Valentine's Day Special!

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hell I Suck a Dating with Denglert and Jared Haven,
and I heard radio podcast. Hey, welcome to Help I
Second Dating. Everybody. My name is Jared Haven. I'm joined
not in studio, but in a house with Dean Unglert,
who's looking ravish right now. Uh. We have Tori joining

(00:21):
us right now as well. We're recording live from Lake Tahoe.
In Where are we is Tahoe and Cali or Nevada.
We're currently in California, but it's California. Okay, sorry, we
flew into Reno. We were in Nevada. Now we drove
to Lake Tahoe, which is in California and recording an
episode of Help I Second Dating on Valentine's Day, which
of course is a very special podcast. Why is that, Dean?

(00:42):
Uhcause it's because it's the biggest day about relationships with
the biggest podcast about relationship. Bowl relationships, super Bowl relationship, bro.
It's a great way to put it, guys. Uh, yeah,
we're happy to be here. A little squeak there, Dean
just reversed age by ten years. It's the super Bowl

(01:03):
of dating. I'm really nervous about this. Well, it's your
super Bowl for dating. You have a Valentine this year? Yeah,
it was the last time you had a Valentine. I
mean so last year. I went on a first day
on Valentine's Day. It's pretty interesting you went on a
first day Valentine's It was a little pressure or like,
there's obviously a lot of pressure around it. Can we
start from the beginning? How did you meet the girl?
Did you sign a d M? All that just and

(01:24):
then how you selected Valentine's Day to be the meet up.
Don't feel like it's weird to talk about past relationships
now that you're in a relationship. That's kind of how
I feel about it is weird, but you get comfortable
with it. It's within the confines of this because you're
talking as a story. I d M her I was
going on a trip. I don't want to do that.

(01:45):
I would like to know for tips. Um I'll tell
you it was just it was some stupid thing. Anyways,
we we had talked for maybe a few weeks beforehand.
Do we know this person? And I was supposed to
go to Japan for three weeks and we know this
first time? I please finish the store. No, I want
don't know if we know this person. I don't think
you don't cry you're so cranky, right, I don't know
if you you could, you could, I don't know who

(02:06):
you definitely, I don't know the whole contact book other
people that. Okay, so you d MR. We probably know
where you were going to Japan. Continue. And the only
day that both of us were free to meet up
before I left your Japan, which is on February fifte
or sixteenth, was Valentine's Day. And so I was like,
you know what, I think we should hang out before
I go to Japan. And she's thought the same thing.
And so we met up and yeah, it's good. What
made you want a d m R? I just thought

(02:27):
I thought she was pretty. I think I know who
this person is. I will not say it, but I
have a pretty blunder band. No, come on, I don't know. Anyways,
have you guys ever done what's the weirdest thing you
guys have ever done on Valentine's Day? If if, if
my guess is correct, she's a blonde, But what does dance?
What's the weirdest guys ever done on Valentine's Day? Hold on,
I want to hear about what was the first date, Like,
you went on a first date, how did you even

(02:48):
find a reservation? We went to just some random bar
in l a and paid arcade games. So it wasn't
like a dinner day. It was more of like a cash,
grab a beer, play some games day. Yeah that was great, so,
which is what I always encourage people to do on
first dates. Anyways. It's like, that's how you really get
to know someone is you have a couple of drinks.
You got to like see them in an arcade environment

(03:08):
where it's like, oh, looka like if they like their
own games, it's game over at that point, you know.
But if they're if they're playing ski ball, they're loving it,
that's great. If they like pinball, probably not. It's not
gonna end well, right, it's not gonna be it's not
gonna end well. So pinball is the one with the
two sides, a little pull in, a little morble. That
guy could come up right behind you just slightly put
his hands on your hands, right. The romances there, But

(03:31):
I'm just saying that the actual game itself is just
horribly boring. Anyways, Yeah, it was a good day. We'll
have a couple of questions. One would you advocate going
on a first day on Valentine's Day. Um, you're right,
because there was like an undo amount of pressure, that's
the question. But you're right to ask that question because
there was like an undo amount of pressure just because
it was Valentine's Day, like almost like there was an
expectation for things to carry on afterwards, which is fine. Um,

(03:54):
I don't I kind of think that you feel the
same way. I don't know, we can get into it later,
but I don't think that Valentine's Day is the most
important day, and like it doesn't mean much to me,
you know what I mean? Neither. Um. But it's funny
because you always give me crap about how a girl
could misunderstand the things that I'm saying get excited about it.
I think that a guy not taking Valentine's Day seriously, um,
and then a guy taking a girl out on Valentine's

(04:16):
Day is doing exactly that. It's like if you take
a girl out on Valentine's Dy, but you're like the
entire time, you're like, like, I don't Valentine's Day doesn't
mean anything to me. That they could just in their
head and be like, oh well, he still took me
on Valentine's Day, you know what I mean? Yeah, I
could see that. I'd listen, if a guy takes you out,
if anybody takes you out on a date on Valentine's Day,
you were already probably assumed that they're being very serious
about it. Right Valentine's Day, Right, they're choosing to spend

(04:37):
it with you, even if it's the first date. The
fact that the fact that I got a date on
Valentine's Day, it was like reassuring because I was like, oh,
she that means like she's fully single, you know what
I mean, Like, if you're going on a first day
on Valentine's Day with someone, that means that they're probably
not talking anyone else else, which is really like refreshing,
because you know, you don't want to be one of
five guys that this girl is talking to, and vice versa.

(04:57):
For her, I'm sure it was the same, like she
doesn't want to be one of five girls that me
or this guy is talking to. So that's like a
that's like a nice perk, a pro if you will
of dating someone or going on the first day on
Valentine's So when was the last time you were in
a relationship for Valentine's Day. I think two years ago.
I think Leslie and I were dating for Valentine's Day's right,
I forgot about that sky diving. Wow, what are you
doing with Kalen this shirt? You haven't you? You guys

(05:19):
haven't changed. Kiss. Well, we're in Tahoe with my great friends.
That's what we're doing for Valentine's Day's pretty good. That's
like an old married couples Valentine's Day. I feel like
I feel like I had a So this morning I
got Ashley flowers and chocolates and got it for before
she woke up, so she woke up to it. And
then I wrote her a note this is here and no,
this is in California before we left for the airport.
But she has yet to read the note because we

(05:40):
woke up late or she woke up late and uh,
we had to rush to the airport. So yeah, and
I wrote like a little letter for I always write
poems for. So they're rhyming. I'm a great rhymer. What
kind of rhyme scheme do you typically go with? A
B B A B A B. I don't really go
as long as the words rhyme. I'm good with it.
So the last word of each sentence, I'm a very
likea what's that like? The what pia does? Anybody we're

(06:10):
talking about? Was this poem you wrote? Was it romantic?
Was it funny? Of course it's saying it's it's both.
Like one of the lines, uh uh, I'll tell you
one of the lines right now. It says, uh, my
heart is a lock and you have the key. I
love you so much. I love you more than Tom Brady.
That's funny, right, So it's loving and yet that's a

(06:33):
spoiler alert for Ashley. Hopefully she didn't hear doesn't listen
to this, She hasn't read. She definitely doesn't listen to it.
That's all right. When you really want to hear her
husband talk about dating you want? It's really funny similarity
that I can draw with that is in paradise. I
wrote Calin poems for her birthday, just at randomly, I
writer poems. And then right after that, yeah, but then
you came back. But the poems, the poems are the
most important to here. Let me ask you this because

(06:55):
as a guy, I was actually talking to another guy,
and as a human being, you only have so many
tricks up her sleeve, you know what I mean, like
so many things you feel confidently. So have you written
poems or letters for other people in the past? I
want a poetry competition in high school? Okay, I meant
like in a significant loving um no, But I do
think that those, even if it's a horrible poem, I

(07:15):
think those are more meaningful than like the grandiose like
expensive dinner, you know, all that kind of stuff, like
like she's gonna read that and she's gonna be touched
by Ashley is going to read that and be touched
by it and laugh at it and feel more connected
to you through that than she would if you were,
if you know, you were to go like some extravagant
date night count I think the flawful ones are won't better.
I have a question, but we have answers. Do you

(07:36):
guys feel weird ever buying your girls now? Roses? I
would never buy, like do you go for daisies instead
of a rose? I think even before Bachelor, I was
always an anti rose guy. I don't buy her red
roses now because each color has a different meaning. Yeah,
yellow means friendship, So would you buy her yellow. Um,

(07:57):
she's my best friend one. But secondly, no, I bought
her orange, which I think is passionate or I think
that's like look it up orange orange. I think oranges.
I like the the white pink ones very pretty. I
think those are like cute, that's what they defined. That's
cute anyway. So that's all you guys are doing. Well.
Obviously we're kind of spending the whole day Intah together. Yeah,

(08:19):
and then we'll actually and I will get a dinner
next week to kind of have like a romantic time nice. So, um,
it is passionate romance. Okay, very well done. That's a
good one. Now here's my question though, because, like I said,
I was actually talking to a buddy about this, and
as a guy, when you're in relationships, like I said,
just throughout your dating history, even as a girl, you

(08:40):
have certain tricks that you do, write certain things that
you feel confident in doing. So my question is, say
you like write like write letters or write poems like
for example, if I wrote a poem or a letter
for a significant other in the past, should I feel
guilty in any way doing that? For Ashley? Now, should
I feel guilty towards as I see what you're saying,

(09:00):
like you're recycling your old because like she could easily
look at me and be like you used to do
that for someone else, Like yes, but like it's I
do different things too, but of course I'm going to
do some similar things. There's only so many things I
can do. So my question, I think it's weird. I
don't think. I think. I think you're very right about
if you're If you're good at something and you feel

(09:21):
comfortable doing it, and you know what makes the other
person feel special, there's no reason not to continue to
do it with new people later on. Weirdly, I would
hate it. Why I'd be like, pick up a new
pat like little uh little talent, sing me songs, but
don't give me a poem. If you've given poems to
girls in the past, trust me, if you heard me sing,
you would not want me singing when you're in love.

(09:44):
Anything's cute. Victorias sock puppet of herself and then make
another sock puppet of you and then do a sock
puppet show. I would love that. That would be different
than a poem. If you written love poems for girls
in the past and then for me, I would not
like that. Well, here's the question. If you didn't know it,
you know, as I guess then when I found out,
so like for your own exactly, so you would be pissed.

(10:07):
I wouldn't like it. But here's the thing, like what
if the new thing that I do or the new
gift doesn't level up to that old thing where she's
like that poem was like the idea of writing new
letter is so much better than what you do now,
you know what I mean here in my discarded tonail clippings,
Like what if those are the two things that are
comparing here or like you said, a sock puppet. I
actually you don't like like just the tonails. It's funny.

(10:33):
It's funny that you bring that up because Alex b
who's my friend, he had the same thing. He was
dating a girl who like wrote something about it and
put it on Instagram and he was like, whoaa, don't
be sharing that because like that's the thing that I do, Like,
that's my thing that I do with the girl that
I'm interested in. And by doing that, it's like then
she's like then telling the world you know she did.
It wasn't like she wasn't vidictive in doing it. But

(10:55):
she was like, this is what he did for me,
and this is how pleasant it was. And he's like, well,
this is what I do with everyone. Now you're kind
of like taking that away from everyone else. Let me
tell let me give you an example. So you want
to justify yourself, go for it. I don't think I'm
justifying myself at all. Actually, I think I'm digging my
own grave right now. But I'm doing it for suck.
Army suck, suck, suck, sucks, suck, suck, suck, everybody suck.

(11:16):
Okay uh. On Bachelorette, I wrote a poem for Caitlin
and they aired it. Did you mention the word love
in that poem? No? I ended it with a dumb
and dumber quote, which was I said, you know, at
the end of this, I'm gonna cross all my teas
and and all my eyes with the dot and I

(11:36):
just wanted to tell you, Caitlin, I like you. I
like you a lot, a lot, and so like whatever, right,
I mean, at the moment, it was just like, that's
what I do, you know. I like expressing, expressing myself
that way so hard exactly right. There's a part of
me even when I do this, for actually like I
feel guilty, and I'm like, I shouldn't feel guilty like

(11:56):
that was in the past. This is the now, right,
and obviously you're married Actuley Sait's different. But I just
can't get out of my head that i'd be a
little irritated. I think I see both sides of it.
I think for me in my relationship, I don't think
it's hard for me to think back and think that
I've done anything now that I used to do another relationships,
probably because I just never did anything in relationship before.

(12:18):
So it's like everything I'm doing now is brand new,
you know what I mean. That's hop out of a
boyfriend I used to be. That's that's the point that
I was trying to make used to be. I was
paused for laughter that I did not receive. Used well,
he said used to because he's he's a husband now
now he's married, which is what I something I wanted
to ask about you to had a question, Tori had
to everybody's silent, Nope, just me and you, buddy. Uh.

(12:39):
My question is there was articles coming out that I
was reading that said Klin said you proposed over in Europe,
please enlighten us question no that the articles quote unquote
was an Elite Daily article. Can get the exact quote
that referenced a comment that Calin responded to on her

(13:00):
most recent Instagram picture, which has since been deleted by
the original poster because people were attacking the poster. I
don't know, it was kind of silly. Anyways. She was like,
she was responding to a comment and I just took
her phone and I just wrote, he already proposed, he
already did. Oh so you wrote it. Yes, I wrote
this stupid comment. And I handed her the phone before

(13:21):
I pressed the post button, and she was like, yeah, whatever,
this is funny, and then she posted it so that
tapping noise you was tor tapping on Dean's apparent wedding
band that he's wearing. Tan you, guys, I might quit
this podcast if it's a continuation of teaming up on me.
So you see, I like this. This is why I
need you as a third host. It needs to be
Dean so good with his words and so charming. I

(13:44):
need because I had a teammate to on one literally
Texas Danielle, and I said, can you please bring up food?
I think Dean's a little angry right now. Oh my god,
you're cranky. Love. We're all here to just learn you're
not gonna wear rings. If you're gonna wear rings, and
you've got to kind of address I've done a lot
of driving in the past couple of days. Okay, I'm
a little tired. Who wrote the comment already? More moist? Pardon?

(14:09):
So you're the one who wrote the comment. He already posed.
The comment was he needs to propose already, and Calin responded,
he already did, and I wrote the comment he already did.
Hand keel on the phone and she pressed the post button.
I guess my question is, would Calin say you proposed?
My question is, how's my question? The Elite Daily write
an article about a comment that was responded like, it's

(14:29):
just you're grasping at straws there, you know what I mean.
It's a great picture of you two on the Elite Day.
I hate that picture too. I look, I'm a hunchback
of Notre damn. My hair like cuts off my shoulder,
my buff shoulders too much in it, your shoulders rhythm. Look,
how do you feel when people are saying, oh, they're married,
they're married? How when you first initially saw that or

(14:51):
you egg that on, do you kind of like that
he loves it. He let's see because he's been anti marriage,
but you kind of like seeing headlines saying marriage with
Dean and Kaylyn. I'll call kayl and my wife sometimes,
like if I if I make a reservation at a restaurant,
be like, yeah, me and my wife are going to
come in around eight, or we were at the hotel

(15:11):
or night. I was like, Hey, can me and my
wife get room service? Oh my god, are you married
any Jared? Did you just hear that? No? Sorry, I gotta,
I gotta, I gotta important text message. That's why. Sorry,
he just said he refers to ye. That was as
his wife at I heard that the hotel reservation with dinners.
Are you That's different though, because if you did you

(15:33):
ever call Ashley her your No. But I remember before
we before we even got engaged, there be times we'd
have hotels and they'd call and they'd be like, oh,
Mr Kennetti, we are not downplaying this. We're not downplaying this.
He's initiating the conversation by saying, my wife, it's not
being miss misunderstand. Sometimes you get like special privileges. When
you say that stuff, though, have you ever used it
to gain a special privilege? No, I just think it's

(15:53):
fun to say. I don't. I'm not gonna say whether
we're married or not. I'm going to keep a little
bit of my personal person this as your friend, as
as someone like yourself who doesn't believe in the institution
to marriage, and someone like Calin who probably does. I wouldn't.
I wouldn't say it's fun calling you my wife, but
then also be like, I never want to get married.
You know, we got a good we got a good

(16:14):
thing going on over here. I'm not I'm not too
worried about it. Please have Calin on this podcast. Absolutely not.
We need to hear her perspective on things. Um, if
you want to hear what needs to happen, what needs
to happen over you already married? What's yours is mine?
The mine is yours podcast. I don't want to mix
business and pleasure. I have a lot of fun doing this,

(16:35):
and I don't want to mix that business with this.
What about our pleasure? We mixed business and pleasure all
the time being I'm saying this is the pleasure, she's
the business. Okay, that makes another joke that I feel
like my jokes. Okay, now it's one of those jokes
that it took me a second like, Okay, no, that's funny. Okay,
I get that now, but yes, that's not gonna happen. Ever,
I'm sorry. It's all right. Well, I guess we'll move
on from this conversation. We do have some incredible guests

(16:56):
calling in. Uh. We have some licensed therapist, we of
an app creator called uh Relationship AI, and we have
some Bachelor Nation members. They're gonna stop by. We've got
some of your favorite Bachelor Nation uh uh contestants in
the house with us here in Tahoe. They're gonna swing by,
give us their take on what Valentine's Day means to them,

(17:17):
what they're gonna do for their significant other, etcetera, etcetera.
You're not gonna want to miss that. To stick around
and we will be right back. Welcome back to help
I suck at dating live from Tahoe. We have very
special guests. That is on the line right now. She

(17:38):
has been seen on dr oz, HLN, Fox, ABC, NBC, ABC, Cosmos,
Holton Post, Washington Post, Today, Bravo. Just to name a few.
She's also a leading celebrity matchmaker, relationship expert and CEO
of Exclusive Matchmaking. It is Susan Trumpetty, Ladies and gentlemen.
Was that? How is that? Yeah? Sorry, we're just introduction.

(18:03):
You know, I just tried to build people up, but
it's really not that hard to build you up, Susan.
You have a pretty extensive resume. So thank you for
coming back on the podcast. Oh I'm so excited to
be here. You know, I love talking to you. Guys.
Know you're actually in a car right now. You're not driving,
but you have a funny Valentine's Day because today is
Valentine's Day. Uh, you have a little funny Valentine's Day story.
Your car actually broke down on your way back to

(18:24):
your home. Yes, something happened. I just came back, um
from the airport, and to make a long story short,
I had I realized, you know, because I'm not one
of those women. I realized I have no oil in
my car. I can hear my rod knocking, so I
had to call my Valentine's and he came to pick
me up. That sounds like a like a modern dating term.
Have you been Rod knocked. My rod's been knocking me

(18:46):
all week. Yeah, but you're you're beautiful and wonderful. Hobby
picked you up right, Yes, my told Arken Hansel, He's
like right here with me. He picked me up and
so then I kissed him really quick, and I said, baby,
it's my rod. It's so little wingnu on. Your rod
came to pick you up after the other rod wasn't working. Yeah,

(19:06):
it's like, let's go home enjoy Valentine's Day. We can
worry about that later. Susan So. Okay, So, as a
celebrity matchmaker, what type of advice do you have for
your clients on a day like Valentine's Day? Okay? So
I always say, like, whether you're single or whether you're
with someone else, right with your with someone else, you
have to acknowledge it. Um, being single and Valentine's Day

(19:27):
is great for business for me. But don't you know,
at the end of the day, it's just another day, right,
So don't go off the deep end if you're single,
I mean, have fun, acknowledge it. There's lots of love
all around you, whether it's romantic love or it's love
with your your gal pals, or you know, little kids
all around you, but it's an exciting day to flirt

(19:49):
and have fun. Right, So you see an increase in
clientele around this time of year because people are either
trying to find a Valentine's Day. Say it's Valentine's Day
and they're single. Do they reach out to you or
is it just like do you do with that? Do
you just basically, like you said, just tell everyone to
just treat it as another day. Let's say someone's like,
let's put you Let's give you an example. Let's say
someone's freshly in a relationship that maybe you set them
up on. Do they come to you it for advice

(20:10):
and then you kind of tell them what they should
be doing for Valentine's Day? Yeah? Yes, So I'll give
you an example. Okay, So I had clients that went
out on a date last night with a new woman
and a new match and he for whatever reason, okay,
but I think it has something to do with he
doesn't want to seem like it's desperate. He's desperate and
it's Valentine's Day. She because oh my god, he must
not be interested. I didn't hear back from him, so

(20:32):
you know, I'm rushing down the road in the car. Okay,
I hope no police were listening to this. So I
pull over and I say, look, it's Valentine's Day. She's
a dynamo. She's your match, even if you don't know
it yet. You need to text her now. And he goes, okay,
and I should ask her out, And I'm like, absolutely,
and you ask her out. So you have to acknowledge it.
That's the first thing. And that's what I tell my clients, like,
don't let that go by. And then as far as protocol,

(20:55):
do they get flowers, chocolates? Do they take them to
a nice restaurant? Like what is kind of the advice
that you typically like to give out to these types
of people that are either starting a new relationship or
hoping to start new relationship. Well, so I always say
acknowledge it. Okay, So if you're starting a relationship, there's
always like appropriate gifts for each point in time in
a relationship. So when it comes down to um, when

(21:16):
it comes down to like a new relationship and you
go out on a date with them, I mean, you
don't need to show up with a dozen roses, right,
but you can show up with something appropriate, something fun,
like those little kitty Valentine's cards, you remember them, And
I mean you can show up with that a box
of chocolates if you're only dating two or three months.
I mean, you know, perfume is always nice. If you're
dating six months, a little heart necklace. So you've got

(21:37):
to find the appropriate gift for the stage in your relationship.
So you're saying it all comes down to timing. Yeah, yeah,
And I mean, like in this case, this guy, you know,
it's too much pressure to go out on a date
on Valentine's They just met for the first time last night, right,
but yeah, definitely you need to acknowledge it. You met her,
you know, make make a phone call to ur whatever,

(21:58):
and I told me the text or in this case
because us, you know, everybody texts after a day and
said I had a great time, but I asked her
out again. Yeah. I would definitely not say you should
go on a first date on Valentine's Day. Too much,
too much pressure. If you're single, though, don't you just
want to hang out with your friends on Valentine's Day?
I don't think so. Really you don't want your susan Well, well, listen,

(22:18):
listen if you're single. It depends like, are you going
out with your girlfriends and having a great time And
there's nothing wrong with that, right, like going out in
Holland and having a great time and flirt with everybody
that passes your way, Right, Susan, what are you getting into?
So I just pulled in from New York, right, So
we're going to have a dinner. Okay, We're having a chef,

(22:41):
come in, light some candles, okay, and just you know,
we're just gonna enjoy because I tell you something, So
my day started off early with my husband because my
husband first called me. Always tell people this on Valentine's
Day and he was totally unaware. So anyway, so we
celebrate it. I can't even tell you half of what
we said today to each other, but it's been flirty

(23:01):
all day. Has been married, Oh so we've been married
fifteen years, we've been together twenty years, Okay, and it's spicy,
keeping it hot all day long with the emojis and flirtation.
And that's what was what emojis did you send him?
What was lot emoji sent him? Come on, give us
a hint. Is it purple, Susan? It sounds like we

(23:23):
gotta give you and your husband some space here. So
thank you so much for calling on the podcast and
giving our listeners some advice for Valentine's Day. It sounds
like you've got a fantastic night a heavy Thank you
so much, Susan, take care of happy Valentine's take, guys.
Nice talking to you. If for the listeners out there,
if you guys want to find Susan, you can check
her out on Twitter because she does live tweet, Bachelor

(23:44):
posts episode and all that kind of stuff. She does
have a website it's called Exclusive Matchmaking dot Net, so
be sure to go on and check that out and
see if she can help you out get matched and
find the Valentine's for next year. Since starting to it
for this year, Bachelor Live tweeter always a good follow
Take care of guys. Thank you. Well, sorry I didn't
know Susan was still Alie. All right, and we are

(24:13):
back and now we have Jamie Bronstein and Jamie I'm
sorry if I mispronounced the last name there. But for
the listeners out there, Jamie is a talk radio host
Love Talk Live. She has a licensed therapist relationship expert,
so she is the woman to have on the phone
for us today for our Valentine's Day episode, Jamie, how
are you? I'm doing? Wow? How are you guys? We're good.

(24:34):
Thank you so much for calling us. Obviously, we have
a special episode dating podcast. It's the biggest dating day
of the year, Valentine's Day. Help by second, Dating goes
together like like peanut butter and pickles. Peanut butter and pickles. Baby. So, Jamie,
So we're just gonna fire some questions at you. So
being a love X, I'm gonna go ahead and label
you as a love expert. Okay, can you give our

(24:55):
listeners because we have listeners that are single, listeners that
are just starting in a relationship, listeners that have been
in a relationship for years, decades, however long. What type
of advice would you have for anyone out there the
different stages of gifts to give their partner, Like, let's
say you've been dating zero to six months, seven to
twelve months, what kind of gifts do you like to
see people give each other for Valentine's Day? Okay, zero

(25:19):
to six I would say go with something that you're
giving the message that you definitely are interested in the person.
Um and depending at the stage you're add like some
people get engaged within six months, you know, but definitely
keep it light but with a meaningful message. So you
can do jewelry. There's nothing wrong with jewelry. Um. And

(25:41):
also the cards. I'm huge, huge fan of what you
write in the cards. So right, everything that you feel
that you're feeling, you know, don't hold anything back. So
i'd say good cards and jewelry is a good thing
for zero sex. I have, I have a question, so
I would I'm gonna go out on a limb here
and say that our listener base is predominantly female. So

(26:01):
as a female that's maybe interested in a in a
guy that's going on a date for Valentine's Day, what
do you like to see the women by the men? If?
Or if nothing at all? So I think it's really
important that you know, equal. We live in an equal world.
So yeah, so girls do something cute like get a
couple's massage. You can't even do it together, you know,

(26:24):
So do a couple's massage. Or I used to like
when I was saying, I used to always love like
surprising the guys. So do you like say I'm going
to take you out in date, I'm planning the whole
thing because a lot of times the guys planned the date.
So either like a surprise or even like a staycation
somewhere go to the beach if you live somewhere warm,

(26:45):
or just do something really romantic that involves both of you.
A lot of times girls can do like sexy lingerie
because that's the gift for both. That's a gift that
keeps on giving. Yeah, like a gift for yourself. But
then also the guy likes it. Yeah, and then maybe
next years Valentine's you can you can say it's a
different guy, you could you know, Yeah, you can reuse it.

(27:07):
I do not recommend it if it's different to him. Um,
you said you're you said you're not single anymore, right,
but there is there is a big movement for Singles
Awareness Day. So what do you say for people that
are maybe experiencing the Valentine's blues that don't have a partner,
that want to celebrate their singleness. Do you have any
advice for them? Yes, just live it up, you know what, Like,

(27:29):
just be present and enjoy the moment because you're going
to find your person at some point, and by being
sad about it. It's it's kind of a waste of time,
you know, so eventually you're gonna meet your person. So
just live it up, go out with your friends, and
also think about it. The guys and the girls that
were at the singles bar the week before, they're still

(27:50):
going to be there. They're still single, and especially on
Valentine's Day, everybody's looking to hook up and maybe something more. Yeah,
distract themselves a little bit, you know. And this year specifically,
I feel like, uh, the planets have aligned because it's
Valentine's Day on a Friday, exactly. I mean, it's so

(28:10):
anybody who's listening, who's sad? Okay, unless your soul, feel
your emotions, feel the sadness. But then take a shower,
put the makeup on. If you're a guy, don't put
makeum on, but just you know, get yourself, put some
cologne on, put some air force ones. I think that
we should just get rid of Valentine's Day. I'm over
Valentine's Day. This is coming from a married man. I

(28:31):
don't think we should celebrate being single. I don't think
we should celebrate being a relationship. Every day should be
just a celebration or whatever you have. You know, I
just Valentine's Day. There's so much pressure and you gotta
buy gifts and you spend money, and it's all this ridiculousness.
What are your thoughts about that? Do you? What? Do you?
What are your overall thoughts about Valentine's Day in general? Okay,

(28:51):
First of all, my name ji Ami means I love
in French, so jam jamie, so I love love and
I love. Yes. I agree with you that every day
we should be appreciating who we're with. We should be
appreciating who we're dating. We should be appreciating the fact
that we will meet somebody someday. Um. And yes, I

(29:12):
understand it's a hallmark holiday, but it is like a
great excuse. Let's say you haven't gone on a date
in a while. It's an excuse to reconnect. So I
totally understand what you're saying. But I'm a big fan
of Valentine's Day. Interesting. I don't know if you should
need an excuse to reconnect. I think like every few months,
if you find yourself not reconnecting, you need to realize
we need to connect exactly. It could be a problem.

(29:34):
I always recommend to my clients who who are in
relationships and even just starting to date. Make sure that
you're going on a date at least three nights a week. Well,
that's what I mean, Like, if somebody needs a reminder
wanting here to reconnect, I think you have some bigger issues.
I agree that makes sense, and I do agree, But
there are like married people and then they have the
kids and then it's you don't have totally right. Well, Jamie,

(29:59):
thank you so much you're joining us. I'm sure you've
got your hands full of today, of all days of
the year. Given the fact that you are a love
guru for the listeners out there, be sure to check
her out on Love Talk Live on l A Talk Radio. Um, Jamie,
thanks so much for joining us and best of luck
with thanks for having me. Happy Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day,
what do we think so you want to just abolish
Valentine's Day altogether? It sounds like see, I feel like

(30:20):
Valentine's Day has turned into the opposite. No, it's no
longer about celebrating your partner now. I feel like Valentine's
Day is a holiday for singles to just feel bad
about themselves. So instead of of this day where if
you're single, you just feel worse about yourself. Why not
just get rid of the holiday so everybody is still
happy in a relationship and you don't have to focus

(30:43):
one day out of the year solely about either you're
in a relationship or you're not, because, like, it's different
from other holidays because Christmas is about family, Thanksgivings about family,
so on and so forth, where Valentine's Day is solely
only about intimacy love. So just get rid of it
because it's just like, like I've paid a hundred dollars
for flowers today. You know you actually paid a hundred

(31:04):
dollars for flowers, well close to it. Still it's very expensive. Listen,
I'm just gonna say this. I think Valentine's Day is
incredibly important because, like I said earlier, it validates your
love for the other person, and the only way you
can do that is by buying them expensive things, especially
on inflated days of the year where that seventy dollar
bouquet flowers probably would have cost fifteen dollars. And the

(31:24):
other day of the year. You're really bad at being trarian,
You're you're you're proving my own point. I think it's great.
I think you can put a fiscal number. Uh, you
can quantify the value that someone has in your life
by how much money you spend on them on the day.
Would you get absolutely nothing? What'd she get you anything?
She has actually did get her something, but it's waiting
for us back in Los Angeles. Shout out to Tahoe

(31:46):
because we're recording live from here in the beautiful North
Lake Tahoe. Is she got me something also back in
Los Angeles, so neither of us know what we got
each other. But you'll exchange gifts later. You guys did
the same to the Christmas. You exchange gifts way in
the way after. We're not really good timeliness. That's okay. Anyways,
we have another guest coming on, Karina Carston, who has
a new interesting app called Relationship Ai, which apparently is

(32:09):
going to help us begin dating smarter, which I'm interested
to hear more about. And obviously she's probably got some
It's crazy how much dating stuff is out there nowadays.
This dating podcast, we have a million dating talk shows,
dating apps. From someone hosting a dating podcast. I probably
shouldn't say this, but I feel like it's too much

(32:29):
because now we're getting into the stage where we're overthinking
dating and it never was meant to be overthought. You know,
you go, if you like someone, you continue seeing them,
and then you fall in love, or you don't fall
in love and then the relationship ends. But now it's
this constant like well he said in a text this,
and but did he really mean that? Am I overthinking it?

(32:51):
I have to wait to respond? Or now we're getting
all these dates like literally how many dating terms have
been formed within the past two years, like benching, bread crumbing, ghosting,
all these things, and it's like, maybe we're all just
overthinking it a little too much. I agree. But while
you're overthinking it, you might as well listen to this
podcast and just zone out, because we don't think much
when we're on here. Now we're just too idiots, few

(33:13):
nonsense and taho over here. Anyways, we're gonna give Karina
call and see if you can get it on the
line here. Welcome back, suck Army. We have another special
guest on the line right now. She has her brand
new dating app, Relationship AI, which you can download today.

(33:37):
It is Karina Carston Latest and Karina, thank you so
much for joining us on the podcast. Thank you so
much for having me. Have you heard that that pounding
sound in the background, That was apause sumping his thigh
for a ruckets applause Introducing you, Karina wasled the mic.
On one hand, it's very difficulty now we're not in studios,
so we can't get really have around of applause. But Karina,
how is your Valentine's Day going so far? It's amazing.

(34:00):
I'm actually up in Santa Barbara and it's a gorgeous
day and just loving, loving life here with my husband.
So tell us about your dating app relationship AI. So,
just like tracking your steps or your calories, it's now
time to track and evaluate our dating activity. Okay, we

(34:22):
need to hear more about this. Sounds intriguing, so okay. So,
and for the listeners out there, if you were to
go to the app store, you can look up relationship AI.
And I'm just gonna give a brief description of what
I see. It looks like I see a lot of
people that I'm dating, and then as I'm dating them,
I rate them right. Every text, call, in person, meeting,
hang out, sleep over, you can plug in and evaluate

(34:47):
and that will give you your own personal metrics and
data to really see how well things are going. I mean,
we're for you, we're moving towards the data driven life,
So I don't you why not? Why can't we move
our dating towards it? Can you give us an example
of how data would trans you know, how we would
able to know if we're a better data data by

(35:10):
getting data on it. Well, often are short sided. EGO
perceives our dating activity in a certain way, and that's
just based on our you know, experiences, and and that
can be limited. So what this does, what relationship AI does,
is give you the bigger picture on what is really occurring,

(35:35):
and so you get clarity, you get confidence, and you
get to effectively and efficiently move forward in your dating
life so that you can create the relationship outcomes that
you truly want. I think it's incredibly interesting. And the
way that I see the app is, let's say you
go on a date with a guy named Dan, you
get done, you get home from your date, and then

(35:55):
you basically fill out the sliders like was the communication easy?
How comfortable were we talking about your career? And right
you're you're basically feeling that in lifetime After the day
and then exactly. Let's say you have a couple of
dates a week. At the end of the week, you
can see which date because like, I guess it's easy.
I'm sorry, it's difficult to look back in hindsight and
be like, I remember exactly how I was feeling right

(36:15):
after that date. But you kind of have like an overbroad, overarching,
broad idea. So this allows you to quantitatively be like, Okay,
this is the person that I had a better time
with immediately following the date. Right, you get fuzzy, you
get super fuzzy, and then those things that were red flags,
like in the moment you like go oh, I'm gonna
let that slide. And and this allows you to actually

(36:37):
input your red flags and like, see what is really happening?
And I think, what we we've done this for business
for decades now, but we have never applied data and
metrics to our personal lives. So we can actually make
better decisions and and feel really empowered about it and
have fun fun. I gotta tell you it's crazy, but

(36:59):
it might just be crazy enough to work. Well. I
can I be a contrarian just because it absolutely human
beings evoke emotion, right and we make a lot of
decisions based on emotion, yes, and so this seems a
little bit more analytical. Do you think that is the
smart way to approach dating, more analytical rather than emotion based. Well,

(37:23):
you certainly can have all the emotions you want in
the moment, but then but then at at the time
of evaluation, you can actually go okay, like were those
emotions valid? Like did I really have a super high
response to this person? You know, you can actually put
in like an emoji for exactly how you felt, like

(37:44):
you have the instant feeling, and then you can break
it down and go deeper and say, oh, well, like
I really didn't feel that comfortable, you know, in this
particular in our communication, but I felt really comfortable with
the affection. So it's like giving you, you like, a
particular detail to actually evaluate your own emotions. Interesting. I

(38:08):
think it's interesting. It's something I never would have thought of,
But honestly, I can see the I can see the
utility in it. Well, it's something I definitely I would
try out just to see what it's like. I would
love taste you guys try it out. Well, unfortunately we're
both taken. I guess you could do like a week
by day by day maybe with the same person like

(38:29):
on Monday. Absolutely can Yeah, okay, just with one person exactly,
So we can do this even though we're both in relationships.
Totally have your mates try it. There you go, and
for the listeners out there. So let's say you're going
on Valentine's Day date, you could always download relationship AI
and be sure to log your date with the person
that you went on a date with and see how

(38:49):
he stacks up against the other people, or he or
she stacks up against the other people you do. I
don't want to give Ashley any any data on my
dating performance. I will say what she can come up
to and be like, you cuddled with me at the
time of the first six months of dating, and now
you're cuddling with me at a rate This is ridiculous.
This is not why I married you. I I don't
need numbers behind our arguments. Well, what it actually does

(39:12):
is gives you at platform for conversation that's super super
interesting and growth oriented. So you actually can instead of
like waiting for like a year and a half two
things get really like, oh god, this is not with
the way it started. You can like actually see where
it's headed. It's like, wait, this is an opportunity for

(39:33):
it has to have a conversation about something that's kind
of a sticking point. I think it's cool, Kareena. I
think it's a great idea. I'm glad that we're exploring
because it's so unique. You know, you see a lot
of dating things out there, and this is the first
time I've ever heard of anything like this, and I
think that's awesome. So for the listeners out there that
want to give Karina's apple try, it's called Relationship AI.
You can find it in the app Store, at least
on my iPhone I saw. I'm sure you could get

(39:54):
it on a droid too. Android is coming out later
this year. Gotcha, Okay, great, So for the listeners out there,
I phone check out Relationship AI and later this year
if you have a droid, you can find it there
as well. Coarina, before you go, just give us one
piece of advice for single people on Valentine's Day and
one piece of advice for somebody in a relationship on
Valentine's Day. Well, for all the singles out there, just

(40:16):
love life today and whether that's with a personal self
care moment do that, or just go and have some
fun with friends and and also work on some of
those dating apps that you're on, like Swipe, swipe a few,
have a couple of conversation starters, and just have fun,
love life, love it. There we go, Coarena, thank you

(40:39):
so much for joining us. Have a great Valentine's Day
in Santa Barbara, and uh best of luck with the app.
Thank you, thank you. Guys, have a right not yourself
happy Valentine's Happy Valentine's Day. Bye. I like it. I
know you didn't seem to be the biggest fan of it.
I think it's cool. I mean, it's just not I'm
not a data oriented person when it comes to dating. Listen.
I feel like so many decisions that I've made in

(41:01):
the past or based off like gut feelings, my emotions.
Most of the time. When I put data or like
I overthink situations, that's when I make the wrong decision.
I think it's a good way to say organized. Let's
say your dating like two fifteen people at the same time.
It's a good way for you to like Yeah, I'm
sure you have folders within the dating app where you
can put like Dean Jared, Greg Jack, Jim Tom, you know,

(41:24):
like Tori does when she's dating all her seven different guys. Yeah,
so I think it's got a peel. I like it.
I think it's cool. It's again, I like it because
it's so different. It's different, it's so unique, and that
is I will say, it's coming from a different angle
and AI perspective of dating. So it gives you statistics
that is interesting enough. However, I don't think I would
be able to do it because I think I would Again, Well,

(41:46):
what you said earlier in the phone too is a
lot of I think that goes in line with dating
is you can't really quantify a feeling. So it's like
they might not be scoring well on the app, but
you feel good around them, And I think that's like
you can't really calculate that. You know what this reminds
me of all and came, Polly, you ever seen that movie?
I watched it like watching the hospital and I broke
my life. Okay, So Ben Stiller plays a risk analysis

(42:06):
life insurance, life insurance, so that's what he does. He
announced he gives analysts of risk and so that entire
movie is based upon like you can't put numbers for
the relationship because he's dating Jen Aniston. It doesn't work.
He should go back with his ex wife. Yes, but
in his gut tells him to go to Jen. I know,
but it's actually in the movie. I will say the

(42:26):
computer does say that he should be with Jen, and
then he doesn't believe it. I remember that part. No,
I thought the computer said that he should be with
his ex wife. Now, remember he put the numbers in
and the computer was loading on the boat, and then
they later find out that it said. He was like,
something must be wrong because it's saying that I should
go with Jennifer Anderson's character. Anyways, sorry for the spoiler
alert audience. Yeah, sixteen years later if you haven't seen

(42:48):
the movie yet, Sorry about that, guys. Anyways, we're gonna
take one quick break and we're gonna jump right back
into it. We've got some great guests up here in Tahoe,
some good friends. You know who's here. Kalin's here, she
should come on. Anyways, we're gonna take one quick break
and we will have some of those guests, but not
all of them on the podcast. Stick around, all right,

(43:13):
and we are back with one of Bachelor Nation's favorite
couple and on the Valentine's Day episode, it's so fitting
that they're here. Uh, Like we said, we're not going
to share who they are. They're both going to talk.
They're both spoilers. I'm going to tell us about their
Valentine's plans, etcetera, etcetera, And maybe you the listener, can
surmise who they might be. So welcome to the podcast.
Our two mystery guests, two men to female. Welcome to podcast.

(43:37):
Thanks guys, two men too, female. Yeah, but I think
that they'll be able to figure out pretty quickly that
it's a man and a woman. Sometimes I feel like
I sound like a woman or two men. It sounds
like maybe there we go. So for the listeners out there,
it is our Valentine's episode, What do you guys have
planned for this year's Valentine's Because it is your first
Valentine's together, second Valentine's together. That's a clue right there, Yeah,

(43:58):
that's a clue. Second before wright, before we get into
this year's what did you guys do last year for
Valentine's Day? We? What did we? Oh? We celebrated early.
We celebrated early because his friends from the UK came
in on Valentine's Day, so we were with his I
don't want to say any names, but his friends and
family got you nice, okay. And then and then this year,

(44:18):
what do you guys have planned? He almost said your name?
He my mystery man is surprising me tonight with um,
I don't even know with what. Something special. Hopefully it'll
it'll be a pre dinner drinks at a can I
say the name eight eighteen sixty eight and uh. And

(44:43):
then we're going to dinner after that at a place
that I can't tell you because it's surprised. Oh what
a god, that's just so sir. How did you come
up with this idea to take this wonderful woman on
this mystery day? Like where did you get the ideas
to go to these place? Um? Just from living in

(45:03):
the area of the past ten years. And then I
have a good friend that knows all the hot spots
in Reno. Nice. He's best. He's with the Reno Tahoe
Tourism Board. It's good to have a guy on the inside,
you know. So that's why I keep him around. Yeah, yeah, smart,
so miss uh? If I made um, I want to
know if your mystery man is a mushball because he

(45:29):
comes off you are like I can't say your name,
it's so weird, but you're You're a man's man. You
know you you are? You are. I get mush ball vibes.
Well I don't. I get mush ball vibes too, but
like in exterior sense, like I see you outside with
your shirt off, chopping lumber, you know what I mean,
Like like you like to go camping all that kind

(45:49):
of Yeah, you're like you're but you just like you
just seem like the biggest sap mushball, sweetest warmest guy ever. Miss.
I want to know who who the real mystery Man
is he? I would say no, he it when when
he really like feels his feelings deep and lets out

(46:11):
those tears. It's few and far between, but when he does,
it's amazing. But he's very sweet. He's he's I wouldn't
say I'm USh ball in that. He's, you know, very
overly emotional at all, but but he's always very good
at um, always complimenting me and making me feel very
special and showing me love that way. The reason I

(46:34):
asked is because when the mystery Man was describing the
day tonight he had a massive grant how giddy he was.
And you can tell that he's also so giddy because
he's surprising you and it's fun and you like planning.
He we also have been apart for a while because
of work work, so so this is our first time

(46:58):
seeing each other in what like over a week, and
so I like as much as I love being here
with you guys today, I'm ready to get back to
the hotel room with him. I bet he's very excited
to go. Sor I want to hang out with you
guys a little bit longer. But I get it. You
got We're going. He doesn't care as long as Patty's

(47:23):
eyes are closed. I guess should we announce to the
listeners who are well, how about this give us a
clue to each give a clue to the audience of
who you are. I'm going to give a clue for him,
and so I'm going to give him. I'm gonna say
that he if you watched the show, he gave everyone
Dad vibes right away, like Daddy vibes, like Daddy d Dean.

(47:48):
I will say, I mean, he gives he gives your
van a run for its money. That's right. That is right.
I forgot about the van. That's right, that's right, that's right.
And he was the one that caught my I right
away and stayed till the end. And so, mystery man,
can you give a clue about the mystery lady? Oh? Wow? Um?

(48:10):
Who without giving it away? Without giving away? Who is?
Who's the mystery lady? Oh? My no, she said his name.
Damn it. Heather, All right, let's go ahead and pretend
that didn't happen. I still think that Garrett should describe

(48:31):
the mystery. Yeah. I know who the woman is, so uh,
she was engaged and then broken up. That is the clue. First,
I think I know who it is. She has a
Minnesotan accent, not like I'm the best dog momb that
owns the cutest corgy in the world. Damn, that's what
she wanted. You lead with my past relationship. Well, if

(48:55):
you haven't guessed yet, help I suck it. Becka and
Garrett on the podcast Surprise Surprise. Yeah, I don't think
anyone could have gotten So you guys, can you're heading
into Rena tonight for Tin's They did. Yes, that Garrett
set up for Becca. It all makes sense now I
can piece it together. Now I know who they are

(49:16):
that you can use. Yeah, exactly, Garrett, you have my
all time favorite. I'm I watched The Bachelor, but I
don't religiously watch it, and so but I watched most
of your season and I there was one moment towards
the end. It was my favorite moment in the history
of Bachelor anything, excluding obviously stuff with Ashley and I. Uh.

(49:39):
There was a part at the end where you were
talking about Becca and I think it was the final two,
and you started getting emotional and and you and you
looked up in the camera and you had tears in
your eyes and you were just like, I love the
way she says bag. Yeah, and that was it, and
you were like, I love the way she says bag.

(49:59):
And Ashley and I looked at each other at that
moment and was like, that is the sweetest moment I've
ever seen on this show. Because so many times and
you guys can attest this for watching the show, it's
very overexaggerated lines. You know, she's the person I want
to spend the rest of my life with. I can
only see me being with him for the rest of

(50:20):
my life. I love him. He's my soul mate. He's
he moves my world. Blah blah blah blah blah, and
a lot of it's for me, I guess, a little
cliche and overly used, and like you know, it's it's
almost like a formulaic. At this point in that moment
when you said that, I could tell how much you
loved Becca from that line, without you ever saying how

(50:41):
in love you were with her or how you can
never see yourself with another person like I knew every
I knew how much Becca meant to you in that
moment just by the way you said it, And I'll
never forget that for the rest of my life. It
was one of my favorite moments I've ever seen. I
will say he to this day, now we've been together
to two years later, he still calls me out every

(51:03):
time I say a bag. He he really loved it.
I love when we go on trips together and she's like,
gotta pack the bag. That's hilarious. Like, now I know
I asked someone to marry me. He though. The more
that he's with me or around my friends and family
back home, he starts to pick up the Minnesota and accent.
I do it on purpose now you don't. You don't

(51:24):
even know when you're doing it comes out, No, I do.
What do you say in like a Minnesota accent? Oh no?
Do you just like quote Fargo? That was Minnesota? Right, yeah, Dakota,
but that, yeah, same accent. We watched Fargo together and
he was like, this is how your aunt sounds, and

(51:44):
she's like, oh no, We're going over to Sandy's later
and going to have a lud. Well you guys are
you guys are living in Soca right now? Right? So
does do you see the accent kind of fade away
now you're like far away from home? I don't. I mean,
it's hard for me to tell. I don't think so.
If I'm drinking, it's it's always it comes out so
hard when I'm drinking. When I I don't have much

(52:07):
of a Rhode Island Boston accent. I have a little bit,
but when I start drinking or if I'm back home,
all of a sudden, I turned into John Krasinski from
that smot pop. Commercially, my Colorado accent really comes out
when I'm drunk. For sure? What is the Colorado acts?
There is? Anyways for the listeners out there becat you're
on Bachelor Live on stage. You're doing the tour for

(52:27):
that right now, go ahead and plug that real quick
because you're making a bunch of stops over the next
few months. It's crazy. So we've been practicing for a while.
I mean, the show has been in the works for
two years. It's been like this baby, and um, it's
basically one local Bachelor in every city that we go to.
So we're gonna have sixty six different guys and then
he is going to be dating ten local girls and

(52:48):
so it's all on stage. We have group dates, ros ceremonies, hometowns,
fantasy suites. We had our very first show last night
and the audience was crazy in the best ways. Like
Ben and I ocked out and we knew that it
was going to be we were going to have an audience.
That was the first time we've really practiced with an audience.
But we stood there for a good two minutes while

(53:09):
they just cheered and interrupted and standing ovations and Batchel Nation.
I knew that we had fans. I mean, like you
obviously get the d m s and you meet people
that want the photos and autographs on that, but like
I swear batter Nation fans are more extreme than sports fans.
They're the craziest loyalist, most wonderful, insane people I've ever

(53:31):
encountered in my entire life. Yeah. Well, and like every
year you watch the show and you have the people
that you love each season or that you don't like.
And on stage, it's it's only a two hour show,
so super quick, and on stage, the audience started to
either love or hate some of the girls. So they're yelling,
like pick Katie, you Dick. They're like yelling at the
can I see Dick on this? Okay? But they're yelling

(53:54):
at the Bachelor if he's making the wrong decision. He
hears it and he feels and he's like, oh wait,
but can I ask the audience? Can I Can I
pick someone else? And so it's like you get all
those awkward moments from the show just right in front
of you. I love it. And so it's you and
been co hosting it. Um And if you're interested in
being an audience member, I'm sure you guys are sold
out in tons of venues, but go to Bachelor Live
on stage dot com to reserve a ticket. It sounds

(54:16):
like it's the venue last night looked huge, like it
looked like it was like the heavyweight boxing like Matt.
You know. Well, we walked out and I was stunned.
But the show tomorrow and some of the shows are
like double the size, which I'm I don't know how
it's possible. But I do have one question about Bachelor Alive,
just because it's across my mind. Uh and I'm sure

(54:36):
you guys been asked this before. But why I guess
because it's Bachelor Alive and not Bachelorette Alive. But was
there any reason as to why I wasn't half half
Bachelor and half Bachelorettes. I think for this go around,
they want to start. The first season of the show
was solely The Bachelor, and so obviously we we have
to see how it goes and if the audience likes it,
and then from there they definitely want to add Bachelor.

(54:59):
I I mean, I would personally love to see same
sex on the stage, um Seymour variety. So I think
if this run goes well, we're definitely going to fingers
Cross be adding. So shout out to you Bachelor Nation
for being so loyal. Really thank you for that, because
you guys are really wonderful in that aspect. And then secondly,
if you guys want to see a Bachelorette live on

(55:20):
stage with Becca and Ben to do this all over again,
go see Bachelor Live right now, because if it does
well to have a Bachelorette, and better than that, if
that goes well, I better see a Bachelor in Paradise
on stage because I can only imagine the chaos and
madness that would ensue. Well, Jared, we we do throw
a little bit to paradise, so you just have to
come and watch it. Oh, we'll be there, very exciting.

(55:42):
We'll actually be there tonight and be there tomorrow depending
on when this comes out to that comes out Saturday,
so you'll be there tonight. Anyways, Thank you guys so
much for joining us. Have fun on your date tonight,
and thank you luck tonight on Bachelor Live on Stage.
I guess I can't stay tonight for two different nights anyways,
And back on the podcast because I have a lot
of questions. Yeah, we kind of have to expedite it.

(56:03):
Sorry for it, but thank you so much and for
the listeners. Stick around because we have two mystery guests
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(57:32):
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are back joined in studio by one of my favorite
people in the entire world. We're not going to say
his name. The thing is, we wanted the listeners to
guess who we have on as a guest. They're gonna
know immediately, but I still want to play the game

(57:54):
immediately immediately. They know your voice, Bro, they know you
you know well, they know you're a man now. So, sir,
welcome to the podcast. We appreciate you being here on
our special Valentine's Day episode. Can you give a clue
as to who you are? Yeah? I love both of
these men with all my heart, and they know that

(58:14):
we've been friends Jared and I now for four or
five years and Dean and I now for three years,
three best years of my life. So for the listeners
out there, because this is our Valentine's podcast, can you
please tell you do have a partner. I do have
a partner. That's another hint for the listeners out there
that might not know who this is. What are you
and your significant other doing on this uh wonderful day

(58:35):
of celebration of love. We're hanging out with you, guys. Yeah,
we appreciate that. Sweet. I'm sorry. You have to know.
It's great. Actually, last year, we're not on Valentine's Day together.
This year we're going to be here, uh in Squaw Valley,
hanging out with the two of you, celebrating, eating good food,
having good laughs, and just enjoying the company of people.

(58:56):
That's as good as it gets. No, no, no, no,
don't think people. Some people out there might not still
know who it is. Yeah, you're dating someone, that's another clue.
I'm dating somebody. Is this your first Valentine's Day together? Yes?
In person? We were together last Valentine's Day dating, but
we had not been able to get in together in
person last Valentine's Day, so we spent apart. But did

(59:18):
you celebrate Valentine's Dawn? It just a different day. We
always celebrate Valentine's Day. Every day is a Valentine's Day
for me right now with her. I saw your Instagram
caption is very sweet. It's true. It is fun, like
it's been a good Uh we've been together now for
a year. It's been a amazing year. Where it does
it just feels like the pressure of performing for these

(59:39):
special days is there because you want to show them
you care, but also you kind of want to do
that every day. So it's like this day is unique,
but it's almost hard to top every other day because
every day it feels really good. Right now? Can I
read your caption online? Because it's the most you thing
I could possibly read. I'm not saying his name. Uh,
it's says every day is Valentine's with you, and then

(01:00:03):
it adds your girlfriend's name and says, gosh, dang it,
I am a lucky man. That's so cute. That's great,
that's great. I love that you guys celebrate each other
every single day. Jared and I are both are kind
of on the same bus of we don't actually love
the idea of Valentine's Day because every day should be
Valentine's Day. We want to abolish it. Um, yeah, same,

(01:00:26):
It's just too much because now it's becoming a holiday
that is more about the sadness of single people than
it is celebrating relationships. Yeah, well, I think it puts
people in the two camps, and I don't love holidays
or any type of celebration that puts people in the
two camps, the singles and the people in relationship. Valentine's
Day is a special day, but I think every day

(01:00:46):
can be a day that you express your gratitude and
care and love for your partner who was committed to
sharing their life with you through your annoyances. But today
just feels like one of those days that it's isolating
for many and that's not fun, Like we can't How
am I supposed to celebrate when I know there's somebody
tonight sitting on their couch alone, going if I only

(01:01:07):
had somebody by me. Well, sir, if you don't mind,
as someone that's obviously spent many Valentine's Day as a
single person, what advice would you have for the single
people of today? Yeah, I I know what I would
tell him, And I think I have to actually say
this is an advice, advice I'm going to share. But
Tanya from the I Heart Family actually shared this with

(01:01:29):
me very recently. Never stop trying. That's my advice for
anybody's single out there. So if you're sitting on your
couch right now, or if you're alone, if you desire
a partnership. If you don't, then that's a whole new story.
But if you desire to bring somebody into your life
and you just haven't found him, or it hasn't worked
out yet, or you're still searching, no matter what you've done,

(01:01:51):
no matter how really like hurt me you've may have been,
or how many great dates you've been on, never stop trying.
Always continue because as those stories, those first off those
disappointments are turning in the stories, and you're gonna learn
more and more about you who you are through it.
It's beautiful. That is beautiful. Can comment. So you guys

(01:02:12):
all hate Valentine's Day, you wish it was abolished. But
why is Valentine's Day being categorized as relationships? Isn't it
just a holiday about love? So love can be from
your father, your brother, your friends, your family. It can
look so differently, so why should it be relationship quote
unquote shamed versus being This is epic, This is a
day years But that's why I don't like it, because

(01:02:35):
I feel like it's solely based on romantic relationships and
not other love that you experienced. Where other holidays, like
we said, like whether you know whatever you celebrate during December, Christmas, Hanka,
so on and so forth, and Thanksgiving, I feel like
those are more like family and friend oriented holidays, where
it's just celebrating the people that you love most and
are lucky to be surrounded by. Where I feel like

(01:02:55):
Valentine's Day is only about boyfriend, girlfriend dating, boyfriend, boyfriend
girlfriend girlfriend marriage, whatever. You know, It's only about that
type of relationship and love. Maybe I'm wrong. I see
it different. Well no, that's good. I see it very differently.
Need the different perspective, spoken like a true single woman.

(01:03:16):
So you are single. That's all I'm about to say.
Not to trust the night good? Sorry are you kidding?
I don't care? No, I that was so funny. No,
but I genuinely like I always get a Valentine card
from my dad, you know what I mean. I'm not saying.
You know, people have different relationships with their parents than mine. Maybe,
but it's still just like your friends. Galentine's Days about

(01:03:38):
your girls showing up, being like where your community, we
love you. So I just feel like, why are we
shaming that, Like, well, celebrate it. Everyone love you to
make you feel better when you're I get you a
Valentine's Day card? Or did you make you feel more
sad because you're like, my dad's the only one getting
me a Valentine's Day Make you sad? It makes a
lot of people sad out there. Rock solid dude in
my life shows that he cares about me. But I

(01:03:58):
feel like a lot of people out there might get
sad about that because then they're like, I only get
a Valentine's Day card for that day. Valentine's Day fault
faults your father Valentine's Day gifts, But I text him
I love him. Hear guys, I don't know if it
intrigues you at all. But Valentine's Day, also called St.
Valentine's Day or the Feast of St. Valentine, is celebrated annually.

(01:04:22):
It is originated as a Western Christian feast day honoring
one or two early Christian martyrs named St. Valentine, and
is recognized as a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration
of romance and love in many regions of the world today.
So now we can understand a little bit more about

(01:04:43):
the origins of valent text of it. But how does
that help us? I think it now, Well, because the
foundation of this was a celebration of romance and love,
it sounds like in all forms. Well, the only reason
I'm starting to not like it is because now there's
this whole thing about well, if there's Valentine's Day, there

(01:05:05):
should be single awareness Day. And it just makes me
think maybe we're just overthinking everything at this point. There's
also people making a lot of money on this day. Well,
of course, it's a candy card holiday, you know what
I mean. I spent a lot of money. Flowers. Flowers.
They're gonna die in six days if we're lucky. So
when you when you get out of Tahoe Squaw Valley,
we're obviously lucky. I have to be up here for

(01:05:26):
Valentine's Day. You guys don't have any specific plans of
being like, this is our Valentine's Day date? Uh No,
we don't. Probably on me, I should probably should have
done that. But we have had a really great here's
a cool part about our relationship. Over the last year.
We've had an insane ride, We've done some incredible stuff,

(01:05:48):
and I do feel like we've participated in things together,
will tell stories about for years to come. So I'm
sure there's gonna be a day that comes along where
I'm sitting across the table from this girl and I say, man,
I'm a lucky guy, and that's Valentine's Day enough for me.
Can you make us all lucky guys? Yeah? I mean
I feel like you both are. Would it be okay
if we got to speak with this Lucky girl podcast? Yeah? Yeah, lady,

(01:06:11):
thank you, thank you. Man who shall not be named,
all right, and for the listeners out there, we're doing
the ceremonial transfer of the microphone to that gentleman's better half,
if you will. Uh again, we're not gonna say the names. Nope,
we're not gonna say them. So welcome to the podcast.
Welcome to help us like a dating. Its very awkward,
not I feel like a jerk saying be like, hey, welcome,

(01:06:34):
what's up? Bro? It's okay, how are you on this
Valentine's Day? I'm great, happy to be here. So I'm
really really happy you're here. Because obviously Jared and I
know Ben pretty well for the most part spoiler, but
we've never really all right, let's just get it away.
The chicken is up. I said his name a while.
It was Ben Higgins Ladies, a gentleman, which you knew

(01:06:55):
from the moment you heard his voice, and his wonderful
girlfriend jess Clark. I can't believe I blew that. I know.
I wasn't one that was like, do you like jess
or Jessica better either one. No one calls me Jessica anymore,
I think because of my Instagram is just jess so
it calls me Jessica. Sometimes he was angry. You love
that name, Jessica. Just in general I call him Benjamin.

(01:07:15):
So what's your middle take it formal Elise? Because the
only didn't ask when my when my mom used to
be mad at me, she she would call me Jared Matthew.
That's how in your she was mad at me, should
call your middle name? So jess Jesse, Elise, Jessica, elease?
Did you ever get called just like Ben call you
that when he's mad? Is my middle name? Okay, jess Jessica,
how can you possibly ever be? That's the thing. He's

(01:07:37):
never angry at me, so I would never know. Right,
We went from not saying anyone's names to saying, everyone
your cards out at the table at this point. Anyways, Jess,
have you to have you here for our Valentine's Day episode? Um,
obviously we got to speak with Ben a little bit
about you guys plans. It sounds like you're just celebrating
each other every single day. But what what are your
thoughts are? Like, what's your take on Valentine's Day? Just

(01:07:57):
in general? Before before you and be and had the
chance to celebrate these past two together, what was your
take on it? Um? I mean I always just spent
it with my girlfriends or Yeah, my dad always got
me something like a stuffed animal, So even when I
was like twenty two, he's still got me giant Teddy bears.
My dad does the same thing. Like when you send
the message about the card and flowers, my dad gets

(01:08:19):
flowers for my sister. So you're big big Galantines, then
big Galantine's gal Did you do Galantine's this year? No?
I would have been Okay, got you what's still kind
of Galantine? Galantine? Yeah? Well we did. Like what can
you tell our listeners out there, because we do have
a lot of women who are listeners of this part.
I think at least if we have any listeners at all,

(01:08:39):
most of them any out there, can you tell them
what you think a good a good Galantine's Day. It's like,
what do you do to celebrate your Galantine? Specifically, my
best one is me and my best friend into a
Mexican restaurant and got margarita's and like split tacos and
notches and went to a movie afterwards. But we it
was when I was in college, and so the Mexican

(01:09:00):
restaurant was the only one in the town, and everyone
else there was on a date. So all of the
like waiters and any old man that was in there
felt so bad for us. So we ended up with
like vases of flowers on our table and just got
drunk on margarities. And yeah, um it was one of
the fifty shades of gray ones. They love to come

(01:09:20):
out with those on Valentine's Day. It sounds like the
simple sometimes the simplest ones are always the best ones, right,
Like you probably never would have thought that going to
a Mexican restaurant with your best friend was going to
turn into like a fantastic memory that you can have
for the rest of your life. Exactly. Yeah, I want
to ask you about how long have you been been dating? Now, Um,
we were just talking about this. We started dating December, Okay,

(01:09:41):
so it's a year and a couple of months. Year
and a couple of months. But you're but their origin
story is not very untraditional in the sense that you
guys didn't really see each other much for the beginning
stages of the relationships. So we started talking in November,
and then as soon as the first time we saw
each other, we decided to be boyfriend. But then even
after that, you guys still had to do like long

(01:10:02):
distance because he's got a busy schedule and obviously the
last Valentine's Day we were still like a secret in
air quotes. Yeah, we had told me when that we
were dating. When did you guys quote come out? We're
looking on our instagrams. It was what late February of
last year, so we're coming up on the one year
coming out anniversary. Were you nervous for that, yeah, to
announce that you were in a relationship with Ben Higgins? Yeah,

(01:10:23):
well I underestimated it, so I didn't get nervous until
like my phone started to get hot that night, because
it's like crazy. Yeah. Well, it's because the thing about Ben,
he was obviously the bachelor, so he's known for relationships,
and I think, well, I don't think everybody loves Ben
so much that I think that everybody was rooting for him,
and then all of a sudden one day he was

(01:10:43):
like you were that that person that everybody was like, yes,
Ben found his persons, you know, And so was that
overwhelming for you all of a sudden? I mean not
to like give an example Instagram followers, right, like how
many followers did you gain just from that? I think
I got like six thousand a night or something like that.
Is that overwhelming? Because your floone must have been blowing up.

(01:11:03):
Everybody miss him talking to you, especially keeping a secret.
It was wild. It was that day was definitely overwhelming,
and I had just gotten back from Honduras and with him,
and so it was like two days into that I
was on a business trip. It was a really like
overwhelming day in general. But um, luckily he kind of
helps like guide me along a lot, and I have

(01:11:24):
a lot of people that hold me accountable and that
kind of thing. So it was overwhelming, But now it's
just kind of fun and funny. And did you guys
plan that because you did the Humanity and Hope trip
right to Honduras, which for the listeners out there, if
you haven't heard of Humanity to Helpe you sure check
that out. Was a fantastic organization. They bring you to Honduras.
You get to see locally sourced coffee beans. You gotta
visit some communities and help them scale. I guess I

(01:11:45):
don't really want to miss miss uh define a new
development of communities with Honduras. Um what is the what
was the planning process of going like posting your first
picture together, because that's three months of essentially being boyfriend girlfriend.
Was there were you guys like today we're gonna do it.
We're like we're gonna do it. In a week, We're
gonna do it on this day specifically? Was it just
like you know what, we're just gonna do it. What

(01:12:06):
was the process because didn't you talk to someone about it?
It was strategic, very very strategic. UM it has Yeah.
We one was I wanted to be out of the
country because I didn't want to take calls about it too.
I thought, well, this is an organization, you know, we
we both had believed in and we cared about and
so why not get a picture taken down there to

(01:12:29):
promote this organization that's helping lives. If this is gonna
be the picture that everybody uses, And then too like
they're like as soon and you get it, I think,
just can I be understanding a little bit? And maybe
you should even know at the time. But for us,
you know, we're dating in private and it was great
and we're having a great time and it was fun

(01:12:49):
and we're dating and enjoying that side. But there is
this pressure that comes to announcing a public relationship because
then all of a sudden you're tied, and so like,
I want to make sure this was the real deal,
like this thing was happening, we were good, because if
you announced a relationship after a month and a half
and then you break up in a month, like that hurts.
So for us, I want to you know, I think

(01:13:09):
we're both like, let's just make sure that we're steady,
Like this is what we're feeling and thinking right now.
Isn't just like a new cool, like lustful thing. So
three months is actually a great I think great timing.
It was we we had our own time privately and
then announced it and it's been a blast. It sounds
like you're two Valentines into a lifetime full of Valentines days,

(01:13:31):
lifetime a lot of Valentines. So you guys, so I
know you're doing the Bachelor alive right now. So you're
on the tour bus, jess are you're gonna be on
the bus. I'm gonna be popping in and out and out. Yeah,
I'm excited though. It's a nice bus. Everyone says you
sleep really good on those buses. She'll be coming in. Yeah,
like I think every three weeks, I could see Jessica
coming onto the bus. So that's kind of the plan

(01:13:53):
right now. Um, the country. I've got a question. Let's
I get it. You guys love each other. She's your
best friend, he's your best friend. When do I fit
into this? When do I get to meet up at
the tour bus and go for you? Yeah? We actually
have negotiated into the contract a open bunk for friends
to come stay on the bus. That it was specifically
for me. I was a lot more flattered for a minute.
But you you're a friend, yeah, I mean that is

(01:14:15):
kind of you, like and its friends in parentheses all friends. Yeah,
so please come stay on the bus. Den, I would
love to be with you any time. Um, it would
be fantastic if I could spend any waking moment with
you traveling on the road, because quite frankly, he's a
professional at it. Did you have any times that you
might pop into Patrol Alive? Do you have anything set
up right now? I don't have anything planned. I told

(01:14:36):
Ben uh with no response received, that I would love
to go to like a small town on the tour
that you guys are going to and experience that with you,
just like you sit backstage, you get to watch Ben
Rebecca do their thing and just kind of you know,
I mean, Taho would be a good spot. Reno be
good spot, is a great spot. It would make I

(01:14:56):
wanted to be like Twin Falls, Idaho. Okay, let's do it.
Let's take the You take the van, I'll meet you
there on the bus. We'll spend some time backstage. Dean,
I'm telling you this right now, Jared, I would say
the same thing for you, but Dean is the one
here that I'm speaking to. If you walked out on
that stage one of these shows, the place would blow.

(01:15:19):
I don't want to. I don't want to do that.
I just want to watch you and Becca host a
beautiful show. The last thing I would want us to
walk out on stage. Um, I have one more question
before we part ways with you guys, and and uh
feel free to just deflect if need be. But given
the given the fact that it is Valentine's Day, the
Day of love, Uh, do we see any type of

(01:15:41):
proposal potentially in the future between you two. What's what's
on the horizon for Ben and jess Um? Oh, definitely.
I mean I think that Jessica and I life is
very aligned. I'm excited about the future. What's next for us?
Jessica just started a company in Denver called sad For

(01:16:01):
is a wellness platform where you pay a small membership
fee and get discounts. So why did you get into that? Um?
Because Ben loves in Denver, So I thought you were
still in Nashville. I am so I own it in
Nashville also, but I'm planning on making the move to
Denver once the question gets popped. Yeah, okay, okay, So
the plan is hopefully, you know, at some point, maybe

(01:16:24):
things progress, maybe on the one year anniversary of your
guys coming out. Let's not put expectations on anything. Dean
and then you would move to Denver. Yes, So that's
a tentative plan for any I want to ask before you,
guys go, advice for a long distance relationship, But I
guess from an outsider, that's the biggest advice I could

(01:16:46):
give would be if you're doing a long distance have
a plan and don't just expect, oh, things will just
line up the way they do, because I feel like
then they always fall apart. So you guys have done
a long distance relationship, what would be your biggest piece
of advice for anybody dealing with that right now? UM
communicate with like where you're at and how you're feeling
at all times. Like Ben always says, if there's anything

(01:17:08):
bothering you at any point, you just have to tell me.
Like I can't because I would bottle things up and
then I would explode about little things and it would
lead back to something bigger that happened a long time ago.
So immediate communication and then like just making sure you're
on the same page because especially as a girl, you
can like get ahead of yourself sometimes I think girls
are really bad about that. So making sure that like

(01:17:29):
you're on the same page about everything at all times,
otherwise someone will end up like disappointed or something at
some point. Yeah. I think it's great. Also for anny
couple out there, never leave your partner without having a
plan on one to see them. Yeah, that's huge. That's
a huge one. I think that's fantastic advice for our
listeners out there. Um, and for the listeners out there,
thank you so much for listening to this week's episode
of Help I Suck a Dating the special Valentine's Day addition,

(01:17:52):
big thank you too are to MRR guests. I don't
know if you've guess who they are by now, but
we only said their names like seven times. Um. Big
thank you to our callers in as well. Be sure
to check out their websites, check out their dating apps, etcetera.
Have it right here. It's a big thank you to
Susan trom Betty, a big thank you to Jamie Bronstein,
a big thank you to Carina Carston uh and those

(01:18:16):
are our callers, and a big thank you to Ben
and Jesse. Of course, mry guest. To the two people
walking out of the room right now, thank you so
much for joining the podcast. Anyways, If you have any
guests on who those two guests were because we're again
we're not divulging who they were. UM, be sure to
email us I suck a Dating at i Hear media
dot com. Be sure to email some questions. Next week,
we're are going to do basically an email centric podcast

(01:18:37):
where we answer listener questions via email, so be sure
to check that out and be sure to next week
where maybe we suck just a little bit less. Follow
help by suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcasts

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