February 1, 2025 • 55 mins
Thelma & Louise are grilling "Golden Bachelorette" contestants Chock, Gary, and Guy and getting all the good stuff!
Golden fans will be in shock at Chock.
And, then in an unexpected twist the guys put Thelma and Louise on blast.
You'll never believe which Golden Guy was catfished after being on the show!
Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)
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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Welcome to I Do Part two, the podcast that's all
about finding love the second time around. Here we are
Thelma and Louise, still single, still trying to do our best,
and we are luckily in Pebble Beach at the pro
am with three amazingly hot, age appropriate guys also from
The Bachelor. So welcome. We have Chalk, Gary and Guy,
(00:36):
and it's Thelma and Louise. And as much as we
would love to grill you all day long about The Bachelor,
we are actually here to talk to the three of
you about Chapter two, dating post the TV show, what
it was like pre and just kind of get into
the minds of you three amazing.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I'm going to make a slight correction, not the Bachelor,
the Golden.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Oh oh sorry, you just look so young.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
We are. We are the Golden Bachelor's Golden Bachelors.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
From the Golden Batte.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
But because we're also in your age range, we just
look at you.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
I'll take that. I think.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Dating, Yeah, let me slide closer to the guy over here.
Speaker 5 (01:16):
My dating life's been great after the show, different days,
I met all kinds of women, a lot of trouble.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
But how your dating life change post the show? Like,
what was that. I'd love to know the dating kind
of pre the show.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Pre the show, you know, I I dated differently. I
dated locally in the Reno area. But then I decided to,
like a lot of us at this age, I delved
into the dating apps.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Oh so fun.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
It's crazy to tell them our dating app situation.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Interestingly enough, I would actually say, you know, I met
a lot of very very nice, fun, intelligent, you know
women on the dating apps, oftentimes from me, though they
were you know, yeah, I had travel, you know, to
to be able to actually see them in person because
they don't don't necessarily live in the Reno Tahoe area.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Can I ask a question real quick though, percentage wise?
How many of their pictures look like them?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
That's my question, and then we'll give you.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I also want to know your age range too, because
that's the whole thing we experience in la Is. Guys
want to date.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
Way younger or they put you know, their age, They
put their ages sixty and then in their comments they
say my age is actually seventy two, and I'm like,
that didn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
There's a lot of attack.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Let's jump to this because I told you I'll ask anything. Okay,
So women do that all the time and they go, well,
guys want younger women. So we'll start with you. Is
it Thelma or Luise?
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Theoma?
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Louise, I'm Thema. What's catuemb the youngest guy?
Speaker 7 (02:52):
Well, I'm not gonna lie post divorce and my divorce
was a bit unique. My recipe for kind of moving
on was a little different.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
And so I got divorced. At how old was I?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
It was twenty fourteen for both of us, and we're
so you were forty one forty.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
One, so I probably like, I mean twenty five, but
like I telling you, it was, it was. It was one.
It was it was literally like two.
Speaker 7 (03:25):
Or three for six months, and then it was like, okay,
many we have nothing in common.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
They'd just gotten their first credit.
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Card and like we get n I do think part
of the journey in life too, is you need to
do that to see if that's what you want.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Oh I didn't want it.
Speaker 7 (03:37):
I just needed to like heal and that was like
my process and then and then I was like I'm
ready for people that I can actually relate to.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Yeah, and you.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
So when I first got divorced, I was on a
girl's trip to New York, and my friends were like,
we're going to do something different for you, and so
there poured me out there and they found some young,
hot guy and you basically sent him home with I
don't even know if there was uber than ten years
about ten years ago and it was literally one and done,
and I was like, this is just not my jam,
Like I prefer age appropriate. Definitely, a lot of my
(04:08):
friends in LA date younger guys and they have to
pay for them, and it's all I don't even know.
Speaker 7 (04:14):
Also, this could be a misconception, but I feel like,
as a woman, I don't want to date somebody too
young because I don't want to feel old. And I
think a misconception that I have is do men want
to date younger women because then it makes them feel
kind of either young or it's a trophy.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
And yeah, and so for me dating someone younger, I
would not go below ten years below my age. I
want someone that's refreshing.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
In Los Angeles, ye age appropriate for.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Me because coming up through the ranks like we do,
we look they are still finding their way and I'm
at a point in my life now where I don't
want to help you find in your way. I don't
have time because it's just not worth it and it's
very expensive. As you can imagine dating someone younger who's
(05:10):
expecting an older guy to step in and be like
this totally. So it's ten years for me, I will
go fifty.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Five, but not below that.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
He's sixty five, doesn't he look good for me? Amazing?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Golden, amazing? Okay? Yeah, you what about you guy? What
what's your age?
Speaker 7 (05:28):
Like?
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Yeah, let's take kind of too criteria with that, and
I would, you know, be in the same lines as
Gary here somewhere around ten years. But you know, I
don't put in an absolute age because I mean if they
were fifty three and you know there was a connection, yea,
I would go down. In other words, no, no, you know, no,
(05:50):
you know, you know it would be flattering. But the
reality is that you alluded to you just don't have
many things in common. I always like to say that
if I have to explain to him who led Zeppelins,
we got a problem.
Speaker 7 (06:02):
Well. And also, I mean it's not pretty to talk about,
but what about the health.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
I mean, let's be honest.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Well, and that's the other is that, you know, especially
if somebody is younger and they actually would be interested
in going out with you to say, you know, I'm
sixty six, you know, and let's say you're forty six. Well,
when you're my age, I'm going to be eighty six
years old. Do you really want that?
Speaker 5 (06:22):
Women?
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Women a much better than than men do.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
So you three of aged really well.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
I do have a story for you. That's that's a
that's comforting.
Speaker 5 (06:31):
You know the date that Joan and I had at Disneyland,
the first one on one date. The execs give you
a whole and I came back and I said, guys,
I'm going to start.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Giving this story. No, we saw it on the show,
but what.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
You didn't see here is I said, Okay, I'm going
to give this prize to which one of you bachelor
guys bachelorette guys has been with the youngest woman. And
I will not tell you because it's guycode, but it
would absolutely surprise the fans who'd been with the youngest woman.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Oh you have you have to say, gee, I love guy.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Not this guy.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
So you're the guy, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Because you said guy and I'm thinking it was not guys.
Brother of advanced.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
They could sit there and think about that, but it
was somebody you would least expect.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I love guy.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Remember who it was?
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, By the way, the whole frat aspect. Can you
imagine going back in time after like living the lives
you live and then literally going back into a frat
house mentality? How much fun to do that for another
kind of sliver?
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Well, ironically we were roommates.
Speaker 7 (07:27):
No, my gosh, no one of you guys are sitting
so cozily on that couch together.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
If it were any of us, we'd be the same
way for the for the whole crew.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
We had a lot of late conversation. Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Did you two do apps? Also?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
No, I did an app like twenty thirty years ago,
not thirty.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Oh my god, I'm really sure my age.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Uh, it was like around the early two thousands, and
I had some pretty good luck with that because it
was like the third time in that was someone that
I ended up being with for like eight.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
To ten years. Wow, So it.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Worked out in my favor. But now I don't that's
that's not my choice of.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
So do you find it easy to meet women in
kind of real life? I mean, I assume after the
show it's probably also easier.
Speaker 7 (08:19):
Well, I mean, has your approached I guess you had
your kind of pre the show and then post show.
Do you feel like your approach to dating is different
as a result of the show and kind of what
is that now?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
These guys are getting a lot of action.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
I mean, the women are coming out of it's as guys.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
It's very flattering, it's very flattering. But I've become more selective.
I become more confident in my own skin, saying I
don't want, I don't need, I'm not looking, and so
you know these's that's just not.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Going to work.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
So you're discerning, Yeah, very much.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
So very much.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
So how about you guys regarding you know what?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
I yeah, you know, it has been interesting phenomenon since,
you know, after the show, because you know, I didn't
realize it would I would be recognized as much as
I am, even you know, if you go to Vegas.
I'm just was kind of just blown away, like how
many people stop me. Didn't realize how popular the show
was and how many people really tune in. And they
(09:25):
they really you know, different different guys. They resonated with
their character, not the characters, but their personality.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But that is such a universal theme, right, so it
just appeals to so many everybody.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Basically it is. And so yeah, I mean, you know people,
you know, I have been approached you know, more than once,
less than a thousand times. I don't know, somewhere around there.
But it's you know a lot of times. You know,
you have to be very careful, especially if they slide
into your DM because everybody, yeah, they maybe they want
(09:59):
you know, just there five minutes of fame or whatever.
It is like that.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Okay, So what's the best story you've had thus far?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
He does have a good one.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
He's got at least one good Come.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
On, you've been on national television.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
You got to tell us, yes, yeah, yes I did.
I did meet somebody who you know, just kind of
reached out. And oftentimes you get these messages and it's
almost like fan mail. They just are there and they're
so supportive. I've not received one negative message from anyone.
It's it's it's overwhelming. Actually, the number of very positive comments.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Are they writing from prison?
Speaker 7 (10:40):
You know?
Speaker 4 (10:40):
I don't know that. Yeah, oh my god, but I
can tell you I'll finish going going back. You know, Yes,
I have been catfished.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Have you several times interesting. So have you guys dated
kind of anyone specific since the show? Like, have you
formed a connection with anybody?
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Can I go back?
Speaker 5 (11:03):
One thing I do want to say about dating younger.
I have a twenty five year old daughter and she
and I are very close, and she goes, Dad, if
you ever date anyone close to my age, I'm bringing
a sixty five year old man home.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
So it's my kids have a strong opinion too, they
said to me. They came on from college and they said, Mom,
we're getting very concerned about your options. I was like,
what do you mean. They go, it just seems like
it's like the twenty five year old or you know,
the eighty year old, and I was like, wow, that
sounds pretty grim. Do you have a preference, they said
the older guy. I said, okay, good to know that's awesome.
Speaker 7 (11:38):
But I think ten years is good. I like your
ten years, so that's kind of mine as well. I
think ten years because ten years can be physical, but
it also like people can be really an old or
a young But I think using ten years is kind
of the rain good benchmin.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
I just think if you're in love, let it have Oh,
says the guy I worked out for Jones nine muths
older than I am.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
I mean, do you believe an instant connection or do
you guys believe more in a slow burn in terms
of the longevity or the health of a relationship.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Personally speaking, my relationships, the serious ones had been really
first impression really where you just go like butterfly. But
there's been a lot that, you know, you go hey,
I kind of like them when it fizzled out. But
with Joan, I can't speak for her that it was
pretty much instant.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
And what about the concept of like when you feel
a spark, it's almost like a warning signal or like
a mirror of your childhood one.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
That's you, that's I don't feel that way really yeah, Or.
Speaker 5 (12:35):
You just have bad decisions. I mean, you know you
like a bad type of person. And I shouldn't say bad,
but I've said this on other podcasts. My mother had
this big thing going. If that significant other than your
person in your life doesn't make your life better, it's
the wrong person. And it's pretty simple. They need to
make your life better. Not that they're all about you,
but your life is better because they're in your life.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
They also need to elevate you, Like we're really big
on people.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
That fell instant connection thing is is really important because
I think that there is an attraction that you have
to have for them physically and you're feeling something emotionally
and the adrenaline that comes from that you say, this
is someone I want to spend some time with so
ultimately yeah, and get to know. So from that perspective,
(13:22):
I think it is important to have that initial attraction
of Wow, this I'm feeling something right now. It's like
an energy yes, totally, totally.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Yeah, you know for me it's it's I would say
that immediate. I would say that when I've had, you know,
the really intense relationships, I know, within days.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Okay, so how do you follow up?
Speaker 7 (13:55):
So you have you meet somebody you have this instant
connection and chemistry, and I guess it's kind of interesting
talking to you right now because you guys are both
being sought after by many, right, so it might not
be we haven't based i mean leveled out right, Not
that you're ever going to level out.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I'm sure it's just going to have the pick of
the litter rocket. You have the pick of the letter
right now. But at your age and our age.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
When you meet somebody and you like them right away,
like do you come on strong?
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Do you play games? Do you you know what I mean?
Speaker 7 (14:21):
Way to customary three days before texting them, Like what's
your approach?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I think it's more natural where if I'm feeling the
need to text or call and vice versas, so it's
a two way street. And if I'm getting the age, yeah, yeah,
the games as I mean, you're done.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Nobody likes somebody who smiles you. I mean, let's just
be honest.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
To right totally.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
Yeah, some people do and they want somebody. I know.
I've got people in my life that they're my mother
or husband. They took a trip for eighteen months. They
were together every day.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Oh my gosh, it's amazing.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
And their lives were just built around each other. But
I think that's the exception or other people like Jonah
and I we kind of like those three or four
days where were we have a do our laundry. To
not have that pressure when you get older, it's just
I can do the things I need to.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And we talk about that a lot, like not needing
the twenty four to seven yeah, kind of day to day.
Speaker 7 (15:09):
But I think It's also different because if you have
been single for a while or divorced or you know,
on your own, you get used to your autonomy and
your independence and then you want somebody. But it's like,
how do you incorporate a significant other into your life?
And I always have the question for people, like do
you see it as a traditional relationship there? You want
(15:30):
to be with somebody you know, live under the same roof,
be with each other all the time, versus distance, versus
a companion that you you know, kind of have your
cake and eat it too. And I don't mean that
in any salacious way. I just mean, like, what do
you think on that?
Speaker 5 (15:44):
I think that's why you date. You spend time with people. Yeah,
you know, it comes back to the smother and some
people want contact all the time. Other people don't, and
you spend that time with them. You go, this is
what I'm comfortable, this is what I like in my life.
And you could love somebody, but it's just the little
things could push you apart.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Yeah, totally, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
As and as Chuck mentioned earlier about his mom and
her husband at eighteen monthly, I think it's generationally that
age group was more connected. Our age group is more
I need a couple days every so often too recalibrate.
Speaker 7 (16:15):
To recalibrate, the younger group is like, we're going to
text from a different building.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
I'm learning the game, so I'm going to play the game.
I'm not going to reach out for three days. I'm
not I can't call them within a certain period of time.
So I think generationally it makes a difference at our age, right,
that's a good point totally.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I just think also at our age, like in terms
of the spirit of no games, like what happens when
you go out with somebody or on a date and
you just to your point, you don't feel it right away?
How do you kind of directly say, like I didn't
feel a love connection or I mean, you're not gonna
we're not going to got somebody at our age right
direct please.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I'll the last. I'll the last. You know, if I
meet somebody and I'm not, you know, feeling the connection
right away, I don't prolong it at all. I think
it's a disservice to the other person too, you know,
if they're developing emotional attachment to you and you're not
to them. So I usually just say, you know, gosh.
(17:21):
And most time they're really nice, you know, wonderful people,
but you're just not feeling it. So I just you know,
politely say, you know, I'm just exactly that you.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Do it face to face.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
At this point.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Not after one or two dates though, No, But I mean, oh,
I'm saying one or two dates and to their.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
Face, I well, at least still on a telephone conversation,
if not in their face.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
No, I'm not like, is it at the restaurant where
you're like, you.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Know, oh no, no, no, no, because you want to like,
you know, kind of everything you know, think about. It's
just but oftentimes I know, within.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Fifteen minutes and you can kind of read the root.
I mean think I've been on dates where I can
tell maybe they're not into me or I'm not in
I mean, we all can kind of pick up on
the cues now, right, Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
So I think it's it's a lot of respect for
the other person too, though, because I don't think you
have a right to sit there and go I don't
like you because of.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
This, right.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
Oh, And it's you know, sometimes you can ghost them sometimes,
you know, and if you get ghosted, there's no interest.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
But I think treat people you want to treat it.
I mean, I know it's a simple role.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
But then I think it comes back to what obligation
do you have you go out with somebody for a
date or two? Are you obligated to say I don't.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Really like you? Okay?
Speaker 3 (18:29):
But see here's my problem. We kind of differ on this.
Speaker 7 (18:33):
I we both believe the chivalry is not dead, so
we love like a true gentleman open your door.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I mean, that's a garage.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
We really like that.
Speaker 7 (18:44):
But I feel a little uncomfortable because of course I'm
flattered and appreciate when people buy me dinner, but then
I kind of feel this obligation sometimes where I'm like, oh,
like I can't leave the table.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Even if I'm not interested because he just bought me dinner.
And that's rude. And you know, I mean, I don't know,
it's just it gets complicated.
Speaker 5 (19:02):
That's just day why. I have a question for you too,
So let's go talk about paying for dinner. What are
your opinions on who should pay for dinner?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
There's some meditation here, No, there's not. I mean, look
for me, it's like I'm raising two boys, and you know,
this is something we talk about we believe in chivalry.
We're in our fifties. I like when a man, you
know in the beginning, has paid for my dinner. I'm
happy to treat and do things and do special things,
but I don't.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I don't know. I believe in chivalry still.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
Yeah, I'm with you one hundred percent, and I'm raising.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
My boys and I'm raising my boys that way.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Agree more. Yeah, totally, I would not. There's no way
I would. For the first day, I would not pay
for it.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Well, I also think.
Speaker 7 (19:48):
If you so he's saying, if somebody asks me, if
a man asks me out to dinner, you have invited
me to dinner.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
So I would expect you to pay. But I will
tell you I wouldn't expect.
Speaker 7 (19:57):
I would be appreciative if you paid, and I would
always when the check came for me first dinner, would
always say, oh, that's so nice.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Are you sure? And I definitely like I would so
that it's not a conclusion.
Speaker 7 (20:12):
And I mean, but I will tell you if you
did take it and split it, it would just be
a note to me like okay. Again, if we dated
subsequent times, or if I said, hey, I'd like to
take you, you know what I mean, for a hike
and lunch or whatever. I feel like I invited him
and I would pay. So it's but at the beginning, especially,
I like when somebody.
Speaker 5 (20:31):
Kind of I want to speak for these three guys.
Even if you offered to pay, we're going to pay.
But after a number of days, it's kind of nice
when I'll pick up one, right, I'll get.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
The valet or show up with like a candle or
something like that. Like I went away. I was dating
somebody and we went away for the weekend and I
showed up with like, I don't know, like a cute
viewery hoodie, and he was like so knocked out by it.
He's like wow, And I was like, you're so generous
with me. So there's different ways to show appreciation, but
that thank you, because PEO will not say thank you.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
When they don't thank you, I remember that and then
you go back to it they raise that way, or
they just don't like you, or but you know, you
psycho analyze everything on that.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
You guys, You like, what's a good day, what are
we doing?
Speaker 3 (21:17):
What do you women?
Speaker 5 (21:18):
I'm on a roll here, but I got to ask
a question back to Bezos fiance's dress at the inauguration.
I want a woman to look good, joke always looks.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Good, sophisticated, amazing, and I.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
Don't want to say Lauren Sanchez. But to me, that
was inappropriate first day. If somebody dresses a little inappropriate,
I'm out.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Okay, so you're more sophisticated, not sexy.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Class I don't mean classic, understated.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Classic, classic, classy.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
You're not allowed to use the word classy.
Speaker 7 (21:50):
My mom said, if you you have to say a
class act.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
You're not allowed you classy.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Okay, class class and reason. Let these guys on.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
I was trained that a first date, a first interview,
you're probably going to get the best out of the person,
and if they're looking trappy or something like that, it's
probably going to go downhill. We can argue that, but
that's because when you have a date with a guy,
if you have interest, you're putting your a game on.
Speaker 7 (22:16):
Okay, okay, we talk about outfits, So what I hear
what you're saying, But outfits like do you like do
you like.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Do you like women to show up a little more
dressy casual? Like what like?
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Well, we have ray vision, you don't have to put
it out there. We can tell what you look like naked.
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Do you know that. I had a guy show up
and I said, how do you decide between lunch and dinner?
And he says, if I'm a little unsure about the pictures,
I like lunch because it's during the day so I
can really see her body when she's walking towards the tablets.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I like, you know, I like the words you use
class act. It depends where we're going, and we're going
to go to the beach, to a restaurant, or if
we're going to go in town, depending on the setting,
which makes a big difference. Read them, but read the room,
know the lay of the land, and just be class
(23:16):
act about how you're representing yourself. Because it's saying something
about you as a person. I'm already casting judgment and passing.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
You know.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
My opinions internally, like is this gonna work?
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Is this someone that.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
I could take to Yes, it's someone I can take
to the baseball game. Is this someone I can bring
home to the kids, or if there's a family event
or if we're going to a picnic. How is is
this person going to be in a in a mini
skirt with you know, with with bo. Yeah, so yeah,
it's it just depends. It just depends.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Thoughts same and yeah, I'd like them to dresh appropriately
for the occasion, and I'd like them to look very stylish.
I want them to look attractive, you know, I want
I don't have any trouble if you know, you know
they turn people's heads when they want absolutely not because
(24:10):
of something over.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
The you don't want to walk flower absolutely.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
Something to sometimes you know, like I have a date
recently and I had a woman cup up and said,
you are the luckiest guy in this in this restaurant
right now because of the person I was with, and
it's you know, I mean made me feel really really good,
like I am lucky.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Do you like one woman approach you?
Speaker 7 (24:32):
I mean, do you like women that are more shy
and reserved and you make the first move or how
do you feel when that's an interesting.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Point you make because these days and at this time,
it's a lot different when you yes, it's amazing. Well,
one thing I was going to say that I'm going
to piggyback on what guys said, is I love a
woman who walks in the room and the furniture leads
her way or the heads turned, everyone is like, and
(25:03):
I get to sit there and say, she's with me.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
We really did get along.
Speaker 5 (25:21):
There was just different personality, different issues, but no fact,
no fights, no cat fight or anything like that, and
it was really great. We called it free group therapy
just because you know, we've all had some happened in
our lives and we sit down just as guys go, man,
this happened to me and another guy. It wouldn't want
up in you. It was just I've been through this.
It was fantastic and with all.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Due respect, we gave each guy the opportunity to finish
their story because it was for me it was more
of a spiritual journey and being comfortable in my own skin.
But allowing these guys to get out their stories that
we don't usually or often get to, who talk about
what we have buried to allowed us to be the
(26:04):
men that we are today.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
So it was really twofold. Like a lot of the
show was the actual living in the house and creating
these relationships and doing that, and then the other part
of it was dating Joan finding love and doing that
part as well. Absolutely really important.
Speaker 7 (26:17):
And that's interesting because I watched the show first, I said,
as great as your love story was, and it was
amazing and still is.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
I The takeaway for me was watching the camaraderie between
all of you. It was touching.
Speaker 7 (26:32):
And to watch guys really let down their barriers and
share things and their insecurities and their again their emotional
baggage or you know, talking about families and everything. It
was I mean, I'm getting chills as I say it.
But I said to Nika, I said, that was the
takeaway for me. And when people were crying when they
were leaving the show, it wasn't. I mean, they loved
(26:54):
Joan and it connected with Joan, but they were equally
as sad to leave each other.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I mean, you as we're sad that thing came to
an end.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
Yeah. I referred to it as a retreat for sexagenarian man,
and you know, it was very interesting and sure these
guys will you know, attest to this is that you think,
you know, you're sitting around the pool or you know,
around the mansion that we would be talking about you know, football, baseball,
(27:22):
those kind of things. We talked about our lives, we
talked about our past history, we talked about things we've
gone through and we've shared. We shared with that over
and over again, and it was you know, you would
do that on a one on one basis, you do
it with one on you two other people and you
just be having these incredible conversations.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Is vulnerable moments.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
Yeah, and they allowed me to, you know, and that
and I journaled the whole thing and you know, for
that whole time, and it was and then I go
back and look at that and the intense.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I felt safe telling my story. I felt safe sharing my.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
Story with these guys.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Have you any to be vulnerable friendships?
Speaker 5 (28:01):
Have kind of absolutely And guy and I talk a lot.
I said, guide code, but it's really grown up cold
code because we talked about stuff and they didn't show,
you know, some of it was picked up on the cameras,
but we talked about life change, the stuff from death
to bad marriages. We did things right, we did things wrong.
I've yet to see one guy betray the other one.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Yeah. There's a lot of men's group in LA where
we live. You know, I have a lot of friends
who do it and it's kind of like a safe
space and similar to almost what you guys experienced living.
Speaker 7 (28:35):
To the fact that you were all kind of caged
animals and had a lot of time together or do
you know, like.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Go back to casting and luck, because I do think
there was part of it going is this person sol good?
And part of it will this journey be good for
them as well? But again not one guy's betrayed another guy,
and that's phenomenal because all the producers go, you wouldn't
leave these young kids.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
They can't fight and everything.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
It's just we mature.
Speaker 7 (29:01):
I think it's just different and under like the unlike
the younger version of the show, you know, the the regular,
the twenty year old Bachelor's where it's competitive and cat
fights and this, I mean you all were rooting for
each other when you were going on the dates.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
I mean, I'd like to just slightly correct. We weren't caged.
We were together like a fraternity. So there was this
amazing journey initially of getting through the process and it
became a point of I'm going to prove that my
record is so clean that I'm able to go and
(29:37):
do this. And then there was the night, the first
night of the rose ceremony, and that was the initiation.
And once that happened, we were like a fraternity.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
Would you agree with that.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
Yes, the thing the thing that I really liked, And
there was a lot of fans going, you've got these
mature guys and you're putting them in bunk beds and
all that. It was fantastic. Yeah, and there wasn't really
one of the It was a change for one person,
but there wasn't real anybody that complained about And it
was great. I didn't say that, but I watched it.
He could, he could speak for himself. But you look
(30:11):
at the relationships. You know what night we're sitting there talking.
In the morning, you would talk. I loved actually being
in that room with the five of us.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Yes, it exists, like some of the real emotions that
come up as you're all vying for Joan, Like how
did that also kind.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Of I would say, No, there.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Was nothing so refreshing here.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
That was not Yeah, I don't know how hell it was,
you know when the women you know, kind of behind
closed doors. But we didn't really we didn't, at least
I didn't talk about Joan with other guys very much.
We we all had the per se, you know, but
we just kind of talked about the experience and they
supported each other and whatever was happening. So you know,
(30:55):
Toxic on On is one on one that Disneyland. Everybody
was like so happy.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
For right and when he got back, how'd he go?
When you want to talk about it? I, oh my god.
And then so it's like that had.
Speaker 5 (31:06):
Two moments of jealousy and I think I should I
was the final guy. So the big the reward one
on one date was the helicopter ride. Yes, and we
all knew it was going to happen, we just didn't
know who. And so the guys and it was it
was Keith on this and so they the producers go,
you guys, go get out in the pool. We knew
something was up. Then we're at there about fifteen minutes
(31:27):
and they go, what is that up in the air,
And the helicopter buzzed this twice and we're sitting there
doing I wanted that guy because we knew it was
so cool.
Speaker 4 (31:34):
I remember, and then I needed to be up there.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
And then Mark when he got the date with Joan
uh because last year they took a helicopter to this
big yacht and landed on it and so it said
like bring your fishing pool or something, so we knew
it was off shore and Bart comes.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
Back to the date.
Speaker 5 (31:50):
He is just gleating. I mean he is, and I
go brother, camera goes, well, tell me about the boat.
He goes, I w wasn't on a boat. We're all
like this, he goes, I was on a yacht. So yeah,
it's not like, you know, he got a one up.
It's like, man, that would have been fun. But you know,
(32:12):
Disneyland worked out real well for Jona and I. It
gave us a lot of time together.
Speaker 7 (32:26):
Did you learn any dating tips from the show, like
from each other as you watched guys approach And.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
For me it wasn't. It wasn't like that. It was
just be you.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
I can benefit.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
From what you did or what you said or something
like that. But it was more of just enjoy this
moment that I have. Not necessarily I'm going to copy
and do what the guy did.
Speaker 5 (32:57):
If there's not a woman that hadn't fallen in love
with this guy because his I say soulfulness, but you're carried.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
He was.
Speaker 5 (33:05):
I'll tell you, he was the most carrying guy on
the show. Absolutely when somebody was was asked to leave
something like this, the consoling uh he was helped me
in a situation that I had. This was the best
guy on the show.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
You that off of you.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
And he's the best dress you've ever seen. I mean,
but you.
Speaker 5 (33:26):
Said that guy was such a good friend, and Kim Cutson,
you know, for his personality, caught a little bit of heat.
The guy was there friending Kim and he was the
one that stood up and sang the song. Yes, Yes,
I give him kudos. And then when you talk to
Charles l about his wife that I don't think you'd
(33:48):
see that, and it was heartfelt.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
You saw the change in Charles like he needed to
hear that.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
Yeah, I will say that. You know, when I was
having the conversation with him, I didn't realize the impact
I was having at the time because I've had that
conversation with patients for a thousand times, right as working
thirty five years in the er. When I watched it
after on the show, I was going, Okay, no matter
what happens the rest of the show, whether I get
(34:19):
another rose or anything.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
You made an impact.
Speaker 4 (34:24):
I mean, the opportunity to be able to impact somebody's
life like that.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
So sweet is you have a great bedside manner. I
bet you are a very you know the way you
dealt with patients, I'm sure was really special.
Speaker 4 (34:35):
You know. One of the things I will say is that,
you know, because you're talking about like other people's playbook,
the way I looked at and I think everybody else was,
you know, probably at the same time. And I didn't
think of it as being a competition when I was there.
What I was trying to find out was was Joan
my person and the my Jones person and could we
(34:56):
see having, you know, an extended relationship. That's what the
I was like, Man, I need to be X, Y
and Z, because it wasn't the competition. It was like,
can we develop this connection?
Speaker 1 (35:06):
I think that's so important with dating now is I
think you know, I used to spend a lot of
time I don't want to say, like trying to sign
the guide because I, you know, I just wanted to
make sure then that I had the choice. And now
I sit on a date and as much as I
I worry less if they're feeling a connection to me,
it's more about am I feeling a connection to them?
And that matters almost just as much because the rejection
(35:27):
piece was super tough for me back in the day.
What about you guys rejection.
Speaker 5 (35:32):
Can I real quick, I need to go back and
say something. I did have one other moment of envy,
and I want your whole listening audience to have this.
I came in the show and I was working out
hard and I'd lost some weight. I was in pretty
good shape, and there were some other guys that were
in good shape. But I thought I was in real
good shape till guy took a shirt off and then
I was.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Like, I.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Can't compete.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
I was just ripped.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
So I did have to say that.
Speaker 6 (36:00):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 7 (36:01):
So did you guys kind of get ready for the show,
like made sure you were bringing your best version of yourself?
Speaker 4 (36:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
But then something happened. Once you get there and they've
got all your wonderful.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Foods, do you kick the food?
Speaker 2 (36:15):
We killed their ole meals?
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Yeah? Yeah. There was there was no chef.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
And uh catering catering or well there was catering when
we had our our parties and stuff like that, but
there was no you know, it was It was really
humbling with what we had to go through, and it
made us more grounded, I think, and helped us to
realize what's really important. Here are us and not anything
(36:42):
else outside of here. And again Jackie's role was putting
together these men. That was just so amazing. And the
relationships that we now have with us for the rest
of our lives and stay in touch with each other.
You know, I can't tell you how happy him I
were over the past week.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
We kids to be able to see each other again.
So it's it's been fun. At the mansion, it was
it was family. It was like being in a family
because we had ye had some some men who were
really good at cooking. Like I don't cook.
Speaker 8 (37:21):
I know, however, however, that reminds me of story all
about but but I really couldn't do that well.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
But I knew how to wash and dry dishes and
put them away. And I said, that really was it
was you cook, I'll clean the mess up. I'm good
with that. So it was.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
And some guys enjoyed cooking, like Mark Anderson. He really
enjoyed putting together these meals without hesitation, and that was
that was great.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
I got to tell you, I was fortunate to meet
Mark Anderson. That guy, he's the guy if you had
a sister you'd want him him to date or he
was just solid, great dad. He was really solid during
the whole thing. And when Joan came and said, you're
not going to move on to the next thing, we
were saying goodbye to him and he whispers in my ear.
He goes, invite me to the wedding. Oh yeah, oh.
Speaker 7 (38:21):
And she was broken hearted to let him go, just
because she knew what a just great, solid guy he
was well and know there was a connection.
Speaker 5 (38:28):
I know better than anyone else other than Joan, just
the struggles she had letting people go and with Guy,
you know, and she told me about that. She goes,
I didn't want to take him to that next level
because you know, and I didn't even know about it
until afterwards. And she goes, well, and what the story was,
and I told Guy this the other day because we
didn't talk about this, is they kind of pit the
(38:50):
two people, the two contestants at the end against each other.
And she goes, I was not going to do that
to Guy because that already and what they do is
you profess your love, write him a love note and
all this stuff. And she goes, it just wasn't fair
to Guy.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
She was super elegant in the way she handled every situation.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
She was so there you go. She's a class act.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
She really is not class but class.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
You can't say classy. My mom says, you just can't
say classic. You just can't say classy.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
I can't say class.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
So do you know? So one of the things that
she and I do, and I wonder because I think
a bunch of you are single still so and you
all obviously keep in touch with each other. So a
lot of times when we'll go on a date and
maybe it's not a fit or vice versa, is we
will gently recycle, use, recycled.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
So we say one recycled.
Speaker 7 (39:43):
Because we did say that one woman's trash.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
It's like because trash, just what is it? Trash?
Speaker 1 (39:50):
He's not trash. It's just it didn't wasn't fit.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Yeah, good, God didn't aligne.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
So has that happened? Because you all know each other
so well, like perhaps have you gone out with woman
that perhaps wasn't for you, but you think guy would
be a great fit, and have you done that? Or
we do should So I'm actually going out. I'm actually
going out with.
Speaker 7 (40:10):
Somebody that I went out with and then she gave
to her sister and the sister didn't connect with him.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
And now I'm going out the next.
Speaker 5 (40:23):
Compliment, it's a complimentary charm.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
I mean, he's not me, He's okay, why don't you well, darling,
he's not. And so I mean, what a great.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
Wouldn't you be if you.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Were a guy and somebody said, you know, it wasn't
a fit. But I think enough of you that I
think you should go out with one of my friends.
Speaker 5 (40:45):
I have a success story in my life. I grew
up with a lady. She's a client, she's a friend
of mine. We climbed Kilimanjaro together.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
You want it.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
It's not on your bucket list.
Speaker 4 (40:55):
September, but that's where the car during the show and
that surgery, so it was off. I'm sorry, but I
have it from next year.
Speaker 5 (41:04):
So she lived in Austin and she on a dating app,
went out and met somebody and the guy goes, you know,
and you say, not for me, but he goes, I've
got a guy that you should meet. And it was
his best friend. They've been married for like twelve years.
Oh wow, And I mean, just the greatest couple.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
You never know.
Speaker 5 (41:18):
But what a compliment is going on? I do it
that time, Yeah, because we all want something different in
our lives.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
It's also that energy is there. You know, you might
be the most fabulous guy and we might sit across
the table and not feel an energy, and all of
a sudden you sit there with her and you're like,
my god, this is my person.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
Well, some people like smart people, you know, some people
like tall people, some people like a type personalities.
Speaker 4 (41:40):
You know, it's just there's it's just so different.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
And what we're looking for in our twenties is different
than our thirties, is different than our forties. Like, what
are you guys looking for now in your sixties?
Speaker 5 (41:49):
I say the sea word compatibility. You've got to be compatible.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
I hope, I hope that's the sea worder.
Speaker 4 (41:56):
Well, I've said that befotunate word. What's he going to say?
Speaker 7 (42:00):
But there's a lot of there's a lot of still.
Speaker 5 (42:04):
Sexual to say, you've got to be turned on by,
but the compatibility because you've been in a bad relationship,
you've been in a bad relationship, you have there is
almost nothing worse. There's death and all that, but being
in a bad relationship where you don't want.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
To get through. I don't feel like I've had many
bad relationships.
Speaker 4 (42:21):
Want to get divorced.
Speaker 7 (42:24):
Well that's another.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
Another podcast.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
You know, I'm going to jump off of your first
c because they had asked me early on, you know,
like whether you're looking for in a relationship, and I
actually came up with the five seas, which I expanded
to eight, and it was it was communication, it was compatibility,
it was commitment, it was caring, it was compromise. I
also throwing comedic, I love.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
I love my God.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
That's not negotiable.
Speaker 4 (42:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Yeah, and chemistry you need to nine.
Speaker 4 (42:57):
That's no. That was that was the one of that
and they never ate My brother Gary christ.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
Got it nice. It's a lot to see, really works
for a lot of important Where's it in a relationship?
Speaker 7 (43:09):
What advice can you give to women in terms of
good spots? I mean this sounds so tried after the
conversation we've had, but good spots that maybe they can
meet men or best ways to approach men or position
themselves online. And I know that's a broad question, but
just like whatever speaks.
Speaker 5 (43:28):
To you, can I go first?
Speaker 4 (43:29):
Absolutely?
Speaker 5 (43:30):
Yeah, because I just did this on a podcast. Is
when you're on an elevator, say hi to someone, when
you're in the grocery store, just say hi to someone.
You just never know what they're going to say. They
could be in the same position when they're looking for someone,
and the high is not you're not being aggressive or
anything else. But then there's a lot of guys on
the show that have met people the ladies have DM
(43:51):
them and they've reached out to me. I think it's
a compliment for a guy to get somebody that a
lady reaches out and don't be shy and live your life.
But there's just people. My grandmother after my granddad, she
never dated anyone, So to each their own. But if
you want to date someone, you've got to open up
and you have to be ready. That's the other thing is,
don't waste their time if you're not ready.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
It also doesn't drop out of the sky like you
have to put effort into meeting somebody.
Speaker 5 (44:16):
Well, and if you want somebody in shape, go to
the gym. You want religion, you can go to church.
A lot of churches have a single deals you know
what's important to you, or do a little bit of
all of it. You never know. But I think the
best thing is to go to your friends and go, hey,
I'm ready to date. If you know anybody your friends.
That referral system is incredible.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Well, you have to tell you what we're doing just quickly.
Speaker 4 (44:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
So I really wanted her to start dating again, and
I said it's time to go on an app and
she was just like, I'm not feeling it. So I said, fine,
So I am her Sereno de Bergerac. I am doing
all of her online dating.
Speaker 7 (44:48):
It is my picture, it is my picture.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
I wrote everything. I'm doing all of it. And then
I call her be like, just gave somebody your number.
But the problem is is sometimes I answer questions like
as if it's so then she hates coffee. I love coffee,
and you know, I'll say like.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
Oh so they invite me to coffee.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
Coffee, but it's been really fun or instead, But it's
been fun.
Speaker 7 (45:10):
And the nice thing is it's actually been kind of
freeing because you're not attached to the result.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
I'm not at touched.
Speaker 7 (45:15):
It's it's nice because I'm not going to call. You're
not going to call because I haven't even engaged.
Speaker 5 (45:20):
Well, let's be semi intellectually interesting.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
What do you want?
Speaker 3 (45:24):
Way to turn it back on us talk.
Speaker 7 (45:26):
I want something a little unconventional, but in terms of
personality and person I want somebody that I admire and
look up to and makes me a better person and
challenges me to get outside of my comfort zone and
become just a more evolved, interesting and smart person. But
I want somebody that's funny, intelligent, confident, and also has
(45:51):
their own life and interests. Not that I I mean,
not that I want I want to do things together,
but I am somewhat independent and I have a full life.
And that's not to say that I don't want to
integrate lives with somebody. But I really have a family
that I'm close to, an extended family and friends, and
I would love to integrate that with somebody. But I'm
(46:14):
okay if somebody has a lot of their own history
as well, and Sarah like holidays are important to them,
and it's really important that they are in Massachusetts, do
you know.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
What I mean? With their extended family or their grandkids
or whatever. They have a widow. You know, they're widowers
and they need to be somewhere.
Speaker 7 (46:32):
I'm okay if we don't do everything all the time
together and we have certain traditions that we maintain separately.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
She been divorced for a while oh what.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
Is that she's used to being on her own?
Speaker 4 (46:45):
Absolutely, yeah, that you're okay with it?
Speaker 3 (46:47):
Yeah, I am. And I think that I have to
work on maybe being a little more needy. Truly I do.
Speaker 4 (46:54):
I don't.
Speaker 7 (46:54):
I mean, needy is an unattractive word, but I think
that I give off the air that I don't. I
think that that might be off putting. And it's like,
I say, I want to date, but if I'm not
making somebody feel like.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
They're adding value, I think. I guess men, I think
we we want to be how do I say this, Well,
just say it. I think we want to feel like
we are still the man. We want to still feel
like we're adding value in that way. And it's kind
of tricky because times have changed such that there is
(47:33):
such independence and women who have such great success, and
incorporating the two together is very very important. You're still
able to do that, They're still able to do what
they want to do and go and grow, and so
it's it's a melting pot, right, It's a combination of
the two and making that work and having respect for
(47:55):
what you do and loving you for what you do
and get behind you, giving you the space and giving
a space to still do that, but still feeling like
but she still wants to be with me, she still
needs some of the things that I.
Speaker 3 (48:10):
And I'm additive to her life wouldn't feel.
Speaker 4 (48:13):
Yeah, and that and that's I would. I would say
that you you want somebody who enhances your life and
you enhance their life.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
Yeah, there's a piece that's important for me which I
didn't have in my marriage, which is I need the
person to be like my park bench, the person who
I can sit next to just look at the birds,
either laughing hysterically or totally comfortable in silence. Somebody who's
really my best friend. And if it's not one hundred
(48:40):
percent additive, like she was saying, I don't need to
be with somebody. I want to be with the right
person because I'm okay on my own right and so
I'm really looking my kind of catchphrase is my park bench.
Speaker 4 (48:53):
Yeah, well said it's good.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
And we are strong.
Speaker 7 (48:57):
So I think I want somebody who is strong in
their own ways that I can maybe not come across
so strong.
Speaker 4 (49:06):
So why I like strong?
Speaker 1 (49:08):
I like strong women across very strong to you.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
No, not strong in the in the sense.
Speaker 5 (49:14):
Of overpowering, not overly.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
No, I think this is a wonderful thing. It's very
attractive to me to find someone with that kind of
drive because.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
I feel like.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
Three times a charm and we're going to keep it going.
But I think it's attractive to have.
Speaker 4 (49:35):
A strong woman. But right, I mean, I don't want.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Somebody who's just this little doormat doormat and following me
every It's like, where's your life?
Speaker 5 (49:44):
The military does this. They do a summary after every mission.
What went right? What went wrong? Have you done that?
Speaker 3 (49:52):
Chuck? I feel like we need to have a therapy
session after this. I really do.
Speaker 7 (49:55):
Like we're here all weekend. I might have an hour session,
give metactifully, you have to.
Speaker 5 (50:01):
Look at it and go if I do want someone,
but it's it's luck and it's time, and it's just
but you know what, why hasn't it worked? And I
just got lucky because you could say the same thing
to me and I go, I couldn't put this thing
together if I had to. My daughter signed me up
for the show.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
She was luck. She did.
Speaker 5 (50:19):
My daughter did the application. You asked this question earlier
as if she were me, and what I do?
Speaker 1 (50:24):
I'm doing her online dating and I think nothing is random.
I think people come into our life, whether it's a
lesson or a blessing, something to learn. Right, So, in
terms of taking stock of each relationship and what you
learn and what you're going to take with you, what
was the good, what was the bad, It all kind
of builds up to hopefully what becomes your final destination.
Speaker 5 (50:44):
And you learn then you learn the non negotiables, Oh
for sure on that, which.
Speaker 4 (50:49):
Are That's a whole nother thing.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
That's a podcast number two.
Speaker 5 (50:53):
Yeah, that's a whole another potlem we all have, Yeah,
as we should.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
So we we kind of for the last few minutes,
we came up with this idea of doing well. Actually
Andy Cohen did a Bravo, but we want to do
our own game of rapid fire, which is like basically
this or that, and we're going to just each of you,
you know, kind of throw out a scenario and you know,
you just respond with what the answer is?
Speaker 9 (51:16):
Okay, okay, you want me to start yep, street smart
or book smart smart, night out on the town or
quiet night in, Quiet night in, if a woman drinks
a bit too much on a first date, endearing or
a turnoff run turn off, implants are oh natural, Oh.
Speaker 4 (51:38):
I like them, big Gary.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
Both anything.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
Both phone call or FaceTime.
Speaker 4 (51:53):
FaceTime.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
I don't do face phone call.
Speaker 4 (51:57):
Phone call.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
You're young and heart the phone call.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
You know, a phone call to begin with, but you
need to move to a face at least. I've just
learned this. You know, I need to have like I
actually have FaceTime dates. I'll say, let's just, you know,
get a.
Speaker 5 (52:10):
Across from the guy could wake up after ten sleeping.
He's gonna look pretty. That's what he needs, you know,
It's just that's how he is.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
And I think you really quick. The FaceTime thing really
takes away from the touching, the feeling, that very intimate
moment you need to have with someone. It just ruins
that just being able to reach out and and see
your expressions in person.
Speaker 3 (52:35):
No, don't get okay, this was a rapid fire people.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Does it matter if a person cooks or doesn't cook.
Speaker 4 (52:43):
I like some of the cooks. I like cooking.
Speaker 3 (52:45):
Okay, final one sending a nude or sending a funny meme.
Speaker 4 (52:50):
Funny meme, no nudes.
Speaker 3 (52:55):
Okay, guys, you have been amazing.
Speaker 1 (52:57):
Wait do you have a rapid fire one for each
of us?
Speaker 3 (53:00):
I don't want to.
Speaker 4 (53:02):
He doesn't want to do asked for shoulders, shoulders, shoulders, Blonder, Brunette, Bnette, Brunette, Barnette,
no comment.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Parties, so much fun. Thank you for doing this with us.
Speaker 4 (53:26):
You're very welcome. I can't just say one thing, just
you know, with these guys, and we had this connection
with all all the guys on the show, but I
do have to say that, you know, we three were
roommates along with two other guys, Charles and Michael. I
have to compliment Chalk because he he's been so gracious
(53:49):
to everybody. He is, He's very articulated, he speaks really well.
He is a good therapist, and I was on the
receiving end of some of those therapy sessions and hopefully
vice versa. So I want to thank you for the
experienced Chockets. It was absolutely tremendous and Gary knows how
I feel about it. We met the very first night
before we went out, and we've been brothers from another
(54:11):
mother since ever since. I love it absolutely so.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
In conclusion, hopefully we gave our listeners a real kind
of bird's eye view into the minds of these amazing
men Golden Bachelors for all things dating in our age
as we all look for our chapter two. Thank you
so much, guys.
Speaker 7 (54:32):
Thanks for having us, Thank you, thank you so If
you're having a hard time getting back into the dating
scene or ready to get back out there but don't
know where to start, definitely reach out to us. You
can call, you can email, follow us on socials. All
the information will be in the show notes, and make
sure to rate and review this podcast. I Do Part
two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the
main objective. Watching
Welcome to I Do Part two, the podcast that's all
about finding love the second time around. Here we are
Thelma and Louise, still single, still trying to do our best,
and we are luckily in Pebble Beach at the pro
am with three amazingly hot, age appropriate guys also from
The Bachelor. So welcome. We have Chalk, Gary and Guy,
(00:36):
and it's Thelma and Louise. And as much as we
would love to grill you all day long about The Bachelor,
we are actually here to talk to the three of
you about Chapter two, dating post the TV show, what
it was like pre and just kind of get into
the minds of you three amazing.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I'm going to make a slight correction, not the Bachelor,
the Golden.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Oh oh sorry, you just look so young.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
We are. We are the Golden Bachelor's Golden Bachelors.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
From the Golden Batte.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
But because we're also in your age range, we just
look at you.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
I'll take that. I think.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Dating, Yeah, let me slide closer to the guy over here.
Speaker 5 (01:16):
My dating life's been great after the show, different days,
I met all kinds of women, a lot of trouble.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
But how your dating life change post the show? Like,
what was that. I'd love to know the dating kind
of pre the show.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Pre the show, you know, I I dated differently. I
dated locally in the Reno area. But then I decided to,
like a lot of us at this age, I delved
into the dating apps.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Oh so fun.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
It's crazy to tell them our dating app situation.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Interestingly enough, I would actually say, you know, I met
a lot of very very nice, fun, intelligent, you know
women on the dating apps, oftentimes from me, though they
were you know, yeah, I had travel, you know, to
to be able to actually see them in person because
they don't don't necessarily live in the Reno Tahoe area.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Can I ask a question real quick though, percentage wise?
How many of their pictures look like them?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
That's my question, and then we'll give you.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I also want to know your age range too, because
that's the whole thing we experience in la Is. Guys
want to date.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
Way younger or they put you know, their age, They
put their ages sixty and then in their comments they
say my age is actually seventy two, and I'm like,
that didn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
There's a lot of attack.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Let's jump to this because I told you I'll ask anything. Okay,
So women do that all the time and they go, well,
guys want younger women. So we'll start with you. Is
it Thelma or Luise?
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Theoma?
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Louise, I'm Thema. What's catuemb the youngest guy?
Speaker 7 (02:52):
Well, I'm not gonna lie post divorce and my divorce
was a bit unique. My recipe for kind of moving
on was a little different.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
And so I got divorced. At how old was I?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
It was twenty fourteen for both of us, and we're
so you were forty one forty.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
One, so I probably like, I mean twenty five, but
like I telling you, it was, it was. It was one.
It was it was literally like two.
Speaker 7 (03:25):
Or three for six months, and then it was like, okay,
many we have nothing in common.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
They'd just gotten their first credit.
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Card and like we get n I do think part
of the journey in life too, is you need to
do that to see if that's what you want.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Oh I didn't want it.
Speaker 7 (03:37):
I just needed to like heal and that was like
my process and then and then I was like I'm
ready for people that I can actually relate to.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Yeah, and you.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
So when I first got divorced, I was on a
girl's trip to New York, and my friends were like,
we're going to do something different for you, and so
there poured me out there and they found some young,
hot guy and you basically sent him home with I
don't even know if there was uber than ten years
about ten years ago and it was literally one and done,
and I was like, this is just not my jam,
Like I prefer age appropriate. Definitely, a lot of my
(04:08):
friends in LA date younger guys and they have to
pay for them, and it's all I don't even know.
Speaker 7 (04:14):
Also, this could be a misconception, but I feel like,
as a woman, I don't want to date somebody too
young because I don't want to feel old. And I
think a misconception that I have is do men want
to date younger women because then it makes them feel
kind of either young or it's a trophy.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
And yeah, and so for me dating someone younger, I
would not go below ten years below my age. I
want someone that's refreshing.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
In Los Angeles, ye age appropriate for.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Me because coming up through the ranks like we do,
we look they are still finding their way and I'm
at a point in my life now where I don't
want to help you find in your way. I don't
have time because it's just not worth it and it's
very expensive. As you can imagine dating someone younger who's
(05:10):
expecting an older guy to step in and be like
this totally. So it's ten years for me, I will
go fifty.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Five, but not below that.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
He's sixty five, doesn't he look good for me? Amazing?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Golden, amazing? Okay? Yeah, you what about you guy? What
what's your age?
Speaker 7 (05:28):
Like?
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Yeah, let's take kind of too criteria with that, and
I would, you know, be in the same lines as
Gary here somewhere around ten years. But you know, I
don't put in an absolute age because I mean if they
were fifty three and you know there was a connection, yea,
I would go down. In other words, no, no, you know, no,
(05:50):
you know, you know it would be flattering. But the
reality is that you alluded to you just don't have
many things in common. I always like to say that
if I have to explain to him who led Zeppelins,
we got a problem.
Speaker 7 (06:02):
Well. And also, I mean it's not pretty to talk about,
but what about the health.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
I mean, let's be honest.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Well, and that's the other is that, you know, especially
if somebody is younger and they actually would be interested
in going out with you to say, you know, I'm
sixty six, you know, and let's say you're forty six. Well,
when you're my age, I'm going to be eighty six
years old. Do you really want that?
Speaker 5 (06:22):
Women?
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Women a much better than than men do.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
So you three of aged really well.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
I do have a story for you. That's that's a
that's comforting.
Speaker 5 (06:31):
You know the date that Joan and I had at Disneyland,
the first one on one date. The execs give you
a whole and I came back and I said, guys,
I'm going to start.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Giving this story. No, we saw it on the show,
but what.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
You didn't see here is I said, Okay, I'm going
to give this prize to which one of you bachelor
guys bachelorette guys has been with the youngest woman. And
I will not tell you because it's guycode, but it
would absolutely surprise the fans who'd been with the youngest woman.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Oh you have you have to say, gee, I love guy.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Not this guy.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
So you're the guy, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Because you said guy and I'm thinking it was not guys.
Brother of advanced.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
They could sit there and think about that, but it
was somebody you would least expect.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I love guy.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Remember who it was?
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, By the way, the whole frat aspect. Can you
imagine going back in time after like living the lives
you live and then literally going back into a frat
house mentality? How much fun to do that for another
kind of sliver?
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Well, ironically we were roommates.
Speaker 7 (07:27):
No, my gosh, no one of you guys are sitting
so cozily on that couch together.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
If it were any of us, we'd be the same
way for the for the whole crew.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
We had a lot of late conversation. Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Did you two do apps? Also?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
No, I did an app like twenty thirty years ago,
not thirty.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Oh my god, I'm really sure my age.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Uh, it was like around the early two thousands, and
I had some pretty good luck with that because it
was like the third time in that was someone that
I ended up being with for like eight.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
To ten years. Wow, So it.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Worked out in my favor. But now I don't that's
that's not my choice of.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
So do you find it easy to meet women in
kind of real life? I mean, I assume after the
show it's probably also easier.
Speaker 7 (08:19):
Well, I mean, has your approached I guess you had
your kind of pre the show and then post show.
Do you feel like your approach to dating is different
as a result of the show and kind of what
is that now?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
These guys are getting a lot of action.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
I mean, the women are coming out of it's as guys.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
It's very flattering, it's very flattering. But I've become more selective.
I become more confident in my own skin, saying I
don't want, I don't need, I'm not looking, and so
you know these's that's just not.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Going to work.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
So you're discerning, Yeah, very much.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
So very much.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
So how about you guys regarding you know what?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
I yeah, you know, it has been interesting phenomenon since,
you know, after the show, because you know, I didn't
realize it would I would be recognized as much as
I am, even you know, if you go to Vegas.
I'm just was kind of just blown away, like how
many people stop me. Didn't realize how popular the show
was and how many people really tune in. And they
(09:25):
they really you know, different different guys. They resonated with
their character, not the characters, but their personality.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But that is such a universal theme, right, so it
just appeals to so many everybody.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Basically it is. And so yeah, I mean, you know people,
you know, I have been approached you know, more than once,
less than a thousand times. I don't know, somewhere around there.
But it's you know a lot of times. You know,
you have to be very careful, especially if they slide
into your DM because everybody, yeah, they maybe they want
(09:59):
you know, just there five minutes of fame or whatever.
It is like that.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Okay, So what's the best story you've had thus far?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
He does have a good one.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
He's got at least one good Come.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
On, you've been on national television.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
You got to tell us, yes, yeah, yes I did.
I did meet somebody who you know, just kind of
reached out. And oftentimes you get these messages and it's
almost like fan mail. They just are there and they're
so supportive. I've not received one negative message from anyone.
It's it's it's overwhelming. Actually, the number of very positive comments.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Are they writing from prison?
Speaker 7 (10:40):
You know?
Speaker 4 (10:40):
I don't know that. Yeah, oh my god, but I
can tell you I'll finish going going back. You know, Yes,
I have been catfished.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Have you several times interesting. So have you guys dated
kind of anyone specific since the show? Like, have you
formed a connection with anybody?
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Can I go back?
Speaker 5 (11:03):
One thing I do want to say about dating younger.
I have a twenty five year old daughter and she
and I are very close, and she goes, Dad, if
you ever date anyone close to my age, I'm bringing
a sixty five year old man home.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
So it's my kids have a strong opinion too, they
said to me. They came on from college and they said, Mom,
we're getting very concerned about your options. I was like,
what do you mean. They go, it just seems like
it's like the twenty five year old or you know,
the eighty year old, and I was like, wow, that
sounds pretty grim. Do you have a preference, they said
the older guy. I said, okay, good to know that's awesome.
Speaker 7 (11:38):
But I think ten years is good. I like your
ten years, so that's kind of mine as well. I
think ten years because ten years can be physical, but
it also like people can be really an old or
a young But I think using ten years is kind
of the rain good benchmin.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
I just think if you're in love, let it have Oh,
says the guy I worked out for Jones nine muths
older than I am.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
I mean, do you believe an instant connection or do
you guys believe more in a slow burn in terms
of the longevity or the health of a relationship.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Personally speaking, my relationships, the serious ones had been really
first impression really where you just go like butterfly. But
there's been a lot that, you know, you go hey,
I kind of like them when it fizzled out. But
with Joan, I can't speak for her that it was
pretty much instant.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
And what about the concept of like when you feel
a spark, it's almost like a warning signal or like
a mirror of your childhood one.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
That's you, that's I don't feel that way really yeah, Or.
Speaker 5 (12:35):
You just have bad decisions. I mean, you know you
like a bad type of person. And I shouldn't say bad,
but I've said this on other podcasts. My mother had
this big thing going. If that significant other than your
person in your life doesn't make your life better, it's
the wrong person. And it's pretty simple. They need to
make your life better. Not that they're all about you,
but your life is better because they're in your life.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
They also need to elevate you, Like we're really big
on people.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
That fell instant connection thing is is really important because
I think that there is an attraction that you have
to have for them physically and you're feeling something emotionally
and the adrenaline that comes from that you say, this
is someone I want to spend some time with so
ultimately yeah, and get to know. So from that perspective,
(13:22):
I think it is important to have that initial attraction
of Wow, this I'm feeling something right now. It's like
an energy yes, totally, totally.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Yeah, you know for me it's it's I would say
that immediate. I would say that when I've had, you know,
the really intense relationships, I know, within days.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Okay, so how do you follow up?
Speaker 7 (13:55):
So you have you meet somebody you have this instant
connection and chemistry, and I guess it's kind of interesting
talking to you right now because you guys are both
being sought after by many, right, so it might not
be we haven't based i mean leveled out right, Not
that you're ever going to level out.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I'm sure it's just going to have the pick of
the litter rocket. You have the pick of the letter
right now. But at your age and our age.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
When you meet somebody and you like them right away,
like do you come on strong?
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Do you play games? Do you you know what I mean?
Speaker 7 (14:21):
Way to customary three days before texting them, Like what's
your approach?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I think it's more natural where if I'm feeling the
need to text or call and vice versas, so it's
a two way street. And if I'm getting the age, yeah, yeah,
the games as I mean, you're done.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Nobody likes somebody who smiles you. I mean, let's just
be honest.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
To right totally.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
Yeah, some people do and they want somebody. I know.
I've got people in my life that they're my mother
or husband. They took a trip for eighteen months. They
were together every day.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Oh my gosh, it's amazing.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
And their lives were just built around each other. But
I think that's the exception or other people like Jonah
and I we kind of like those three or four
days where were we have a do our laundry. To
not have that pressure when you get older, it's just
I can do the things I need to.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And we talk about that a lot, like not needing
the twenty four to seven yeah, kind of day to day.
Speaker 7 (15:09):
But I think It's also different because if you have
been single for a while or divorced or you know,
on your own, you get used to your autonomy and
your independence and then you want somebody. But it's like,
how do you incorporate a significant other into your life?
And I always have the question for people, like do
you see it as a traditional relationship there? You want
(15:30):
to be with somebody you know, live under the same roof,
be with each other all the time, versus distance, versus
a companion that you you know, kind of have your
cake and eat it too. And I don't mean that
in any salacious way. I just mean, like, what do
you think on that?
Speaker 5 (15:44):
I think that's why you date. You spend time with people. Yeah,
you know, it comes back to the smother and some
people want contact all the time. Other people don't, and
you spend that time with them. You go, this is
what I'm comfortable, this is what I like in my life.
And you could love somebody, but it's just the little
things could push you apart.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Yeah, totally, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
As and as Chuck mentioned earlier about his mom and
her husband at eighteen monthly, I think it's generationally that
age group was more connected. Our age group is more
I need a couple days every so often too recalibrate.
Speaker 7 (16:15):
To recalibrate, the younger group is like, we're going to
text from a different building.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
I'm learning the game, so I'm going to play the game.
I'm not going to reach out for three days. I'm
not I can't call them within a certain period of time.
So I think generationally it makes a difference at our age, right,
that's a good point totally.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I just think also at our age, like in terms
of the spirit of no games, like what happens when
you go out with somebody or on a date and
you just to your point, you don't feel it right away?
How do you kind of directly say, like I didn't
feel a love connection or I mean, you're not gonna
we're not going to got somebody at our age right
direct please.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I'll the last. I'll the last. You know, if I
meet somebody and I'm not, you know, feeling the connection
right away, I don't prolong it at all. I think
it's a disservice to the other person too, you know,
if they're developing emotional attachment to you and you're not
to them. So I usually just say, you know, gosh.
(17:21):
And most time they're really nice, you know, wonderful people,
but you're just not feeling it. So I just you know,
politely say, you know, I'm just exactly that you.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Do it face to face.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
At this point.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Not after one or two dates though, No, But I mean, oh,
I'm saying one or two dates and to their.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
Face, I well, at least still on a telephone conversation,
if not in their face.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
No, I'm not like, is it at the restaurant where
you're like, you.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Know, oh no, no, no, no, because you want to like,
you know, kind of everything you know, think about. It's
just but oftentimes I know, within.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Fifteen minutes and you can kind of read the root.
I mean think I've been on dates where I can
tell maybe they're not into me or I'm not in
I mean, we all can kind of pick up on
the cues now, right, Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
So I think it's it's a lot of respect for
the other person too, though, because I don't think you
have a right to sit there and go I don't
like you because of.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
This, right.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
Oh, And it's you know, sometimes you can ghost them sometimes,
you know, and if you get ghosted, there's no interest.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
But I think treat people you want to treat it.
I mean, I know it's a simple role.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
But then I think it comes back to what obligation
do you have you go out with somebody for a
date or two? Are you obligated to say I don't.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Really like you? Okay?
Speaker 3 (18:29):
But see here's my problem. We kind of differ on this.
Speaker 7 (18:33):
I we both believe the chivalry is not dead, so
we love like a true gentleman open your door.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I mean, that's a garage.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
We really like that.
Speaker 7 (18:44):
But I feel a little uncomfortable because of course I'm
flattered and appreciate when people buy me dinner, but then
I kind of feel this obligation sometimes where I'm like, oh,
like I can't leave the table.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Even if I'm not interested because he just bought me dinner.
And that's rude. And you know, I mean, I don't know,
it's just it gets complicated.
Speaker 5 (19:02):
That's just day why. I have a question for you too,
So let's go talk about paying for dinner. What are
your opinions on who should pay for dinner?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
There's some meditation here, No, there's not. I mean, look
for me, it's like I'm raising two boys, and you know,
this is something we talk about we believe in chivalry.
We're in our fifties. I like when a man, you
know in the beginning, has paid for my dinner. I'm
happy to treat and do things and do special things,
but I don't.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I don't know. I believe in chivalry still.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
Yeah, I'm with you one hundred percent, and I'm raising.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
My boys and I'm raising my boys that way.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Agree more. Yeah, totally, I would not. There's no way
I would. For the first day, I would not pay
for it.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Well, I also think.
Speaker 7 (19:48):
If you so he's saying, if somebody asks me, if
a man asks me out to dinner, you have invited
me to dinner.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
So I would expect you to pay. But I will
tell you I wouldn't expect.
Speaker 7 (19:57):
I would be appreciative if you paid, and I would
always when the check came for me first dinner, would
always say, oh, that's so nice.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Are you sure? And I definitely like I would so
that it's not a conclusion.
Speaker 7 (20:12):
And I mean, but I will tell you if you
did take it and split it, it would just be
a note to me like okay. Again, if we dated
subsequent times, or if I said, hey, I'd like to
take you, you know what I mean, for a hike
and lunch or whatever. I feel like I invited him
and I would pay. So it's but at the beginning, especially,
I like when somebody.
Speaker 5 (20:31):
Kind of I want to speak for these three guys.
Even if you offered to pay, we're going to pay.
But after a number of days, it's kind of nice
when I'll pick up one, right, I'll get.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
The valet or show up with like a candle or
something like that. Like I went away. I was dating
somebody and we went away for the weekend and I
showed up with like, I don't know, like a cute
viewery hoodie, and he was like so knocked out by it.
He's like wow, And I was like, you're so generous
with me. So there's different ways to show appreciation, but
that thank you, because PEO will not say thank you.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
When they don't thank you, I remember that and then
you go back to it they raise that way, or
they just don't like you, or but you know, you
psycho analyze everything on that.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
You guys, You like, what's a good day, what are
we doing?
Speaker 3 (21:17):
What do you women?
Speaker 5 (21:18):
I'm on a roll here, but I got to ask
a question back to Bezos fiance's dress at the inauguration.
I want a woman to look good, joke always looks.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Good, sophisticated, amazing, and I.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
Don't want to say Lauren Sanchez. But to me, that
was inappropriate first day. If somebody dresses a little inappropriate,
I'm out.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Okay, so you're more sophisticated, not sexy.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Class I don't mean classic, understated.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Classic, classic, classy.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
You're not allowed to use the word classy.
Speaker 7 (21:50):
My mom said, if you you have to say a
class act.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
You're not allowed you classy.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Okay, class class and reason. Let these guys on.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
I was trained that a first date, a first interview,
you're probably going to get the best out of the person,
and if they're looking trappy or something like that, it's
probably going to go downhill. We can argue that, but
that's because when you have a date with a guy,
if you have interest, you're putting your a game on.
Speaker 7 (22:16):
Okay, okay, we talk about outfits, So what I hear
what you're saying, But outfits like do you like do
you like.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Do you like women to show up a little more
dressy casual? Like what like?
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Well, we have ray vision, you don't have to put
it out there. We can tell what you look like naked.
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Do you know that. I had a guy show up
and I said, how do you decide between lunch and dinner?
And he says, if I'm a little unsure about the pictures,
I like lunch because it's during the day so I
can really see her body when she's walking towards the tablets.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I like, you know, I like the words you use
class act. It depends where we're going, and we're going
to go to the beach, to a restaurant, or if
we're going to go in town, depending on the setting,
which makes a big difference. Read them, but read the room,
know the lay of the land, and just be class
(23:16):
act about how you're representing yourself. Because it's saying something
about you as a person. I'm already casting judgment and passing.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
You know.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
My opinions internally, like is this gonna work?
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Is this someone that.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
I could take to Yes, it's someone I can take
to the baseball game. Is this someone I can bring
home to the kids, or if there's a family event
or if we're going to a picnic. How is is
this person going to be in a in a mini
skirt with you know, with with bo. Yeah, so yeah,
it's it just depends. It just depends.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Thoughts same and yeah, I'd like them to dresh appropriately
for the occasion, and I'd like them to look very stylish.
I want them to look attractive, you know, I want
I don't have any trouble if you know, you know
they turn people's heads when they want absolutely not because
(24:10):
of something over.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
The you don't want to walk flower absolutely.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
Something to sometimes you know, like I have a date
recently and I had a woman cup up and said,
you are the luckiest guy in this in this restaurant
right now because of the person I was with, and
it's you know, I mean made me feel really really good,
like I am lucky.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Do you like one woman approach you?
Speaker 7 (24:32):
I mean, do you like women that are more shy
and reserved and you make the first move or how
do you feel when that's an interesting.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Point you make because these days and at this time,
it's a lot different when you yes, it's amazing. Well,
one thing I was going to say that I'm going
to piggyback on what guys said, is I love a
woman who walks in the room and the furniture leads
her way or the heads turned, everyone is like, and
(25:03):
I get to sit there and say, she's with me.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
We really did get along.
Speaker 5 (25:21):
There was just different personality, different issues, but no fact,
no fights, no cat fight or anything like that, and
it was really great. We called it free group therapy
just because you know, we've all had some happened in
our lives and we sit down just as guys go, man,
this happened to me and another guy. It wouldn't want
up in you. It was just I've been through this.
It was fantastic and with all.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Due respect, we gave each guy the opportunity to finish
their story because it was for me it was more
of a spiritual journey and being comfortable in my own skin.
But allowing these guys to get out their stories that
we don't usually or often get to, who talk about
what we have buried to allowed us to be the
(26:04):
men that we are today.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
So it was really twofold. Like a lot of the
show was the actual living in the house and creating
these relationships and doing that, and then the other part
of it was dating Joan finding love and doing that
part as well. Absolutely really important.
Speaker 7 (26:17):
And that's interesting because I watched the show first, I said,
as great as your love story was, and it was
amazing and still is.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
I The takeaway for me was watching the camaraderie between
all of you. It was touching.
Speaker 7 (26:32):
And to watch guys really let down their barriers and
share things and their insecurities and their again their emotional
baggage or you know, talking about families and everything. It
was I mean, I'm getting chills as I say it.
But I said to Nika, I said, that was the
takeaway for me. And when people were crying when they
were leaving the show, it wasn't. I mean, they loved
(26:54):
Joan and it connected with Joan, but they were equally
as sad to leave each other.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I mean, you as we're sad that thing came to
an end.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
Yeah. I referred to it as a retreat for sexagenarian man,
and you know, it was very interesting and sure these
guys will you know, attest to this is that you think,
you know, you're sitting around the pool or you know,
around the mansion that we would be talking about you know, football, baseball,
(27:22):
those kind of things. We talked about our lives, we
talked about our past history, we talked about things we've
gone through and we've shared. We shared with that over
and over again, and it was you know, you would
do that on a one on one basis, you do
it with one on you two other people and you
just be having these incredible conversations.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Is vulnerable moments.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
Yeah, and they allowed me to, you know, and that
and I journaled the whole thing and you know, for
that whole time, and it was and then I go
back and look at that and the intense.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I felt safe telling my story. I felt safe sharing my.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
Story with these guys.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Have you any to be vulnerable friendships?
Speaker 5 (28:01):
Have kind of absolutely And guy and I talk a lot.
I said, guide code, but it's really grown up cold
code because we talked about stuff and they didn't show,
you know, some of it was picked up on the cameras,
but we talked about life change, the stuff from death
to bad marriages. We did things right, we did things wrong.
I've yet to see one guy betray the other one.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Yeah. There's a lot of men's group in LA where
we live. You know, I have a lot of friends
who do it and it's kind of like a safe
space and similar to almost what you guys experienced living.
Speaker 7 (28:35):
To the fact that you were all kind of caged
animals and had a lot of time together or do
you know, like.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Go back to casting and luck, because I do think
there was part of it going is this person sol good?
And part of it will this journey be good for
them as well? But again not one guy's betrayed another guy,
and that's phenomenal because all the producers go, you wouldn't
leave these young kids.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
They can't fight and everything.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
It's just we mature.
Speaker 7 (29:01):
I think it's just different and under like the unlike
the younger version of the show, you know, the the regular,
the twenty year old Bachelor's where it's competitive and cat
fights and this, I mean you all were rooting for
each other when you were going on the dates.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
I mean, I'd like to just slightly correct. We weren't caged.
We were together like a fraternity. So there was this
amazing journey initially of getting through the process and it
became a point of I'm going to prove that my
record is so clean that I'm able to go and
(29:37):
do this. And then there was the night, the first
night of the rose ceremony, and that was the initiation.
And once that happened, we were like a fraternity.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
Would you agree with that.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
Yes, the thing the thing that I really liked, And
there was a lot of fans going, you've got these
mature guys and you're putting them in bunk beds and
all that. It was fantastic. Yeah, and there wasn't really
one of the It was a change for one person,
but there wasn't real anybody that complained about And it
was great. I didn't say that, but I watched it.
He could, he could speak for himself. But you look
(30:11):
at the relationships. You know what night we're sitting there talking.
In the morning, you would talk. I loved actually being
in that room with the five of us.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Yes, it exists, like some of the real emotions that
come up as you're all vying for Joan, Like how
did that also kind.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Of I would say, No, there.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Was nothing so refreshing here.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
That was not Yeah, I don't know how hell it was,
you know when the women you know, kind of behind
closed doors. But we didn't really we didn't, at least
I didn't talk about Joan with other guys very much.
We we all had the per se, you know, but
we just kind of talked about the experience and they
supported each other and whatever was happening. So you know,
(30:55):
Toxic on On is one on one that Disneyland. Everybody
was like so happy.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
For right and when he got back, how'd he go?
When you want to talk about it? I, oh my god.
And then so it's like that had.
Speaker 5 (31:06):
Two moments of jealousy and I think I should I
was the final guy. So the big the reward one
on one date was the helicopter ride. Yes, and we
all knew it was going to happen, we just didn't
know who. And so the guys and it was it
was Keith on this and so they the producers go,
you guys, go get out in the pool. We knew
something was up. Then we're at there about fifteen minutes
(31:27):
and they go, what is that up in the air,
And the helicopter buzzed this twice and we're sitting there
doing I wanted that guy because we knew it was
so cool.
Speaker 4 (31:34):
I remember, and then I needed to be up there.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
And then Mark when he got the date with Joan
uh because last year they took a helicopter to this
big yacht and landed on it and so it said
like bring your fishing pool or something, so we knew
it was off shore and Bart comes.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
Back to the date.
Speaker 5 (31:50):
He is just gleating. I mean he is, and I
go brother, camera goes, well, tell me about the boat.
He goes, I w wasn't on a boat. We're all
like this, he goes, I was on a yacht. So yeah,
it's not like, you know, he got a one up.
It's like, man, that would have been fun. But you know,
(32:12):
Disneyland worked out real well for Jona and I. It
gave us a lot of time together.
Speaker 7 (32:26):
Did you learn any dating tips from the show, like
from each other as you watched guys approach And.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
For me it wasn't. It wasn't like that. It was
just be you.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
I can benefit.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
From what you did or what you said or something
like that. But it was more of just enjoy this
moment that I have. Not necessarily I'm going to copy
and do what the guy did.
Speaker 5 (32:57):
If there's not a woman that hadn't fallen in love
with this guy because his I say soulfulness, but you're carried.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
He was.
Speaker 5 (33:05):
I'll tell you, he was the most carrying guy on
the show. Absolutely when somebody was was asked to leave
something like this, the consoling uh he was helped me
in a situation that I had. This was the best
guy on the show.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
You that off of you.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
And he's the best dress you've ever seen. I mean,
but you.
Speaker 5 (33:26):
Said that guy was such a good friend, and Kim Cutson,
you know, for his personality, caught a little bit of heat.
The guy was there friending Kim and he was the
one that stood up and sang the song. Yes, Yes,
I give him kudos. And then when you talk to
Charles l about his wife that I don't think you'd
(33:48):
see that, and it was heartfelt.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
You saw the change in Charles like he needed to
hear that.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
Yeah, I will say that. You know, when I was
having the conversation with him, I didn't realize the impact
I was having at the time because I've had that
conversation with patients for a thousand times, right as working
thirty five years in the er. When I watched it
after on the show, I was going, Okay, no matter
what happens the rest of the show, whether I get
(34:19):
another rose or anything.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
You made an impact.
Speaker 4 (34:24):
I mean, the opportunity to be able to impact somebody's
life like that.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
So sweet is you have a great bedside manner. I
bet you are a very you know the way you
dealt with patients, I'm sure was really special.
Speaker 4 (34:35):
You know. One of the things I will say is that,
you know, because you're talking about like other people's playbook,
the way I looked at and I think everybody else was,
you know, probably at the same time. And I didn't
think of it as being a competition when I was there.
What I was trying to find out was was Joan
my person and the my Jones person and could we
(34:56):
see having, you know, an extended relationship. That's what the
I was like, Man, I need to be X, Y
and Z, because it wasn't the competition. It was like,
can we develop this connection?
Speaker 1 (35:06):
I think that's so important with dating now is I
think you know, I used to spend a lot of
time I don't want to say, like trying to sign
the guide because I, you know, I just wanted to
make sure then that I had the choice. And now
I sit on a date and as much as I
I worry less if they're feeling a connection to me,
it's more about am I feeling a connection to them?
And that matters almost just as much because the rejection
(35:27):
piece was super tough for me back in the day.
What about you guys rejection.
Speaker 5 (35:32):
Can I real quick, I need to go back and
say something. I did have one other moment of envy,
and I want your whole listening audience to have this.
I came in the show and I was working out
hard and I'd lost some weight. I was in pretty
good shape, and there were some other guys that were
in good shape. But I thought I was in real
good shape till guy took a shirt off and then
I was.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Like, I.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Can't compete.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
I was just ripped.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
So I did have to say that.
Speaker 6 (36:00):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 7 (36:01):
So did you guys kind of get ready for the show,
like made sure you were bringing your best version of yourself?
Speaker 4 (36:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
But then something happened. Once you get there and they've
got all your wonderful.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Foods, do you kick the food?
Speaker 2 (36:15):
We killed their ole meals?
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Yeah? Yeah. There was there was no chef.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
And uh catering catering or well there was catering when
we had our our parties and stuff like that, but
there was no you know, it was It was really
humbling with what we had to go through, and it
made us more grounded, I think, and helped us to
realize what's really important. Here are us and not anything
(36:42):
else outside of here. And again Jackie's role was putting
together these men. That was just so amazing. And the
relationships that we now have with us for the rest
of our lives and stay in touch with each other.
You know, I can't tell you how happy him I
were over the past week.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
We kids to be able to see each other again.
So it's it's been fun. At the mansion, it was
it was family. It was like being in a family
because we had ye had some some men who were
really good at cooking. Like I don't cook.
Speaker 8 (37:21):
I know, however, however, that reminds me of story all
about but but I really couldn't do that well.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
But I knew how to wash and dry dishes and
put them away. And I said, that really was it
was you cook, I'll clean the mess up. I'm good
with that. So it was.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
And some guys enjoyed cooking, like Mark Anderson. He really
enjoyed putting together these meals without hesitation, and that was
that was great.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
I got to tell you, I was fortunate to meet
Mark Anderson. That guy, he's the guy if you had
a sister you'd want him him to date or he
was just solid, great dad. He was really solid during
the whole thing. And when Joan came and said, you're
not going to move on to the next thing, we
were saying goodbye to him and he whispers in my ear.
He goes, invite me to the wedding. Oh yeah, oh.
Speaker 7 (38:21):
And she was broken hearted to let him go, just
because she knew what a just great, solid guy he
was well and know there was a connection.
Speaker 5 (38:28):
I know better than anyone else other than Joan, just
the struggles she had letting people go and with Guy,
you know, and she told me about that. She goes,
I didn't want to take him to that next level
because you know, and I didn't even know about it
until afterwards. And she goes, well, and what the story was,
and I told Guy this the other day because we
didn't talk about this, is they kind of pit the
(38:50):
two people, the two contestants at the end against each other.
And she goes, I was not going to do that
to Guy because that already and what they do is
you profess your love, write him a love note and
all this stuff. And she goes, it just wasn't fair
to Guy.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
She was super elegant in the way she handled every situation.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
She was so there you go. She's a class act.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
She really is not class but class.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
You can't say classy. My mom says, you just can't
say classic. You just can't say classy.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
I can't say class.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
So do you know? So one of the things that
she and I do, and I wonder because I think
a bunch of you are single still so and you
all obviously keep in touch with each other. So a
lot of times when we'll go on a date and
maybe it's not a fit or vice versa, is we
will gently recycle, use, recycled.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
So we say one recycled.
Speaker 7 (39:43):
Because we did say that one woman's trash.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
It's like because trash, just what is it? Trash?
Speaker 1 (39:50):
He's not trash. It's just it didn't wasn't fit.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Yeah, good, God didn't aligne.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
So has that happened? Because you all know each other
so well, like perhaps have you gone out with woman
that perhaps wasn't for you, but you think guy would
be a great fit, and have you done that? Or
we do should So I'm actually going out. I'm actually
going out with.
Speaker 7 (40:10):
Somebody that I went out with and then she gave
to her sister and the sister didn't connect with him.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
And now I'm going out the next.
Speaker 5 (40:23):
Compliment, it's a complimentary charm.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
I mean, he's not me, He's okay, why don't you well, darling,
he's not. And so I mean, what a great.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
Wouldn't you be if you.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Were a guy and somebody said, you know, it wasn't
a fit. But I think enough of you that I
think you should go out with one of my friends.
Speaker 5 (40:45):
I have a success story in my life. I grew
up with a lady. She's a client, she's a friend
of mine. We climbed Kilimanjaro together.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
You want it.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
It's not on your bucket list.
Speaker 4 (40:55):
September, but that's where the car during the show and
that surgery, so it was off. I'm sorry, but I
have it from next year.
Speaker 5 (41:04):
So she lived in Austin and she on a dating app,
went out and met somebody and the guy goes, you know,
and you say, not for me, but he goes, I've
got a guy that you should meet. And it was
his best friend. They've been married for like twelve years.
Oh wow, And I mean, just the greatest couple.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
You never know.
Speaker 5 (41:18):
But what a compliment is going on? I do it
that time, Yeah, because we all want something different in
our lives.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
It's also that energy is there. You know, you might
be the most fabulous guy and we might sit across
the table and not feel an energy, and all of
a sudden you sit there with her and you're like,
my god, this is my person.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
Well, some people like smart people, you know, some people
like tall people, some people like a type personalities.
Speaker 4 (41:40):
You know, it's just there's it's just so different.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
And what we're looking for in our twenties is different
than our thirties, is different than our forties. Like, what
are you guys looking for now in your sixties?
Speaker 5 (41:49):
I say the sea word compatibility. You've got to be compatible.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
I hope, I hope that's the sea worder.
Speaker 4 (41:56):
Well, I've said that befotunate word. What's he going to say?
Speaker 7 (42:00):
But there's a lot of there's a lot of still.
Speaker 5 (42:04):
Sexual to say, you've got to be turned on by,
but the compatibility because you've been in a bad relationship,
you've been in a bad relationship, you have there is
almost nothing worse. There's death and all that, but being
in a bad relationship where you don't want.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
To get through. I don't feel like I've had many
bad relationships.
Speaker 4 (42:21):
Want to get divorced.
Speaker 7 (42:24):
Well that's another.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
Another podcast.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
You know, I'm going to jump off of your first
c because they had asked me early on, you know,
like whether you're looking for in a relationship, and I
actually came up with the five seas, which I expanded
to eight, and it was it was communication, it was compatibility,
it was commitment, it was caring, it was compromise. I
also throwing comedic, I love.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
I love my God.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
That's not negotiable.
Speaker 4 (42:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Yeah, and chemistry you need to nine.
Speaker 4 (42:57):
That's no. That was that was the one of that
and they never ate My brother Gary christ.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
Got it nice. It's a lot to see, really works
for a lot of important Where's it in a relationship?
Speaker 7 (43:09):
What advice can you give to women in terms of
good spots? I mean this sounds so tried after the
conversation we've had, but good spots that maybe they can
meet men or best ways to approach men or position
themselves online. And I know that's a broad question, but
just like whatever speaks.
Speaker 5 (43:28):
To you, can I go first?
Speaker 4 (43:29):
Absolutely?
Speaker 5 (43:30):
Yeah, because I just did this on a podcast. Is
when you're on an elevator, say hi to someone, when
you're in the grocery store, just say hi to someone.
You just never know what they're going to say. They
could be in the same position when they're looking for someone,
and the high is not you're not being aggressive or
anything else. But then there's a lot of guys on
the show that have met people the ladies have DM
(43:51):
them and they've reached out to me. I think it's
a compliment for a guy to get somebody that a
lady reaches out and don't be shy and live your life.
But there's just people. My grandmother after my granddad, she
never dated anyone, So to each their own. But if
you want to date someone, you've got to open up
and you have to be ready. That's the other thing is,
don't waste their time if you're not ready.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
It also doesn't drop out of the sky like you
have to put effort into meeting somebody.
Speaker 5 (44:16):
Well, and if you want somebody in shape, go to
the gym. You want religion, you can go to church.
A lot of churches have a single deals you know
what's important to you, or do a little bit of
all of it. You never know. But I think the
best thing is to go to your friends and go, hey,
I'm ready to date. If you know anybody your friends.
That referral system is incredible.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Well, you have to tell you what we're doing just quickly.
Speaker 4 (44:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
So I really wanted her to start dating again, and
I said it's time to go on an app and
she was just like, I'm not feeling it. So I said, fine,
So I am her Sereno de Bergerac. I am doing
all of her online dating.
Speaker 7 (44:48):
It is my picture, it is my picture.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
I wrote everything. I'm doing all of it. And then
I call her be like, just gave somebody your number.
But the problem is is sometimes I answer questions like
as if it's so then she hates coffee. I love coffee,
and you know, I'll say like.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
Oh so they invite me to coffee.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
Coffee, but it's been really fun or instead, But it's
been fun.
Speaker 7 (45:10):
And the nice thing is it's actually been kind of
freeing because you're not attached to the result.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
I'm not at touched.
Speaker 7 (45:15):
It's it's nice because I'm not going to call. You're
not going to call because I haven't even engaged.
Speaker 5 (45:20):
Well, let's be semi intellectually interesting.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
What do you want?
Speaker 3 (45:24):
Way to turn it back on us talk.
Speaker 7 (45:26):
I want something a little unconventional, but in terms of
personality and person I want somebody that I admire and
look up to and makes me a better person and
challenges me to get outside of my comfort zone and
become just a more evolved, interesting and smart person. But
I want somebody that's funny, intelligent, confident, and also has
(45:51):
their own life and interests. Not that I I mean,
not that I want I want to do things together,
but I am somewhat independent and I have a full life.
And that's not to say that I don't want to
integrate lives with somebody. But I really have a family
that I'm close to, an extended family and friends, and
I would love to integrate that with somebody. But I'm
(46:14):
okay if somebody has a lot of their own history
as well, and Sarah like holidays are important to them,
and it's really important that they are in Massachusetts, do
you know.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
What I mean? With their extended family or their grandkids
or whatever. They have a widow. You know, they're widowers
and they need to be somewhere.
Speaker 7 (46:32):
I'm okay if we don't do everything all the time
together and we have certain traditions that we maintain separately.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
She been divorced for a while oh what.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
Is that she's used to being on her own?
Speaker 4 (46:45):
Absolutely, yeah, that you're okay with it?
Speaker 3 (46:47):
Yeah, I am. And I think that I have to
work on maybe being a little more needy. Truly I do.
Speaker 4 (46:54):
I don't.
Speaker 7 (46:54):
I mean, needy is an unattractive word, but I think
that I give off the air that I don't. I
think that that might be off putting. And it's like,
I say, I want to date, but if I'm not
making somebody feel like.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
They're adding value, I think. I guess men, I think
we we want to be how do I say this, Well,
just say it. I think we want to feel like
we are still the man. We want to still feel
like we're adding value in that way. And it's kind
of tricky because times have changed such that there is
(47:33):
such independence and women who have such great success, and
incorporating the two together is very very important. You're still
able to do that, They're still able to do what
they want to do and go and grow, and so
it's it's a melting pot, right, It's a combination of
the two and making that work and having respect for
(47:55):
what you do and loving you for what you do
and get behind you, giving you the space and giving
a space to still do that, but still feeling like
but she still wants to be with me, she still
needs some of the things that I.
Speaker 3 (48:10):
And I'm additive to her life wouldn't feel.
Speaker 4 (48:13):
Yeah, and that and that's I would. I would say
that you you want somebody who enhances your life and
you enhance their life.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
Yeah, there's a piece that's important for me which I
didn't have in my marriage, which is I need the
person to be like my park bench, the person who
I can sit next to just look at the birds,
either laughing hysterically or totally comfortable in silence. Somebody who's
really my best friend. And if it's not one hundred
(48:40):
percent additive, like she was saying, I don't need to
be with somebody. I want to be with the right
person because I'm okay on my own right and so
I'm really looking my kind of catchphrase is my park bench.
Speaker 4 (48:53):
Yeah, well said it's good.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
And we are strong.
Speaker 7 (48:57):
So I think I want somebody who is strong in
their own ways that I can maybe not come across
so strong.
Speaker 4 (49:06):
So why I like strong?
Speaker 1 (49:08):
I like strong women across very strong to you.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
No, not strong in the in the sense.
Speaker 5 (49:14):
Of overpowering, not overly.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
No, I think this is a wonderful thing. It's very
attractive to me to find someone with that kind of
drive because.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
I feel like.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
Three times a charm and we're going to keep it going.
But I think it's attractive to have.
Speaker 4 (49:35):
A strong woman. But right, I mean, I don't want.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Somebody who's just this little doormat doormat and following me
every It's like, where's your life?
Speaker 5 (49:44):
The military does this. They do a summary after every mission.
What went right? What went wrong? Have you done that?
Speaker 3 (49:52):
Chuck? I feel like we need to have a therapy
session after this. I really do.
Speaker 7 (49:55):
Like we're here all weekend. I might have an hour session,
give metactifully, you have to.
Speaker 5 (50:01):
Look at it and go if I do want someone,
but it's it's luck and it's time, and it's just
but you know what, why hasn't it worked? And I
just got lucky because you could say the same thing
to me and I go, I couldn't put this thing
together if I had to. My daughter signed me up
for the show.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
She was luck. She did.
Speaker 5 (50:19):
My daughter did the application. You asked this question earlier
as if she were me, and what I do?
Speaker 1 (50:24):
I'm doing her online dating and I think nothing is random.
I think people come into our life, whether it's a
lesson or a blessing, something to learn. Right, So, in
terms of taking stock of each relationship and what you
learn and what you're going to take with you, what
was the good, what was the bad, It all kind
of builds up to hopefully what becomes your final destination.
Speaker 5 (50:44):
And you learn then you learn the non negotiables, Oh
for sure on that, which.
Speaker 4 (50:49):
Are That's a whole nother thing.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
That's a podcast number two.
Speaker 5 (50:53):
Yeah, that's a whole another potlem we all have, Yeah,
as we should.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
So we we kind of for the last few minutes,
we came up with this idea of doing well. Actually
Andy Cohen did a Bravo, but we want to do
our own game of rapid fire, which is like basically
this or that, and we're going to just each of you,
you know, kind of throw out a scenario and you know,
you just respond with what the answer is?
Speaker 9 (51:16):
Okay, okay, you want me to start yep, street smart
or book smart smart, night out on the town or
quiet night in, Quiet night in, if a woman drinks
a bit too much on a first date, endearing or
a turnoff run turn off, implants are oh natural, Oh.
Speaker 4 (51:38):
I like them, big Gary.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
Both anything.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
Both phone call or FaceTime.
Speaker 4 (51:53):
FaceTime.
Speaker 3 (51:54):
I don't do face phone call.
Speaker 4 (51:57):
Phone call.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
You're young and heart the phone call.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
You know, a phone call to begin with, but you
need to move to a face at least. I've just
learned this. You know, I need to have like I
actually have FaceTime dates. I'll say, let's just, you know,
get a.
Speaker 5 (52:10):
Across from the guy could wake up after ten sleeping.
He's gonna look pretty. That's what he needs, you know,
It's just that's how he is.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
And I think you really quick. The FaceTime thing really
takes away from the touching, the feeling, that very intimate
moment you need to have with someone. It just ruins
that just being able to reach out and and see
your expressions in person.
Speaker 3 (52:35):
No, don't get okay, this was a rapid fire people.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Does it matter if a person cooks or doesn't cook.
Speaker 4 (52:43):
I like some of the cooks. I like cooking.
Speaker 3 (52:45):
Okay, final one sending a nude or sending a funny meme.
Speaker 4 (52:50):
Funny meme, no nudes.
Speaker 3 (52:55):
Okay, guys, you have been amazing.
Speaker 1 (52:57):
Wait do you have a rapid fire one for each
of us?
Speaker 3 (53:00):
I don't want to.
Speaker 4 (53:02):
He doesn't want to do asked for shoulders, shoulders, shoulders, Blonder, Brunette, Bnette, Brunette, Barnette,
no comment.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Parties, so much fun. Thank you for doing this with us.
Speaker 4 (53:26):
You're very welcome. I can't just say one thing, just
you know, with these guys, and we had this connection
with all all the guys on the show, but I
do have to say that, you know, we three were
roommates along with two other guys, Charles and Michael. I
have to compliment Chalk because he he's been so gracious
(53:49):
to everybody. He is, He's very articulated, he speaks really well.
He is a good therapist, and I was on the
receiving end of some of those therapy sessions and hopefully
vice versa. So I want to thank you for the
experienced Chockets. It was absolutely tremendous and Gary knows how
I feel about it. We met the very first night
before we went out, and we've been brothers from another
(54:11):
mother since ever since. I love it absolutely so.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
In conclusion, hopefully we gave our listeners a real kind
of bird's eye view into the minds of these amazing
men Golden Bachelors for all things dating in our age
as we all look for our chapter two. Thank you
so much, guys.
Speaker 7 (54:32):
Thanks for having us, Thank you, thank you so If
you're having a hard time getting back into the dating
scene or ready to get back out there but don't
know where to start, definitely reach out to us. You
can call, you can email, follow us on socials. All
the information will be in the show notes, and make
sure to rate and review this podcast. I Do Part
two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the
main objective. Watching
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