Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and I
Heart Radio and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast
Hello everybody, We're scrubbing in. Tanya is out this week,
but we have a very special co host, one of
my good friends, Kitlin Carter, is scrubbing in today. Yeah.
(00:24):
I'm so happy you're here because we we had you
booked as a guest, and then Tanya wasn't able to
do the podcast, and I was like, because they were like,
do you want to get a co host? And I said,
let's just Kitlin has a podcast, Let's let her co
host with me. Well, first of all, I was so
honored to be asked to even be a guest in
the first place. Maybe I'm hyping the show up too
much in my head, but I seriously feel like I
may as well be on the world's biggest talk show
(00:46):
right now. Because when they told me that you guys
wanted me as a guest, I was so excited. I
was like, Yes, this is gonna be great. I can't wait.
Took on it, and then when you asked me to
co host, I sort of freaked out. I was like,
they think Becca thinks I'm good enough to go on
and co host here. This is such an honor. And
then I was telling you before we started recording that
I'm I'm here and Aspen with a couple of friends,
(01:07):
um skiing. And today I literally made everyone's schedule around
getting back to the house in time for me to
record this because I was like, you guys don't understand.
I'm going on this two time award winning show and
it's so important and I've got to get there. And
I was like, okay, well, I of course blew that
and was late per usual, but I'm normally Mark East
(01:28):
and y'all can correct me if I'm wrong. Essentially been
in quarantine. I've been pretty consistently on time because everything's virtual,
so I mean, you would think give me more consistent
than it has been. But yes, generally, okay, yeah, it's
been better than when I used to drive the studio,
considering you don't really have a choice but to be
at home where you record. Although you said you record
(01:51):
usually a Tanya's, right, I do, so I do have
to make the three minute drive to Tanya's on Monday,
so that can slow me down a little bit, but
it's not. But I my sisters and I are leaving.
We're driving to Louisiana today. We're leaving for like a
four day road trip, and so I of course went.
I rented a minivan because I thought that would be
(02:13):
the best road trip car. And I go to pick
it up today and they didn't have one on the
actual lot, so I booked it, but they didn't actually
have it, and so I was scrambling all morning trying
to find one. I'm about to start my period. I
saw a squirrel that got hit by a car. It
was still alive, and I started crying. I was like,
so devastated. Just been one of those mornings that alone
(02:37):
is a day ruiner. For That's why I said, I
was like, do I even leave today? Is it's just
a bad day? Ah, Why do we start talking about that.
I'm just explaining that it's been that day. Um, But
you know, we're here. I'm so excited to have you on.
I feel like there's so much to talk to you
about because I feel like I'm shocked that we haven't
(02:59):
had do you do this before? Because I feel like
there's a lot to discuss. Well, I don't know, I
feel like, you know, you kind of got to earn
your place in the lineup when it comes to scrubbing in.
I think you know you guys are really this isn't
just any podcast, so no, but you reminded me when
(03:23):
you were talking about that rental car story about a
trip I took my sister for her bachelorette party. I
surprised her and took her to Iceland. And I was
working with this rental car company that's a European rental
car company, so I didn't know that much about it,
but they had promised to give us some kind of
really nice suv because we were gonna be doing a
lot of road tripping around Iceland. And when we got there,
(03:44):
of course, there was no suv to be found. Nothing,
They had nothing else. The only thing they had was
a twelve passenger van that was a stick shift, and
we had no choice but to take it because we
had six of us. It was the only car that
could fit. So we ended up driving around Iceland, and
I insisted that my sister. So I just was feeling
(04:05):
kind of lazy about driving a stick shift, even though
I the first car I ever learned to drive was
one Did you ever learn this on a standard? But
I'm so impressed because it really is such a I
have a great story about that after you finished. But
it's such a great skill to have. It's it's very
useful in situations like that. But for some reason, before
I made any mention of my ability to drive a
(04:28):
stick shift, my sister was like, it's fine, I can
drive a stick shift. I'll do it. And I just
let her do it, thinking that she must feel very
comfortable she's volunteering. As soon as we go to pull
out of the parking lot from the rental car place,
you have to go around a rotary. That's the first thing.
There's just rotary after rotary in Iceland, no stoplay um
like around about like a round about, yes, yes, sorry,
(04:50):
I guess we call them rotaries in New Hampshire. So
my sister goes to pull into this roundabout and just
immediately stalls the van and then she's freaking out. She's
so stressed, and I was I was the worst. I
was just kind of making fun of her. I was like, oh,
what you got to do when people are hawking? And
and she's so stressed. And finally we were like three
(05:10):
hours into the drive and she was getting really tired
and she kept kind of having these issues with the
stick ship and finally a etcetera. Do you want me
to just drive? I can, I'll drive if you want
me to. And she's like, I mean, if you can,
if you know, if you don't mind giving it a try,
and I get in and just immediately no problem or whatever.
She's like, what the hell is wrong with you to
me at the beginning, You're so mean? I literally it was,
(05:36):
but it was so entertaining. My sister was we were
shopping car shopping for my sister and there was this
car that she really wanted, but it only came it
said automatic on the We were just like looking on
the app and just driving to the places, and on
the app it said it was automatic. And we get
there and we look into the car, and we had
driven for hours just to dealership to dealership, and we
(06:00):
see it and we look in and and she goes,
it looks like a stick shift. I'm like, no, no, no,
the app side it was automatic, and the guy comes out,
he's like, oh yeah, it's manual. He's like, I can
teach you. I can teach you. So we get into
like do um and she's stalling out every stop. Side
and I'm crying laughing in the back like it was stressful,
(06:23):
but it was the worst passenger ever because I was
not encouraging, and so we were really trying to convince
ourselves because we've been going all day that we were like, yeah,
we can make this work, like just she'll learn. She
can learn, and you know, it's part of the process.
We were just so it is like riding a bike eventually,
like it didn't take a minute to learn. But I
(06:43):
can't tell you how many parties in high school because
I grew up in New Hampshire in the middle of nowhere.
So all the parties we ever had happened at people's houses.
And one of our friends had this little lake house
kind of tucked down a dirt road in the woods,
and there were so many times that people's cars would
just get stuck, like they'd have a manual and their
car would fly off the road or whatever, and no
nobody knew how to get it out. But I would
be able to go up and get it out. If
(07:05):
everyone's drunk, I'm like, okay, I can do it, and
I'll be sober and go fick get the car. And
I highly recommend everyone if you have the opportunity. I
still haven't learned, but I would say this is great.
This is a great lesson that you should always learn,
especially if you're like if you like to travel and
go places where a majority of their vehicles are manual.
It's it's really useful. Yeah, I think you run into
(07:28):
that problem more in Europe. Yeah, and if you're going
on the amazing race, like, it's very useful. I wanted
to kind of give people a background of like where
I know, I know you from so many different things,
and like we've known each other for a while, but
I mean you've kind of like you moved from New
Hampshire to l A. Like what's your story, Like how
(07:48):
long ago did you move to l A? What's been
the process of Like now you're on the hills. You
just have how do what happen? I know it's very surreal.
Actually it doesn't really feel like real life sometimes when
I think about it. But um, I'm gonna try to
do an abbreviated version because sometimes I can get long
winded about this. So when I got I studied English
and college graduated. I thought I was gonna go to
(08:10):
medical school, but I needed a job to support myself.
So I interviewed for this job at a finance company
and I was hired as an office assistant, just like
the entry level job as company UM. But the CEO
shortly after was going through all these assistants and he
couldn't find someone that worked for him, and I was
just filling in temporarily between assistants, and he and I
actually clicked really well. And so I was twenty one
(08:32):
years old and this is a massive asset management company.
They managed six hundred billion dollars or something crazy, and
he was the CEO. He said, you're totally underqualified for
this job, but you're the best at it that we've
had so far, so we want to offer you the job.
So all of a sudden, I was working for the
CEO of this big finance company. And that job took
(08:52):
me to Palm Beach, Florida, and London, and I lived
between Boston, London, and Palm Beach for those for about
four years. I bounced around the between the three places,
and I had no social life whatsoever, nothing, no personal life.
I just worked all the time and I was happy
because you know, when you're that age, you're like you're
not really thinking about anything besides you know, I just
wanted to make money and have fun. So I, um,
(09:14):
I worked for him for a long time, and then
I started dating someone who lived in l A who
I had met, and we just kind of did a
long distancing for a little bit. But every time I
come to l A, I felt like I never wanted
to leave. It just felt very comfortable and like that
was the place that I was meant to live. And
so at some point, when I was twenty five, I thought,
you know what, I think it's time that I start
(09:35):
pursuing what I really wanted to do and what I
set out to do versus this job I sort of
fell into. So I just picked up and I moved
to l A. And yeah, and then, oh my gosh,
I have to keeps going. But I started my company four,
which I feel like is where I met you, which
is a fashion e commerce company that lasted for a
few years. And then, um what did I started filming
(09:59):
the Hills? So I know, yeah, I was going to
say in between that time, you so you had a boy.
You had a boyfriend when you moved up to l A. Right,
I was single, but I had just met so I
came out to l A. And I went to a
Halloween party just on a random weekend with some friends
out here, and at that Halloween party, I met Brody okay,
(10:19):
and we had we actually met for everybody was under rock.
He does have a very unique name, though. I feel
like he's kind of he's like a Madonna. You can
kind of just go by the one name and everyone
knows who you're talking about. Anyone I know this kid
is named Brody. Now they always say they got the
name from him. That's true. I guess that was kind
of the first time I ever heard the name Brody. Well,
(10:41):
it's kind of our generation too, so everyone who's having
kids right now. I sort of grew up watching The
Beach in the Hills, so so Brodie and I were
together for about five years at this point, and The
Hills came around and said, hey, we want to do
a reboot and we want to document your life now,
Brodie's life now, and so of course he was with
and then by default I ended up making the show,
(11:03):
which we were really excited to do together because we
had always kind of worked separately. He was dejaying and
on the road all the time, and I was running
for a and so we were both kind of living
sort of separate lives. Um, and that led to us
making Hills, and that's what I'm still doing now. We're
filming our second season. I just launched my own podcast,
The bright Side. It's just it's not stuffing in, but
you know, we're working on it. It's really I mean,
(11:26):
I got to do your podcast and it was just,
I mean, I love you as a human and as
a friend, so I obviously want all the success for
you and everything you do. But um, when it came
down to The Hills, like doing it a second season,
because the first season, there was a lot going on
in your life, like you were going through a split
from Brody and then you were dating Miley, and it
(11:46):
was just kind of a whirlwind all while being on
The Hills. Wasn't not all happening at the same time. Well,
so The Hills was actually airing when all of that
period of time went down. So so I think the
first episode aired maybe three weeks before Brodie and I
split up. Um, and I mean things have been kind
of going downhill for a little while. I mean, I
(12:07):
feel like he and I both kind of knew that
filming the show was in a way. It was sort
of an effort to be able to spend more time
together and sort of redirect our lifestyles a little bit
to see if there was anything we can do to
make our relationship work. But you know, the thing is
that I think the reason he and I ended up
getting married in the first place was because we were
always such good friends, and that is something that we've
(12:28):
been able to salvage through our split, so we still
get along great. Um so we had. I think it
was hard filming the first season because we were so
there were so many difficult things going on in our
lives that everything on the show stressed us out, like
we didn't want to share all of these heavy things
with the world, you know. And I think that's the
mistake probably a lot of people make going on a
(12:50):
reality show, as you think you're gonna be able to
hide the bad parts and just show the good parts.
But that's you can't. That's not possible. They get everything
out of you. And it I learned is that with
an ensemble cast. And I don't know if your experience
was like this on The Bachelor, but if even if
you have a secret and you're not going to talk
about it on camera. They'll feed it to someone else
(13:11):
so that they bring it up and then you have
no choice but to respond or address it, so like
no secret is safe. Um. So it's been interesting going
into season two because I think a lot of the
weight has been lifted, because I don't feel like there's
anything really dark or heavy going on in my life
or anything that I want to hide this time around.
(13:33):
We started refilming in October, and it's a little challenging
now with all of the restrictions from COVID. But um,
all the producers say the same thing to me, like
you're a completely different person now, just every because I
don't all do you know, I'm kind of open to
anything when we're filming now. I just want to have
fun and make a good show and and and actually
(13:55):
I feel like everyone's sort of in that in that
mindset right now. And I guess we're grateful to be,
you know, have a job post COVID, because a lot
of TV shows were canceled in the time that all
of this was going on, and we didn't know what
was going to happen. So I think everyone's excited that
we have a job and we can go film and
um be making something. But yeah, this time around, it's
it's actually really fun. Yeah, it's so much easier. I
(14:17):
mean this past year especially, and even just the past
couple of years having a public platform and being even
having the podcast, it's it's so interesting at like this
year specifically, I went through so much personally, like you know,
with family stuff, and it was just kind of a
heavy year in general, I think for everybody. But it
was hard to do this podcast where I wanted to
(14:38):
be so uplifting and fun and lighthearted while I had
this really heavy stuff going on. But I wasn't you know,
when there's other people involved, you can't share every detail
of your life, and so like trying to be respectful
and balance the personal stuff will also trying to make
the podcast lighthearted and fun was such a challenge for me,
and I finally had to decide, like I just got
(14:58):
to be open and honest and say, I've been going
through some stuff and it's been hard and I'm looking
forward to the other side of it. And um, but
I get what you're saying of like filming something where
you're trying like their stuff going on in your relationship
that you don't really want to talk about but it
prevents you from being open and authentic. Yeah, I mean
(15:18):
half the cast as a show. I would not even
speak to you off camera because I felt like they
were all these I felt like everyone was trying to
kind of attack me, or like they were the bad
guys because they just knew things that I didn't want
everyone to know. And so I became so defensive and
guarded and closed off from everyone. And you know, I
(15:39):
never watched the actual episodes of the Hills because when
it was all airing, it was just so raw and
personal to me, and it felt awkward at the time.
And so I went back and watched them finally right
before we started filming, because I thought, you know, what,
I should see what I liked about last season, what
I want to continue to do, or what I would
do differently. So I finally watched the last season maybe
(16:03):
I guess in October, and I realized that there were
so many group scenes that happened, where all this fun,
kind of cute stuff happened, but Brodie and I weren't
there because we were so uncomfortable with everyone, and we
just wouldn't go film. And it's so much better now
because it's yeah, it's just that pressure is off. When
you're being authentic, you have nothing to hide. And that's
(16:24):
what I realized is that I'm not going to be
able to make a good show, not gonna be able
to make a good podcast unless I just own like
to your point, unless I just own it. You don't
have to give every detail to the world about the
little things, but just to even admit that there's something
you're going through, you know, because people can pick up
on that, and if you're not acknowledging anything, then it's
just weird. And people were like, we can you know
(16:46):
a lot of our listeners were like, the podcast feels
really disconnected right now, And in my head, I'm like
it is. We are from both Tony and I are
both going through stuff, and so I think just being
able to acknowledge that and say like, hey, things are
really not a d sent over here, but we're doing
our best, and that's you are best what we can
give you right now because there's a lot going on.
But I think as soon as we were able to
(17:08):
just admit that, people at least could understand more and
it didn't feel so much like this skills off. But
we don't know what's going on. Yeah, I know that's
so interesting that you say that. I feel like my
when I'm going through something really intense. I won't share
the details of it, but I get way too overly
vocal about whatever I'm doing to recover it. Like all
(17:29):
of a sudden, I'm an expert on on you know,
every kind of relationship therapy or advice and like posting
things every day. I don't know it. For me, it
always has to be some kind of a conversation with everyone.
So even though I'm not explaining to anyone what's going
on in my head, and I'm thinking I'm being subtle,
like well, I'm just going to post this and post
that song lyrics and memes and whatever. I think that's normal.
(17:52):
People do that when they're fine. Uh no, it's not,
because then I look back and now I hardly ever
post anything. And I love back at my archiving like
this is the most emo periods of time ever. Know
You're you're so similar. I mean, I think I did
that too, Like I remember this was a while back,
but I was like obsessed with this guy and he
(18:14):
did not like me back until I thought if I
posted like really inspirational quotes or something that that would
all of a sudden make him want to reach out
to me, which I think of anything, he was like,
this girl's like weird. But Tanya is very much that way,
Like if she's going through something, she's going to post
about like I wish he was here to relate to
you on this because she would do. I bet she
(18:34):
looks at the archive and she's like, Wow, this is
why do you do this. It's like you can't help yourself.
And yeah, if there is somebody that you're interested, like
you're going through a heartbreak and you think it's in
any way going to appeal to that person, like, oh
she posted that inspirational quote, that is it. I'm going
back now. Literally it's it's kind of sad. I actually
(18:57):
it's God, it's a little bit sad because now all
that I look back on it, I think, oh, man,
if I saw my friend doing all this stuff, I
would instantly know that they were going through something bad.
And your X knows that too, I know. And also
I think if someone if I, let's say I was
on the other side like someone I was over a
(19:18):
relationship or someone and then they were posting all that stuff.
I almost feel like I'd be turned off by it.
So I don't know why we continue to do that,
thinking it's gonna change the outcome when really it does
no good. No, it doesn't. And if there's anything that
I could change about my behavior and breakups in the past,
I think it would be that I would I would
(19:40):
just try to be a little more quiet. Yeah, just
shut up. Okay, when you're going through heartbreak, you're just
like doing anything you can, you know, I know, No,
it's true. I think in a way it's cathartic. Maybe
when you're sharing these things with the world, even if
you're not explaining the details, you feel like people are connecting.
I mean, I would get a lot of sponse, which
(20:00):
is probably why I kept doing it, because so many
people would message me and say, oh, thank you, I
needed that, or I'm going through something really hard right now,
which I guess was a reminder that I wasn't the
only one going through that. But I still am a
little embarrassed. No, I mean, we all do it. I
think I think every single person listening to the podcast
(20:20):
can relate to this. You wrote, Um, who was your
article with that? You wrote, I was out last year.
(20:41):
It feels like it doesn't feel like that long ago.
But you wrote an article The l One Yeah, about
your sexuality, yeah, and how you we're kind of like
I'm attracted to who I'm attracted to. I haven't like
late like. I don't know what my label is. I
just like I I like who I like, I love
who I love. And I thought it was I was
(21:03):
so impressed with you when it came out because it
was such a vulnerable um. It was just such a
vulnerable piece of work that was so open and honest,
and I think so many people can relate to of
like you kind of you fall in love with who
you fall in love with, And I think a lot
of people put so much pressure on the title of
(21:25):
of love. Well. I think that was the point that
I really wanted to get across. And as much as
I say I'm embarrassed by all the things I posted
and means and all of that, I'm not at all
embarrassed by the l piece because it was really wrong.
I'm really vulnerable, and it was the feelings that I
was having at the time, but it was also just reality.
Because no one was more surprised that I was all
(21:46):
of a sudden dating one of my girlfriends than I
was like I had if you had asked me a
month before that started. I mean, I when I look back,
I know that I had feelings for her that I
were maybe different from feelings I had for other friends,
but I wasn't recognizing it as that at all, because
in my mind I liked men. I had always dated men,
(22:08):
and there just wasn't really another option. And so I
think I felt like it made sense to share with
other people what I went, what I experienced, because I
think that probably happens, and to me it was kind
of new news, Like I was like, oh, oh, this
could happen. You know, I've heard about women ending up
(22:29):
dating women later in life or whatever, but I it
had never crossed my mind that I would be one
of those people. And then it just happened. And like
I said to by, No, it was entirely unintentional, but
I was very deeply in love with this person and um.
And then the other part of that was that I
always heard that heartbreak really inspires so much creativity, but
(22:51):
I don't think I've really ever had my heartbroken before,
so I didn't really get it until that point in time,
and all of a sudden, all I wanted to do
just create things. So I was like writing poetry and
writing essays. I mean, I wrote so many essays. I
wrote so many poems. I was doing anything I could
to just kind of get everything out. And you know,
so all of that was really cathartic for me, and
(23:13):
that l piece was one of the things that was
super cathartic. But also I had a lot of really
positive response from people who had been through a similar
circumstance or even we're privately going through something like that,
and they were scared to share it with people that
they knew, and I think it just kind of gave
people an opportunity to see that, you know. In fairness,
(23:34):
I think it's really lucky for me that my parents
have always been so supportive that I never even really
had to question or think about what I was doing,
because I just knew they would be cool with it
no matter what, Like maybe they would need to adjust
or kind of gain some perspective into whatever was going on,
but I knew that at the end of the day
they would be okay with it. And I feel very
(23:54):
fortunate that I was in that position. But I kind
of wanted people to see who maybe aren't in that position,
that there are people that they can look up to
our people who are you know, walking the earth who
have had these similar experiences and aren't afraid to just
be open about it and honest Like I was in
a really safe place to be able to do that,
So really lucky in that way. Yeah, it made me
(24:17):
feel very um like challenge to how how like the
response was so positive and I thought it was just
such a great article and I just know, like, you know,
including myself, so many people relate to that experience of
even even aside from sexuality and gender, like people who
(24:39):
have different religions and feel like they can't be with
the person they love because of religious beliefs. It's like
it goes through so many things of the pressure of
feeling like we have to fall in love with who
were traditionally supposed to be in love with. Is um
something that I think a lot of people you need
to move, for a word from, because I think a
(25:01):
lot of people settle for for what they think is right,
or what their parents will prove, or what society will
approve of. Yeah, I think that was the thing too,
was um and I would never put blame on my
parents for this, but in my head, I do feel
like because I was raised very traditionally and by no
(25:23):
means um are my parents homophobic or anything like that,
But they just never really, I don't know, we never
really discussed it as even a possibility, Like they didn't
really introduce that into my life. They just sort of
raised me very traditionally. So in my mind, I feel like,
and I grew up in a small town in New Hampshire,
which I feel like you can relate to from where
you're probably I think if you grew up in l A,
(25:46):
you know, the culture is so diverse and everybody has
different backgrounds, and everybody's sexuality is different, religion and all
of this is so different that it's probably more typical
that people end up, you know, or there you're raised
with that mentality. But like, I could be anything I want,
I can be with anyone I want. But in the
town I grew up in, there really wasn't a whole
lot of diversity or just different kind of relationships, and
(26:08):
so I think it just didn't really cross my mind,
And I sort of wish that it had when I
was younger, because I think it would have been fun
to explore more different types of relationships at a younger age. Yeah,
it's um. I was. I have a friend out here who, like,
from a young age at least knew she was gay,
but she was even because we we've had that conversation
(26:29):
about like, well, in l A, it's different, and she
was like, but it's not so different that I felt
comfortable in my whole life. So it's interesting because he's
from l A. From l A didn't grow up religious
or like conservative, and so it's interesting that that kind
of no matter where you come come from, society is
(26:52):
kind of the same when it comes to that. So
I think it's it's just one of those conversations that
the more that we have it, and that the more
the generation satitions have these conversations with their kids so
that there isn't that um ignorance about it, I guess
is the word, the more it's going to become normal.
You know. I actually have this theory, but this is
(27:14):
based in absolutely no red or science or anything. But
I just have this theory that it might be exactly
the same. It might be just as typical to be
gay as it is to be straight. But just because
of the way that the world has always functioned. Like
back in the day, there was more of a purpose
to men and women becoming couples because you really needed
(27:36):
a family. There wasn't you know, we didn't have the
scientific advantage of advances that we have now where you
have kids if you're a same sex couple. But back
in the day, you really needed a man and woman
because you need a bigger family, because you needed to
be able to make money and support your farm or whatever.
You know, like you needed people to help with the
with the chores, and so that was kind of it
was kind of a survival tactic back then. But we
(28:00):
don't need that now. And I think that it's very
possible that it's just as typical to be gay as
it is to be straight or whatever your your sexuality
is or your gender or whatever. I think that all
of these things are probably more standard and typical than
than we acknowledge, or than anxiety acknowledges. And I think
that eventually we might get to the point where that
(28:21):
becomes clear. Yeah, I agree. I mean I don't think
that there is I don't think that there's more um
l g B t Q people now than there was
back in the day. It's just people are able. They're
safer to be open about it. Not completely safe, but
safer and um more comfortable being able to talk about it.
(28:41):
But I don't I agree with you, Like, I don't
think it's like all of a sudden now people like
we have more people who identify as l g B
t Q. But um, anyways, I'm just really proud of
you as a friend and proud to know you, especially
during that time, because it was like there was so
much going on in your life and I thought you
handled it with so much grace and um you just
(29:02):
like vulnerable definitely not always behind closed doors. Well you
know where it counted. You share than you know. I
really appreciate it. That means a lot to me. And also, honestly,
I feel like the biggest thing getting through that was
having friends like you that I knew supported me no
matter what and having my back no matter what, and
I felt like I could. I really had a good
group of people in my life that I was so
(29:24):
grateful for that that helped me so much to get
past all of that. Yeah, having good friends, having a
good support system is just honestly everything in life. I
have to say, like any struggle, any challenges, it's so
important to have people around you who make you feel
supported and cared for no matter what decision do you make. UM.
(29:48):
We're going to take a break and hear from our
amazing sponsors and we'll be right back with more. Okay,
we are back with Caitlin Carter. So you do all
(30:12):
of this stuff and the UM you know, you're in
the spotlight, you're on the hills. You have like had
these very public romances, but you also do some amazing
work with like UM charitable organizations. UM. Right now, you're
working with the American Wild Horse Campaign, and I wanted
you to talk a little bit about that because I
(30:33):
did not grow up with horse. I'm actually I have
like fear of horses, and they made me ride a
horse one time on the Bachelor and I will never
forgive them for that because it started running. I was
not a trained horse rider and the horse started running.
So I would like to hear more about what you
do UM for the horses. Well, I mean, first of all,
(30:54):
I'm such a huge animal lover. So almost all of
the charitable organizations I work with our animal organization, UM,
but this one, the American Wild Horse Campaign. I came
across kind of by chance on Instagram, and I was
immediately really intrigued because I knew that there are wild
horses living in the US, but I didn't understand a
(31:16):
lot of the challenges that they were facing. And I
grew up um attending a horseback riding summer camp every year,
and horses have always been a really big part of
my life. Whenever I feel really stressed or overwhelmed, I
always will go find a horse at a stable that
I can like feed, or just hang out with or groom.
I just love being around them. I think they have
such a nice energy, so essentially the opposite of how
(31:38):
you feel. I mean, they're so so peaceful and and
that's where I feel very relaxed. So when I came
across this organization, they were really quite small. They had
just gotten started. But what they're doing is um or.
I guess what's going on is all of these wild
horses are there's a huge population of wild horses in
(31:59):
the country, and they all live on American public lands,
and the government prefers for those lamps to be used
for cattle farming because it's a lucrative business. And otherwise
the horses are just really chilling there and living their
life and they're not, you know, making money for anyone.
So they would rather have the cattle be able to
use the resources on the land than the horses. So
(32:23):
what they do is they round the horses up and
they use helicopters to do this, and it's really traumatizing
for the horses. A lot of them die in the
process because they will either have a heart attack or
they'll run into something. It's really sad. Actually, I kind
of always feel bad when I tell the story because
it's it is really sad. But they'll run into fences
(32:43):
and break their necks or break their legs and they
have to be put down, like they A lot of
a lot of horses die in the process of being
rounded up, and then if they survived that process, they
are either held in a government pen. So right now
in the US, fifty horses are living in these little
tiny government pens. And so they went from having thousands
and thousands of miles of land to just roam and
(33:04):
be free to living in a little tiny dirt pen
and they can't go anywhere. It's really sad. And then
a lot of them are auctioned off to other countries
who send them to slaughter houses and they're killed for meat.
So they just really don't it's it's not a great way,
it's not a humane way to handle the horse population.
So the American Wild Horse Campaign has actually spent a
(33:25):
lot of money going and this is what they use
the money people donate for, which is doing research and
creating uh sterilization techniques so they can actually go out
into the wild and dart these horses with a little
injection that sterilizes them so they aren't reproducing, so just
to keep the population control down but in a humane
(33:46):
way where they don't even know that something just happened
to them, but they just won't be able to have
babies anymore. So that's kind of the work that the
organization is now doing, and it just needs the support
of local lawmakers and in each state. So so that's
kind of what they're trying to do, is just raise
awareness so that people, because of the American population, supports
(34:09):
be what the American Wild Horse Campaign is trying to do.
But lawmakers just they don't really have any reason to it.
So we need people to call their local representatives and
pay attention when these bills are being passed and anyone
who's interested in in supporting it. The American Wild Horse
Campaign UM on Instagram is at free wild Horses and
(34:30):
they constantly they're so good about updating with you know,
okay it's time to call these legislators or you know,
they keep you really posted on how you can be
involved and what we can do to help the horses.
That's amazing. I mean, it's so there. There's just so
much that we don't know about until we we get
to talk to someone like you who's you know, part
of this campaign and their mission. And it's really informative
(34:54):
because I had no idea and in my mind, I'm like,
as you're telling me this, I'm like, well, what can
we do to get them out of the pins? But
it's kind of like how I mean, you see how
the government works and how the law make It's like
we can only do so much. So the goal right
now is to limit population so that there's not more
horses being in this position? Is that right? Until there's
(35:16):
another solution. So that's a part of it. And then
you know, there are a lot of people like the
woman who the President of American wild Horse Campaign. Her
name is Ellie. She's got a big ranch up in
northern California which I went and visited, and she's rescued
over two d fifty wild horses from from slaughter auctions.
She actually bought the horses by the pound, that's how
they auction them, because they're intended for me. And she
(35:36):
bought all these horses and just set them fear on
her ranch. So I think, you know, if there are
people who want to get involved, who hasn't, who have
land and they want to rescue horses, if there are
people who just want to donate to the cause, if
you just want to share that you even learned about this,
because like you said, I was in the same position
as you and I found this campaign. I had no
idea that this was even happening to these horces. I
didn't know they were being killed and rounded up and
(35:58):
I didn't know that, And so I think that's been
the biggest thing. And from the time I discovered an
American wild Horse campaign, the number of people following them
and paying attention has grown exponentially, and they've been able
to have a lot of success in changing legislation in
different states and getting horses better protected. So it's working,
which is great to see you actually can see progress
(36:19):
and it's it's very encouraging. But yeah, it's just you know,
getting people to not understand and know that this is
even an issue. Yeah, well, thank you for sharing about that.
I mean, like I said, that's something I think everyone
should just be aware of of what's going on outside
of our little bubbles that we, you know, like we
live in. And because I and I don't find peace
(36:40):
around horses being near them, I do have a heart bread.
I cried seeing a squirrel this morning, Like I the
thought of animals being heard as like I I, it's
devastating no matter, you know. And I think one day
I'll have a relationship with horses. It just hasn't happened yet. Well,
but I don't like to work on that together. Maybe
the ranch or something. Yeah, I would love, I mean,
(37:02):
I really there there is potential for resolve there, but
I don't want. I want them to be free. Um okay,
wait what was the Instagram again? Free wild but it's
free wild horses. Yeah, okay, cool, everyone can check that out. Um,
so are you right now? Are you currently in a relationship,
are you single? What's your stat Do you talk about
(37:24):
that still? I well, okay, So I made the mistake
of saying when I was on Nick Files podcast that
I was never going to have a public relationship again
and everything. And I think what I meant by that
was just that I don't want to have a relationship
that's like in the tabloids, you know what I mean.
I don't want to do events like overly public things.
(37:47):
But I'm not I certainly would never want to hide
somebody I'm dating. I don't. I would not appreciate that
if I was dating someone hiding me. Um. No. I
have a boyfriend and we we've been dating is may
um and everything's going really well. It's really I It's
funny because a lot of my friends will ask me
how's everything going, and all I can ever say it's
(38:08):
going really well because it's like the most seamless, chill relationship.
I just feeling like it's strangely easy easy. I've never
had a relationship that was just easy. And I also
feel like, and not to I don't want to put
anyone else down, but I feel like he's the first
like adults that I've ever dated where he's like super
(38:28):
more mature than me by far. Like he's so I
don't know he Um. His name is Chris Um and
he's the founder and creative director of a company called
Brock Collection. So he's a fashion designer. And I like
to say he's the gayest straight man I know because
he's so he's so into fashion and he's so I mean,
(38:50):
we have a lot of like kind of feminine things
in common, which is I'm into skating, and he's like
from Texas, and so he's like a ranch guy's so
hand and he's like loves horses. He's a dream. Um.
What's really funny is I took him riding for the
first time in his life. He had never been horseback riding,
even though he grew up on a ranch in Texas,
day of the cows and everything, but not a horse
(39:11):
wo um. And so I took him riding for the
first time in Utah, and he was always you know,
he because he's Texans, so he's like cowboy, but he
just doesn't ride horses. So he's always talking about he's
a cowboy, Like you're not a cowboy if you don't
ride horses. I'm sorry. So I took him riding for
the first time, and thinking it's going to be this
mellow ride. We were in Zion National Park and the
(39:34):
views are stunning. We're gonna go for the sunset ride.
And we get on the horses and we were walking
for maybe two minutes. Agos I want to go fast,
and we just go fast. It's like Ricky Bobby and
He's like, I just want to go fast, and and
so I looked at the guy to you goes, we
can do whatever you guys want. And Chris just like
kicks a horse and takes off at a gallop down
this trail. Never ridden before in his life, and he's
(39:58):
so comfortable. We're done riding. He looked at me and
he goes, I'm a cowboy really honestly, you really are,
because that's most of you. Can't just do that. And
then I asked him too, because he was riding he
was kind of snacking the horse with the reins a
little bit on his butt to get his go faster,
and said, where the hell did you come up with that?
Why are you doing? He well, I was just doing
(40:18):
what I see in the movie. Okay, Well, I had
a different experience when my horse started running, and I
wish I had the footage because it used to be
on on the like on the internet, but I can't
find it anywhere because was this on The Bachelor. Yeah,
and there was a go pro on the like handle,
So it was like this upward angle of me fully
(40:40):
panicked but trying to play it cool. Did your saddle
had a horn in the front? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the handle.
So I was riding Western and um we took They
told me they gave me like the mellow horse, and
there was a little donkey and it kept irritating my horse,
and so my horse starts running through the trail. I'm
(41:01):
like trying to play it cool because it's my first
one on one day and it is just full panic.
Like I got off the horse and was shaking. All
the producers looked like they were all so concerned. It
was like, are you okay? I think they were working
like no one was prepared for it. Yeah right, They're like, uh,
you're good, right, And then I had to get back
on the horse to go to our picnic area. It
(41:22):
was I would like to have a redo and have
it happened like Chris's did you know, Yeah, you would
think that were you out of the country, when that happened. No,
I was in South Dakota. Oh interesting, because I was
going to say, I've been on several trips where I'll
stay at a resort in Indonesia Bally or something area
or Mexico or something, and they're like, yeah, the horses chill,
(41:42):
and then you get on and they are clearly not
properly trained or whatever. It's like a totally but here,
usually the resorts have such strict insurance policies and codes
they have to abide by that they are usually kind
of more straightforward. So it was nothing like our camel
ride and Calva that one time there that is still
(42:03):
one of my favorite. That was the most ridiculous thing
I think I've ever done in only because of the
helmets with the I have to tell us. So we
go to um Cabo and we stayed at this amazing result.
It was with Foray Um Caitlin's business at the time.
Are you still associated with for a No. We ended
up just kind of rolling it into another company, and
(42:23):
I felt aside about a year and a half ago. Yeah,
So when we were working together, we went to Cabo
and we were there was like a bunch of influencer
bloggers and so we you know, were there to take
beautiful photos and shoot content. And we were so excited
because we had this camel ride booked and we had
these visions of like being on the beach. Was on
(42:45):
the beach and having like our dresses flowing behind us
with like the camel. It was like gonna be gorgeous.
And we get there and they make us put on
a helmet with like a sheet over our head as
like tradition for the cam. Well, I don't really remember
what the rules were, but Caitlin was so upset that
(43:05):
she's like arguing with the guy in her helmet, like
it was impossible to take her weather veil over the helmet,
which I think protect us from the sun. But see,
I thought it was more of like the camel's feeling
safe for something. I don't know. We looked at little
Darth Vaders. That's what I think every time I see that.
(43:26):
We looked like little Darth Vaders or the or the
soldiers that work for him, you know. So we're all
in like these amazing outfits, like with our dresses and
skirts and then our helmets on. So the photos were
some of my favorites, but not what we envision. Yeah,
I don't think we could use them for any professional
Persusine got a lot of laughs out of them. They
(43:47):
try to find that photo to post in Cohen's talk
about the podcast. Yeah, I know we should just share
it because people. I mean, it was so insane. I
feel like, yeah, that was like the photo that never died,
and we would send it to each other at least
once a year. That might be going making it surrounds
again this year. I was. The thing was that everyone
(44:10):
found so funny was that I was like throwing a
fit to the guides because I was like this, our
photos are going to be terrible. This is unacceptable, And
I'm on my phone texting trying to get them to
change whatever. And I've got this massive helmet with a
veil on as I'm so angry marching around. It was
I'll never forget it. Ali and I still talk about
(44:31):
that moment. It was awesome. Um so, what you're filming
the hills right now? When? Like how long does that go?
So we are so yeah, we started filming in October.
We're scheduled to film through February. Um, but of course
with the delays with COVID, I think it'll probably get
extended beyond that. It took us the first season a
(44:53):
year to finish filming because we actually filmed for three
months and with a different show runner, and then they
scrap all of that material because it was just everyone
was just so uncomfortable and it was it was not
good um, and so we re shot the entire show.
And so it took us a year to get the
first season done, And it's now taking us a year
(45:13):
because we started filming in February and we film for
two weeks and how to stop got that. So it's
kind of wild. It just takes so long to get
these shows made. But I do think though I honestly
worked really hard to not have to film the Hills
again because I was like, you know, that's kind of
my old life and it's with Roody, and I just
want to move forward and do my own project. And
(45:34):
I wasn't able to get out of my contract, which
at the time I was really upset about. But now
I'm really grateful, because of course for the work, but
also because we're having a lot of fun and I
actually feel like we're making a really good show this
time around. I'm so excited. I think everyone just excited to,
like you said, not only to be having work, but
just to be doing something that feels somewhat normal. I
(45:54):
think everyone's just once normalcy, and even the viewers like
to have that something to walk much. And it's kind
of like when they when they decided they were going
to do The Bachelor Bachelorette and everyone's like, well, they're
only in Palm Desert, They're not leaving. I was like,
who cares, Like we're getting this feels like our normal
life with these shows on. Yeah, I mean, I think
(46:15):
that it is really nice to have some kind of
sense of normalcy and be back. I I don't do
well when I don't have a lot of work on
my plate because I feel really anxious, and I always
feel better when I've got a consistent work schedule. Um,
I just like to be busy, you know. And so
it's which I'm sure a lot of people can relate to,
but me, quarantine has been really hard for everyone. But
I'm so grateful it's back. And and then I'm actually
(46:36):
excited and I want to do some kind of big fun,
you know party when it airs and find hopefully we'll
be at the point in time where we can actually
do that, and you know, yeah, so life's took going
pretty good right now. I know. I'm so happy for you.
Thank you again for coming on and co hosting with me.
It was such a fun way to end. This is
the last last show of the season. Well, Mark and
(46:58):
Easton are going to do a bonus episode, but as
far as it's my last show of the season, so
thank you for joining me. Thank you. I me use
my pleasure. It's like the highlight of my week month
here I'm going out with the bang, with the the
credit you're giving this show. I truly appreciate it. Um,
I'll let you go enjoy your aspen bak enjoy. Sorry,
(47:21):
thank you for taking time out of your trip to
record and it's um. I love you, I'm proud of you,
and hopefully I'll get to see you soon. Yes, okay, alright, bye,
all right, everybody, Thank you again for such an amazing year.
Thank you, and we love you and cannot wait to
(47:44):
see you in one Mark and Easton will be doing
a bonus episode for your listening pleasure. I was gonna
say viewing pleasure. Unfortunately, they won't be doing a shirtless
video episode. It will just only be Okay, I don't
know that, but as of now that's what I know,
used to know. I'm going to put out a calendar
(48:05):
for next year. The boys are scrubbing in just like
different poses in the closet and in the office plan. Um,
So if you all want to do I would do
like ask ask Easton and Mark advice because those are
two of the literally the greatest guys that you'll find
(48:25):
in at least America. So I don't know what the
guys are like overseas, but I can say in America, Um,
thank you all, Love you all. Happy New Year, Merry Christmas,
happy holidays, celebrating whatever you celebrate, enjoy um time with
your family. If you can't be with your family, just
(48:46):
know that you're avoiding maybe controversial conversations that could have happened,
and you're avoiding them. I'm I'm about to set off
on a four day journey home. So oh, good luck,
thank you so much. Good luck to me, good luck
to my sisters. Is it's gonna be fun. I'm excited.
I've never I've never just taken time. I've driven from
(49:07):
Louisiana to California one time. But we just drove like
we didn't. We just got here, So this will be
my first time stopping and seeing places, so I'm excited.
But I love you guys. Thank you all for everything
you do. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and um, I
love you all.