November 23, 2021 • 40 mins
Wells Adams is here to talk to Hannah Brown about all the wild stories from her new book! Find out everything that went down with Pilot Pete, how she really felt about Tyler Cameron after the show ended, and more drama that you never saw on The Bachelorette!
Hannah opens up in way that only Wells can inspire as she shares all with the best bartender in Paradise!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
with I R Radio. What's up bats Nation. I know
what you're thinking, this is in Ben's voice, and you're
also thinking this is in Ashley's voice or if it is,
man pregnancy is really taking a hard left turn for
her vocal cords. Nope, this is your favorite friendly bartender
(00:23):
slash master of ceremonies. Wells Adams, I'm filling in because
guess what you know. Ben's in the Islands with his
brand new bride, Jess, and they are doing sexy stuff
down there, which means he can't host his own podcast.
And Ashley is I assume about ready to pop. I
(00:46):
don't know how these things work, but I do know
that she is carrying a bib, which means, um, I
don't think she can do the podcast today. So yeah,
you get me. Sorry, but that's how it goes. Anyways.
I'm excited to do this show, not because I don't
love coming on the Almost Famous podcasts and chit chatting
(01:07):
with all of you, but because of the guests that
we are going to have today. Hannaby Hannah Brown. She's
got a new book out called God Bless This Mess,
and uh well, she has dropped a lot of Hannah bombs,
to be fair, lots of them. We found out just
a couple of days ago Visa VI every tabloid magazine
that apparently she was hooking up with Peter after a
(01:31):
season while he was still with I don't know whoever
he picked at the end of that thing. Not sure
we're gonna get to the bottom of that. We also
learned more about her relationship with Tyler Cameron. What really
went down during that quarantine crew situation down in Florida.
Were they going to Pound Town during that time? Were
they not? I don't know, but we're gonna get the answers.
(01:52):
So Yeah, decided to talk to Hannah By about her
new book. God bless this mess. So just trying to
do a mental tally in my head. Hannah Be's got
a book out, Ben's got a book out called Alone
in Plain Site. I believe Ashley and Jared have a
children's book out. I believe Peter has a book out.
I believe um Mike Johnson has a book out, which
(02:15):
begs the question were you ever really on the Bachelor
of the bat Serette if you haven't published a book?
Also begs the question, who's writing this stuff? Well, I
guess you guys are, but we're gonna give you the
cliff notes. Today, in other Bachelor news, I saw that
Katie is no longer with Blake shockingly enough, but she's
now with that guy John, which she kicked off the show.
(02:37):
I guess way to go. Also saw that Tasia is
no longer with Zach Claire of course, no longer with
Dale Colton. I guess he's got a Netflix show coming out.
Matt and Rachel are still together, which that one's actually
a shocker. I would just like to say that the
b I p relationships, the show that I work on,
the show that let's be fair, that I host uh
(02:59):
doing well. Dean and Kaylan strong, Hannah, Dylan strong, Joan
Serena strong, Ashley and Jared this is strong. Having a kid.
Tanner and Jade this is strong. Rusta and Riley strong.
I think Noan Abigail are back together, Mary and Kenny strong,
Becca and Thomas they broke up. They're going strong. Listen.
I'm not saying that I'm the reason why it's successful.
(03:22):
I'm just saying that the show that I work on
is killing its Also, my dogs are barking in the
background because they agree with me that b I P
Is the place to go to find love. All right,
off the soapbox, down to the interview. Let's get Hannah
by Online Hannah by Hannah Brown. What's up, dude, Hey,
(03:57):
nothing much, just uh moaning a book. I had a
book come out. I know, should I write a book?
I feel like I'm the only person from the Bachelor
world that has written a book. I mean, why not?
What would mind be about? You? Think? Um? I felt
you have a lot of stories to tell being a
bartender on Bachelor in Paradise. Yes, but I am still
(04:21):
under contract. There is an NDA hanging over my head,
which I assume, Uh, you are free and clear of
hence why this beautiful publication has reached the bookshelves. Well,
I don't know if I'm even free. I think that
it lasts forever, um parts of it, so uh, you know,
I had to make sure everything was was okay. Um,
(04:43):
But yeah, I think we're always under when I'm pretty sure. Yeah,
you never you never get away from it. I gotta say,
you dropped some freaking bombs in this book. I haven't
read it because I believe it's out like today today. U. Um,
but I'm excited to talk to you and go through
(05:03):
kind of all the the stuff that you that you
revealed in it. Um. I will say, I think the
last time I saw you, it was back when we
were able to go to parties and experience the world.
And was it the Was it the Emmy's Yeah, I
think so, yeah, the Emmys it was? Was it the
(05:26):
Golden Globes? Yeah, one of those. Um. Yeah. I feel like,
you know, I had a really weird like I was
a bachelorrette at a really weird time because I went
straight from being on the Bachelorette to like being on
Dancing with Stars and then like I just started to
(05:47):
be able to hang out with people and then like
a pandemic happened. Yeah, so um, and then you know,
had like my own mental breakdowns and stuff. So uh yeah,
I haven't really seen many pool from the franchise since
since then. Okay, well I gotta ask because you, um,
(06:08):
you unleash a lot of I get. I don't know
if it's dirt, but information in this book. Have you
talked to like so I know that like Peter's in
the crosshairs, Tyler gets a lot of love. By the way,
am I in this fucking book? Am I? Do I
have a chapter or something that I don't know about? Um,
you did not make the final Edits okay, good news
(06:28):
for me. I'm just waiting for like the Daily Mail
to let me know that I've done something wrong. So
my first question is this, like, do you give those
people that are in your book the heads up that
you're having a book? Uh that's coming out that has
information about their lives? Um? Yes, and I mean like
Tyler knew because we were kind of writing books at
(06:51):
the same time. Uh. But no, I didn't like give
them the heads up because I really try had to
make sure. Yes, there was things about our personal lives
in there, but we also have shared our personal lives
on camera, and UM, I felt like it was really
(07:12):
important for me to share my honest, true story and
and everything that I put in there. I wouldn't say
it was dirt because I wasn't trying to be like
mean spirited or put blame on anybody for any experience
because I really tried to, um have awareness for how
(07:33):
I played a part and everything too. So UM, even
though yes, there were things that I revealed that people
didn't know. It wasn't in a malicious way or to
like put people under attack. It was just like it
was things that affected me and had last lasting impacts
and I think a lot of people connect with and so, um,
(07:55):
yeah people. I didn't like let everyone know what was
going to be in the book because as I didn't
really let people read the book before, not even my parents.
So everybody is just having all these surprises. Have your
folks read it now? Have my parents read it now? No? They,
(08:15):
I mean they get their books today. My dad was
so sweet he bought he bought a few books for
me to sign when I get back home. But they
do know what's in there, like they haven't read it,
but like I was very honest that I was going
to be honest about the things that affected me from
my childhood and forward. And they're aware that our family
(08:36):
has gone through a lot of challenges but also we've
grown through that. Um. And my parents were like, look
like write your story, we support you, we love you,
and kind of just gave me free range. The books
called God Bless this mess, Learning to Live and Love
through life's best and then in parentheses worst moments, Um,
(08:59):
I hate do this but I gotta ask the questions
about the specifics of the book. I think the one
that that this audience cares about, which is your relationship
with Peter. And so I guess I'm fuzzy on this.
I've read the headlines, but your relationship with Peter. I
guess after he finished um filming Bachelor, you guys had
(09:25):
a hook up session, but he was still kind of
with Madison or Hannah. I don't know who he was with,
but um, so what happened. So the last time I
saw Peter was him you know, I was on Lazy
with Stars. He was a Bachelor. I went on the show.
Last time I saw him, he said he would lead
(09:48):
the show to be with me. And that was really
hard because I felt like I had just gone through
like two pretty major blows to my heart, my ego,
everything with thinking that two guys who told me that
they loved me want to be with me. Um, it
didn't work out, And I think at that point, I'm like,
(10:11):
oh my gosh, the only guy who actually loved me
cared about me isn't out the Bachelor. And now they're
I'm being now I have to go on this show again,
and I'm like a mess. And I think a lot
of emotions just came from me, just not like just
being like it was this even real, Like how have
I let this affect me so much? And now I
(10:33):
do not want to be back in this setting. And
so the last time everybody sees me together with Peter,
but also just for myself before um, everything that happened
after the show, Uh, I was left with I told him, like,
you know, I'm not gonna be dating anybody if it
doesn't work out for you, like I'd love to go
(10:53):
on a date. Well, of course, like we know, he
ends up getting engaged on the show, and um, I
was happy for him and like, but I think there
was still like this weird like that's the last time
I talked to him, was you wanted me to say
I could be with him? So I was really confused.
So we had I think there was talks of us
(11:17):
having a conversation on camera after the fact, because it
was left so unsettled, and I'm like, I'm not doing that,
Like I don't think either, I'm not doing that. So
I think I messaged him was like I think we
were both getting contacted about should we somehow have some
type of resolve. So we just got on the phone
(11:39):
and talked to each other, and um, it was really
good to catch up and I think it allowed us
like there's only a few people that can understand what
it's like to be a lead of that show. It's
it's really hard, and I mean being a part of
the show. I think it's just hard in general. But
(12:00):
that world One really connected us, and I think he
looked at me as somebody that he could talk to
when it was filming, So we kind of like stayed
in touch a little, but nothing like crossing the line
at all. It was just like supporting him talking through
especially like the first two episodes I was in and
(12:21):
knowing he was with somebody, like it was all just
kind of it was weird, and I didn't really I
wasn't really happy about being a part of all that
because I knew I was really emotional. So anyway, how
all that Hannah Godwin and Dylan's party engagement party is
um where we saw each other for the first time,
(12:45):
and it was weird because like Jed was there with
his girl, like his new girlfriend Peter was there. At
one point, they like preparing me that Tyler was going
to be there, and I'm like, oh gosh, this is
going to be interesting because I haven't seen anybody. And
then all the rest of my ex boyfriends were there too,
so it was like I was really nervous going in there. Um.
(13:07):
But Peter was like, I have so much to tell you,
like when we said hello, and I was like what
does that mean? Like he was like, oh, I just
have so much telling you and I was like, well,
let's talk. Well, the producers were there at the show,
I mean at the party, and like kept keeping us
away from each other, and so I was like I
want to know, like what what are you talking about?
(13:27):
So you like texted me afterwards and it was like
come outside, and so we sat we actually like sat
in a driveway for a little bit and like around
the corner and just talked. And it got late and
he like driving me home. We kept talking and it
was all just about the experience and then yeah, I
he was like, well I have a flight in the morning,
(13:49):
Like you want to keep talking and we'll go to
Wooden Hills and I was like sure. It was like
and I'll drive you back, like let's just and I'm
like okay, like sure, like truly not thinking anything more
than we're just like catching up and that's what it
felt like. That's what it felt like. And then um, yeah,
I get there, like he texted me. I mean, he
(14:11):
like tells me in the car as mom texted him,
and he's like, my mom's still up. She would love
to talk to you. Okay. I end up like being
in their living room with barbed for like two and
a half hours. Peter goes upstairs and leaves me down there,
and I'm like what do I do at this point?
(14:31):
Like now I'm like here, Like what do I do?
Like I don't have a ride home, Like it's like
some ungodly hour and yeah, Like then I she was like,
well you want to just stay here? I can like
make you a bed, and I'm like he's like you
like Peter's already in bed at States like by the way,
(14:54):
By the way, Barbara is the best wingman I've ever
heard of in my entire life. She is always trying
to get her son whatever continue on. I know. So
I'm like, okay, whatever, and like she's always been kind
to me, but she was not having Madison. Um Hannah
(15:15):
Ann and Peter had already been broken up like he
had already ended the engagement. So that's what he was
telling me all about like how all that happened, blah
blah blah everything, and then the whole like Madison thing
was going on, and at that point he was like,
I think it's just like over, like I'm just gonna
focus on like and I'm like, okay, whatever. They weren't talking. Well,
(15:39):
I am not in the best emotional place myself, Like
I will be completely honest, it was you know, I've
worked a lot this past year and a half to
like really and like hell from all that. And so
I went to his brother's room and then Peter texted
(15:59):
me and was like, come cuddle, and I was. I
remember like sitting there like yeah, I don't know, there's
obvious there was still like some like chemistry, and I'm like,
you know, at this point, I'm like, none of these
guys loved me and I want I wanted that so
bad and I think because of that, I made really
(16:19):
poor decisions for myself. And I went in there and
I can remember knowing like this is such a bad idea,
like this is just not I don't need to be here,
And when you know, we ended up hooking up, and
it was just kind of like I remember being like
what did I just do? Like this was not good
(16:41):
for anybody, but also being like so confused, and then
like was he into it? Though? Like was it? You know?
Waking up the next morning was like gazing into your eyes? No, No,
it was really I felt really it was like he
had to go into work and I'm like he's like,
(17:02):
all right, well, like I'm gonna I gotta get ready, um,
if you want to come downstairs, my my dad's downstairs,
would love to see you. And I'm like You've got
like you've got to be kidding me, Like I'm dying,
Like what am I gonna do? He's like it's gotten
really late, like I overslept, like I'm gonna have to
go and I'm like wait what and he hands me
(17:27):
money to get an uber ah, And that just like
that was when I was like this is I was
just kind of done after that, which I knew immediately,
like I didn't feel like the chemistry, but then it
was like what is this? And then like I went
(17:47):
home and I'm like I just had coffee with Peter's
dad in a robe. I just spent the night at
his house and I'm like the show so on, Like
I'm like, what what just happened to me? And I
get at home and then like he texted me and
it was like so good to see you, but it
was so great catching like something like really like I'm
(18:08):
glad we have each other. I'm like, wait what, And
I was like, why are you being so nonchalant about this?
Like I don't know if that was such a good idea,
like it was and at that point, and then he
like calls me and like starts wanting to talk about
Madison with me literally the next day, talking about how
he's still like cares about Madison and I'm like, wait,
(18:32):
I don't know why I'm in the position, but I
don't like it, and um, it was just so messy.
And then like I'm watching, like knowing all this has happened,
and I was kind of over after that, like after
the next like the few texts and things between us,
I was like very turn off, Like I already was
(18:55):
turned off by like very turned off about how it
was all handled because I'm like this guy, sweet guy,
He's not okay right now, not making great decisions, and
I'm obviously not making great decisions either. And I think
at that point I was like, there's there's not anything
here anymore, Like it's already dead. I mean, he's making
(19:15):
a lot of f boy maneuvers, maneuvers like the text
message like that's basically like suck you up, and then
like the here's twenty bucks for your uber home and
then like the next day texting you and being like
love seeing your bud. That's not what you say to
(19:35):
someone you slept with and I were hooked up with
the night before, and then want advice about another girl. Yeah,
I was just like what And it's so like I
think Peter has a kind heart. I really do. Like
I'm not trying to like talk shit about him at all,
but I'm just telling the abviious this is what the
(19:56):
experience that I had. And um, then like to see
how he then was with Kelly at some point and
then like how everything played out, and then he starts
doing press and like sends me a text message basically
to make sure that I'm on the same page of
(20:17):
what he says for press. And that was when I
was just like I wasn't gonna say anything anyway, but um,
I was just really over it and that thing. That's
when I really going to be like distance myself from everything.
And um, but he did apologize, Like he sent me
(20:37):
a few messages apologizing even before the book came out.
But at that point I was just especially after all
that and like that kind of being where I'm like,
I want to separate myself from this for a while,
just for for protecting myself and in my heart and
needing to heal from everything. Um. So, yeah, have you
(20:58):
talked to him? Have you talked to him? The book
has come out? Um, he sent me a text about
it and was really kind. Um did it say hey,
come snuggle. No it didn't. It didn't say that, but
he took it really well. I haven't really messaged him
back yet, but um, because I think he wanted to,
(21:19):
you know, talk about it more publicly. And I don't
think there's really much more to say. Yeah, so but
I wish him well, I really do. Like like I said,
like all the guys that I talked about, I am
not trying to be malicious at all, and I all
like I've seen parts of their their heart that are
really great. Um. And and I wholeheartedly say that, but
(21:41):
in this experiences I learned that maybe my old patterns
and um, like the the way that I was feeling
in the emotions I had just didn't allow me to
have a safe, healthy relationship with with anybody at the time. Listen,
(22:10):
I'm running out of time with you. We only got
through the Peter of it all. I do need to know,
like I need to know the Tyler Cameron g thing
into quarantine because it seems like it seems even more
awkward than having coffee with Barb and Peter's dad after
(22:34):
the hook up session the g and yeah, that was
that was really hard. And I think that's where like
I taught I immediately after I got engaged to Jed
was still like very open about like I don't know
(22:54):
if I'm okay, Like I still have feelings for other people,
Like I'm trying to make the best decision. I'm making
this safest decision. But I can remember my parents loved
Tyler and they're like, you can change your mind, Like
I know it's close, but you can change your mind.
And I just felt like I couldn't. So I think
I always had even from the beginning, like was like
that what if, and like did I make the right decision,
(23:15):
and then when all the Jet stuff came out, I
was like, oh my gosh, I have the worst picker
in the entire world, and um, and yeah, I was
really upset with that, But I think mostly upset because
there were already some signs with Jet that it was
like just not going to work out. And it was
(23:36):
even before that, like really like the next day, I
was like, what did I just do? And Um. Then
I was just so hurt by like, oh my gosh,
like I had at that time, Lily, but two amazing
guys that I really did care for, and I didn't
have the opportunity to like have that happy ending with them,
(24:01):
like that that love story that I maybe could have had.
And then um, but Tyler, I think was the one
that I was like, I don't think I gave it
a chance enough, Like I wish I would have gave
me in a chance sooner. Why don't you think you
gave him a chance? Was he just like always a
pretty boy? I can't see a future with him, because
(24:24):
that's the perception I got from watching the show. Yeah,
for sure. I think I had a lot of and
I talked about us in the book a lot, like
I kept being reminded how I was the dark horse
of being the bachelorette and like, um, you know didn't
always steel worthy myself. And then I'm like, I just
(24:45):
was always suspect of him. I think of like, what
are his intentions? Why is he on here? It's funny
you were doing that with the wrong guy. You choose
the guy that you were worried about. That exact thing
happened with Tyler, for sure, and like, I own up
to that, but I think there was a part of
me that knew he could really hurt me. Tyler could
and like he and eventually did, because you know everything, Um,
(25:10):
and I think I was scared of that, but like
you said, like I ended up instead happened with a
different guy. Um, And I just I don't know. I
just wasn't sure of his intentions and I'm like, why
does he like me? I don't know. And then I
like I truly did fall on the sword with him.
I was very like, this is how I feel about you.
(25:31):
I called him like I feel like I made a mistake.
I know that like you probably moved on, but like
I just felt like I need to tell that, And
I was like I would just love like I don't like,
real life is so different than being on a show,
Like we really haven't spent that much time together, but
I'd love to get to know you more. And he
was like, well I actually so I called him after everything,
(25:54):
but in which while the show was on, he was like, well, actually,
like I thought we could maybe hang out when I
was in California, like doing the um after the Phone Rose,
and I was like I'd love that, like I really
love that. Well then like the producers like find out
that we have talked and they're like, well, would you
ask him that on the finale? And so I called
(26:16):
to him, I was like are you okay with that?
Like I just want to make sure, Um, I think
everyone wanted me to have like this, something to look
forward to and something happy with like an engagement not ending.
And so I like called him like are you okay
with this? Like I know we're not like trying to
like date, but like we just want to get to
(26:37):
know each other again, and he was like yeah. So
when I asked him out, like it was, it was
already like talked about and so I was hopeful and
then we did hang out, um like when because I
had to go to New York and I came back
and it was great, like we just spent the whole
night talking, like we ended up kissing, Like he was
like I haven't felt like he was, like, I have
(26:59):
like talk to different girls, I've been on dates, like
I haven't felt this much even just like a hug
with you than I have with anybody else. And like
you know, I it was very intimate in like vulnerable
and talking about how we still have feelings for each
other and talking about you know, maybe like we kept
getting offered trips and things and like going on these
(27:20):
trips and our mom's meeting, and like I was hopeful,
like I was like wow, like this and and and
at first, like I was timid, like I didn't expect
him to like, yes, be okay, like I knew I
had hurt him, but then I was I was really hopeful.
We talked all the next day and then the next
(27:43):
day and this I've been and when I last saw you,
I can't remember. I did not last, but maybe I
saw you this day. I had to do the whatever
with the ABC UH press day for What's called And
we have been talking that night and then he called
me and he was like Hey, um, you know, I've
(28:05):
been having so much fun talking with you, and like
I really do want to see where this goes, but
I just want to make sure like we're dating other
like that it's okay, we're dating other people, and I
just this is a really quick conversation. I was like, um, yeah,
like I know we're not dating like exclusively or anything,
but like for me, in my heart, I just dated
(28:26):
thirty guys and that didn't work out well. So I
just kind of want to see where this, if this,
if there's any potential in this for me, And he
was like, uh, well, yeah, yeah, I get that. Can
we can we just talk about it later, like I'll
call you later because it was like a quick call
and I was like yeah, sure. I remember I went
to go eat like bossa Nova and then I started
getting these pictures showing up on my phone like a
(28:49):
few hours after we talked of him and Gig together
and I've even talked to him about Gigi following him
And was like, oh, man, like that's really cool, like
you know, talking about it like and that that really
that hurt me truly so bad. I just felt like,
what's going on. I didn't know what was going on
(29:10):
and he didn't call me. And then the next morning
I had to get ready and I was going in
to the fire of press because everything came out, and
I was so confused because like a few hours before,
we were talking about, you know, going on trips together,
like my mom coming to Florida to meet his mom,
like all these things, and uh, yeah, so we had
(29:35):
a conversation on phone. It did not end well. I
was really upset he didn't. I don't think understand what
that felt like for me at that time to have
to go in and now talk about this again. I
just felt really embarrassed and her, and then we didn't
talk for a while, like we were over it. Do
(29:56):
you think that subconsciously he did that to you almost
as revenge because you did it to him effectively you
chose some other person, um and kind of like ripped
ripped his heart out. Do you think that subconscious head
that Um, yeah, we kind of talked about that before.
I think a little. But also like if I had
(30:18):
the opportunity to j g Aded, i'd probably date her too. Um,
But yeah, I think he wanted his opportunity to date.
But at this I think just the way that it
was handled felt really disrespectful, and um, yeah, I think
(30:39):
I think, yeah, I definitely understood, but I think I
needed some communication of like what is going on, because
I mean, I will ask every question. I obviously can
talk to Brick while like I can talk and so like,
I wish you would have told me preparing me a
little bit, because it's not like he was just staying
in some random girls Gigi Hadi like of course that's
(31:01):
gonna come out. Well, yeah, and there's a little bit
of hey, we got passed last night walking out of
Beauty and essex or whatever it is, and I know
this is gonna be coming out, so I better hit
up Hannah before she sees it, Like yeah, there's a
little bit of Okay, I gotta go fix this real
quick because I know it's going to be a thing,
which makes it a little shadier. Yeah. And then then
(31:25):
after that, I was like so like, my I was
so heartbroken, and I but I dried my tears and
I like had to put on the space of being
like this strong, independent woman because that was just what
I felt like I was positioned to be at that point.
And then I was like I'm winning this, dang miraball
(31:46):
like I just really focused on the at because I
was like I need to win. And I think he
like messaged me once for my birthday and I was
just like thanks. And then we saw each other once
at the People's Choice of War and he like came
up to me, and I'll be honest, I was not
very nice, Like he tried to talk to me and
I was like we are not cool, and I'm like
(32:07):
we're not cool, Like I do not want to talk
like talk to you. But then when I saw his
mom and I talked all the time like she would
she really was like a Team Tanna fan and would
like send me like have you are you guys talking yet?
Like send nice things he said about me, and we
(32:27):
just kept a relationship and she I loved her so much.
And um when I saw because I got tagged and
literally everything he ever did that he posted them about
his mom and I had just talked to her two
days before, I was like, what's going on? Like and
(32:48):
at that point, I was like I just want to
reach out and like this is the time that I
want to just be like hey, like praying for you,
and then like he message me. It was like I
was literally just holding my mom's hand, like she loved you.
And I was like, why is he using past hints
and he was like, I was thinking about you, like
(33:09):
she loved you so much, and I'm like what. And
after that, like it was like everything else just like
took a seat and like took a back seat, and um,
I was able to like we we talked. He was like,
I would really love to get on the phone and
just like put everything behind us. And we did. We
really he apologized. We were able to talk to each other.
Like a day later, my brother had an overdose, and um,
(33:33):
I had somebody to talk to with that, and he
was he was there for me and I I don't
think this is a good thing, but I think we
formed a trauma bond where we were both going through
something really traumatic and hard at the same time, and
so we could be there for each other. And I
went down to Florida and during the funeral and everything,
(33:57):
like I was there with him, Like he he made
sure I had somewhere to stay. He stayed with me.
Um we you know, I met all his friends, I
was at everything. He really wanted me to be there
and I was so thankful. And I remember being like wow,
like I really care about this dude, like this guy,
(34:20):
and and telling him and him still saying he cared
about me, but I also knowing he was in this
like really um like terrible situation with like losing his
mom and like having to be there for his family.
So I was not pushing anything, but it was obvious
there was still like something there. And then he invited
(34:41):
me back down. This is before I knew what quarantine was,
and I wanted to get away from my trauma, which
was my brother was a drug abuser and I had
three times the more fat and I'll be like kill
a person. And it was a long time. He had
been struggling for a while and it was kind of
(35:01):
like a little secret our family had, and I was
the person that was able to pay for him to
go to a rehab center, and I like came back
for that and like wished him well, and then I
just wanted to be away because my family was like
just so upset because I mean, he died and it
(35:21):
came back to life like it was it was. It
was traumatizing, and so I left mind my trauma to
go to his. And that was a really like I'll
just say, like that was a hard time to have
any type of relationship. But I don't think it was
really helpful for us because I'm I'm in a place
(35:46):
like I'm not my home territory. I only know people
that are his friends. I'm like staying with his family members,
you know, like I'm staying in his bed with him.
Like there's feelings there, but some days like he just
didn't want to deal with it. But I'm like there,
like what do I do? Did he want you there?
Like I know that you got stuck because of COVID,
but did he want you to stay? Were you like
(36:09):
like almost like a like a comfort for him, like
some sort of pacifier. I think so at some points. Yeah,
I think there were sometimes like he wanted like we
were over each other, like you know, we would literally
not talk for like a day to each other. It
was in a in a small house, But um, yeah,
(36:30):
I think I was, Like I said, I think there
was a trauma bond there that like I was like
literally a figured to be like his comforter or his blanket,
like just somebody to be there. But for somebody who
has emotions and like feelings for somebody it was it
would really toy with my head. And of course I
did want to be like what am I doing here?
(36:51):
And he did not want to talk about it, and
that was really hard and it calls a lot of friction,
and um then it like really messed with my head
because and I'm like, why this guy who said he
loved me and you know, we haven't been intimate, like
he he hasn't even tried to make a move on me.
And then I'm like, oh my gosh, what's wrong with me?
You know? And then I go into what every girl
(37:11):
goes into and not that I don't think he meant
that at all, but like it just caused some insecurities
to come up. Um. But like in all that, like
I think, like I don't I'm not trying to say
anything bad about him. I think he could have handled
a lot of things differently. And then like even after
the fact of like him being like we're still like
(37:33):
I just let's just figure it out. I'm like, what
does figure it out mean? You know? What does what
does that mean? Because figuring out gives me hope? And
I don't want to have like hope if like you
don't want to be with me, and like are we
do you just want to be friends and he's like,
I want to be friends and like see where it goes.
And I'm like, you can't say that. Don't say where
(37:54):
it goes because I don't know how to hand like,
I don't know what to do with that. So we
just had a lot of like, yeah, there was just
a lot that happened, and um, ultimately, I just don't
think that timing ever worked out for us and if
we are really what each other wants, but we have
(38:14):
such we you know, we just had a connection because
of everything we've been through. Well, listen, I feel like
I could do like three more hours with you on this, Um,
But I guess that's a good cliffhanger for everyone out
there listening. If you want to hear the rest of
the story, go by Hannah's new book, God Bless This Mess,
(38:34):
Learning to Live and Love through Life's and through life's
best and worst moments. It's out now. Um, do you
do the audio book? Are you inaudible? I did do
the audio. Yes, I feel like a sound an accent. Well, hey, listen, UM,
it's good to see you. Congratulations on on releasing this book.
I know it's not easy to to write a book,
(38:57):
let alone write a book about your life. Let alone
write a book about your life, which you know has
a lot of ups and downs, which I'm sure was difficult.
So I applaud you for your bravery in doing that.
I imagine this is going to help a lot of
girls out there who are going through not the same thing,
but similar things with boys and stuff. So, UM, you rock,
(39:18):
and it's always wonderful to talk to you. You're the
best interview ever you can. Literally, I can ask you
one question, you'll go for forty five minutes. I know
it's bad. I'm definitely long winded, but I'll give you
all the information. Is there anything else you want to
promote while you're here? Um, yeah, I'm gonna be doing
some uh if you're in the Los Angeles area on
(39:40):
December four, I'm going to have a UM live show. UM.
Tonny rad is going to be my moderator. We're gonna
talk about the book and UM it'll be a good time.
It's December four at the Hollywood Improv. You can get
tickets on my link tree in my bio at Hannah
Brown on Instagram And if you're in Alabama, I'll be
(40:01):
UM doing some book signings at local Barnes and Nobles
and books A millions to check that out, but it'll
all be on my Instagram for any information. Well, thanks again, Hannah.
And also we didn't even get to talk about it,
and I feel bad, but shout out to your current
boyfriend Adam, who's I'm sure having to uh wait through
a lot of crap right now, So shout out to
(40:23):
him for being a good man and having to uh
kind of deal with this right now. Hannah, thank you
so much. It's wonderful talking with you, and I hope
to see again soon, maybe at the next Golden Clube. Yes, maybe,
all right, see you. Follow the Benn and Ashley I
Almost Famous podcasts on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever
you listen to podcasts.
This is the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
with I R Radio. What's up bats Nation. I know
what you're thinking, this is in Ben's voice, and you're
also thinking this is in Ashley's voice or if it is,
man pregnancy is really taking a hard left turn for
her vocal cords. Nope, this is your favorite friendly bartender
(00:23):
slash master of ceremonies. Wells Adams, I'm filling in because
guess what you know. Ben's in the Islands with his
brand new bride, Jess, and they are doing sexy stuff
down there, which means he can't host his own podcast.
And Ashley is I assume about ready to pop. I
(00:46):
don't know how these things work, but I do know
that she is carrying a bib, which means, um, I
don't think she can do the podcast today. So yeah,
you get me. Sorry, but that's how it goes. Anyways.
I'm excited to do this show, not because I don't
love coming on the Almost Famous podcasts and chit chatting
(01:07):
with all of you, but because of the guests that
we are going to have today. Hannaby Hannah Brown. She's
got a new book out called God Bless This Mess,
and uh well, she has dropped a lot of Hannah bombs,
to be fair, lots of them. We found out just
a couple of days ago Visa VI every tabloid magazine
that apparently she was hooking up with Peter after a
(01:31):
season while he was still with I don't know whoever
he picked at the end of that thing. Not sure
we're gonna get to the bottom of that. We also
learned more about her relationship with Tyler Cameron. What really
went down during that quarantine crew situation down in Florida.
Were they going to Pound Town during that time? Were
they not? I don't know, but we're gonna get the answers.
(01:52):
So Yeah, decided to talk to Hannah By about her
new book. God bless this mess. So just trying to
do a mental tally in my head. Hannah Be's got
a book out, Ben's got a book out called Alone
in Plain Site. I believe Ashley and Jared have a
children's book out. I believe Peter has a book out.
I believe um Mike Johnson has a book out, which
(02:15):
begs the question were you ever really on the Bachelor
of the bat Serette if you haven't published a book?
Also begs the question, who's writing this stuff? Well, I
guess you guys are, but we're gonna give you the
cliff notes. Today, in other Bachelor news, I saw that
Katie is no longer with Blake shockingly enough, but she's
now with that guy John, which she kicked off the show.
(02:37):
I guess way to go. Also saw that Tasia is
no longer with Zach Claire of course, no longer with
Dale Colton. I guess he's got a Netflix show coming out.
Matt and Rachel are still together, which that one's actually
a shocker. I would just like to say that the
b I p relationships, the show that I work on,
the show that let's be fair, that I host uh
(02:59):
doing well. Dean and Kaylan strong, Hannah, Dylan strong, Joan
Serena strong, Ashley and Jared this is strong. Having a kid.
Tanner and Jade this is strong. Rusta and Riley strong.
I think Noan Abigail are back together, Mary and Kenny strong,
Becca and Thomas they broke up. They're going strong. Listen.
I'm not saying that I'm the reason why it's successful.
(03:22):
I'm just saying that the show that I work on
is killing its Also, my dogs are barking in the
background because they agree with me that b I P
Is the place to go to find love. All right,
off the soapbox, down to the interview. Let's get Hannah
by Online Hannah by Hannah Brown. What's up, dude, Hey,
(03:57):
nothing much, just uh moaning a book. I had a
book come out. I know, should I write a book?
I feel like I'm the only person from the Bachelor
world that has written a book. I mean, why not?
What would mind be about? You? Think? Um? I felt
you have a lot of stories to tell being a
bartender on Bachelor in Paradise. Yes, but I am still
(04:21):
under contract. There is an NDA hanging over my head,
which I assume, Uh, you are free and clear of
hence why this beautiful publication has reached the bookshelves. Well,
I don't know if I'm even free. I think that
it lasts forever, um parts of it, so uh, you know,
I had to make sure everything was was okay. Um,
(04:43):
But yeah, I think we're always under when I'm pretty sure. Yeah,
you never you never get away from it. I gotta say,
you dropped some freaking bombs in this book. I haven't
read it because I believe it's out like today today. U. Um,
but I'm excited to talk to you and go through
(05:03):
kind of all the the stuff that you that you
revealed in it. Um. I will say, I think the
last time I saw you, it was back when we
were able to go to parties and experience the world.
And was it the Was it the Emmy's Yeah, I
think so, yeah, the Emmys it was? Was it the
(05:26):
Golden Globes? Yeah, one of those. Um. Yeah. I feel like,
you know, I had a really weird like I was
a bachelorrette at a really weird time because I went
straight from being on the Bachelorette to like being on
Dancing with Stars and then like I just started to
(05:47):
be able to hang out with people and then like
a pandemic happened. Yeah, so um, and then you know,
had like my own mental breakdowns and stuff. So uh yeah,
I haven't really seen many pool from the franchise since
since then. Okay, well I gotta ask because you, um,
(06:08):
you unleash a lot of I get. I don't know
if it's dirt, but information in this book. Have you
talked to like so I know that like Peter's in
the crosshairs, Tyler gets a lot of love. By the way,
am I in this fucking book? Am I? Do I
have a chapter or something that I don't know about? Um,
you did not make the final Edits okay, good news
(06:28):
for me. I'm just waiting for like the Daily Mail
to let me know that I've done something wrong. So
my first question is this, like, do you give those
people that are in your book the heads up that
you're having a book? Uh that's coming out that has
information about their lives? Um? Yes, and I mean like
Tyler knew because we were kind of writing books at
(06:51):
the same time. Uh. But no, I didn't like give
them the heads up because I really try had to
make sure. Yes, there was things about our personal lives
in there, but we also have shared our personal lives
on camera, and UM, I felt like it was really
(07:12):
important for me to share my honest, true story and
and everything that I put in there. I wouldn't say
it was dirt because I wasn't trying to be like
mean spirited or put blame on anybody for any experience
because I really tried to, um have awareness for how
(07:33):
I played a part and everything too. So UM, even
though yes, there were things that I revealed that people
didn't know. It wasn't in a malicious way or to
like put people under attack. It was just like it
was things that affected me and had last lasting impacts
and I think a lot of people connect with and so, um,
(07:55):
yeah people. I didn't like let everyone know what was
going to be in the book because as I didn't
really let people read the book before, not even my parents.
So everybody is just having all these surprises. Have your
folks read it now? Have my parents read it now? No? They,
(08:15):
I mean they get their books today. My dad was
so sweet he bought he bought a few books for
me to sign when I get back home. But they
do know what's in there, like they haven't read it,
but like I was very honest that I was going
to be honest about the things that affected me from
my childhood and forward. And they're aware that our family
(08:36):
has gone through a lot of challenges but also we've
grown through that. Um. And my parents were like, look
like write your story, we support you, we love you,
and kind of just gave me free range. The books
called God Bless this mess, Learning to Live and Love
through life's best and then in parentheses worst moments, Um,
(08:59):
I hate do this but I gotta ask the questions
about the specifics of the book. I think the one
that that this audience cares about, which is your relationship
with Peter. And so I guess I'm fuzzy on this.
I've read the headlines, but your relationship with Peter. I
guess after he finished um filming Bachelor, you guys had
(09:25):
a hook up session, but he was still kind of
with Madison or Hannah. I don't know who he was with,
but um, so what happened. So the last time I
saw Peter was him you know, I was on Lazy
with Stars. He was a Bachelor. I went on the show.
Last time I saw him, he said he would lead
(09:48):
the show to be with me. And that was really
hard because I felt like I had just gone through
like two pretty major blows to my heart, my ego,
everything with thinking that two guys who told me that
they loved me want to be with me. Um, it
didn't work out, And I think at that point, I'm like,
(10:11):
oh my gosh, the only guy who actually loved me
cared about me isn't out the Bachelor. And now they're
I'm being now I have to go on this show again,
and I'm like a mess. And I think a lot
of emotions just came from me, just not like just
being like it was this even real, Like how have
I let this affect me so much? And now I
(10:33):
do not want to be back in this setting. And
so the last time everybody sees me together with Peter,
but also just for myself before um, everything that happened
after the show, Uh, I was left with I told him, like,
you know, I'm not gonna be dating anybody if it
doesn't work out for you, like I'd love to go
(10:53):
on a date. Well, of course, like we know, he
ends up getting engaged on the show, and um, I
was happy for him and like, but I think there
was still like this weird like that's the last time
I talked to him, was you wanted me to say
I could be with him? So I was really confused.
So we had I think there was talks of us
(11:17):
having a conversation on camera after the fact, because it
was left so unsettled, and I'm like, I'm not doing that,
Like I don't think either, I'm not doing that. So
I think I messaged him was like I think we
were both getting contacted about should we somehow have some
type of resolve. So we just got on the phone
(11:39):
and talked to each other, and um, it was really
good to catch up and I think it allowed us
like there's only a few people that can understand what
it's like to be a lead of that show. It's
it's really hard, and I mean being a part of
the show. I think it's just hard in general. But
(12:00):
that world One really connected us, and I think he
looked at me as somebody that he could talk to
when it was filming, So we kind of like stayed
in touch a little, but nothing like crossing the line
at all. It was just like supporting him talking through
especially like the first two episodes I was in and
(12:21):
knowing he was with somebody, like it was all just
kind of it was weird, and I didn't really I
wasn't really happy about being a part of all that
because I knew I was really emotional. So anyway, how
all that Hannah Godwin and Dylan's party engagement party is
um where we saw each other for the first time,
(12:45):
and it was weird because like Jed was there with
his girl, like his new girlfriend Peter was there. At
one point, they like preparing me that Tyler was going
to be there, and I'm like, oh gosh, this is
going to be interesting because I haven't seen anybody. And
then all the rest of my ex boyfriends were there too,
so it was like I was really nervous going in there. Um.
(13:07):
But Peter was like, I have so much to tell you,
like when we said hello, and I was like what
does that mean? Like he was like, oh, I just
have so much telling you and I was like, well,
let's talk. Well, the producers were there at the show,
I mean at the party, and like kept keeping us
away from each other, and so I was like I
want to know, like what what are you talking about?
(13:27):
So you like texted me afterwards and it was like
come outside, and so we sat we actually like sat
in a driveway for a little bit and like around
the corner and just talked. And it got late and
he like driving me home. We kept talking and it
was all just about the experience and then yeah, I
he was like, well I have a flight in the morning,
(13:49):
Like you want to keep talking and we'll go to
Wooden Hills and I was like sure. It was like
and I'll drive you back, like let's just and I'm
like okay, like sure, like truly not thinking anything more
than we're just like catching up and that's what it
felt like. That's what it felt like. And then um, yeah,
I get there, like he texted me. I mean, he
(14:11):
like tells me in the car as mom texted him,
and he's like, my mom's still up. She would love
to talk to you. Okay. I end up like being
in their living room with barbed for like two and
a half hours. Peter goes upstairs and leaves me down there,
and I'm like what do I do at this point?
(14:31):
Like now I'm like here, Like what do I do?
Like I don't have a ride home, Like it's like
some ungodly hour and yeah, Like then I she was like,
well you want to just stay here? I can like
make you a bed, and I'm like he's like you
like Peter's already in bed at States like by the way,
(14:54):
By the way, Barbara is the best wingman I've ever
heard of in my entire life. She is always trying
to get her son whatever continue on. I know. So
I'm like, okay, whatever, and like she's always been kind
to me, but she was not having Madison. Um Hannah
(15:15):
Ann and Peter had already been broken up like he
had already ended the engagement. So that's what he was
telling me all about like how all that happened, blah
blah blah everything, and then the whole like Madison thing
was going on, and at that point he was like,
I think it's just like over, like I'm just gonna
focus on like and I'm like, okay, whatever. They weren't talking. Well,
(15:39):
I am not in the best emotional place myself, Like
I will be completely honest, it was you know, I've
worked a lot this past year and a half to
like really and like hell from all that. And so
I went to his brother's room and then Peter texted
(15:59):
me and was like, come cuddle, and I was. I
remember like sitting there like yeah, I don't know, there's
obvious there was still like some like chemistry, and I'm like,
you know, at this point, I'm like, none of these
guys loved me and I want I wanted that so
bad and I think because of that, I made really
(16:19):
poor decisions for myself. And I went in there and
I can remember knowing like this is such a bad idea,
like this is just not I don't need to be here,
And when you know, we ended up hooking up, and
it was just kind of like I remember being like
what did I just do? Like this was not good
(16:41):
for anybody, but also being like so confused, and then
like was he into it? Though? Like was it? You know?
Waking up the next morning was like gazing into your eyes? No, No,
it was really I felt really it was like he
had to go into work and I'm like he's like,
(17:02):
all right, well, like I'm gonna I gotta get ready, um,
if you want to come downstairs, my my dad's downstairs,
would love to see you. And I'm like You've got
like you've got to be kidding me, Like I'm dying,
Like what am I gonna do? He's like it's gotten
really late, like I overslept, like I'm gonna have to
go and I'm like wait what and he hands me
(17:27):
money to get an uber ah, And that just like
that was when I was like this is I was
just kind of done after that, which I knew immediately,
like I didn't feel like the chemistry, but then it
was like what is this? And then like I went
(17:47):
home and I'm like I just had coffee with Peter's
dad in a robe. I just spent the night at
his house and I'm like the show so on, Like
I'm like, what what just happened to me? And I
get at home and then like he texted me and
it was like so good to see you, but it
was so great catching like something like really like I'm
(18:08):
glad we have each other. I'm like, wait what, And
I was like, why are you being so nonchalant about this?
Like I don't know if that was such a good idea,
like it was and at that point, and then he
like calls me and like starts wanting to talk about
Madison with me literally the next day, talking about how
he's still like cares about Madison and I'm like, wait,
(18:32):
I don't know why I'm in the position, but I
don't like it, and um, it was just so messy.
And then like I'm watching, like knowing all this has happened,
and I was kind of over after that, like after
the next like the few texts and things between us,
I was like very turn off, Like I already was
(18:55):
turned off by like very turned off about how it
was all handled because I'm like this guy, sweet guy,
He's not okay right now, not making great decisions, and
I'm obviously not making great decisions either. And I think
at that point I was like, there's there's not anything
here anymore, Like it's already dead. I mean, he's making
(19:15):
a lot of f boy maneuvers, maneuvers like the text
message like that's basically like suck you up, and then
like the here's twenty bucks for your uber home and
then like the next day texting you and being like
love seeing your bud. That's not what you say to
(19:35):
someone you slept with and I were hooked up with
the night before, and then want advice about another girl. Yeah,
I was just like what And it's so like I
think Peter has a kind heart. I really do. Like
I'm not trying to like talk shit about him at all,
but I'm just telling the abviious this is what the
(19:56):
experience that I had. And um, then like to see
how he then was with Kelly at some point and
then like how everything played out, and then he starts
doing press and like sends me a text message basically
to make sure that I'm on the same page of
(20:17):
what he says for press. And that was when I
was just like I wasn't gonna say anything anyway, but um,
I was just really over it and that thing. That's
when I really going to be like distance myself from everything.
And um, but he did apologize, Like he sent me
(20:37):
a few messages apologizing even before the book came out.
But at that point I was just especially after all
that and like that kind of being where I'm like,
I want to separate myself from this for a while,
just for for protecting myself and in my heart and
needing to heal from everything. Um. So, yeah, have you
(20:58):
talked to him? Have you talked to him? The book
has come out? Um, he sent me a text about
it and was really kind. Um did it say hey,
come snuggle. No it didn't. It didn't say that, but
he took it really well. I haven't really messaged him
back yet, but um, because I think he wanted to,
(21:19):
you know, talk about it more publicly. And I don't
think there's really much more to say. Yeah, so but
I wish him well, I really do. Like like I said,
like all the guys that I talked about, I am
not trying to be malicious at all, and I all
like I've seen parts of their their heart that are
really great. Um. And and I wholeheartedly say that, but
(21:41):
in this experiences I learned that maybe my old patterns
and um, like the the way that I was feeling
in the emotions I had just didn't allow me to
have a safe, healthy relationship with with anybody at the time. Listen,
(22:10):
I'm running out of time with you. We only got
through the Peter of it all. I do need to know,
like I need to know the Tyler Cameron g thing
into quarantine because it seems like it seems even more
awkward than having coffee with Barb and Peter's dad after
(22:34):
the hook up session the g and yeah, that was
that was really hard. And I think that's where like
I taught I immediately after I got engaged to Jed
was still like very open about like I don't know
(22:54):
if I'm okay, Like I still have feelings for other people,
Like I'm trying to make the best decision. I'm making
this safest decision. But I can remember my parents loved
Tyler and they're like, you can change your mind, Like
I know it's close, but you can change your mind.
And I just felt like I couldn't. So I think
I always had even from the beginning, like was like
that what if, and like did I make the right decision,
(23:15):
and then when all the Jet stuff came out, I
was like, oh my gosh, I have the worst picker
in the entire world, and um, and yeah, I was
really upset with that, But I think mostly upset because
there were already some signs with Jet that it was
like just not going to work out. And it was
(23:36):
even before that, like really like the next day, I
was like, what did I just do? And Um. Then
I was just so hurt by like, oh my gosh,
like I had at that time, Lily, but two amazing
guys that I really did care for, and I didn't
have the opportunity to like have that happy ending with them,
(24:01):
like that that love story that I maybe could have had.
And then um, but Tyler, I think was the one
that I was like, I don't think I gave it
a chance enough, Like I wish I would have gave
me in a chance sooner. Why don't you think you
gave him a chance? Was he just like always a
pretty boy? I can't see a future with him, because
(24:24):
that's the perception I got from watching the show. Yeah,
for sure. I think I had a lot of and
I talked about us in the book a lot, like
I kept being reminded how I was the dark horse
of being the bachelorette and like, um, you know didn't
always steel worthy myself. And then I'm like, I just
(24:45):
was always suspect of him. I think of like, what
are his intentions? Why is he on here? It's funny
you were doing that with the wrong guy. You choose
the guy that you were worried about. That exact thing
happened with Tyler, for sure, and like, I own up
to that, but I think there was a part of
me that knew he could really hurt me. Tyler could
and like he and eventually did, because you know everything, Um,
(25:10):
and I think I was scared of that, but like
you said, like I ended up instead happened with a
different guy. Um, And I just I don't know. I
just wasn't sure of his intentions and I'm like, why
does he like me? I don't know. And then I
like I truly did fall on the sword with him.
I was very like, this is how I feel about you.
(25:31):
I called him like I feel like I made a mistake.
I know that like you probably moved on, but like
I just felt like I need to tell that, And
I was like I would just love like I don't like,
real life is so different than being on a show,
Like we really haven't spent that much time together, but
I'd love to get to know you more. And he
was like, well I actually so I called him after everything,
(25:54):
but in which while the show was on, he was like, well, actually,
like I thought we could maybe hang out when I
was in California, like doing the um after the Phone Rose,
and I was like I'd love that, like I really
love that. Well then like the producers like find out
that we have talked and they're like, well, would you
ask him that on the finale? And so I called
(26:16):
to him, I was like are you okay with that?
Like I just want to make sure, Um, I think
everyone wanted me to have like this, something to look
forward to and something happy with like an engagement not ending.
And so I like called him like are you okay
with this? Like I know we're not like trying to
like date, but like we just want to get to
(26:37):
know each other again, and he was like yeah. So
when I asked him out, like it was, it was
already like talked about and so I was hopeful and
then we did hang out, um like when because I
had to go to New York and I came back
and it was great, like we just spent the whole
night talking, like we ended up kissing, Like he was
like I haven't felt like he was, like, I have
(26:59):
like talk to different girls, I've been on dates, like
I haven't felt this much even just like a hug
with you than I have with anybody else. And like
you know, I it was very intimate in like vulnerable
and talking about how we still have feelings for each
other and talking about you know, maybe like we kept
getting offered trips and things and like going on these
(27:20):
trips and our mom's meeting, and like I was hopeful,
like I was like wow, like this and and and
at first, like I was timid, like I didn't expect
him to like, yes, be okay, like I knew I
had hurt him, but then I was I was really hopeful.
We talked all the next day and then the next
(27:43):
day and this I've been and when I last saw you,
I can't remember. I did not last, but maybe I
saw you this day. I had to do the whatever
with the ABC UH press day for What's called And
we have been talking that night and then he called
me and he was like Hey, um, you know, I've
(28:05):
been having so much fun talking with you, and like
I really do want to see where this goes, but
I just want to make sure like we're dating other
like that it's okay, we're dating other people, and I
just this is a really quick conversation. I was like, um, yeah,
like I know we're not dating like exclusively or anything,
but like for me, in my heart, I just dated
(28:26):
thirty guys and that didn't work out well. So I
just kind of want to see where this, if this,
if there's any potential in this for me, And he
was like, uh, well, yeah, yeah, I get that. Can
we can we just talk about it later, like I'll
call you later because it was like a quick call
and I was like yeah, sure. I remember I went
to go eat like bossa Nova and then I started
getting these pictures showing up on my phone like a
(28:49):
few hours after we talked of him and Gig together
and I've even talked to him about Gigi following him
And was like, oh, man, like that's really cool, like
you know, talking about it like and that that really
that hurt me truly so bad. I just felt like,
what's going on. I didn't know what was going on
(29:10):
and he didn't call me. And then the next morning
I had to get ready and I was going in
to the fire of press because everything came out, and
I was so confused because like a few hours before,
we were talking about, you know, going on trips together,
like my mom coming to Florida to meet his mom,
like all these things, and uh, yeah, so we had
(29:35):
a conversation on phone. It did not end well. I
was really upset he didn't. I don't think understand what
that felt like for me at that time to have
to go in and now talk about this again. I
just felt really embarrassed and her, and then we didn't
talk for a while, like we were over it. Do
(29:56):
you think that subconsciously he did that to you almost
as revenge because you did it to him effectively you
chose some other person, um and kind of like ripped
ripped his heart out. Do you think that subconscious head
that Um, yeah, we kind of talked about that before.
I think a little. But also like if I had
(30:18):
the opportunity to j g Aded, i'd probably date her too. Um,
But yeah, I think he wanted his opportunity to date.
But at this I think just the way that it
was handled felt really disrespectful, and um, yeah, I think
(30:39):
I think, yeah, I definitely understood, but I think I
needed some communication of like what is going on, because
I mean, I will ask every question. I obviously can
talk to Brick while like I can talk and so like,
I wish you would have told me preparing me a
little bit, because it's not like he was just staying
in some random girls Gigi Hadi like of course that's
(31:01):
gonna come out. Well, yeah, and there's a little bit
of hey, we got passed last night walking out of
Beauty and essex or whatever it is, and I know
this is gonna be coming out, so I better hit
up Hannah before she sees it, Like yeah, there's a
little bit of Okay, I gotta go fix this real
quick because I know it's going to be a thing,
which makes it a little shadier. Yeah. And then then
(31:25):
after that, I was like so like, my I was
so heartbroken, and I but I dried my tears and
I like had to put on the space of being
like this strong, independent woman because that was just what
I felt like I was positioned to be at that point.
And then I was like I'm winning this, dang miraball
(31:46):
like I just really focused on the at because I
was like I need to win. And I think he
like messaged me once for my birthday and I was
just like thanks. And then we saw each other once
at the People's Choice of War and he like came
up to me, and I'll be honest, I was not
very nice, Like he tried to talk to me and
I was like we are not cool, and I'm like
(32:07):
we're not cool, Like I do not want to talk
like talk to you. But then when I saw his
mom and I talked all the time like she would
she really was like a Team Tanna fan and would
like send me like have you are you guys talking yet?
Like send nice things he said about me, and we
(32:27):
just kept a relationship and she I loved her so much.
And um when I saw because I got tagged and
literally everything he ever did that he posted them about
his mom and I had just talked to her two
days before, I was like, what's going on? Like and
(32:48):
at that point, I was like I just want to
reach out and like this is the time that I
want to just be like hey, like praying for you,
and then like he message me. It was like I
was literally just holding my mom's hand, like she loved you.
And I was like, why is he using past hints
and he was like, I was thinking about you, like
(33:09):
she loved you so much, and I'm like what. And
after that, like it was like everything else just like
took a seat and like took a back seat, and um,
I was able to like we we talked. He was like,
I would really love to get on the phone and
just like put everything behind us. And we did. We
really he apologized. We were able to talk to each other.
Like a day later, my brother had an overdose, and um,
(33:33):
I had somebody to talk to with that, and he
was he was there for me and I I don't
think this is a good thing, but I think we
formed a trauma bond where we were both going through
something really traumatic and hard at the same time, and
so we could be there for each other. And I
went down to Florida and during the funeral and everything,
(33:57):
like I was there with him, Like he he made
sure I had somewhere to stay. He stayed with me.
Um we you know, I met all his friends, I
was at everything. He really wanted me to be there
and I was so thankful. And I remember being like wow,
like I really care about this dude, like this guy,
(34:20):
and and telling him and him still saying he cared
about me, but I also knowing he was in this
like really um like terrible situation with like losing his
mom and like having to be there for his family.
So I was not pushing anything, but it was obvious
there was still like something there. And then he invited
(34:41):
me back down. This is before I knew what quarantine was,
and I wanted to get away from my trauma, which
was my brother was a drug abuser and I had
three times the more fat and I'll be like kill
a person. And it was a long time. He had
been struggling for a while and it was kind of
(35:01):
like a little secret our family had, and I was
the person that was able to pay for him to
go to a rehab center, and I like came back
for that and like wished him well, and then I
just wanted to be away because my family was like
just so upset because I mean, he died and it
(35:21):
came back to life like it was it was. It
was traumatizing, and so I left mind my trauma to
go to his. And that was a really like I'll
just say, like that was a hard time to have
any type of relationship. But I don't think it was
really helpful for us because I'm I'm in a place
(35:46):
like I'm not my home territory. I only know people
that are his friends. I'm like staying with his family members,
you know, like I'm staying in his bed with him.
Like there's feelings there, but some days like he just
didn't want to deal with it. But I'm like there,
like what do I do? Did he want you there?
Like I know that you got stuck because of COVID,
but did he want you to stay? Were you like
(36:09):
like almost like a like a comfort for him, like
some sort of pacifier. I think so at some points. Yeah,
I think there were sometimes like he wanted like we
were over each other, like you know, we would literally
not talk for like a day to each other. It
was in a in a small house, But um, yeah,
(36:30):
I think I was, Like I said, I think there
was a trauma bond there that like I was like
literally a figured to be like his comforter or his blanket,
like just somebody to be there. But for somebody who
has emotions and like feelings for somebody it was it
would really toy with my head. And of course I
did want to be like what am I doing here?
(36:51):
And he did not want to talk about it, and
that was really hard and it calls a lot of friction,
and um then it like really messed with my head
because and I'm like, why this guy who said he
loved me and you know, we haven't been intimate, like
he he hasn't even tried to make a move on me.
And then I'm like, oh my gosh, what's wrong with me?
You know? And then I go into what every girl
(37:11):
goes into and not that I don't think he meant
that at all, but like it just caused some insecurities
to come up. Um. But like in all that, like
I think, like I don't I'm not trying to say
anything bad about him. I think he could have handled
a lot of things differently. And then like even after
the fact of like him being like we're still like
(37:33):
I just let's just figure it out. I'm like, what
does figure it out mean? You know? What does what
does that mean? Because figuring out gives me hope? And
I don't want to have like hope if like you
don't want to be with me, and like are we
do you just want to be friends and he's like,
I want to be friends and like see where it goes.
And I'm like, you can't say that. Don't say where
(37:54):
it goes because I don't know how to hand like,
I don't know what to do with that. So we
just had a lot of like, yeah, there was just
a lot that happened, and um, ultimately, I just don't
think that timing ever worked out for us and if
we are really what each other wants, but we have
(38:14):
such we you know, we just had a connection because
of everything we've been through. Well, listen, I feel like
I could do like three more hours with you on this, Um,
But I guess that's a good cliffhanger for everyone out
there listening. If you want to hear the rest of
the story, go by Hannah's new book, God Bless This Mess,
(38:34):
Learning to Live and Love through Life's and through life's
best and worst moments. It's out now. Um, do you
do the audio book? Are you inaudible? I did do
the audio. Yes, I feel like a sound an accent. Well, hey, listen, UM,
it's good to see you. Congratulations on on releasing this book.
I know it's not easy to to write a book,
(38:57):
let alone write a book about your life. Let alone
write a book about your life, which you know has
a lot of ups and downs, which I'm sure was difficult.
So I applaud you for your bravery in doing that.
I imagine this is going to help a lot of
girls out there who are going through not the same thing,
but similar things with boys and stuff. So, UM, you rock,
(39:18):
and it's always wonderful to talk to you. You're the
best interview ever you can. Literally, I can ask you
one question, you'll go for forty five minutes. I know
it's bad. I'm definitely long winded, but I'll give you
all the information. Is there anything else you want to
promote while you're here? Um, yeah, I'm gonna be doing
some uh if you're in the Los Angeles area on
(39:40):
December four, I'm going to have a UM live show. UM.
Tonny rad is going to be my moderator. We're gonna
talk about the book and UM it'll be a good time.
It's December four at the Hollywood Improv. You can get
tickets on my link tree in my bio at Hannah
Brown on Instagram And if you're in Alabama, I'll be
(40:01):
UM doing some book signings at local Barnes and Nobles
and books A millions to check that out, but it'll
all be on my Instagram for any information. Well, thanks again, Hannah.
And also we didn't even get to talk about it,
and I feel bad, but shout out to your current
boyfriend Adam, who's I'm sure having to uh wait through
a lot of crap right now, So shout out to
(40:23):
him for being a good man and having to uh
kind of deal with this right now. Hannah, thank you
so much. It's wonderful talking with you, and I hope
to see again soon, maybe at the next Golden Clube. Yes, maybe,
all right, see you. Follow the Benn and Ashley I
Almost Famous podcasts on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever
you listen to podcasts.
Hosts And Creators
Ben Higgins
Ashley Iaconetti
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