December 12, 2024 • 36 mins
Jana is going full throttle to help Kelly find love, coaching her on how to slide into the DMs by making her send a message to an Oscar winner during the podcast!
Does he respond?
Plus, was love in the air at Jingle Ball?
Are holiday concerts the perfect place to find your I Do, Part 2?
Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I Do Part Two is a unique podcast that is
all about finding love again. Maybe you didn't get it
right the first time, or maybe you had love and
you lost it and now you are getting back out
into the dating scene. Well, I'm one of your hosts,
Jana Kramer, and today I wanted to touch base with one
of our celebrity mentors you love her on this podcast,
former Real Housewife of New York Ellie Benzimone. Kelly, Can
(00:36):
I just first just can we just talk about how
beautiful you looked at the iHeartRadio jingle Balls, jingle Balls,
jingle Bells, jingle Ball jingle Balls. I mean, you just
and it was so funny my husband when you know,
I had my husband come in and meet everyone because
(00:57):
he hasn't met that I Do Part two crew. I
was like, I feel like I've seen her. I was like,
she was probably up like on a you know, like
you probably had her on your walls or something because
she's she's she's a model, she's beauty. He's like, yeah,
she's like, she's she's a beautiful lady. I was like,
I know, she's stunning.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Thank you, that's so nice.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Oh my god, you guys, youse are the greatest couple.
You guys are so sweet and loving and just oh god,
you're just like the perfect couple.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Thank you, thank you. I mean that's very sweet to say.
I don't know if there's do you actually believe that
there's a perfect couple.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I believe. I mean you guys have that.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I mean, you guys have just like nice, really just
quality energy. It's just like, you know, he's really respectful
of you and you're really respectful of him.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
And I just think that's just like those are that's
those are like a couple.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Goals when you have like the you know i mutual admiration,
mutual respect.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
That's just I mean, thank you, and it's you know,
it's Jenny has.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
The word too perfect, is yeah, and is yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I'm just the one odd one out. Oh not at all.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
But let's let's talk about Oh oh my, says the model,
says the you know, beautiful, tall, thin model. So let's
let's take it back to Los Angeles because we let's
well we'll take it back all all the way to LA.
But also, you know, you shared some things on the
(02:21):
last podcast that we did that you know, you've been
kind of talking to two different people, so I want
to I want to touch on that, but I also
want to see you know, we had some listeners come
out and what was what what was the vibe? Like
did how did it? How did it go for for
you and and the listeners there? Was there anything that
(02:43):
you noticed or anything happened that I didn't see because
I was truth be told. I you know, I'm I'm
kind of old in the area where it's like I
always prefer to go home and be in my cozy's.
But I'm like, you know what, babe, I'm like, there's
a VI piece that we're invited to. Let's go up
there and just have some fun. And I'm so glad
(03:04):
we did because it was genuinely such a good time.
But I saw you guys over there, and you know,
I was I was rootin and I'm like, all right,
I hope, I hope it's going good. But what was
your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Well, first of all, I saw you and your cozy slippers,
so you're I did that.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I was like, that was the only way with me,
I'll make it. I'm like, if I'm going up there,
I'm changing my heels to slippers so I can still
all still rock the outfit, but like I need to
be somewhat cozy, right.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I love that you look so good, and I was
super jealous.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I was like, oh god, it's like I'm like in
these like sky I was like, literally, I think it
was like six to one on Friday night, which was
which was fun and tall and they're just you know,
the guests were just they're really they're really really nice girls,
really really nice and they've been through so much. So
when we were we were in the car, you weren't
(03:53):
in the car with us, and I sat in the
back with them and was just listening to their stories
and they were telling me their stories I mean of
just infidelity, and I mean.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I was shocked. I was really.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Shocked at to hear the stories that these guests had
gone through.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I mean I was really really shocked.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
And so that even gave me more of an impetus
to be like, let's have fun at ihear and just
you know, have so.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Much fun ging gole ball.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
You know, I always feel like I was actually talking
to my young my oldest daughter about this. I always
feel like when you're in a situation like that, it's
not always like you're looking to date someone. But it's
just nice to just genuinely be open to meeting a
lot of different people. And you know, I saw a
lot of people that I knew and I just was
(04:45):
literally walking around with them and I introduced them to
Like I literally was just smiling at people and people
were like hi and I. It was literally just introducing
them to absolutely everyone that was responding to you know,
six foot one smiling woman. It was It was really,
(05:05):
it was fun. We had a really really good time.
We had a really good time. He one one guy
was there and he was like talking to us and
he was having a great He had like serious jewelry
game on, like these massive diamonds and I was talking
about this jewey and his wife came out. She was
like what did he say. I was like, I don't know,
but that jewelry game is firing. She was really cute
and funny, and so we had a really nice time
just like chatting with them. And afterwards they were like,
(05:26):
you can't you told you were talking to the wife.
I'm like, so, I'm like, by the way, like you're
single and I'm single. You never know who people know
and they could be like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
She was really fun.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
She you know, was just talking to us and she's
you know, just having a good time, and like I
couldn't care less if she's married or not. Like I'm
not trying to go after her husband. I'm just having
meeting people and having a good time. So we had
had a lot of fun. You know, I had a
lot of fun.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Introducing them to a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
But with like what you just said, some of my
best like memories of even going out is I've met
actually girlfriends from going out and being places. And so
whether it's a love connection or you know, a man connections,
it's usually it's a people connection. You know, I met
one of my best friends in the middle seat of
a Southwest flight, you know. So it's like I think
(06:15):
it's being open to any connection when you go up.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
I mean, they got to meet Teddy, they got to
hang out, they were hanging out with me, They got
to meet a lot of people that they probably wouldn't
have met from you know, the Golden Bachelor and Bachelorette.
There were a lot of people that they got to meet.
And to your point, you know, you never know who
you're going to meet and how you're going to meet people.
(06:40):
And so I was just talking to everybody, and I
think that's really I mean, just from my own experience,
that's how you meet great people.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
It's just being out and about and.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
People just see your energy and feel your energy and
you're having a good time. They're like, oh my god,
that looks like a good crew. Let's get to know them.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
It was about the experience, and I think, like, you know,
and for me, like, okay, obviously I'm there and my
husband's on my arm, but like I got to sit
next to Ali, you know, Larder, and I was like,
that's cool. Like I've always thought she's an amazing actress.
And I took this was kind like and it took
me a second. Well, she was like it took me
(07:17):
kind of. I'm like, really weird when it comes to
like people were there receipts or whatever, and you know,
some of the interns were like do you want to
sit down? Like no, no, like you are sitting like
just because like you sit, you know what I mean. Like,
so we stood up in the back like for for
most of it, and then they got up and they're
like no, sit down. I'm like no, like seriously. But
then I'm like okay, fine, Like when you do that,
I'm like, all right, all right, fine, we'll sit now.
So when we sat down, I notice is really beautiful
(07:41):
blonde next to me, and they were they were trying
to like take a photo, and I'm like, I'll take
it for you. But when I took her phone to
like take the photo, I was like, oh, that's Ali Larder,
you know what I mean. And I'm like, like, she's
like I love her work, and well no, but and
like I'm like, I know, she has no idea who
I am. She's got to probably think that or she
probably saw that I registered it while I'm taking their photo,
(08:02):
you know what i mean, like her and her friend's photo.
So I'm like this is cool. But then I'm like
her foot her camera was kind of dirty, so I
like cleaned it, you know what I mean, and like
it sound like and then like I took, I took
a picture of them. But that to that point, it
was like it was an experience and like I didn't
know that. I was like that was cool. I got
to like have an interaction with her, and then you know,
I've got to you know, run and have you know,
(08:23):
see Teddy again and give her a hug and squeeze
her and then see you know, the the Golden Bachelorettes, Like.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
It was there just so fun there.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Yeah, they're just they're so fun, so beautiful and so
vibrant and you know, so yeah. I think it's all
about when you go into dating worlds to remember the
experience of it, because there's always going to be a
new experience one one doesn't look the same. And to
go on that. Was there anything that came up for
(08:52):
you in La? Were there any old flames that might
have texted you, Kelly, or did you have any run
ins when you were there?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
One of my clos was like, oh, let's let's get drinks.
And I'm like okay.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
And we're sitting there and he's telling me how he
owns this vineyard and I'm like that's great, you know,
I'm just listening to him. And then he was telling
me how he's, uh, he's a player.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I was like, what what guy wants? What guy just
like that?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
And I'm just like that doesn't make me. First of all,
you're my client.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Second, that doesn't make me wanting to jump up on you.
And then and then he goes, you know how.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Old was he, he said, in like sixties, mid sixties.
Then he goes to me again, that makes sense, Telly.
He's like, I really, I really don't like brunettes. But
I'm okay with you.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Oh my gosh, we are not. I'm not allowing you
to date him. I'm sorry. I'm going to pull the
mother card on this and you cannot date him. And
it's not for you who says that.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I think that you know, listen, as hard as it
is for girls, it's the same thing with guts. And
you know, we were talking, you know about like, you know,
our game, That's what we were.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Talking about together.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
And you know, some people just think that this kind
of like being aloof or saying things like I'm so great,
who are you?
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Is going to make the other person like you more?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
But does Like I can see right through that. I'm like, okay, whatever,
I'm happy to.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Like, you know, chat with you and have.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Fun and you know, have a glass of wine and
talk to you about what you're where you're you know,
what you're doing with your real estate career.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
But I'm just not like that is not happening. That
does not work for me.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
That's not happening. But at the concert, though, I did
hear from someone saying that you were a little flirty.
Who were you flirting with?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I don't know who was I find that's amazing. I
was flirting. I love it.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
You don't even know.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
There was a photographer that I know that he's so
cute and he's always like he's like, hell, you're very flirtatious.
I think that, Like, I'm just very easy around men.
And you know, I don't know if you knows. I
have a twin brother, and so I'm just very relaxed
around men.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Like the diamond guy.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, the
diamond guy that was married, yeah, Kelly, I didn't know,
never ring. And then his wife came out and I
was like, yeah, he's got great game, he's got diamonds
and he's fun and I know that guy.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Oh okay, got it.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Got it?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
You know. I always say too, like you never know,
like who you're going to meet and who they might know,
do you know what I mean? Like you may be
like he might be like, hey, you guys, like I'm married,
but you should meet my friend.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
He's over there in the suite, like you never know,
you don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
I met a vegan farmer. He was the other another
guy that like, I just smiled at him.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
He was like hey, and I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
I started starting, you know, striking up a conversation for
the two guests, my two friends, my two new friends,
and like, you know, he's telling me about being a
vegan farmer. And that's when I found out about, you know,
this whole thing with my with my love of gummy
bears and how it's you know, completely over because everything
is going to be all natural and healthy and my
(12:07):
life is so much better.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
It's fine.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
But he was very cute and then yeah, and then
the woman came out and she was like.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
That's my husband. I was like, okay, great.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
One thing about this whole thing about like meeting people
that I'm married, is that if you're if you're married,
if your husband or wife are married, and you can
walk around and have fun with someone who's not, that's
a true testament to the relationship you have with your wife.
I Mean there's men that are like looking for people
that's totally inappropriate if you're married, but like, if you
(12:38):
can have fun with people in general and just like
laugh with them, Like, there's absolutely nothing wrong with like,
you know, smiling and like having like a fun little banter.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
With the opposite sex. Zero.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
What is wrong is engaging in inappropriate activity That is wrong,
like being like hey, can I get your number exactly?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Or if you find out that the person is you know, misleading,
married or or you know, has a wife, that's when
you're like, you know, you need to be respectful.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Of course, of course.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I mean I know, I've I've been married and I've
had women be disrespectful to me and to my marriage,
so I know what that feels like.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, same. But you like we're like same,
same z is how does a girl up to a
man at their own, you know, bachelor party and slide
their number? Like that's just so disrespectful, Like don't don't
go up to the groom, you know and give your
number or have.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
The groom tell me like that he should have married me.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Oh yeah, speaking of though, because we've both been in
some you know, not great relationships with good not great men,
what is the quality that you're most looking for now
(14:05):
in a relationship from oh, from a man, Like, what's
the quality that you are hoping like what's the number
one quality you want them to have?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
You know, I was talking to my therapist today.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
We were talking about this exact question, and it's safety.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
It's just this emotion. I'm craving this emotional safety.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
It's like I I give this to my kids, to
my friends, you know, I make them feel like they
don't have they don't have anything in the world to
worry about as long as I'm their friend.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
But I don't feel like that.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
And that's one thing that I'm craving is just to
be able to be like, hey, you had a great podcast,
or it's reading outside, or you know, just stupid things
that are just I just want to like include that
person in my life with all of those different things
that have happened, whether they're significant or insignificant. I mean
(14:59):
basically every thing that happens to your partner significant if
you really really care about them. And emotional safety, I
think is something that like I've never had and I'm
I'm craving it.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Right, Yeah, No, I I definitely. And that's there's a
there's such a safety like what it does for your soul.
Having that safe safety, it gives you so much, like
that peace is just that feels it's not chaotic, you know,
like you can really just kind of rest and rest
in peace, and that's a that's a really beautiful place
(15:31):
to be.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, I don't know what that's like, but I'm looking
for it.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
And I'm going that's the thing out of the two
guys that you talked about, because on the last episode
you talked about two guys that you or I mean,
I wouldn't say you're like deciding between, but you're also
just entertaining both. Is there one that you feel more
safe with? Like is that maybe where you'll where you'll
end up or is it because I almost think, okay,
(15:58):
and maybe this is wrong, But so I was talking
to a guy when I was you know, and we
were not official or anything like that. We were just
kind of casually dating, and you know, and then I
met Alan. I knew immediately. I was like, he's done.
This is my person, you know what I mean, Like, yeah,
I just I just knew, like I didn't even want
(16:20):
to entertain anybody else. Well luctually that was even before.
But at the time, like I was, wasn't talking to anyone,
and then when I started talking to Alan, he kind
of came back around. He's like texting me like, hey,
you know, and I'm like, no, like, I actually like,
I don't want anything. I don't want to be with
you at all. So is it do you think the
fact that you're even kind of like hmming and hauling
(16:41):
one or the other that neither one of them might
not because it's like you don't have a strong pull
for one.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
You know, I think that. I mean, I wish I could.
I wish I could blame.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Them, but I'm gonna have to blame myself for this
at this time, you know, because we've only been I've
only been going through this new metamorphosis for the past
you know, month, six weeks, and so I'm starting to
recognize the things that I want and that I I
(17:13):
am going to get.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
And so.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Whether these guys are the greatest guys in the world,
you know, I really like both of them.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
I think they're great.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
I mean, I think that one of them is really
a really, really amazing guy. I just don't know like
where he is and in terms of like where we
would be in our life, because I mean, I want
to get It's not people are like, do you want
to get married? It's not that I want to get married,
but I want a committed relationship and I want a
family for my family. That's what I've always wanted to
(17:44):
stay one. That's why I got divorced, Like, I want
a family for my family. And so I'm looking for
that man who is going to be that partner in
love crime with me and Mike and me and my
family and his family. And I'm getting closer to understanding
what I really want. And one thing that my therapist
(18:05):
and I were talking about today is just there's there's manifesting,
which was so great when I wrote that letter to
my future husband. It really put a different narrative in
my head versus the you know what's wrong with me?
Speaker 2 (18:19):
What you know? People don't like me? Do I like them?
Speaker 3 (18:23):
You know?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Just all of this.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Self doubt And so now she was, She's like, I
really want you to be proactive about talking positively about
yourself and about what you really really want.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
And what you deserve too, because I think that's where
I always went wrong, was I didn't think I deserved X,
Y and Z. You know, yeah, So.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I mean I'm sorry for that.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
You're like such a I mean every time that we
get to hang out together, I'm like, oh, I love her.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
But I'm glad that you're doing that manifestation though, because
I do believe in that too. Like there is, yes,
there's healing work, but there's also positive talk. And I
think that's if you're going to positive time and like
I'm never gonna find anyone, well, then you're not going
to find anyone because you're you're not going to have
the outlook to find someone.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
And I just think positive talk is really really important.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
And so you know where again, like to just answer
your question, you know, I'm working really working hard on
myself and I'm hoping that the people that are you
know around me are seeing that.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
And you know, you don't know what's going to happen in.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Life, but I feel really good about today and I'm
going to feel even better about tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
I mean, write it on a postcard. That's so good.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
It's so good ascard, I know.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
I mean, it's it's good. Okay, let's go to just
the people that are, you know, wanting some more dating advice.
When you're out and you see a cute guy and
you send over a drink to get his attention, have
you done that before? Is that something that you've done.
Have you ever? Actually I bought a drink for another
guy and never, I mean I haven't either. I'm curious
(20:07):
if guys like that boldness or not.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I don't know. I don't know if men would like
that boldness for me.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
I think that they would be kind of like, wow,
who is that?
Speaker 2 (20:18):
What is she doing? I think that they would take
it the wrong way to be honest.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
With you really, see, Okay, So I'm gonna play devil's
advocate on this one because I almost look at you
and I as I would be intimidated to talk to you. Really, Yeah,
though you're lovely and I know you now because you're
so beautiful and like you're strong and like if I
was a guy, I might be a little and which
also you want a strong guy, right, But I think
(20:44):
it was I think if you've gotten the you know,
guys are intimidated or by you or something, and it's
like maybe it's okay to make the first move so
that way they know that, like you want to be approached,
because a lot of times, even though girls say they
want to be approached, they really don't want to be approach.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
I don't know, just the theory.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
So that's interesting people.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I mean there's there's some people that have said like that,
you know that I'm I'm kind of intimidating, but then
when people meet me, they're like, oh my god. No,
not at all, Like they're like, oh my god. Everyone
always wants to come talk to you. You're smiling, you're
having a good time, You're always like engaging people, and
(21:27):
when they do meet me, I mean, I'm I'm outwardly,
I'm outwardly confident, but inwardly very very very very insecure
really so so it's like, there'll meet me and but
I'm like, you know, listening to Jenny and she's like
follow me in the car, and I'm like I would never.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Could never out of crawled inside like yeah, yeah, I'm
so like I've always wanted to, like like with the
guy like that, but like I don't have That's where
I'm like insecure, Like, well, maybe they wouldn't want to
follow me.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Then I don't know what if he turned left?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Yeah, what is your biggest insecurity? Like you say, you're
outwardly you know, confident, but you know, inside you know, insecure.
So I'm curious, what is what is that insecurity piece?
(22:29):
What is it telling you.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
It's telling me this is what we talked about before
about the safety. It's like, are they are they really
interested in knowing about me as.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
A person or me as you know.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
It's like when they talk about the idea of a person,
like I think that and maybe this is just me
being I don't know, insecure more insecure. It's just like
I think that people just real like the idea. I
get very very very Insecure's it? I just get rawly insecure.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Okay, Well, I'm going to have thank you for sharing that.
You know, I think we all deal with insecurities, and
you know, we need to like speak truth into what
the actual you know, truth is around it. And obviously
we have amazing therapists that can help us do that
and friends too.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Do you want to know the real reason why I'm
so insecure? The real reason that I'm so insecure is
because when I went on television before social media, I
had just gotten divorced and you know, obviously, you know,
my ex husband was not faithful to me and I
was you know, I had to put up with a
lot of of infidelity for the sake of my girls,
(23:44):
and so you know, I had the confidence to get
divorced and happy that you know, he can be a
father to him in the way that's good for him,
and my girls are healthy and well. But then I
wanted a television show where I was literally like laddered
against a wall for having confidence and being able to say, like,
(24:05):
I don't like when people talk badly to me. I
was really really I was literally slammed up against the
wall in terms of like socially, and people were like, oh,
is she really that mean? And I'm like, no one
ever in my life has ever called me mean ever,
never never. Okay, maybe my kids when I won't give
them what they want, but no person, even any guy,
(24:28):
has never said that I'm mean. They've said I'm distant,
they say that, you know, certain other things, but they've
never no one ever has used those words, that word
to describe me except for this what happened like literally culturally,
and it was really it's been very, very very difficult
(24:49):
to get past that and to get through that and
to get to go to be on the other side
of that.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
And I feel like that's one thing that I've really really.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
That's it almost identified you in the in the wrong way,
Like it's not who you are, but like you yet
you've been ident you're label to identified as this when
it's like you're fighting to be like that's not who
I am, right, yeah, that's it's and that's hard to
because it's it's such a like it's almost like you're
being gas lit by other people, like always by other
(25:20):
people and everybody. But it's like, but no, that's not and
then you feel like you have to defend. But it's like, yeah,
that's that's exhausting real.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
And it was never like, oh, like, you know, you're
so nice to say to give me a compliment.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Most people do never do that.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
They're always like, oh, that's from that's from this, or
she was like that and she was so mean to
this person and she's mean, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Like, okay, right, well, and at this you know, this stage.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
And I think a lot of guys sorry to interrupt you,
but I think a lot of guys because they think
that's what it is, so they also kind of try
to gaslight me too. And in the past like month
and a half, I used to get gas lit and
and like internalize it and be like oh my god,
like that's how they see me, that's how they feel
(26:13):
about me. That's how people sat to when I walk
outside the street, that's what people think about me. And
now I'm just like, no, that's not how people think
about me. And it doesn't matter if they think about
me like that anyway, right, I just I don't I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
I feel different.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
I feel like I have a new shield or like
like I said, like the metapomorphosis.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yeah, it's it's recognizing. And I think that's for anyone listening.
There's always someone that said something about you that isn't true.
They've spoken untruth into you because of something either they
heard or they might have witnessed from a you know,
maybe we're having a bad day or something. I don't know,
but at the end of the day, you know who
you are, you know your own truth, and you know
(26:52):
what's in your four walls. And that's always kind of
whenever I get a little shaken by something that has
been said, you know, allan's always like the four like
that's that we know who is in the four walls,
and that's right. Really, all the people that really matter
to it's only like your family knows you are loved,
and does anything else matter outside the four walls.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
No, right, you know it doesn't. My dad used to
call it your like inner coconut. Don't let people into
the coconut. Like what you know who your people that
you are close, close, people you're very close, friends, your family,
people that are your friends who are become your family.
And I totally agree with that. And I just feel that,
you know, it's funny I just said. I actually said
(27:34):
it was a metamorphosis. And I feel like I'm a butterfly.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Love that I'm a butterfly. You're a butterfly. Okay, So
speaking of butterfly and fluttering into DMS, do you believe
in the DM in a route fluttering into DMS? Do
you believe in that route? Listen, I have blindly DMed
when I was single, and I've had some good connections,
(28:01):
you know, some some good you know, friend connections from
from them from there too. They obviously weren't love connections.
But I know my husband he love connected me, you know,
with with dming me. But I think some women might
be like, no, I want to be approached. But in
this day and age and you have status and being
able to go onto Instagram, you know, is there. I
(28:25):
don't want to say a celebrity, but is there someone
that you want to reach out to in DMS? And
would you do it? And if not, can I do
it for you? Wing woman?
Speaker 2 (28:37):
I was like, give me your phone.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
I was like all this because because this is this
is what So my girl Jesse Decker when I was single,
She's like, who do you want me to DM? And
I was like, Jesse, like nobody. She's like no, no, okay,
let me think about this. Okay, this is this guy
and she she was just straight up DM dudes. Yeah,
And like, I'm like, you are so like she was
like the best wing woman. I just really think we
need to find the person. You don't have to say
(29:01):
his name, but I am going to challenge you to
DM someone and take that bold step because I think
it's a good thing.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Today, I have to think about, like who that was
like right now, I'm like.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I mean, I'm thinking like Kevin Costner.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
That's what I was thinking about.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
He he looks good in a cowboy hat.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I like good in a cowboy We have so much
in common.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
You doser. Oh wait, he's on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Oh my god, you are hilarious. You are so funny.
Here wait, can Kelly.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
D m him right now from your phone. I want
you to do it right now, and I want we
want we need to see proof of this, okay, and
we'll put it on socials.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Oh my god, he's going to be like, hello, okay.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Just be like, okay, be like your ears must be ringing,
and like, I like it's something like cute, like I think,
are your ears ringing? Winky faced? Talking about my love
for horses and your name popped up? Let me know
if you're ever in New York?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Talking love? Gosh, this is so good.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Because you gotta like put thrown an interest. Okay, so
everyone listening, if you want to reach out to someone
thrown an interest that you know that they're like you
guys both like love and share. Say you know, thinking
of something you know or like you know, your your
ears ringing? Whatever?
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Okay, your ears must be ringing talking my love for
horses and your name came up?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
When are you in New York? Also?
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Put Jana Kramer in your next movie.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I'm kidding.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I'm getting kidding.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
My great friends a great actress. You'll love her. I
love that.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Okay, I need you to pressend.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
You know what's so funny though, is that because I
always say aloha? Like we don't you don't. I don't text,
but like every time, like I would be like aloha.
That's my way of saying hello. And when I was
on Riah this summer, you know, I was like saying
aloha and everyone's like, they were like.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Do you live in Hawaii? I'm like, no, why would I.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
We're going to drop the aloha. I love you. We're
dropping aloha. Please do not aloha? Kevin Costner, Kevin, did
you send that?
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Not say a loha? By the way, thank you?
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Did you send it?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Let me see. I don't believe you.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I haven't anything. I sent it. So good.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Okay, Well that's something we get to recap on.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Yeah, let's see what he says. Let's see does it
get read. It's probably like his publicist.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
But like at the end of the day, well great
that this publicism be like wow, you know then Kevin,
here you go. But I think it's something. Keep thinking
of other people DM DM away because you know what's
the worst can happen They don't read it, or they
don't respond, or they do and guess what, You've got
a fun little you know, you know, drink date come
in your way.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Or you know whoever all to the listeners too, whoever
is listening, if you if you have an idea of
someone that you think would be really good for me,
because before I was like no athletes, no actors, like
I had all these rules, and now I'm just like
as the butterfly, I'm like, no, no, no, I am
open to meet all these different kinds of people. So
if you guys think of anyone too that you think
would be good for me, please let me know and
(32:37):
I will let my fingers do the walking.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
And her wings do the floppen. Okay, twenty twenty five.
Are we wanting to be in a relationship or we
wanted to just continue this single?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
No?
Speaker 3 (32:51):
No, no, no, in a serious relationship and ready to go
like I have.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
That's the intention for twenty twenty five. I'm here for it.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Be in like not like, not.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
Like oh, let's date, like in a very very serious
relationship that's moving forward towards getting being being married.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
And you know what, and this is the thing for
everyone listening to project what you want. Don't say you're
never going to find or this, that and the other.
Project it say what you want and go out and
find it. You know.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
What was interesting too, is just being in LA with everybody.
Like I never thought of LA as a place that
I would live. I always thought of an La as
a place that I went to work and then came back.
And you know, I'm at lunch with my friends the
other day and I'm like, you know what, I love LA.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Like it's a it's very me. It's like it's very
high and very low.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
Like people are just having a really good time and
they're walking around in T shirts and then they go
to their you know, they do their work, and it's
just it's I feel very, very good and healthy in LA,
whereas it's you know, I work in Miami and Florid
in Palm Beach, and I've been going there all my life.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
I just when I'm there, I just don't feel good.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
When I'm yeah, well, I mean listen, listen to yourself,
you know, and like if that's the places it's not
my friend too, she's divorced. She's like, I'm not going
there anymore because it's not filling my soul, like my
soul cup, you know, I'm gonna She actually loves Miami,
but again, we're we live here in Nashville, so it's
kind of it's fun.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I love working in Miami.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
I just have never I'm just it's just never been
a place where I'm just like this is Maybe it's
because there's no horses and there's you know, I really,
I really do. I love I love the beach and
I love horses. I love that I love those are
the two lives.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
I really yes, we love that so much. And you know, Kelly,
we are going to be you know, just on this
journey with you. We're excited for twenty twenty five. You've
put out the intentions and you know, stay tuned for
a Yellowstone Part two.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
I'm just having so much fun.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Was telling my kids over the weekend, like it's just
so nice to be in an environment or like I
feel safe, Like I feel safe to communicate, I feel
safe to tell you like how I'm why I'm so
deeply like I'm scarred. I have total PTSD from my
experience is like on Housewives, complete and utter, very very
(35:15):
serious PTSD one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Well, you're doing all the work, and.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
I just feel so good now.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Just being able to communicate and to be able to
to just be myself and you know, I'm super flawed,
and you know what, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
I don't have to be like a.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Men's sister, you know, and someone's gonna love all the parts.
Like I have so many flaws, and I've seen such
a weird past and not weird past, but a hard past,
and like he loves every piece of it, you know.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
So, by the way, I'm a ass singer. You were amazing.
I was like, oh my gosh, I know her.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
I'm so sweet, thank you, all right, I love you. Kelly. Well,
Kelly is the best, and it was so great catching
up with her, and it's really truly amazing to see
how far she's come since that first episode we taped
a few months ago, just coming off the heels of
that broken engagement, and just you know, I just I
feel like she's just happier and stronger, and it's just
(36:14):
really been great to watch her along this journey. Listen to.
This podcast is all about you, guys, the listeners, who
have also had difficult times with finding love, and we
want to hear from you and give you advice. So
call us or email us, follow us on socials. All
the information will be in the show notes. Make sure
to rate and review the podcast. I Do Part two,
an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.
I Do Part Two is a unique podcast that is
all about finding love again. Maybe you didn't get it
right the first time, or maybe you had love and
you lost it and now you are getting back out
into the dating scene. Well, I'm one of your hosts,
Jana Kramer, and today I wanted to touch base with one
of our celebrity mentors you love her on this podcast,
former Real Housewife of New York Ellie Benzimone. Kelly, Can
(00:36):
I just first just can we just talk about how
beautiful you looked at the iHeartRadio jingle Balls, jingle Balls,
jingle Bells, jingle Ball jingle Balls. I mean, you just
and it was so funny my husband when you know,
I had my husband come in and meet everyone because
(00:57):
he hasn't met that I Do Part two crew. I
was like, I feel like I've seen her. I was like,
she was probably up like on a you know, like
you probably had her on your walls or something because
she's she's she's a model, she's beauty. He's like, yeah,
she's like, she's she's a beautiful lady. I was like,
I know, she's stunning.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Thank you, that's so nice.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Oh my god, you guys, youse are the greatest couple.
You guys are so sweet and loving and just oh god,
you're just like the perfect couple.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Thank you, thank you. I mean that's very sweet to say.
I don't know if there's do you actually believe that
there's a perfect couple.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I believe. I mean you guys have that.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I mean, you guys have just like nice, really just
quality energy. It's just like, you know, he's really respectful
of you and you're really respectful of him.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
And I just think that's just like those are that's
those are like a couple.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Goals when you have like the you know i mutual admiration,
mutual respect.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
That's just I mean, thank you, and it's you know,
it's Jenny has.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
The word too perfect, is yeah, and is yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I'm just the one odd one out. Oh not at all.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
But let's let's talk about Oh oh my, says the model,
says the you know, beautiful, tall, thin model. So let's
let's take it back to Los Angeles because we let's
well we'll take it back all all the way to LA.
But also, you know, you shared some things on the
(02:21):
last podcast that we did that you know, you've been
kind of talking to two different people, so I want
to I want to touch on that, but I also
want to see you know, we had some listeners come
out and what was what what was the vibe? Like
did how did it? How did it go for for
you and and the listeners there? Was there anything that
(02:43):
you noticed or anything happened that I didn't see because
I was truth be told. I you know, I'm I'm
kind of old in the area where it's like I
always prefer to go home and be in my cozy's.
But I'm like, you know what, babe, I'm like, there's
a VI piece that we're invited to. Let's go up
there and just have some fun. And I'm so glad
(03:04):
we did because it was genuinely such a good time.
But I saw you guys over there, and you know,
I was I was rootin and I'm like, all right,
I hope, I hope it's going good. But what was
your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Well, first of all, I saw you and your cozy slippers,
so you're I did that.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I was like, that was the only way with me,
I'll make it. I'm like, if I'm going up there,
I'm changing my heels to slippers so I can still
all still rock the outfit, but like I need to
be somewhat cozy, right.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I love that you look so good, and I was
super jealous.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I was like, oh god, it's like I'm like in
these like sky I was like, literally, I think it
was like six to one on Friday night, which was
which was fun and tall and they're just you know,
the guests were just they're really they're really really nice girls,
really really nice and they've been through so much. So
when we were we were in the car, you weren't
(03:53):
in the car with us, and I sat in the
back with them and was just listening to their stories
and they were telling me their stories I mean of
just infidelity, and I mean.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I was shocked. I was really.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Shocked at to hear the stories that these guests had
gone through.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I mean I was really really shocked.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
And so that even gave me more of an impetus
to be like, let's have fun at ihear and just
you know, have so.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Much fun ging gole ball.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
You know, I always feel like I was actually talking
to my young my oldest daughter about this. I always
feel like when you're in a situation like that, it's
not always like you're looking to date someone. But it's
just nice to just genuinely be open to meeting a
lot of different people. And you know, I saw a
lot of people that I knew and I just was
(04:45):
literally walking around with them and I introduced them to
Like I literally was just smiling at people and people
were like hi and I. It was literally just introducing
them to absolutely everyone that was responding to you know,
six foot one smiling woman. It was It was really,
(05:05):
it was fun. We had a really really good time.
We had a really good time. He one one guy
was there and he was like talking to us and
he was having a great He had like serious jewelry
game on, like these massive diamonds and I was talking
about this jewey and his wife came out. She was
like what did he say. I was like, I don't know,
but that jewelry game is firing. She was really cute
and funny, and so we had a really nice time
just like chatting with them. And afterwards they were like,
(05:26):
you can't you told you were talking to the wife.
I'm like, so, I'm like, by the way, like you're
single and I'm single. You never know who people know
and they could be like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
She was really fun.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
She you know, was just talking to us and she's
you know, just having a good time, and like I
couldn't care less if she's married or not. Like I'm
not trying to go after her husband. I'm just having
meeting people and having a good time. So we had
had a lot of fun. You know, I had a
lot of fun.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Introducing them to a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
But with like what you just said, some of my
best like memories of even going out is I've met
actually girlfriends from going out and being places. And so
whether it's a love connection or you know, a man connections,
it's usually it's a people connection. You know, I met
one of my best friends in the middle seat of
a Southwest flight, you know. So it's like I think
(06:15):
it's being open to any connection when you go up.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
I mean, they got to meet Teddy, they got to
hang out, they were hanging out with me, They got
to meet a lot of people that they probably wouldn't
have met from you know, the Golden Bachelor and Bachelorette.
There were a lot of people that they got to meet.
And to your point, you know, you never know who
you're going to meet and how you're going to meet people.
(06:40):
And so I was just talking to everybody, and I
think that's really I mean, just from my own experience,
that's how you meet great people.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
It's just being out and about and.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
People just see your energy and feel your energy and
you're having a good time. They're like, oh my god,
that looks like a good crew. Let's get to know them.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
It was about the experience, and I think, like, you know,
and for me, like, okay, obviously I'm there and my
husband's on my arm, but like I got to sit
next to Ali, you know, Larder, and I was like,
that's cool. Like I've always thought she's an amazing actress.
And I took this was kind like and it took
me a second. Well, she was like it took me
(07:17):
kind of. I'm like, really weird when it comes to
like people were there receipts or whatever, and you know,
some of the interns were like do you want to
sit down? Like no, no, like you are sitting like
just because like you sit, you know what I mean. Like,
so we stood up in the back like for for
most of it, and then they got up and they're
like no, sit down. I'm like no, like seriously. But
then I'm like okay, fine, Like when you do that,
I'm like, all right, all right, fine, we'll sit now.
So when we sat down, I notice is really beautiful
(07:41):
blonde next to me, and they were they were trying
to like take a photo, and I'm like, I'll take
it for you. But when I took her phone to
like take the photo, I was like, oh, that's Ali Larder,
you know what I mean. And I'm like, like, she's
like I love her work, and well no, but and
like I'm like, I know, she has no idea who
I am. She's got to probably think that or she
probably saw that I registered it while I'm taking their photo,
(08:02):
you know what i mean, like her and her friend's photo.
So I'm like this is cool. But then I'm like
her foot her camera was kind of dirty, so I
like cleaned it, you know what I mean, and like
it sound like and then like I took, I took
a picture of them. But that to that point, it
was like it was an experience and like I didn't
know that. I was like that was cool. I got
to like have an interaction with her, and then you know,
I've got to you know, run and have you know,
(08:23):
see Teddy again and give her a hug and squeeze
her and then see you know, the the Golden Bachelorettes, Like.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
It was there just so fun there.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Yeah, they're just they're so fun, so beautiful and so
vibrant and you know, so yeah. I think it's all
about when you go into dating worlds to remember the
experience of it, because there's always going to be a
new experience one one doesn't look the same. And to
go on that. Was there anything that came up for
(08:52):
you in La? Were there any old flames that might
have texted you, Kelly, or did you have any run
ins when you were there?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
One of my clos was like, oh, let's let's get drinks.
And I'm like okay.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
And we're sitting there and he's telling me how he
owns this vineyard and I'm like that's great, you know,
I'm just listening to him. And then he was telling
me how he's, uh, he's a player.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I was like, what what guy wants? What guy just
like that?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
And I'm just like that doesn't make me. First of all,
you're my client.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Second, that doesn't make me wanting to jump up on you.
And then and then he goes, you know how.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Old was he, he said, in like sixties, mid sixties.
Then he goes to me again, that makes sense, Telly.
He's like, I really, I really don't like brunettes. But
I'm okay with you.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Oh my gosh, we are not. I'm not allowing you
to date him. I'm sorry. I'm going to pull the
mother card on this and you cannot date him. And
it's not for you who says that.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I think that you know, listen, as hard as it
is for girls, it's the same thing with guts. And
you know, we were talking, you know about like, you know,
our game, That's what we were.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Talking about together.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
And you know, some people just think that this kind
of like being aloof or saying things like I'm so great,
who are you?
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Is going to make the other person like you more?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
But does Like I can see right through that. I'm like, okay, whatever,
I'm happy to.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Like, you know, chat with you and have.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Fun and you know, have a glass of wine and
talk to you about what you're where you're you know,
what you're doing with your real estate career.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
But I'm just not like that is not happening. That
does not work for me.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
That's not happening. But at the concert, though, I did
hear from someone saying that you were a little flirty.
Who were you flirting with?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I don't know who was I find that's amazing. I
was flirting. I love it.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
You don't even know.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
There was a photographer that I know that he's so
cute and he's always like he's like, hell, you're very flirtatious.
I think that, Like, I'm just very easy around men.
And you know, I don't know if you knows. I
have a twin brother, and so I'm just very relaxed
around men.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Like the diamond guy.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, the
diamond guy that was married, yeah, Kelly, I didn't know,
never ring. And then his wife came out and I
was like, yeah, he's got great game, he's got diamonds
and he's fun and I know that guy.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Oh okay, got it.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Got it?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
You know. I always say too, like you never know,
like who you're going to meet and who they might know,
do you know what I mean? Like you may be
like he might be like, hey, you guys, like I'm married,
but you should meet my friend.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
He's over there in the suite, like you never know,
you don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
I met a vegan farmer. He was the other another
guy that like, I just smiled at him.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
He was like hey, and I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
I started starting, you know, striking up a conversation for
the two guests, my two friends, my two new friends,
and like, you know, he's telling me about being a
vegan farmer. And that's when I found out about, you know,
this whole thing with my with my love of gummy
bears and how it's you know, completely over because everything
is going to be all natural and healthy and my
(12:07):
life is so much better.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
It's fine.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
But he was very cute and then yeah, and then
the woman came out and she was like.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
That's my husband. I was like, okay, great.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
One thing about this whole thing about like meeting people
that I'm married, is that if you're if you're married,
if your husband or wife are married, and you can
walk around and have fun with someone who's not, that's
a true testament to the relationship you have with your wife.
I Mean there's men that are like looking for people
that's totally inappropriate if you're married, but like, if you
(12:38):
can have fun with people in general and just like
laugh with them, Like, there's absolutely nothing wrong with like,
you know, smiling and like having like a fun little banter.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
With the opposite sex. Zero.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
What is wrong is engaging in inappropriate activity That is wrong,
like being like hey, can I get your number exactly?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Or if you find out that the person is you know, misleading,
married or or you know, has a wife, that's when
you're like, you know, you need to be respectful.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Of course, of course.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I mean I know, I've I've been married and I've
had women be disrespectful to me and to my marriage,
so I know what that feels like.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, same. But you like we're like same,
same z is how does a girl up to a
man at their own, you know, bachelor party and slide
their number? Like that's just so disrespectful, Like don't don't
go up to the groom, you know and give your
number or have.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
The groom tell me like that he should have married me.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Oh yeah, speaking of though, because we've both been in
some you know, not great relationships with good not great men,
what is the quality that you're most looking for now
(14:05):
in a relationship from oh, from a man, Like, what's
the quality that you are hoping like what's the number
one quality you want them to have?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
You know, I was talking to my therapist today.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
We were talking about this exact question, and it's safety.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
It's just this emotion. I'm craving this emotional safety.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
It's like I I give this to my kids, to
my friends, you know, I make them feel like they
don't have they don't have anything in the world to
worry about as long as I'm their friend.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
But I don't feel like that.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
And that's one thing that I'm craving is just to
be able to be like, hey, you had a great podcast,
or it's reading outside, or you know, just stupid things
that are just I just want to like include that
person in my life with all of those different things
that have happened, whether they're significant or insignificant. I mean
(14:59):
basically every thing that happens to your partner significant if
you really really care about them. And emotional safety, I
think is something that like I've never had and I'm
I'm craving it.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Right, Yeah, No, I I definitely. And that's there's a
there's such a safety like what it does for your soul.
Having that safe safety, it gives you so much, like
that peace is just that feels it's not chaotic, you know,
like you can really just kind of rest and rest
in peace, and that's a that's a really beautiful place
(15:31):
to be.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, I don't know what that's like, but I'm looking
for it.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
And I'm going that's the thing out of the two
guys that you talked about, because on the last episode
you talked about two guys that you or I mean,
I wouldn't say you're like deciding between, but you're also
just entertaining both. Is there one that you feel more
safe with? Like is that maybe where you'll where you'll
end up or is it because I almost think, okay,
(15:58):
and maybe this is wrong, But so I was talking
to a guy when I was you know, and we
were not official or anything like that. We were just
kind of casually dating, and you know, and then I
met Alan. I knew immediately. I was like, he's done.
This is my person, you know what I mean, Like, yeah,
I just I just knew, like I didn't even want
(16:20):
to entertain anybody else. Well luctually that was even before.
But at the time, like I was, wasn't talking to anyone,
and then when I started talking to Alan, he kind
of came back around. He's like texting me like, hey,
you know, and I'm like, no, like, I actually like,
I don't want anything. I don't want to be with
you at all. So is it do you think the
fact that you're even kind of like hmming and hauling
(16:41):
one or the other that neither one of them might
not because it's like you don't have a strong pull
for one.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
You know, I think that. I mean, I wish I could.
I wish I could blame.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Them, but I'm gonna have to blame myself for this
at this time, you know, because we've only been I've
only been going through this new metamorphosis for the past
you know, month, six weeks, and so I'm starting to
recognize the things that I want and that I I
(17:13):
am going to get.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
And so.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Whether these guys are the greatest guys in the world,
you know, I really like both of them.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
I think they're great.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
I mean, I think that one of them is really
a really, really amazing guy. I just don't know like
where he is and in terms of like where we
would be in our life, because I mean, I want
to get It's not people are like, do you want
to get married? It's not that I want to get married,
but I want a committed relationship and I want a
family for my family. That's what I've always wanted to
(17:44):
stay one. That's why I got divorced, Like, I want
a family for my family. And so I'm looking for
that man who is going to be that partner in
love crime with me and Mike and me and my
family and his family. And I'm getting closer to understanding
what I really want. And one thing that my therapist
(18:05):
and I were talking about today is just there's there's manifesting,
which was so great when I wrote that letter to
my future husband. It really put a different narrative in
my head versus the you know what's wrong with me?
Speaker 2 (18:19):
What you know? People don't like me? Do I like them?
Speaker 3 (18:23):
You know?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Just all of this.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Self doubt And so now she was, She's like, I
really want you to be proactive about talking positively about
yourself and about what you really really want.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
And what you deserve too, because I think that's where
I always went wrong, was I didn't think I deserved X,
Y and Z. You know, yeah, So.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I mean I'm sorry for that.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
You're like such a I mean every time that we
get to hang out together, I'm like, oh, I love her.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
But I'm glad that you're doing that manifestation though, because
I do believe in that too. Like there is, yes,
there's healing work, but there's also positive talk. And I
think that's if you're going to positive time and like
I'm never gonna find anyone, well, then you're not going
to find anyone because you're you're not going to have
the outlook to find someone.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
And I just think positive talk is really really important.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
And so you know where again, like to just answer
your question, you know, I'm working really working hard on
myself and I'm hoping that the people that are you
know around me are seeing that.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
And you know, you don't know what's going to happen in.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Life, but I feel really good about today and I'm
going to feel even better about tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
I mean, write it on a postcard. That's so good.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
It's so good ascard, I know.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
I mean, it's it's good. Okay, let's go to just
the people that are, you know, wanting some more dating advice.
When you're out and you see a cute guy and
you send over a drink to get his attention, have
you done that before? Is that something that you've done.
Have you ever? Actually I bought a drink for another
guy and never, I mean I haven't either. I'm curious
(20:07):
if guys like that boldness or not.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I don't know. I don't know if men would like
that boldness for me.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
I think that they would be kind of like, wow,
who is that?
Speaker 2 (20:18):
What is she doing? I think that they would take
it the wrong way to be honest.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
With you really, see, Okay, So I'm gonna play devil's
advocate on this one because I almost look at you
and I as I would be intimidated to talk to you. Really, Yeah,
though you're lovely and I know you now because you're
so beautiful and like you're strong and like if I
was a guy, I might be a little and which
also you want a strong guy, right, But I think
(20:44):
it was I think if you've gotten the you know,
guys are intimidated or by you or something, and it's
like maybe it's okay to make the first move so
that way they know that, like you want to be approached,
because a lot of times, even though girls say they
want to be approached, they really don't want to be approach.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
I don't know, just the theory.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
So that's interesting people.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I mean there's there's some people that have said like that,
you know that I'm I'm kind of intimidating, but then
when people meet me, they're like, oh my god. No,
not at all, Like they're like, oh my god. Everyone
always wants to come talk to you. You're smiling, you're
having a good time, You're always like engaging people, and
(21:27):
when they do meet me, I mean, I'm I'm outwardly,
I'm outwardly confident, but inwardly very very very very insecure
really so so it's like, there'll meet me and but
I'm like, you know, listening to Jenny and she's like
follow me in the car, and I'm like I would never.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Could never out of crawled inside like yeah, yeah, I'm
so like I've always wanted to, like like with the
guy like that, but like I don't have That's where
I'm like insecure, Like, well, maybe they wouldn't want to
follow me.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Then I don't know what if he turned left?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Yeah, what is your biggest insecurity? Like you say, you're
outwardly you know, confident, but you know, inside you know, insecure.
So I'm curious, what is what is that insecurity piece?
(22:29):
What is it telling you.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
It's telling me this is what we talked about before
about the safety. It's like, are they are they really
interested in knowing about me as.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
A person or me as you know.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
It's like when they talk about the idea of a person,
like I think that and maybe this is just me
being I don't know, insecure more insecure. It's just like
I think that people just real like the idea. I
get very very very Insecure's it? I just get rawly insecure.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Okay, Well, I'm going to have thank you for sharing that.
You know, I think we all deal with insecurities, and
you know, we need to like speak truth into what
the actual you know, truth is around it. And obviously
we have amazing therapists that can help us do that
and friends too.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Do you want to know the real reason why I'm
so insecure? The real reason that I'm so insecure is
because when I went on television before social media, I
had just gotten divorced and you know, obviously, you know,
my ex husband was not faithful to me and I
was you know, I had to put up with a
lot of of infidelity for the sake of my girls,
(23:44):
and so you know, I had the confidence to get
divorced and happy that you know, he can be a
father to him in the way that's good for him,
and my girls are healthy and well. But then I
wanted a television show where I was literally like laddered
against a wall for having confidence and being able to say, like,
(24:05):
I don't like when people talk badly to me. I
was really really I was literally slammed up against the
wall in terms of like socially, and people were like, oh,
is she really that mean? And I'm like, no one
ever in my life has ever called me mean ever,
never never. Okay, maybe my kids when I won't give
them what they want, but no person, even any guy,
(24:28):
has never said that I'm mean. They've said I'm distant,
they say that, you know, certain other things, but they've
never no one ever has used those words, that word
to describe me except for this what happened like literally culturally,
and it was really it's been very, very very difficult
(24:49):
to get past that and to get through that and
to get to go to be on the other side
of that.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
And I feel like that's one thing that I've really really.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
That's it almost identified you in the in the wrong way,
Like it's not who you are, but like you yet
you've been ident you're label to identified as this when
it's like you're fighting to be like that's not who
I am, right, yeah, that's it's and that's hard to
because it's it's such a like it's almost like you're
being gas lit by other people, like always by other
(25:20):
people and everybody. But it's like, but no, that's not and
then you feel like you have to defend. But it's like, yeah,
that's that's exhausting real.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
And it was never like, oh, like, you know, you're
so nice to say to give me a compliment.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Most people do never do that.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
They're always like, oh, that's from that's from this, or
she was like that and she was so mean to
this person and she's mean, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Like, okay, right, well, and at this you know, this stage.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
And I think a lot of guys sorry to interrupt you,
but I think a lot of guys because they think
that's what it is, so they also kind of try
to gaslight me too. And in the past like month
and a half, I used to get gas lit and
and like internalize it and be like oh my god,
like that's how they see me, that's how they feel
(26:13):
about me. That's how people sat to when I walk
outside the street, that's what people think about me. And
now I'm just like, no, that's not how people think
about me. And it doesn't matter if they think about
me like that anyway, right, I just I don't I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
I feel different.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
I feel like I have a new shield or like
like I said, like the metapomorphosis.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yeah, it's it's recognizing. And I think that's for anyone listening.
There's always someone that said something about you that isn't true.
They've spoken untruth into you because of something either they
heard or they might have witnessed from a you know,
maybe we're having a bad day or something. I don't know,
but at the end of the day, you know who
you are, you know your own truth, and you know
(26:52):
what's in your four walls. And that's always kind of
whenever I get a little shaken by something that has
been said, you know, allan's always like the four like
that's that we know who is in the four walls,
and that's right. Really, all the people that really matter
to it's only like your family knows you are loved,
and does anything else matter outside the four walls.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
No, right, you know it doesn't. My dad used to
call it your like inner coconut. Don't let people into
the coconut. Like what you know who your people that
you are close, close, people you're very close, friends, your family,
people that are your friends who are become your family.
And I totally agree with that. And I just feel that,
you know, it's funny I just said. I actually said
(27:34):
it was a metamorphosis. And I feel like I'm a butterfly.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Love that I'm a butterfly. You're a butterfly. Okay, So
speaking of butterfly and fluttering into DMS, do you believe
in the DM in a route fluttering into DMS? Do
you believe in that route? Listen, I have blindly DMed
when I was single, and I've had some good connections,
(28:01):
you know, some some good you know, friend connections from
from them from there too. They obviously weren't love connections.
But I know my husband he love connected me, you know,
with with dming me. But I think some women might
be like, no, I want to be approached. But in
this day and age and you have status and being
able to go onto Instagram, you know, is there. I
(28:25):
don't want to say a celebrity, but is there someone
that you want to reach out to in DMS? And
would you do it? And if not, can I do
it for you? Wing woman?
Speaker 2 (28:37):
I was like, give me your phone.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
I was like all this because because this is this
is what So my girl Jesse Decker when I was single,
She's like, who do you want me to DM? And
I was like, Jesse, like nobody. She's like no, no, okay,
let me think about this. Okay, this is this guy
and she she was just straight up DM dudes. Yeah,
And like, I'm like, you are so like she was
like the best wing woman. I just really think we
need to find the person. You don't have to say
(29:01):
his name, but I am going to challenge you to
DM someone and take that bold step because I think
it's a good thing.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Today, I have to think about, like who that was
like right now, I'm like.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I mean, I'm thinking like Kevin Costner.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
That's what I was thinking about.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
He he looks good in a cowboy hat.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I like good in a cowboy We have so much
in common.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
You doser. Oh wait, he's on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Oh my god, you are hilarious. You are so funny.
Here wait, can Kelly.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
D m him right now from your phone. I want
you to do it right now, and I want we
want we need to see proof of this, okay, and
we'll put it on socials.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Oh my god, he's going to be like, hello, okay.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Just be like, okay, be like your ears must be ringing,
and like, I like it's something like cute, like I think,
are your ears ringing? Winky faced? Talking about my love
for horses and your name popped up? Let me know
if you're ever in New York?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Talking love? Gosh, this is so good.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Because you gotta like put thrown an interest. Okay, so
everyone listening, if you want to reach out to someone
thrown an interest that you know that they're like you
guys both like love and share. Say you know, thinking
of something you know or like you know, your your
ears ringing? Whatever?
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Okay, your ears must be ringing talking my love for
horses and your name came up?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
When are you in New York? Also?
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Put Jana Kramer in your next movie.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I'm kidding.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I'm getting kidding.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
My great friends a great actress. You'll love her. I
love that.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Okay, I need you to pressend.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
You know what's so funny though, is that because I
always say aloha? Like we don't you don't. I don't text,
but like every time, like I would be like aloha.
That's my way of saying hello. And when I was
on Riah this summer, you know, I was like saying
aloha and everyone's like, they were like.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Do you live in Hawaii? I'm like, no, why would I.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
We're going to drop the aloha. I love you. We're
dropping aloha. Please do not aloha? Kevin Costner, Kevin, did
you send that?
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Not say a loha? By the way, thank you?
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Did you send it?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Let me see. I don't believe you.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I haven't anything. I sent it. So good.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Okay, Well that's something we get to recap on.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Yeah, let's see what he says. Let's see does it
get read. It's probably like his publicist.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
But like at the end of the day, well great
that this publicism be like wow, you know then Kevin,
here you go. But I think it's something. Keep thinking
of other people DM DM away because you know what's
the worst can happen They don't read it, or they
don't respond, or they do and guess what, You've got
a fun little you know, you know, drink date come
in your way.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Or you know whoever all to the listeners too, whoever
is listening, if you if you have an idea of
someone that you think would be really good for me,
because before I was like no athletes, no actors, like
I had all these rules, and now I'm just like
as the butterfly, I'm like, no, no, no, I am
open to meet all these different kinds of people. So
if you guys think of anyone too that you think
would be good for me, please let me know and
(32:37):
I will let my fingers do the walking.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
And her wings do the floppen. Okay, twenty twenty five.
Are we wanting to be in a relationship or we
wanted to just continue this single?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
No?
Speaker 3 (32:51):
No, no, no, in a serious relationship and ready to go
like I have.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
That's the intention for twenty twenty five. I'm here for it.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Be in like not like, not.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
Like oh, let's date, like in a very very serious
relationship that's moving forward towards getting being being married.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
And you know what, and this is the thing for
everyone listening to project what you want. Don't say you're
never going to find or this, that and the other.
Project it say what you want and go out and
find it. You know.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
What was interesting too, is just being in LA with everybody.
Like I never thought of LA as a place that
I would live. I always thought of an La as
a place that I went to work and then came back.
And you know, I'm at lunch with my friends the
other day and I'm like, you know what, I love LA.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Like it's a it's very me. It's like it's very
high and very low.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
Like people are just having a really good time and
they're walking around in T shirts and then they go
to their you know, they do their work, and it's
just it's I feel very, very good and healthy in LA,
whereas it's you know, I work in Miami and Florid
in Palm Beach, and I've been going there all my life.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
I just when I'm there, I just don't feel good.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
When I'm yeah, well, I mean listen, listen to yourself,
you know, and like if that's the places it's not
my friend too, she's divorced. She's like, I'm not going
there anymore because it's not filling my soul, like my
soul cup, you know, I'm gonna She actually loves Miami,
but again, we're we live here in Nashville, so it's
kind of it's fun.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I love working in Miami.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
I just have never I'm just it's just never been
a place where I'm just like this is Maybe it's
because there's no horses and there's you know, I really,
I really do. I love I love the beach and
I love horses. I love that I love those are
the two lives.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
I really yes, we love that so much. And you know, Kelly,
we are going to be you know, just on this
journey with you. We're excited for twenty twenty five. You've
put out the intentions and you know, stay tuned for
a Yellowstone Part two.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
I'm just having so much fun.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Was telling my kids over the weekend, like it's just
so nice to be in an environment or like I
feel safe, Like I feel safe to communicate, I feel
safe to tell you like how I'm why I'm so
deeply like I'm scarred. I have total PTSD from my
experience is like on Housewives, complete and utter, very very
(35:15):
serious PTSD one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Well, you're doing all the work, and.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
I just feel so good now.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Just being able to communicate and to be able to
to just be myself and you know, I'm super flawed,
and you know what, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
I don't have to be like a.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Men's sister, you know, and someone's gonna love all the parts.
Like I have so many flaws, and I've seen such
a weird past and not weird past, but a hard past,
and like he loves every piece of it, you know.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
So, by the way, I'm a ass singer. You were amazing.
I was like, oh my gosh, I know her.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
I'm so sweet, thank you, all right, I love you. Kelly. Well,
Kelly is the best, and it was so great catching
up with her, and it's really truly amazing to see
how far she's come since that first episode we taped
a few months ago, just coming off the heels of
that broken engagement, and just you know, I just I
feel like she's just happier and stronger, and it's just
(36:14):
really been great to watch her along this journey. Listen to.
This podcast is all about you, guys, the listeners, who
have also had difficult times with finding love, and we
want to hear from you and give you advice. So
call us or email us, follow us on socials. All
the information will be in the show notes. Make sure
to rate and review the podcast. I Do Part two,
an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.
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