June 8, 2023 • 43 mins
Producer and author Devon Franklin is back in the O.R.! Your life will NEVER be the same after you hear his words of wisdom.
He shares his insight on marriage, faith, and how to achieve your goals without letting them consume you.
Plus, if you’re a fan of Flaming Hot Cheetos, you NEED to hear about his latest project!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in and we are so
excited because we did tease this Monday, but today we
are joined by an award winning producer, New York Times
best selling author and motivational speaker.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
He has made a commitment to inspire people around the
world through entertainment, and he has definitely been an inspiration
for me for many, many years.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
I love this man.
Speaker 5 (00:35):
He is a force in media and has become a
leading authority on inspiration, spiritual wellness, and personal development.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Please help us give a warm welcome too.
Speaker 5 (00:45):
Wait, let's say, please give a warm welcome back. Oh good, sorry, mart.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Please help us give a warm welcome back to Divone Franklin.
Speaker 5 (00:59):
Tanya is high energy as as I don't think he
even knows what to do with her.
Speaker 6 (01:06):
It's my sister right here. Yeah, I love it, Dearly.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I really like you have done so much for me personally,
and it's so crazy because like we're not like best
friends by any means, you know, like.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
I never I see you very rarely, but your.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Impact on my life has been so great, and so
when I know you've been on the podcast before, but
having you in studio is just like a whole different
feel because I just feel like I gained so much
from you just by like listening to you and watching you,
and so to have you here is very exciting for me.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'm excited. I'm always excited to see you and just
grateful for our connection.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Yeah yeah, me too, me too.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
You We talked to you last in twenty twenty one.
Oh wow, Yeah, so I feel like a lot has
changed in your life. You're in a different place altogether,
as we all are. That was during kind of like pandemic,
and a lot has happened since then. What's new? What's
happening in your life right now?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
You know?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I mean it's just been so busy with work, you know,
producing you know, this new movie, and started acting, which
is brand new. I never even thought about acting ever.
It was never a I mean I used to act
in like middle school plays and high school plays, but
I never thought like, oh yeah, I want to act
in a movie or a TV series. And to now
be doing that is I mean, that's probably the newest thing,
(02:27):
which you know, even now, I'm like.
Speaker 6 (02:29):
Wow, that's really cool.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, And it's just been a season of just you know,
navigating a lot of busyness and you know, working on
trying to, you know, just not be overwhelmed. Right, Like
everybody wants success, which is great, but at the same time,
you know, success requires management.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
It's not like, oh it's.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
So easy, Like no, most of the time, if you
are successful at some level, you're working even harder. And
so for me, it's just really been trying to, you know,
stay in the moment, be present, enjoy and not just
be so overwhelmed by all the things that are happening.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
What was it, Where were you or what happened when
you had a moment where you were like, I want
to act now I didn't.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
Oh I didn't. I was offered the role. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
The producers and the director of this movie called Jesus Revolution.
They came out earlier this year.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
It was very massive, huge. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yes, it's highest grossing inspirational film this year so far.
And so they came to me and they said, hey,
there's a part that we want you to play of
this reporter who works for Time magazine. And at first
I was going to say, well, I'm not an actor.
That was my first instinct, but then I was like, well, let.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
Me read the script.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I read the script and I said, oh, I kind
of like this part. It's a great story. The script's great.
So I said okay and started working with an acting
coach and really took it very seriously, and I went
to set and did what I was instructed to do
and it went.
Speaker 6 (03:50):
Well, and I was like, oh, this is good.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
And people started seeing the movie saying, oh, wow, you
look you were great. Nobody even thought like, oh, I
would have never known you never acted before. So it
was just an opportunity presented to me, as have all
the other acting opportunities I've had since then, and I
have a couple projects that will come out into this year.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
So but it is interesting because I think a lot
of time in life, people will get offered things and
you think, oh no, no, no, like that's not me, Like
that's not my box, Like this is my box and
that's not my box.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
And I think a lot of people don't have.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
The courage to step out of that and face something
that is new or scary. Right, what got you through that?
Because I thought you do that a lot in your career,
Like you are if I ask you what you are
you are an author, you are a motivational speaker, you
are a CEO, you have a production company, you're a producer,
you're an actor.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I mean, like, I mean, there's more than I'm forgetting too.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, you know, I think it requires a level of
just ignorance, you know, like, well, I'm not really aware
of what I can't do, so let me stay ignorant
to that, right, Like and then also it's like, why
would I create a la for myself that would limit myself?
So if I'm like, oh, I'm just the producer, then
(05:05):
that's cool. Like I do know how to produce. I'm
a really good producer. But if I only wear that label,
then that label can block other things that I am.
I just don't know that I am. So I just
try to live in the world a possibility like, oh
well why not, you know, And the worst thing that
happens is I do this movie and I fail, right,
all right, Well I didn't quit my day job, you know, Yeah,
but I had the experience of doing it, and in
(05:27):
that experience is growth. So no matter what, there's no
way I could lose. So just living that way of like,
you know, I don't want to be defined by anything
I do. I want to, you know, continue to explore
who I am what's possible, you know, And that's the fun.
I mean, to learn that I have this other skill
set that I didn't know I had, and to now
have opportunities to express it and explore it. That's what
(05:48):
keeps me doing it. It's like, Oh, before I became
an author, I didn't know I could write. The opportunity
was presented, you know, I said, oh, I wrote one book,
and then oh I have another an idea for this
book and this book, and now we're like six or
seven book.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Then just so that's like a whole other thing to
be really proud of, because that is truly just. But
I think that fear of failure is what really stops people.
And I feel like, but have you experienced failure in
any way? Because I feel like everything you touches.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Well no, I mean, you know, look, I think we
have to then evaluate what is our definition of failure, right,
because failure traditionally indicates that the result that I wanted
I didn't get. So then the emotions around that usually
reveal a level of attachment to a result that probably
(06:39):
was unhealthy. Right, So if I'm feeling like I failed. Okay,
well how did you fail? Well, you had a goal,
you didn't hit it. Well, what did you learn? Oh well,
here's what I learned. How did you grow? Well, here's
how I grew. Did you fail? So when I think
of failure, you know, I look at it through the
(06:59):
lens of you know, have I had things that didn't
go the way I wanted?
Speaker 6 (07:03):
Sure, but I'm glad that that happened. You know.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Not every movie I've worked on has been you know,
super successful. Not every book that I've written, you know,
has been a New York Times bestseller at all. But
then I have to say, Okay, if I'm creating a
false definition of success as well as a false definition
of failure, then I'm always going to be subject to
those definitions. Yeah, instead of allowing the result is what
the result is? Like learning to be a I mean
(07:29):
passionate enough to be able to write it or produce
it or act in it, but detached from the result, like,
you know, whatever that does?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
How do you do that?
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Though?
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I think that's been what's your quote that you always say, No,
it's open to the possibility, not attached to the outcome.
And I think that can make you live a very healthy,
happy life.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
But I don't know how to do that.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
I am attached to every single outcome. And actually it's
funny you bring up the New York Times bestseller because
when we put out the book, I was so attached
to that outcome, and when it didn't happen, I felt
like the book was a failure and it was right.
It like broke my heart because I was I spent
so much time and effort and energy in it, and
to me it felt like a failure. And that was
really hard for me to deal with, like I couldn't
(08:09):
wrap my head around it. So how do you stay
attached to the outcome?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yes, and I've been there before, right, So anything I'm
talking about is because I've been there. So I've been
there when in terms of you know, the books and
you know, wanting the sales and wanting the list and
not happening multiple times, and to your point, feeling like,
oh I failed, and and what has helped me get
out of that is there's probably not one place I
(08:37):
go where someone doesn't come up to me and say,
I have one of your books and it helped me,
and thank you for what you're doing. And you know
I mean, And so then I say, Okay, the New
York Times list is an arbitrary list.
Speaker 6 (08:52):
It's cool, great if we hit it. Cool, I'm not.
I'm not knocking it.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
But like, you could hit the New York Times best
seller's list for a variety of reasons and not to anybody.
So is this about lives, This about changing lives with
the message that we've been given, or is it about
an arbitrary, you know, artificial system that's supposed to make
us feel more accomplished than we are. Right, a New
York Times bestseller does not make the words any different.
(09:16):
It's the same words, it's the same book, it's the
same process. So again, like if it happens, cool, wonderful.
But at the end of the day, it's about the
shift of perspective. It's about the people, right, Like I
wrote this book to change people's hearts and minds, to
put something positive in the world. And I got to
work on being you know, detached and agnostic about how
(09:36):
that happens. Because the more attached I am, then what
happens is what you've experienced, what I've experienced negative emotion. Right,
I did not hit the New York Times Bestsellers list.
I am a failure on some level, or I'm not
as successful as I thought. Where who's the arbiter of that?
Who determines that we do? So we create this false
(09:57):
narrative in our own life, we judge ourselves by it,
and then what's a perfectly amazing book becomes a book
that's not so good.
Speaker 6 (10:04):
Yeah, it's all here, it's all in our mind.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
It has nothing to do with reality. Anybody that picks
up the book is going to get so much out
of it. I know I got a lot out of it.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
You know.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
There's so much in the book that I think is
life changing and perspective changing and shifting. So it's really
about saying, Okay, what are the things here that I
can focus on that will keep me in a positive emotion,
in a positive mental state, and let me work on
releasing anything that will not Yeah. Right, so, and I'm
not even saying the next book, Sure, work towards the list,
(10:34):
no problem. But do it from a place of joy, right,
do it from a place of this is exciting, you know,
and great. And what I learned is, oh, these are
the things that have to be done and truth be
told most of the.
Speaker 6 (10:44):
Time hitting the list.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Beyond the type of press that has done for a book,
A lot of has to just do with the.
Speaker 6 (10:51):
Number of people that you're reaching.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
So if you're reaching a number of people, you know
in advance or timed right around release, you know, it
gives you a better chance to be acknowledged. So it's like, Okay,
let me focus on the people. How can I get
to people? How can I sell this message to people?
And then let's see what's meant to be. And just
like a seed, every seed's different. Some books are not
meant to do that and other books will. So it's hard.
(11:14):
I get it. I totally get it. You're absolutely right.
It's the work that I'm doing so that I don't
take myself to a negative place that I don't have to.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I will say though that experience, I remember I faced
one of my facts. I was fearing rejection asking you
to endorse the book, Like I was, like, I didn't
want to ask you because they were talking about who
do you want to endorse it? And they were saying,
is there somebody in the book space that you really admire?
And like you were the first name that came to mind.
But I was like, we're not really like close friends,
so I'm scared. I don't want to ask him, like
(12:03):
and just was scared you were going to say no
or like ignore the message or whatever. And then when
you said yes, I was like, wow, Like why do
I not do things that made me like a little
bit nervous, you know, like I always do. I stay
very in my comfort zone. I never stepped out of it.
And that was something that like I stepped out of
it for and it really was like paid off in
such a beautiful way, Like it made me feel so
good and supported and like I don't know, so that
(12:24):
was like a big moment for me that you're part of.
Speaker 6 (12:27):
Yeah, and I know, why not thinking of me?
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Oh yeah, it was no problem And the book was great,
and you know, I was happy to support it in any.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Way I could. And you're working on another book too.
Speaker 6 (12:39):
I'm working on another book.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Can you tell us a little bit about Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
The book is called One of One and it's basically
the true meaning behind being single? Uh, and it's ironic,
Like I didn't know what it meant to be single
until I came single again after divorce, crazy, and then
what I realized is that we're all single, no matter
of your relationship stat because we're all individuals and a
(13:03):
couple is only as strong as the two singles that
make up the couple. And so often we don't actually
focus on who we are as an individual and harness
the power of that, because we spend so much time
looking for a relationship and then we get into a couple.
But because we don't know how to be a good single,
we don't know how to be one with ourselves. How
can we be one with someone else? And then we
(13:24):
overburdened the relationship.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
You're definitely preaching to the choir here because when's this book.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Yeah, when this is coming out.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm working on it now, it'll be I'm open, like
in the first quarter next year.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
That's yeah, Yes, tell us more.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
What have you learned in this new era?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Please? Oh man, No, I've learned so much because I mean,
you were married for year decade and so I feel
like that. You know, we were talking about how when
you you do become dependent on another person in a
weird way, just natural happens when you're with somebody for
several years. Yes, but you can't lose yourself in that.
(14:06):
And sometimes it's sometimes it's easier and sometimes it's harder.
And I feel like, is that what you learned after
your divorce?
Speaker 6 (14:12):
Well?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
In part, you know, in part it's like, okay, you
know if I focus on it being being.
Speaker 6 (14:18):
An individual, right, Well, what does it mean for me
to be an individual? You know?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Am I loving to myself? Do I care for myself?
Do I keep space for myself? Do I give grace
to myself? So what in my experience what happens is
a lot of times we're waiting to be with someone
to do those things.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Oh my gosh, it's like he's speaking, keep going and
keep going, keep going.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
So what happens is that when we don't become the
number one generator of grace and space and love and
happiness and joy for ourself, we then overburden.
Speaker 6 (14:54):
The relationship to do something it's not designed to.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Do because somebody, even if they don't, they can't articulate it.
If you carry an energy in your relationship that you
need this person to be your source of happiness, you
need this person to be your source of joy, You
need this person to be your source of recreation, entertainment,
they are going to reject you subconsciously because all of
(15:18):
us know that's not how we're set up. I'm not
set up to be somebody else's source. Yeah, I'm not
set up to be your No, no, no, I can.
I can make a contribution to your happiness, but I don't.
Don't expect me to make you happy every day, because
I guarantee there gonna be many days I'll make you sad.
So this idea of being one of one, you got
a hilarious.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
I know, well, because we're I mean we're I think
we're in.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
A season of life that you're really speaking to right now.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, Well for me, it's like, okay,
knowing that I'm one of one, Oh great, Okay, that
means I'm rare. It means I'm valuable. It means that
I'm not defined by who I'm with. I'm defined by
the fact that I was bold, that I'm in this
earth and I'm doing I'm a unique individual and that's
important because in a relationship, there's a tendency to give
(16:07):
up that individuality. And I believe that this is why
so many relationships don't work, and that's why people are
so happy unhappy is because they are not themselves. If
this is the irony you get with somebody, whether it's
in a relationship or marriage, and they become the person
you're less truthful with. You tell the people outside of
the relationship all the stuff that you wish you could
tell your partner.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
That makes that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
And then we wonder why relationships don't work because we
are not being ourselves and we're not harnessing the power
of what it means to be one of one, to
be an individual, to have an individual way of thinking.
And then I bring that to the relationship. A great
relationship will enhance individuality. It won't cause individuality to be diminished.
And that's something that I did not know before getting,
(16:50):
you know, married. Right before I was married, I thought like, oh,
similar to what everybody thinks. Oh, you know, you find
love and then that's when life happens. And I did
find love and life was great. But when I bought
into the myth that the relationship or the marriage was
going to make me happier yeah than when I was uncoupled,
(17:10):
that myth was very destructive because it wasn't true. And
this is the bill of goods we sell. Everybody get
into a relationship, fine, love, find marriage, it's the answer.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Yeah, it's the fairy tale.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
It's the fairy tale. And we had people squandering the
period of time when they're uncoupled looking for somebody, when
really you should be looking for yourself. Who am I,
What do I want? What are my experiences? What do
I like?
Speaker 6 (17:34):
What don't I like?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
So, then when I'm in a relationship, what happens is
if I know if I have a stronger sense of self, right,
because every relationship can teach us more about ourselves. But
let's say have a strong sense of self and I
have grace for myself, and I have space for myself,
I'm gonna have space for my partner. I'm gonna have
grace for my partner. If I have a short temper
with me, I'm gonna have a short temper with them.
If I don't really like me, I'm gonna have a
(17:57):
problem with them. I'm gonna find fault with them. Right,
anything that I'm pointing the finger out usually is a
mirror for something I'm not feeling inside. So this idea
of being one of one and say, okay, even if
I'm in a relationship, I'm a single, what makes me
a good single? What do I need to do in
my life to be the best single I can be?
And then how do I share that with someone instead
(18:19):
of demanding Because here's what happens. We demand that people perform.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Oh my gosh, well in a.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Relationship, you better do this right or well, why does
doing that matter so much? I'm not saying that you
should negotiate in a relationship? What makes you all one?
What makes the relationship work?
Speaker 6 (18:36):
Talk about it?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
But so often because we're not doing the work on
the inside, we're not figuring out what's going on in us.
Speaker 6 (18:43):
We point to the person.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
As the problem and the danger there is. You point
to the person as a problem, you break up with
that person, but the real problem never gets solved. Yeah,
and the real problem was us. So then we take
the same problem to the next relationship. Keep pointing the finger.
This ain't right.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
Get out.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Take the next problem to the same You see how
crazy it is, and we have all this heartbreak that
we didn't need to have, right, because it starts with like, okay, well,
why is this issue a problem to begin with? Why
am I attracting an unhealthy person to be continuously because
there's something in me that's unhealthy that's not being addressed.
So this is the you know again, I don't mean
to go on a dangier.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
But this is what the new book is going to be.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
About, one of one, you know, really knowing what it
means to be single and finding the purpose and the
power and the piece of it.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
Has there been struggling that for you? I mean being
with someone for tenure?
Speaker 4 (19:31):
I mean that's such a you.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Know, from your perspective now, like you have this really
amazing perspective on it.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
But it's like we get.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Pain is the greatest teacher. Yeah, right, so pain is
the greatest teacher. So I couldn't even begin to articulate
or wrap my head around these concepts without going through
deep pain, you know, not being married and and you know,
I mean, I want to say losing my wife, but
you know, having a life transition and going through divorce
that's the most painful experience in life. And I certainly
(20:02):
would never prescribe it to anyone at all. And so
for me, instead of coming out of the divorce and
the relationship and pointing the finger, I wanted to say, Okay,
well what was my part in this? You know, what
do I need to know more about me, not from
a judgmental standpoint, just from a like life like, hey,
who am I?
Speaker 6 (20:22):
What did I learn? How did I get here?
Speaker 1 (20:24):
And so from that work and you know, working with
a therapist and working with life coaches and journaling and
writing and reading the scripture and all of that, that's
what started me to get clearer on you know, where
I went wrong and how I can help others and
use the pain that I've been through in a positive
way to help others, you know, navigate relationships as I
(20:46):
do too, you know, and it's not easy, right, like,
but I feel like it's for me the idea that
I could use something difficult that I've been through to
help somebody else, it then gives it more purpose. So
it really was the pain of going through this and
then doing.
Speaker 6 (21:05):
It publicly, you know, that's that's a people people.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Everybody wants a spotlight, but the spotlight that illuminates also burns.
Speaker 6 (21:18):
It's the truth.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
And so you know, I can't choose to go through
it privately. Everybody in the world knows. So yeah, that
pain of that is what has produced a lot of
these thoughts in this clarity around and also for me personally,
it's like, you know, whenever I do get married again,
you know I can do it from I think, a
a stronger emotional place, with a greater perspective on what
(21:41):
the marriage needs or the relationship needs and and what
it doesn't uh, and do my best to not overburden
it with things that it was never designed to do.
Speaker 6 (21:50):
You know, no one can heal us. We can heal ourselves.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
And that's such a beautiful place to be into. I
always find it so uh, I don't know what the
word is. It's so off putting when people go through
a divorce and they are like that person sucked and
they sucked and I hate this person. It's like you
were married to this person for so long. And also
like take accountability for you know it is it's a
relationship is two people. It's two people that cannot make
(22:15):
a relationship work. It's not one person's fault. And so
I think when you hear people come out of like
a divorce and they're pointing the finger and bashing the
other person, I find it to be so like you said,
like it's like that's not you taking any accountability for it.
It's such like a it's nice to hear you say
that from your perspective, My boyfriend was the same way.
He was divorced, and he had that same perspective of
(22:37):
when he went through it. Obviously everything's different and the
circumstances were I'm sure different, but it was like, what
did I attribute? What did I learn from this? And
how can I grow moving forward in my next relationship
and when I do get married to not allow that
to happen again?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Yes, yes, yes, And you know, I mean I hope
that we take that, you know, I hope that we
take the time, yeah, to do some introspection and do
some thinking of like, Okay, well what can I do
to do better? What can I learn from this? Because
the pointing the finger, it's an easy it's easy placing
blame is it's a very it's low hanging fruit.
Speaker 6 (23:14):
Yeah, but to.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Look inwardly that requires courage and uh, but that's where
the answers always are.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about this book.
I do want to say everybody listening, if you have
not read any of Devon's books, they are all so
fantastic and I always learned something and grow from every
single one of them.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
So I'm really excited for the new one.
Speaker 6 (23:38):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (23:38):
Yeah, I wanted to talk about the weight because I
knew that was a big That.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
One was huge for me. Yes, you like changing, Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:46):
Your views on celibacy, that was you you with your
ex correct?
Speaker 6 (23:52):
Correct?
Speaker 5 (23:52):
And how long were y' all dating? Were you choose?
Speaker 6 (23:54):
We dated for almost a year.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Okay, and that was the choice that y'all made to wait,
do you still have the same views on celibacy?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
You know, I believe that that book in Celibacy is
absolutely a valuable tool, without a doubt what I learned
from and also when you go back and look at
the book, the idea behind delayed gratification, it's like, man,
if we can get that, like, I think life would
be so much better. Here's what I've learned. The error
(24:22):
of my ways in that regard was bringing the public
into my sex life. So going forward, I said, you know,
y'all got my sex life. Hey, you read about it
this new chapter, Divin I ain't talking about it because
the same way, you can't invite the public in when
you want them and keep them out when you don't.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yeah. So she went through the same exact.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
I went on the Bachelor, and I was a virgin
at the.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
Time, and it's like her thing. It was like back
in the.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
Virgin But I didn't My plan wasn't to talk about
being a virgin. But I said it in like without
remember that I had a mic and seven cameras on me,
you know, like I said it in a very like
trying to comfort a friend like she was a virgin.
I was like, oh, me too. And then I was like,
oh my gosh, my whole storyline on the show has changed, right,
And so I had this you know, it's kind of
(25:13):
this thing where I was like, Hey, this is something
I'm very proud of. I'm not gonna you know, I
don't want anyone who's watching who's also a virgin or
choosing to wait, to feel shame. But it wasn't my
plan to have that part of my life so public.
And so then it was like people felt comfortable coming
up to me and being like to my face, like
are you still a virgin? And so.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Who were you to ask me that you.
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Business?
Speaker 5 (25:41):
But it was the same thing. It's like it gave
people this idea that they had the right to know
this information about me. So when I lost my virginity,
I felt this enormous weight of like I've let everyone down.
You know. It was this like weird thing that.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I felt like so sad because it was that was
her first reaction after She was like, I remember you
called me and you were like everyone's going to be
so let down. And I was like, why are you
thinking about that right now? There's a big life moment
for you. That's all she could think about.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
It was the same thing. So I was curious if yeah,
that makes perfect sense that you're like, wow, I left
everyone in And then I wanted to be like, you
don't deserve that, like, don'tshing about it.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
And it was, you know, it was well meaning you like,
you know, and again, the book is great, there's no
I love the book, you know, and love everything that
we put into that book, and you know, think that
message is powerful and that the message works.
Speaker 6 (26:32):
But in terms of like you know, how I navigate
you know, these areas, it's like, yo, I got to
learn the lesson and this is I got to keep
it to me.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yeah, you know, but I will tell you just as
somebody that read the book and was in a season
of life where I was in this perpetual pattern of
pain because I was giving my body before I was
getting the the the relationship or the attachment that I
that I wanted. The book really was good for me
(27:02):
as somebody to learn these tools and realize, like, obviously
what I'm doing is hurting is like hurting me, so
I need to do something different. And when I pivoted that,
my dating life completely shifted. And it was like I
put that as kind of like a no, like I'm
not doing this until I'm in a committed, serious relationship.
And it really changed the dating game for me in
(27:22):
such a big way. Like I wasn't crying all the
time like I was. I'd be bombed if things didn't
work out, but I wasn't in this like perpetual pattern
of pain. So I think the book is really amazing
for you know, people going through different seasons of life
and can can relate it in different ways.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
And it's interesting because even as you articulate it, you
know that what you just said goes directly to one
of one. So when I know my value and I
know my worth that I make different decisions. Yeah, So
what you're saying is like, look, sex was ultimately at
some point getting in the way of my decision making process, right,
(27:59):
And I had to say, I'm going to wait for
sex until I feel the value that I need to
feel from the person that I'm going to ultimately share
that with. Yeah, And until i feel that value, I'm waiting. Yeah,
and I'm not going to do it. That's what it
means to we want to want. It means to know
your value, know your worth, and make decisions based on that.
Speaker 5 (28:19):
I'm really looking forward to that forward to release.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
You know what else I'm looking forward to?
Speaker 5 (28:25):
Should we take a break?
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Oh, take a break, I'll come right back. All right,
we are back.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
Did you want to take the lead?
Speaker 3 (28:48):
I wanted to take the lead because I know that
this this movie that is coming out very shortly, This
has been in the works for seven years, flaming Hot,
and I want to know.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
So you produced it?
Speaker 6 (28:59):
Yes? I did?
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Ye? Yes?
Speaker 6 (29:00):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (29:00):
How because I watched the trailer. I haven't seen the
movie yet, it's not out yet, right, Why was this
something that you really wanted to make? And talk about?
Why movies that take so long?
Speaker 6 (29:11):
Like?
Speaker 4 (29:12):
How did it take seven years to make this movie?
Speaker 6 (29:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
You know, this is a movie that from the moment
that I heard the story, I was like, I've got
to make this movie. I had a mutual friend introduced
me to Richard Montagnez and the Flameing Hot movie is
based upon Richard's story. And he came in and with
his wife Judy, and I said, just tell me your story.
And so we sat there in my production office and
you know, met for about an hour or so, and
(29:35):
he walked me through his story, and by the end
of that meeting, I just said, I got to do it.
I said, yes, I'll get Yes, I'll make your story
into a movie if you would give me the opportunity.
Speaker 6 (29:45):
And he said yes.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
And I didn't have a studio at that point in time.
I didn't know i'd have a writer. I didn't even
know that, you know, if it was going to happen.
But I just felt compelled. I said, Wow, this story
is too unique, it's too inspiring, it's too motivational for
me to say no. So I gave him a yes
in that meeting, and you know, began the process of
getting the movie made.
Speaker 6 (30:05):
And movies, you know, tend to there. It's not like music.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
You know, you can go into the studio and in
ten minutes have a song, whereas with movies you know,
it's labor intensive to tell these stories, and from a
motion picture standpoint, and all that goes into production and
casting and locations and script development. I mean, there's just
a lot more factors to create a high quality movie
(30:30):
and a lot more people that have to be involved.
So that's part of the reason why it takes so long.
And so in the case of Flaming Hot, I found
a writer, we developed a pitch, we sold the pitch,
and then we worked on it for probably two years
that script, and then we were able to go out
to directors, and that's where I met Eva Longoria and
she came in to pitch herself as a director, and
(30:52):
I liked what she had to say and thought that
she was the director, and then hired her to direct.
We hired a new writer to do the rewrite, and
then that took another two years and some change. And
then while that was all happening, COVID hit.
Speaker 5 (31:07):
Right.
Speaker 6 (31:07):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
All these things were really really challenging, and going back
like once I met Richard, meeting Richard, getting a writer
on board and developing the pitch took time too.
Speaker 6 (31:20):
You know, we had to.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Spend some hours figuring out like you know, I mean,
not even hours months figuring out what's the movie story here? Like, Okay,
I know your life story, but how do I create
a movie out of that? So all these factors contribute
to why it takes so long for a movie to
get made. But I'm grateful that, you know, I gave
Richard my word and I was successful in getting his
movie made. And now it's about to come to the
(31:43):
world and it's on Disney Plus and Hulu, and you know,
and that's and it's amazing that this is the first
movie in the history of Disney that this is that's
going out on both US streaming platforms.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
I was gonna say that just happened, right, yes.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, yep, it just happened a little while ago. So
it's amazing. You know, they saw the movie and thought
that this was perfect film for both platforms.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
Oh that's really cool. I think it's such a testament
to be able to keep your word on something. I mean,
that's a long time in this industry to hold something
and be able to produce, like have something to be
like I told you, I know seven years ago.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I know, I mean, you know, but I take that seriously.
I really take it seriously. For me, it's a movie,
but for them it's their life. Yeah, so you know,
I take it seriously. And I really wanted to get
this done because I think the story. I mean, he
started as.
Speaker 6 (32:32):
A janitor's working like crazy and.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
You know, cleaning the plant in ranchal Cucamonga, and the
plant was losing jobs and he wanted to save jobs.
And he just felt like the company was not appealing
to his community because he is this he is the
son of a Mexican immigrant and he's like, you know,
the company is not appealing to the Mexican American community
because there's no spicy product. And he was like, look,
(32:56):
you know, I want to take this spicy product and
market it to my community because I think it's going
to work. And they gave him the opportunity to do that,
and what we now know as the success of Flame
and Hot Cheetos came to be, and not just Cheeto's,
but Dorito's and the.
Speaker 6 (33:08):
Whole Flame of Hot brand.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeah, and that catapulted him from being you know, the
janitor to becoming one of the topic executives at the company.
And that is just a powerful American story that I
was I said, we got to make this movie.
Speaker 6 (33:21):
You got to make the movie. How do you do?
Speaker 1 (33:23):
That kind of remind me of Pursuit of Happiness, Yeah,
which I had the pleasure of working on as an
executive when I was working for Sony. So this is
the first movie I've been trying to redo Pursuit of
Happiness forever, and this is the first movie that I
have found where I think we got close.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
I do think that there's something in these stories that
are very inspirational and motivational in the sense that you
don't have to like I think that there's this misconception
of like you have to, you know, go to the
best schools, and you have to go to the best
things to get into the best jobs and be in
front of the best companies. And it's like he was
a janitor at this place. Yes, he didn't even have
(34:00):
a seat at the table, and he like made a
seat for himself, you know. And I obviously don't know
how the story unfolds, because I haven't seen it yet,
but there is so much power in that because I
think that a lot of time we can feel really
helpless where we are, and if you have the passion,
you have the drive, and you believe in yourself.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
You really can get there.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Oh yeah, no, I mean absolutely. I mean it's anybody
watching this movie can take something away for their own
life in terms of perseverance and tenacity. And also, Richard
didn't set out to create a billion dollar brand, you know,
he didn't set out to create you know, what we
now know is flameing hot.
Speaker 6 (34:37):
That wasn't his goal. His goal was to create jobs,
save jobs.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
You know, the plant workers, the people I'm working next to,
their losing their jobs, families are suffering.
Speaker 6 (34:47):
I want to do something about that. That's service.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
And I think so often, you know, especially you know
in La, there's just this addiction to dream chasing, you know,
versus like, Okay, yeah I have a dream, But how
can I be a certain of us?
Speaker 6 (35:00):
How can I help somebody so true you know along
the way? How can I do that?
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Because at the end of the day, most people that
end up changing this world are not setting out to
change the world. They're just setting out to help somebody
so true, And I think this movie really shows the
power of that.
Speaker 5 (35:17):
Yeah, it's like looking at the bigger picture outside of yourself. Yes, always, absolutely,
which is hard.
Speaker 6 (35:23):
It's hard, it's hard.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
But like if Richard was trying to go out there
and create flaming hot Cheetos and billion dollar brand, we
wouldn't be talking about it right now. So true, but
his heart was I want to save jobs. I want
to give back to the place that's given so.
Speaker 6 (35:37):
Much to me.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
It's just so counterculture to what it is now.
Speaker 6 (35:41):
I know, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
I know it's so opposite of what the society is
that we're living in.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
I know, I know, But that's why I think. You know,
I've screened this film, you know, with audiences all around
the country already, and people I mean of all races, ages,
you know, genders, I mean, they are loving this movie.
I think because they do relate to it, like because
the culture is so counter culture at this moment that
this movie is cutting through and resonating with people in
(36:11):
a way that is really gratifying and surprising. And I'm
excited to see how it does once the debut is
on Hulu and Day's Disney.
Speaker 5 (36:20):
Plus, I'm so excited to see it.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
Yeah, I'm really excited to see it too.
Speaker 5 (36:24):
June ninth, which it'll be the day after this podcaster.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, So if you listen to this. You
could probably watch it at this point.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Love that, Yes, streaming right now. Get a bag of
flaming hot Cheetos.
Speaker 5 (36:37):
That's all ideal.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
But I feel like you do that too. You know,
you have so much going on. I don't I don't
even want to know what your calendar looks like in
a day like truly, But I feel like you still
go and you still preach at churches, and you still
make time to yeah, to do all that. And I
think that is also a testament to who you are too,
because I think you can be doing the same thing
like how can I build my dream and chase my
dream and do this? But you also have this aspect
(37:00):
of you that really wants to serve and give back
to other people.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Man, Yeah, no, it's important. It's important. I mean, I
wouldn't be here if that wasn't the case. You know,
it's really about that. Yeah, going back to you know,
even the conversation about the book and not you know,
making the list. You know, okay, but you touch lives, yeah,
you know. Yeah, you improve people's point of view and perspective.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
We heard from so many mothers and daughters that were
doing the devotional together, which was really really really cool
and special, which is why we did it.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
You know.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
It was like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's just
you know, it's like at the end of the movie,
Richard has a line about not letting anyone, you know,
steal his story, you know, and taking ownership of it,
and and I resonate with that, like, you know, let's
not let these arbitrary things like a list steal our story. Yeah,
it's a great story. We've got a book made.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
Yeah, that's huge.
Speaker 5 (37:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Like you're an author, You're eternal. When I first became
an author, my buddy was like, who's who was an author?
He said, now you're eternal. You know, I hear your
words will be around.
Speaker 4 (37:58):
For everything, So that I never thought that cool perspective.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
What actually, you know, because you do have so many
things going on, what do you want your story to be?
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Like where does DeVaughn go from here?
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (38:12):
You know, man, what Captain Kirk said, boldly go with
no man has gone before. So you know, I'm trying
to just live in the fullness of my gifts and
and uh, you know, I love entertainment, so you know,
continuing to act and produce and write books and maybe
direct one day and continue to preach and you know,
just just continue to be me and do all that
(38:35):
I'm gifted to do and keep challenging myself, you know,
take it to the next level. See what can happen
with the still the same goal of you know, uplifting
people along the way and providing information, inspiration, hope and help.
Those are things that no matter what I do, I'm
passionate about those things. But what it's all going to
look like? I truly have no idea.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
Do you take time for yourself?
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (38:56):
Yeah, you really sure have to take time?
Speaker 4 (38:59):
Like like what energizer, Bunny? You just keep going?
Speaker 1 (39:02):
No, I know I do, but I you know, I
do it because I have a very you know, strong regimen.
You know, I work out in the mornings. I have
supplements and things that I take. I take off the Sabbath,
so Friday night send down, a Saturday, I send out.
I don't work, turn off my email, don't check social media.
Speaker 6 (39:17):
You know.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
So I do have a lot of, you know, things
in place to help me stay where I need to
stay mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Speaker 5 (39:25):
Yeah. I think that I was going to ask that too,
like what do you do to come back when you're
giving so much to people. So I think it's I
think sometimes our society and structure is like you grind, grind, grind,
and don't take any time for yourself.
Speaker 6 (39:37):
So you have to, Yeah, you have to.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
I don't even like that a concept of grinding, like
you know, like if you grind your teeth, it's a
problem then down.
Speaker 5 (39:48):
Yeah, Like you go to different countries and they have
like scheduled nap times in the middle of that, I'm like,
we're not doing it right over here.
Speaker 6 (39:54):
I don't know, so true. So no, yeah, I definitely.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
You know, I'm busy and I have seasons, you know,
like this when I'm out promoting the film, which are
busier than usual. But you know, I still try to
find the time, you know, you know, and also even
through all the staying in therapy, staying in life coaching,
you know, still taking time to journal and read and pray.
All those things are are essential no matter how busy
(40:19):
I get.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
Yeah, but they're easy to yeah, not put in the schedule.
Speaker 6 (40:23):
They're easy. It's easy.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
But like no, I'm like, no, no, no, I'm going
to find an hour for my therapy session, an hour
for my life coaching.
Speaker 6 (40:29):
We'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
But those are the things that help because having an
outlet to express and explore what's going on inside of
me consistently, I've learned that that's really helpful to manage
all that's that I that I'm tasked with doing.
Speaker 5 (40:45):
Yeah, I think when you find the importance in those
things like therapy and stuff, you're like, I will make
time where I need to make time makes the biggest difference.
It does how I'm able to give to other people.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
Do you work out seven days a week? In questions, Well,
six days a week.
Speaker 6 (41:03):
It just depends.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
I mean, you know, I'll take a like today, I didn't,
I've worked out this morning. I'll probably work out tonight.
But I try to do some movement every day as
best I can, you know. So I will go between
like rumble boxing and uh hot yoga and the studio
climber class here in LA like the things.
Speaker 6 (41:22):
Yeah, I'll do that.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Then I'll like sometimes jump rope at the house or
work out with this axe that's called like chop fit,
which you know, it's pretty cool.
Speaker 5 (41:33):
Whoa you know, the TikTok it's always like chopping, So I.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Just mix it up yeah, but I try to do
some movement every day every day because it just first
of all, just helps me mentally. Yeah, Like if I
usually don't work out in the morning, I feel a
little groggy. Yeah, but if even if I just do
fifteen minutes a jump rope, I'm like, Okay, my blood flalling.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
It's a long time to jump rope. Let me tell you.
Speaker 5 (41:56):
I can.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
List.
Speaker 6 (42:02):
I've set the clock to fifteen minutes. And you know, wow, man.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
You're just you really are always inspiring me, motivating me.
You are somebody that I really really look up to
and admire in many ways. So just always rooting for
you and all your projects. I really I hope Flaming
Hawk goes to number one and.
Speaker 5 (42:22):
Stream streaming services, yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Just all over the place, and that they you make
another I don't even whatever you wanted to. Hope everything
that you do turns out successful because I really I
believe in what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
Thank you so much. I really appreciate I believe with
both of you all. Grateful always for the time to
be able to talk and you know connect.
Speaker 5 (42:41):
Yeah, thank you for coming and scrubbing it in.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
Studio, studio, and please when the when one of one
comes out, Please come back because we could do oh no, yeah,
we can.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
Do a whole series on that little series on that one.
Speaker 6 (42:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (42:55):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 6 (42:56):
Welcome, thank you.
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in and we are so
excited because we did tease this Monday, but today we
are joined by an award winning producer, New York Times
best selling author and motivational speaker.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
He has made a commitment to inspire people around the
world through entertainment, and he has definitely been an inspiration
for me for many, many years.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
I love this man.
Speaker 5 (00:35):
He is a force in media and has become a
leading authority on inspiration, spiritual wellness, and personal development.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Please help us give a warm welcome too.
Speaker 5 (00:45):
Wait, let's say, please give a warm welcome back. Oh good, sorry, mart.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Please help us give a warm welcome back to Divone Franklin.
Speaker 5 (00:59):
Tanya is high energy as as I don't think he
even knows what to do with her.
Speaker 6 (01:06):
It's my sister right here. Yeah, I love it, Dearly.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I really like you have done so much for me personally,
and it's so crazy because like we're not like best
friends by any means, you know, like.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
I never I see you very rarely, but your.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Impact on my life has been so great, and so
when I know you've been on the podcast before, but
having you in studio is just like a whole different
feel because I just feel like I gained so much
from you just by like listening to you and watching you,
and so to have you here is very exciting for me.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'm excited. I'm always excited to see you and just
grateful for our connection.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Yeah yeah, me too, me too.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
You We talked to you last in twenty twenty one.
Oh wow, Yeah, so I feel like a lot has
changed in your life. You're in a different place altogether,
as we all are. That was during kind of like pandemic,
and a lot has happened since then. What's new? What's
happening in your life right now?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
You know?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I mean it's just been so busy with work, you know,
producing you know, this new movie, and started acting, which
is brand new. I never even thought about acting ever.
It was never a I mean I used to act
in like middle school plays and high school plays, but
I never thought like, oh yeah, I want to act
in a movie or a TV series. And to now
be doing that is I mean, that's probably the newest thing,
(02:27):
which you know, even now, I'm like.
Speaker 6 (02:29):
Wow, that's really cool.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, And it's just been a season of just you know,
navigating a lot of busyness and you know, working on
trying to, you know, just not be overwhelmed. Right, Like
everybody wants success, which is great, but at the same time,
you know, success requires management.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
It's not like, oh it's.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
So easy, Like no, most of the time, if you
are successful at some level, you're working even harder. And
so for me, it's just really been trying to, you know,
stay in the moment, be present, enjoy and not just
be so overwhelmed by all the things that are happening.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
What was it, Where were you or what happened when
you had a moment where you were like, I want
to act now I didn't.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
Oh I didn't. I was offered the role. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
The producers and the director of this movie called Jesus Revolution.
They came out earlier this year.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
It was very massive, huge. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yes, it's highest grossing inspirational film this year so far.
And so they came to me and they said, hey,
there's a part that we want you to play of
this reporter who works for Time magazine. And at first
I was going to say, well, I'm not an actor.
That was my first instinct, but then I was like, well, let.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
Me read the script.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I read the script and I said, oh, I kind
of like this part. It's a great story. The script's great.
So I said okay and started working with an acting
coach and really took it very seriously, and I went
to set and did what I was instructed to do
and it went.
Speaker 6 (03:50):
Well, and I was like, oh, this is good.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
And people started seeing the movie saying, oh, wow, you
look you were great. Nobody even thought like, oh, I
would have never known you never acted before. So it
was just an opportunity presented to me, as have all
the other acting opportunities I've had since then, and I
have a couple projects that will come out into this year.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
So but it is interesting because I think a lot
of time in life, people will get offered things and
you think, oh no, no, no, like that's not me, Like
that's not my box, Like this is my box and
that's not my box.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
And I think a lot of people don't have.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
The courage to step out of that and face something
that is new or scary. Right, what got you through that?
Because I thought you do that a lot in your career,
Like you are if I ask you what you are
you are an author, you are a motivational speaker, you
are a CEO, you have a production company, you're a producer,
you're an actor.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I mean, like, I mean, there's more than I'm forgetting too.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, you know, I think it requires a level of
just ignorance, you know, like, well, I'm not really aware
of what I can't do, so let me stay ignorant
to that, right, Like and then also it's like, why
would I create a la for myself that would limit myself?
So if I'm like, oh, I'm just the producer, then
(05:05):
that's cool. Like I do know how to produce. I'm
a really good producer. But if I only wear that label,
then that label can block other things that I am.
I just don't know that I am. So I just
try to live in the world a possibility like, oh
well why not, you know, And the worst thing that
happens is I do this movie and I fail, right,
all right, Well I didn't quit my day job, you know, Yeah,
but I had the experience of doing it, and in
(05:27):
that experience is growth. So no matter what, there's no
way I could lose. So just living that way of like,
you know, I don't want to be defined by anything
I do. I want to, you know, continue to explore
who I am what's possible, you know, And that's the fun.
I mean, to learn that I have this other skill
set that I didn't know I had, and to now
have opportunities to express it and explore it. That's what
(05:48):
keeps me doing it. It's like, Oh, before I became
an author, I didn't know I could write. The opportunity
was presented, you know, I said, oh, I wrote one book,
and then oh I have another an idea for this
book and this book, and now we're like six or
seven book.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Then just so that's like a whole other thing to
be really proud of, because that is truly just. But
I think that fear of failure is what really stops people.
And I feel like, but have you experienced failure in
any way? Because I feel like everything you touches.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Well no, I mean, you know, look, I think we
have to then evaluate what is our definition of failure, right,
because failure traditionally indicates that the result that I wanted
I didn't get. So then the emotions around that usually
reveal a level of attachment to a result that probably
(06:39):
was unhealthy. Right, So if I'm feeling like I failed. Okay,
well how did you fail? Well, you had a goal,
you didn't hit it. Well, what did you learn? Oh well,
here's what I learned. How did you grow? Well, here's
how I grew. Did you fail? So when I think
of failure, you know, I look at it through the
(06:59):
lens of you know, have I had things that didn't
go the way I wanted?
Speaker 6 (07:03):
Sure, but I'm glad that that happened. You know.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Not every movie I've worked on has been you know,
super successful. Not every book that I've written, you know,
has been a New York Times bestseller at all. But
then I have to say, Okay, if I'm creating a
false definition of success as well as a false definition
of failure, then I'm always going to be subject to
those definitions. Yeah, instead of allowing the result is what
the result is? Like learning to be a I mean
(07:29):
passionate enough to be able to write it or produce
it or act in it, but detached from the result, like,
you know, whatever that does?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
How do you do that?
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Though?
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I think that's been what's your quote that you always say, No,
it's open to the possibility, not attached to the outcome.
And I think that can make you live a very healthy,
happy life.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
But I don't know how to do that.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
I am attached to every single outcome. And actually it's
funny you bring up the New York Times bestseller because
when we put out the book, I was so attached
to that outcome, and when it didn't happen, I felt
like the book was a failure and it was right.
It like broke my heart because I was I spent
so much time and effort and energy in it, and
to me it felt like a failure. And that was
really hard for me to deal with, like I couldn't
(08:09):
wrap my head around it. So how do you stay
attached to the outcome?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yes, and I've been there before, right, So anything I'm
talking about is because I've been there. So I've been
there when in terms of you know, the books and
you know, wanting the sales and wanting the list and
not happening multiple times, and to your point, feeling like,
oh I failed, and and what has helped me get
out of that is there's probably not one place I
(08:37):
go where someone doesn't come up to me and say,
I have one of your books and it helped me,
and thank you for what you're doing. And you know
I mean, And so then I say, Okay, the New
York Times list is an arbitrary list.
Speaker 6 (08:52):
It's cool, great if we hit it. Cool, I'm not.
I'm not knocking it.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
But like, you could hit the New York Times best
seller's list for a variety of reasons and not to anybody.
So is this about lives, This about changing lives with
the message that we've been given, or is it about
an arbitrary, you know, artificial system that's supposed to make
us feel more accomplished than we are. Right, a New
York Times bestseller does not make the words any different.
(09:16):
It's the same words, it's the same book, it's the
same process. So again, like if it happens, cool, wonderful.
But at the end of the day, it's about the
shift of perspective. It's about the people, right, Like I
wrote this book to change people's hearts and minds, to
put something positive in the world. And I got to
work on being you know, detached and agnostic about how
(09:36):
that happens. Because the more attached I am, then what
happens is what you've experienced, what I've experienced negative emotion. Right,
I did not hit the New York Times Bestsellers list.
I am a failure on some level, or I'm not
as successful as I thought. Where who's the arbiter of that?
Who determines that we do? So we create this false
(09:57):
narrative in our own life, we judge ourselves by it,
and then what's a perfectly amazing book becomes a book
that's not so good.
Speaker 6 (10:04):
Yeah, it's all here, it's all in our mind.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
It has nothing to do with reality. Anybody that picks
up the book is going to get so much out
of it. I know I got a lot out of it.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
You know.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
There's so much in the book that I think is
life changing and perspective changing and shifting. So it's really
about saying, Okay, what are the things here that I
can focus on that will keep me in a positive emotion,
in a positive mental state, and let me work on
releasing anything that will not Yeah. Right, so, and I'm
not even saying the next book, Sure, work towards the list,
(10:34):
no problem. But do it from a place of joy, right,
do it from a place of this is exciting, you know,
and great. And what I learned is, oh, these are
the things that have to be done and truth be
told most of the.
Speaker 6 (10:44):
Time hitting the list.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Beyond the type of press that has done for a book,
A lot of has to just do with the.
Speaker 6 (10:51):
Number of people that you're reaching.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
So if you're reaching a number of people, you know
in advance or timed right around release, you know, it
gives you a better chance to be acknowledged. So it's like, Okay,
let me focus on the people. How can I get
to people? How can I sell this message to people?
And then let's see what's meant to be. And just
like a seed, every seed's different. Some books are not
meant to do that and other books will. So it's hard.
(11:14):
I get it. I totally get it. You're absolutely right.
It's the work that I'm doing so that I don't
take myself to a negative place that I don't have to.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I will say though that experience, I remember I faced
one of my facts. I was fearing rejection asking you
to endorse the book, Like I was, like, I didn't
want to ask you because they were talking about who
do you want to endorse it? And they were saying,
is there somebody in the book space that you really admire?
And like you were the first name that came to mind.
But I was like, we're not really like close friends,
so I'm scared. I don't want to ask him, like
(12:03):
and just was scared you were going to say no
or like ignore the message or whatever. And then when
you said yes, I was like, wow, Like why do
I not do things that made me like a little
bit nervous, you know, like I always do. I stay
very in my comfort zone. I never stepped out of it.
And that was something that like I stepped out of
it for and it really was like paid off in
such a beautiful way, Like it made me feel so
good and supported and like I don't know, so that
(12:24):
was like a big moment for me that you're part of.
Speaker 6 (12:27):
Yeah, and I know, why not thinking of me?
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Oh yeah, it was no problem And the book was great,
and you know, I was happy to support it in any.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Way I could. And you're working on another book too.
Speaker 6 (12:39):
I'm working on another book.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Can you tell us a little bit about Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
The book is called One of One and it's basically
the true meaning behind being single? Uh, and it's ironic,
Like I didn't know what it meant to be single
until I came single again after divorce, crazy, and then
what I realized is that we're all single, no matter
of your relationship stat because we're all individuals and a
(13:03):
couple is only as strong as the two singles that
make up the couple. And so often we don't actually
focus on who we are as an individual and harness
the power of that, because we spend so much time
looking for a relationship and then we get into a couple.
But because we don't know how to be a good single,
we don't know how to be one with ourselves. How
can we be one with someone else? And then we
(13:24):
overburdened the relationship.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
You're definitely preaching to the choir here because when's this book.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Yeah, when this is coming out.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm working on it now, it'll be I'm open, like
in the first quarter next year.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
That's yeah, Yes, tell us more.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
What have you learned in this new era?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Please? Oh man, No, I've learned so much because I mean,
you were married for year decade and so I feel
like that. You know, we were talking about how when
you you do become dependent on another person in a
weird way, just natural happens when you're with somebody for
several years. Yes, but you can't lose yourself in that.
(14:06):
And sometimes it's sometimes it's easier and sometimes it's harder.
And I feel like, is that what you learned after
your divorce?
Speaker 6 (14:12):
Well?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
In part, you know, in part it's like, okay, you
know if I focus on it being being.
Speaker 6 (14:18):
An individual, right, Well, what does it mean for me
to be an individual? You know?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Am I loving to myself? Do I care for myself?
Do I keep space for myself? Do I give grace
to myself? So what in my experience what happens is
a lot of times we're waiting to be with someone
to do those things.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Oh my gosh, it's like he's speaking, keep going and
keep going, keep going.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
So what happens is that when we don't become the
number one generator of grace and space and love and
happiness and joy for ourself, we then overburden.
Speaker 6 (14:54):
The relationship to do something it's not designed to.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Do because somebody, even if they don't, they can't articulate it.
If you carry an energy in your relationship that you
need this person to be your source of happiness, you
need this person to be your source of joy, You
need this person to be your source of recreation, entertainment,
they are going to reject you subconsciously because all of
(15:18):
us know that's not how we're set up. I'm not
set up to be somebody else's source. Yeah, I'm not
set up to be your No, no, no, I can.
I can make a contribution to your happiness, but I don't.
Don't expect me to make you happy every day, because
I guarantee there gonna be many days I'll make you sad.
So this idea of being one of one, you got
a hilarious.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
I know, well, because we're I mean we're I think
we're in.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
A season of life that you're really speaking to right now.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, Well for me, it's like, okay,
knowing that I'm one of one, Oh great, Okay, that
means I'm rare. It means I'm valuable. It means that
I'm not defined by who I'm with. I'm defined by
the fact that I was bold, that I'm in this
earth and I'm doing I'm a unique individual and that's
important because in a relationship, there's a tendency to give
(16:07):
up that individuality. And I believe that this is why
so many relationships don't work, and that's why people are
so happy unhappy is because they are not themselves. If
this is the irony you get with somebody, whether it's
in a relationship or marriage, and they become the person
you're less truthful with. You tell the people outside of
the relationship all the stuff that you wish you could
tell your partner.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
That makes that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
And then we wonder why relationships don't work because we
are not being ourselves and we're not harnessing the power
of what it means to be one of one, to
be an individual, to have an individual way of thinking.
And then I bring that to the relationship. A great
relationship will enhance individuality. It won't cause individuality to be diminished.
And that's something that I did not know before getting,
(16:50):
you know, married. Right before I was married, I thought like, oh,
similar to what everybody thinks. Oh, you know, you find
love and then that's when life happens. And I did
find love and life was great. But when I bought
into the myth that the relationship or the marriage was
going to make me happier yeah than when I was uncoupled,
(17:10):
that myth was very destructive because it wasn't true. And
this is the bill of goods we sell. Everybody get
into a relationship, fine, love, find marriage, it's the answer.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Yeah, it's the fairy tale.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
It's the fairy tale. And we had people squandering the
period of time when they're uncoupled looking for somebody, when
really you should be looking for yourself. Who am I,
What do I want? What are my experiences? What do
I like?
Speaker 6 (17:34):
What don't I like?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
So, then when I'm in a relationship, what happens is
if I know if I have a stronger sense of self, right,
because every relationship can teach us more about ourselves. But
let's say have a strong sense of self and I
have grace for myself, and I have space for myself,
I'm gonna have space for my partner. I'm gonna have
grace for my partner. If I have a short temper
with me, I'm gonna have a short temper with them.
If I don't really like me, I'm gonna have a
(17:57):
problem with them. I'm gonna find fault with them. Right,
anything that I'm pointing the finger out usually is a
mirror for something I'm not feeling inside. So this idea
of being one of one and say, okay, even if
I'm in a relationship, I'm a single, what makes me
a good single? What do I need to do in
my life to be the best single I can be?
And then how do I share that with someone instead
(18:19):
of demanding Because here's what happens. We demand that people perform.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Oh my gosh, well in a.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Relationship, you better do this right or well, why does
doing that matter so much? I'm not saying that you
should negotiate in a relationship? What makes you all one?
What makes the relationship work?
Speaker 6 (18:36):
Talk about it?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
But so often because we're not doing the work on
the inside, we're not figuring out what's going on in us.
Speaker 6 (18:43):
We point to the person.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
As the problem and the danger there is. You point
to the person as a problem, you break up with
that person, but the real problem never gets solved. Yeah,
and the real problem was us. So then we take
the same problem to the next relationship. Keep pointing the finger.
This ain't right.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
Get out.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Take the next problem to the same You see how
crazy it is, and we have all this heartbreak that
we didn't need to have, right, because it starts with like, okay, well,
why is this issue a problem to begin with? Why
am I attracting an unhealthy person to be continuously because
there's something in me that's unhealthy that's not being addressed.
So this is the you know again, I don't mean
to go on a dangier.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
But this is what the new book is going to be.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
About, one of one, you know, really knowing what it
means to be single and finding the purpose and the
power and the piece of it.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
Has there been struggling that for you? I mean being
with someone for tenure?
Speaker 4 (19:31):
I mean that's such a you.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Know, from your perspective now, like you have this really
amazing perspective on it.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
But it's like we get.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Pain is the greatest teacher. Yeah, right, so pain is
the greatest teacher. So I couldn't even begin to articulate
or wrap my head around these concepts without going through
deep pain, you know, not being married and and you know,
I mean, I want to say losing my wife, but
you know, having a life transition and going through divorce
that's the most painful experience in life. And I certainly
(20:02):
would never prescribe it to anyone at all. And so
for me, instead of coming out of the divorce and
the relationship and pointing the finger, I wanted to say, Okay,
well what was my part in this? You know, what
do I need to know more about me, not from
a judgmental standpoint, just from a like life like, hey,
who am I?
Speaker 6 (20:22):
What did I learn? How did I get here?
Speaker 1 (20:24):
And so from that work and you know, working with
a therapist and working with life coaches and journaling and
writing and reading the scripture and all of that, that's
what started me to get clearer on you know, where
I went wrong and how I can help others and
use the pain that I've been through in a positive
way to help others, you know, navigate relationships as I
(20:46):
do too, you know, and it's not easy, right, like,
but I feel like it's for me the idea that
I could use something difficult that I've been through to
help somebody else, it then gives it more purpose. So
it really was the pain of going through this and
then doing.
Speaker 6 (21:05):
It publicly, you know, that's that's a people people.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Everybody wants a spotlight, but the spotlight that illuminates also burns.
Speaker 6 (21:18):
It's the truth.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
And so you know, I can't choose to go through
it privately. Everybody in the world knows. So yeah, that
pain of that is what has produced a lot of
these thoughts in this clarity around and also for me personally,
it's like, you know, whenever I do get married again,
you know I can do it from I think, a
a stronger emotional place, with a greater perspective on what
(21:41):
the marriage needs or the relationship needs and and what
it doesn't uh, and do my best to not overburden
it with things that it was never designed to do.
Speaker 6 (21:50):
You know, no one can heal us. We can heal ourselves.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
And that's such a beautiful place to be into. I
always find it so uh, I don't know what the
word is. It's so off putting when people go through
a divorce and they are like that person sucked and
they sucked and I hate this person. It's like you
were married to this person for so long. And also
like take accountability for you know it is it's a
relationship is two people. It's two people that cannot make
(22:15):
a relationship work. It's not one person's fault. And so
I think when you hear people come out of like
a divorce and they're pointing the finger and bashing the
other person, I find it to be so like you said,
like it's like that's not you taking any accountability for it.
It's such like a it's nice to hear you say
that from your perspective, My boyfriend was the same way.
He was divorced, and he had that same perspective of
(22:37):
when he went through it. Obviously everything's different and the
circumstances were I'm sure different, but it was like, what
did I attribute? What did I learn from this? And
how can I grow moving forward in my next relationship
and when I do get married to not allow that
to happen again?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Yes, yes, yes, And you know, I mean I hope
that we take that, you know, I hope that we
take the time, yeah, to do some introspection and do
some thinking of like, Okay, well what can I do
to do better? What can I learn from this? Because
the pointing the finger, it's an easy it's easy placing
blame is it's a very it's low hanging fruit.
Speaker 6 (23:14):
Yeah, but to.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Look inwardly that requires courage and uh, but that's where
the answers always are.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about this book.
I do want to say everybody listening, if you have
not read any of Devon's books, they are all so
fantastic and I always learned something and grow from every
single one of them.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
So I'm really excited for the new one.
Speaker 6 (23:38):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (23:38):
Yeah, I wanted to talk about the weight because I
knew that was a big That.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
One was huge for me. Yes, you like changing, Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:46):
Your views on celibacy, that was you you with your
ex correct?
Speaker 6 (23:52):
Correct?
Speaker 5 (23:52):
And how long were y' all dating? Were you choose?
Speaker 6 (23:54):
We dated for almost a year.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Okay, and that was the choice that y'all made to wait,
do you still have the same views on celibacy?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
You know, I believe that that book in Celibacy is
absolutely a valuable tool, without a doubt what I learned
from and also when you go back and look at
the book, the idea behind delayed gratification, it's like, man,
if we can get that, like, I think life would
be so much better. Here's what I've learned. The error
(24:22):
of my ways in that regard was bringing the public
into my sex life. So going forward, I said, you know,
y'all got my sex life. Hey, you read about it
this new chapter, Divin I ain't talking about it because
the same way, you can't invite the public in when
you want them and keep them out when you don't.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yeah. So she went through the same exact.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
I went on the Bachelor, and I was a virgin
at the.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
Time, and it's like her thing. It was like back
in the.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
Virgin But I didn't My plan wasn't to talk about
being a virgin. But I said it in like without
remember that I had a mic and seven cameras on me,
you know, like I said it in a very like
trying to comfort a friend like she was a virgin.
I was like, oh, me too. And then I was like,
oh my gosh, my whole storyline on the show has changed, right,
And so I had this you know, it's kind of
(25:13):
this thing where I was like, Hey, this is something
I'm very proud of. I'm not gonna you know, I
don't want anyone who's watching who's also a virgin or
choosing to wait, to feel shame. But it wasn't my
plan to have that part of my life so public.
And so then it was like people felt comfortable coming
up to me and being like to my face, like
are you still a virgin? And so.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Who were you to ask me that you.
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Business?
Speaker 5 (25:41):
But it was the same thing. It's like it gave
people this idea that they had the right to know
this information about me. So when I lost my virginity,
I felt this enormous weight of like I've let everyone down.
You know. It was this like weird thing that.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I felt like so sad because it was that was
her first reaction after She was like, I remember you
called me and you were like everyone's going to be
so let down. And I was like, why are you
thinking about that right now? There's a big life moment
for you. That's all she could think about.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
It was the same thing. So I was curious if yeah,
that makes perfect sense that you're like, wow, I left
everyone in And then I wanted to be like, you
don't deserve that, like, don'tshing about it.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
And it was, you know, it was well meaning you like,
you know, and again, the book is great, there's no
I love the book, you know, and love everything that
we put into that book, and you know, think that
message is powerful and that the message works.
Speaker 6 (26:32):
But in terms of like you know, how I navigate
you know, these areas, it's like, yo, I got to
learn the lesson and this is I got to keep
it to me.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yeah, you know, but I will tell you just as
somebody that read the book and was in a season
of life where I was in this perpetual pattern of
pain because I was giving my body before I was
getting the the the relationship or the attachment that I
that I wanted. The book really was good for me
(27:02):
as somebody to learn these tools and realize, like, obviously
what I'm doing is hurting is like hurting me, so
I need to do something different. And when I pivoted that,
my dating life completely shifted. And it was like I
put that as kind of like a no, like I'm
not doing this until I'm in a committed, serious relationship.
And it really changed the dating game for me in
(27:22):
such a big way. Like I wasn't crying all the
time like I was. I'd be bombed if things didn't
work out, but I wasn't in this like perpetual pattern
of pain. So I think the book is really amazing
for you know, people going through different seasons of life
and can can relate it in different ways.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
And it's interesting because even as you articulate it, you
know that what you just said goes directly to one
of one. So when I know my value and I
know my worth that I make different decisions. Yeah, So
what you're saying is like, look, sex was ultimately at
some point getting in the way of my decision making process, right,
(27:59):
And I had to say, I'm going to wait for
sex until I feel the value that I need to
feel from the person that I'm going to ultimately share
that with. Yeah, And until i feel that value, I'm waiting. Yeah,
and I'm not going to do it. That's what it
means to we want to want. It means to know
your value, know your worth, and make decisions based on that.
Speaker 5 (28:19):
I'm really looking forward to that forward to release.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
You know what else I'm looking forward to?
Speaker 5 (28:25):
Should we take a break?
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Oh, take a break, I'll come right back. All right,
we are back.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
Did you want to take the lead?
Speaker 3 (28:48):
I wanted to take the lead because I know that
this this movie that is coming out very shortly, This
has been in the works for seven years, flaming Hot,
and I want to know.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
So you produced it?
Speaker 6 (28:59):
Yes? I did?
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Ye? Yes?
Speaker 6 (29:00):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (29:00):
How because I watched the trailer. I haven't seen the
movie yet, it's not out yet, right, Why was this
something that you really wanted to make? And talk about?
Why movies that take so long?
Speaker 6 (29:11):
Like?
Speaker 4 (29:12):
How did it take seven years to make this movie?
Speaker 6 (29:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
You know, this is a movie that from the moment
that I heard the story, I was like, I've got
to make this movie. I had a mutual friend introduced
me to Richard Montagnez and the Flameing Hot movie is
based upon Richard's story. And he came in and with
his wife Judy, and I said, just tell me your story.
And so we sat there in my production office and
you know, met for about an hour or so, and
(29:35):
he walked me through his story, and by the end
of that meeting, I just said, I got to do it.
I said, yes, I'll get Yes, I'll make your story
into a movie if you would give me the opportunity.
Speaker 6 (29:45):
And he said yes.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
And I didn't have a studio at that point in time.
I didn't know i'd have a writer. I didn't even
know that, you know, if it was going to happen.
But I just felt compelled. I said, Wow, this story
is too unique, it's too inspiring, it's too motivational for
me to say no. So I gave him a yes
in that meeting, and you know, began the process of
getting the movie made.
Speaker 6 (30:05):
And movies, you know, tend to there. It's not like music.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
You know, you can go into the studio and in
ten minutes have a song, whereas with movies you know,
it's labor intensive to tell these stories, and from a
motion picture standpoint, and all that goes into production and
casting and locations and script development. I mean, there's just
a lot more factors to create a high quality movie
(30:30):
and a lot more people that have to be involved.
So that's part of the reason why it takes so long.
And so in the case of Flaming Hot, I found
a writer, we developed a pitch, we sold the pitch,
and then we worked on it for probably two years
that script, and then we were able to go out
to directors, and that's where I met Eva Longoria and
she came in to pitch herself as a director, and
(30:52):
I liked what she had to say and thought that
she was the director, and then hired her to direct.
We hired a new writer to do the rewrite, and
then that took another two years and some change. And
then while that was all happening, COVID hit.
Speaker 5 (31:07):
Right.
Speaker 6 (31:07):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
All these things were really really challenging, and going back
like once I met Richard, meeting Richard, getting a writer
on board and developing the pitch took time too.
Speaker 6 (31:20):
You know, we had to.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Spend some hours figuring out like you know, I mean,
not even hours months figuring out what's the movie story here? Like, Okay,
I know your life story, but how do I create
a movie out of that? So all these factors contribute
to why it takes so long for a movie to
get made. But I'm grateful that, you know, I gave
Richard my word and I was successful in getting his
movie made. And now it's about to come to the
(31:43):
world and it's on Disney Plus and Hulu, and you know,
and that's and it's amazing that this is the first
movie in the history of Disney that this is that's
going out on both US streaming platforms.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
I was gonna say that just happened, right, yes.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, yep, it just happened a little while ago. So
it's amazing. You know, they saw the movie and thought
that this was perfect film for both platforms.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
Oh that's really cool. I think it's such a testament
to be able to keep your word on something. I mean,
that's a long time in this industry to hold something
and be able to produce, like have something to be
like I told you, I know seven years ago.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I know, I mean, you know, but I take that seriously.
I really take it seriously. For me, it's a movie,
but for them it's their life. Yeah, so you know,
I take it seriously. And I really wanted to get
this done because I think the story. I mean, he
started as.
Speaker 6 (32:32):
A janitor's working like crazy and.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
You know, cleaning the plant in ranchal Cucamonga, and the
plant was losing jobs and he wanted to save jobs.
And he just felt like the company was not appealing
to his community because he is this he is the
son of a Mexican immigrant and he's like, you know,
the company is not appealing to the Mexican American community
because there's no spicy product. And he was like, look,
(32:56):
you know, I want to take this spicy product and
market it to my community because I think it's going
to work. And they gave him the opportunity to do that,
and what we now know as the success of Flame
and Hot Cheetos came to be, and not just Cheeto's,
but Dorito's and the.
Speaker 6 (33:08):
Whole Flame of Hot brand.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeah, and that catapulted him from being you know, the
janitor to becoming one of the topic executives at the company.
And that is just a powerful American story that I
was I said, we got to make this movie.
Speaker 6 (33:21):
You got to make the movie. How do you do?
Speaker 1 (33:23):
That kind of remind me of Pursuit of Happiness, Yeah,
which I had the pleasure of working on as an
executive when I was working for Sony. So this is
the first movie I've been trying to redo Pursuit of
Happiness forever, and this is the first movie that I
have found where I think we got close.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
I do think that there's something in these stories that
are very inspirational and motivational in the sense that you
don't have to like I think that there's this misconception
of like you have to, you know, go to the
best schools, and you have to go to the best
things to get into the best jobs and be in
front of the best companies. And it's like he was
a janitor at this place. Yes, he didn't even have
(34:00):
a seat at the table, and he like made a
seat for himself, you know. And I obviously don't know
how the story unfolds, because I haven't seen it yet,
but there is so much power in that because I
think that a lot of time we can feel really
helpless where we are, and if you have the passion,
you have the drive, and you believe in yourself.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
You really can get there.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Oh yeah, no, I mean absolutely. I mean it's anybody
watching this movie can take something away for their own
life in terms of perseverance and tenacity. And also, Richard
didn't set out to create a billion dollar brand, you know,
he didn't set out to create you know, what we
now know is flameing hot.
Speaker 6 (34:37):
That wasn't his goal. His goal was to create jobs,
save jobs.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
You know, the plant workers, the people I'm working next to,
their losing their jobs, families are suffering.
Speaker 6 (34:47):
I want to do something about that. That's service.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
And I think so often, you know, especially you know
in La, there's just this addiction to dream chasing, you know,
versus like, Okay, yeah I have a dream, But how
can I be a certain of us?
Speaker 6 (35:00):
How can I help somebody so true you know along
the way? How can I do that?
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Because at the end of the day, most people that
end up changing this world are not setting out to
change the world. They're just setting out to help somebody
so true, And I think this movie really shows the
power of that.
Speaker 5 (35:17):
Yeah, it's like looking at the bigger picture outside of yourself. Yes, always, absolutely,
which is hard.
Speaker 6 (35:23):
It's hard, it's hard.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
But like if Richard was trying to go out there
and create flaming hot Cheetos and billion dollar brand, we
wouldn't be talking about it right now. So true, but
his heart was I want to save jobs. I want
to give back to the place that's given so.
Speaker 6 (35:37):
Much to me.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
It's just so counterculture to what it is now.
Speaker 6 (35:41):
I know, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
I know it's so opposite of what the society is
that we're living in.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
I know, I know, But that's why I think. You know,
I've screened this film, you know, with audiences all around
the country already, and people I mean of all races, ages,
you know, genders, I mean, they are loving this movie.
I think because they do relate to it, like because
the culture is so counter culture at this moment that
this movie is cutting through and resonating with people in
(36:11):
a way that is really gratifying and surprising. And I'm
excited to see how it does once the debut is
on Hulu and Day's Disney.
Speaker 5 (36:20):
Plus, I'm so excited to see it.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
Yeah, I'm really excited to see it too.
Speaker 5 (36:24):
June ninth, which it'll be the day after this podcaster.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, So if you listen to this. You
could probably watch it at this point.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Love that, Yes, streaming right now. Get a bag of
flaming hot Cheetos.
Speaker 5 (36:37):
That's all ideal.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
But I feel like you do that too. You know,
you have so much going on. I don't I don't
even want to know what your calendar looks like in
a day like truly, But I feel like you still
go and you still preach at churches, and you still
make time to yeah, to do all that. And I
think that is also a testament to who you are too,
because I think you can be doing the same thing
like how can I build my dream and chase my
dream and do this? But you also have this aspect
(37:00):
of you that really wants to serve and give back
to other people.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Man, Yeah, no, it's important. It's important. I mean, I
wouldn't be here if that wasn't the case. You know,
it's really about that. Yeah, going back to you know,
even the conversation about the book and not you know,
making the list. You know, okay, but you touch lives, yeah,
you know. Yeah, you improve people's point of view and perspective.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
We heard from so many mothers and daughters that were
doing the devotional together, which was really really really cool
and special, which is why we did it.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
You know.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
It was like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's just
you know, it's like at the end of the movie,
Richard has a line about not letting anyone, you know,
steal his story, you know, and taking ownership of it,
and and I resonate with that, like, you know, let's
not let these arbitrary things like a list steal our story. Yeah,
it's a great story. We've got a book made.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
Yeah, that's huge.
Speaker 5 (37:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Like you're an author, You're eternal. When I first became
an author, my buddy was like, who's who was an author?
He said, now you're eternal. You know, I hear your
words will be around.
Speaker 4 (37:58):
For everything, So that I never thought that cool perspective.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
What actually, you know, because you do have so many
things going on, what do you want your story to be?
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Like where does DeVaughn go from here?
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (38:12):
You know, man, what Captain Kirk said, boldly go with
no man has gone before. So you know, I'm trying
to just live in the fullness of my gifts and
and uh, you know, I love entertainment, so you know,
continuing to act and produce and write books and maybe
direct one day and continue to preach and you know,
just just continue to be me and do all that
(38:35):
I'm gifted to do and keep challenging myself, you know,
take it to the next level. See what can happen
with the still the same goal of you know, uplifting
people along the way and providing information, inspiration, hope and help.
Those are things that no matter what I do, I'm
passionate about those things. But what it's all going to
look like? I truly have no idea.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
Do you take time for yourself?
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (38:56):
Yeah, you really sure have to take time?
Speaker 4 (38:59):
Like like what energizer, Bunny? You just keep going?
Speaker 1 (39:02):
No, I know I do, but I you know, I
do it because I have a very you know, strong regimen.
You know, I work out in the mornings. I have
supplements and things that I take. I take off the Sabbath,
so Friday night send down, a Saturday, I send out.
I don't work, turn off my email, don't check social media.
Speaker 6 (39:17):
You know.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
So I do have a lot of, you know, things
in place to help me stay where I need to
stay mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Speaker 5 (39:25):
Yeah. I think that I was going to ask that too,
like what do you do to come back when you're
giving so much to people. So I think it's I
think sometimes our society and structure is like you grind, grind, grind,
and don't take any time for yourself.
Speaker 6 (39:37):
So you have to, Yeah, you have to.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
I don't even like that a concept of grinding, like
you know, like if you grind your teeth, it's a
problem then down.
Speaker 5 (39:48):
Yeah, Like you go to different countries and they have
like scheduled nap times in the middle of that, I'm like,
we're not doing it right over here.
Speaker 6 (39:54):
I don't know, so true. So no, yeah, I definitely.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
You know, I'm busy and I have seasons, you know,
like this when I'm out promoting the film, which are
busier than usual. But you know, I still try to
find the time, you know, you know, and also even
through all the staying in therapy, staying in life coaching,
you know, still taking time to journal and read and pray.
All those things are are essential no matter how busy
(40:19):
I get.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
Yeah, but they're easy to yeah, not put in the schedule.
Speaker 6 (40:23):
They're easy. It's easy.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
But like no, I'm like, no, no, no, I'm going
to find an hour for my therapy session, an hour
for my life coaching.
Speaker 6 (40:29):
We'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
But those are the things that help because having an
outlet to express and explore what's going on inside of
me consistently, I've learned that that's really helpful to manage
all that's that I that I'm tasked with doing.
Speaker 5 (40:45):
Yeah, I think when you find the importance in those
things like therapy and stuff, you're like, I will make
time where I need to make time makes the biggest difference.
It does how I'm able to give to other people.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
Do you work out seven days a week? In questions, Well,
six days a week.
Speaker 6 (41:03):
It just depends.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
I mean, you know, I'll take a like today, I didn't,
I've worked out this morning. I'll probably work out tonight.
But I try to do some movement every day as
best I can, you know. So I will go between
like rumble boxing and uh hot yoga and the studio
climber class here in LA like the things.
Speaker 6 (41:22):
Yeah, I'll do that.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Then I'll like sometimes jump rope at the house or
work out with this axe that's called like chop fit,
which you know, it's pretty cool.
Speaker 5 (41:33):
Whoa you know, the TikTok it's always like chopping, So I.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Just mix it up yeah, but I try to do
some movement every day every day because it just first
of all, just helps me mentally. Yeah, Like if I
usually don't work out in the morning, I feel a
little groggy. Yeah, but if even if I just do
fifteen minutes a jump rope, I'm like, Okay, my blood flalling.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
It's a long time to jump rope. Let me tell you.
Speaker 5 (41:56):
I can.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
List.
Speaker 6 (42:02):
I've set the clock to fifteen minutes. And you know, wow, man.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
You're just you really are always inspiring me, motivating me.
You are somebody that I really really look up to
and admire in many ways. So just always rooting for
you and all your projects. I really I hope Flaming
Hawk goes to number one and.
Speaker 5 (42:22):
Stream streaming services, yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Just all over the place, and that they you make
another I don't even whatever you wanted to. Hope everything
that you do turns out successful because I really I
believe in what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
Thank you so much. I really appreciate I believe with
both of you all. Grateful always for the time to
be able to talk and you know connect.
Speaker 5 (42:41):
Yeah, thank you for coming and scrubbing it in.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
Studio, studio, and please when the when one of one
comes out, Please come back because we could do oh no, yeah,
we can.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
Do a whole series on that little series on that one.
Speaker 6 (42:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (42:55):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 6 (42:56):
Welcome, thank you.
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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