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January 16, 2025 33 mins

Amy and TJ know all the dating trends that 2025 is bringing! (Including dopamine dates and the micro-mance)

Is the key to a long-lasting marriage...distance? 
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hey there, folks, this is I Do Part two, the
podcast where if you got love right the first time,
you need to go ahead and stop listening right now,
because this podcast ain't for you. It's for those of
us who didn't get love right the first time, or
maybe the second time. There's someone didn't get it right
the third or the fourth, that's okay. We are here
for the folks who have not given up on love

(00:35):
and still have hope of getting it right. We are
a couple of your hosts. I'm TJ.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Holmes and I'm Amy Roeboch. And yeah, it's a new year.
It's twenty twenty five, which means there are new trends
in dating.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
Did you know that, t J?

Speaker 1 (00:48):
I didn't know. Well, I'm not dating. But if you
think I need to use these, no that these will
come in handy. I am now listening.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
No, no, no, no, But we are there for you,
for those of you who are dating, you're single, you're
ready to mingle, you want to couple up, it's cuffing season,
all those things.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
So it's new right for some people. Some people are
newly single, are they not?

Speaker 2 (01:08):
That's true, that's true. The new year can bring a
lot of new opportunities. It could close some chapters and
some old love. So yeah, a lot of people are
starting a new and they've got a new energized excitement
about finding that person, that soulmate, that soul mate yeah life. Yeah,
isn't everybody looking for the loves of their life?

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, and look, this is an opportunity. This is actually
for a lot of people. A they're single voluntarily. This
isn't just a matter we talk so often about people
looking for somebody and I can't find. Well, a lot
of people are very happy right now to be single,
and it happens a lot uncoupling happens around the holiday. Right,
you're looking for a new opportunity. It's New Year's eve.
I don't want to kiss you go up as again.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
And so, yes, people are starting the new year, and
we wanted to pass along some of these new dating trends.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
It could help you on your journey.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
Right. So the first one, and this is interesting, we're
told one of the new dating trends of twenty twenty
five is the return of romance. I didn't know it
went away, but apparently many folks are embracing romantic gestures
and a significant number of you identify as a romantic,

(02:24):
would you say you are a romantic?

Speaker 3 (02:26):
TJ.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
Well, I don't think that's for me to say. Is
it is for you? Is it not? I would? I
like gestures. I like simplicity. I like I guess you
could call it old school, just a simple sending flowers
when it's not the birthday or it's not Valentine's Day,
it's just a random Wednesday, and I wanted to say

(02:47):
I love you or I miss you. Those types of
gestures I suppose are romantic. But the I love that idea.
I get caught up in it as well, but unfortunately
it's not the reality for so many people, and some
people the same to thing that's like those are outdated.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
I don't think they are at all.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
And you are a romantic, by the way, and you
are good at that, and I definitely would identify as
a romantic as well. I like all the little small gestures.
I like those small reminders, a note that just says
I love you, you know, or a little meme. We
have our little memes that we send each other.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, so this is key. Now, when you talk about
being a romantic, it was always a matter of a
gesture that the guy does or you, Is there anything
a woman can do as a romantic and you be
a romantic but be giving.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
I would absolutely say so yes, so bye bye. It
is that same notion of saying I love you, of
sending you something, or reminding someone throughout the day when
it's unexpected that I'm thinking of you, or I can't
wait to see you, those types of things. And I mean,
you can go as much as if you've been in
a longer relationship setting up a date or create an

(04:00):
experience gift where you say we're going to go somewhere together,
we're going to do something, We're gonna date each other.
I think we take each other for granted sometimes. So yeah,
those are all romantic gestures I feel like. Anyway, Apparently
Bumble is predicting fifty five percent of women in the
United States this year will proclaim themselves as romantics. I'm
surprised it's fifty five percent guys lower high, Yeah, I

(04:20):
think it's low low.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
I mean, I maybe I only know the world through
my own lens, but it just seems like more women
than not.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yeah, what does that you say? No, you say chivalry
is dead? Not Yeah, not romance. You say chivalry is dead.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah, randos aren't holding the door open or letting women
leave the elevator first or get into the subway car first.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, that's dead.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Another trend intentional connections. So singles are moving away from
swiping left or right and just kind of seeing what happens,
but focusing on finding that deeper, more meaningful relationship connection
not a situationship.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
I'm rolling my eyes because I have I I tune
out every time I hear deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships.
Why because you have me watching all these damn love
Islands of the World and all these dating shows where
every time I hear it all the time, I'm looking
for a deeper connection. I want something more meaningful. Yeah,
she's hot. Did you see that data? It's so I

(05:23):
kind of tune out. What does that even mean? I
get what it means I suppose supposed to mean.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
But is that really I think it means it's not
just about sex. Oh?

Speaker 1 (05:31):
Is that what is supposed?

Speaker 2 (05:33):
I mean?

Speaker 1 (05:33):
More meaningful and swipe based?

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yeah, because swipe based is like what you're doing right now.
It's the booty call, kind of like the accepted booty
call right, booty call app?

Speaker 1 (05:42):
It can be not booty are that booty call apps?

Speaker 2 (05:45):
I think so it depends on what tom a day
you're swiping left or right. But I think a lot
of younger folk and I just can only speak, even
from what I'm hearing from my daughter who's in her
early twenties and their friends. I'm not looking for relationship.
I just want a situationship. I just want to have fun.
So I think the point is this year people are

(06:05):
maybe pivoting and saying, you know what enough of that?
You know, just surface stuff or sex stuff. But I
actually want someone who's my best friend, who I can
go do this with or talk about that with. And
so yes, the deeper connection versus just the sex.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
And every time we've had a conversation with someone about this,
they end up going going back, well, where am I
supposed to meet these people? I can't get to know
anybody because of this and that, And it ends up
being so often what they're talking about here a swiping
or dating app. But this is challenging. It's easy to
say it, but it is, from our experience in doing

(06:42):
this podcast, very challenging.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
I think a lot of women feel like they're ready
for it, but they can't find the man who's ready
for that, who wants to have, who's looking for a
long time or a long term partner or a life partner.
I think from what I've heard, that's always been the struggle.
So the dating apps are tough because usually the thought

(07:03):
is that a lot of men are on there for
one reason and one reason only.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
And what the micro romance?

Speaker 2 (07:08):
A micromance? This is a trend. Oh, this is what
I was kind of talking about that emphasizes those small,
meaningful interactions rather than grand gestures. And you know, this
is my language because I cannot stand the big gestures
like look at me doing something for you. I'm bringing
balloons to work in front of everybody because I'm the
best boyfriend of the year, or you know, look at

(07:29):
me giving you this.

Speaker 3 (07:30):
It just I feel like it's self serving.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Like sometimes these big grand gestures are kind of more
about the person making the gesture than the person they're
giving it to. Look at what a good partner I am.
And the small little ones where you might not get
the big atta boy or the big like okay, you
you making dinner and then cleaning the dishes and I'm like,

(07:54):
oh my god, I come in and I'm thinking, he
just made dinner and did the dishes.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
That is so sweet.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
That is so amazing, and that is such an unbelievable
recognize micro gesture that you didn't have to do that,
I didn't ask you to do, but you did it anyway,
And that would be an example.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
Well, some would argue you, yeah, he's supposed to help
out anyway. He's supposed to cook, he's supposed to clean.
But to your point, usually the guy isn't often doing right.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Well. If you cook and clean, that is above and beyond.
And I think those are the moments you know it's
true though, and just it's the little things that aren't.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
For everyone else. They're just for your partner.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
And even if you don't get a thank you or
a recognition, you know you did something sweet for your partner.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
I love that you made me think of something here.
Your parents were here and at least was coming back
Sabina and I had to go to La right. I
wanted to while we were gone. I wanted to send
you flowers. I didn't.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Because you didn't want my parents to see.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
I didn't want anybody to think I was trying to
do something to be impressive while other people I actually
didn't send you flowers because I didn't want to be
seen as the guy doing it for a grand gesture
and I wanted to.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
I actually appreciate that because I totally get that you
weren't doing it so that my parents think, Wow, what
a great guy Amy has. It's I do think that
it matters your intention if it's just to make somebody smile,
not for everyone else to see.

Speaker 3 (09:20):
I love that, So I'm a huge fan of.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
But tell your parents that you didn't get flowers because
of them.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
But it's so funny. I totally get. I get that,
and I and I support that date with me.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
So this is I shouldn't say silly to each his
own or her own.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Maybe it's because we're older and we didn't grow up
on social media and we didn't take people along with
us on our journeys to whatever.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Okay, well we're talking. There's two different things. Okay, if
you take them along your journey on social media, that's
one thing. I thought it was meaning like we're literally
bringing somebody, But.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
Here's no, no, no, I get that. Actually, I totally
that I need a wing woman No Day with Me,
singles bringing others along for their romantic journey, sharing the
ups and downs of their love lives through social media.
And so people are actually turning their journey into finding someone,
their romantic escapades into content. And so then their followers

(10:17):
are weighing in. They're either cheering or they're booing. But see,
here's what the problem is with that for me is
that once you invite people along your journey, they get
to say whatever they think about it, and that can absolutely.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
Impact your decision on what you do next.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
And not everybody gets it just because they see a
video you posted or a picture you posted. So I
think it's a little dangerous kind of It's almost like
you're letting people way in and I know.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
That's part of what this podcast is.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
So I don't want to. I don't want to. Like,
I think that's great if you're open to the Peanut
gallery saying whatever they think.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
For me, that's a little tough.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
My problem is you let them in from the beginning,
but when does it end? At some point you're feeding
them like you have no excuse six months, eight months,
year and a half later to say, well, I want
some privacy or don't talk to me about my breakup
or give us a moment. You don't have it. I'm
speaking of it as if it's a public figure. But no,
just you do that, And now you've got to let

(11:14):
everybody into the pain. How much do you give them
along the way?

Speaker 2 (11:18):
It's easy when things are going great, when things are
fun and exciting, when things are interesting. But when things
actually get personal and problematic, which they always will every
single relationship, then it becomes a little trickier. And we
only know this because we've spent our professional lives in
front of the camera, and that has invited a camera

(11:38):
or a lens, so to speak, into our personal lives.
And it cuts both ways, people, it cuts both ways.
So just know what you're getting into.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
My other issue here?

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Oh what's your other issue? The other person?

Speaker 1 (11:47):
Would you want to date somebody that's putting all of
it out there?

Speaker 2 (11:50):
So I thought that too.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Everybody in the world, give me your opinion about this.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Guy, and do you want to be that guy? Oh
my gosh, So you're limiting who would date you, because
a lot of folks wouldn't date you knowing that they're
about to be talked about, commented about. I would think
that would be the right thing to do, and if
you didn't and they found out later, that would be
another problem altogether. So you have to find the person
who's willing to be on that journey with you.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
That's interesting hang to each is Kelly Bensimon. Ye, she's
doing She's essentially letting people go along on the journey
while she's dating it.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
And there are plenty of people who love the idea
that who like the attention and like the excitement of
having people come on the ride with them.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
Let's try for a week. We won't make it to There's.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
No way we're doing that, all right. Dopamine dates, Oh okay,
we could get it. This is another trend. These are
designed to create excitement and joy, moving beyond traditional dating experiences.

(12:55):
The example we're given is going to an escape room.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Does a theme park like going to ride Corolla Coasters?

Speaker 2 (13:03):
Does that? I think? So?

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Count right?

Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (13:05):
What about going to see a horror movie? Well, that's
a well for us, but a dopamine kick for us.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
I hate the idea of going to a movie on
a date because you can't talk, That's true. I love
going to movies with you now because you can't talk.
It took a second. Y'all should see her face. Y'all
should see her face.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
I can still lean over and whisper use that one
for the social clip. I can lean over and.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
Whisper her face.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Because when we're watching it on the couch, at least
you have a rewind button, and I.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Use it a lot. And I refuse to do subtitles,
so I can't read what's happening, so I pause. Sometimes
you will be talking for five minutes and then you
look up. Oh, you stop the movie.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
But anyway, and I'm always grateful because I missed it
too because I was talking.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
No, but another dopamine date?

Speaker 2 (13:53):
What would it be? What could we do that would
be a dopamine date?

Speaker 1 (13:56):
Would it be jumping out of we talk about skydiving.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
Oh, we tried to go pair gliding. Remember that would
have been a dopamine date.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
And it was too windy.

Speaker 3 (14:04):
The winds were too high.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
We kicked up too much, but they were we're gonna
blow away, so we didn't do it.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
Yeah, that would that would have known?

Speaker 1 (14:11):
Anything like that?

Speaker 2 (14:11):
No, but we I want to and you you're into that. Oh,
we've written on a motorcycle together that could be a
dopamine date.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
It was my motorcycle.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
Yeah, but I'm I'm totally trusting you, like I'm putting
my life into your hands.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
It's a commuter vehicle. That wasn't a date that we
just needs to get from one place to one another.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Well, we do have plans to take the motorcycle out
to go hiking.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
That would be a dopamine date.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Okay, fine, you can call it whatever you want to
call it, my love, all right.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
The next trend that we're seeing in twenty twenty five
is niche dating. So we've all heard that opposites attract,
but that's not always the case. Bumbles survey found that
for forty six percent of singles, sharing interest, especially niche
interests that others might consider strained or even creepy, is

(15:01):
what they really want. And I get that because if
someone else is sharing the weird that you have in you, that's.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
A bond that works, I think.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
And horror movies that would be the best way, because
people think we're crazy for going to see.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
But this is strange or even creepy.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Well, some people would say going to horror movies and
loving horror movies the way we do is strange or creepy.
People have questioned, maybe even members of my own family
have questioned my fascination with the abomination that why do
you want to go watch something that is filled with
you know, terror and sometimes torture and sometimes gore. Like

(15:39):
you're like, I have been judged as being strange. For really,
I don't just like horror movies.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
I love horror movies and we bonded over that.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
You don't have to explain that to me. But when
we talk about niche dating, you have to find someone
that's into it, Like what kind of like Pokemon? Yeah,
that's niche dating.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
That's niche dating. That niche dating like comic con, like
if you like if you like to dress up and
I like or or that kind of thing, like people
who both like to do role playing, that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
Okay, So if I wanted to go to one of
these things and say, hey, I want to be mister
incredible and you'd be a lastic girl.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
Good, uh new, Not for me, that's not my niche dating.
I'm trying to think if there's something else, what.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Else is there a super producers sitting into it? What
else would there be? Renaissance?

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, yep, yep, yep. That's a really good The Stories renaissance. Yeah,
but I do that that kind of thing makes sense
because if that's your that's what gets you going, that's
your you need to probably have somebody or it would.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
Be helpful you really.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Otherwise, if I put on a big bear costume and say, hey, sweetheart,
I'll be back at six, I don't think that's gonna
work for us, not for long anyway. Everybody, do you thing,
that's not what we're saying. But if someone is that,
that's just not necessarily right.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
I think you need to find your your person who
also enjoys said strange interest. Yes, that makes total sense.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
But the what are we very early on in the
year now, and there seemed like so much last year
there was a lot of celebrity. I guess the main
un let's just do this. We talked about j Lo
and Ben was the big that.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
Was our big breakup. We were we were really upset.
We were so so rooting.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
I was holding on until they said the they asked
the judge to sign off on the divorce.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Even then, you you believed, you believe that maybe someone
was going to back.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Out of it. If I sent the letters to the
judge asking him to not sign off on the divorce.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
I know we were rooting for them, always rooting for love,
but sometimes rooting for someone, rooting for a person means
also saying that sometimes you're better off not together, and
that is the truth.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
That is true. We all this was one Obviously we
talked about j Lo and then here that that was
one story, a love story that's twenty plus years going,
and we talk about the movies she made about him
and them and all that. You're just like, wow, love
is amazing and how life works. And given our experience
and what we went, like, wow, you could relate to

(18:22):
how that could possibly be. And then for it not
to work out. Yeah, I'm still hoping they'll get back
together a third time.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Who's to say, I mean, if they if they could
wait twenty years, and maybe they just need for their
stars to not be shining so brightly.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
The pressure, the public pressure.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
Of a public romance is real and it's tough, and
it's not.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
You're feeling it.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Well, it's getting so much better. I felt it for Oh,
the first year was really hard.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
Pressure.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Oh, the public pressure to stay together or the public
pressure of just.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
Being a couple, just being a couple.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
I don't feel it as much now I did then
as I did a year ago. And it does add
to stress levels because you feel like you're being watched,
you feel like you're being talked about. You feel like, yeah,
there's pressure associated with that, without a doubt, But in
that sense, I feel like, maybe even more so than not,

(19:17):
you root for public couples because you want them to
make it.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
Because it's hard.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
It's hard already and adding fame and all.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
Of that pressure to it is just tough.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
But we already have some big celebrity breakups. And the
one that was shocking to me and I think to
a lot of folks was Jessica Alba and Cash Warren.
They just announced they are separating after sixteen years of marriage.
They have three kids together, and they were always on
the red carpets together with their family. Howebba, If you

(19:51):
go back just even last year, Jessica might have been
hinting at it in a couple of her interviews. There
was one in particular where she was talking about she
basically said, and again, this is someone who'd been married
at this point to fifteen, sixteen years after two and
a half years of marriage.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
It's just like we became roommates.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
That's tough.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
Maybe she said it in jest. Maybe it was just
he was just being pack.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
She might have been paving the road. She might have
been preparing the road or preparing her fans for what
was to come.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Maybe she had a bad day that day. It was
a bad marriage day that day. I think we all have.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
Them after two and a half years, and she's sixteen
years into it.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
You can have it after two months, have a bad
marriage day.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
She said it was that.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
She described her marriage as you're just going through the motion.
It's the responsibility. It's a lot of like checking the boxes.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
Okay, that does sound funny, it's not.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
And but the thing is, I think a lot of
people can relate to that a lot. And it's not
that you can't work through that. And a lot of
people would say, hey, the magic can come back. You're
in the thicke of it with your kids. They have
three kids. But you know what, I applaud them because
I would having been in this situation. Sometimes the right
thing to do is to separate the right thing for

(20:58):
the kids, even.

Speaker 3 (20:59):
To to show them how.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
And it seems like they're doing it amicably and responsibly,
and it's not easy and it's not what anybody wants,
but sometimes it is the best thing for everybody, and
I think it's important to remember that.

Speaker 1 (21:12):
All right. This next, who is Brendan Ralph.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
Brandon Ralph and Courtney Ford. They're divorcing after seventeen years
of marriage. And if you don't know, Brandon is a
Hallmark Channel alum. He rose to fame playing the Man
of Steel on Superman Returns. And then Courtney is a
Dexter alum.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
And if folks don't remember, and I hate to put
this in there, but he was the Superman that didn't
really work out. This wasn't too terribly long ago. I'm
not knocking him. He has the look, the looking guy,
and I thought he did great in the movies. I'm
a big fan of all these, but he's that guy.
He only got one run I think as Superman and
as Man of Steel.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
So you know what, here's the thing about which is
really tough. They were This is we can talk about this.
They were forced basically to confirm to the world that
they were divorcing because someone outed them. An online publication
announced that this was happening before they were able to,
and it happened while the Los Angeles wildfires were going on.

(22:13):
So it's Courtney actually put this out because she needed to.
We were focused on grabbing our go bags and evacuating,
and it feels ridiculous to post the statement. It was
a statement that they were separating with the fires still raging,
but an online publication announced our news before we could. Damn.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
We know what that's like. And it's unfortunate that.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
One stings a lot. Anybody who was going through a divorce,
even a breakup, well, let's go with divorce in particular,
and he got kids involved. It's one of the worst
things that you will ever experience is going through that divorce.
Even if it's amicable, sometimes just the pain off. You
have to look at your kids' faces and say this

(22:55):
is mommy and daddy aren't going to be together. It's
just hard. I hate this the idea that they all
that's going on. So you guys, a divorce going on,
trying to get your kids okay, and you're on the run,
and now this publication decides to out the most difficult
part of your personal life. Man, that sucks.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
It actually makes me physically angry for them on behalf
of them, because it's just, even if you are a
public figure and you are a celebrity and you make
your living doing so, it doesn't mean you don't.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
Have a right to a private life.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
And I think when you're juggling so much for even
put the fires aside, they're managing their kids, they're managing
their families, their friends. Telling people you're getting divorced is
one of the most difficult things to do. And yes,
it starts with your kids, but it's also your parents,
your siblings, your shared friends. All of this is incredibly painful.
And to have someone force your hand and you have

(23:49):
to say it or at least acknowledge it when you
weren't ready to. A lot of folks want to get
their divorce finalized. They want to have all their ducks
in a row before they.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
Then announced it.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
And I know that's where our heads were in our situations.
And when someone forces your hand, and it's just it's
a it's a it's a trauma on top of a
trauma that's unnecessary.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
My next divorce, I'm going to announce it immediately. I
am going to be the first. I mean the moment,
it's going to be out there so quick, so quick.
Lesson learned. Next couple, deafening silence.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
Deafening silence from me, h, yes, I know you were kidding.
This was another one Craig Conover and Paige Di Sorbo.

(24:43):
This was a Bravo Sphere crossover and a lot of
folks are rooting for them. Craig was from Southern Charm,
Page was from Summerhouse.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
But they broke up. This isn't a divorce.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
This was just a breakup, and I'm not trying to
minimize that because it's still significant. But they were dating
long distance for three years. Page was in New York,
Craig was in Charleston, South Carolina.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
Which, as long distance goes, that's some would say that's manageable.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yes, because yes, it's a it's a easy quick plane ride.
It's it's a two hour plane ride.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
And twelve hour I should know the drive. What's the drive?

Speaker 2 (25:15):
I think it's twelve or thirteen hours. Yeah, but it's
not really drivable. But that's tough when you have to
pick weekends and and really manage your time like that.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
I drive that far for you every weekend. If I
needed to you would that would that's very Sweetfy God,
I don't have to.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
Though, I was like, man, that will never have to
be proven, never get tested. But you know, speaking of
long distance, it's funny my mom, they never were in
a long distance relationship, but my dad traveled, she would say,
and I think my dad would do fifty percent of
their marriage before he retired.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
And they've been married how long?

Speaker 2 (25:50):
Well, I'm fifty one, so they have been married for
fifty two years.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
They figured out the key to marriage.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
So my mom said the key to their marriage was
being apart fifty percent of the time because that allowed
them to each kind of have their own time and
then miss each other and then come back together. So
some people say that works really really well for.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
That, then we're doomed because we spend every waking moment together.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
We have a no distance relationship.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
No at all at all at all, You're I mean
even even when your showers go a little long. I'm like,
where is she?

Speaker 2 (26:26):
I know? I know, I think we spent so much
time as friends missing each other that now we're just
so excited to be together that we actually get to
be together, and we choose to be together. But that
has come after a lot of time and a lot
of Yeah, I think longing, so that that does create
a different I think relationship or dynamic to begin with

(26:49):
going into it, could.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
You manage this relationship if we only got to spend
time together once every two weeks.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
I would if I had to, but it wouldn't be
my chore and it wouldn't be something I would say
helped our relationship. I think we would deal with it
and we would manage it. But there could be there
could be silver linings. I mean, there is that thing.
I mean when we're apart for a day or two,
I really miss you. It's happened silver lining It's only
happened like three times in the last in the last

(27:20):
in the last two and a half years, I think
we've only been a part a couple of days, Like seriously,
that's it.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
Maybe two or three days here or there, and.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
It's it is nice to know that I miss you
like crazy.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
But could you do that for twenty years? It's the
thing we talked about shery Lee Ralph here, who is
someone we absolutely adore. She just exudes just grace and
we love her. We absolutely love her.

Speaker 3 (27:48):
From an elementary and yes, she had a.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Long career stage career, but she has said she has
been married and going back, and I think going back
and forth, but living in a long distance marriage for
t years. Look at this.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
He's where Pennsylvania and she is she's in Los Angeles.
That's tough.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
That's tough.

Speaker 3 (28:07):
I think that's really hard.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
I think it depends on your relationship, and there is
value in all sorts of different types of relationships. We
just happen to be best friends, and I think that's
a little bit of a different relationship you can have
and a lot of these. It also depends on your
individual personality. I know you do like alone time. I
don't know when you get it. I don't love alone time,

(28:29):
so I'm really happy in this relationship.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
Here's the deal. I do like alone time when I'm
with people who I don't want to be around.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
So the point being is you are somebody who I
want to be around, So I don't ever need to
or want to be alone here or there.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
I can be though, you.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
Can be alone. I'm just only I just appreciate it
because I have for the past thirty years, I had
so little of it, just been working in the business.
You're just constantly eaving us like a work trip. I'm
surrounded by people, and I just whenever I get a
chance to eat a meal alone, to just sit on
the couch and it's just me. I do appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
I think that's great, and I think that you have
to have a lot of trust and that's a beautiful thing.
So Cheryl Lee Ralph is on Judith Light from Who's
the Boss. Do you remember her? I grew up watching her.
I didn't realize this. She's been in a long distance
marriage with her husband of thirty nine years. Judith resides

(29:27):
in New York, her husband is in Los Angeles. That's tough.

Speaker 3 (29:30):
It's very tough.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
She says.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
They talk every day.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
I would hope so thirty years they FaceTime every day.
But her quote is he loves to be alone and
I love to be alone. We both love our alone time.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
We have that. It's also very creative for us.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
So, I mean, I guess that makes sense if you
know who you are, and again, there's a huge level
of trust and respect and it works, and perhaps if
they live together it wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
That's the key. There are things that work for this
couple that might not work for this one. There is
no one sign it hits all to meet to hear
a long distance relationship for that long, I can imagine either,
and I would never want to sign up for that.
But for them and to hear it works, it's kind
of cool.

Speaker 2 (30:11):
Yeah, And then this was a little I don't really
know how to interpret this next relationship. That's a long
distance relationship, but maybe it isn't anymore. China Phillips and
Billy Baldwin, they recently met headlines when they explained it
like this. They said they were living separately because of
an allergy.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
To one another.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Allergic to your spouse.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
That's a big.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
Problem because I don't think Clariton's going to fix that.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
I think they were being funny. I think I'm allergic
to this dude. I don't want to be around them.
They have an allergy to the person. And she might
have been that might have been a sweet, acute way
of saying, you know, we're having problems right now.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
So after I guess there was a lot of backlash
for saying that. And by the way, they've been together,
they've been husband and wife for nearly thirty years. So
she said they had an allergy to one another, and
we're living in separate homes. But then she says, wait
a minute, I'm retracting that comment, and I am now
saying that it's probably a very foolish, very unwise, very destructive,

(31:11):
stupid decision, because that's not going to solve our problem
with the allergy. With the allergy, so meaning they have
some problems they need to work out, and perhaps living
in separate homes is not the way to solve those problems.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
So now she is saying that they do live together.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
Okay, thirty years, they're doing something right.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
And I also feel like, you know what, she doesn't
have to explain herself. I have to remind myself, you
don't have to explain yourself and your choices with your
partner or your husband or wife to anyone else if
it's working for you.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Well you say that, I know, I.

Speaker 2 (31:44):
Mean you have to explain it to one another.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
No, No, I was making a joke about us having to.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
Oh yeah, yeah, we kind of did.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
Well, I think we were trying to not have to
and that didn't work and it blew up in our faces.
So then we actually had to go ahead and explain. Yeah, yeah,
I hear you yeah, all.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Right, well, OK, twenty twenty five already not farg in,
but it's given us a lot, including some dating trims.
We've got some breakup news. Hopefully we don't get too
much of that. And again, I'm fascinated by the people
who are together for decades but are still living apart.
We do part far apart in those cases, but we do.

(32:23):
We're here for you. We will continue to be a
part of I Do Part two and try to help
you along in your life. And again we want to
remind you we are here to help along with our
team of experts and mentors.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
Yeah. So the only trend we really want to see
happen in twenty twenty five is that you are attracting
the love that you want into your life. And so
that's why we're here to help, or at least we
hope we can help. Call us, email us, follow us
on social media. All of the information will be in
the show notes about what we've discussed, and please make
sure you rate and review the podcast I Do Part two.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
An iHeartRadio podcas cast.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
We're falling in love and hopefully staying in love is
the main objective.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
But if not, just come back to the podcast, we'll
help you find your next love to. Well, for now,
I'm t.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
J Holmes and I made me Robock. How A wonderful
day everyone,
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