June 17, 2024 • 29 mins
Family Vacations. A Lacrosse injury. And a furniture scam. Gary talks to his sister Jamie about their childhood and she encourages him to reach out to their older sister, Danielle. But it won’t be easy. The last time Gary and Danielle spoke was 6 years ago. The reason? She started talking to their father again.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Previously on number one Dad. So I did some investigating
and I was able to find out that he's been
a defendant or plaintiff in twenty three court cases since
nineteen eighty four.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
That's just very good.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Do you ask your mom ever about this? No, we
wouldn't talk about it to this day. I have not
talked to my mom about my father in twenty four years. Wow,
So I have something to tell you. It's good news.
I saw the podcast to iHeartRadio, but there is a catch.
(00:37):
It's about my father. Well, that didn't go as I'd hoped.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I think you need to understand her hesitation.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
Obviously, because your father hasn't gone after you the past
twenty years.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
You know, I don't know what to do. You're gonna
keep going? I mean, obviously there was a ton of
stuff that was bad in our childhood, But do you
have any fond memories?
Speaker 4 (01:10):
I feel like the happiest stuff we had going on
in our childhood was the traveling that we did, although
we probably lied and scam just to get us on
the vacation.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I have two sisters, and that's one of them. Jamie.
I feel the exact same way as her. My best
memories with my family were our vacations together. One of
the few home videos I have is when we went
to the Grand Canyon. It's wild to hear all of
us in such a happy place. We're getting ready to
go to the Grand Canyon, horseback riding right.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Down the canyon.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Excuse man the mid.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
But we're gonna be leaving in a few minutes as
soon as we can get to India. Had a bed
right over there, and it is so what do you
think is the hardest part about having a comment for
a father?
Speaker 4 (02:02):
It was a doomino effect of one lie after another
led to our family really just falling apart.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
My father's behavior led to my parents getting divorced. Me
and my sisters Jamie and Danny chose to stick with
our mother. We all decided it would be best to
completely cut Manny out of our lives, but it came
out of cost. We weren't just ending things with him,
we were separating from anyone who spoke to him. This
included our grandparents, who we were all very close with. Sadly,
(02:32):
I never had a chance to reconcile with them before
they passed, and for me, this was the beginning of
my ability just to completely cut people off, which is
what I did to my oldest sister Danny. Years later,
in twenty fifteen, I learned Danny reconnected with our father.
I felt betrayed. It was a person I thought we
(02:52):
all agreed to hate, so naturally I immediately stopped talking
to her. I didn't tell her a reason, no conversation.
It was just over and Danny and I haven't spoken since.
But as much as this podcast is aimed at learning
the truth about my cod Man father and possibly reconciling
with him, the first relationship I want to repair is
(03:12):
with Danny.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
So what are you gonna do?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Are you gonna reach out to Danny?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I does she still talk to him?
Speaker 4 (03:19):
I mean, I really don't think she does. She told
me she doesn't, and I really do believe her.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
All right, Well, if I if I text her right now,
what would I even say? I don't even know where
to begin.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I think what you need to do is make it
short and sweet, and I think you need to just
reach out to her and say you want to talk?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
All right, I'm gonna write it. How's hi, Danny. I
know it's been a while, but would you be up
to talking? It's your brother Gary by the way, so
(04:03):
it's good.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
She might not remember yet that.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Uh what do I put like at like period at
the end? Smiley face?
Speaker 3 (04:12):
What do I do the emoji? All right? Like?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Is that good?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I like?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I know it's been a while, but would you be
up to send it?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Just send it?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Okay? Just send it all right? And sending send Okay,
I did it. Good job, This is number one Dad.
Still nothing from Danny.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
It's been like twenty minutes. You've been dodging her for
six years. Just give her a.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Minute, all right. One memory I have with my dad
is how we take on different personas. When he would
talk to people. He was like some con owner's chameleon,
constantly changing who he was to get stuff out of people.
I was relieved to hear Jamie remembering him in the
exact same way.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
But didn't matter where we were, he would turn himself
into whatever character he needed to be. We could walk
into a Greek restaurant and all of a sudden, he'd
have a Greek accents. Yeah, you know, you walk into
the Jewish Delhi and he's speaking Yiddish. He could be Russian.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
He's Russian, just.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Like sneaking into MSG what fuel my father was this
endless drive to know that he could pull one over
on people, and it didn't matter how big or small
an opportunity was. He had to know he could get
away with it. My father didn't love to lie, he
needed to. I was able to locate a YouTube clip
of him back in twenty thirteen at the Israeli Day Parade.
(05:51):
The prey takes place in New York City along Fifth Avenue.
A lot of high profile politicians and diplomatic officers from
various countries of ten which is a perfect event for
someone like my father to mingle, and sure enough he
brought his camera to give him access. The audio clip
I'm about to play is him talking to two diplomats
from Greece. It took me back and reminded me of
(06:13):
how good of a bullshitter he is. Yasui. My father
starts speaking Greek to them. He says, hello, in good health.
What do you do for the florist of the vision?
My father gets right down to business and asks what
they do? Are you elected officials for a certain area?
(06:34):
They respond, the Ambassador to the United Nations and the
Counselor General. The Ambassador to the United nations in the count.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
If you need anything, you have my cod. Very ball
in Washington, Younger.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
My dad tells them, if they need anything, you have
my card. I'm very involved in Washington. They say, thank you.
This is textbook my dad making himself sound more than
he actually is. Get absolutely no involvement in Washington. Zero.
But once again, just like everybody else, these guys bought it.
(07:11):
I ran my sports illustrated scam with him. That was
our thing. Did you have anything that ever took place
when you were a kid.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
So a couple of experiences. I had been running track
in high school. I was track, but we were running
on the road. Par drove by kids did it. They
slowed down and whacked us with lacrossticks. I did legitimately
get a pretty bad injury to my arm at the time.
After that, he had me going to neurologists. I'm having MRIs,
(07:41):
I'm having all sorts of scans, and I'm getting stuck
with like all sorts of needles in my arms and
getting quarters on shots because he wants me to act
like my injury is even worse for a payout. He
was telling me what I should be saying. When the
neurologists asked me questions. Make sure you tell them that
(08:03):
these are the fingers you can't feel. You could feel
these two, but you can't feel these three.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Basically, you know, give.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Like the specific symptoms of an injury that's going to
show that I have like some kind of permanent damage
to my arm. Given the opportunity, that guy will sue
anybody totally.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Did you have a specific moment where you're like, I'm
cutting them off?
Speaker 4 (08:24):
He offered me one hundred dollars to not come to
my high school graduation. He had a business meeting in Canada,
which was like really interesting because at the time I
don't remember him having a business. There was no business.
Like one hundred dollars will substitute a parent's presence at
one of these milestone events.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, by the way, that one hundred dollars was counterfeit.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
It probably was.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Where do you think he lives now?
Speaker 4 (08:52):
I believe he lives, possibly in that house in Dix Hills.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
In our childho at home.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I believe ya.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Back in the early eighties, my father owned and operated
a furniture showroom a few blocks from the Empire State
Building called Designer's Gallery, where he sold high end living
room and dining room sets. As a kid, I remember
my dad having my sisters and I act as walking billboards,
wearing bright yellow Designer's Gallery t shirts and sweatshirts wherever
(09:22):
we went. I was about five years old when the
business abruptly closed. Recently, I discovered it was actually covered
on the news well Long Island.
Speaker 6 (09:36):
After dozens of buyers claimed they were cheated. The state
Attorney General's office filed suit yesterday against a Manhattan furniture dealer,
seeking restitution, damages, and an order barring the firm from
operating a furniture business in the state. The lawsuit was
filed against VET Sales, Inc. And names its president Mandy Veder.
VET Sales does business as Designer's Gallery on West thirty
first Street. A spokeswoman for Attorney General Robert Abrams said
(09:59):
the office had received more than one hundred complaints against
the firm, including that it took deposits of up to
twenty five hundred dollars, failed to deliver or deliver damaged goods,
refused to return deposits, and failed to pay court judgments
obtained by consumers.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I reached out to Jkasak, one of my father's old
associates in the furniture business. Jay and my father wore
hand in hand on a lot of business deals, but
they had a falling out, and I learned it's been
three years since they last spoke. One of the first
things Jay brought up was my dad's ability to adopt
voices and accents.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
He speaks French and you know who knew?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Yeah, I didn't know that he spoke French either, right, I.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Mean, his personality is unbelievable, you know how he does that.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I remember my father being somebody who had to lie.
Was he that way in business?
Speaker 5 (10:50):
Maybe I was naive at the time, right, But he
knew how to do certain things. He knew how to
manipulate people.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Jay was hesitant to give specifics. I can't say for or,
but just like my mom, I think people who have
been involved with my father are reluctant to talk about
him because they're afraid of possible repercussions or blowback.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
He knew how to get what he wanted. And I
don't mean like salesmanship. He just knew what to say
and it always came with a friendly smile and all
of that. And that was really impressive. To me because
I didn't know many people that could have done that.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Absolutely. Yeah, there's salesmanship, and then there's my dad who's
he just has a different type of quality about him
that he's able to get things from people.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
And I saw it in action. I was very impressed
meeting people, creating situations, getting them to do what he
wanted them to do, and it all fell into place,
and I learned some of those tricks, actually I really did.
Those were those were great things, you know, things we
were a little exaggerated, like sative things, but it worked.
(11:59):
There was another other guy who knew him, also Eli,
and he was from Brooklyn and he's still in touch
with me. This fella, he was a retailer and he
became a customer of Manny's as well, but he had
he had some personal problems with Manny and getting the furniture,
so he exited. But the two of them don't talk anymore.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
M all right.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
I just got off the subway and I am on
my way to therapy. I don't know. Maybe part of
the reason I'm doing this podcast is to show my
dad that I didn't.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
End up blake him.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Because the blueprint was there. That's probably what they're gonna
be talking about today, Hibbabita. How's it going?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Hi, Darry, I'm all right. Whis been happening since our
last session?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Well?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I tried talking to my mom and she doesn't want
to be on the podcast, but I'm going to still,
you know, push forward and try learning more about my dad.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I think you're bringing up something that's going to be
really relevant in your journey, like where are boundaries as
far as how you're figuring this out? Because everybody is
going to have their set of feelings. So I think
a couple of questions that you could ask yourself, are
there things about my father that are good? Because if
there aren't, what does that mean about me? And I'm
(13:38):
wondering if this quest might we say that it's also
you ensuring Hey, I'm not all bad either. You know,
there's some good stuff about me too, being his son. Yeah,
what part of you connects to spaces where there are
qualities of your dad? You'd say, oh, that exists.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
I don't know, really this is a quality. But back
when I was a sophomore in college, I started stealing
college exams. I was in this accounting class. I realized
that my professor and the day of the exam, there
are two classes, and I was in the later class,
and he would lay out all the exams in alphabetical order,
(14:20):
and they were in these big lecture halls. So what
I would do is show up to the first class
and just take a random person's tests off their desk,
and then I go and I'd bring it to somebody
who I knew was smart, and they would fill out
all the answers, and then I would even sell that
exam to other students that were in my class. I
stole the midterm, I stole a final, so I was
(14:41):
able to get away with this. And part of me
is like, yeah, this is something my father would have done.
I really felt that way, and I didn't like that
feeling whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
It's significant that you recognize that your behavior was exactly
like your father's. How does that feel.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
It's scary. It's scary to think that there's a part
of him that lives inside of me. Okay, but once
I got out of college, I was like, I can't
do anything like this. I can't be my father.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
What a turning point for you. Your dad laid a
foundation of getting away with things from the time you
were a little boy, like figuring out how to get
away with it, even if it's like lying or cheating,
even if things are illegal. As you're starting to uncover things,
as you're hearing stories, I really think about is it
(15:30):
possible to reconcile? Is it possible that there are pieces
of my dad that I haven't known? But is it
possible that maybe I won't But it doesn't matter. I
just don't want to regret not knowing.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Like part of this also involves me talking to my
sister Danny and her and I we haven't spoken in years,
and I cut her off the same way I cut
my dad off.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Why did you cut off that relationship with your sister?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
My reason is because she started speaking to my dad
and as soon as I found that out, I was like,
I can't trust her anymore. But now here I am
trying to learn more about my father and I get
given him another chance, just like she did.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I can see why you would want to speak to her.
Are you concerned that you won't want to talk to
you after all this time?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Well, I sent her a text and I haven't heard
back yet, but I'm hopeful that she's going to be
up for talking to me.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Great, you gets ready?
Speaker 5 (16:37):
We're going? Where are we going? Now?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Guys?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Where what to stop?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Up?
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Where?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Palm springs?
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
James, what do you think?
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Damn?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yes, you guess?
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Darry, what do you said now?
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Shane Closet.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I just got a text from Danny. She wants to talk,
So I am gonna call her it FaceTime, actually, but
I told her that doing a podcast about our father,
and she's fully on board. So yeah, I'm gonna talk
to my sister. Hey, Hey, I'll go first, just so
(17:31):
we could clear the air a little bit.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
So I know, me texting you is like out of
the blue, and I you know, it was a tough
thing to do because you know, part of why I
stopped talking to you altogether was because you you talked
to our father, and you know, I want to I
want to be honest with you, like I felt betrayed,
like I didn't really want to have anything to do
(17:56):
with him, and I felt that by you talking to
him him, and if I was to continue to talk
to you, it'd be somehow letting him into my life.
And I feel bad that I've missed things over the
last six years. Been a part of your life and
your kids' lives, but it was something I felt that
I needed to do so I wouldn't have him be
a part of anything that I was doing.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
I mean, I'm not going to say that it hasn't hurt,
because I think not speaking to you and not being
a part of your life and being there for the
birth of your first kid and sharing holidays together, that's
probably been the hardest thing for me, and also just
(18:38):
knowing that there's also been a huge void in my
kid's lives not having their uncle around. It was never
my intention to hurt you.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
I think.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
For myself, letting Manny into my life at the point
in time, which I did, was for my own healing.
I think for me, the young or thing that I
really struggle with is I didn't know when we stopped talking.
I didn't know that I had to make a choice.
(19:11):
I didn't know that I had a choice. I didn't
know that it was him or you, because I would
have chose you every single time. It was never about
me sharing information about what was going on in your
lives and betraying you, guys in any way. It was
simply because I felt I needed to get past certain things,
(19:34):
and that was the purpose behind it all.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Now that's out of the way. You don't still talk
to him right now.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
It's been quite a few years. It was at least
three years.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Ago, okay, So I mean, after everything we've been through,
what was it like talking to our father?
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Definitely very guarded. I wanted to see if he would
show remorse for the things that he knew really tore
us apart as a family that he did. Did he no,
you know, to this day, I don't think I've ever
heard him say I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Did he say what he was doing back then?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
One of the things that he would say was that
he was he was taking trips down to Washington, d C.
Somehow he became a lead photographer or a reporter. He
had met Obama. But the way he would explain it
was that, you know, he had a tight relationship with him.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
It was with Obama.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah. Then it came to, you know, closer to you know,
the most recent elections where you know, Trump was Trump
was running and all of a sudden, meeting Trump and
like he met Trump. That's that's what he had said.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
That's crazy. He said that he met Obama. He said
that he met Trump on Facebook. I looked him up
his profile pictures with Biden. That means he met the
three sitting presidents.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Yeah, he has somehow put himself in a position where
he has made these connections.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Do you remember when we were kids, how we would
use different accents when he would be on the phone
with people.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Yeah, he had a furniture business and people would call
on different lines, and depending on what line it was,
it was this one we don't answer all the time,
this one we do. And then he would answer a
phone call in most cases, and all of a sudden
his voice would be disguised. All of a sudden, he
(21:35):
had this thick Israeli accent, and no he wasn't many
veter and someone questioned him on the phone, he was,
you know, Michael Wolfe or some other obscure name, just
to avoid whatever anyone was looking for on the other end.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, I remember that as a kid. That phone was
enormous and it had a million buttons on it. I've
never seen a phone like that since where you're like,
what is going on? And hearing him do that like
you're watching you know, a movie, almost because it's just
a great actor playing a part.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
I remember people reaching out you, where's my furniture? I
sent you money? And he always had a story as
to where it was. You know it was coming. Oh, yes,
I'm looking up your paperwork right now, when he had
nothing in front of him. It'll be there in six weeks.
I mean, it's truly crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Did you ever feel like he was watching you? I
felt that he was watching us, showing up at places
where I wouldn't expect him to be. I felt that
I always had a look over my shoulder.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
So this is probably back in two thousands. I had
a guy that I was dating down in the South
Florida area in West Palm Beach. There was a strip
that had a bunch of restaurants and bars, and we
had been out for not too long. But all I
(23:05):
remember is someone tapping me on the shoulder. And this
is twenty two years later, and I will never forget it. Said, hey,
they're a little lady. I turn around and it's our father.
I hadn't at this point spoken to him in many years,
and I just remember being in such shock. My boyfriend
(23:27):
at the time knew that we didn't speak, and I
remember him just saying, you need to respect her wishes.
And let her be and we wound up leaving, but
it was almost like he was tracking me.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Jeez, But I mean, you still reached out to him
years later. What made you do it?
Speaker 3 (23:47):
So? I just felt that I needed to come up
with my own conclusions about him now as an adult,
and it's definitely helped me heal in a lot of ways.
The outcome isn't what I had had hoped for, But
at the same time, I don't have any doubts about
whether or not the decision I made to distance myself
(24:11):
from him was valid.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I mean, that's why I'm doing this whole podcast. And
I know that I know we had our reasons for
not talking to him anymore when we were younger, But
what was the reason you stopped talking to him the
second time?
Speaker 3 (24:27):
So he had taken a trip to Israel and had
met up with a great uncle of ours who was
not doing well, and it was brought to my attention
from that side of the family that Manny had somehow
convinced him to hand off some valuable items family heirlooms
(24:52):
to him, and that was really the last that the
family saw those things, and that was the end of it.
He would call I didn't answer the phone, I didn't
respond to messages. I just avoided conversation with him.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
That's crazy, and I mean, I'm wondering does he live
in our house still?
Speaker 3 (25:18):
So I'm not sure where he is now, but I
can say that he's still He had the house when
I last spoke with him.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Do you have his phone number?
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I deleted his cell phone number, but the old house
phone was working when we last spoke.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Okay, so I know this won't come as a shock
or anything, but I have been seeing a therapist and
one of the things we talked about was reaching out
to you. But I have to say, like, after having
our conversation and seeing where you were coming from, it
is the exact reason why I'm doing this. It's I
(25:57):
understand more about the decisions that you made, and I
hope that I could get some of those answers that
you got by talking to him, and whether it was
closure or not that that happens. And I had to
say that, you know, I feel awful that so much
time has gone by of us not talking and I
would like us to reconnect and that this isn't just
the end of it.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
So too, I think one of the things that we
did really well as a family was brushing things under
the rug. And I think that one of the reasons
why I opened myself up to I don't even want
to call it a reconciliation with Manny, I want to
(26:40):
call it more of an experiment, was because I felt
it was the healthiest approach to healing and to kind
of getting those answers to some questions. Maybe things that
you couldn't put into words before in your younger years,
but things that I think you really need to properly
(27:02):
close the book on if you're going to truly get
past six.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Yeah, you know, I really I do appreciate you talking
to me, and I know it's been forever and we
never had a heart to heart, and I want to
see you soon. Yeah, I feel the same, all right,
they'll talk to you in six years. Reaching out to
Danny and having a serious conversation was totally out of
(27:26):
my comfort zone, but it was exactly what I needed.
I now see her reasons for talking to our father
again are the same as mine. To get answers and
to see if he's changed. I feel like I'm ready
to reach out to him. It is March ninth, twenty
(27:47):
twenty two and I Am Going to Call My house
phone Number one Dad is a production of Radio Point,
(28:22):
Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted
by Gary Veter. Executive producers are Gary Veeter, Adam Lowett,
Alex Bach, Daniel Powell, Huston Snyder, Kenneth Slotnik, and Brian Stern.
Written by Gary Veeter and Adam Lowett, Produced by Bernie Kaminsky.
Co producer is Taylor Kowalski, Edited and mixed by Ian
(28:44):
Sorrentino at Little Bear Audio. Recording engineer is kat Iosa.
Original music by Andrew Gross. Special thanks to Charlotte DeAnda
Jonathan carsh Is creative consultant. Executive producers for Big Money
Players Network and iHeart podcast are Will Farrell, Hansani and
Olivia Aguilar. Sound services were provided by Great City Posts.
Previously on number one Dad. So I did some investigating
and I was able to find out that he's been
a defendant or plaintiff in twenty three court cases since
nineteen eighty four.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
That's just very good.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Do you ask your mom ever about this? No, we
wouldn't talk about it to this day. I have not
talked to my mom about my father in twenty four years. Wow,
So I have something to tell you. It's good news.
I saw the podcast to iHeartRadio, but there is a catch.
(00:37):
It's about my father. Well, that didn't go as I'd hoped.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I think you need to understand her hesitation.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
Obviously, because your father hasn't gone after you the past
twenty years.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
You know, I don't know what to do. You're gonna
keep going? I mean, obviously there was a ton of
stuff that was bad in our childhood, But do you
have any fond memories?
Speaker 4 (01:10):
I feel like the happiest stuff we had going on
in our childhood was the traveling that we did, although
we probably lied and scam just to get us on
the vacation.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I have two sisters, and that's one of them. Jamie.
I feel the exact same way as her. My best
memories with my family were our vacations together. One of
the few home videos I have is when we went
to the Grand Canyon. It's wild to hear all of
us in such a happy place. We're getting ready to
go to the Grand Canyon, horseback riding right.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Down the canyon.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Excuse man the mid.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
But we're gonna be leaving in a few minutes as
soon as we can get to India. Had a bed
right over there, and it is so what do you
think is the hardest part about having a comment for
a father?
Speaker 4 (02:02):
It was a doomino effect of one lie after another
led to our family really just falling apart.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
My father's behavior led to my parents getting divorced. Me
and my sisters Jamie and Danny chose to stick with
our mother. We all decided it would be best to
completely cut Manny out of our lives, but it came
out of cost. We weren't just ending things with him,
we were separating from anyone who spoke to him. This
included our grandparents, who we were all very close with. Sadly,
(02:32):
I never had a chance to reconcile with them before
they passed, and for me, this was the beginning of
my ability just to completely cut people off, which is
what I did to my oldest sister Danny. Years later,
in twenty fifteen, I learned Danny reconnected with our father.
I felt betrayed. It was a person I thought we
(02:52):
all agreed to hate, so naturally I immediately stopped talking
to her. I didn't tell her a reason, no conversation.
It was just over and Danny and I haven't spoken since.
But as much as this podcast is aimed at learning
the truth about my cod Man father and possibly reconciling
with him, the first relationship I want to repair is
(03:12):
with Danny.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
So what are you gonna do?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Are you gonna reach out to Danny?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I does she still talk to him?
Speaker 4 (03:19):
I mean, I really don't think she does. She told
me she doesn't, and I really do believe her.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
All right, Well, if I if I text her right now,
what would I even say? I don't even know where
to begin.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I think what you need to do is make it
short and sweet, and I think you need to just
reach out to her and say you want to talk?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
All right, I'm gonna write it. How's hi, Danny. I
know it's been a while, but would you be up
to talking? It's your brother Gary by the way, so
(04:03):
it's good.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
She might not remember yet that.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Uh what do I put like at like period at
the end? Smiley face?
Speaker 3 (04:12):
What do I do the emoji? All right? Like?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Is that good?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I like?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I know it's been a while, but would you be
up to send it?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Just send it?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Okay? Just send it all right? And sending send Okay,
I did it. Good job, This is number one Dad.
Still nothing from Danny.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
It's been like twenty minutes. You've been dodging her for
six years. Just give her a.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Minute, all right. One memory I have with my dad
is how we take on different personas. When he would
talk to people. He was like some con owner's chameleon,
constantly changing who he was to get stuff out of people.
I was relieved to hear Jamie remembering him in the
exact same way.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
But didn't matter where we were, he would turn himself
into whatever character he needed to be. We could walk
into a Greek restaurant and all of a sudden, he'd
have a Greek accents. Yeah, you know, you walk into
the Jewish Delhi and he's speaking Yiddish. He could be Russian.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
He's Russian, just.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Like sneaking into MSG what fuel my father was this
endless drive to know that he could pull one over
on people, and it didn't matter how big or small
an opportunity was. He had to know he could get
away with it. My father didn't love to lie, he
needed to. I was able to locate a YouTube clip
of him back in twenty thirteen at the Israeli Day Parade.
(05:51):
The prey takes place in New York City along Fifth Avenue.
A lot of high profile politicians and diplomatic officers from
various countries of ten which is a perfect event for
someone like my father to mingle, and sure enough he
brought his camera to give him access. The audio clip
I'm about to play is him talking to two diplomats
from Greece. It took me back and reminded me of
(06:13):
how good of a bullshitter he is. Yasui. My father
starts speaking Greek to them. He says, hello, in good health.
What do you do for the florist of the vision?
My father gets right down to business and asks what
they do? Are you elected officials for a certain area?
(06:34):
They respond, the Ambassador to the United Nations and the
Counselor General. The Ambassador to the United nations in the count.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
If you need anything, you have my cod. Very ball
in Washington, Younger.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
My dad tells them, if they need anything, you have
my card. I'm very involved in Washington. They say, thank you.
This is textbook my dad making himself sound more than
he actually is. Get absolutely no involvement in Washington. Zero.
But once again, just like everybody else, these guys bought it.
(07:11):
I ran my sports illustrated scam with him. That was
our thing. Did you have anything that ever took place
when you were a kid.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
So a couple of experiences. I had been running track
in high school. I was track, but we were running
on the road. Par drove by kids did it. They
slowed down and whacked us with lacrossticks. I did legitimately
get a pretty bad injury to my arm at the time.
After that, he had me going to neurologists. I'm having MRIs,
(07:41):
I'm having all sorts of scans, and I'm getting stuck
with like all sorts of needles in my arms and
getting quarters on shots because he wants me to act
like my injury is even worse for a payout. He
was telling me what I should be saying. When the
neurologists asked me questions. Make sure you tell them that
(08:03):
these are the fingers you can't feel. You could feel
these two, but you can't feel these three.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Basically, you know, give.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Like the specific symptoms of an injury that's going to
show that I have like some kind of permanent damage
to my arm. Given the opportunity, that guy will sue
anybody totally.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Did you have a specific moment where you're like, I'm
cutting them off?
Speaker 4 (08:24):
He offered me one hundred dollars to not come to
my high school graduation. He had a business meeting in Canada,
which was like really interesting because at the time I
don't remember him having a business. There was no business.
Like one hundred dollars will substitute a parent's presence at
one of these milestone events.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, by the way, that one hundred dollars was counterfeit.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
It probably was.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Where do you think he lives now?
Speaker 4 (08:52):
I believe he lives, possibly in that house in Dix Hills.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
In our childho at home.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I believe ya.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Back in the early eighties, my father owned and operated
a furniture showroom a few blocks from the Empire State
Building called Designer's Gallery, where he sold high end living
room and dining room sets. As a kid, I remember
my dad having my sisters and I act as walking billboards,
wearing bright yellow Designer's Gallery t shirts and sweatshirts wherever
(09:22):
we went. I was about five years old when the
business abruptly closed. Recently, I discovered it was actually covered
on the news well Long Island.
Speaker 6 (09:36):
After dozens of buyers claimed they were cheated. The state
Attorney General's office filed suit yesterday against a Manhattan furniture dealer,
seeking restitution, damages, and an order barring the firm from
operating a furniture business in the state. The lawsuit was
filed against VET Sales, Inc. And names its president Mandy Veder.
VET Sales does business as Designer's Gallery on West thirty
first Street. A spokeswoman for Attorney General Robert Abrams said
(09:59):
the office had received more than one hundred complaints against
the firm, including that it took deposits of up to
twenty five hundred dollars, failed to deliver or deliver damaged goods,
refused to return deposits, and failed to pay court judgments
obtained by consumers.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I reached out to Jkasak, one of my father's old
associates in the furniture business. Jay and my father wore
hand in hand on a lot of business deals, but
they had a falling out, and I learned it's been
three years since they last spoke. One of the first
things Jay brought up was my dad's ability to adopt
voices and accents.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
He speaks French and you know who knew?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Yeah, I didn't know that he spoke French either, right, I.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Mean, his personality is unbelievable, you know how he does that.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I remember my father being somebody who had to lie.
Was he that way in business?
Speaker 5 (10:50):
Maybe I was naive at the time, right, But he
knew how to do certain things. He knew how to
manipulate people.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Jay was hesitant to give specifics. I can't say for or,
but just like my mom, I think people who have
been involved with my father are reluctant to talk about
him because they're afraid of possible repercussions or blowback.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
He knew how to get what he wanted. And I
don't mean like salesmanship. He just knew what to say
and it always came with a friendly smile and all
of that. And that was really impressive. To me because
I didn't know many people that could have done that.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Absolutely. Yeah, there's salesmanship, and then there's my dad who's
he just has a different type of quality about him
that he's able to get things from people.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
And I saw it in action. I was very impressed
meeting people, creating situations, getting them to do what he
wanted them to do, and it all fell into place,
and I learned some of those tricks, actually I really did.
Those were those were great things, you know, things we
were a little exaggerated, like sative things, but it worked.
(11:59):
There was another other guy who knew him, also Eli,
and he was from Brooklyn and he's still in touch
with me. This fella, he was a retailer and he
became a customer of Manny's as well, but he had
he had some personal problems with Manny and getting the furniture,
so he exited. But the two of them don't talk anymore.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
M all right.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
I just got off the subway and I am on
my way to therapy. I don't know. Maybe part of
the reason I'm doing this podcast is to show my
dad that I didn't.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
End up blake him.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Because the blueprint was there. That's probably what they're gonna
be talking about today, Hibbabita. How's it going?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Hi, Darry, I'm all right. Whis been happening since our
last session?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Well?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I tried talking to my mom and she doesn't want
to be on the podcast, but I'm going to still,
you know, push forward and try learning more about my dad.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I think you're bringing up something that's going to be
really relevant in your journey, like where are boundaries as
far as how you're figuring this out? Because everybody is
going to have their set of feelings. So I think
a couple of questions that you could ask yourself, are
there things about my father that are good? Because if
there aren't, what does that mean about me? And I'm
(13:38):
wondering if this quest might we say that it's also
you ensuring Hey, I'm not all bad either. You know,
there's some good stuff about me too, being his son. Yeah,
what part of you connects to spaces where there are
qualities of your dad? You'd say, oh, that exists.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
I don't know, really this is a quality. But back
when I was a sophomore in college, I started stealing
college exams. I was in this accounting class. I realized
that my professor and the day of the exam, there
are two classes, and I was in the later class,
and he would lay out all the exams in alphabetical order,
(14:20):
and they were in these big lecture halls. So what
I would do is show up to the first class
and just take a random person's tests off their desk,
and then I go and I'd bring it to somebody
who I knew was smart, and they would fill out
all the answers, and then I would even sell that
exam to other students that were in my class. I
stole the midterm, I stole a final, so I was
(14:41):
able to get away with this. And part of me
is like, yeah, this is something my father would have done.
I really felt that way, and I didn't like that
feeling whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
It's significant that you recognize that your behavior was exactly
like your father's. How does that feel.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
It's scary. It's scary to think that there's a part
of him that lives inside of me. Okay, but once
I got out of college, I was like, I can't
do anything like this. I can't be my father.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
What a turning point for you. Your dad laid a
foundation of getting away with things from the time you
were a little boy, like figuring out how to get
away with it, even if it's like lying or cheating,
even if things are illegal. As you're starting to uncover things,
as you're hearing stories, I really think about is it
(15:30):
possible to reconcile? Is it possible that there are pieces
of my dad that I haven't known? But is it
possible that maybe I won't But it doesn't matter. I
just don't want to regret not knowing.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Like part of this also involves me talking to my
sister Danny and her and I we haven't spoken in years,
and I cut her off the same way I cut
my dad off.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Why did you cut off that relationship with your sister?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
My reason is because she started speaking to my dad
and as soon as I found that out, I was like,
I can't trust her anymore. But now here I am
trying to learn more about my father and I get
given him another chance, just like she did.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I can see why you would want to speak to her.
Are you concerned that you won't want to talk to
you after all this time?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Well, I sent her a text and I haven't heard
back yet, but I'm hopeful that she's going to be
up for talking to me.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Great, you gets ready?
Speaker 5 (16:37):
We're going? Where are we going? Now?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Guys?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Where what to stop?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Up?
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Where?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Palm springs?
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
James, what do you think?
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Damn?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yes, you guess?
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Darry, what do you said now?
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Shane Closet.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I just got a text from Danny. She wants to talk,
So I am gonna call her it FaceTime, actually, but
I told her that doing a podcast about our father,
and she's fully on board. So yeah, I'm gonna talk
to my sister. Hey, Hey, I'll go first, just so
(17:31):
we could clear the air a little bit.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
So I know, me texting you is like out of
the blue, and I you know, it was a tough
thing to do because you know, part of why I
stopped talking to you altogether was because you you talked
to our father, and you know, I want to I
want to be honest with you, like I felt betrayed,
like I didn't really want to have anything to do
(17:56):
with him, and I felt that by you talking to
him him, and if I was to continue to talk
to you, it'd be somehow letting him into my life.
And I feel bad that I've missed things over the
last six years. Been a part of your life and
your kids' lives, but it was something I felt that
I needed to do so I wouldn't have him be
a part of anything that I was doing.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
I mean, I'm not going to say that it hasn't hurt,
because I think not speaking to you and not being
a part of your life and being there for the
birth of your first kid and sharing holidays together, that's
probably been the hardest thing for me, and also just
(18:38):
knowing that there's also been a huge void in my
kid's lives not having their uncle around. It was never
my intention to hurt you.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
I think.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
For myself, letting Manny into my life at the point
in time, which I did, was for my own healing.
I think for me, the young or thing that I
really struggle with is I didn't know when we stopped talking.
I didn't know that I had to make a choice.
(19:11):
I didn't know that I had a choice. I didn't
know that it was him or you, because I would
have chose you every single time. It was never about
me sharing information about what was going on in your
lives and betraying you, guys in any way. It was
simply because I felt I needed to get past certain things,
(19:34):
and that was the purpose behind it all.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Now that's out of the way. You don't still talk
to him right now.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
It's been quite a few years. It was at least
three years.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Ago, okay, So I mean, after everything we've been through,
what was it like talking to our father?
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Definitely very guarded. I wanted to see if he would
show remorse for the things that he knew really tore
us apart as a family that he did. Did he no,
you know, to this day, I don't think I've ever
heard him say I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Did he say what he was doing back then?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
One of the things that he would say was that
he was he was taking trips down to Washington, d C.
Somehow he became a lead photographer or a reporter. He
had met Obama. But the way he would explain it
was that, you know, he had a tight relationship with him.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
It was with Obama.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah. Then it came to, you know, closer to you know,
the most recent elections where you know, Trump was Trump
was running and all of a sudden, meeting Trump and
like he met Trump. That's that's what he had said.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
That's crazy. He said that he met Obama. He said
that he met Trump on Facebook. I looked him up
his profile pictures with Biden. That means he met the
three sitting presidents.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Yeah, he has somehow put himself in a position where
he has made these connections.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Do you remember when we were kids, how we would
use different accents when he would be on the phone
with people.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Yeah, he had a furniture business and people would call
on different lines, and depending on what line it was,
it was this one we don't answer all the time,
this one we do. And then he would answer a
phone call in most cases, and all of a sudden
his voice would be disguised. All of a sudden, he
(21:35):
had this thick Israeli accent, and no he wasn't many
veter and someone questioned him on the phone, he was,
you know, Michael Wolfe or some other obscure name, just
to avoid whatever anyone was looking for on the other end.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, I remember that as a kid. That phone was
enormous and it had a million buttons on it. I've
never seen a phone like that since where you're like,
what is going on? And hearing him do that like
you're watching you know, a movie, almost because it's just
a great actor playing a part.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
I remember people reaching out you, where's my furniture? I
sent you money? And he always had a story as
to where it was. You know it was coming. Oh, yes,
I'm looking up your paperwork right now, when he had
nothing in front of him. It'll be there in six weeks.
I mean, it's truly crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Did you ever feel like he was watching you? I
felt that he was watching us, showing up at places
where I wouldn't expect him to be. I felt that
I always had a look over my shoulder.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
So this is probably back in two thousands. I had
a guy that I was dating down in the South
Florida area in West Palm Beach. There was a strip
that had a bunch of restaurants and bars, and we
had been out for not too long. But all I
(23:05):
remember is someone tapping me on the shoulder. And this
is twenty two years later, and I will never forget it. Said, hey,
they're a little lady. I turn around and it's our father.
I hadn't at this point spoken to him in many years,
and I just remember being in such shock. My boyfriend
(23:27):
at the time knew that we didn't speak, and I
remember him just saying, you need to respect her wishes.
And let her be and we wound up leaving, but
it was almost like he was tracking me.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Jeez, But I mean, you still reached out to him
years later. What made you do it?
Speaker 3 (23:47):
So? I just felt that I needed to come up
with my own conclusions about him now as an adult,
and it's definitely helped me heal in a lot of ways.
The outcome isn't what I had had hoped for, But
at the same time, I don't have any doubts about
whether or not the decision I made to distance myself
(24:11):
from him was valid.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I mean, that's why I'm doing this whole podcast. And
I know that I know we had our reasons for
not talking to him anymore when we were younger, But
what was the reason you stopped talking to him the
second time?
Speaker 3 (24:27):
So he had taken a trip to Israel and had
met up with a great uncle of ours who was
not doing well, and it was brought to my attention
from that side of the family that Manny had somehow
convinced him to hand off some valuable items family heirlooms
(24:52):
to him, and that was really the last that the
family saw those things, and that was the end of it.
He would call I didn't answer the phone, I didn't
respond to messages. I just avoided conversation with him.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
That's crazy, and I mean, I'm wondering does he live
in our house still?
Speaker 3 (25:18):
So I'm not sure where he is now, but I
can say that he's still He had the house when
I last spoke with him.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Do you have his phone number?
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I deleted his cell phone number, but the old house
phone was working when we last spoke.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Okay, so I know this won't come as a shock
or anything, but I have been seeing a therapist and
one of the things we talked about was reaching out
to you. But I have to say, like, after having
our conversation and seeing where you were coming from, it
is the exact reason why I'm doing this. It's I
(25:57):
understand more about the decisions that you made, and I
hope that I could get some of those answers that
you got by talking to him, and whether it was
closure or not that that happens. And I had to
say that, you know, I feel awful that so much
time has gone by of us not talking and I
would like us to reconnect and that this isn't just
the end of it.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
So too, I think one of the things that we
did really well as a family was brushing things under
the rug. And I think that one of the reasons
why I opened myself up to I don't even want
to call it a reconciliation with Manny, I want to
(26:40):
call it more of an experiment, was because I felt
it was the healthiest approach to healing and to kind
of getting those answers to some questions. Maybe things that
you couldn't put into words before in your younger years,
but things that I think you really need to properly
(27:02):
close the book on if you're going to truly get
past six.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Yeah, you know, I really I do appreciate you talking
to me, and I know it's been forever and we
never had a heart to heart, and I want to
see you soon. Yeah, I feel the same, all right,
they'll talk to you in six years. Reaching out to
Danny and having a serious conversation was totally out of
(27:26):
my comfort zone, but it was exactly what I needed.
I now see her reasons for talking to our father
again are the same as mine. To get answers and
to see if he's changed. I feel like I'm ready
to reach out to him. It is March ninth, twenty
(27:47):
twenty two and I Am Going to Call My house
phone Number one Dad is a production of Radio Point,
(28:22):
Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted
by Gary Veter. Executive producers are Gary Veeter, Adam Lowett,
Alex Bach, Daniel Powell, Huston Snyder, Kenneth Slotnik, and Brian Stern.
Written by Gary Veeter and Adam Lowett, Produced by Bernie Kaminsky.
Co producer is Taylor Kowalski, Edited and mixed by Ian
(28:44):
Sorrentino at Little Bear Audio. Recording engineer is kat Iosa.
Original music by Andrew Gross. Special thanks to Charlotte DeAnda
Jonathan carsh Is creative consultant. Executive producers for Big Money
Players Network and iHeart podcast are Will Farrell, Hansani and
Olivia Aguilar. Sound services were provided by Great City Posts.
Host
Gary Vider
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.