
in real life and they realize, oh my gosh, they're
normal and nice and I love them too, and we
make them do this routine where if you just check
that out and just let them love everyone and encourage
them loving everyone, it's just a much easier life for them.
(16:17):
I think this is hard for me because I know
you love your husband. It's your husband, right, But I
don't have a high opinion of your husband. It's hard
for me because I want to trash him, but that
would be rude because it's your husband and you love him, right.
I think that you too have to have an equal
say in how you raise your kids. Though, yeah, and
maybe that's the conversation, and maybe that's a private conversation,
not in front of the kids, but maybe that you
(16:38):
need to have equal voices and he's welcome to give
his opinion and so are you. You shouldn't be shut
down when you try to talk about this sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I mean, I guess it's just like an old narrative
where I feel like the men's voice, the man's voice
was like the voice of the household, you know what I.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Mean, Like it was just like whatever he says, good
kind of Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Yeah, I think it's a lot different. We've come a
long way.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
They're going to meet gay people someday, yes, right, and
then they're going to realize that dad was wrong. And
so I think, I don't know, I think they're going
to have to hear that from someone, and maybe it
is through books or the outside world. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
But you can always do a passive aggressive approach and
try and find like some podcast that talks about parenting
and how you should expose your kids to you know, X,
y Z and the benefits of it and then send
him that. So it's like somebody professional.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
I just never wanted to teach preach anything to my kids.
I want them to find their own way in all things.
Like I'm not religious, but I never preach that to
my kids, that hey, you shouldn't be religious or that
all that. I don't believe that nonsense. I don't. I don't.
They can they can figure out their own path and
believe whatever they want to believe. And then I don't know,
I don't know, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Did we give her any good advice?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Because I think it's just having a conversation. But I
don't know that he's the type of person that you can.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Rationalize and he's not going to hear it from anybody.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
I just hate that.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
That's that's such a complicated that's so complicated.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Yeah, and what do you watch?
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Like, I feel like everything's got a character that's somewhere
in the rainbow, right, But.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I'm also like.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
What it's So it's such a simple conversation of like
sometimes boys like boys and sometimes girls like girls, and
it's like yeah, and then if you tell kids, they're
kind of like, hey, right, they're great. Yeah, So I
don't know. I'm not a parent, so this is a
tough one. But I also, you know, coming from growing
(18:40):
up in a culture where they believed more like the husband.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
It's harder to teach the hate than it is to
teach the love. It is so much. But that person
they are, they were born a boy, but inside they
feel like a girl. So they want to dress like
a girl and they want to be a girl. They go, okay, cool, yeah,
good for them. Yeah, they could care less.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
About so many things too. It's like just so many things.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I think it's just my biggest thing is not being
able to have a respect for I don't what I'm
gathering from this email is the lack of respect for hell,
what she believes, And I think that's what really bothers me.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
But good luck. We love you, and I love.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
You can get through anything. Yeah, you can get through
anything if you put work to it. We're get into it,
I think, So all.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Right, should we take a break and think about it? Here, Oh,
let's tease. It's a radio technique. As we tease, let's see.
Oh okay, here, I'll just read it. Here's a little
glimpse of our next email. My fiance and I got
into a heated discussion with his father when his dad
found out one of his sisters was not invited to
the wedding. That's nat.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Wow, we left you with the teaser teaser of the century.
All right, get to it Mark.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Thank you from Sarah. Hi Tan, you're back at Mark
and Easton. I love the pod and I have been
a listener for many years. Although we don't know each other,
I feel like we would be great friends.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Me too.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I'm getting married soon, but my fiance got into a
heated discussion with his father a month ago when his
dad found out one of his sisters was not invited
to the wedding. We're having a somewhat intimate wedding, only
seventy people, lots of ants and uncles on all four
sides are not invited. This escalated and my father accusing
him of being embarrassed of him and his family. My
fiance is an only child of divorced parents, and his
(20:44):
father has been known to be stubborn and difficult. He's
been stewing over the argument that he texted us both
individually at three am to tell us he would not
be coming to our wedding. My fiance keeps telling me
he'll handle it, but I know it would kill him
not to have his father at our wedding. What should
I do? Should I still out of it? Should I
say something to his dad?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Weddings are so complicated, the invite list and people.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I don't I might just be like on a different planet.
But like, I don't care if somebody doesn't bring me
a gift to my wedding. I'm not going to be
thinking about that in ten years.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Like I feel like people say that now.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
It's true, I say it now, but like I just don't.
I just I don't know, Like I think people just
get so wound up over so many things about weddings
when it's just like it doesn't need to it's not
that serious.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
I that were worked out because we talked about this
on the radio show with Sisany. Sisney remembers everybody who
didn't give a gift at their wedding, and so do
I really yes, uh, And it's not that we despise them.
It's just always on the back of your mind. My
uncle Rick may he rest in peace, did not give
us a wedding gift, but he was at our wedding
drank from the free bar all night long. No gift
(21:54):
from Uncle Rick. Okay, oversight, who knows honest mistake loft
in the mail. I don't know, but it's always in
the back of my mind. Uncle Rick didn't give us
a gift, so that is so interesting.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Yeah, I don't. I don't know that.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
I don't wish ill upon him.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
I know, I know, but it's like, but it's that,
it's that like I don't know what the word is.
It's just not yeah, but it's something. It's something just there.
It's something like if I was a little yeah, right,
but I feel like people just get so it's like
they're having a seven Do you know how small seventy
(22:30):
people are?
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yeah, seventy was like I think Dean and Kalin's.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
That is nothing, especially when you have large families like
that could literally be I don't even think that would
be our immediate family would be seventy more than that. Yeah,
Rob and I combined, seventy is very intimate. So the
fact that they're not inviting who is it his brother's
uncle or.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Something, her father in law, her father in law sister.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
The group's dad. Sister is not invited and Dad's making
a big deal.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Lot, Okay, but it's not it's their wedding.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah, But also, like my parents wanted to invite all
kinds of people, and we relented because they were helping
pay for it. So fine, you can bring your friend
from mom's friend from work came, Yeah, dad's cousin.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
But what if they're not paying for sure, But if
they're not paying for it, that we don't have that information.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
We don't have that. That is critical information.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
But here's the bottom line. To me, I think you
got to stay out of it. I think this is
between your husband, your fiance, and his father. I don't
think you get involved here.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
I don't think there's anything you can do to make
it better. I mean, unless you invite the sister.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
But yeah, just just say that, Just say invited her.
It's not worth but it's not worth not having his
dad there, like, truly, one more person make it seventy one.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, but that opens the whole Pandora's box, doesn't.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
The other aunts and uncles are invited.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
If he's making us, if he makes a think about one,
you get the one and that's it.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
And then you get a plus one and could be
a sister instead of.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
His plus one and come give him a plus one
and come, I don't like, that's.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Not as good as Ringer.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
No, Ringer, that might be that was a good suggestion.
If she wants to suggest to him, just screw it,
just added to the list.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Squeeze her and squeezer.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
But dad's having this temper tandrum. Do you want to
reward such a temper.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
If it's based off of him not going to.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Then yeah you do. I mean, I can't imagine my
parents ever acting like this, but if it were, if
they weren't going to come to my wedding because I
didn't invite like Sally Sue, I was just feeling.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
My mom's sister's name, so.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
It could be further from my parents siblings like truly,
But if they if they wanted me to invite Sally
Sue or they're not coming, I would just throw her in.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
I would.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
I would stay out of it one hundred percent, and
I would just offer your husband your fiance, like, hey,
I want your dad. I know it's important that your
dad comes to the wedding. So if this is between
I'm inviting one more person or not, let's just have
her come be her plus one.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Sure, and then back off and let your husband figure
it out. His family suck.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
So I this is why, this is, this is why
the wedding thing. I'm just like, I don't know if
I can do it. I have so many I have
so many people that would be upset.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Yeah, I know it's very stressful. I don't like it.
I must feel like that's why I'm like pushing it
away so far, because I.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Better have a plus seven to Tanya upset. Yeah, I
got seven people that want to come. My neighbors down
the streets. They're fans.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
You're invited, but like it was close that.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I'm sure.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
He made the cut.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
But I made both lists.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Yeah, you're on both lists.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Wow. Yeah, because there's a smaller list. I didn't. I
wasn't try to make the smaller list.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
There's a smaller breaking news. Well it's in case we
do this one venue, it has to be forty people less.
Oh wow yeah big cut. Yeah, Godrick gets ruthless in there,
like I all six of you? Bye.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
From anonymous. My husband and I've been trying to conceive
for five months. We're in our late twenties, taking all
the steps, changing our diets, vitamins, no success yet. I'm
a grooms woman in my best friend's wedding in the spring.
That's a whole other. By the way, that's not what
his email is about, but that's fascinating me. I'm a
grooms woman. I'm my best friend's wedding in the spring,
and I was hoping the timeline would play out that
I would have a baby prior to the wedding. At
(26:29):
this point, that timeline is unrealistic. We've been friends for
over twenty years. He was also in my wedding. I'd
really love to be there. Getting to the wedding requires
flying or a ten plus hour car ride. Either would
be tricky with a newborn or in my third trimester.
So my question is should my husband continue trying to conceive,
knowing if I do get pregnant in the next few months,
I may have to miss my best friend's wedding. Or
(26:51):
do we take a couple of months off from trying
so that I can't attend the wedding? For sure, my
hesitation with waiting is that I want to lose out
on a valuable time when we've already he had five
months of trying with no success.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
I mean, you already know my answer.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I have a strong opinion.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Oh oh really, what are your strong opinions.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I think you wait, oh, I think you keep trying.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
You have the rest of your life to she's they're
in their twenties, late twenty but this is this is.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
The phase they're in right now. They are trying. They're
actively trying. I don't think you stop trying just for
a wedding. You have no idea what's going to happen.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
This is a rest friend of over twenty years that
was in her wedding.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
In my opinion, well let's how about this. I give mine,
she gives yours, then you to clear away.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Well you have to pick a side then yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
I just feel like if you do get pregnant, how glorious.
What if this is your opportunity get pregnant, live your life.
Don't base it on someone else's wedding. That's so odd.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
This isn't somebody else. This is her best friend of
twenty years, so they're in their late twenties. You cannot
try for two or three months and then continue trying
in two or three months for another.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
The priority is the baby and your family. You keep trying,
and by the way, what are the odds that exactly,
it's going to be in your third trimester, or you're
going to have a newborn. None of this may happen.
So I think you keep trying, you keep the process
going in whatever that means, and then when it happens,
it happens. You can't base it on somebody else's life.
(28:20):
Basic focus on you.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
This is a life, your memory. This is like your
best friend's wedding of twenty years that you want. You're
gonna have that memory for the rest of your life. Sure,
and she doesn't know it's gonna like I think.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
She can still go. She may be in her second trimester,
maybe the kid is six months old. We don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I mean, okay, Rebecca, so hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on. Do you agree with somebody.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I'm sure think of great?
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Do you want to start the drum roll again?
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
I have a feeling this is not gonna go well
for me.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
I say, keep trying for a baby. Janya says, go
to this.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Wedding, take a break.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
If your friend's wedding, drink some alcohol, party it up,
live it up.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Alcohol should not be your priority.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
That's not it's her best friend's wedding. That's the priority.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Becca.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
I think that you wait, and I think that you
I think that you have sex with your husband and
just have fun and not try and if it happens,
it happens. But I don't think I think you take
a break because I think also you're probably very stressed
not getting pregnant at like they and trying.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
So if you take the pressure off and wait, don't
you just.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Happen bull In, Yeah, don't have any protection and like
do what you do, but don't make it like intentional
where you're like, you know, following a schedule where you're
you know, putting in the effort and work into like
when you're having sex. Not But I think that you
take the pressure off yourself, you wait a few months,
just kind of do what you do.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
If it happens, amazing.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Your friend is going to be so happy for you,
because that's also a huge part of life, is you know,
making that next step and if it doesn't happen, then
you get to go to your best friend's wedding and
enjoy yourself and it.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
You know, it's kind of a hybrid and not really
it's more my side of the kind of.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Hybrid kind of what I said, she said, keep going,
keep having sex. She said, wait, basically half and half.
But I like what you're saying about taking away the
stress of it. The stress of it is a lot
is the ovulation timers and all that stuff that take.
Speaker 4 (30:58):
That, the vitamins, the diet.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Just like, oh my gosh, I'm already stressed that about
that stuff. And I'm not even trying for baby until
after we get married, and I'm already stressed doing blood
work in this and that. It's very I.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Know, and I stress a lot of times when people
either go Okay, we're not going to do that anymore,
they end up getting pregnant.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Absolutely, so Becca has the best advice.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
Wow it guys, really my Also, it was.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
A hybrid of the exactly fifty to fifty, but it
was a team effort.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
More so much it was a team effort.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Let's see, this is from a scrubber in need, which
one a scrubber in need.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Which aims from a scrubber in need?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Okay, Hi, Becca, Tanya Marcern Easton, I'm a longtime listener
and found of the podcast. Thank you for brightening up
so many of my days over the years. That's my
favorite part of that first line. I moved into a
house with my friend and her boyfriend over a month ago.
I love the house, love the location, love the rent,
and the friends. After two years of travel nursing, It's
the first place I've called home in a while, and
I'm very grateful for it. That being said, two story house,
(31:58):
all the bedroom's upstairs, and I can hear my roommates
doing it at least three to four times a week.
It's even woken me up before. I'm happy for them,
and they're presumably fantastic sex life, but boy, it really
makes me feel weird. Do I say something? What do
I even say? I've lived with other couples before this
has never been an issue, and for reference, were on
(32:19):
her late twenties and early thirties.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Definitely need to say something.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
It's so funny because like, if this was you, I'd
be like.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Yo, yeah, I heard everything.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
I would too. I would say it too, because because
you don't want you don't want to be heard, just
as much as I don't want to hear you.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Right exactly, Yeah, Like I think your friend would be like,
oh my god, I am so sorry.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I mean, the thing, the other option is that you
put your head noise canceling headphones in and.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
How some white noise because honestly.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, but here's the thing, this is their house. Yeah,
they should be able to have sex and be as
loud as they want.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
They can't. They have to do it quietly from now on.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
You would hate that.
Speaker 5 (33:05):
First of all, put a pillow over your head and
call it a day every time whatever, if your if
your roommate is hearing it, and you can also they
can maybe try and have sex on nights when like
you're out partying on the town or maybe you're out
of town, or.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Like maybe they can cater to like waiting till you're
asleep or I don't know, like I would want to know.
I would want to know.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
I definitely think you just let them know.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Yeah, because they keep doing it, then do the white
noise and the noise counseling headphones whatever, but like you
have to let them know.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I wonder if her room is like right next to theirs,
like if there's another room option, you know, like further
down the hall or something like.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
If they're sharing a wall. That's really hard because that means.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
I used to hear my room. It wasn't even my roommates.
It was the apartment next to mine. I could hear.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
Mine by the way wall.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah, no, this was not was Cheeky's wall.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Morning show.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
I would hear his TV like I could hear the
TV on. I couldn't quite hear what they were saying,
but I could hear the TV on from my other
room against the Yeah, I was like, you know, if
I hung out in this room a lot, I might
hear something. Well.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I definitely think it's a conversation because I think she
would not want to. I don't think she'd want you
to suffer through hearing them have sex three to four times.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
They could conscious.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
It's really hard because it's like it'd be one thing
that she was just staying there for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 4 (34:34):
But if she's a traveling nurse, she probably does.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
But if there han't it three or four times a week,
that's not just like once here and there.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Definitely, Okay, this is from Ashley. Could we move on?
Speaker 4 (34:52):
So the advice is that she should have a conversation
with her friend.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Maybe, but I guess, yeah, maybe just her girlfriend, Yeah,
not the boyfriend. I agree, Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Hey, did you know you can hear everything through these
walls in this house?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah? This is way to do it more subtly, or
you could record it.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
It's yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
From Ashley High, Scrubbing and Fham. I need your advice.
My best friend and I are major Swifties. I'm so
grateful we're able to get tickets to the Eras tour
in October. We've been counting down the days since last August.
This week, my boyfriend's brother surprised his family me included
with tickets to the tour for the week before. My
(35:40):
friend and I are going. Oh my gosh, I said
to my boyfriend, I don't think I can go, and
it has not gone over well. My boyfriend also likes
Taylor Swift, and I can understand wanting him wanting to
have the experience together, but it feels wrong one of
my best friend that I've been planning this for over
a year. Am I completely del lou side note, I
(36:01):
feel incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to see this
show twice when most people can't get tickets at all.
If I could pass along my ticket to a fellow swifty,
I wouldn't a heartbeat I love the podcast and thank
you so much for your advice.
Speaker 4 (36:15):
Here's what this.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Happened to us. To us, Yeah, I have this situation
feels familiar to me.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
It does.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Well, I wrent with Haley and then went with you
and the group that.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Were gone prior with Robbie as well, So it wasn't
necessarily this, but I do remember it.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
I do recall well, we had an issue in my
family that my youngest got invited to go with her friends,
and so my oldest freaked out, not knowing that I
was working on getting tickets from the radio station, which
I did, and so we all went together, including the
friend and her family, and so it worked out great.
But for a couple of days, Oh, it was toxic
in our house. Yeah, that was bad.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Here's my thing.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
If he knew that you had this plan with your
friend for a long time and he's still got tickets
for the week.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
After, It's like if you say to a friend that
you're gonna watch a movie together, Like let's say we're
all waiting for like the Barbie movie to come out.
We're like, we're gonna watch it together. We're gonna go together,
and then you go with someone else the week before.
That's ft. You can't go go with who anyone else
besides the friend that you got the tickets? Well, and
you're like so stoked to go together, Nick, you made
(37:23):
that like a thing. You can't go prior.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I'm team if you have a team team friend, yeah,
because I think it's so nice that your boyfriend's brother
got y'all all the tickets. But I think that you've
been planning this with your best friend, and I don't
think it would be fair. I mean, my brain is like,
go to both, but I'm assuming there's a plane ticket
or something involved where it's gonna be more money or something,
(37:47):
or it's.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
A friend saying like what the hell, bro Like we
were supposed to go together.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Before, and then if you said to Tanya, by the way,
I'm gonna go Taylor the week before, Chill I did.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
The Taylor movie. Remember, we were like, we're going to
see it, and you're like, I got the theater. I
rented out the theater for everybody and invited to the premiere.
I'm going a week before you. I was like, hmmm,
that's not nice.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
Oh I'm sorry, I did that bigger better offer.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
It was, Yeah, that's like quintessential l a dilemma and
you fell trapping. I did. I didn't stick to your friends.
I took the shiny object. I did, and it was
not nice.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
And she sat right in front of me.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
It was not nice, right in front.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
Of me with their dancer.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
To betray your friends.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
To sit in front with Taylor foot from you. Yes,
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
I shouldn't have been shocked by the fourth of July.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Oh my god, it's a full circle.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
This is so so. You're saying, ditch the fam, sick
with the BFF.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Friends wants to take her, he wants to go with her.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
I know, but sorry, I already made a commitment. I
am a woman of my word, committed to my friend
to going the two of us together for the first time.
And it's important for me to keep my word. You
want me to be loyal as in a partner, as
a partner, this is me.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Your boyfriend's gonna go without you to Taylor Swift with
his family a week before you go. Yeah, it would
kill you that night that your boyfriend's at the show
right now.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Oh yeah, would kill me.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Songs he would get.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
Oh that could be crazy.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I wonder if they could get just like an extra ticket,
squeeze the friend in for that night.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
But boyfriend's brothers seems very generous.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Yeah, my gosh, yeah, it feels like a lot of
tickets the family. Yeah, fam got it tickets. Yeah, I
would say which seat is better?
Speaker 1 (39:51):
That's actually a consideration. And that's a really good point.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
Yes, mess up. I don't co sign to that.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
Okay, So weird is about that?
Speaker 1 (40:01):
What if the brother got them tickets that are like
down close to the stage, and your tickets with your
girlfriend upper deck.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Packed with her girlfriend to do this is the Monday
by the way, that's how I yes, Monday, the Monday energy,
that's the Saturday energy.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Well Thursday talking over here that that's how we won
that with the friends is I got better tickets to
the radio station. By the way, I had to pay
for them. Now we didn't get freeviews or anything. Then
the family got family got upper deck tickets. My tickets
were down close. So week of those are the kids
and the parents set up above, And that's how it
all worked out. But that's a factor here. We cannot
(40:37):
pretend that's not a factor here.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
It's irrelevant.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I think you say to your boyfriend, I love you
so much. And this is a really, really hard and
complicated decision. But I made these plans for this concert
to go with my best friend, and we've loved Taylor
Swift forever and this is going to be like a
very special night. And I would feel bad going and
seeing the concert, you know, a week before we're supposed
to experience it for the first time together, to be annoyed,
(41:04):
and he will be annoyed, and he I hope we'll
get over it and you can give the ticket. Maybe
there's someone else in the family who would love to go.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
Yeah, this is hard. It's not that hard.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
I think it is.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
I think it is too stay loyal and true.
Speaker 4 (41:21):
I think i'd go.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Before I think I think my I also would like
to think that my best friend would be like that
is so exciting that you get to go twice.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Like I get your friend's reaction.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Because a really really solid friend would be like, that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
You get an opportunity.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Because like if you were like, oh, you get to
go and be in the same theater as Taylor Swift,
even though you're going to see it before me, that's
so epic.
Speaker 4 (41:46):
I did.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
That's what I said.
Speaker 4 (41:47):
You're holding it against me.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Well, right, but I let you go. I did not stop.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
It's more of the support of like feeling like, oh,
I my friend, like understand, like Tanya, understand, I did deal.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
I did right. If you'd just slash your tires to
stop exactly.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
But maybe maybe you have a conversation with your friend
and you say, hey, this came up. I am so
torn because like I really wanted to experience it with
fresh eyes with you, but I have this opportunity to
go with the family.
Speaker 4 (42:15):
I didn't know this was going to happen, Like.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
How do our suggestion run it by the friend if
she's really hurt?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Stayed the right things, but inside you can tell her.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Friend, yeah all right, because it was the best advice
we gave the whole show. I feel like my my
pregnance like that was good too. But that was that
was ending. That was a good end.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
That was also like piggybacking off of my combination, the
best of both, just like I took Monday and Thursday
and gave them Saturday.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
You know what I'm saying, Florida.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Is that it I think that's it.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
What a show?
Speaker 4 (42:54):
What a show? Another dear Bonya.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
And yeah, but you know how you listen to this.
If there are any suggestions that you may have to
us about, maybe guests, you would like to see, things
you would like us to talk about, maybe some in
depth like I've you know, contrary to Marx beliefs, people
are into cycle sinking. And you know, if there's some
some some topics that you would like us to hone
(43:20):
in on, let us know either DM us or send
an email to scrubbing in at iHeartMedia dot.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
Com or DM Crystal.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
You can post on the Facebook group.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
Yeah, we see it all.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
I get lost in the Facebook group a little. I
don't know how you see all those.
Speaker 4 (43:38):
Yeah, just go the page.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
I can see when people tag me and stuff, but
if they if.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
I'm not tagged, it's everything.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Please please tag me.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Give us suggestions. We love hearing from you. Love you
so much, Love you so much. Happy Thursday, Love you by.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
Sam.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Listening to us, Sam dosed off about a half an
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
3. Crime Junkie
If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people.