September 18, 2025 • 19 mins
We’re diving into the Dear Banya mailbag to help some Scrubbers with our expert-adjacent advice!
We share some prenup advice, we get deep into the weeds on LA neighborhoods, and we have some updates from Scrubbers who took our advice! How did it all go??
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Beca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Yes we are.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
She means business today she does. Oh, we have to
address something. What the videos from last week?
Speaker 3 (00:27):
So we do need to address that because we apologize.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
I apologize after eight.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Year established podcast. You should not have seen what you
saw what you saw videos.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
The lighting looked as though the sun was on us.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I look like I had just jumped into a pool
of vasoline.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
I looked. There's too many things to name.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
When the it was so bad that when I was
innocently scrolling on social media.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
And it was I literally was like, what is this?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Robbie goes You guys don't look so great?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
And that.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
My biggest cheerleader, you know what's bad? One of my
biggest cheerleaders.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Like, I mean, I always see the videos and I'm
never like wow, but I was just like, yikes, yike.
So just know that we are aware, We're not unaware
of the situation.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, and we'll do better. We will do better.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
We have a Dear Bonnie episode today where we will
do our best to give advice on those who ask,
so shall we shall we begin?
Speaker 5 (01:38):
We shall begin from mel Hi, I beca Tanya Mark
and everybody loves Eastern Wow, that's very nice. I'm about
two weeks away from my wedding and my fiance and
I are finalizing a prenup. We've been together three years.
I love his family. I understand that we're just trying
to protect themselves and their family, but since the prenup
was initiated by them, I can't help but feeling less
(01:58):
than since they come from money and I do not.
I'd be lying if I said this process has been
emotionally heavy for me. Meeting with a lawyer brought up
some tough feeling. It's hard to plan for what if
scenarios when I'm so focused on building a future with
the person I love. My fiance has been feeling uncomfortable
about it too, which makes me feel less alone in this.
But at the end of the day, I know he's
my person. I can't wait to marry him. This has
(02:20):
been weighing on me. I'd appreciate any advice or perspective
you might have as I work through it. Thank you,
Love you. Every week brightens my day. Loving scrubber, Mel.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Dang, the premum conversation is really I think it's very complicated.
My feelings on are very complicated.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I know because because I think my feelings would be
hurt if my husband fiance, let's say Robbie asked me
for a prenup. I think my feelings would be hurt.
So I understand Mel, why you're feeling this way. But
at the end of the day, it's also just a
legal document, Like there's contracts for we signed a contract
(02:58):
to sign a per a friaking net flo these days,
you know what I mean. Like, there's just contracts in
place for everything. So I feel like if you just
take your emotional brain out and just put your rational
brain in, like if in this situation, in that if
that situation happens, it's gonna create so much less fighting
at the end of it, Like you're just gonna it's
(03:19):
gonna be done, And like why not hash that all
out now while things are good, then down the road
when it's contentious and it can get nasty.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That's a good perspective, Like you sign a contract for everything,
and getting married is a contract in and of itself,
Like you sign like a license, you know, and so
I think at.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
The end of the day, I've.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Always thought of it as I agree, though, I think
especially if you're not the one with the financial.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Upper hand, upper hand. Yeah, I get where you would
feel like, oh wow, they.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Think I'm right gonna just take advantage of the situation,
like it feels like an attack on your character almost,
But I do agree, Like the emotional part makes sense.
But at the end of the day, you just never
know what's going to happen, Like you, life is so unpredictable.
No one gets married hoping that something bad is going
to happen, right, so, and.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
You never know, like the prenup like fight for fight
for what you feel is right, you know, like you
never know. Maybe I don't want to even put that
energy out there, but like he could be the one
that like cheats and messes up and then you want
but then you want to you want the prenup and
you want to you want to be gone and you
want to be protected, and you don't want to deal
with all that after you know.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, I would just make sure that you feel safe
and seen and stick up for yourself while you're negotiating
the prenup. And and also I agree, like take the
emotional part out of it and see it as something
that in the case that something bad happens, it's settled
before you have to like get into the weeds of things.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Yeah, anyone else have an opinion on this.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
I just think when his family comes from money, this
is standard, and I think they've probably been burned before
four and the generations of I'm assuming this is some
wealthy family through the generations. I don't know, but I
think it just kind of you just got to do it,
and it sucks, for sure, it sucks, but I think
it's just probably standard for their family. And I'm glad
that he's on your side in this.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Yeah that's nice.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I agree.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
Uh, the way I always thought about it was like,
it sucks to be talking about what if our marriage ends,
but the idea, but like, you know, if things go
the way they should, you won't have to deal with
this at all, you know, Like, so it just like
it doesn't matter if it exists or not, because you'll
be together, you'll die hand in hand with each other.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
I agree with you, Like it just makes things easier,
so why not.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yeah, it's just a rational girly.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
You are the one of these things.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
The seeds, the seeds, all right, next one, I'll just
summarize this real quick. She's in La. She's living in
West Hollywood with her boyfriend. They're to be moving back
to these coast in a couple of years. They're in
their young thirties. They work a lot, but they like
the West Hollywood vibe. Their friends are all there. But
she really wants to live by the beach. But that's
gonna be more expensive. They'd be farther from their friends,
and so she's trying to decide do I move to
(06:11):
the beach or not before we go back to the
East coast in a couple of years. No, no, no, Why.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
You just said it's more expensive than they're far away
from their friends.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
But I think her heart's desires to live by the beach.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Well, get a sound machine and get some beach sounds.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Here, I will say, Tanya's not. I don't find you
to be a huge beach person. So as someone who
loves the beach, use me.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I am a water sign, I belong I am a
crab that belongs in the water.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
No, you're not a La beach person, correct, Okay, So
as someone who is a La Beach person, I say
do it because if not now.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
When never?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
If not, you so expensive getting across town is so annoying.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, I think if you make that decision, you have
to know the commute's going to be. It is annoyed
when you're stuck on the west Side, especially in rush
hour traffic. It is more expensive. But I think that
when I lived in Brentwood, I loved living in Brentwood.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Because I was close to the beach.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I loved the west Side, and I thought it was
worth all those things.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
When I moved out of Brentwood, I was able to
live alone, not by the beach, and I loved it.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
But she wants to be I don't think she does.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
She also says, what La neighborhood experiences have you guys had,
and what if you loved or not loved so you
enjoyed Brentwood.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Loved Brentwood, I love the west Side.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I hate traffic, so I like being close to places
I need to be.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Well, her boyfriend wants to be near the four or
five because that's where his commute takes him.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Well, the four or five hits a lot of towns.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
I'm just saying, as long as he's near the four
or five is commute is manageable. So any of those
towns he could do.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Why not try to find somewhere where you can get
like a six month lease, but maybe wait till next
summer whenever it's the beach is going to be at
the peak season because there are or the beach is not.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
It's very dreary over there. Sometimes, how do.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
You built Long Beach? Long Beach is one of the
cheaper of the beach communities that's even further from.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Their friends in West Hollywood.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
I'm just saying, if she wants a beach experience, My
wife lived on Ocean Avenue when she first moved out here,
and it was really nice to be across the streets
from the Ocean.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
I was looking at Brentwood. You're right next to the
four or five.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
This is so funny if you're not from La listening
to this, But I would say, I would say do it,
because if you're going.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
To by the four or five, it's probably cheaper than
Brentwood Hermosa.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
From I'm just trying, we're going to see your friends
the time.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I'm trying to think of where she could live that's
close enough for their friends, but close to the beach.
Long Beach is crazy, But I support you doing this.
I think you should ask someone who loves the beach
and eventually would love to live near the beach. I
encourage you to do it because you're what are you
going to look back and be like, oh, we were
an extra, we had to drive an extra ten minutes
in traffic.
Speaker 5 (08:59):
You'll never regret living by the beach, That's what I say.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
I don't know about that.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Coming up.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
We have a couple of space. You're not going to
get that by the beach.
Speaker 5 (09:09):
They're going to get spaced on the East Coast when
they move back. No, they're not. Why not? You don't
know where they're going.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Where are you thinking they're moving?
Speaker 3 (09:19):
The East coast is in town Manhattan?
Speaker 5 (09:26):
Be tight.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I think they might have a little more space lands
North Carolina.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
I have your little beach cottage.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Now, Okay, a couple of things coming up that I
want to tease because we're professionals. Uh, we have updates
from previous DearS and a question to debate as to
whether or not to upgrade on a plane. If you
have the opportunity to upgrade, even though it means your
partner would still be back in the coach. This conversation
coming up.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
All right, we're back with some updates.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
Se Yeah, let's do this one quick first. Or from
Holly to upgrade or not to upgrade? Sore? Her siner
boyfriend are flying to Hawaii, books to flight separately because
they each had points they wanted to use. She's a
freaking flyer. She has status.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
He does not.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
Well, she checked in she had gotten upgraded, he hadn't,
so she declined the upgrade so they could sit together.
But she's wondering our thoughts. When you're traveling with the
significant other and one gets upgraded, do you keep it
and split up or do you decline and sit next
to each other by the way on the way home.
I did get upgraded. I kept it. I told him
I'd send some snacks back his way. Ha ha, Curious.
(10:44):
I think you too have the opposite of opinion on this.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Okay, here's my thought on this, because when you get status,
that means that you have put in the work to
earn that upgrade, and I think that depending on the
length of the flight, like if you get if you
can get upgraded into a laydown seat.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
I think you take Like, saying no to that.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Is crazy, crazy, I don't think so, yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
And so if Hale, like, let's say Hailey got upgraded
and I did it, I'd be like, take it. Hailey
would be more inclined because she'd rather just like sit
with me, but I would be like, either, if you
don't take it, I'm gonna take it.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
So like I predict Tani will say that she would
rather sit in the back row of coach next to
the bathroom if she's with Robbie well rather as opposed
to being offered the greatest first class laid down massage
treatment imaginable.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Let me tell you what happened.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
So I am the one my in my family that
has the status. I went on my trip to can
My work trip set me over the edge with Delta,
which is amazing because I didn't even pay for that flight.
So now I have this like amazing status. And when
we flew for that wedding, we flew to Mexico City.
We're flying on a Sunday morning at seven am, not
(11:56):
a very booked flight, right, We had seats in the
back by the backroom. But I have the status, so
we went up and because I have the status, I
was able to upgrade the both of us because because
we were on the same we were on the same ticket.
I would not first of all, and we were both upgraded.
(12:17):
They were not light down flats, but we still got
to like push our chairs back a lot.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Okay, what if only you got upgraded ticket you want it?
Speaker 5 (12:24):
That's that's what I saw. I was right.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I wouldn't one for all.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
All for one, like one of those overseas flights where
you have your own little cabin nook up there where
you can lay down and watch TV.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
And he's not with me, what's the point.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
If it's an overseas flight with a lay down.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
My thing would be I'll take half of it and
then we'll switch and you can have the lay down.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
For the other house.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
That's smart, because I do think both of us should
get to enjoy that. I just think getting upgraded with
it that experience and not taking it is just like
what's the point of having status?
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Like Hayley has what's it called TSA pre check. I
don't have it, which I know. I know it's.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Wires. The slightest effort is not you and put your
finger and you refuse.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
There's a place right here.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
You have to go to l a X you know,
go to the mall and he played an iPad.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Any Staples does this, No, I.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Went to like a store here in Burbank, somewhere right
around here. Anyways, I have clear so whatever, the same thing.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
Yeah, half an hour.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
I'll look into it.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
I did think you had to go to lax Well.
I think that's global entry, which I also need that.
Haley is both and every time she goes, I'm like, see,
I'll catch you on the other side a little bit later,
but you go. I never expect her to stay with me.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
I would. I just would never, Like I just would never,
And if Roby did, that would be very offensive to you.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
Never I'll catch you on the other side.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
I would literally be like bye. Yeah, I'm like you,
you're not waiting for me.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
You have it.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
I don't. That's my on me, So go enjoy the perks.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
I I just we did our global entry together.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
We do our tsa pre make sure we're both like
up to date on our whatever you have to do now,
because I feel like once you get it, you just
have to pay right.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
Just like renew it.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yeah, renew it, listen.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
I support both options.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
If you're someone who's like, I'm not going to take
the upgrade because I want to be with my person,
I respect it. If you're like, hey, I have a
statis for a reason and want a more comfortable experience,
take it.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
I would not take it.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I do like, oh wow, I do like what Holly
did because she didn't take it on the way there
and then on the way back she said, actually, you
know what, I'm going to take advantage of this and
I'll send you some snacks.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I don't want the snacks I want you.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah, Robbie might life having like you not staring at
him the whole time.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
He doesn't. He likes me right next, well you ask it.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
No, I know what he's going to say.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
He's too privy to your to our games games.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
He would take it or not.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
If I got it, I would not. If Allison got it,
I would insist she took.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
That's what I was thinking the same thing. I think.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
If Haley got it, I'd be like, you take it
if she had her feelings hurt about me taking it.
I would never like if if it was obvious that
she was upset that I was gonna take it. I
would never do it, yeah, but if she got it,
I'd be like, please go enjoy And she probably wouldn't,
but I would encourage her to.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
All Right, we have an update Emory. Remember Emory. Back
in March, she wrote us saying she met a guy
that's a barista at her coffee shop that she felt
super connected to. After he told his mom about her,
his mom told him he wasn't ready for a serious relationship.
It cruffed her, but she didn't think things were done
with them. She has an update for us. Do you
guys remember this? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:48):
I do remember this.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Hiat challenging time for me.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Life update from the Youre Like Really Pretty episode back
in March about the barista, Well, the barista listened to
the episode admitted he was just scared his mom was
a scapegoat. Fast forward now we've been dating six months
and I have been the most secure partnership I've ever
been in. Thank you all for the tough love, because
I don't think we would be where we are without
the podcast. Wow to all the scrubbers out there waiting
(16:14):
on your person. God has a plan and it may
not look like what you had thought out for yourself,
but everything works out in the end.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Wow, you know what, after eight years, we had some
good news.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Congrats Emery is is exciting. I love that.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
You know what I heard from that email. It was
to the podcast that we helped this relationship survive. That's
all I needed to hear.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
Another update back in May, say, I remember this one.
Tanya a WLW scrubber with a dream and almost a ring,
wrote in saying she and her girlfriend had been together
two years, looked at rings and planned to secretly order
each other's. She usually takes the lead and thought it'd
be specially for girlfriend proposed first, and then she'd lose
the chance to surprise her. She also worried about her
girlfriend's religious family, thinking she was rushing things she had
(16:59):
that she should wait or go ahead and plan her
own proposal. Do you remember this one?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Okay? She read it with an update her girlfriend beat
her to it. Little did I know? She says her
clock was ticking and I plan on proposing to her
this weekend per Mark's advice. Oh that's nice. Just wanted
to come back and let you know how much your
advice meant to me. Any insecurities I had were relieved,
since I also didn't want to tell anyone about the proposal.
I played the clip of the pod for her afterwards
(17:24):
and she was screaming, is this about us? She was like,
how on earth did you not tell me this? You
must have been freaking out. Ha ha ha, Becca, I
met you at Haley's concert in Dallas and told you
I was looking for the Haley to my Becca. Well,
I found her and now we're both engaged and the
same time as Taylor. The girls are really.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
God And she sends a really cute photo.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
That's a cute photo that.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Looks like AI.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
That photo is so cute, literally literally AI.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
That's a good engagement like photo posts to show the ring.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yes, yeah, are you thinking about your next engagement?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Well yeah, well we have talked about doing engage like
engagement photos here in LA with a photographer, So I
was just I like looking at up for photos because
when we were in my Orca trying to think about
a pose, it was.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Like, yeah, it's not easy.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Yeah, a really good job making it look easy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Also, thank y'all always for writing into us if you
ever need advice. As you can see we sometimes give.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Great apparently, I think a lot of the time.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Well, this is like confirmation we'd.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Always we should just put this like on our resume.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Resume d MS on Instagram at scrubbing in pod or
email us at scrubbing in at iHeartMedia dot com.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
We love doing these so we love you so much
about next week. We will be back on Wednesday.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
I'll be going on so little late, little late, but
a lot great.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
A little late, but a lot great. We'll see you
next week. Love you some, love you Bye,
Scrubbing In with Beca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Yes we are.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
She means business today she does. Oh, we have to
address something. What the videos from last week?
Speaker 3 (00:27):
So we do need to address that because we apologize.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
I apologize after eight.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Year established podcast. You should not have seen what you
saw what you saw videos.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
The lighting looked as though the sun was on us.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I look like I had just jumped into a pool
of vasoline.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
I looked. There's too many things to name.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
When the it was so bad that when I was
innocently scrolling on social media.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
And it was I literally was like, what is this?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Robbie goes You guys don't look so great?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
And that.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
My biggest cheerleader, you know what's bad? One of my
biggest cheerleaders.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Like, I mean, I always see the videos and I'm
never like wow, but I was just like, yikes, yike.
So just know that we are aware, We're not unaware
of the situation.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, and we'll do better. We will do better.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
We have a Dear Bonnie episode today where we will
do our best to give advice on those who ask,
so shall we shall we begin?
Speaker 5 (01:38):
We shall begin from mel Hi, I beca Tanya Mark
and everybody loves Eastern Wow, that's very nice. I'm about
two weeks away from my wedding and my fiance and
I are finalizing a prenup. We've been together three years.
I love his family. I understand that we're just trying
to protect themselves and their family, but since the prenup
was initiated by them, I can't help but feeling less
(01:58):
than since they come from money and I do not.
I'd be lying if I said this process has been
emotionally heavy for me. Meeting with a lawyer brought up
some tough feeling. It's hard to plan for what if
scenarios when I'm so focused on building a future with
the person I love. My fiance has been feeling uncomfortable
about it too, which makes me feel less alone in this.
But at the end of the day, I know he's
my person. I can't wait to marry him. This has
(02:20):
been weighing on me. I'd appreciate any advice or perspective
you might have as I work through it. Thank you,
Love you. Every week brightens my day. Loving scrubber, Mel.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Dang, the premum conversation is really I think it's very complicated.
My feelings on are very complicated.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I know because because I think my feelings would be
hurt if my husband fiance, let's say Robbie asked me
for a prenup. I think my feelings would be hurt.
So I understand Mel, why you're feeling this way. But
at the end of the day, it's also just a
legal document, Like there's contracts for we signed a contract
(02:58):
to sign a per a friaking net flo these days,
you know what I mean. Like, there's just contracts in
place for everything. So I feel like if you just
take your emotional brain out and just put your rational
brain in, like if in this situation, in that if
that situation happens, it's gonna create so much less fighting
at the end of it, Like you're just gonna it's
(03:19):
gonna be done, And like why not hash that all
out now while things are good, then down the road
when it's contentious and it can get nasty.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That's a good perspective, Like you sign a contract for everything,
and getting married is a contract in and of itself,
Like you sign like a license, you know, and so
I think at.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
The end of the day, I've.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Always thought of it as I agree, though, I think
especially if you're not the one with the financial.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Upper hand, upper hand. Yeah, I get where you would
feel like, oh wow, they.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Think I'm right gonna just take advantage of the situation,
like it feels like an attack on your character almost,
But I do agree, Like the emotional part makes sense.
But at the end of the day, you just never
know what's going to happen, Like you, life is so unpredictable.
No one gets married hoping that something bad is going
to happen, right, so, and.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
You never know, like the prenup like fight for fight
for what you feel is right, you know, like you
never know. Maybe I don't want to even put that
energy out there, but like he could be the one
that like cheats and messes up and then you want
but then you want to you want the prenup and
you want to you want to be gone and you
want to be protected, and you don't want to deal
with all that after you know.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, I would just make sure that you feel safe
and seen and stick up for yourself while you're negotiating
the prenup. And and also I agree, like take the
emotional part out of it and see it as something
that in the case that something bad happens, it's settled
before you have to like get into the weeds of things.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Yeah, anyone else have an opinion on this.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
I just think when his family comes from money, this
is standard, and I think they've probably been burned before
four and the generations of I'm assuming this is some
wealthy family through the generations. I don't know, but I
think it just kind of you just got to do it,
and it sucks, for sure, it sucks, but I think
it's just probably standard for their family. And I'm glad
that he's on your side in this.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Yeah that's nice.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I agree.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
Uh, the way I always thought about it was like,
it sucks to be talking about what if our marriage ends,
but the idea, but like, you know, if things go
the way they should, you won't have to deal with
this at all, you know, Like, so it just like
it doesn't matter if it exists or not, because you'll
be together, you'll die hand in hand with each other.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
I agree with you, Like it just makes things easier,
so why not.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yeah, it's just a rational girly.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
You are the one of these things.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
The seeds, the seeds, all right, next one, I'll just
summarize this real quick. She's in La. She's living in
West Hollywood with her boyfriend. They're to be moving back
to these coast in a couple of years. They're in
their young thirties. They work a lot, but they like
the West Hollywood vibe. Their friends are all there. But
she really wants to live by the beach. But that's
gonna be more expensive. They'd be farther from their friends,
and so she's trying to decide do I move to
(06:11):
the beach or not before we go back to the
East coast in a couple of years. No, no, no, Why.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
You just said it's more expensive than they're far away
from their friends.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
But I think her heart's desires to live by the beach.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Well, get a sound machine and get some beach sounds.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Here, I will say, Tanya's not. I don't find you
to be a huge beach person. So as someone who
loves the beach, use me.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I am a water sign, I belong I am a
crab that belongs in the water.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
No, you're not a La beach person, correct, Okay, So
as someone who is a La Beach person, I say
do it because if not now.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
When never?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
If not, you so expensive getting across town is so annoying.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, I think if you make that decision, you have
to know the commute's going to be. It is annoyed
when you're stuck on the west Side, especially in rush
hour traffic. It is more expensive. But I think that
when I lived in Brentwood, I loved living in Brentwood.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Because I was close to the beach.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I loved the west Side, and I thought it was
worth all those things.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
When I moved out of Brentwood, I was able to
live alone, not by the beach, and I loved it.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
But she wants to be I don't think she does.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
She also says, what La neighborhood experiences have you guys had,
and what if you loved or not loved so you
enjoyed Brentwood.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Loved Brentwood, I love the west Side.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I hate traffic, so I like being close to places
I need to be.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Well, her boyfriend wants to be near the four or
five because that's where his commute takes him.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Well, the four or five hits a lot of towns.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
I'm just saying, as long as he's near the four
or five is commute is manageable. So any of those
towns he could do.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Why not try to find somewhere where you can get
like a six month lease, but maybe wait till next
summer whenever it's the beach is going to be at
the peak season because there are or the beach is not.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
It's very dreary over there. Sometimes, how do.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
You built Long Beach? Long Beach is one of the
cheaper of the beach communities that's even further from.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Their friends in West Hollywood.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
I'm just saying, if she wants a beach experience, My
wife lived on Ocean Avenue when she first moved out here,
and it was really nice to be across the streets
from the Ocean.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
I was looking at Brentwood. You're right next to the
four or five.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
This is so funny if you're not from La listening
to this, But I would say, I would say do it,
because if you're going.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
To by the four or five, it's probably cheaper than
Brentwood Hermosa.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
From I'm just trying, we're going to see your friends
the time.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I'm trying to think of where she could live that's
close enough for their friends, but close to the beach.
Long Beach is crazy, But I support you doing this.
I think you should ask someone who loves the beach
and eventually would love to live near the beach. I
encourage you to do it because you're what are you
going to look back and be like, oh, we were
an extra, we had to drive an extra ten minutes
in traffic.
Speaker 5 (08:59):
You'll never regret living by the beach, That's what I say.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
I don't know about that.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Coming up.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
We have a couple of space. You're not going to
get that by the beach.
Speaker 5 (09:09):
They're going to get spaced on the East Coast when
they move back. No, they're not. Why not? You don't
know where they're going.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Where are you thinking they're moving?
Speaker 3 (09:19):
The East coast is in town Manhattan?
Speaker 5 (09:26):
Be tight.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I think they might have a little more space lands
North Carolina.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
I have your little beach cottage.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Now, Okay, a couple of things coming up that I
want to tease because we're professionals. Uh, we have updates
from previous DearS and a question to debate as to
whether or not to upgrade on a plane. If you
have the opportunity to upgrade, even though it means your
partner would still be back in the coach. This conversation
coming up.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
All right, we're back with some updates.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
Se Yeah, let's do this one quick first. Or from
Holly to upgrade or not to upgrade? Sore? Her siner
boyfriend are flying to Hawaii, books to flight separately because
they each had points they wanted to use. She's a
freaking flyer. She has status.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
He does not.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
Well, she checked in she had gotten upgraded, he hadn't,
so she declined the upgrade so they could sit together.
But she's wondering our thoughts. When you're traveling with the
significant other and one gets upgraded, do you keep it
and split up or do you decline and sit next
to each other by the way on the way home.
I did get upgraded. I kept it. I told him
I'd send some snacks back his way. Ha ha, Curious.
(10:44):
I think you too have the opposite of opinion on this.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Okay, here's my thought on this, because when you get status,
that means that you have put in the work to
earn that upgrade, and I think that depending on the
length of the flight, like if you get if you
can get upgraded into a laydown seat.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
I think you take Like, saying no to that.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Is crazy, crazy, I don't think so, yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
And so if Hale, like, let's say Hailey got upgraded
and I did it, I'd be like, take it. Hailey
would be more inclined because she'd rather just like sit
with me, but I would be like, either, if you
don't take it, I'm gonna take it.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
So like I predict Tani will say that she would
rather sit in the back row of coach next to
the bathroom if she's with Robbie well rather as opposed
to being offered the greatest first class laid down massage
treatment imaginable.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Let me tell you what happened.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
So I am the one my in my family that
has the status. I went on my trip to can
My work trip set me over the edge with Delta,
which is amazing because I didn't even pay for that flight.
So now I have this like amazing status. And when
we flew for that wedding, we flew to Mexico City.
We're flying on a Sunday morning at seven am, not
(11:56):
a very booked flight, right, We had seats in the
back by the backroom. But I have the status, so
we went up and because I have the status, I
was able to upgrade the both of us because because
we were on the same we were on the same ticket.
I would not first of all, and we were both upgraded.
(12:17):
They were not light down flats, but we still got
to like push our chairs back a lot.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Okay, what if only you got upgraded ticket you want it?
Speaker 5 (12:24):
That's that's what I saw. I was right.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I wouldn't one for all.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
All for one, like one of those overseas flights where
you have your own little cabin nook up there where
you can lay down and watch TV.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
And he's not with me, what's the point.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
If it's an overseas flight with a lay down.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
My thing would be I'll take half of it and
then we'll switch and you can have the lay down.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
For the other house.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
That's smart, because I do think both of us should
get to enjoy that. I just think getting upgraded with
it that experience and not taking it is just like
what's the point of having status?
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Like Hayley has what's it called TSA pre check. I
don't have it, which I know. I know it's.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Wires. The slightest effort is not you and put your
finger and you refuse.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
There's a place right here.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
You have to go to l a X you know,
go to the mall and he played an iPad.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Any Staples does this, No, I.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Went to like a store here in Burbank, somewhere right
around here. Anyways, I have clear so whatever, the same thing.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
Yeah, half an hour.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
I'll look into it.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
I did think you had to go to lax Well.
I think that's global entry, which I also need that.
Haley is both and every time she goes, I'm like, see,
I'll catch you on the other side a little bit later,
but you go. I never expect her to stay with me.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
I would. I just would never, Like I just would never,
And if Roby did, that would be very offensive to you.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
Never I'll catch you on the other side.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
I would literally be like bye. Yeah, I'm like you,
you're not waiting for me.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
You have it.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
I don't. That's my on me, So go enjoy the perks.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
I I just we did our global entry together.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
We do our tsa pre make sure we're both like
up to date on our whatever you have to do now,
because I feel like once you get it, you just
have to pay right.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
Just like renew it.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yeah, renew it, listen.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
I support both options.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
If you're someone who's like, I'm not going to take
the upgrade because I want to be with my person,
I respect it. If you're like, hey, I have a
statis for a reason and want a more comfortable experience,
take it.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
I would not take it.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I do like, oh wow, I do like what Holly
did because she didn't take it on the way there
and then on the way back she said, actually, you
know what, I'm going to take advantage of this and
I'll send you some snacks.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I don't want the snacks I want you.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah, Robbie might life having like you not staring at
him the whole time.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
He doesn't. He likes me right next, well you ask it.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
No, I know what he's going to say.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
He's too privy to your to our games games.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
He would take it or not.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
If I got it, I would not. If Allison got it,
I would insist she took.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
That's what I was thinking the same thing. I think.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
If Haley got it, I'd be like, you take it
if she had her feelings hurt about me taking it.
I would never like if if it was obvious that
she was upset that I was gonna take it. I
would never do it, yeah, but if she got it,
I'd be like, please go enjoy And she probably wouldn't,
but I would encourage her to.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
All Right, we have an update Emory. Remember Emory. Back
in March, she wrote us saying she met a guy
that's a barista at her coffee shop that she felt
super connected to. After he told his mom about her,
his mom told him he wasn't ready for a serious relationship.
It cruffed her, but she didn't think things were done
with them. She has an update for us. Do you
guys remember this? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:48):
I do remember this.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Hiat challenging time for me.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Life update from the Youre Like Really Pretty episode back
in March about the barista, Well, the barista listened to
the episode admitted he was just scared his mom was
a scapegoat. Fast forward now we've been dating six months
and I have been the most secure partnership I've ever
been in. Thank you all for the tough love, because
I don't think we would be where we are without
the podcast. Wow to all the scrubbers out there waiting
(16:14):
on your person. God has a plan and it may
not look like what you had thought out for yourself,
but everything works out in the end.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Wow, you know what, after eight years, we had some
good news.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Congrats Emery is is exciting. I love that.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
You know what I heard from that email. It was
to the podcast that we helped this relationship survive. That's
all I needed to hear.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
Another update back in May, say, I remember this one.
Tanya a WLW scrubber with a dream and almost a ring,
wrote in saying she and her girlfriend had been together
two years, looked at rings and planned to secretly order
each other's. She usually takes the lead and thought it'd
be specially for girlfriend proposed first, and then she'd lose
the chance to surprise her. She also worried about her
girlfriend's religious family, thinking she was rushing things she had
(16:59):
that she should wait or go ahead and plan her
own proposal. Do you remember this one?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Okay? She read it with an update her girlfriend beat
her to it. Little did I know? She says her
clock was ticking and I plan on proposing to her
this weekend per Mark's advice. Oh that's nice. Just wanted
to come back and let you know how much your
advice meant to me. Any insecurities I had were relieved,
since I also didn't want to tell anyone about the proposal.
I played the clip of the pod for her afterwards
(17:24):
and she was screaming, is this about us? She was like,
how on earth did you not tell me this? You
must have been freaking out. Ha ha ha, Becca, I
met you at Haley's concert in Dallas and told you
I was looking for the Haley to my Becca. Well,
I found her and now we're both engaged and the
same time as Taylor. The girls are really.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
God And she sends a really cute photo.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
That's a cute photo that.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Looks like AI.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
That photo is so cute, literally literally AI.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
That's a good engagement like photo posts to show the ring.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yes, yeah, are you thinking about your next engagement?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Well yeah, well we have talked about doing engage like
engagement photos here in LA with a photographer, So I
was just I like looking at up for photos because
when we were in my Orca trying to think about
a pose, it was.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Like, yeah, it's not easy.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Yeah, a really good job making it look easy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Also, thank y'all always for writing into us if you
ever need advice. As you can see we sometimes give.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Great apparently, I think a lot of the time.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Well, this is like confirmation we'd.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Always we should just put this like on our resume.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Resume d MS on Instagram at scrubbing in pod or
email us at scrubbing in at iHeartMedia dot com.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
We love doing these so we love you so much
about next week. We will be back on Wednesday.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
I'll be going on so little late, little late, but
a lot great.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
A little late, but a lot great. We'll see you
next week. Love you some, love you Bye,
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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