June 10, 2024 • 24 mins
A sketchy childhood. Some therapy. And a little help from comedian Sam Morril. Gary’s investigative journey brings him to his Mom’s house to talk with her about the man she despises most in this world.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Previously on Number one.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Dad, it may have been the greatest scam for a
sports fan, posing as a Sports Illustrated Kids reporter with
your dad and getting into all the games, not to
mention the locker rooms was.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
A kid, Did you love it?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Nor would you get tired of it?
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Eventually I got tired of it. My dad was a
comment in everyday life. I love sports, he loved lying.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Sully is very young.
Speaker 5 (00:22):
But let's say that he hears about all the stuff
that you and your dad did, Madison Square Garden, meeting
all these athletes. What if he wants to try it
with you?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
With you, what would you say?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
I would say that those are different times and that
it's always best to be honest. And my role model
wasn't the best role model, and I'm trying to be
the best role model for you.
Speaker 5 (00:51):
You didn't tell me a lot about your father for
a long time.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
That's my wife Ali.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
When we first started dating, I kept her in the
dark about my relationship with my dad.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
He was kind of a really big mystery. I knew
that your relationship with him was strained, that you didn't
speak to him, But then you know, when you told
me a bunch of the different stories and stuff like that.
I mean, it blew my mind. Honestly, it was obvious
that it had impacted your.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Life, Manny Veter.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
My father was a full blooded comment who never told
the truth about anything.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Ever.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
As a teenager, I couldn't stand the way he was,
so twenty four years ago I cut him out of
my life completely. We didn't speak, no emails or texts.
I didn't want anything to do with them. But I
just had a son of my own, which brought up
a ton of old memories of my childhood and made
me wonder, where is my dad now?
Speaker 5 (01:45):
You better hope that your dad doesn't find out about
this before you're ready to talk to him.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
What do you think he would do if he finds out?
Speaker 5 (01:51):
I mean, based off of everything you've told me, he
would probably sue everybody involved.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
This is number one death.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Gary.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
What's up man?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Hey buddy.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
That's my producer, Adam Lowett. I've known him for a while.
We met back when I was an intern at The
Daily Show in two thousand and six. When he was
working there, I used to have to get him coffee
and bagels every morning. He's incredibly talented. I owe him
big time. For being a part of this and frankly,
I couldn't do it without him. He also wrote to Centro,
so I did some investigating, and I basically, I mean,
(02:35):
as far as investigating goes, it's nothing crazy. I searched
him on Google and I was able to find out
that he's been a defendant or plaintiff in twenty three
court cases since nineteen eighty four. That's just too good.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I mean, maybe there's even more.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
This is just from a Google search, but some of
the cases that came up. He sued her she Park,
claiming he broke a rib on one of their rye
he did a slip and fall at our hometown movie
theater and then took them to court. And he also
sued Geico a bunch for what I presume are all
false insurance claims. I also unblocked him on Facebook and
(03:16):
I couldn't see anything other than his friend list and
his profile pick.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
But his profile pick is of him and Joe Biden.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
And how he did that, How he met Joe Biden
that I don't know.
Speaker 6 (03:31):
But where they at Madison Square Guarden.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
No, And that's the other thing.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
I assume he didn't meet him legitimately but like, how
are you meeting the president under you know, non legitimate terms?
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Oh my god, it's so fascinating.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
But this is the thing, this is how I grew up.
But so far, this is all I was able to find.
So paid right, that would that would be nice? Uh?
And that would make that would make this podcast much
easier too, if paid you three dollars a monthly?
Speaker 7 (03:59):
Fe right?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
And I know he said, you're going to go talk
to your mom soon and ask her to be on
the podcast.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
So that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
I have shows this weekend and I'm going to be traveling,
so I can't can't do it till early next week.
I'm going to bring Ali with me when I go
meet her, so that should hopefully.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
I think my mom will be open to talking if
Ali's there, that's like my best shot.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
And I'm also going to bring Sullivan along too.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
And I know I'm pulling the same kind of moves
bringing Sali along the same way my dad would bring
me along to soften people up. But I feel our
situations are pretty different and it also worked. My father
was the ultimate shyster who is a master at manipulating
the court system. He was so confident in his knowledge
of law that he even represented himself in the divorce
(04:51):
between him and my mom. He was always one step
ahead of my mother's legal representation. He knew how to
delay the proceedings, costing my mother thousands of dollars attorney's fees.
Their divorce started when I was fifteen years old and
dragged on for ten years, and in the end, my
father took everything, including my childhood home. Their divorce was
finalized in two thousand and five. That is literally the
(05:15):
last time my mom and I set his name out
loud to each other. And in a few days I'm
going to go to her house to ask her to
break the silence.
Speaker 8 (05:25):
How are you feeling about everything?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I mean this, obviously, this whole thing is very heavy
and just I mean I haven't talked about my dad
ever to her, and just even me talking out loud,
you know, and you know, to you, And to be
doing this publicly is a lot. Talking about my father
and eventually seeking him out is going to bring up
(05:48):
a lot of emotions that I buried a long time ago.
So I thought it'd be best to sit down with
my therapist. But Beata Spinelli, who also happened to help
my wife Ali and I when we did couples countsling
a few years back.
Speaker 9 (05:59):
I really want to honor that you're coming in to
do this individual work. I recalling couple's work was sort
of difficult to.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Talk about your dad and your family history with your dad.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I talked to Ali about it, and I said that
I'm going to go back to Babta and talk to
her about my dad. It's so weird for me to
even say my dad because it's like I normally refer
to him. I call him Manny, I call him by
his first name.
Speaker 9 (06:22):
I do recall how hard it was for you to
speak about your dad, and it was hard to even
bring him in as someone that had been somewhat part
of your life.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
One of the things that made me stop caring about
my father because of the way that he treated my mom.
Speaker 9 (06:37):
Is she aware Gary that you're thinking of, you know,
baby meeting your father?
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Just no, So I have to That's another thing that
I have to talk to her, and that's you know,
that's a it's a tough thing to bring up my dad,
so you.
Speaker 9 (06:51):
Need to be prepared of her reaction.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
When I was a teenager, the arguments between my parents
became it every day occurrence. My father's constant schemes and
court cases began to take its toll on my family,
and bills were piling up. My mom told my dad
she wanted a divorce, and that's when things got really bad.
To make matters worse, my father put me in the
middle of it.
Speaker 9 (07:16):
Gary, it sounds like you had to find ways to
survive at a young age.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yeah, you know, if I asked him for lunch money
in high school, he would say, ask your mom, even
though lunch is a dollar fifty five, So then I'd
ask her, And then she wasn't working. She was a
stay at home mom, so she only had money that
my father would give her, which was in a good
situation of being when they obviously are having problems, and
(07:44):
he stopped giving her money. So him telling me to
ask my mom, who he knows doesn't have any money
or maybe only has a few dollars, winds up being like, well,
why if you have the money, why can't you just
get Why am I in the middle of this? And
then eventually I just started photocopying dollar bills so I
could give that to the lunch lady. And then my
(08:04):
dad found out about that, and then instead of giving
me money, he's just started helping me photocopy dollar bills
to make him look more realistic.
Speaker 9 (08:13):
Your photo copy dollar bills right for lunch money. What
I'm noticing, Gary, is that your dad didn't just model
these questionable behaviors, but he encouraged it.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
However, I do think of things that he did that
was great too, And that's kind of what brings me
here is that, you know, I don't know if it
was all bad.
Speaker 9 (08:39):
You're about to enter into a pretty intense journey. Are
you afraid at all about how things are going to
turn out?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I mean, yeah, I'm afraid.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
I'm going to be talking to a whole bunch of
different people that are from my past and my dad's past,
and there's a chance that somebody may reach out to
him before I'm even ready to talk to him. And
you know, there's also like, if I opened the door
to him, there's a chance that he hurts me and
my family all over again. As a comic, I'm on
(09:20):
the road all the time, and right now I'm traveling
with comedians Sam Morrell. Sam is one of the funniest
people and one of my close friends. We have a
lot in common too. Aside from being comedians, we both
have strained relationships with our biological fathers.
Speaker 10 (09:36):
It's funny, I've knew you for years before I knew
this stuff. So I was like, oh, Gary's like a
normal guy, but like everyone's got their thing.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
When I started doing stand up, because of my relationship
with my father and how I didn't want to like
have my last name become anything veet, I went as
Gary Roy basically because of Rodney Dangerfield was Jack Roy.
So I was like you and as Gary Roy yeah
for like the first six months, and I was just like,
let me try and build something and stand up under
(10:05):
this you know, pseudonym. And it was just so whenever
somebody would bring me up, it just didn't it didn't
feel right. Yeah. So, I mean one of the things
that I don't do and you do is I don't
talk about my dad at all on my act.
Speaker 10 (10:20):
It's unusual because you actually, for a joke, I are
pretty autobiographical. A lot of joke people who do the
misdirect style that you do, it's like all lies, but
you're very honest in your act.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah, I really do.
Speaker 10 (10:33):
But you avoid that, but you do avoid that.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
I avoid it, and part of my thinking I don't
want to give my dad any credit. I don't want
him to think that I came up with a joke
for him, and then I'm thinking about him.
Speaker 10 (10:49):
It's for you at the end, I know, like that
to me, that says that you have anger toward him,
and you should the fact that you don't want to
give him anything, right, But I mean, you're making this
podcast from meet like early bits where like you know,
people would say, you know, is your biological father or
good dad? And I'd be like, if he were, I
probably wouldn't refer to him as my biological father.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Love that jet they were quick laughs.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Yeah. It's like I showed Ali a picture of him
once and she was like, you look like him, and
I was like, it makes me so upset.
Speaker 10 (11:18):
How do you feel about looking like someone that you
don't like?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
I know, it's tough. I mean I wish I looked
like you know, Bradley Cooper. I wish that was the case.
I didn't really feel like I had an incredibly fulfilling childhood.
My parents were constantly fighting, and to a point where
they weren't physically fighting but it was crazy yelling that
(11:43):
would constantly go on where cops would get called by.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Either my mom or my dad. Damn.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
And it's pretty embarrassing when you're a kid living in
a pretty like nice house and cops would just be outside,
and you know, I have friends in the neighborhood where
next day at school they'd be like.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
So, why were cops outside? And you kind of just
curl into a ball where you're just like, oh.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
It was just had like a little health scare in
the house, just trying to make up anything, not knowing
if they buy it or not. I would be so embarrassed.
I wouldn't even have friends come over my entire high
school life. I didn't have friends come over my house.
I was too embarrassed because I didn't know what was
going to happen between my parents.
Speaker 10 (12:23):
Damn.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
By the spring of my sophomore year of high school,
I knew there was no way I was going to
be able to make it another two years living under
the same roof as my parents. Both my sisters had
left for college, and I was all alone. It was
just me and my dog Kobe. I knew some kids
through playing hockey that went to a private boarding school
in Massachusetts, and I saw this as my way out.
(12:49):
So I filled out all the paperwork, and in a
surprise joint decision, my parents both agreed to send me away.
You know, most teenagers would be upset if they were
sent to boarding school. I, on the other hand, was
glad to go.
Speaker 10 (13:03):
Did you blame me they're your parents, or did you
like they're just both they can't get it together?
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Well, I was blaming my dad, and like I was
really you know, when I was saying I had a
bad childhood, it's tough because my childhood is what also
shaped me to be who I am.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
So I appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
I mean, you have to appreciate your experiences, I think
and look at the positive things that have come from it.
So at the time, I was definitely angry, more angry
at my dad than my mom. It seemed my dad
was really mistreating my mom and I didn't understand why.
And he would talk to me about it and he'd
be like, when you get older, you'll understand. Well, it's
(13:42):
like I'm older and making a whole podcast to try
and figure this shit out.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (13:48):
Was he a charming guy though?
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Yeah, he would get things out of people that that,
you know, you'd be surprised he'd be able to pull
off anything. I mean, you know the you know, the
sports stories that he was able to do. And then
he has some other other con stuff that I've heard
stories about that I'm gonna ask other family members.
Speaker 10 (14:04):
Well, you ever worried for safety. I mean, this is
like kind of sketchy stuff.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
I blocked it out for so long, But as a kid,
people were constantly showing up at our house pissed at
my father, yelling at him on our front lawn, and
it was always about money. I remember one instance when
a man dressed in a suit rang the doorbell like
fifty times in a row. My dad told my family
to be quiet and not answer the door. Then this
guy walks around to the back of our house and
(14:31):
starts looking through our windows. He was relentless because then
he just sat in his car waiting in our driveway.
A little while later, realizing he wasn't leaving, my dad
took off all his clothes and walked out in nothing
but a towel, apologizing that he'd just gotten out of
the shower and hadn't heard the doorbell. He then handed
(14:52):
the guy an envelope full of cash.
Speaker 10 (14:55):
Do you ask your mom ever about this?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
No, wouldn't We went and talk about it to this today.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
I have not talked to my mom about my father
in twenty four years.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Yeah, I haven't mentioned him. She has no idea I'm
doing this podcast yet. I'm going to her house with
Ali as soon as we get off the road. I'm
going to ask her if she'll be on it, and
I have no idea what she'll say.
Speaker 10 (15:19):
Be great at the end of this podcast, your dad
just like charms you today. He cons you and you're
just another victim of this. You're like, it's possible. I
turned out he was a great guy and I was wrong.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Man.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Yeah, I mean I'm opening up Pandora's box by letting
him into my life. For sure. It's so crazy to
think about my parents being married. I have zero memories
of them being happy together or even liking each other.
But I know it happened because I found this old
tape of them on vacation.
Speaker 6 (15:48):
Hi, honey, right, what do you want to get to say?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Letting the kids.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Having a great time too?
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Bid?
Speaker 3 (15:57):
You couldn't make it.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
That's them in the Cayman Isle.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
But even my parents' vacation was rooted in one of
my father's lies. The only way they were able to
go was because my dad entered a contest in the
early nineties on Fox five's Good Day New York. They
were looking for someone with the worst first date story,
and the winner got a free trip to the Caribbean.
This was a walk in the park for my father.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
He went on live.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
TV, where his completely fabricated story beat out three other contestants.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
We really miss your kids, We really do.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, Mommy, you miss Gary.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Oh, I miss Gary and miss Scanny.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
I really do think that used your practice because you're
told where your mother is terrible.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
You can't be nasty while you're asking her for a fever.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
I'm not going to be. It's not asking her favorite.
So here I am driving to my mom's house with
Ali and our son Sullivan to ask if she'll be
on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
When is the last time that you spoke about your
father with your mom?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
When?
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Seriously when never.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
We've been together ten years and I have not once
heard your mom mention your dad ever, like ever, even
when she talks about like you as a baby, or
your childhood.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Or anything like that. I've never once heard her mention him.
Speaker 6 (17:13):
Yeah, she's not a big fan.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
You know, obviously she's not meaning that has not been
a topic of conversation in ten years. And you can't
even have a conversation with her about like egg salad.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I mean, honestly, I think your mother is going to
be so taken aback.
Speaker 6 (17:29):
Yeah, I mean, what are you gonna say?
Speaker 4 (17:31):
I am going to say that I am doing a
podcast and don't doing it about well, I'm going to
get to that. I want to say, I'm doing a podcast.
It's about my childhood, but it's mainly about my relationship
with my father, and I'm interviewing different people, people that
(17:56):
know him, and you know him, don't you. Well, so
say something like that, Yeah, I may need your help
on this.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
You need me to put it by two cents.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
In just here and there, Like, God, you're gonna be
there when I'm saying I know.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
And I'm like so uncomfortable about it.
Speaker 8 (18:24):
All right, boy, you're ready, yep, as ready as I'll
ever be.
Speaker 6 (18:42):
God. All right, Sally, see Granny.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Despite all my preparation, I was still nervous about bringing
up my father to my mom. I kept waiting for
the perfect moment, but there is never a right time
to bring up the man who made her life. Hell,
so as we sat down for lunch, I decided it
was now or never. So I have something to tell you.
(19:28):
It's good news. I sold the podcast to iHeartRadio. But
there is a catch.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
It's about my father.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
That sound you heard was my mom's fork literally dropping
out of her hand.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Well, that didn't go as I'd hoped.
Speaker 5 (20:07):
That was really intense, and my heart breaks for your mom.
That's the first time I've ever seen you and your
mom cry together, which was like.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Pretty nuts.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
I think you need to understand her hesitation, obviously because
your father hasn't gone after you the past twenty years.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
You know, I went in there and wanted to ask
her to help me.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Yeah, but in helping you, I mean I.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Blocked out a lot of those things.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I realized that her experience, although my experience was also bad,
she had it even you know, she had it the worst.
Speaker 11 (20:49):
And you know, I mean the fact that she was
even she was even talking to me about the things yeah,
that we never talked about before, was I mean, that
was amazing.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
And you're her mother clawed her way out of an
unbelievably impossible situation, the potential for there to be any
repercussions on her Negatively, of course, why would your mother
want to do that.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
He made her life a living health and right now
he's not any has nothing to do with her life.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yeah, but this would open up the door, even if.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
She doesn't say anything bad, like than any of the
bad stuff, which you know would obviously give them more
reason to come after her.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
But I get just mentioning his name.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
I get what you're looking for, the origin story, anything
like that, But I think her fears that if he
even hears her speaking his name.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
It's ammunition.
Speaker 6 (21:42):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
You're gonna keep going.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
I mean, her not saying anything from the woman who
would do anything for you, which I believe your mother
would in a heartbeat, speaks volumes. It validates that he
even more. You know, I was not expecting you to cry.
(22:08):
I feel closer to your mother, But that also must
have been really hard for you, Like you were crying
with your mom. When's the last time your mom saw
you cry? I don't know exactly, because you buried a
lot of this stuff.
Speaker 8 (22:23):
Yeah, you're gonna cry again.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
It's okay, Babida Bibeta. We in an emergency session.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
That's the thing is, I'm not going to be able
to control him as.
Speaker 7 (22:35):
Much as I remember him being a piece of garbage
in my childhood. I I wish, you know, I wish
he was just like the Sports Illustrated.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Story, But it's not.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
You can twist like the Sports Illustrated stuff like you
can you can play with a lot of the things
that happened to shed a positive light on them. There
is it's impossible to shed a positive light on any
of your mom's experience.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
That's the problem.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
And even if she's talking about their first date and
stuff like that, it's still mentioning him.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Listen, we're doing this, We're in this, and I'm with
you till the freaking end.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
But I think you saying, and you are very smart,
but you can what you just said, you cannot control him,
I think is right. Don't underestimate the power of what
could happen.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
On the next episode of Number one Dad.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
So what do you think is the hardest part about
having a comment for a father?
Speaker 5 (23:37):
It was the domino effect of one lie after another
led to our family really just falling apart.
Speaker 6 (23:44):
Maybe I was naive at the time, but he knew
how to do certain things.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
He knew how to manipulate people.
Speaker 12 (23:50):
He had met Obama, but the way he would explain
it was that, you know, he had a tight relationship
with him.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Number One Dad is a production of Radio Point, Big
Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by
Gary Veter. Executive producers are Gary Veter, Adam Lowett, Alex Bach,
Daniel Powell, Huston Snyder, Kenneth Slotnik, and Brian Stern. Written
by Gary Veeter and Adam Lowett, Produced by Bernie Kaminsky.
(24:25):
Co producer is Taylor Kowalski, Edited and mixed by Ian
Sorrentino at Little Bear Audio.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Recording engineer is kat Iosa.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Original music by Andrew Gross Special thanks to Charlotte DeAnda.
Jonathan karsh Is creative consultant. Executive producers for Big Money
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts are Will Farrell, Hans Sonni
and Olivia Aguilar. Sound services were provided by
Previously on Number one.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Dad, it may have been the greatest scam for a
sports fan, posing as a Sports Illustrated Kids reporter with
your dad and getting into all the games, not to
mention the locker rooms was.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
A kid, Did you love it?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Nor would you get tired of it?
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Eventually I got tired of it. My dad was a
comment in everyday life. I love sports, he loved lying.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Sully is very young.
Speaker 5 (00:22):
But let's say that he hears about all the stuff
that you and your dad did, Madison Square Garden, meeting
all these athletes. What if he wants to try it
with you?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
With you, what would you say?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
I would say that those are different times and that
it's always best to be honest. And my role model
wasn't the best role model, and I'm trying to be
the best role model for you.
Speaker 5 (00:51):
You didn't tell me a lot about your father for
a long time.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
That's my wife Ali.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
When we first started dating, I kept her in the
dark about my relationship with my dad.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
He was kind of a really big mystery. I knew
that your relationship with him was strained, that you didn't
speak to him, But then you know, when you told
me a bunch of the different stories and stuff like that.
I mean, it blew my mind. Honestly, it was obvious
that it had impacted your.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Life, Manny Veter.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
My father was a full blooded comment who never told
the truth about anything.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Ever.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
As a teenager, I couldn't stand the way he was,
so twenty four years ago I cut him out of
my life completely. We didn't speak, no emails or texts.
I didn't want anything to do with them. But I
just had a son of my own, which brought up
a ton of old memories of my childhood and made
me wonder, where is my dad now?
Speaker 5 (01:45):
You better hope that your dad doesn't find out about
this before you're ready to talk to him.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
What do you think he would do if he finds out?
Speaker 5 (01:51):
I mean, based off of everything you've told me, he
would probably sue everybody involved.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
This is number one death.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Gary.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
What's up man?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Hey buddy.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
That's my producer, Adam Lowett. I've known him for a while.
We met back when I was an intern at The
Daily Show in two thousand and six. When he was
working there, I used to have to get him coffee
and bagels every morning. He's incredibly talented. I owe him
big time. For being a part of this and frankly,
I couldn't do it without him. He also wrote to Centro,
so I did some investigating, and I basically, I mean,
(02:35):
as far as investigating goes, it's nothing crazy. I searched
him on Google and I was able to find out
that he's been a defendant or plaintiff in twenty three
court cases since nineteen eighty four. That's just too good.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I mean, maybe there's even more.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
This is just from a Google search, but some of
the cases that came up. He sued her she Park,
claiming he broke a rib on one of their rye
he did a slip and fall at our hometown movie
theater and then took them to court. And he also
sued Geico a bunch for what I presume are all
false insurance claims. I also unblocked him on Facebook and
(03:16):
I couldn't see anything other than his friend list and
his profile pick.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
But his profile pick is of him and Joe Biden.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
And how he did that, How he met Joe Biden
that I don't know.
Speaker 6 (03:31):
But where they at Madison Square Guarden.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
No, And that's the other thing.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
I assume he didn't meet him legitimately but like, how
are you meeting the president under you know, non legitimate terms?
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Oh my god, it's so fascinating.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
But this is the thing, this is how I grew up.
But so far, this is all I was able to find.
So paid right, that would that would be nice? Uh?
And that would make that would make this podcast much
easier too, if paid you three dollars a monthly?
Speaker 7 (03:59):
Fe right?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
And I know he said, you're going to go talk
to your mom soon and ask her to be on
the podcast.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
So that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
I have shows this weekend and I'm going to be traveling,
so I can't can't do it till early next week.
I'm going to bring Ali with me when I go
meet her, so that should hopefully.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
I think my mom will be open to talking if
Ali's there, that's like my best shot.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
And I'm also going to bring Sullivan along too.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
And I know I'm pulling the same kind of moves
bringing Sali along the same way my dad would bring
me along to soften people up. But I feel our
situations are pretty different and it also worked. My father
was the ultimate shyster who is a master at manipulating
the court system. He was so confident in his knowledge
of law that he even represented himself in the divorce
(04:51):
between him and my mom. He was always one step
ahead of my mother's legal representation. He knew how to
delay the proceedings, costing my mother thousands of dollars attorney's fees.
Their divorce started when I was fifteen years old and
dragged on for ten years, and in the end, my
father took everything, including my childhood home. Their divorce was
finalized in two thousand and five. That is literally the
(05:15):
last time my mom and I set his name out
loud to each other. And in a few days I'm
going to go to her house to ask her to
break the silence.
Speaker 8 (05:25):
How are you feeling about everything?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I mean this, obviously, this whole thing is very heavy
and just I mean I haven't talked about my dad
ever to her, and just even me talking out loud,
you know, and you know, to you, And to be
doing this publicly is a lot. Talking about my father
and eventually seeking him out is going to bring up
(05:48):
a lot of emotions that I buried a long time ago.
So I thought it'd be best to sit down with
my therapist. But Beata Spinelli, who also happened to help
my wife Ali and I when we did couples countsling
a few years back.
Speaker 9 (05:59):
I really want to honor that you're coming in to
do this individual work. I recalling couple's work was sort
of difficult to.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Talk about your dad and your family history with your dad.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I talked to Ali about it, and I said that
I'm going to go back to Babta and talk to
her about my dad. It's so weird for me to
even say my dad because it's like I normally refer
to him. I call him Manny, I call him by
his first name.
Speaker 9 (06:22):
I do recall how hard it was for you to
speak about your dad, and it was hard to even
bring him in as someone that had been somewhat part
of your life.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
One of the things that made me stop caring about
my father because of the way that he treated my mom.
Speaker 9 (06:37):
Is she aware Gary that you're thinking of, you know,
baby meeting your father?
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Just no, So I have to That's another thing that
I have to talk to her, and that's you know,
that's a it's a tough thing to bring up my dad,
so you.
Speaker 9 (06:51):
Need to be prepared of her reaction.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
When I was a teenager, the arguments between my parents
became it every day occurrence. My father's constant schemes and
court cases began to take its toll on my family,
and bills were piling up. My mom told my dad
she wanted a divorce, and that's when things got really bad.
To make matters worse, my father put me in the
middle of it.
Speaker 9 (07:16):
Gary, it sounds like you had to find ways to
survive at a young age.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yeah, you know, if I asked him for lunch money
in high school, he would say, ask your mom, even
though lunch is a dollar fifty five, So then I'd
ask her, And then she wasn't working. She was a
stay at home mom, so she only had money that
my father would give her, which was in a good
situation of being when they obviously are having problems, and
(07:44):
he stopped giving her money. So him telling me to
ask my mom, who he knows doesn't have any money
or maybe only has a few dollars, winds up being like, well,
why if you have the money, why can't you just
get Why am I in the middle of this? And
then eventually I just started photocopying dollar bills so I
could give that to the lunch lady. And then my
(08:04):
dad found out about that, and then instead of giving
me money, he's just started helping me photocopy dollar bills
to make him look more realistic.
Speaker 9 (08:13):
Your photo copy dollar bills right for lunch money. What
I'm noticing, Gary, is that your dad didn't just model
these questionable behaviors, but he encouraged it.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
However, I do think of things that he did that
was great too, And that's kind of what brings me
here is that, you know, I don't know if it
was all bad.
Speaker 9 (08:39):
You're about to enter into a pretty intense journey. Are
you afraid at all about how things are going to
turn out?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I mean, yeah, I'm afraid.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
I'm going to be talking to a whole bunch of
different people that are from my past and my dad's past,
and there's a chance that somebody may reach out to
him before I'm even ready to talk to him. And
you know, there's also like, if I opened the door
to him, there's a chance that he hurts me and
my family all over again. As a comic, I'm on
(09:20):
the road all the time, and right now I'm traveling
with comedians Sam Morrell. Sam is one of the funniest
people and one of my close friends. We have a
lot in common too. Aside from being comedians, we both
have strained relationships with our biological fathers.
Speaker 10 (09:36):
It's funny, I've knew you for years before I knew
this stuff. So I was like, oh, Gary's like a
normal guy, but like everyone's got their thing.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
When I started doing stand up, because of my relationship
with my father and how I didn't want to like
have my last name become anything veet, I went as
Gary Roy basically because of Rodney Dangerfield was Jack Roy.
So I was like you and as Gary Roy yeah
for like the first six months, and I was just like,
let me try and build something and stand up under
(10:05):
this you know, pseudonym. And it was just so whenever
somebody would bring me up, it just didn't it didn't
feel right. Yeah. So, I mean one of the things
that I don't do and you do is I don't
talk about my dad at all on my act.
Speaker 10 (10:20):
It's unusual because you actually, for a joke, I are
pretty autobiographical. A lot of joke people who do the
misdirect style that you do, it's like all lies, but
you're very honest in your act.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah, I really do.
Speaker 10 (10:33):
But you avoid that, but you do avoid that.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
I avoid it, and part of my thinking I don't
want to give my dad any credit. I don't want
him to think that I came up with a joke
for him, and then I'm thinking about him.
Speaker 10 (10:49):
It's for you at the end, I know, like that
to me, that says that you have anger toward him,
and you should the fact that you don't want to
give him anything, right, But I mean, you're making this
podcast from meet like early bits where like you know,
people would say, you know, is your biological father or
good dad? And I'd be like, if he were, I
probably wouldn't refer to him as my biological father.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Love that jet they were quick laughs.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Yeah. It's like I showed Ali a picture of him
once and she was like, you look like him, and
I was like, it makes me so upset.
Speaker 10 (11:18):
How do you feel about looking like someone that you
don't like?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
I know, it's tough. I mean I wish I looked
like you know, Bradley Cooper. I wish that was the case.
I didn't really feel like I had an incredibly fulfilling childhood.
My parents were constantly fighting, and to a point where
they weren't physically fighting but it was crazy yelling that
(11:43):
would constantly go on where cops would get called by.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Either my mom or my dad. Damn.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
And it's pretty embarrassing when you're a kid living in
a pretty like nice house and cops would just be outside,
and you know, I have friends in the neighborhood where
next day at school they'd be like.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
So, why were cops outside? And you kind of just
curl into a ball where you're just like, oh.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
It was just had like a little health scare in
the house, just trying to make up anything, not knowing
if they buy it or not. I would be so embarrassed.
I wouldn't even have friends come over my entire high
school life. I didn't have friends come over my house.
I was too embarrassed because I didn't know what was
going to happen between my parents.
Speaker 10 (12:23):
Damn.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
By the spring of my sophomore year of high school,
I knew there was no way I was going to
be able to make it another two years living under
the same roof as my parents. Both my sisters had
left for college, and I was all alone. It was
just me and my dog Kobe. I knew some kids
through playing hockey that went to a private boarding school
in Massachusetts, and I saw this as my way out.
(12:49):
So I filled out all the paperwork, and in a
surprise joint decision, my parents both agreed to send me away.
You know, most teenagers would be upset if they were
sent to boarding school. I, on the other hand, was
glad to go.
Speaker 10 (13:03):
Did you blame me they're your parents, or did you
like they're just both they can't get it together?
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Well, I was blaming my dad, and like I was
really you know, when I was saying I had a
bad childhood, it's tough because my childhood is what also
shaped me to be who I am.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
So I appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
I mean, you have to appreciate your experiences, I think
and look at the positive things that have come from it.
So at the time, I was definitely angry, more angry
at my dad than my mom. It seemed my dad
was really mistreating my mom and I didn't understand why.
And he would talk to me about it and he'd
be like, when you get older, you'll understand. Well, it's
(13:42):
like I'm older and making a whole podcast to try
and figure this shit out.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (13:48):
Was he a charming guy though?
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Yeah, he would get things out of people that that,
you know, you'd be surprised he'd be able to pull
off anything. I mean, you know the you know, the
sports stories that he was able to do. And then
he has some other other con stuff that I've heard
stories about that I'm gonna ask other family members.
Speaker 10 (14:04):
Well, you ever worried for safety. I mean, this is
like kind of sketchy stuff.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
I blocked it out for so long, But as a kid,
people were constantly showing up at our house pissed at
my father, yelling at him on our front lawn, and
it was always about money. I remember one instance when
a man dressed in a suit rang the doorbell like
fifty times in a row. My dad told my family
to be quiet and not answer the door. Then this
guy walks around to the back of our house and
(14:31):
starts looking through our windows. He was relentless because then
he just sat in his car waiting in our driveway.
A little while later, realizing he wasn't leaving, my dad
took off all his clothes and walked out in nothing
but a towel, apologizing that he'd just gotten out of
the shower and hadn't heard the doorbell. He then handed
(14:52):
the guy an envelope full of cash.
Speaker 10 (14:55):
Do you ask your mom ever about this?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
No, wouldn't We went and talk about it to this today.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
I have not talked to my mom about my father
in twenty four years.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Yeah, I haven't mentioned him. She has no idea I'm
doing this podcast yet. I'm going to her house with
Ali as soon as we get off the road. I'm
going to ask her if she'll be on it, and
I have no idea what she'll say.
Speaker 10 (15:19):
Be great at the end of this podcast, your dad
just like charms you today. He cons you and you're
just another victim of this. You're like, it's possible. I
turned out he was a great guy and I was wrong.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Man.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Yeah, I mean I'm opening up Pandora's box by letting
him into my life. For sure. It's so crazy to
think about my parents being married. I have zero memories
of them being happy together or even liking each other.
But I know it happened because I found this old
tape of them on vacation.
Speaker 6 (15:48):
Hi, honey, right, what do you want to get to say?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Letting the kids.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Having a great time too?
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Bid?
Speaker 3 (15:57):
You couldn't make it.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
That's them in the Cayman Isle.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
But even my parents' vacation was rooted in one of
my father's lies. The only way they were able to
go was because my dad entered a contest in the
early nineties on Fox five's Good Day New York. They
were looking for someone with the worst first date story,
and the winner got a free trip to the Caribbean.
This was a walk in the park for my father.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
He went on live.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
TV, where his completely fabricated story beat out three other contestants.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
We really miss your kids, We really do.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, Mommy, you miss Gary.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Oh, I miss Gary and miss Scanny.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
I really do think that used your practice because you're
told where your mother is terrible.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
You can't be nasty while you're asking her for a fever.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
I'm not going to be. It's not asking her favorite.
So here I am driving to my mom's house with
Ali and our son Sullivan to ask if she'll be
on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
When is the last time that you spoke about your
father with your mom?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
When?
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Seriously when never.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
We've been together ten years and I have not once
heard your mom mention your dad ever, like ever, even
when she talks about like you as a baby, or
your childhood.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Or anything like that. I've never once heard her mention him.
Speaker 6 (17:13):
Yeah, she's not a big fan.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
You know, obviously she's not meaning that has not been
a topic of conversation in ten years. And you can't
even have a conversation with her about like egg salad.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I mean, honestly, I think your mother is going to
be so taken aback.
Speaker 6 (17:29):
Yeah, I mean, what are you gonna say?
Speaker 4 (17:31):
I am going to say that I am doing a
podcast and don't doing it about well, I'm going to
get to that. I want to say, I'm doing a podcast.
It's about my childhood, but it's mainly about my relationship
with my father, and I'm interviewing different people, people that
(17:56):
know him, and you know him, don't you. Well, so
say something like that, Yeah, I may need your help
on this.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
You need me to put it by two cents.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
In just here and there, Like, God, you're gonna be
there when I'm saying I know.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
And I'm like so uncomfortable about it.
Speaker 8 (18:24):
All right, boy, you're ready, yep, as ready as I'll
ever be.
Speaker 6 (18:42):
God. All right, Sally, see Granny.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Despite all my preparation, I was still nervous about bringing
up my father to my mom. I kept waiting for
the perfect moment, but there is never a right time
to bring up the man who made her life. Hell,
so as we sat down for lunch, I decided it
was now or never. So I have something to tell you.
(19:28):
It's good news. I sold the podcast to iHeartRadio. But
there is a catch.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
It's about my father.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
That sound you heard was my mom's fork literally dropping
out of her hand.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Well, that didn't go as I'd hoped.
Speaker 5 (20:07):
That was really intense, and my heart breaks for your mom.
That's the first time I've ever seen you and your
mom cry together, which was like.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Pretty nuts.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
I think you need to understand her hesitation, obviously because
your father hasn't gone after you the past twenty years.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
You know, I went in there and wanted to ask
her to help me.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Yeah, but in helping you, I mean I.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Blocked out a lot of those things.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I realized that her experience, although my experience was also bad,
she had it even you know, she had it the worst.
Speaker 11 (20:49):
And you know, I mean the fact that she was
even she was even talking to me about the things yeah,
that we never talked about before, was I mean, that
was amazing.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
And you're her mother clawed her way out of an
unbelievably impossible situation, the potential for there to be any
repercussions on her Negatively, of course, why would your mother
want to do that.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
He made her life a living health and right now
he's not any has nothing to do with her life.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yeah, but this would open up the door, even if.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
She doesn't say anything bad, like than any of the
bad stuff, which you know would obviously give them more
reason to come after her.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
But I get just mentioning his name.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
I get what you're looking for, the origin story, anything
like that, But I think her fears that if he
even hears her speaking his name.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
It's ammunition.
Speaker 6 (21:42):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
You're gonna keep going.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
I mean, her not saying anything from the woman who
would do anything for you, which I believe your mother
would in a heartbeat, speaks volumes. It validates that he
even more. You know, I was not expecting you to cry.
(22:08):
I feel closer to your mother, But that also must
have been really hard for you, Like you were crying
with your mom. When's the last time your mom saw
you cry? I don't know exactly, because you buried a
lot of this stuff.
Speaker 8 (22:23):
Yeah, you're gonna cry again.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
It's okay, Babida Bibeta. We in an emergency session.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
That's the thing is, I'm not going to be able
to control him as.
Speaker 7 (22:35):
Much as I remember him being a piece of garbage
in my childhood. I I wish, you know, I wish
he was just like the Sports Illustrated.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Story, But it's not.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
You can twist like the Sports Illustrated stuff like you
can you can play with a lot of the things
that happened to shed a positive light on them. There
is it's impossible to shed a positive light on any
of your mom's experience.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
That's the problem.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
And even if she's talking about their first date and
stuff like that, it's still mentioning him.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Listen, we're doing this, We're in this, and I'm with
you till the freaking end.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
But I think you saying, and you are very smart,
but you can what you just said, you cannot control him,
I think is right. Don't underestimate the power of what
could happen.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
On the next episode of Number one Dad.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
So what do you think is the hardest part about
having a comment for a father?
Speaker 5 (23:37):
It was the domino effect of one lie after another
led to our family really just falling apart.
Speaker 6 (23:44):
Maybe I was naive at the time, but he knew
how to do certain things.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
He knew how to manipulate people.
Speaker 12 (23:50):
He had met Obama, but the way he would explain
it was that, you know, he had a tight relationship
with him.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Number One Dad is a production of Radio Point, Big
Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by
Gary Veter. Executive producers are Gary Veter, Adam Lowett, Alex Bach,
Daniel Powell, Huston Snyder, Kenneth Slotnik, and Brian Stern. Written
by Gary Veeter and Adam Lowett, Produced by Bernie Kaminsky.
(24:25):
Co producer is Taylor Kowalski, Edited and mixed by Ian
Sorrentino at Little Bear Audio.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Recording engineer is kat Iosa.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Original music by Andrew Gross Special thanks to Charlotte DeAnda.
Jonathan karsh Is creative consultant. Executive producers for Big Money
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts are Will Farrell, Hans Sonni
and Olivia Aguilar. Sound services were provided by
Host
Gary Vider
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