1Upsmanship: Favorite Video Game Companions

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Heh lohn Adam, if I were your companion in a

(00:27):
video game, what do you think my function or power
would be? And then I'll answer for you? And I
have not pretty thought of an answer. I just thought
of the question. Now, you score very high and wise cracks,
so I feel like it's very wheat step like you'd
be a Wheatly type figure. Right, you'd be a Wheatly
if it's my game. I'm the protagonist, sure, you know,

(00:50):
but not not the villain. Physical form is good for me.
I didn't think you'd mind. Yeah, I really felt like
you'd be okay, but not like I don't feel like
you'd be like a navy type figure who's like guiding
me everywhere. I feel like you're more giving input and
insight and opening a couple of doors and stuff, you know,
helping me out, keeping the journey fun. Um, well, you
you'd have glasses, so you could use the glasses. You

(01:12):
could burn stuff with this that's not insightful enough. That
doesn't do honor to our friendship, my lovely who. No,
of course you would be. I wasn't going to compare
you to a specific spanion. Got I'm well, if the
question I thought was just like function er. I think
in my life the purpose you've well, there's a lot

(01:34):
of things that I appreciate about you, but the one
that would get me through a video game would be like,
there would be many situations where it's not because I'm
playing Divinity to right now good and uh I will.
I like games with persuasion, and there's a few games
who break persuasion down even further right to like persuasion, intimidation, whatever.

(01:57):
I think, I would just call it like directing, meaning
I think there would be a lot of situations where
I would be too awkward to So if I'm a
video game character, it's gonna end in bloodshed. I'm just
gonna slaughter everyone because that's more comfortable for me than
trying to talk it out. But I'd be able to
send my companion Adam in to just like cut the
ship and say a few honest words, shake some hands,

(02:20):
and be like, oh, they're gonna move out of your way, dude,
you don't need to slaughter that all the ranged. I
got it all arranged, buddy. Yeah, That's what I appreciate
about how you interact with the world is that's very sweet.
Shooter gets shipped done. My god, I see that's actually
meant to be. But it was because I feel like
most people would assume the opposite, that I would be

(02:41):
the the hard charger slaughter. I'm all type guy. Uh so,
thank you. I think you've observed me well. I love
that role. Happy to open a door or two for you,
you know, happy to keep the violence at bay. Hey,
this is one upsmanship. I hope you're enjoying this so far,
because today on this that's the door to reveal the
logo one upsmanship. Sorry, no, I love that. That's how

(03:04):
that we should replace our song when that sound probably
why not chake it up? Why not? Anyway, I'm one
of your hosts, Adam Cancer and with me is uh
maybe the protagonist or maybe just a non playable, uh
but gorgeous companion. Introduce yourself, sir, I'm Michael Swimon. No,
it's an escort mission. I'm trying to die. I'm doing

(03:26):
dumb ship. Adam, You're going to have to keep me alive.
This hart gets back to our old formats drowning man.
You have five seconds, so God or you mean tail?
I need a lot of support tails on literally any
piece where you have to deal with tales anyway, bomb dropped. Uh. Yes,
So look today we decided because we were we we

(03:50):
realized that sometimes we need to do stuff that's not
just uh not just video game reviews. That this show
in court and compasses all kinds of video game conversations,
and one of them that we haven't done in quite
a long time is sort of ranking our favorite video
game characters, specifically our favorite companions. I thought that was

(04:14):
kind of a fun idea, and we apparently labored a
lot over it, from what Mike is telling me. Mike
telling me, we really labored. We have to work hard
in the opinion minds or beautiful ship heads. Um, yeah,
note that it's favorite, not best, although I think they're related,
like I will argue for their greatness. Of course, that's
why they're my favorite. But favorite admits subjectivity, which is

(04:38):
more fun anyway, because we get a more diverse list,
because if we went best, we said, there's a couple
who are like, well, probably that in the top three,
and that in the top three, and that runs out
your top three and you're like, yeah, but everyone knows
that that's like, don't forget to mention the Beatles. So
favorites more interesting. I agree. I also like having gun
back and re listened to our favorite Land's list. I'm

(05:01):
now happy how much those two lists that we made
diverge from any listical that you googled. And I think
that will happen again today. I at least I hope
so well. Adam hold onto that thought because I have
a challenging statement and throw down. I think my list
is going to and I again, I think I said

(05:22):
this before another episode, same caveat. I genuinely feel these
things you make everyone. I'm not doing this to troll
Adam or as a bit, but I think my list
will shock and disappoint you. I think you will think
I've gone insane. I sometimes think that's why you make lists,
but no it's not. That's why I want to verify

(05:44):
up front. As a caveat, I sit there as much
as I can and avoid being like favorite, what does
it mean favorite? And for this it means for so?
I think we need to define companion right. We talked
about um some basic like actual logistical definition that I
think are helpful. UM Like at once we were like
do they have to have had a health bar at

(06:04):
some point? Like do they have to be in danger,
and I think we decided ultimately that it was any
character that we're using more of the story definition, right,
any character that serves as a companion for your protagon anytime, anybody, however,
that's game a fight out, anybody that's on the journey
with you in some meaningful way. I think is that

(06:26):
that's how LuSE I got with it. And we can
argue if we feel like someone's gone out of bounds.
But you know, everything in this life is ultimately if
you look closer and closer, you can unpack it further.
So I'm sure the line is different for everyone. But
I basically went off really letting myself roll into that
word favorite, letting myself be nostalgic, because I usually try

(06:47):
to be an objective reviewer and actually gauge if I
could on a chart, the Companions I was most emotionally
invested in, regardless of how good or bad I think
the game is. Does that make sense? I'm true really
rating the Companions I I was really strict with myself
about I have to have loved this game and cared

(07:08):
about this character. It can't be like I I restricted
the objectivity part of me well, I don't have to
love the game, well not the game. I could love
just the companion character and saying other aspects of the
game can blow. And for me, it's like I had
to have genuinely liked this person when I played it.
It can't be like, oh yeah, in hindsight, I see
how this was a great companion, you know what I mean, Like,

(07:29):
like I I forced myself to do that, uh for
the same reason. So I mean, without further ado, should
we just hop into it? What do you think? I
have a little further decate, which is to ask, do
you think because I'm sorry companions turned out also side
note to be so much richer of an area than
I even thought it would be. Yeah, um, I need

(07:53):
to at some point throwing a bug of onnable mentions
and maybe a tag or two about why they're in there.
Do you want to do that first, so we're sort
of starting at the bottom of the hill, or do
you want to do that at the I want to
do it throughout because I feel like there are times where, uh,
like they would marry they would marry it mentioning because

(08:14):
they're in this bucket, you know what I mean, Like
like That's how I feel like. There's a few little
buckets that that are sort of being covered here, and
I'm going to mention different honorable mentions that are like that,
but this was my favorite of the that type. Does
that work for you? Understood? It works for me? Can
we compromise on a middle path? The centers we discussed

(08:36):
always the best centrism, always the best, always good, can't
hurt anyone centrism. We're seeing that now, America. Uh there.
I have a bunch of a big bucket of honorable
mentions that are not ranked, but I do have a
number eleven, twelve, and thirteen, and I'd like to just
do a little spiel on them. Now that won't take

(08:56):
very ar okay, because the showman in me knows that
this will make for an interesting arc of the episode.
So great, then let's we'll just we're gonna pinch you
off a little bit and then we'll get to the
main course. Um. If I were to have a number thirteen,
it would be Bat from Titan Fall two. Um oh name,

(09:19):
super super well realized buddy robot character that's so endearing,
way more than whatever the New Star Wars would be
B eight hit or whatever, like BT is my favorite.
I thought about the Cotur guy HK forty seven, but
BT is really awesome. Um. Number twelve would be Clementine
from The Walking Dead Season one is too big to

(09:41):
because she's truly a companion because she's kind of Maine. Um,
but a companion in the sense that Lee is the
adult you inhabit most of the time, and I don't
know he's caring for her. I don't, but that's why
she got she can't bounce down because I was like, okay.
And then number eleven for me, uh, is Elizabeth from
BioShock in Wow, didn't take the list, didn't make the list.

(10:04):
That's what I wanted to set up the Steaks stories
for me. We talked when we were first conceptualized this episode.
We're like, well, unfortunately Elizabeth from BioShock would of course
shoot to the top because uh, and I think these
are things that well, is she on your list? Can
I spoil that? I think my tone suggested that it
has already been spoiled. Then then then we'll talk about

(10:25):
why she's important then. But I thought that you would
be that's stingly intrigued to hear that she's my eleven
so I've got ten people. That's Elizabeth from bioshockh I
I want to throw one or two quick ones out
that it would say BT. I also just wanted to
mention BT shouldn't have been good the idea of BT

(10:46):
when I heard about it after having played Titan Fall one.
This is a dumb decision, guys, But you know what,
I was wrong, It was really good. Um. I wanted
to mention more than Sullis from mass Effect two and three,
who it's just one of the people, but I he
was the Silary right, Cilaris, are right? Did I mess
up the name of this? I say Solaria, but there's

(11:07):
no evidence either way. I'm sure they say it out loud.
The Silari scientist who uh spoilers uh is pivotal in
managing the Jena phage and mass Efect three. And I
think he just has a really cool arc and I
really cared about it, and I liked that he seemed
to be one type of character, and then you know,

(11:28):
he sort of revealed, oh no, there's a lot of
depth to him actually, um So I really appreciated that.
And finally, just because there wasn't enough time playing with
this character, Jackie from Cyberpunk. I really liked Jackie. I
thought that that character had a lot of potential, but unfortunately,
as I always want to shout this out because I

(11:49):
think it's one of our major achievements on this podcast.
If you listen to one of our Cyberpunk episodes, I
believe we fixed the entire plot of Cyberpunk, Yes, which
is that Jackie should have survived as well been your companion,
and the stakes should have been that the chip is
in him and he's dying and you're talking to Johnny
through him, and you're worried about your friend going away
because you had so much more invested in him than

(12:10):
in yourself who has a cipher. Yeah, yes, I love Yeah.
Jackie was really cool, a good character, you know, gone
too soon? Um? Alright, well I think we should probably
Having set it all up, do you want to take
a do our first two and then we'll hit the break?
What you think? Oh? Yeah, so number ten? In which
way do you want to serpent to start? Tend met

(12:31):
and used tend me? Okay? Um, and now with all
the time we killed, I'm gonna be fairly succinct, but
especially I don't know, it's ten right enough? What is
what is it going to get? The two treatment? Come on?
So my number ten is sometimes named Pedro, sometimes referred
to as just the Banana or the sentient Banana from

(12:52):
the game My Friend Pedro. Wow, okay, starting left field
for me. I've never played that game. Have you heard
of it? I've never played it. Tell me about it.
It's a Devolver, Yeah, it's a Devolver Digital game. I mean,
this can just be a straight up excuse to pitch
the game. I think more people should play it. The
basic gameplay element is you are a guy who wakes

(13:12):
up with no memory, with a sentient banana with a
smiley face that basically talks to you and tells you
what your life is like and what it used to be,
and what you need to do next and what your
personality is like. And you're suspicious the whole time of
this banana, which is why it's it's kind of a
weakly situation, honestly, yeah, because it's telling you to murder

(13:33):
all these people. And the gameplay, which is pretty phenomenally fun,
is sort of a John Wick like but a unique
one where I haven't seen this exact style of gameplay before,
where you control both your gun arms individually, and you
can sort of slow time and use the environment to
your advantage, so you'll end up just doing sick ship

(13:54):
like um diving in slow mo through glass shooting for
five guys and then like kicking a skateboard at a
dude any trips and you go and kill him with
mealy or whatever. You can set up these awesome combos
and that's sort of what it's all about and designed
to do and bounce off the walls and stuff, and
it's really really fun and gruesome and has like a

(14:15):
twisted sort of adult swim esque a sense of humor
and plotting that I enjoy. And I think the Banana
is very likable and sardonic and um a key keynote
for me as I realized I actually liked And I
don't know how you could listen to this podcast much
without getting this impression from me. But I'm the big
story head. Um games can be pure toys, they don't

(14:38):
have to be story at all. But Michael favorite story games,
and so I favored companions who actually are fundamental to
some turn of the So like n he is not right,
Yoshi is not but he's awesome. Um so one thing
I like about the Banana from my friend Pedro is
that he's pivotal to the final twist in the story,
which I guess it won't reveal because it's such an

(14:59):
underplay game. Yeah, I don't think you should, so, yeah
that makes sense. I also have quite a few. I
realized that we're narrative purposes. Yeah, that that ended up
being almost more important. And functionality, though not always my
my my list hard. It's hard for gameplay mechanics but not.
That's an interesting discussion to make you invest in a character,

(15:22):
the traditional tool that we use to invest in characters.
This story right, so easy. Yes, I have a few
though that are for function Uh, that's awesome. I can't
wait my tenth one. This one is going to seem
like I'm making a troll list. I swear to god
I'm not. But this one I I thought a lot
about it. Uh, welcome. I wanted to mention that's number ten.

(15:44):
The dinkel Butt from Destiny, specifically the first draft of Ghosts. Yes,
but not the Redond Ghost ghost as voiced by Peter Dinklich.
But developers out there make a character called but they
had to, So that's how that's how some people talk
about him on the internet. So he was famously replaced.

(16:07):
He was famously replaced, um. I think probably because they
couldn't get him to sign on. I don't think it's
because of the criticisms there was and ship he can't
go forever, That's right. They had to replace even Cade
six for the same reason. Uh I. But people like
complained about the delivery and stuff of like his performance,
and I really really believe they nailed it with who that,

(16:30):
like he was more of a character than Ghost became afterward.
And I'm not disparaging Norlan North at all, but I
think that Peter Dinklidge brought a sort of like an
even kind of sad feeling to the Ghost character, which
really made the world seem more less adventuring and more
like Star trek Um and just sort of added a

(16:51):
sense of like this is like a Lord of the
Rings situation where there's a lot of history that you
have to kind of catch up with. And they kind
of abandoned that. Um Like in every in every facet
of that game, they abandoned it. And I feel like
they actually were in the mata like the cards online stuff, right,
it felt very much like, no, no, this is a
huge world that you're getting into, Like, yeah, you only
get to play these areas, but like, there's so much

(17:13):
more here, and I feel like Peter Dinkls version of
that character brought that out more Like certainly there was
some wooden performances, but also he's a robot, and I
thought that was I thought it made sense. Um so
I'm sure some people were like what I really thought
he was? He nailed it. He actually drew me into
destiny and it is one of the reasons why I
got excited about the game. And then of course it

(17:34):
changed into I think more of an action adventure game
that I also like. But r I p to the
Dinkel bot. I I thought, uh, I thought that was
a really well performed and thought out character that they
ended up pivoting in the wrong direction. Uh so that's
my number ten, shall I? Well, just because it's so

(17:55):
do you disagree core to yours? No? No, no, just
because it's so core to yorks experience of that loop.
And I do enjoyed that game, even though we've argued
heatedly because I have diminishing returns in some aspects of it.
All that is to say asterisk. I had Ghosts generally
as one of my honorables. Okay, additional ups, but I

(18:15):
didn't want to have to mention it's surprising to me.
But but cool Ghost is great. Ghost two, he's You're
nothing in that game. Ghost is you? Or like Ghost
is the character? That's right, Ghost is the character. You're
totally right, and I feel like your armor. I see.
I kind of like the idea that Ghost isn't the character,
and I think I get why they pivoted to it.

(18:36):
But I but the Dinklage version of it that was
not true anyhow. So I guess I'll hit my number
nine next, right, my number nine, because we're sneaking around here.
Uh is I know you're gonna love this, Mike. It
is uh Nick Valentine from Fallout four, the synth from

(18:58):
Fallout four, And I'll tell you. I'll tell you why. Um.
First of all, I needed a fall Out companion because
I feel like that game, especially the fourth one, you
do really need to carefully pick your companion, and you
need a companion just to manage the looter aspect of
that game. And Nick brings uh some pathos to the

(19:20):
the sort of this big you know, fried Out Landscape,
and he also brings kind of a fun aspect that Fallout,
for in hindsight, is kind of missing compared to the
other ones, like Fallow four is not fun in the
way that Fallout wacky waste land as right. And Nick
Valentine colors it all with his like occasional you know,

(19:42):
sort of jaded, private dick commentary and it's awesome. And also,
people know I love noir stuff, so like it it.
You know, that was an easy self for me. But
I really think he brings a lot of emotional, uh
emotional interest to everything that you're perceiving. And also his
story is kind of uh fun and sad and engaging,

(20:05):
and most of the characters I didn't think did Um. Now,
I will say that I had dog Meat as an
honorable mention because I had to choose between them. I felt, Um,
I know, most people will pick dog Meat because you know,
it's the dog, and he's very he's cute and a
great combat you know, he's good in combat and stuff.
But for me, I just I thought that Nick Valentine

(20:25):
brought that game to the level of uh fun that
we're expecting from Fallout. Um, what about you? The voice
actor doesn't shy away from and leans into like it
is a classic private like they don't even modernize it
at all. He's just Dick Tracy good pretty well. Well,

(20:46):
it has a lot of character, as you said, compared
to all the other companions, and Fallout for kind of
forgettable to me, not all to completely. I don't know.
Palettin Dance is notable in that he sounds like George Clooney.
But Piper, A lot of people talk about Piper. Yeah,
Pipe is all right, um, but I don't know. I've
I feel like, uh yeah. And four and this is

(21:07):
not a memorandum on the series, but I'm the big
fallout guy on the team, so I'll just say four
also is is good but not the best fallout by far.
But of all the companions available, and for man, you
can't beat Nick, I don't think. He also points directly
at the core conflict of that particular installed. So I
was about to say, and he embodies what the thematic

(21:28):
moral centerpiece of that one is because he's a synth
that has humanlike qualities. Should he have rights? What great
good stuff? He's key, he's clutch. And then I'll throw
into the honorable mention has been this makes sense how
we're doing this now, I get it. Um. I I
put just on one line item all the dogs from
all the Fallout because it's easy to invest in a dog.

(21:52):
But I think it's so easy that I kind of
I'm like, yeah, of course you like the dogs. So
like Rex from Fallout New Vegas, I'm super Intocaine nine,
the dog with the robot bras some cybernetic cards. Um.
And then of course dog meat dog is actually from
Fallout one. So I just want to point that out
as a smug fall Fallout originalist, that dog Meat dates

(22:13):
all the way back to fall Out one and is
an incredible companion over three episodes of fall I mean,
dog Meat is a very effective companion because you get upset.
You get upset when the dog gets hurt. Oh and
when he gets when he gets hitting, whimpers, You're like,
I hate that, get upset. So in that way it
does work. And I see, I see white people get attached,

(22:34):
but dog meat doesn't have a lot of personality. Anyway,
that was my calculus, what's your number nine remembories? And
then I think that's really interesting Towards the end of
my life. Yeah, it's hard to invest in dog with personality, right, Um,
in life almost not. I mean, I love my dog.

(22:54):
Dogs have personalities when you get to know them, but
it's hard to translate that to a game. He's like,
um okay, number nine unknown or unnamed. I have a
fetish for characters that are not easily identified um or
or maybe his name is Transistor but the Sentient Sword
from the game Transistor. Have you played? Wow, this is

(23:15):
gonna be a list phenomenal game, probably my favorite of
the vibes of their games. But it's the team who
did uh Bastion most noted day And then I'm blanking sorry,
I forget did they do Pire? I think they did.
I definitely played Bastion. You and I talked about that
offline once. It's called super Giant Games. That's right, Um,

(23:40):
you're looking it up, haighties haities. Of course. I'm like,
they did the biggest banger of all time most recently hadies,
so most people would know them from Hades. But I
really love the vibe of Transistor. Hades has better gameplay,
that's true, but Transistor has awesome gameplay where you basically
are this woman named Red who fights with a sentient

(24:02):
sword named Transistor that has the spirit of someone you
once knew, potentially loved locked inside it. And I find
the writing really genuinely, like darkly romantic. I ate for
this relationship. I thought it was an amazing doomed love
story as you're using the sword and using RPG elements

(24:23):
to unlock the swords amazing powers and dispatch all kinds
of enemies, and like if you played Bastion and Hades,
you know, super Giant knows how to do um third person.
You're walking around slashing and hacking stuff and you do
a bunch of coold combos and Transistor has that in spades,
And I mean, I guess it doesn't matter because we're
not actually talking about the quality of the game, but

(24:44):
I find read very compelling and because Transistor is like
your sword boyfriend, I found it and people who have
played Hades, no, super Giant is great at evocative relationships. Umy,
Hades doesn't really feature a companion character, or they might
be here in instead, but so far, I think Super
Giant's best companion character is the sword from Transistor. I was, really,

(25:07):
what is it about the sword? Like, what could you
give us some sense of uhh um. Obviously you're excited
because it's as it powers up, the sword is more
and more helpful. It is your weapons. So the companion
is directly the tool that you you know, that makes
it kind of have an auspice to it. But also

(25:28):
as a character, Um, it's kind of a benevolent almost
a therapeutic voice or the or an SMR voice or
like the evil how from two thousand one. But if
it was benevolent, like the voice actor is very calm,
but he's also not funny to be funny. It looks
like that didn't go very well. Maybe we better blah

(25:50):
blah blah, a little bit of that vibe. Um in
terms of the Rye observation teammates. But something I think
you see in Haities that super Giant has and is
Empire as well, is also, um, they're not afraid to
be embarrassingly vulnerable or actually go for like romance or
emotion in the way that shows do, but games rarely do. So.

(26:13):
I mean, he he makes Rye observations, but Stanley parable
never says anything like and stay safe, I love you,
you know, like that ship is in transistor and I like,
like like a real companion like spending your life. Yeah,
he's Red's companion. That's great in multidimensions. Well, you and

(26:33):
I need to take a break, and uh, I think
we our love to each other. Uh, you know, offline,
of course. Uh. And when we come back, we'll be
all loved up and ready to contact. Eighteen minutes, which
is how long that takes. See you now, I'm tired

(26:54):
from saying my mouth throat is right right, because we
got to pick up the pace we have Terry in
this act too. Let's bust through some of these. I
believe my turn with number eight. Um, and there's I'm
in a reverse order it this way. I bet some

(27:16):
people can guess, especially if they're long time listeners. I
don't have to say too much about this guy. You know.
There's a long, long history of wacky, little obnoxious sidekicks
that follow you around it or with you and make
wise cracks one liners with a high nasal voice. Um.
But all of all of them, this is the one
that annoys me the least, and in fact is my favorite.

(27:38):
And I think you'd expect some kind of special quality
from Naughty Dog, the team behind Last of Us, But
this is their platforming franchise Jack and Daxter, And I'm
talking about Daxter the space weasel from Jack and Daxter
when I just like get it. But he's like an
rcle or I don't know what to say about him. Yeah,
he's funny. I like him well. And there's so many

(27:59):
characters that fit into that zone. Like again he feels
that Wheatley Phil falls into that zone. Um, I would say,
clap trap, clap trap who did not make my list?
F y I um. Also, Potato GLaDOS was an honorable
mention for me that I think fits that zone. Ueah,

(28:19):
So anyway, those are all honorable mentions for me, just
mentioning that now. Um okay, So just because I wanna,
I don't want to elevate this particular companion too high.
But my number eight I hope you're hope you're ready
for this, and I hope you're ready to get mad
is Torrent the horse from elden Ring. The horse from

(28:43):
elden Ring Torrent. And I'll tell you why. Yes, I
know you're about to say that's not a character, Adam.
I'm not. I'm not. It's beyond saying stuff about you.
Just do okay, thank you. I I intend to have
so much fun. And that is in fact why I
picked Horrent. Because Torrent is the best horse in any
game ever, the best come at apent I mean yeah,

(29:09):
honestly I thought about, Okay, is it opponent or Torrent?
I picked Torrent because just just for ease of use,
as simple as that you can summon Torrent at any
point in time. The double jump is great. Uh, it's
a really effective way to get across a landscape you
don't have a map for. And of course, uh, Torrent
is sort of mouthed by like other figures who are

(29:30):
telling you what Torrents choice means. So like Torrent is
a character, like do you get emotional connection? No? But
I think that part of a companion thing in a
video game is do they enhance the experience? And there
is absolutely no doubt that elden Ring is a much
much better game, the best game in the from Soft

(29:50):
you know, uh sweet of games because it's not out Yeah,
I feel like you're any motherfucker can jump up wind
tunnels and ship. Uh. He's super fun to control. I
agree with that. He's the most easily summable and unsummonable.
I love that unlike every other horse games. There's no

(30:11):
need for a don't forget. You gotta put your foot
in the thing and get up the horse. You're just
you're just on tour and you go. It's really fun. Um.
I think it's totally in bounds. I just think you're
voting for the game more than the voting for the company.
You're not wrong. I'm voting for the companion because I
think the choices they made about the mount here are

(30:35):
choices are of any mount in any game, and we
have mounts in a lot of games, you know, and
I really think this is the best one, better than Yoshi. Uh,
don't spoil my list, sir, because now we're talking about
emotional value, sir, Yoshi is a far more well. No,
I don't think when you talk about Yoshi, okay, okay,
but I think that's akin to talking about mount philosophy

(30:57):
and being like are we going to talk about Aristotle?
Are and talking about Plato? Like, Yo, she invented the
concept of you can get a second thing and beyond
it and control it or jump off it. At work.
She may still appear on this list spoilers, so that's yeah, yeah, well, yo,
she's in my honorable mention so well, yo, she ranks

(31:19):
for me. Now we get thank you, Yes, we will
get my seven, um my seven. And this one, uh,
this is going to be a strange one. But I
felt it was important to pick something from Final Fantasy.
Uh in part because if I when I think of companions,
Final Fantasy is you're the brand ambassador of kind. And
I feel like Final Fantasy to capture that the most uh,

(31:42):
the most prevalent franchise with this idea of companions that
you can play and you know, uh deal with and everything.
And I had to pick a fan like the version
of the franchise that I connected to the most, which
I'm sorry to tell you fans was a really old one.
Um Final Fantasy Too. That's the game when I played
I was a kid, and it was my favorite of
the Final Fantasies and remains my favorite, not because it's

(32:05):
the best, but because it's the one that I emotionally
connected to. And so I picked a companion from Final
Fantasy Too. I think it's also for the number gets
messed up here, but it's the one with Cecil and
the companion is Kane the Dragoon. Uh. Why came the dragoon?
Two reasons. One, there's a lot of riffing on the

(32:27):
sort of fiscal responsibility because I like this podcast to
continue now I'm just kidding. Because Kane represents a story
of betrayal and forgiveness, and I think that's a cool
theme in general. I I feel very connected to that theme.
And Kane betrays the group and for a long time

(32:47):
is not a playable character. In fact, you have to
fight him, and then he sort of works his way
back in and finds forgiveness with the group, which I
think is kind of fun. Um, He's got a sort
of thing with his dad, which is a theme and
a lot of final fantasies, but especially that one, there's
a lot of like, you know, dealing with your dad,

(33:08):
being disappointed, trying to follow your dad's footsteps. Cecil's dad
is is the villain for a long portions of that game. Um.
And also he has a cool attack where he leaps
off screen and he's gone for an entire turn. Because
this is back when these games were JRPG turn based,
and so like a lot of times when you would
be fighting some big boss and they would do a
damage to all of your all of your crew. Kane

(33:31):
wouldn't get damaged, and so he because he'd be up
in the air so therefore undamageable, and then he'd come
down and do his hit. And I can't tell you
the number of times that Kane ended up being the
character that revived everybody else and therefore saved my turn. Um.
And therefore you associate him with Domina. He was just
because he's a different dynamic that ends up saving your

(33:53):
ass a lot. And uh, at the end of that
game spoilers, but hey, you had forty years, so this
is on you or thirty or whatever. At the end
of that game, he's the only one that doesn't join
the group in celebration. He goes off and sort of
lives alone from a distance and like wants to find
some way to redeem himself. Still like he's a sort
of a self punishing character and that connected for me

(34:15):
when I was a kid. Um. And the last thing
is he is in love with the love interest of
the game, who the protagonist, Cecil. He's also, of course
in love with the love interest, but Kane is basically
not allowed to put his feelings out there, and that's
an interesting dynamic between them, um. And that's a lot
of complexity. I think for a little eight bita you know, um,

(34:38):
and I remember it after all these years, I did
not look it up. I was like, I remembered all that,
so UM. I picked Kane for from Final Fantasy as
one of my favorites. Well, sir, my eight bit honorable
mentioned shout out is Nala, the flying pink dragon baby
from the Lunar Game on second seating. Um, she was

(34:59):
cute and nine, but my actual it means me seven now, okay,
me seven? Mimi, get ready. It's been underwhelming how well
we're getting along. I'm like, can this one ruin? This? Man?
I can kiss you off? This one will ruin the episode? Um,
I'm going with Bebe from Death Stranding And if people

(35:23):
aren't familiar, that is the baby my god, Okay, go ahead,
all right, that's the baby named by that stands for
something baby Bridge baby. I think, Um, damn, I had
to play it again. I'm rusty on the lore. I
know that Adam and I disagree deeply about this, and
I don't mind people who do disagree. I'm super not

(35:44):
as into like the metal gear lore. I find ultimately
cheesy and layered to a point of ridiculousness where it
feels like power Rangers E to me. I love the
death stranding universe and vibe and the rules of it
and how they have to cry when they are exposed
to the and they eat the little pink nubbins. I
love it. I just think it's a very fresh, evocative apocalypse,

(36:08):
the oil lions with the gold faces. Anyway, babe, is
this bridge baby that? Um? It reminds me of when
I was in junior high and they gave us And
this is true, I'm sure they don't do this anymore,
so listen up, younger generation. There's no way they could
still do this. But it was called don't It was
called don't have a baby baby, And there was a
program where they gave us mechanical babies that you had

(36:30):
to rock, and they had sensors in them, so if
you dropped them, your teacher would know they, oh, you
killed your baby. Um. So junior high, I had to
like care for a baby would cry every few hours.
You'd have to turn a key and it's back to
simulate rocking it to sleep, and it had little data
collectors inside. Your teacher would be like, that's why you
shouldn't have a baby that's yeah, high school kid's not boned.

(36:52):
It was like, don't have sex or this will happen
to you. And and you know, you could compare it
to a Tomaganchi or whatever bit, so BB is sort
of that gamified. You constantly have to care for BB.
The game is there's a lot of hide and secre
We're hiding from these invisible monsters and they can upset

(37:13):
b B and if BB cries, obviously that's not good
for hide and seek. So you have to tend for it.
And I think the actual act of nurturing something, of course,
forces you to invest some thought into it. And here's
my main point. We're talking about emotional investment on this list,
and it doesn't matter if it's cheap, like I will
say this is cheap. But BB is a very realistically rendered,

(37:33):
evocative human baby. I'm hardwired evolutionarily to care about that.
So it is like that was enough for it to
claud its way up to seven on my list. I
like the game, I like the world. I like that
BB does turn out to be pivotal, pivotal to the
resolution of death trainings plot. But at the same time,
I'm like, you gotta hand it to him for like

(37:55):
you were talking about how you don't like when dog
me gets hit because of the sound. How soothing is
it to rock baby by physically rocking your controller and
he like giggles and smiles at you and little heart
bubbles come out of his mouth. Like I don't know.
I found that very relaxing and it felt like everything
was okay because baby was ok That's the only good

(38:15):
argument that I can imagine for this inclusion, and it
did convince you that it's a human. What are you
gonna is one of my favorite, one of my favorite
exchanges in all of k is uh when Cotton says,
of Hank, everyone hated that baby, and Jimmy Carter says,
hated a baby, hate a baby. But your argument is,

(38:36):
you're right, that's a new, unique engagement to put into
a video game, and it is effective for making you care.
So I got it. I got that. I have to
handle that too. Not that unique because we have had
pet rocks and tomagotchis, but like it's an evolution of
that idea. Yeah, that's right. Um, yeah, you're right, all right.
And now number six, which may shock you, may not.

(38:56):
I don't know. The way the list is gone, you'll
probably get it. But my number six is Ellie from
the Last of Us, and I feel like that's almost
too low to do justice to really the ending of
that game, the last act of that game, from the
point where UM and I will I want to talk
about a few spoilers for the Last of Us Part

(39:17):
one now, So if you're just playing the remake now,
probably skip ahead, because it's one of the most notable
stories in all of video games. Um, But from the
point where Joel very suddenly falls on that rebar off
that balcony and it's winter now and it's all on
Ellie to the point where he lies to Ellie's face,
and that's and you realize, oh, the game's gonna end

(39:38):
on that note. Um, obviously one of the most powerful
storytelling experiences. Ranks with the best films I've seen and
even some of the best books I've read, uh, which
is incredible for gaming. But also yeah, so you counterbalance
that against so Ellie as a character almost invaluable to me,
what a legendary deo game character, And then you counterbalance

(40:02):
that against my issues with her as far as making
this list, Hey, I like to expose people to stuff
they don't already know. So it is a little like
nominating the radiohead or whatever, uh great thing, putting a
great thing on the list. You're right about, right, That's
That's what I'm saying, is they're actively great. Everyone knows
that it's less interesting that way. Um, I don't know

(40:25):
that I liked her, liked her as a companion. She
kind of just takes care of herself. She's sort of
just meanders around. Um so it comes down to like
their diet. Her dialogue with Joel as you play is
very good. And then Adam and I had a brief
discussion because of course, when it's winter and Joel is injured,
you play as her for quite a length of time.
And in my so my compromise with myself was, well,

(40:45):
it doesn't invalidate her from the list, but surely she
can't be number one because she's not the textbook ideal
of what I mean by video game companion. She's almost
a dual character with Joel, especially given that she helms
the sequel. And you know that. Um so, yeah, she
landed its less than I'm done, because what are you
gonna say about Ellie? Listen to our last of Us episodes,
that's number six. What numbers am I on? Six? And five?

(41:08):
Is that where I am? You're six? Uh? My number
six is a little known character named Ellie from the
Last of Us. Yeah, okay, but what's your logic for
arriving at that? Because you play as her as a
main character for pieces of the game and also for
the sequel, I think that's an argument against her being

(41:31):
the best companion because she's not just that she's a
companion but then becomes the protagonist over time. That was
why she couldn't be number one for me. Um. I Also,
I think you said it perfectly. She doesn't do much
for you. She's really more you're sort of like carrying
a story, a story unit around, you know, like story goblin.

(41:51):
She's a story goblin. Uh. And it's great, you know,
nobody's ever done it better than her. I think for
for emotional impact, I don't. I can't think of anybody
that would surpass her. Um. But and I agree with you,
But yeah, because you play as her, didn't seem like
she should be number one because that seems like cheating. Uh.
So that's where I landed. So my number five is

(42:14):
one that I know will thrill Michael. Uh, and that
is Cortana from Halo from that's not only thrilled me,
but fill me with two messens and glowing light simultaneously. Um.
Quartana to me, like Cortana is what Navvy naughty and

(42:34):
like all the all those kind of companions are supposed
to be. Like, I feel like Cortona is the perfect
version of like the know it all I'm gonna use
this word, like the sort of sprightly companion. And there's
like there's more of those than you'd think in video games. Um.
She also is the character that humanizes master Chief and

(42:55):
makes him into a character. And I know that that's
a point of contention between Mike and I, but I
think that Cortana makes him a character and he would
not be one at all without her. Um. I think
I actually have a lot of really interesting theories about
that we don't have time to go into. But I
think that lineage of the sprightly character dates all the

(43:16):
way back to like actual folks are like Willow, the
wisps and specters, and I think it often has a
feminine energy because it's a safe way for masculine franchises
to explore the feminine side of the character. So Master
Chief is all balls, right, so his feminine thoughts are
quartan instead, she's outside him, and which is why it's
interesting the trajectory that the franchise has taken with her,

(43:39):
uh and made her into sort of the big bed
of you know, uh of Halo, and then you know,
and then a bunch of stuff happened with Halo Infinite.
We don't need to get into all that. You can
listen to that episode we talked about that. Um. I
think that Cortona Uh, it's just like pure utility and
pure pathos and distilled perfectly. There's a lot of rate

(44:00):
cut scenes with her. Uh. She makes the game more fun.
And there's a bunch of other companions in Halo to
be clear, Like there's soldiers all the time, right, and
there's that great drill sergeant character. Um. But without her,
it's not Halo, you know. Um. And again, Halo it's
probably the first person shooter that made me fall in
love with first person shooters. Uh, so I have sort

(44:22):
of a bias for it. And uh, that's it. I mean,
you know, Corton is pretty good at that that trope,
and so she belongs on the list, I think it's
your turn. Honorable mention for me first first person shooter.
I fell in love with Marathon on the Macintosh. That's interesting.
By the way, I have, I have one honorable mention
here that fits because it's a different it's kind of

(44:45):
a it's like the opposite of this, and that is
the Joker from Markham City as an honorable mention for me. Uh.
The Joker is the antagonist of Arkham Asylum and Arkham
uh City, but in Sorry so goth it's Arkham Knight.
That's the one that it's in Arkham Knights, but then
used as a companion in that one because he's dead

(45:05):
and it's awesome. It's so good, and he the narrative
in the same way that I think Cortona does UH,
Like he's sort of an evil Wheatly before Wheatly goes
evil if you will uh, and it's really good. I
just felt like there was too much of that on
my list, So that's why he's honorable mentions as far
as I am where he was the first use of
a highly innovative thing that is now used in all

(45:28):
horror games. Maybe PT. We just played PT on the
monthly stream and it had some of this, But whoever
invented the idea of you turned the camera around and
suddenly something has spawned that was not there just seconds
ago and it's triggered by when the camera moves away
and back. Brilliant And he's used very well with the
Joker popping into the list when you were like, I

(45:49):
was just looking there and now the Jokers there anyway.
Um My honorable mention that fits in this segment is
another story goblin who I like, Mamir from God of War.
I don't think he made the list because of recency bias,
but I do love him as a story goblin, the
disembodied head. And I love the fact that he literally
dispenses uh stories because I actually think it's fitting. If

(46:10):
you're gonna meander, let's be honest uselessly around a half
open worlds like God of War makes you do, a
good use of that time is to hear little fables
and asops, folk tales and ship I like to think
that's a pretty decent to fully appreciate the world they built, Like,
I think it's a really start decision they're teaching you,

(46:32):
Viking Laura, in case you didn't take that in school
or need we do? We do need to be caught
up for the most part, and I really hope he's
back in the sequel, which is coming out in less
than a week from when we record this. So um, alright,
my number five, right, that's where we are. Yeah, because
I did ali um my number five. Look out it's
an extended flashback sweet nick okay, um obvious uh fallout forward,

(47:01):
not fall out that would be two and New Vegas
always vibe for that spot. But of all the companions
in the entire franchise, the most appealing and memorable to me.
I also love now Are. I also love robots. I
also love robots who are like kind hearted, and he's

(47:21):
one of the most reliably nice of the companions in
that game. Um, he's not a haunted, broken alcoholic now
Are detective. He's a classic Maltese falcon bogart noar detective
who like has his ship together and is fighting for good. Um,
despite being haunted by some sadness. That's just right up
my alley. I just think he's the best outsider, but

(47:44):
not because he's a scumbag, but because he's an outsider,
which is another of those Raymonds like those Chandler esque tropes,
you know, but I'll use that as an opportunity to
make up time in the air and hop to number four. Um,
and this dude, I'll be honest, started as number one
with a bullet like when I sat down to brainstorm
this list, can we actually in real life beat any

(48:10):
sum of money five dollars so you can see that,
I writ so this is what will be way wait
before I look or you put it? Um, you, and
if you're right, I only win if you've never even
heard of this character, because that's okay, Well then I'm
probably not right. That's okay. I'll give you five dollars. Boom.

(48:33):
I'll get that later. My number four is Buddy, the
alien from Another World also called Out of This World
and the sequel Heart of the Alright, well, he was
number one for me in terms of played it like.
He benefits tremendously from being played at the proper time

(48:54):
when I was a child receptive to like this is
my nostalgia pic. And because of that, when I thought
companions I actually care about, Buddy came to mind first
and and was number one until I started saying, like,
let's calm down and be objective about this. There have
been developments since this point in gaming, and you know,
and he fell a couple of slots. But let me

(49:14):
tell you about Buddy, and let me tell you about
Out of This World and Hard of Alien. There's these
great games. There's a third one made by the same
developer called Flashback that people may have played more of.
They are retch, I mean, they're older games. They're done
in a very unique art style that's kind of a
simplified cell shaded to d rhodoscoping. Very hard to describe,

(49:37):
but I highly recommend you look up the trailer for
Out of This World, Flashback or Heart of the Alien
and you will see a like immediately. One thing unique
about it is no other game has ever looked like
them before or since. No one's really tried to recreate
this look. It's unique to this developer. I don't actually
know how they achieved it. It's a very cool look
um that I think, because it's not trying to look realistic,

(49:58):
stands up to the test that's time. It still looks
cool to me. Um, and it has very fluid animations
blah blah blah. As such, I feel like you can
get invested in the characters very easily. Uh. It's a
very evocative game, especially for the time where you're a
dude who's transported to an alien planet, and this alien
planets in the midst of like a civil war with

(50:20):
one side almost completely on the brink of destruction, and
you meet an alien who you never find the real
name of, but you refer to as Buddy because he's
your buddy, right, he's your only friendly face in this world,
and over the course of the game, at first he
seems like almost a tutorial helping you get along, but
over the course of the game you realize and this

(50:41):
is really truly is I research because I wanted to
be right about this one of the very earliest games
where this is the case. He begins to intertwine with
you to the point where like you have to jump
from a cliff, trusting him to grab you and then
help him climb up, or he'll he'll manage the shields,
will you shoot through the shields at the guys, or

(51:02):
you both get trapped in a cage together suspended by
a chain, and the way to escape is for you
to run back and forth together to get enough inertia
to snap the chain. Like he became part of the
game and you actually interacted with him. Old had at
this point amazing at the time. And then the sequel
Heart of the Alien hit where you play as Buddy
and like find out all this horrible shit about his

(51:24):
family getting slaughtered in this alien civil war, and he
became such a deep and important character to me that
when I play that initial one, it's just like the
Lley thing right, Um the second The fact that he
becomes a protagonist, a playable protagonist in the second one
makes the first one all the richer for me. I
recommend Out of This World. It's extremely difficult in the
way that old old games are. UM, So maybe just

(51:47):
watch a play through if you're actually interested. Um, But
if you're interested in getting your ass handed to you,
I'll over and over until you get to see this
I think very beautiful, minimal story of alien human friendship.
Out of This World also called Another worlds interesting how
you seem to like old hard games too, but you don't.
But that hasn't carried over into the from soft Space

(52:08):
or even well, I like Elvin Ring. I just cannot
just take it. So it's not hard enough that you
couldn't beat it. I guess yeah to the end fair enough.
That's interesting. Um, I was able. It's hard, and specifically
the way that a sub genre of old games used
to be if you ever played Space Ace or dragons Layer. Um,
it's hard in the sense that you'll run to the

(52:28):
right and a panther eats you, and you're like, what
the funk am I even supposed to do? I run
to the right, the panther reased me, and it does
it over and over until you realize, oh, I gotta
run to the right, step left, jump up and grab
the slag tight and the panther will fall. Like you
have to learn exactly what it wants you to do
and do that and you get to that next stuff
that I find irritating in games now, but but I
didn't when I was a kid. Uh, that's interesting. Okay,

(52:51):
So I believe that leaves me at number four. So
I'm gonna do four and three and then you're going
to do three and we'll take a break. Right. I
think you should do four and we shall take a break.
And it sounds fine, all right? My number four again
because I'm such a brand conscious podcaster, uh and honestly,

(53:11):
because don't laugh at the Mario versus Friend. There's notes
coming from that. Uh No. The character I picked here
was Victor Sully Sullivan from Uncharted. Um, and I'll tell
you why he's on missions with you sometimes not often
mustaches killer love his cigars. It's because he's the tone

(53:35):
like he he perfectly nails the tone of Uncharted and
uh he does have some more emotional resonance than you'd think.
And he makes it fun. He's constantly making it fun
with like just comments and wise cracks and concerns and
uh and uh. He he's he kind of provides a
nice like buffer between the constant sort of love interest

(53:58):
problems that we're having with Nathan Drake and franchise, you know,
where he's like basically mistreating his girlfriend and wife like
in somewhere or the other the whole time. Um And
I think Sully provides this sort of window into like,
why do we like Nathan Drake because he kind of
gets him, and also a window into how sort of

(54:18):
scummy that world can be. But he's like a charming
version of that scummy world. So he's just a fun
tone setting character. And there's a lot of those in
in companions and video games. I just thought without him
that franchise, I wouldn't want to play it. Like he
really does, UH get me interested in it enough to
ausually think he's a more grounded Daxter. I think he

(54:39):
falls into that. He's even got a funny nickname, Sully,
like he's he's Yeah, he's the wife crack. Yeah, he's
a weekly, he's a joker, he's a he's a potato
GLaDOS like he's one of those, but I he's not.
But he's also got a good sort of pathos connection
to right. He gets invested in both the caper and

(55:02):
also he cares about Uh. He cares about Nathan Drake,
and because he cares about him, we care about him.
And it's very simple storytelling and it's very effective. And
without him there is no one charted. I would say, so, Uh, Sully,
that's my number four. And with that, we're gonna scamper
off into uh the third act of this podcast and

(55:23):
come back where our companions either live or die in
the top three? Shall we oh die? Adding that all right,
with the stakes greatly raised, H, what's the so? Wait?

(55:44):
What will cause our beloved companions to die or live?
What is the h? But yes, and if we finished
the episode, they all about about that easy, easy bar
to step over. Um, but let's keep serpentining. So Adam's
gonna hit us with him number three favorite video game Oka, uh,

(56:04):
number three all time. And I this this last top
three is tough. It's gonna be Yoshi. Uh, It's gonna
be Yoshi from Super Mario World has licked your heart
and snatched it and chomped it into a fireball of
truth which I'm spewing at your Yoshi. It was an

(56:27):
incredible discovery when I was, like, I don't know what age,
I was nine or something when I got Super Mario World. Uh, Yoshi.
I didn't watch the commercials and stuff, so the existence
of Yoshi was a surprise. And Uh, every time I've
ever played as Yoshi, I've had a great time. Um.
I think they've explored a lot of concepts about what

(56:47):
mounts can be through Yoshi, not just in that game,
but really all the subsequent games where you've written Yoshi
and Uh, I think Yo, she's a great tone setting
issue to a franchise that's the most significant in the
history of video games. Um. And uh, yeah, you know
for me, like it's a little bit sentimental, like he's

(57:09):
not the best mount ever that's Torrent, but he's a
really great amount. I love that when you ride him
you get new musical elements. So I think it's notable
that Torrent is maybe the first triple A because Mario
was triple A at the time I was premier gaming.
Uh first triple A mount since then that has embraced
the Yoshi. Also, you just snap on and snap off.

(57:30):
There's none of this fucking around, like realistically you have
to feed him to almost is Yoshi. Yeah, but I
think I just think it's interesting how Torrent it is
a truer inheritor of Yoshi's vibes. That's a great point.
I mean, first of all, most mounts can't are aren't
a part of the combat, and Yoshi is you know, yeah,

(57:51):
And I don't This is so old man to say,
but I really think people say years younger than us
who are into gaming, I don't, well, that would make
you ten. You can still game. I don't think you
can understand when you when you when it happened in
real time, how amazing it was to get a Yoshi.
You felt unseems like a gain, You felt unstoppable. Meaning like,

(58:15):
not just Yoshi to be added to the Mario ecosystem,
but Yoshi was such a cool new aspect of the
Mario games that when you were playing Super Mario World,
I don't know about you, but all I wanted was it.
You're like, oh, no, I lost my Yoshi. When can
I get another Yoshi? Gotta be on Yoshi. I can
jump double high, I can eat ship, poop out coins

(58:35):
and ship like Yo. She takes everything to a bunch
of mechanics that you wouldn't expect, like, you know, some
different color shells create different things that he can spit out.
I think that's the addition of a rhythm section to
the music tells you a lot about what Yoshi means
to Super Mario, like the franchise, and that is like

(58:59):
there's a harm this, this is a harmony part right
like uh, And again they're messing with a formula that
completely worked, like Super Mario three was a fantastic game,
and so when they're here to make Super Mario World,
they didn't need to add Yoshi. We didn't need Yoshi.
But man, now you can't imagine a Mario game. Uh,
certainly not a side scroll without him. Uh. And you know,

(59:21):
I've enjoyed the way they've incorporated Yoshi into even the
three D Mario's like Super Mario Sunshine or Smash Smash,
but also in Odyssey you get to possess Yoshi, which
is fun. Yoshi to me defines a companion that adds
something that becomes inextricable from a game, and uh, you know,
and he did it to the most beloved video game

(59:44):
character of all time. So that's my number three. It's
kind of like BT in that way. You're completely right
about that killing power immediately and that's why you value
it in part um cool. Yoshi was definitely, as I
said on my honorable mentions. But I will say, if

(01:00:04):
this means fucking Captain Prices in your top two, I'm
gonna throw the microphone at the price. How dare you?
How dare you find out? Well, he's an honorable mention
saying but that's it, specifically Captain Price from the World
from Modern Warfare too. Yeah, he's an I don't want

(01:00:24):
to keep you in suspense. He's an honorable mention, not
the reboot that just dropped. Okay, my number three is uh,
Lieutenant Kim Kitzeragi from disco Alicia, Oh, I love it.
Let's let's be clear, Uh, Lieutenant Kim doesn't care for you. Uh.
He's off put by your obvious drinking on the job

(01:00:46):
and he's not here for your bullshit. And that's what
I love about him as a companion. It's so rare
in a system video games are designed to release dopamine
and make us feel like we're growing and learning skills
and our points are going up and in artificial world
that's designed to allow for that, and it's rare when
the companion and he does it in a way that, yes,

(01:01:08):
it does skew and endearing. But I still think Kim
Kitzeraggi is far down the road of companion who actually
calls you on your bullshit, is saying uncomfortable truths at you,
or judging you like rubbing salt in the wounds if
you make a moral action that's dubious. He's the guy
standing there going like, you didn't make that decision in
a vacuum. By the way, I'm watching you, like that

(01:01:29):
was getting sucked up. Um. I just love his vibe,
But I love the character performance. I think the art
like what the character design actually looks like is indelibly iconic.
I love Lieutenant Kim KITZERAGGI. I will even like google
fan art of him, which is so rare, like what
a level of interest in a video game. I'll be like, so,
what are the fan artists? How are they interpreting Lieutenant Kim?

(01:01:52):
Show me that Lieutenant Kim fan art because I just
love such a great way too, Like the way that
he deploys that sort of skepticism is through like the
gentlest not even sarcasm, but like dead pan answering of
your questions. Like his professionalism is so amped to like
the max. He never he never overtly says like you're

(01:02:15):
a drunk shape the funk up what he could do
and it would be reasonable, but he never does. And
that makes him lovable, you know, like because like man,
he treats you with so much more dignity than you deserve. Uh,
And that is cool. He's like really he really is.
He is honorable. But like that's I mean, in a way,

(01:02:35):
he sort of represents the ideal of what you'd like
a police officer to be, right like, and that's kind
of interesting, right He's a responsible, a morally driven, careful,
thoughtful cop like that's that's why that's you know what
you wish? We that's what you wish it was? UM
great love that pick who's your number two? Oh? Number two?

(01:03:01):
Um falls into the Sully Daxter sort of vibe. And
I think that's why he is not my number one,
because it is a key. Uh. I like I like
doing the I love it. Um. It's a character I

(01:03:21):
care a lot about because of the extended universe stuff.
It's a character you do use functionally in the game,
which I appreciate, especially in this genre of game, which
is difficult to create a companion who's also routinely functional
within the game. I'm talking about everybody's favorite little white Rabbit,
basically the er Daxter Max from Salmon Max Hit the Right.

(01:03:42):
That's a really important franchise to I'm realizing, incredibly important
to me, Sam and Max. Yes, very much. So. I
am among the very few people who still play. You know,
they're still making play games. I play them. They are
not as good as Hit the Road, but the voice
acting is still reminiscent, and the jokes are still kind

(01:04:03):
of there because Steve Purcell still writes them. Uh. And
so I'm still invested enough. I don't recommend them, but
I do highly recommend Sam and Max Hit the Road. Um.
It's an animated point and click where the puzzles are
actually very funny, meaning like the solutions right in every
point and click adventure game if you don't know this
old obscure genre of game, but this go Alesiam also

(01:04:24):
is one. Um, you combine unlikely items to arrive at
solutions usually and Salmon Max Hits the Road is one
of the few times where I found not only the
dialogue trees funny, insightful, surprising. Oh that's how I navigate this,
that's funny. Um, the solutions are funny in there, like
oh that goes with that, that's a joke, that that
would go with that. And I don't know how to

(01:04:45):
explain it better than that. Um, they actually make bits
out of it. Because Steve Purcell, if you're not aware of,
the creator of Salmon Max, is an incredibly talented comic
artist and legendary. Like the Salmon Max comics are unimpeachably
works of our and so so funny. Uh. He writes
sort of in like the I would say, almost a
Jack carrollac very like uh, dense Dunesbury or trans Metropolitan style,

(01:05:12):
and he wrote the script for Sam and Max Hit
the Road, and he still writes the script for most
of the Salmon Max stuff. And Max is fucking hilarious
and hilarious in a way that I'm sorry video games
can rarely aspire to me, and Daxter could only dream
of like Daxter jokes, I would say, even I would
even say Wheatley and Gladows jokes. They approach what I

(01:05:33):
would call like real comedy. Um, but Max actually is real.
The things Max says are like, I'm like, now, that's
a well pretty high as someone who's devoted fifteen years
to learn in comedy math. That's a good joke. And
that's because Steve Purcell is a great comedy writer. Um
but Max fucking rules. His voice is amazing, He's hilarious.
Every joke they make about him is so funny. Where

(01:05:54):
does he keep his gun? What are the implications of that? Like?
Max is amazing? So Sam, so Max. That's a potent
endorsement of the comedy if that's if you're willing to
put it above Gladows and Wheatley, Um, okay, fair enough,
or like Pixar jokes, you know how they're cute and
you're like, but Max's stuff where you're like, wow, that's

(01:06:17):
this is Yeah, I get it. I understood the distinction. Uh. Okay,
I need to play one of those. I've never played it,
so that is as is, that's the one. All the
other ones, I think six of the games you've put
so far. My real endorsement is that people read the
comic book collection called Sam and Max Surfin read that

(01:06:39):
right there. Okay, I'm sorry to say that the rest
of my list is probably pretty predictable. Uh, but number
two um is Elizabeth from BioShock Infinite and uh She's incredible.
She's uh, I think, in a way, the best companion
ever who was designed to be an enhancement of your

(01:07:02):
game experience. And here's what I mean by that. She
is both the narrative and the color commentary, and she
adds additional functionality to the game. She does all all
the things you want a companion to do. She does
all of them. Um. She's also a great sort of
satire slash response to the phenomenon in gaming at the time,

(01:07:23):
which was escort missions, where you know, the person basically
just protecting them from being attacked by batties and then
they die or they don't, and if they don't, you pass,
and if they die, you gotta do it again. So
she was like a response to doing that and sort
of I think inadvertently kind of destroyed that trend because
she was done so well, Like, so you don't have
as many escort missions like that anymore. Um. She So

(01:07:48):
she's all those things. And also she is a consolidation
of the concept of little sisters in BioShock and an
enhancement of what that little sister concept means. So they
did a lot with this character. I mean, they built
the entire franchise around this character, and I think she
was a real home run. Um, if you haven't played

(01:08:08):
BioShock Infinite, we covered that years ago on this podcast. Um,
but it's a it's still really fun to play, and
she is the emotional center. And I don't want to
say too much more about it because I think her
story is really compelling. I also really liked the way
they deployed her as the fem fatale in the DLC
where you return to uh Rapture? Did you play that

(01:08:31):
the the Noir DLC? I thought she was cool in
that too different, And I've played BioShock Infinite two more
times since, and I my, I've lowered my esteem for
its significance us why she dropped down to twelve or thirteen?
For me um I, she is seminals. She has some
Yoshi points in the sense that I think in the

(01:08:52):
three D space, you're right that you popularized developers went
oh duh, this should be the direction of oh companion
that throws you and ship players will appreciate open fighting
than having to keep also opens up possibilities, which is cool,
totally makes sense. But for me I, she fell in
my esteem because that is the way in which she's

(01:09:12):
helpful is basically that she's just pre programmed to occasionally
throw you amo or elixirs, and that's fine. And then
I also feel like the whole BioShock thing has I'll say,
I'll tell you what's really done it ourcane interesting. Yeah,
that's a good point. I feel like they've taken the
BioShock rains and their games when I play them feel

(01:09:32):
so much more nimble, and I feel like the powers
are more cool like BioShock. Both of the BioShock and
BioShock TO and BioShock Infinite now when I play them
are starting to feel dated and clunky in the actual
like control of them versus Arcane games. Um, so's an
interesting point, but yeah, I'm sorry. She's still very important

(01:09:53):
in the history that we are either going to or
have already talked about Dishonored. Uh, and we've definitely talked
about deathly And don't think it's bad to say that
Arcane has made basically three games in the span that
this game is released and has really iterated on them
that are all interesting. Definitely, And Uh. The thing I'll
say about her and or this at least is take

(01:10:15):
me with a great assault, because another reason she's lowered
in my esteem is probably my fault in the sense
that I like that she's totally important to the resolution
of the plot. The plot essentially is her. But I
don't actually understand the ending of BioShock Infinite to this day,
so that lowers its steep for Ma'm like, I don't
I literally can't suss out what happened. I feel like

(01:10:39):
it's glossed over. But maybe I'm just done. Well, Actually,
that might be a fun thing to talk about. We
have a multiverse podcast on a Patreon, which you guys,
by the way, just side Little Break you guys, if
you're interested in more of our conversations. We have other
podcasts that we do want a Patreon called patreon dot
com Forward Slash Small Beans on. There is a multiverse
podcast that we This might actually fit into that, so

(01:11:01):
we could talk about it there maybe if we didn't
have to play it, but we just covered the plot,
I think, which would probably could. But anyway, I'm gonna
move on from that to my number one if that's okay, um,
my number one. Somehow you started and finished very clever, sir,
I doubt I will you. You, however, are going to

(01:11:22):
be glad because my number one is Kim Kitzeragi from
Disco Lizia. Yeah, I thought he was fantastic. I thought
he was fantastic. I'm honestly surprised Disco got through. Kim
Kisaragi is one of the best characters in video game history.
I really think that, Like he's he's so well written,

(01:11:45):
like he'd be a great character in any medium, but
he's incredible in a video game because you're constantly doing
things as the protagonist of that game that are outrageous,
and his his the way he is really he softens
the edge of that game in a great way, Um,
and also kind of holds up that, like it keeps

(01:12:07):
the game from spiraling into bullshit. You know, there a
lot of games spiral into bullshit, and by that I mean, like,
you know, they just become absurd. They become sort of
grand theft auto playgrounds where you can make any choice
and it's funny and like ha ha, that's what I did. Um.
And even fallouts and sky rooms can sort of descend
into that if you decide I'm gonna kill the ShopKeep
today and like now he's dead, you know, I mean

(01:12:27):
that kind of stuff. Kim Kitsaragi is sort of a
backbone for disco E Lisium that prevents the game from
spiraling into not the story, into not the game it's
supposed to be, Um, not just as as as the
partner and as the police authority figure, but really as
an emotional grounding point, Like you do start to feel

(01:12:47):
like I wish this guy was my friend. I wish
I could be friend this guy because I feel like
being his friend, being his friend would make me a
better person. You know, it would actually validate me as
a person, as a cop, And I think that tells
you a lot about the value of being a good person,
a thing that we don't really explore culturally like we
ought to. And then that sounds like an old guy talking,

(01:13:09):
But honestly, man, Kim Kitsaragi is like a great counterpoint
to all these like sort of anarchy fuck you characters
that we all think are fun. Here's a character that's
a great no no. This is also good and it
matters and I I personally really responded to him, and
I think, uh, he should be looked at by video

(01:13:29):
game designers as the the benchmark too clear for how
to make a complex and interesting companion that you're along
the journey with for the rest of your game. He
he is the benchmark in my opinion. So that's my
number one nice. I think this is ideal because there's
conceptual room for both of our number ones. They're in

(01:13:51):
completely different directions. And I wouldn't I don't. I don't
think you'll have a huge problem or like, I think
we can both appreciate each other's very easy without hurting
our our own um So I mentioned how it's so
hard to actually translate the subtle complexity of a relationship
that you have with a pet right um too, especially

(01:14:13):
to a series of as it usually is. Oh you competit,
you could feed it, you can clean up its poop.
It does a handful of maybe six seven animations that
remind you of Oh yeah, dogs do circle around and
lie down. Oh yeah, dogs do hop up and down,
right like. That's that's how we try to intimate that
I kind of don't understand to this day the magic

(01:14:33):
behind the hand crafted like personality and movements of Triaco
from the Last Guardian Number one way. Yeah, I mean
not to besmirch my human friends, but I have very
special relationships with my dogs and Trico, I know, was

(01:14:56):
designed by the creator of Fumtota, also responsible for ic
Shadow of the Colossus um very unique vision for a developer,
right you know, on the way to and they have
a similar vibe to him. And I feel like lately
maybe he's just quiet, like because he creates very he
takes his goddamn time. But gosh, I want another one, Like,

(01:15:18):
what's this dude's next vision? I'm waiting for it. I
feel like he's kind of left the discourse in a
big way. And I thought the Last Guardian should have
been talked about very spiritual, very spiritual, creator. It rises
to me to the level of spiritual feeling like it
it It juiced my spiritual feeling gland Uh in the
same way that Shadow of the Classes kind of does, um,

(01:15:39):
but to the level that like a Studio Ghibli film does.
It really felt like playing a studio Ghibli movie. And
if you're unfamiliar with The Last Guardian, that story is
about keeping this giant creature alive and helping it. You
are the companion essentially, um it really it dominates the screen.

(01:16:00):
All you care about is it's survival. The plot actually
centers around what happened to it, why is it alone?
What's going to be the future of this animal? And
you form a relationship with this animal through the course
of the game that is so different from dog Meat.
Right at the core of the game are these complex
interactions puzzle like like actually get the feeling of training

(01:16:22):
a pet and being rewarded for that, having the pets
start to show you go from being shy to showing
you affection to showing you fierce loyalty to the point
that it will fight for your life right in these
dramatic epic and it happens to be this super cute
thing that's a mix between a cat and a dog
and a dragon claws and little horns and it flies around.

(01:16:44):
And um, I've read about the development right. They study
They did all kinds of studying that usually animators would do.
They studied hours and hours of footage of uh, you know, birds, cats,
dogs and like the The whole goal of the developments
iCal was to make Trico feel like a real pet
you have a relationship with, and I think they nailed it.

(01:17:05):
Like Trico, I would die for Treacy, so like I think,
but like it's it has some quarters of this game.
I finish it. Yeah, well maybe I will. Um, maybe
I will finish it because I think I still have
that saved. Um. This was a game that people were

(01:17:27):
really let down by because the hype was so high
for it, and then it was a little bit of
a quiet, understated game ultimately interesting. I actually wasn't engaged
with the discourse. I played it, and I'm actual supposed
to come out like five years or something before it did,
and like every year people were banging the drum on it.
And then it came out and it was pretty good,

(01:17:49):
and like that just wasn't you know what people were
looking for. That's that's my memory of it. Um it is.
It is a good game. It's absolutely good game. It's
very unusual. It's very quiet. Um it's it's not like
most games feel like their movie premises in that you're
gonna have fighting in combat and you know, goals and

(01:18:09):
all this like a hero's journey, and this feels much
more like sort of like a quiet afternoon. You know
that that has big moments. There's a climactic fight at
the end, but other than that, you're just navigating, you know,
And it's very it's very morose, but not not desolate,
but just a little sad. Um It's it's really unique.
It's worth a look if you haven't played it. I think, uh,

(01:18:31):
it's got to be cheap now because it's been like
four or five years, So yeah, you really should check
it out. I think he's a great pick because he's
he is a puzzle like every like dealing with him
is the game and also is the puzzle of a game,
and you're constantly figuring out ways to make him do
something and you're not even sure what he's gonna do.

(01:18:52):
That's the other cool thing about it is like he's
not a dog. He's not a cat, he's not a bird.
He's a unique creature that you're trying to figure out,
and so there's an alien aspect to him. Uh. The
puzzle sort of like the puzzles revolve around like what
would you do if I did this? You know, like, uh,
and it's really great. You know that that part is

(01:19:13):
really awesome. So if you're looking for your heartstrings get
pulled by a digital creature, this is the best of
that that I can think of. Yeah, you love training,
You like your relationship with your past at that, um Man,
I like that you picked a human companion. I picked
an animal companion. Now I want a chess tattoo of
Lieutenant Kimis writing Trico like falcre you know, with his

(01:19:33):
fist in my neck. It's so good. Okay, we've gone long,
but let's whip out our honorable mentions. Really I'm gonna
go for that's all right, because I got to do
the number one be the penalty. Hold him the number
one guy. Um, I guess tales whatever whatever, um the

(01:19:54):
ones that are actually interesting forget that tales is or whatever.
He's good in the cartoons. Um trip short for tripitaka
from the game Enslaved. I think that's a great underrated
game with an unfortunate time I think, Uh, I don't know.
Enslaved gives you a very particular sounds like man Hunt
or some ship um, but it's not. It's a pretty

(01:20:15):
interesting almost Mad Max Fury Road like post apocalypse that's
very bright and yellow and desert e um where the
whole thing is that you're locked by this collar to
this woman trip and she's from essentially the green Place.
It is very Fury Road now that I think about it,
and you have to travel together and it's you know,

(01:20:35):
you're codependent, which is great, very much like Buddy from
Out of This World um. Enslaved is a cool like
hidden gem if you haven't heard of it. Another ue
to one. I almost put her in here, but she
kind of gets annoying by the end. Princess Jorda from
Ko the other played right now. She's a ghost princess
with horns. She's a little too dependent, like she won't

(01:20:58):
you'll be like just walk across the plan. Oh, I
gotta hold your hand to walk. So that's why she
fell off the list for me. But an interesting original
uh exploration into what a companion centered game can be unlast,
but not least for me just to piss Adam off.
I don't know why I it'll piss him off. This
will just be a string of nonsense words to him.

(01:21:18):
But um, the clay conductor from Sunless Skies, I don't care. Sure,
yeah exactly, Um, people who do care about weird text
driven Victorian steampunk games about piloting a train through this
through space essentially. Uh. There's this game called Sunless Guys
that I really like that Adam would hate more than anything.

(01:21:40):
I delight myself thinking about him playing it. And um,
you pick up a bunch of companions who helm your
locomotive along the way, and my favorite one is this
old man who's made of clay called the Clay Uh.
Very quick. Other honorable mentions. Uh Tolly from Mass Effect Uh.
Her story, particular how it ends in Mass Fect three

(01:22:01):
is uh great. It's really good and it's very moving.
I think she stands in for basically the rest of
the companions. I like Jack and Rex too, but Tally
is the one that I feel like you're with her
the longest. And um, she has she has a really
significant corner of the galaxy that she represents so her
um KAZOOI from Banjo KAZOOI UM. I mentioned Kazoo not

(01:22:25):
because I think Kazoo is the best character, but because
I like the odd couple thing that that franchise is doing,
and Kazoo is additional functionality for Banjo and also kind
of is sort of the energy of that franchise, like
like the attitude of it that we kind of need.
Um so, but also, you know, it's very rudimentary character.

(01:22:46):
So I just didn't think it was She was quite uh,
she was quite good enough to make this list. But
Banjo Kazoo is a fun franchise, and she's part of
why that's true. We mentioned BT, that's right. And I'll
so wrote on here because I know Mike loves this
Quiet from my Metal Gear Solid five. I'm just kidding.
I did that write that down to make you agree.

(01:23:11):
Although I will say that when you get Quiet outfitted
with a silenced sniper and you have a sound sniper,
she does make the game. It's hardcore calling. The Metal
Gear games have incredible gameplay. I just really and her
character is bad, bad and dumb, but as a function

(01:23:32):
of the game, like a lot of the companions and
Metal Gear, Solid five and pretty good. They just all
of them were silly in one way or the other.
Even the dog that people seem to love, d dog
just it was a little silly for me. I feel
like we did it, Mike. Do you feel like we
did it? I think we're done. I do feel like
we feel like then how about we, uh, you know,

(01:23:53):
finally split ways, end this third act and let people
go about there their busy day. What do you think cool?
Cool companionship over He says that literally every time we
stopped recording work, don't blete

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1Upsmanship: Favorite Video Game Companions

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