May 6, 2020 • 44 mins
When are Jared and Ashley going to have kids....we get an update. And, Dean & Caelynn may have already added to their family!
Plus, Dean and Caelynn open up about their future together, since their anniversary is coming up!
Dean & Jared talk to the breakout superstar of 90 Day Fiance… Big Ed! We get all the inside info on his relationship with Rose, including what caused their biggest fight!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hell I Suck It Dating with Ungler Jared Haven and
I heart radio podcast What is Up, Sucky Daters? Welcome
back to a brand new episode of Help I Suck
at Dating. I'm being unglerts joined all the way across
the country with Jared Haven and of course Tory in
(00:22):
some in descript bath bedroom and some I don't know, yes,
but I don't know where exactly in the country. She
is probably California. But Jared, how are you? I'm dandy.
I'm doing well, just one day at a time. That's
the only thing we can do during this freaking thing.
But everybody's doing you know, staying safe. Everybody's doing well.
We're all healthy. That's all we can ask for. Ashley
(00:44):
and I find are are like fighting over smaller things
now more often. But I'm pretty sure that's got to
be normal for every couple. Give us, give us an
example of what you guys are fighting over. Um, it's
not like big fights. It's just more of like annoyances.
For example, we were trying to find something too. We
were trying to watch a movie the other night and
I I suggested Mission Impossible too because she hasn't seen it.
(01:10):
And then she's like, no, I don't want to watch that.
I was like, okay, that's fair, that would be my pick.
And then she wanted to watch I don't remember what
it was, but it was it was a rom com
and I was like, I don't feel like watching, you know,
a romance movie. And then we were trying to pick
a movie in the middle, and I suggested something like
a like a good drama, and she's like, we never
(01:30):
watched movies I want to watch and I was like, well,
I feel like I know. I was like, I feel
like we're watching movies that we both enjoyed, Like we
just watched Molly's Game and we just watched I figured
out what else. But and then she goes She's like,
she's like, I just feel like you're being selfish, and
I was like, selfish, we're picking an equal movie, Like
I suggested an action movie, you suggested a romance movie.
(01:52):
We're meeting in the middle here, and question is why
wouldn't you just be on board with whatever movie she
picks in just like be on your phone the whole time. Well,
that would be a dick move. See, I think it
would be worse because there's nothing that bothers me more
than if there's a movie I want to show someone
and then they're on the phone. For example, I showed
Ashley The Dark Knight like two years ago because she
(02:13):
was like, I don't get it. I saw it once
and I was like, you're gonna get this freaking movie.
You're gonna get it, and you're gonna like it. So
we watched it twenty minutes and then she was on
her phone and I was like, actually, I'm gonna lose
it because I really need you to just focus, pay attention,
to appreciate, and really put effort into thinking you might
like this, and if you don't like it, hey, we'll
go our separate rays and figure things out later. But
at least put the effort in. Now. That's a good point,
(02:34):
I guess. I guess I didn't think of that. I
just had thought because the she picked the movie that
you had already seen and like definitely maybe or something
like that. No, no, no, no, no no no. It was
a movie that she has seen and she's like, oh,
I could I could watch this And I was like,
I'm kind of not in the mood for a romance
right now, and so I thought I wasn't being that selfish,
because you know, I suggested an action movie and then
(02:57):
she was like, hey, let's watch a romance movie. And
I was like, right, neither one is gonna win on
that one, so let's go in the middle and watch
a movie we can both enjoy it. Do you find
it helpful to have Ashley's parents there with you kind
of as like an intermediary? Um? No, I mean, like
I said, the good thing about Ashley and eyes even
when we fight, it's it's really it is far and
few between. And uh because we just, like I've always said,
(03:20):
our friendship is so good that we really know how
to handle each other. But her parents being here, I
don't know, that's a good question. And if there, I
would say it's probably worse for um. Uh, Like I
don't want to say worse for our relationship, but worse
for when we're fighting, because then it makes me feel
super awkward because her parents can hear, and then she
(03:42):
uses them as more of a crutch instead of just
hashing it out with me. Uh. But yeah, they like
team up on you the I connects versus versus Jared.
It sounds like, well, right now, there's four against one.
So um sl if that's gonna happen. I got Lois
on my side, that's about it, And even her, she's yeah,
it doesn't seem like you're gonna win too many arguments
(04:03):
over there. Well. Hey, on the bright side, it seems
like things are slowly starting to go back to normal,
at least getting closer to Yeah, yeah, I mean it is.
It's still a little nerve racking scary because I just
I don't know what's going to happen when the restrictions left, Like,
for example, are you how comfortable are you going back
into public and going back into the crowded areas well,
I'm not quite as much about hypochondriac as you are,
(04:24):
So I honestly not gonna have any issue. I'm not
gonna be going to bars or like I guess it
probably wouldn't really be going to shopping centers either. But
I won't have an issue going to the beach, going
hiking out in the you know, the parks and stuff
like that. But I can see like if if but
you guys don't really go to that many bars either,
Like if people were like great like partying all the
time before the quarantine, I can see them being like, oh,
(04:46):
like things are never gonna be the same again. But
I feel like for the most part, I guess there
probably won't be like as many movie from premiers for
you and actually to attend um and like those types
of events probably will be a little bit fewer and
farther between. Yeah, I've just been going to the movies,
going out to dinner, like, I mean, granted, it's just
gonna change restaurants with Paul would be halful even like dude, flying,
you know, I mean, Ashley and I we were lucky
(05:09):
that a lot of the things we had to do
we we traveled for. And that's kind of I don't know,
I don't feel like being on a plane for six hours,
you know, I know, I know they say it's pretty
safe with the fresh air and as long as you're
wearing a mask. But still I'm not worried about flying.
The only bummer for for me that strands flying specifically
is that so many airlines are cutting their their airplane
(05:30):
uh what's the word of looking for like availability, So
they're gonna flights are essentially gonna get more expensive over time,
which seems like a bummer too. But I'm not really
terribly worried about the germs per se. I don't know
it's gonna be. I have a question for you, Uh one,
have you always had an earring? Because I'm looking at
you and you have an earring now and too. How
(05:52):
does Caylen feel about it? I've always had my ears pierced. Yeah,
I've had both ears pierced. I have two pierce things
into my left ear, but I only have one hearing
and now. Uh, she's supportive of the of the I
got a dangly like little bar gold earring in there
right now. You know, it's just nice to spice it
up a little bit and keep it fresh. Mix it
up might as well. We've got nothing better to do
in this quarantine. Are you wearing earrings in both ears?
(06:13):
Are just the left? Um? I haven't worn earrings in
both years since I was probably in college, but as
recently as like last year, maybe a year or two ago,
I had two piercings in my left lobe. Uh. So
I had like two little mini hugger hoops uh in
my left ear, which I really appreciate that look, but
I think one of them closed up. Uh. And so
(06:33):
I only have one hole in my left ear now.
But yeah, like I said, you know, I just like
to keep it fresh, keep it interesting. That's kind of
why I played around the facial hair a little bit.
I've got a nice little bun going on today too,
because it's hot here in l A. But it keeps
the look fresh too. You have the mustache, you have
an earring, and you're wearing a headband and you have
your hair in a bun. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I
look in the mirror, I don't even know who I am,
and that's kind of exciting for me. Even too, I'm like, whoa,
(06:54):
who is this guy? You're hideous. But it's cool to, like,
you know, have someone around the house. I guess. Yeah,
it's like groundhog Day. So at least, yeah, you get
to change your personality every day. Tori, how do you
feel about guys with earrings? Oh? Great question, that's on
fall of them. Sounds like she um doesn't want to
(07:16):
answer honestly because she knows it's gonna hurt my feelings.
I think that's done right. It can be attractive, but
I'm I have a hard time with the dangle. But
then I'm also like, I don't want Nicholas Shade Studs. Yeah,
I do remember a couple I think back in jan No,
in January February, I came to the studio to recording
(07:36):
episode must of the January and I had the dangle
earring and the dog and the cutches, and Tori was
very critical of my dangle. I feel like Tory would
be critical of you no matter what you do, because
that's what she just likes, ridiculing you. It's not critique,
it's that I know his potentials. Let's motivate. You know,
where do you think, Tory, where do you think Dean
has reached his most potential? Like, at what point throughout
(07:59):
your friendship did you you think Dean is at his
peak right now? Right now? I think every day, and
it's a new it's a new peak for me. I
think it was right before the leg injury. Yeah, you
were like going out, you were happy, you were in nature,
Calin was tagging along, you had your dog, like everything
was like great. And then I think that kind of
didn't like hinder your peak. But you were just like
(08:20):
definitely peaking then for sure. And then I broke my
leg in my life got ruined basically. Yeah, no, yeah,
I would I would agree with that. Um, we also
are fostering a dog as of an hour ago today,
so we have a little sister for Pappy. So that's
kind of exciting for us. What's the name? I think
it's im Sorry, you think it's some weird, uh foreign
(08:46):
name I'm not familiar with. I call her Frolio. But
you just pete on the carpet in this in this
room I'm broadcasting from so Star. She just turned to
and she just had a litter of puppies and so
she's got some nice, uh curvaceous teets, if you will.
But we thought my thought process behind it was since uh,
(09:08):
since Patty has been so down and out lately with
his like oar threat is and his teeth, I wanted
to have like a nice, sexy young female walking around
the house to maybe like breathe a little bit of
spark into him, Yeah, make him young again. Yeah, and
uh you yet to see it, but he's been fighting
for our attention ever since, which is like kind of
nice to see him, you know, get a little bit
more motivated for some pets. Is there potential that you'll
(09:28):
keep throw young? Absolutely not. Oh please, I feel like
you said the same thing about Pappy. I know I
did say the same thing about Happy, but Pappy was
an exception. He's just an amazing dog and as great
as Throw You seems to be, Pappy needed us a
lot more than I think Throw You will, so uh,
you know, she's a little bit younger. She's got some
spunk and some cuteness too, and Peppy's cute. But he
(09:50):
was like so old that if we didn't adopt him,
he probably would have died in the shelter or something,
you know, which is a little bit of a different,
different circumstance. Yeah, it's interesting. And Tory said your peak
was right before you broke your leg, because I feel
like since that incident happened, you and Klin have become
a lot stronger, even though you guys were strong relationship beforehand,
just from her going there and taking care of you,
(10:11):
and now you guys are obviously in quarantine together. I
guess I would say that I would disassociate my peak
with my relationship, though, you know, like my personal peak
is different than the strength of my relationship. I feel
like Ashley would kill me if I said that I
was I was at my peak before we got together.
I think they're just two separate mountains with two different peaks.
You can peek on your own on this mountain over here,
(10:33):
and then the relationship peak is over here, and then
actually got her on mountain that she's on by herself
over there. They're all you know, it's all uh evan
and flowing together. That's how I look at Yeah, I'll
try to explain that to her and just let me
know how it goes. Hopefully it'll be around next week.
To your point earlier about like getting in small petty arguments,
I mean, we definitely do the same thing, even just
(10:53):
just yesterday. I can't remember what we were arguing about,
but of something so so so silly, and it's just like,
what is it? Is it just that the fact that
we're spending too much time around each other is that
we're all cooped up in this little apartment. We can't
do the things that we want to do. I don't know,
it's just I feel myself being more irritable. I like
see myself getting annoyed at things, and I'm like, dude,
what are you getting annoyed at that? For? You know
(11:14):
what I mean? So hopefully, hopefully this is all just
a means to an end. I think it will be.
And I know it's interesting because today, like this time,
is supposed to be a time full of perspective. You know,
as long as we're healthy and doing well and we
have a roof over our head and food, that we
should be doing all right. But I agree with you.
I found myself more irritable as well, and I take
it out on Ashley sometimes and she does the same
(11:34):
with me. But you know, that's just a relationship. And
that's why you know, you put a ring on it,
because even in times where you guys fight, you realize
that you know, the sun will rise again and you
guys are gonna be fine. You still love each other
and everything is gonna be a okay, just like this podcast.
It's this podcast is going to be a plus. You
want to know why, Dean, because our peak, yours and
(11:54):
mys peak, our relationship peak is still ahead of us. Well,
I was gonna say it's Tories peak, but yeah, I
mean that too. Hey, I've got a question for you
in your relationship. I'm sorry to sidebar here, but I
do remember the talk of children coming up a couple
of weeks ago. Has that been discussed between you and
actually all lately, um no, I mean nothing's changed. Yeah,
(12:15):
we discuss it. We still wanna maybe try started having
kids later this year. It's it's it's scary, man, It's
just it's it's it's nerve racking about you know, uh,
the idea of bringing a human in and then you
know that human being is your responsibility and your responsibility
(12:36):
only and don't f up because if you do, there
will be some serious consequences. It's scary also wonderful. Um Like,
I think about my parents, you know, and her parents
and giving them a grandchild, and that makes me very happy.
Well for what it's worth. And I'm sure you've heard
this before. I think you make your fantastic father. Well
thank you, Tina, I hope so. I appreciate that. And
(12:59):
on my side of things, I can't wait to be
a godfather. Like that's gonna be a great feeling. Uh
you all we all know Nick is gonna just guilt
me into making him the god I'll take. I'll take
the title. That's fun uncle, even though I'm obviously not
blood related. But um I, I have you talked about
to Klin about the future at all? I mean, yeah,
(13:20):
we talked about it. We don't really know what it holds.
But we're we're coming up on our one year anniversary.
I think in about like a month and a half
will be at I'm sorry, Yeah, and a month and
a half will be at our year anniversary. Like we're
coming up on eleven months. For me, is a feat
in and of itself. That's a long relationship for it.
For me, that's the peak of year right there. Yeah,
(13:40):
it's not quite the peak, but it's close to the
longest relationship I've ever been in. Uh, we talk about
things we don't really it's so in so much uncertainty,
like you said, Uh, but we're happy with where we
are as a couple now and we're not in any
rush to change anything, and we're just taking it one
day at a time. But you know, it's constant communication
(14:01):
about that step to that way. There's no h blind sides.
I guess if you will, do you want to be
a father? Does she want to be a mom? Ah,
that's a good question. I don't know. I don't really
know how to answer that. I think that we both
want to be parents, but we don't know what that means.
If we're ready for it. Obviously we're not ready for
it at the moment. Otherwise we would make an effort
(14:21):
to be Uh. I personally don't. Although I've wanted to
have kids my entire life. The older I get, seemingly
the less I want to have children for whatever reason. Uh.
And so that that could change, if you know, I
wake up one day and decide otherwise. But at the
end of the day, it's just I would have thought
(14:43):
if you asked, like fifteen year old Dean, how many
kids I would have when I was twenty nine, I
would probably say, you know, I've got like a family
of three, three little kids running around. I think all
of us at that age are probably pretty optimistic. We're
gonna have a lot of children. Then. Um. But yeah,
the little older I get, the more and more I
start to think about how I I could see a
life without children, but I could also see life with children.
(15:04):
But the look the weird thing I feel like I'm
rambling here. The weird thing about I guess maybe the
fortunate thing about my scenario situation is I've got an
older brother who's nine years older than I am. So
he's thirty eight, Well, he's thirty seventy thirty eight this year,
he's getting married, doesn't have any kids, but he still
could have kids. Like I could always look at myself
essentially nine years into the future and be like, Okay, cool,
(15:24):
I've got nine years to essentially reach the same standard
that my brother has reached. You know, your biological clock
isn't ticking, not even that. It's just like, you know,
he's kind of maintained this uh this, what's you know,
Peter pan like childlike vigor that you know, we all
have his kids and he's like super playful. And I
always look at him and I like, okay, cool. If
(15:45):
he can be that way at that age, then I
know that I can at least be that at that
age as well, which gives me nine years to like,
you know, continue to figure out exactly what I want. Yeah, no,
that makes sense. I look at my parents and I'm
just very grateful, Like I I think about what I'd
be able to love my kid as much as my
parents have loved me, and and sacrifice as much as
they sacrifice. You know what all parents do where they
(16:08):
just you know, their their life is now all about
you and that's uh, that's the ultimate sacrifice. So well,
especially for us, for us too. There was a guy
that I met when I was getting my stoopl license
a couple of years ago who was, like, he was
a really young father. I think he had his first
kid when he was like nineteen or something like that. Uh,
And at the time, I was twenty seven, and he
was I did it right, Like, you're you should have
(16:30):
kids really really young, because now I'm turning forty five
and my kids are already grown up and they're out
of the house, and I've got like a second life
again with my wife, and you know, I've got my
friends and my kids who are my friends now. So
there's kind of like two sides of the story where
it's like you could have kids really young and then
be a young parent and then be young when they
go off to college and start throw own lives. Or
you could spend your youth, you know, deciding if you
(16:51):
want to have children, and then you know, when you're
in Nash's case, have children your early thirties and then
I don't know, it's just there's so many right ways
to do it, you know. Yeah, you know, I agree.
It's so weird sometimes how I hear people describe being
a parent though, because like you said, he talked about like,
oh I got it, like I got it over with
kind of thing, like I was able to raise them
my kids, and I love them and now I have
(17:11):
a whole new life, and it's like, well not to
be addict. Do you regret giving up that aspect of
your life because now you see that you have it back?
I don't know. But then they're like, I wouldn't change
a thing because I love my kids more than anything.
And you only realize how much you love them when
you finally, like have children. I don't know. It's interesting,
but I don't know. Anyway, we have a great guest
(17:32):
on the podcast. We should have to break some sponsors
because we've been rambling for a little while, but we
have Ed brown On also known as Big D from
ninety Fiance Before the ninety Days um which we were
very excited to talk to him, So we're going to
hear from him right after the short break Welcome back
(17:57):
to help I suck at dating. We have a very
special st on the air right now. You know him
from Fiance Before the ninety Days, which is airing Sundays
on t l C at eight p m. It is
Ed Brown, also known as Big Ed Big Head. Thank
you so much for joining us. Thanks man, peace out awesome?
Are you doing glad to be here? So you're down
(18:19):
in San Diego quarantine and how's everything going well? So, I, um,
it's going pretty good. It's like, um, it's like a
ghost town. I work in little Italy about fifteen minutes away,
so we keep our door locked. So we're considered a
what do you call it? Um? Um? What do they
call him? Not necessity but essential? Essential? There you go. Yeah,
(18:40):
So I do intore design during the day. I do
these huge design projects and I have contractors and and
people I gotta order product through. So um. But it's
weird because I'm next to the oldest bar in city.
It's called the Waterfront. They've been they have liquor license
number one and for I've been at this show room
for four years and people would be seven m would
(19:00):
be drinking champagne right and now it's closed. It's just weird.
It's crazy times. We're living in my friend, well, I
mean crazy times for you specifically. How's everything going with
all of the you know, fanfare, You're getting all the attention?
Oh yeah, it's it's kind of crazy. Um Like I
didn't realize. When I first started the film with TLC,
(19:23):
one of the producers, we were looking for what they
call my hero shot, which just kind of that that
still shot they show you, and we're walking around Biboa
Park and um, Harry's I'm like, Harry Man, they're filming
me with drones on my vest. But everybody in seeing
Diego's gonna know who I am. And He's like, everybody
in the world is gonna know who you are and
everything that they they told me, Um that I didn't
(19:45):
expect what happened has happened. So it's it's insane. I
have I can't tell you. I'm like over, I'm just
my I g alone. I have over thirty eight million
impressions and I don't even know what that means. I
was want to find on Instagram. I had trouble finding you.
How do I find on Instagram? Oh this is a
big d just big head. Okay, no, no, this is
(20:07):
big and then look from my my fat head sticker.
Oh it's all right, Teddy can be annoyed. I understand.
I have a very annoying voice. Um so, and you
obviously got on ninety day fiance, you were talking to
Rose Um. Yes, well, the show is still airing, so
(20:27):
you're you're still talking to Rose. But from my understanding,
you started talking to Rose on social media, added her
as a friend on Facebook, and then three months later
you bought a ticket to go see her, which is
later on the time that you got on fiance. That's correct,
That's that's how it wouldn't happen. I've never heard of
the show or the franchise before my daughter had and
(20:49):
my ex wife. That's why my daughter kind of freaked
out when I told her that I was thinking about
being on the show. So I bought a ticket. I
posted it on Facebook and all my friends and my
buddy rich Um that actually sent me the link. I
filled it out. You know, fifty four year old in
love with a twenty three year old with a twenty
nine year old daughter, and he already bought a ticket.
(21:10):
I mean I was. They texted me within two hours
and I was on the phone with them at seven
thirty the next day. They took a look at my
my social media because I've always been a nut like
this thing with the stickers and the costumes that you see.
I've that's been my life for you know, twenty one years.
So yeah, and it's been, um and then here we are,
I'm talking to you guys. This is insane, insane, but
(21:34):
it's been. It's been a great journey for you so far.
It seems like you're enjoying it. Yeah, it really has.
It really has in in a in a couple of ways. UM.
The biggest surprise, UM I was I have a condition
called k F, which is clippal file. So instead of
having seven sort of convertebrates, I have three that are
the size of two. So I have been a shorter neck,
bigger rib cage, so I have limited movement. I just
(21:55):
looked weird. I look different. So I've been teased all
my life. And when UM teasers came out in January,
I mean it was like what they like, no neck
ed and YadA, YadA, YadA. So all of those bad
feelings I had grown up, you know, as a child,
came back to kind of on me. And then I'm like,
oh my god, my daughter is right. I should not
have done this. So I kind of kind of crawled
(22:17):
into a hole. You know. My publicist is like, you know,
don't don't read anything online. It's just gonna, you know,
piss you off. And so I didn't, and then all
of a sudden, people started to um defend me and
you know, saying, look how authentic is and you know,
he you know it stopped bullying him. And then I
started to get letters like from from from Abe on
the East Coast and from I think Michelle, South Africa, UM, England, Canada. Hey,
(22:41):
I think I had your condition, you know, and you
know we looked the same. They would send me pictures
of them and they're like, look, dude, I can't even
breathe some days because I'm tea so much. And I
see you on National TV rubbing mayonnaise in your hair.
How do you do it? So I just started a conversation.
I read their letter online. I started kind us some dialogue.
And then what what I didn't expect is people are
(23:03):
creating these little um like platforms called big d stands
against bully and so I didn't expect that to um
really be a result of me, you know, pretty much
pretty my life out there. So that that part of
it feels really really good. I'm still getting that hates.
You know, you just gotta who just hate on everybody
(23:25):
and anything, they possibly can. That's all they do. My
last my last comment was I hope big Ed gets
COVID and and I just so I made a video
about that. I'm like, you know, they're they're serious, but
they're not serious. But they I mean, they're they're kidding
but they're serious, but they're not you know, they're not serious.
So you two big d roles. And I learned this
a long time ago. You know, you have to learn
(23:46):
to love yourself. Okay, you have to, and you have
to be able to laugh at yourself. And that is
what has gotten me through my life. And so well,
I'm sure, I'm sure it's got to be an incredible
feeling to be because at this point, I would imagine
are kind of like the face for KFS in a
sense too. And you're saying other people are reaching out
to you saying that they they have a similar condition,
(24:06):
and so it's gonna be amazing to be the one
that's like, like, everything's gonna be fine, You're you're not
alone in this plight essentially exactly exactly so, and then
I stream every night just you know, and I actually
talked to my fans like I actually have a conversation
with them if they I go through my you know,
I have about five thousand messages um in my deep
nick home d MS, and you know I'll get a
(24:28):
lot of I'll get people with like blue check marks
I want to talk to me and promote me. I'm like, uh,
I go right past them. Unless it's Tori Spelling. By
the way, I'm gonna be cooking line with her in
about an hour. You're almost Wow, you took time out
of Tori Spelling to take time with us. Hell, yeah,
I didn't have a choice. No, No, I didn't know.
I know. I'm like absolutely, I mean, I'm I I
(24:49):
love it. And no, I mean and my my publicists
totally talk to you guys up. So I'm like, I'm
in but no, but I love doing this. I love
telling my story. I love because you know what it
is is that it's it's not an act, like this
is real and and I got like hose for you know,
you're you know, you just went on the show to
be famous and to make yourself look good. I'm like, okay,
(25:11):
wait a minute, wait a minute, what tell me one
thing I did on the TV show that made myself
look good? Tell me one thing. One thing. I actually
think you're sweet and authentic and very genuine and you
seem like a really good dude. Uh, And I'm glad
to have you on the podcast. Now let's talk. Let's
talk a little bit about some of the things that
you did in the show with Rose. Rose is the
(25:33):
girl that you went to the Philippines for that you've
had this long distance relationship with where obviously the ninety
day fiance thing comes in. Um. And so we saw
you and Rose met at the airport for the first
time after talking. So how long did you talk on
social media before you actually got to meet Rose? So
it was honor about three months. Four times a day. Yeah,
(25:54):
I would, I mean, don't tell my boss, but at
work normally because her three o'clock, three o'clock as her
her five am, which is when she gets up, so
and then she would get Prince ready for school. So
I would watch her walk Prince to to to his
school and then watch her have lunch with her friends,
and then and then I would talk to her kind
of before I went to bed, which was usually around
(26:17):
but yeah, it was, it was, it was, it was
the best. It was the best thing about my day.
I couldn't wait to talk to her in the morning,
and I couldn't wait to talk to her before I
went to bed. And so what made you think that
Rose was could potentially be the one? What was about
that connection? Because I think a lot of people are interested, like,
how does someone know their in love with someone just
(26:39):
by talking to them either over the phone, over the
computer without meeting in real life yet Yeah, yeah, so
so you know what, I got married really young and
got divorce. We all make mistakes, and I by the
time my my daughter was kind of ready, you know,
to to go into to college. I'm like, I woke
up and I'm like, oh my god, I'm forty four.
It's too late. I kind of and I tried all
(27:01):
the dating websites and I just had no success. I'm
not good at bars. I mean, I'm great. My stick
is I'm funny, like that's my formula, but I use
my winning, winning formula when somebody tries to get close
to me. Actually used that to kind of push him away.
But with Rose, she was safe. She's in another country.
She's like seven thousand miles away. There's no way that
(27:21):
I was ever gonna meet her. That's how it started so,
but then but then I started talking to her every
day and like, oh my god, this is a real person.
And then you start, you know, developing feelings. And and
I told her day one, I'm like, look, I'm old enough.
I'm old enough to be your dad. Okay, you understand that?
Like are you sure? And She's like, ages just the
number and we kind of never I just never really
(27:44):
thought of her as you know, being twenty three. She
is a single mom of a of a four year
old boy named Prince, and I thought she had the
maturity level and she's certainly captured my heart. One of
the last things we saw on the show was and
you and Rose had your fight because she said that
she wanted kids and was honest about that up front,
(28:06):
and then you said that you didn't want kids. Um, well,
and then you had appointments for a vasectomy. So my
question is, without spoiling anything because it's still airing, Um,
was Rose upfront about wanting kids pretty early on? And
were you just afraid to tell her that you didn't
want kids or was this something that you just found out. Yeah,
(28:26):
it's a little bit of both. We had talked one time.
She goes one day, I want a girl. We did.
We made that very clear one girl, and I kind
of didn't really answer it, but I knew that's what
she wanted. But then when I'm getting ready to go
down there, and I mean, I'm not a rich guy
live in San Diego, you know, I'm I do pretty good,
but like to raise a child, and it's a lot
(28:47):
of money, and for me, I just kind of freaked
out a little bit. I didn't want to lose Rose,
but I knew, as from a support standpoint, what I
could afford, and I know it was it was gonna
cost because I bought a rain like I was ready
to bring her back on a K one visa, you know.
I mean, that's that's the plan. So at the time,
I'm like, look, I'm gonna have to spend all this money,
(29:08):
plus I'm gonna have to, you know, help prints come over.
I'm like, I'm like, I'm talking like you know, we're
talking a lot of a lot of money, you know,
And now she wants to start she wants more kids.
So I went about it the wrong way. I'm like, Okay,
maybe if I just got a vasecto me and didn't
tell her, that could be my way out, which you know,
it's never a good reason ever to hide anything from anybody,
(29:30):
especially yeah, no, no, no, and you know, and that's
just like well, just like asking her to take you know,
the you know, in the in the beginning, I asked
her to take an STD test and um. Once my
daughter and I started talking and she's like, Dad, look,
I'm not trying to judge you, but you know, if
you were smart, you should have got a test before
you went down and said, hey, look I took a test.
(29:51):
Because she wasn't being She wouldn't talk about her past. Ever.
She wouldn't tell me anything about her past. And when
I got back from the Philippines, the first thing I
did as I got tested and I was clean. But
my daughter's like, Dad, you screwed that up. And then
I mean, you saw you saw a couple of the
other scenes. I um, I asked her to I gave
her lingerie and then, um, you know, she had like,
(30:12):
you know, bad breath. I'm like, hey, here's some toothpaste
and mouthwash and it makes your breast smell pretty. I
mean just I mean, my intentions were right, but the
way that I went about it was just not good.
So you know that I feel bad I did. I
never meant to to hurt her or you know, insult
her in any way. I just you know, I just did.
(30:33):
I just said some dumb things, you know. But y'all
do I think at the other day, is it weird
watching yourself back? You know, like haters aside that you
get on the internet and all that kind of stuff.
Do you do you enjoy at least like seeing yourself
back on TV? Is it? Or is it kind of
one of those things that's like weird for you? Because
I know a lot of people that go through that
whole thing. They see themselves on TV and they're like
like who is that person? Or they get really excited
(30:54):
about it. How do you where do you fall on that?
I'm I'm amazed because I stream at night. I'm like
like it's like almost like an out of body experience.
When I do live stream. People will get on, you know,
with their family and their friends and there, you know,
they're you know, you know, um young adults and couples
and whatever, and um, they lose their mind. They freak
(31:17):
out over me and they're like they're like, oh my god,
I'm gonna start crying. I'm like, don't, don't do that.
Just I'm just big at I'm just whatever. So I
don't know why they're so excited about me. I don't
get it. I don't get it, Like none of my
friends are that excited about me because they just deal.
But but but I don't get it, Like I know,
(31:38):
I do like you know, you know, crazy thing. I mean,
I put nair on a on a on a home
depot rollerbrush, and that's how I get a narrow off
my back. I mean, that's how I get here off
my back. I mean I do a lot of these
like crazy things. You know. Fifteen years ago, I was
on a pool table, you know, dressed up as not
your webray. You know, It's just this is kind of
who I am. But I just it that part. I'm
(31:59):
just trying to kind of grapple with where people are
more excited about me than I ever thought possible. And
I'm just I'm just on TV just you know, being
who I am and just you know, showering with their
dad and that that rat scene, I mean, that's was
people was pretty intense. That was for for for me.
(32:20):
You were by a lot of livestock and a rat
that looked exactly like Splinter from Teenage Mutant in the Turtles,
exactly exactly. So for me, you guys, this was it
was a very surreal experience, you know, the bottom line,
it's like it never really happened. And then we did
all the filming. This was all done back in in
in um late you know, August, early September. But I
(32:43):
couldn't talk about it with anybody. I couldn't. You know,
they're very very like strict, like you can't see anything.
So when it first came out in January, like I said,
I was like, you know, I didn't think. I didn't think.
Like my buddy John called me today. He's in Auckland.
He's quarantine on a million dollar yacht. We went to
architecture school together and he's telling me, hey, hey, I
(33:05):
saw your high school picture. I pulled up my feet
and you're on my on my on my Internet. I thought,
when when I go to my computer, like your personal
home computer, and you go to Google, it pulls me
up because they know who I am because I'm using
that computer. Well, no, apparently if you type in the
words big head, it's like forever. Oh I know, but
(33:27):
it's every picture from high school. I mean they went
back and just dug. I'll never forget when my name
first got released my local Providence journal because I was
born and raised Rhoe Island. Uh put a picture of
me and said, uh, his name is Jared. He's twenty
six and he lives in Rhode Island. If you have
any information about him, please send in and was like,
oh god, this is this could go bad fast, but
(33:49):
thank god it worked out. But big head, we I
wish we could talk to you more. Unfortunately, run out
of time. Thank you so much for joining us. I
know you're a busy man right now. You are freaking
cooking with tory spelling here in a few minutes. Due,
can I tell you what we're doing? So she's like,
I guess they want kid chef or whatever. So like,
do you have any ideas? I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna
make I want to do grilled cheese sandwiches. Okay, well
(34:10):
how are you gonna do them? Well? I go, I'm
using an iron and iron for a grilled cheese sandwich. Yeah,
so I had to go buy an iron from like
um from like Target today and then I'm but I'm
doing I'm doing an elvis I'm doing and it's kind
of like a well, I'm doing like a caprizy like
an Italian with the with the buffalo cheese and the basil.
(34:30):
And then because the single the Mayo, I'm doing cilantro
tomato and Mexican jack, and then I'm with hallapeino, and
then I'm gonna do a it's my elvis. It's a
It's a grilled peanut butter and banana sandwich. And where
can we watch this? Tune it on? It's I'm gonna
be striving on tour on her life because she I
only have three hundred, she has like one point five,
so I know, yeah, that's it and she is um,
(34:55):
which I'm very happy with it by the way, But
so I'm gonna be streaming on her we go live
at seven p MPST. All right, cool, we'll check it out.
Perfect for the listeners out there that want to get
more of ED two and Rose, they can go to
see Fiance before the ninety days airs Sunday nights on
t l C all the way up through like June.
I think, right, there's yeah, they're gonna yeah, They're yeah,
(35:16):
it's it's a lot. I kind of tell you that
it's a lot of fun. Anywhere I go, people like
they freak out and they want my picture, and it's well,
we wish the best for you, big d We really
wish for you, for for Rose as well, and uh,
we just hope whatever happens in in your individual futures,
we just wish the best for both you guys. Dude,
I love you and deep piece out man, let yourself
(35:38):
and laugh at yourself. Okay, okay, okay, bye. That guy
is a character, to say the least. I wanted to ask.
But he must have been from the East Coast, right,
I don't think so. I think he maybe he feels
like he's from the East Coast, But who the hell
knows that high, that high energy vibe about him. I
like I didn't. I was like scared to talk because
(35:58):
he was just a bulldozer that with the words and
the stories. Yeah, he's he was a bull in a
china shop with his vernacular. But he's hilarious. And I'll
be honest, I haven't watched much, but he kind of
makes me want to watch a little bit. It's good
and his storyline is really good, and like a lot
of people are giving him crap for the thing. Some
of the things he did that he pointed out where
he gave her toothbrushing, toothpasers, you have bad breath, and
(36:19):
and uh there's some other things to be asked her
for to take an STD test, like all things. While watching,
I really don't think we're ridiculous. I thought his approach
needed to be changed. He could have been a little
bit more delicate, especially about the STD test, Like his
daughter said, that's a good idea. You take one and
then be like, hey, I take I took one. I
just want to make sure we're all safe, you know.
But anyway, Uh, well that was yeah, that was He
(36:42):
was exactly what I thought he was gonna be, which
I found quite endearing. But we have emails coming up,
so you're not gonna want to miss out on that
in case, Anonymous A. K. Nick Bile writes in, But
before then, here's a word from a sponsor. Okay, we
(37:07):
are back with a little bit more of Sucky Dating,
and we're gonna talk to you guys about some emails
that she decided to take the time to email us,
which we really appreciate you. You You guys want to follow
us on Instagram we are at help. I suck at dating.
It's a great follow Jared. You want to read the
first one from the first one that emails we got,
But I do kind of want to contin I want
to continue plugging the Instagram. Is that too much? So again,
(37:29):
you just follow us. We are at help underscore, I
suck at dating. Uh. There's pictures of DN on there. Uh.
Sometimes I'm on there too. Uh. It's really cool. You
can like us, you can follow us. Truthfully, Here's the thing.
I want to get us to be the most followed
I heart radio podcast Instagram, and right now we're like
(37:50):
six seven hundred and scrubbing in is like a little
less than twenty three thousand. And I know that there
are people listening to this podcast who don't follow us.
So what I need you guys to do, what I
need Suck Army to do, is follow us and just
give me this little satisfaction of being the most followed podcast.
That's all. That's all just doing for Jake anyway, All right,
let's get emails. Uh. This is from Lose. I'm a
(38:13):
mini Giannina. I am twenty four years old and my
fiance is thirty and we are from Jersey, and I
find myself sometimes getting close Giannini's level of heat from
the show Love Is Blind. Never do I cuss my
fiance out, but I definitely get angry and I get
a little cuckoo. My fiance and I are constantly working out,
(38:35):
and of course I have never made us end things
as we are getting married in June, but I definitely
would love some techniques with this department. How do you
keep cool when somebody drives you so crazy or does
something that really bothers you? Dean? How do you stay
cool when Kaitlin does something that annoys you and while
you want to address it, you can't get angry. How
do I stay cool in a situation like that? I
(38:56):
think we've talked about this before. We just talk it out.
Sometimes we let it fester. You're a little too long,
but then you just reach your boiling point and you're like, Hey,
what's the deal, what's going on? If you can have
an open dialogue with with the person that you're talking to,
I don't think that there really should anything You should
ever really get that bad? What do you think? Yeah?
I mean I agree, I mean Ashley, it's hard right
because you want to you want to have an open dialogue.
(39:17):
But do you find any time in your relationship when
Kalin or even you towards Kalin, you guys are being
a little too honest, where like everything that's bothering you
you address and then it becomes a point like how
many times do almost like you're a pain in the ass? Yeah,
thanks to me, I'll say things, uh, and she'll be like,
(39:39):
She'll obviously be like, well, you're getting upset about that,
you know, And it's just like stupid little things. And
I think to the earlier part of the episode when
we're saying how just irritable we are in the situations
that we are, Like, that's what it is. You just
find like you're getting annoyed about little dumb things. I
annoyed myself with stupid little things too, But yeah, I
think it's just like you have to put into a
perspective about how insignificant the annoying things here. I know,
(40:01):
what do you think? Well, it's hard because Ashley. Ashley
is such a great communicator. She says everything that's on
her mind. You guys know, Ashley, She's the most transparent
person I've ever met. She literally can't tell a lie.
But I think sometimes that bugs me because she'll say
everything that bothers her, even if it's something small, and
she doesn't say it in a bad way or a
mean way. She's just like, hey, can you not do that?
(40:23):
And it's like, can you just let one thing go?
Can you let one thing go? But then I come
back to me and tell myself, well, this is your wife.
She should tell you whatever bothers her. But at the
same time, I just want, you know, maybe maybe if
there's one small thing that bothers you, just don't say it.
Just don't say let it go, and we'll all be happy.
I go back and forth. I don't know what the
(40:43):
right answer is. Is there a big thing that actually
doesn't bothers you? Maybe not now, but like that she
had done in the past, that you expressed that you
didn't like, that you can think of, Oh, I think,
um man, that's actually a great question which I don't
know the answer to right now. A big thing that
she used to do that maybe she doesn't do anymore. Well,
she has a tough time of letting things go. Man,
(41:05):
that's the one thing. Like we'll have a you know,
we'll have a you know, a disagreement and we won't
really come to a resolution because even though we articulated
each other's points, like, we still are kind of like
I still see I still see my argument over yours,
and she just cannot let that go. She can't be like, Okay,
we disagree. She just needs like for you to understand
her point and not agree with her, but like make
(41:28):
her not feel crazy. And so that's one thing where
I'm like, you gotta just hey, we came to you know,
everything's fine. Now we can change the subject to move on.
And she's like, no, no, no no, you're not understanding my point,
Like you gotta let it go, Let it go. I
think I thought of one too, and I've talked about
this like years ago on this podcast. But my biggest
pet peeves, or at least one of my biggest pet peeves,
(41:50):
is when I say something, and granted I do mumble often,
so it's it's not always the other person's fault, but
I'll say something and the first response, maybe even before
you're done saying what you were saying, is is them
responding what? And just something about the word what really
just drives me up the wall, Like if you didn't
hear what the person said to say, like pardon, excuse me,
like can you repeat yourself? Like there are more polite
(42:11):
ways too to be refreshed on the things they just said.
But more often than not, what is really frustrating for
me is when I say something, the person responds what,
And then what I've done, what I've started doing as
an adult, is I just won't repeat myself, and then
they'll answer the question or respond to the statement. You know,
they knew it took them a while to figure out
(42:31):
what I said, but they were using the word what
as a time folder to figure it out. Why do
people do that? I do that sometimes, Yeah, I mean
I do. I do as well. I'm guilty of it
as well. But it's just for some reason so frustrating
for me. And there are times where, like when Cayleen
and I for the first, you know, ten months of
our relationship, she was super, super good at it, and
I don't know if maybe she was like listening more
(42:53):
intently or if I was speaking more clearly, But I've
noticed over the past month I've had to start repeating
myself a little bit more. Like we have like little
irritable arguments over that which I get really frustrated by,
and like, I, I know, it's so silly to me
to get frustrated by, Like I I feel myself getting frustrated,
and I'm like, dude, why are you getting upset about?
Like just annoyed by? This doesn't make sense? Um. But
(43:14):
then she like she sees it happening too, and so
she tries to like, you know, we're both trying to
be better at it. But it's that's that's definitely the
one thing that drives us to argue a little bit
more often than anything else. So how do you stay
cool like in that moment where you find yourself getting
annoyed and you realize you're getting annoyed? How do you
not just like have a little outburst. What do you do? Well?
(43:34):
I just get quiet. If Kylen were to answer this question,
she would just say that I just shut off and
don't talk for however much time I need to cool down.
That's kind of what I do, is just focus on
something else. I do this come back. Yeah, I wonder
if that's healthy. I wonder if that's the right thing
to do. It's probably not. We're probably gonna like spontaneously
combusts someday. I think, oh, well, well at least one
(43:56):
hell of a story. Well, we hope that, we hope
that that that non answer helped our listener out there.
Do we say it was lose, was lose or less?
I'm sorry, I think yeah. Anyways, that'll do it for
this week's episode. I know that we wish we could
answer more emails, but we'll save a couple more for
next week as well. Thank you to Ed Brown of
(44:17):
course for calling in and being a guest with us,
Jared as always, and Tori of course. Thanks you guys
for listening, and we will be sure to see you
next week, where maybe we will suck just a little
bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I
Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast
Hell I Suck It Dating with Ungler Jared Haven and
I heart radio podcast What is Up, Sucky Daters? Welcome
back to a brand new episode of Help I Suck
at Dating. I'm being unglerts joined all the way across
the country with Jared Haven and of course Tory in
(00:22):
some in descript bath bedroom and some I don't know, yes,
but I don't know where exactly in the country. She
is probably California. But Jared, how are you? I'm dandy.
I'm doing well, just one day at a time. That's
the only thing we can do during this freaking thing.
But everybody's doing you know, staying safe. Everybody's doing well.
We're all healthy. That's all we can ask for. Ashley
(00:44):
and I find are are like fighting over smaller things
now more often. But I'm pretty sure that's got to
be normal for every couple. Give us, give us an
example of what you guys are fighting over. Um, it's
not like big fights. It's just more of like annoyances.
For example, we were trying to find something too. We
were trying to watch a movie the other night and
I I suggested Mission Impossible too because she hasn't seen it.
(01:10):
And then she's like, no, I don't want to watch that.
I was like, okay, that's fair, that would be my pick.
And then she wanted to watch I don't remember what
it was, but it was it was a rom com
and I was like, I don't feel like watching, you know,
a romance movie. And then we were trying to pick
a movie in the middle, and I suggested something like
a like a good drama, and she's like, we never
(01:30):
watched movies I want to watch and I was like, well,
I feel like I know. I was like, I feel
like we're watching movies that we both enjoyed, Like we
just watched Molly's Game and we just watched I figured
out what else. But and then she goes She's like,
she's like, I just feel like you're being selfish, and
I was like, selfish, we're picking an equal movie, Like
I suggested an action movie, you suggested a romance movie.
(01:52):
We're meeting in the middle here, and question is why
wouldn't you just be on board with whatever movie she
picks in just like be on your phone the whole time. Well,
that would be a dick move. See, I think it
would be worse because there's nothing that bothers me more
than if there's a movie I want to show someone
and then they're on the phone. For example, I showed
Ashley The Dark Knight like two years ago because she
(02:13):
was like, I don't get it. I saw it once
and I was like, you're gonna get this freaking movie.
You're gonna get it, and you're gonna like it. So
we watched it twenty minutes and then she was on
her phone and I was like, actually, I'm gonna lose
it because I really need you to just focus, pay attention,
to appreciate, and really put effort into thinking you might
like this, and if you don't like it, hey, we'll
go our separate rays and figure things out later. But
at least put the effort in. Now. That's a good point,
(02:34):
I guess. I guess I didn't think of that. I
just had thought because the she picked the movie that
you had already seen and like definitely maybe or something
like that. No, no, no, no, no no no. It was
a movie that she has seen and she's like, oh,
I could I could watch this And I was like,
I'm kind of not in the mood for a romance
right now, and so I thought I wasn't being that selfish,
because you know, I suggested an action movie and then
(02:57):
she was like, hey, let's watch a romance movie. And
I was like, right, neither one is gonna win on
that one, so let's go in the middle and watch
a movie we can both enjoy it. Do you find
it helpful to have Ashley's parents there with you kind
of as like an intermediary? Um? No, I mean, like
I said, the good thing about Ashley and eyes even
when we fight, it's it's really it is far and
few between. And uh because we just, like I've always said,
(03:20):
our friendship is so good that we really know how
to handle each other. But her parents being here, I
don't know, that's a good question. And if there, I
would say it's probably worse for um. Uh, Like I
don't want to say worse for our relationship, but worse
for when we're fighting, because then it makes me feel
super awkward because her parents can hear, and then she
(03:42):
uses them as more of a crutch instead of just
hashing it out with me. Uh. But yeah, they like
team up on you the I connects versus versus Jared.
It sounds like, well, right now, there's four against one.
So um sl if that's gonna happen. I got Lois
on my side, that's about it, And even her, she's yeah,
it doesn't seem like you're gonna win too many arguments
(04:03):
over there. Well. Hey, on the bright side, it seems
like things are slowly starting to go back to normal,
at least getting closer to Yeah, yeah, I mean it is.
It's still a little nerve racking scary because I just
I don't know what's going to happen when the restrictions left, Like,
for example, are you how comfortable are you going back
into public and going back into the crowded areas well,
I'm not quite as much about hypochondriac as you are,
(04:24):
So I honestly not gonna have any issue. I'm not
gonna be going to bars or like I guess it
probably wouldn't really be going to shopping centers either. But
I won't have an issue going to the beach, going
hiking out in the you know, the parks and stuff
like that. But I can see like if if but
you guys don't really go to that many bars either,
Like if people were like great like partying all the
time before the quarantine, I can see them being like, oh,
(04:46):
like things are never gonna be the same again. But
I feel like for the most part, I guess there
probably won't be like as many movie from premiers for
you and actually to attend um and like those types
of events probably will be a little bit fewer and
farther between. Yeah, I've just been going to the movies,
going out to dinner, like, I mean, granted, it's just
gonna change restaurants with Paul would be halful even like dude, flying,
you know, I mean, Ashley and I we were lucky
(05:09):
that a lot of the things we had to do
we we traveled for. And that's kind of I don't know,
I don't feel like being on a plane for six hours,
you know, I know, I know they say it's pretty
safe with the fresh air and as long as you're
wearing a mask. But still I'm not worried about flying.
The only bummer for for me that strands flying specifically
is that so many airlines are cutting their their airplane
(05:30):
uh what's the word of looking for like availability, So
they're gonna flights are essentially gonna get more expensive over time,
which seems like a bummer too. But I'm not really
terribly worried about the germs per se. I don't know
it's gonna be. I have a question for you, Uh one,
have you always had an earring? Because I'm looking at
you and you have an earring now and too. How
(05:52):
does Caylen feel about it? I've always had my ears pierced. Yeah,
I've had both ears pierced. I have two pierce things
into my left ear, but I only have one hearing
and now. Uh, she's supportive of the of the I
got a dangly like little bar gold earring in there
right now. You know, it's just nice to spice it
up a little bit and keep it fresh. Mix it
up might as well. We've got nothing better to do
in this quarantine. Are you wearing earrings in both ears?
(06:13):
Are just the left? Um? I haven't worn earrings in
both years since I was probably in college, but as
recently as like last year, maybe a year or two ago,
I had two piercings in my left lobe. Uh. So
I had like two little mini hugger hoops uh in
my left ear, which I really appreciate that look, but
I think one of them closed up. Uh. And so
(06:33):
I only have one hole in my left ear now.
But yeah, like I said, you know, I just like
to keep it fresh, keep it interesting. That's kind of
why I played around the facial hair a little bit.
I've got a nice little bun going on today too,
because it's hot here in l A. But it keeps
the look fresh too. You have the mustache, you have
an earring, and you're wearing a headband and you have
your hair in a bun. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I
look in the mirror, I don't even know who I am,
and that's kind of exciting for me. Even too, I'm like, whoa,
(06:54):
who is this guy? You're hideous. But it's cool to, like,
you know, have someone around the house. I guess. Yeah,
it's like groundhog Day. So at least, yeah, you get
to change your personality every day. Tori, how do you
feel about guys with earrings? Oh? Great question, that's on
fall of them. Sounds like she um doesn't want to
(07:16):
answer honestly because she knows it's gonna hurt my feelings.
I think that's done right. It can be attractive, but
I'm I have a hard time with the dangle. But
then I'm also like, I don't want Nicholas Shade Studs. Yeah,
I do remember a couple I think back in jan No,
in January February, I came to the studio to recording
(07:36):
episode must of the January and I had the dangle
earring and the dog and the cutches, and Tori was
very critical of my dangle. I feel like Tory would
be critical of you no matter what you do, because
that's what she just likes, ridiculing you. It's not critique,
it's that I know his potentials. Let's motivate. You know,
where do you think, Tory, where do you think Dean
has reached his most potential? Like, at what point throughout
(07:59):
your friendship did you you think Dean is at his
peak right now? Right now? I think every day, and
it's a new it's a new peak for me. I
think it was right before the leg injury. Yeah, you
were like going out, you were happy, you were in nature,
Calin was tagging along, you had your dog, like everything
was like great. And then I think that kind of
didn't like hinder your peak. But you were just like
(08:20):
definitely peaking then for sure. And then I broke my
leg in my life got ruined basically. Yeah, no, yeah,
I would I would agree with that. Um, we also
are fostering a dog as of an hour ago today,
so we have a little sister for Pappy. So that's
kind of exciting for us. What's the name? I think
it's im Sorry, you think it's some weird, uh foreign
(08:46):
name I'm not familiar with. I call her Frolio. But
you just pete on the carpet in this in this
room I'm broadcasting from so Star. She just turned to
and she just had a litter of puppies and so
she's got some nice, uh curvaceous teets, if you will.
But we thought my thought process behind it was since uh,
(09:08):
since Patty has been so down and out lately with
his like oar threat is and his teeth, I wanted
to have like a nice, sexy young female walking around
the house to maybe like breathe a little bit of
spark into him, Yeah, make him young again. Yeah, and
uh you yet to see it, but he's been fighting
for our attention ever since, which is like kind of
nice to see him, you know, get a little bit
more motivated for some pets. Is there potential that you'll
(09:28):
keep throw young? Absolutely not. Oh please, I feel like
you said the same thing about Pappy. I know I
did say the same thing about Happy, but Pappy was
an exception. He's just an amazing dog and as great
as Throw You seems to be, Pappy needed us a
lot more than I think Throw You will, so uh,
you know, she's a little bit younger. She's got some
spunk and some cuteness too, and Peppy's cute. But he
(09:50):
was like so old that if we didn't adopt him,
he probably would have died in the shelter or something,
you know, which is a little bit of a different,
different circumstance. Yeah, it's interesting. And Tory said your peak
was right before you broke your leg, because I feel
like since that incident happened, you and Klin have become
a lot stronger, even though you guys were strong relationship beforehand,
just from her going there and taking care of you,
(10:11):
and now you guys are obviously in quarantine together. I
guess I would say that I would disassociate my peak
with my relationship, though, you know, like my personal peak
is different than the strength of my relationship. I feel
like Ashley would kill me if I said that I
was I was at my peak before we got together.
I think they're just two separate mountains with two different peaks.
You can peek on your own on this mountain over here,
(10:33):
and then the relationship peak is over here, and then
actually got her on mountain that she's on by herself
over there. They're all you know, it's all uh evan
and flowing together. That's how I look at Yeah, I'll
try to explain that to her and just let me
know how it goes. Hopefully it'll be around next week.
To your point earlier about like getting in small petty arguments,
I mean, we definitely do the same thing, even just
(10:53):
just yesterday. I can't remember what we were arguing about,
but of something so so so silly, and it's just like,
what is it? Is it just that the fact that
we're spending too much time around each other is that
we're all cooped up in this little apartment. We can't
do the things that we want to do. I don't know,
it's just I feel myself being more irritable. I like
see myself getting annoyed at things, and I'm like, dude,
what are you getting annoyed at that? For? You know
(11:14):
what I mean? So hopefully, hopefully this is all just
a means to an end. I think it will be.
And I know it's interesting because today, like this time,
is supposed to be a time full of perspective. You know,
as long as we're healthy and doing well and we
have a roof over our head and food, that we
should be doing all right. But I agree with you.
I found myself more irritable as well, and I take
it out on Ashley sometimes and she does the same
(11:34):
with me. But you know, that's just a relationship. And
that's why you know, you put a ring on it,
because even in times where you guys fight, you realize
that you know, the sun will rise again and you
guys are gonna be fine. You still love each other
and everything is gonna be a okay, just like this podcast.
It's this podcast is going to be a plus. You
want to know why, Dean, because our peak, yours and
(11:54):
mys peak, our relationship peak is still ahead of us. Well,
I was gonna say it's Tories peak, but yeah, I
mean that too. Hey, I've got a question for you
in your relationship. I'm sorry to sidebar here, but I
do remember the talk of children coming up a couple
of weeks ago. Has that been discussed between you and
actually all lately, um no, I mean nothing's changed. Yeah,
(12:15):
we discuss it. We still wanna maybe try started having
kids later this year. It's it's it's scary, man, It's
just it's it's it's nerve racking about you know, uh,
the idea of bringing a human in and then you
know that human being is your responsibility and your responsibility
(12:36):
only and don't f up because if you do, there
will be some serious consequences. It's scary also wonderful. Um Like,
I think about my parents, you know, and her parents
and giving them a grandchild, and that makes me very happy.
Well for what it's worth. And I'm sure you've heard
this before. I think you make your fantastic father. Well
thank you, Tina, I hope so. I appreciate that. And
(12:59):
on my side of things, I can't wait to be
a godfather. Like that's gonna be a great feeling. Uh
you all we all know Nick is gonna just guilt
me into making him the god I'll take. I'll take
the title. That's fun uncle, even though I'm obviously not
blood related. But um I, I have you talked about
to Klin about the future at all? I mean, yeah,
(13:20):
we talked about it. We don't really know what it holds.
But we're we're coming up on our one year anniversary.
I think in about like a month and a half
will be at I'm sorry, Yeah, and a month and
a half will be at our year anniversary. Like we're
coming up on eleven months. For me, is a feat
in and of itself. That's a long relationship for it.
For me, that's the peak of year right there. Yeah,
(13:40):
it's not quite the peak, but it's close to the
longest relationship I've ever been in. Uh, we talk about
things we don't really it's so in so much uncertainty,
like you said, Uh, but we're happy with where we
are as a couple now and we're not in any
rush to change anything, and we're just taking it one
day at a time. But you know, it's constant communication
(14:01):
about that step to that way. There's no h blind sides.
I guess if you will, do you want to be
a father? Does she want to be a mom? Ah,
that's a good question. I don't know. I don't really
know how to answer that. I think that we both
want to be parents, but we don't know what that means.
If we're ready for it. Obviously we're not ready for
it at the moment. Otherwise we would make an effort
(14:21):
to be Uh. I personally don't. Although I've wanted to
have kids my entire life. The older I get, seemingly
the less I want to have children for whatever reason. Uh.
And so that that could change, if you know, I
wake up one day and decide otherwise. But at the
end of the day, it's just I would have thought
(14:43):
if you asked, like fifteen year old Dean, how many
kids I would have when I was twenty nine, I
would probably say, you know, I've got like a family
of three, three little kids running around. I think all
of us at that age are probably pretty optimistic. We're
gonna have a lot of children. Then. Um. But yeah,
the little older I get, the more and more I
start to think about how I I could see a
life without children, but I could also see life with children.
(15:04):
But the look the weird thing I feel like I'm
rambling here. The weird thing about I guess maybe the
fortunate thing about my scenario situation is I've got an
older brother who's nine years older than I am. So
he's thirty eight, Well, he's thirty seventy thirty eight this year,
he's getting married, doesn't have any kids, but he still
could have kids. Like I could always look at myself
essentially nine years into the future and be like, Okay, cool,
(15:24):
I've got nine years to essentially reach the same standard
that my brother has reached. You know, your biological clock
isn't ticking, not even that. It's just like, you know,
he's kind of maintained this uh this, what's you know,
Peter pan like childlike vigor that you know, we all
have his kids and he's like super playful. And I
always look at him and I like, okay, cool. If
(15:45):
he can be that way at that age, then I
know that I can at least be that at that
age as well, which gives me nine years to like,
you know, continue to figure out exactly what I want. Yeah, no,
that makes sense. I look at my parents and I'm
just very grateful, Like I I think about what I'd
be able to love my kid as much as my
parents have loved me, and and sacrifice as much as
they sacrifice. You know what all parents do where they
(16:08):
just you know, their their life is now all about
you and that's uh, that's the ultimate sacrifice. So well,
especially for us, for us too. There was a guy
that I met when I was getting my stoopl license
a couple of years ago who was, like, he was
a really young father. I think he had his first
kid when he was like nineteen or something like that. Uh,
And at the time, I was twenty seven, and he
was I did it right, Like, you're you should have
(16:30):
kids really really young, because now I'm turning forty five
and my kids are already grown up and they're out
of the house, and I've got like a second life
again with my wife, and you know, I've got my
friends and my kids who are my friends now. So
there's kind of like two sides of the story where
it's like you could have kids really young and then
be a young parent and then be young when they
go off to college and start throw own lives. Or
you could spend your youth, you know, deciding if you
(16:51):
want to have children, and then you know, when you're
in Nash's case, have children your early thirties and then
I don't know, it's just there's so many right ways
to do it, you know. Yeah, you know, I agree.
It's so weird sometimes how I hear people describe being
a parent though, because like you said, he talked about like,
oh I got it, like I got it over with
kind of thing, like I was able to raise them
my kids, and I love them and now I have
(17:11):
a whole new life, and it's like, well not to
be addict. Do you regret giving up that aspect of
your life because now you see that you have it back?
I don't know. But then they're like, I wouldn't change
a thing because I love my kids more than anything.
And you only realize how much you love them when
you finally, like have children. I don't know. It's interesting,
but I don't know. Anyway, we have a great guest
(17:32):
on the podcast. We should have to break some sponsors
because we've been rambling for a little while, but we
have Ed brown On also known as Big D from
ninety Fiance Before the ninety Days um which we were
very excited to talk to him, So we're going to
hear from him right after the short break Welcome back
(17:57):
to help I suck at dating. We have a very
special st on the air right now. You know him
from Fiance Before the ninety Days, which is airing Sundays
on t l C at eight p m. It is
Ed Brown, also known as Big Ed Big Head. Thank
you so much for joining us. Thanks man, peace out awesome?
Are you doing glad to be here? So you're down
(18:19):
in San Diego quarantine and how's everything going well? So, I, um,
it's going pretty good. It's like, um, it's like a
ghost town. I work in little Italy about fifteen minutes away,
so we keep our door locked. So we're considered a
what do you call it? Um? Um? What do they
call him? Not necessity but essential? Essential? There you go. Yeah,
(18:40):
So I do intore design during the day. I do
these huge design projects and I have contractors and and
people I gotta order product through. So um. But it's
weird because I'm next to the oldest bar in city.
It's called the Waterfront. They've been they have liquor license
number one and for I've been at this show room
for four years and people would be seven m would
(19:00):
be drinking champagne right and now it's closed. It's just weird.
It's crazy times. We're living in my friend, well, I
mean crazy times for you specifically. How's everything going with
all of the you know, fanfare, You're getting all the attention?
Oh yeah, it's it's kind of crazy. Um Like I
didn't realize. When I first started the film with TLC,
(19:23):
one of the producers, we were looking for what they
call my hero shot, which just kind of that that
still shot they show you, and we're walking around Biboa
Park and um, Harry's I'm like, Harry Man, they're filming
me with drones on my vest. But everybody in seeing
Diego's gonna know who I am. And He's like, everybody
in the world is gonna know who you are and
everything that they they told me, Um that I didn't
(19:45):
expect what happened has happened. So it's it's insane. I
have I can't tell you. I'm like over, I'm just
my I g alone. I have over thirty eight million
impressions and I don't even know what that means. I
was want to find on Instagram. I had trouble finding you.
How do I find on Instagram? Oh this is a
big d just big head. Okay, no, no, this is
(20:07):
big and then look from my my fat head sticker.
Oh it's all right, Teddy can be annoyed. I understand.
I have a very annoying voice. Um so, and you
obviously got on ninety day fiance, you were talking to
Rose Um. Yes, well, the show is still airing, so
(20:27):
you're you're still talking to Rose. But from my understanding,
you started talking to Rose on social media, added her
as a friend on Facebook, and then three months later
you bought a ticket to go see her, which is
later on the time that you got on fiance. That's correct,
That's that's how it wouldn't happen. I've never heard of
the show or the franchise before my daughter had and
(20:49):
my ex wife. That's why my daughter kind of freaked
out when I told her that I was thinking about
being on the show. So I bought a ticket. I
posted it on Facebook and all my friends and my
buddy rich Um that actually sent me the link. I
filled it out. You know, fifty four year old in
love with a twenty three year old with a twenty
nine year old daughter, and he already bought a ticket.
(21:10):
I mean I was. They texted me within two hours
and I was on the phone with them at seven
thirty the next day. They took a look at my
my social media because I've always been a nut like
this thing with the stickers and the costumes that you see.
I've that's been my life for you know, twenty one years.
So yeah, and it's been, um and then here we are,
I'm talking to you guys. This is insane, insane, but
(21:34):
it's been. It's been a great journey for you so far.
It seems like you're enjoying it. Yeah, it really has.
It really has in in a in a couple of ways. UM.
The biggest surprise, UM I was I have a condition
called k F, which is clippal file. So instead of
having seven sort of convertebrates, I have three that are
the size of two. So I have been a shorter neck,
bigger rib cage, so I have limited movement. I just
(21:55):
looked weird. I look different. So I've been teased all
my life. And when UM teasers came out in January,
I mean it was like what they like, no neck
ed and YadA, YadA, YadA. So all of those bad
feelings I had grown up, you know, as a child,
came back to kind of on me. And then I'm like,
oh my god, my daughter is right. I should not
have done this. So I kind of kind of crawled
(22:17):
into a hole. You know. My publicist is like, you know,
don't don't read anything online. It's just gonna, you know,
piss you off. And so I didn't, and then all
of a sudden, people started to um defend me and
you know, saying, look how authentic is and you know,
he you know it stopped bullying him. And then I
started to get letters like from from from Abe on
the East Coast and from I think Michelle, South Africa, UM, England, Canada. Hey,
(22:41):
I think I had your condition, you know, and you
know we looked the same. They would send me pictures
of them and they're like, look, dude, I can't even
breathe some days because I'm tea so much. And I
see you on National TV rubbing mayonnaise in your hair.
How do you do it? So I just started a conversation.
I read their letter online. I started kind us some dialogue.
And then what what I didn't expect is people are
(23:03):
creating these little um like platforms called big d stands
against bully and so I didn't expect that to um
really be a result of me, you know, pretty much
pretty my life out there. So that that part of
it feels really really good. I'm still getting that hates.
You know, you just gotta who just hate on everybody
(23:25):
and anything, they possibly can. That's all they do. My
last my last comment was I hope big Ed gets
COVID and and I just so I made a video
about that. I'm like, you know, they're they're serious, but
they're not serious. But they I mean, they're they're kidding
but they're serious, but they're not you know, they're not serious.
So you two big d roles. And I learned this
a long time ago. You know, you have to learn
(23:46):
to love yourself. Okay, you have to, and you have
to be able to laugh at yourself. And that is
what has gotten me through my life. And so well,
I'm sure, I'm sure it's got to be an incredible
feeling to be because at this point, I would imagine
are kind of like the face for KFS in a
sense too. And you're saying other people are reaching out
to you saying that they they have a similar condition,
(24:06):
and so it's gonna be amazing to be the one
that's like, like, everything's gonna be fine, You're you're not
alone in this plight essentially exactly exactly so, and then
I stream every night just you know, and I actually
talked to my fans like I actually have a conversation
with them if they I go through my you know,
I have about five thousand messages um in my deep
nick home d MS, and you know I'll get a
(24:28):
lot of I'll get people with like blue check marks
I want to talk to me and promote me. I'm like, uh,
I go right past them. Unless it's Tori Spelling. By
the way, I'm gonna be cooking line with her in
about an hour. You're almost Wow, you took time out
of Tori Spelling to take time with us. Hell, yeah,
I didn't have a choice. No, No, I didn't know.
I know. I'm like absolutely, I mean, I'm I I
(24:49):
love it. And no, I mean and my my publicists
totally talk to you guys up. So I'm like, I'm
in but no, but I love doing this. I love
telling my story. I love because you know what it
is is that it's it's not an act, like this
is real and and I got like hose for you know,
you're you know, you just went on the show to
be famous and to make yourself look good. I'm like, okay,
(25:11):
wait a minute, wait a minute, what tell me one
thing I did on the TV show that made myself
look good? Tell me one thing. One thing. I actually
think you're sweet and authentic and very genuine and you
seem like a really good dude. Uh, And I'm glad
to have you on the podcast. Now let's talk. Let's
talk a little bit about some of the things that
you did in the show with Rose. Rose is the
(25:33):
girl that you went to the Philippines for that you've
had this long distance relationship with where obviously the ninety
day fiance thing comes in. Um. And so we saw
you and Rose met at the airport for the first
time after talking. So how long did you talk on
social media before you actually got to meet Rose? So
it was honor about three months. Four times a day. Yeah,
(25:54):
I would, I mean, don't tell my boss, but at
work normally because her three o'clock, three o'clock as her
her five am, which is when she gets up, so
and then she would get Prince ready for school. So
I would watch her walk Prince to to to his
school and then watch her have lunch with her friends,
and then and then I would talk to her kind
of before I went to bed, which was usually around
(26:17):
but yeah, it was, it was, it was, it was
the best. It was the best thing about my day.
I couldn't wait to talk to her in the morning,
and I couldn't wait to talk to her before I
went to bed. And so what made you think that
Rose was could potentially be the one? What was about
that connection? Because I think a lot of people are interested, like,
how does someone know their in love with someone just
(26:39):
by talking to them either over the phone, over the
computer without meeting in real life yet Yeah, yeah, so
so you know what, I got married really young and
got divorce. We all make mistakes, and I by the
time my my daughter was kind of ready, you know,
to to go into to college. I'm like, I woke
up and I'm like, oh my god, I'm forty four.
It's too late. I kind of and I tried all
(27:01):
the dating websites and I just had no success. I'm
not good at bars. I mean, I'm great. My stick
is I'm funny, like that's my formula, but I use
my winning, winning formula when somebody tries to get close
to me. Actually used that to kind of push him away.
But with Rose, she was safe. She's in another country.
She's like seven thousand miles away. There's no way that
(27:21):
I was ever gonna meet her. That's how it started so,
but then but then I started talking to her every
day and like, oh my god, this is a real person.
And then you start, you know, developing feelings. And and
I told her day one, I'm like, look, I'm old enough.
I'm old enough to be your dad. Okay, you understand that?
Like are you sure? And She's like, ages just the
number and we kind of never I just never really
(27:44):
thought of her as you know, being twenty three. She
is a single mom of a of a four year
old boy named Prince, and I thought she had the
maturity level and she's certainly captured my heart. One of
the last things we saw on the show was and
you and Rose had your fight because she said that
she wanted kids and was honest about that up front,
(28:06):
and then you said that you didn't want kids. Um, well,
and then you had appointments for a vasectomy. So my
question is, without spoiling anything because it's still airing, Um,
was Rose upfront about wanting kids pretty early on? And
were you just afraid to tell her that you didn't
want kids or was this something that you just found out. Yeah,
(28:26):
it's a little bit of both. We had talked one time.
She goes one day, I want a girl. We did.
We made that very clear one girl, and I kind
of didn't really answer it, but I knew that's what
she wanted. But then when I'm getting ready to go
down there, and I mean, I'm not a rich guy
live in San Diego, you know, I'm I do pretty good,
but like to raise a child, and it's a lot
(28:47):
of money, and for me, I just kind of freaked
out a little bit. I didn't want to lose Rose,
but I knew, as from a support standpoint, what I
could afford, and I know it was it was gonna
cost because I bought a rain like I was ready
to bring her back on a K one visa, you know.
I mean, that's that's the plan. So at the time,
I'm like, look, I'm gonna have to spend all this money,
(29:08):
plus I'm gonna have to, you know, help prints come over.
I'm like, I'm like, I'm talking like you know, we're
talking a lot of a lot of money, you know,
And now she wants to start she wants more kids.
So I went about it the wrong way. I'm like, Okay,
maybe if I just got a vasecto me and didn't
tell her, that could be my way out, which you know,
it's never a good reason ever to hide anything from anybody,
(29:30):
especially yeah, no, no, no, and you know, and that's
just like well, just like asking her to take you know,
the you know, in the in the beginning, I asked
her to take an STD test and um. Once my
daughter and I started talking and she's like, Dad, look,
I'm not trying to judge you, but you know, if
you were smart, you should have got a test before
you went down and said, hey, look I took a test.
(29:51):
Because she wasn't being She wouldn't talk about her past. Ever.
She wouldn't tell me anything about her past. And when
I got back from the Philippines, the first thing I
did as I got tested and I was clean. But
my daughter's like, Dad, you screwed that up. And then
I mean, you saw you saw a couple of the
other scenes. I um, I asked her to I gave
her lingerie and then, um, you know, she had like,
(30:12):
you know, bad breath. I'm like, hey, here's some toothpaste
and mouthwash and it makes your breast smell pretty. I
mean just I mean, my intentions were right, but the
way that I went about it was just not good.
So you know that I feel bad I did. I
never meant to to hurt her or you know, insult
her in any way. I just you know, I just did.
(30:33):
I just said some dumb things, you know. But y'all
do I think at the other day, is it weird
watching yourself back? You know, like haters aside that you
get on the internet and all that kind of stuff.
Do you do you enjoy at least like seeing yourself
back on TV? Is it? Or is it kind of
one of those things that's like weird for you? Because
I know a lot of people that go through that
whole thing. They see themselves on TV and they're like
like who is that person? Or they get really excited
(30:54):
about it. How do you where do you fall on that?
I'm I'm amazed because I stream at night. I'm like
like it's like almost like an out of body experience.
When I do live stream. People will get on, you know,
with their family and their friends and there, you know,
they're you know, you know, um young adults and couples
and whatever, and um, they lose their mind. They freak
(31:17):
out over me and they're like they're like, oh my god,
I'm gonna start crying. I'm like, don't, don't do that.
Just I'm just big at I'm just whatever. So I
don't know why they're so excited about me. I don't
get it. I don't get it, Like none of my
friends are that excited about me because they just deal.
But but but I don't get it, Like I know,
(31:38):
I do like you know, you know, crazy thing. I mean,
I put nair on a on a on a home
depot rollerbrush, and that's how I get a narrow off
my back. I mean, that's how I get here off
my back. I mean I do a lot of these
like crazy things. You know. Fifteen years ago, I was
on a pool table, you know, dressed up as not
your webray. You know, It's just this is kind of
who I am. But I just it that part. I'm
(31:59):
just trying to kind of grapple with where people are
more excited about me than I ever thought possible. And
I'm just I'm just on TV just you know, being
who I am and just you know, showering with their
dad and that that rat scene, I mean, that's was
people was pretty intense. That was for for for me.
(32:20):
You were by a lot of livestock and a rat
that looked exactly like Splinter from Teenage Mutant in the Turtles,
exactly exactly. So for me, you guys, this was it
was a very surreal experience, you know, the bottom line,
it's like it never really happened. And then we did
all the filming. This was all done back in in
in um late you know, August, early September. But I
(32:43):
couldn't talk about it with anybody. I couldn't. You know,
they're very very like strict, like you can't see anything.
So when it first came out in January, like I said,
I was like, you know, I didn't think. I didn't think.
Like my buddy John called me today. He's in Auckland.
He's quarantine on a million dollar yacht. We went to
architecture school together and he's telling me, hey, hey, I
(33:05):
saw your high school picture. I pulled up my feet
and you're on my on my on my Internet. I thought,
when when I go to my computer, like your personal
home computer, and you go to Google, it pulls me
up because they know who I am because I'm using
that computer. Well, no, apparently if you type in the
words big head, it's like forever. Oh I know, but
(33:27):
it's every picture from high school. I mean they went
back and just dug. I'll never forget when my name
first got released my local Providence journal because I was
born and raised Rhoe Island. Uh put a picture of
me and said, uh, his name is Jared. He's twenty
six and he lives in Rhode Island. If you have
any information about him, please send in and was like,
oh god, this is this could go bad fast, but
(33:49):
thank god it worked out. But big head, we I
wish we could talk to you more. Unfortunately, run out
of time. Thank you so much for joining us. I
know you're a busy man right now. You are freaking
cooking with tory spelling here in a few minutes. Due,
can I tell you what we're doing? So she's like,
I guess they want kid chef or whatever. So like,
do you have any ideas? I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna
make I want to do grilled cheese sandwiches. Okay, well
(34:10):
how are you gonna do them? Well? I go, I'm
using an iron and iron for a grilled cheese sandwich. Yeah,
so I had to go buy an iron from like
um from like Target today and then I'm but I'm
doing I'm doing an elvis I'm doing and it's kind
of like a well, I'm doing like a caprizy like
an Italian with the with the buffalo cheese and the basil.
(34:30):
And then because the single the Mayo, I'm doing cilantro
tomato and Mexican jack, and then I'm with hallapeino, and
then I'm gonna do a it's my elvis. It's a
It's a grilled peanut butter and banana sandwich. And where
can we watch this? Tune it on? It's I'm gonna
be striving on tour on her life because she I
only have three hundred, she has like one point five,
so I know, yeah, that's it and she is um,
(34:55):
which I'm very happy with it by the way, But
so I'm gonna be streaming on her we go live
at seven p MPST. All right, cool, we'll check it out.
Perfect for the listeners out there that want to get
more of ED two and Rose, they can go to
see Fiance before the ninety days airs Sunday nights on
t l C all the way up through like June.
I think, right, there's yeah, they're gonna yeah, They're yeah,
(35:16):
it's it's a lot. I kind of tell you that
it's a lot of fun. Anywhere I go, people like
they freak out and they want my picture, and it's well,
we wish the best for you, big d We really
wish for you, for for Rose as well, and uh,
we just hope whatever happens in in your individual futures,
we just wish the best for both you guys. Dude,
I love you and deep piece out man, let yourself
(35:38):
and laugh at yourself. Okay, okay, okay, bye. That guy
is a character, to say the least. I wanted to ask.
But he must have been from the East Coast, right,
I don't think so. I think he maybe he feels
like he's from the East Coast, But who the hell
knows that high, that high energy vibe about him. I
like I didn't. I was like scared to talk because
(35:58):
he was just a bulldozer that with the words and
the stories. Yeah, he's he was a bull in a
china shop with his vernacular. But he's hilarious. And I'll
be honest, I haven't watched much, but he kind of
makes me want to watch a little bit. It's good
and his storyline is really good, and like a lot
of people are giving him crap for the thing. Some
of the things he did that he pointed out where
he gave her toothbrushing, toothpasers, you have bad breath, and
(36:19):
and uh there's some other things to be asked her
for to take an STD test, like all things. While watching,
I really don't think we're ridiculous. I thought his approach
needed to be changed. He could have been a little
bit more delicate, especially about the STD test, Like his
daughter said, that's a good idea. You take one and
then be like, hey, I take I took one. I
just want to make sure we're all safe, you know.
But anyway, Uh, well that was yeah, that was He
(36:42):
was exactly what I thought he was gonna be, which
I found quite endearing. But we have emails coming up,
so you're not gonna want to miss out on that
in case, Anonymous A. K. Nick Bile writes in, But
before then, here's a word from a sponsor. Okay, we
(37:07):
are back with a little bit more of Sucky Dating,
and we're gonna talk to you guys about some emails
that she decided to take the time to email us,
which we really appreciate you. You You guys want to follow
us on Instagram we are at help. I suck at dating.
It's a great follow Jared. You want to read the
first one from the first one that emails we got,
But I do kind of want to contin I want
to continue plugging the Instagram. Is that too much? So again,
(37:29):
you just follow us. We are at help underscore, I
suck at dating. Uh. There's pictures of DN on there. Uh.
Sometimes I'm on there too. Uh. It's really cool. You
can like us, you can follow us. Truthfully, Here's the thing.
I want to get us to be the most followed
I heart radio podcast Instagram, and right now we're like
(37:50):
six seven hundred and scrubbing in is like a little
less than twenty three thousand. And I know that there
are people listening to this podcast who don't follow us.
So what I need you guys to do, what I
need Suck Army to do, is follow us and just
give me this little satisfaction of being the most followed podcast.
That's all. That's all just doing for Jake anyway, All right,
let's get emails. Uh. This is from Lose. I'm a
(38:13):
mini Giannina. I am twenty four years old and my
fiance is thirty and we are from Jersey, and I
find myself sometimes getting close Giannini's level of heat from
the show Love Is Blind. Never do I cuss my
fiance out, but I definitely get angry and I get
a little cuckoo. My fiance and I are constantly working out,
(38:35):
and of course I have never made us end things
as we are getting married in June, but I definitely
would love some techniques with this department. How do you
keep cool when somebody drives you so crazy or does
something that really bothers you? Dean? How do you stay
cool when Kaitlin does something that annoys you and while
you want to address it, you can't get angry. How
do I stay cool in a situation like that? I
(38:56):
think we've talked about this before. We just talk it out.
Sometimes we let it fester. You're a little too long,
but then you just reach your boiling point and you're like, Hey,
what's the deal, what's going on? If you can have
an open dialogue with with the person that you're talking to,
I don't think that there really should anything You should
ever really get that bad? What do you think? Yeah?
I mean I agree, I mean Ashley, it's hard right
because you want to you want to have an open dialogue.
(39:17):
But do you find any time in your relationship when
Kalin or even you towards Kalin, you guys are being
a little too honest, where like everything that's bothering you
you address and then it becomes a point like how
many times do almost like you're a pain in the ass? Yeah,
thanks to me, I'll say things, uh, and she'll be like,
(39:39):
She'll obviously be like, well, you're getting upset about that,
you know, And it's just like stupid little things. And
I think to the earlier part of the episode when
we're saying how just irritable we are in the situations
that we are, Like, that's what it is. You just
find like you're getting annoyed about little dumb things. I
annoyed myself with stupid little things too, But yeah, I
think it's just like you have to put into a
perspective about how insignificant the annoying things here. I know,
(40:01):
what do you think? Well, it's hard because Ashley. Ashley
is such a great communicator. She says everything that's on
her mind. You guys know, Ashley, She's the most transparent
person I've ever met. She literally can't tell a lie.
But I think sometimes that bugs me because she'll say
everything that bothers her, even if it's something small, and
she doesn't say it in a bad way or a
mean way. She's just like, hey, can you not do that?
(40:23):
And it's like, can you just let one thing go?
Can you let one thing go? But then I come
back to me and tell myself, well, this is your wife.
She should tell you whatever bothers her. But at the
same time, I just want, you know, maybe maybe if
there's one small thing that bothers you, just don't say it.
Just don't say let it go, and we'll all be happy.
I go back and forth. I don't know what the
(40:43):
right answer is. Is there a big thing that actually
doesn't bothers you? Maybe not now, but like that she
had done in the past, that you expressed that you
didn't like, that you can think of, Oh, I think,
um man, that's actually a great question which I don't
know the answer to right now. A big thing that
she used to do that maybe she doesn't do anymore. Well,
she has a tough time of letting things go. Man,
(41:05):
that's the one thing. Like we'll have a you know,
we'll have a you know, a disagreement and we won't
really come to a resolution because even though we articulated
each other's points, like, we still are kind of like
I still see I still see my argument over yours,
and she just cannot let that go. She can't be like, Okay,
we disagree. She just needs like for you to understand
her point and not agree with her, but like make
(41:28):
her not feel crazy. And so that's one thing where
I'm like, you gotta just hey, we came to you know,
everything's fine. Now we can change the subject to move on.
And she's like, no, no, no no, you're not understanding my point,
Like you gotta let it go, Let it go. I
think I thought of one too, and I've talked about
this like years ago on this podcast. But my biggest
pet peeves, or at least one of my biggest pet peeves,
(41:50):
is when I say something, and granted I do mumble often,
so it's it's not always the other person's fault, but
I'll say something and the first response, maybe even before
you're done saying what you were saying, is is them
responding what? And just something about the word what really
just drives me up the wall, Like if you didn't
hear what the person said to say, like pardon, excuse me,
like can you repeat yourself? Like there are more polite
(42:11):
ways too to be refreshed on the things they just said.
But more often than not, what is really frustrating for
me is when I say something, the person responds what,
And then what I've done, what I've started doing as
an adult, is I just won't repeat myself, and then
they'll answer the question or respond to the statement. You know,
they knew it took them a while to figure out
(42:31):
what I said, but they were using the word what
as a time folder to figure it out. Why do
people do that? I do that sometimes, Yeah, I mean
I do. I do as well. I'm guilty of it
as well. But it's just for some reason so frustrating
for me. And there are times where, like when Cayleen
and I for the first, you know, ten months of
our relationship, she was super, super good at it, and
I don't know if maybe she was like listening more
(42:53):
intently or if I was speaking more clearly, But I've
noticed over the past month I've had to start repeating
myself a little bit more. Like we have like little
irritable arguments over that which I get really frustrated by,
and like, I, I know, it's so silly to me
to get frustrated by, Like I I feel myself getting frustrated,
and I'm like, dude, why are you getting upset about?
Like just annoyed by? This doesn't make sense? Um. But
(43:14):
then she like she sees it happening too, and so
she tries to like, you know, we're both trying to
be better at it. But it's that's that's definitely the
one thing that drives us to argue a little bit
more often than anything else. So how do you stay
cool like in that moment where you find yourself getting
annoyed and you realize you're getting annoyed? How do you
not just like have a little outburst. What do you do? Well?
(43:34):
I just get quiet. If Kylen were to answer this question,
she would just say that I just shut off and
don't talk for however much time I need to cool down.
That's kind of what I do, is just focus on
something else. I do this come back. Yeah, I wonder
if that's healthy. I wonder if that's the right thing
to do. It's probably not. We're probably gonna like spontaneously
combusts someday. I think, oh, well, well at least one
(43:56):
hell of a story. Well, we hope that, we hope
that that that non answer helped our listener out there.
Do we say it was lose, was lose or less?
I'm sorry, I think yeah. Anyways, that'll do it for
this week's episode. I know that we wish we could
answer more emails, but we'll save a couple more for
next week as well. Thank you to Ed Brown of
(44:17):
course for calling in and being a guest with us,
Jared as always, and Tori of course. Thanks you guys
for listening, and we will be sure to see you
next week, where maybe we will suck just a little
bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I
Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast
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