Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Novel. This show contains adult material and swearing. You have
been warned. If I was a man, I would suck
Bond Dick for sure.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hey you can, you wouldn't be getting I'm really flexible. Well, Grace,
that's a lot of information.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Around me.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm a savage.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Are you bored of modern dating?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your
house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
time to change the narrative on how we find love.
It's time to start looking for love in all the
wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
picking people who are the total opposite of my type.
(00:58):
And after twenty eight of these days in two months.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Will I find that special someone?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Or Well, this experiment proved that I should just give
up on dating altogether.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
It's time to find out.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Grace, how are you, hiver Oz, I'm good?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
I'm very good. I'm excited to hear about this week's date.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
So this is someone and I don't really think me
and this person ever actually went on a date to
be honest, we were just friends and then just got
with each other like once after a night out.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
But I wanted to sort of try it see what
it was like.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
I guess because in my life right, I have kind
of messed up quite a lot of relationships with my
male friends by having sex with them. And it's something
like all my gay friends are so good at like
sleeping with each other and it not really like causing
a s rip. I feel like there's something about straight
men that once you've had sex with them, they either
presume that you're in love with them and that when
(01:59):
you're just still trying to be friend, they're like, whoa, whoa,
whoa have you ever gotten with a friend?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah? When I was younger, when I was a teenager,
I started going out with my best friend and it
totally ruined our friendship. Really yeah, So I learned the
lesson quite young, like that if you have a platonic friendship,
just keep it that way or you're going to ruin it.
And now, look, I that's just my experience. I could
be totally wrong. I do know friends who've gotten with
friends and they've still remained friends, But I don't know
(02:25):
is one of them feeling something and the other one
isn't Is it always gonna have an underlining awkwardness?
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Do you never really know where it's going to go.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Like I've slept with friends in the past and thought,
this is like so casual, but then something will happen
where then one of us will get with someone else
and it will trigger a jealousy. Yeah, and then it
becomes complicated because like you're still friends, and so I've
sort of always vowed like, you know, I used to
have so many male friends. And my mum said this
the other day. She's just like, you used to have
(02:53):
so many male friends, and what happened? I was, like
I had sex with most of them, and then it
just became complicated and then we just talking.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I wonder what the percentage is, Like I'd love to
a poll, like, have you ever got with a friend
hooked up and it's gone back to normal?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
You should do that on your Instagram.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
You should do that because if, in like the case
of a miracle, neither of you actually like each other
but you can have sex, that's great. The problem is
when you're friends with someone and you already have this
foundation of friendship, it feels more intimate because when you
geting with each other, you're like, we're already friends, we
already know each other really well.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
It's not like a one like stand.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Another interesting topic like obviously i'd love to find out
like can you return to a platonic relationship after having
like very built into sexual relations with your friend or
you know. The other question is like would you tell
a new partner if you have casually hooked up with
your friend a lot of times even though nothing's going on.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Well, this is an issue.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
In my last relationship, like this, this was an issue
because we would go out and like, you know, I
would sort of say, by the way, I've had sex
with him, And then it got to this point where
he was like, you've had sex with like all of
your friends And I was like, because I at the
time was sort of twenty five and still my main
friendship group was my like school friends, and I was like, yeah,
(04:08):
I have, but like it's not that deep, like I
don't really you know, I had no feelings for any
of them. Yeah, But then it became this sort of
thing where then I then made it a thing where
I was like I want to know, like, you know,
if we're out and we're with someone that you've gotten with,
And then it became this thing where we would almost
sort of like do it to like show off to
each other of like, yeah, how many of our friends
we've gotten with?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
So Gray, He's like, after all the past things that
have happened, and considering you don't have as many mare
friends anymore, would you consider like dating a friend?
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Well, I did it for this episode, so tell me
about them. I've known him for a while, like we'd
like matched on a dating app years ago and then
never met. And then I think a year or so after,
like we followed each other on Instagram or something like that,
and then I remember he was like I really recognize you,
and I was like, yeah, it's because we matched on
hinge like a year ago, Like that's where you remember
(04:55):
me from.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
So is that how you became friends?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
And then we just like became friends like through that,
And I didn't really think it was ever anything more
than that.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But so you did meet on the premise of dating.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
That we did originally and then like after that didn't
if that makes sense, because we'd like naturally dating out
like a year before. It was also kind of awkward
because I hadn't seen him for a while, and like
he doesn't live in London, and I think he was
really nervous about the fact that we were being recorded.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Yeah, so how does this actually work?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Do you come preprepared if any questions?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Or No? I have really good chat?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Oh Jesus right, Oh.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
No, I don't do. Do you think I am a good chat?
Do you know me?
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Well? I mean for this side of Lamb Jack, I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
But do you not think I have a good chat?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I do? I do?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I do?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
And you feed bad me?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Do you think I'm a good conversation? List be honest speaking?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
No, I do?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
I do?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I do.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I'm not I'm not going to get myself in trouble?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Am I So?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Well? Again?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
What is pretty terrible outside?
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I find it hard to believe you guys ever had
a vibe. I'm being quite honest.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Really, I felt that made me sad because I think
we get along really.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Well, Like all we doing with together is laugh.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I kind of felt like that was so awkward to
listen to.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Really, I just completely that I just disagree, Like all
I do when I'm with him is just take the
bit out of him.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
But that is your what I've learned your style of communication, conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
I'm bad.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
You could never go out with someone who like took
things personally.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I know, but can I tell you?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Yeah, like it is very much like me and my
friends and my family. If you can't take a joke,
you should not spend time with us. Yeah, you're always
going to leave feeling offended.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
So you love to rip the piss out of people,
but also you want to be what's that word praised? Praise,
but there's another word affirmed affirmed. Yeah, you need to
be friend constantly.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
I do.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I'm I'm really I'm really needy. We really need He wasn't.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Really giving you any kind of feedback. He was actually,
I don't know the correctrum nagging to call it, but
he was kind of like almost making you feel like
it was bad.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Yeah, I think he was joking. This was a stressful day,
like in terms of the recording. I had a gig
in this bar, and like timing wise, we had to
do it in the bar of the venue that I
was about to do again. And it's one of the
only ones I felt really conscious that I was being
recorded because it was with someone I know that makes
sense like all of the other days, it's like, I
don't know you.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
I'm not really thinking.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I'm more in the moment, whereas this I think we
both felt quite self conscious. And then we're in this
bar where I was getting like recognized quite a lot.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
That's fine.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Are you coming to the you know that's where you
because I have that vibe.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
That's right that you're coming, because I was just worried
that there wasn't going to be young women. Okay, great, way,
it'll be really fun.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
It's through the bat.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
That like why is she saying?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Does this happen a lot?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Are you asking me that?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Genuinely?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Is that joke? I can't go anywhere in London?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
So what do you think? Like obviously you're talking there
about like are you a good conversationist? Like is he
a good conversationist? Because like I didn't really get to
hear much of him there. I just heard him firm
me you you like me? So like from off the dates,
like you go in deep your questions on dates straight
(08:56):
away you were asking some juicy things that I'm like,
I wouldn't even ask them a year into relationship. I like,
is that appropriate? You're like, You're like wild, You're like, so,
who was your last bang? Did you write anyone last night?
You had?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Reason?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, exactly, so like did you did you get into
any of that?
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Let's let's be cause I think at one point we
were talking about swallowing your own com.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Have you tried drawings?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
No?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I think I would if I was the man, just
to see what.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
No, I'm not that curious.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Do you have good reviews? I've never asked really pretty
terribly feedback.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
I've told you this, you should last night?
Speaker 4 (09:40):
FI. No, mainly enough, I don't think guys are very
open about tasting their own cum.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
But maybe I should.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Maybe I should start like pulling my friends. Yeah, if
you were a lad, you'd have a questionare out the
side of your bed, and when someone we finished, you'd
be like, can you just fill that out? Please? That's like,
I'm sorry, that's what I know. That what you do.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Also, he was the man, I would suck my own
dick for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Hey you can't, you can?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
You wouldn't be I'm really flexible.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Well, well, Grace, that's a lot of information. I don't
even know that conversation.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
I think because I have a stand up routine about
how you can sort of assess the physical health of
a man by the taste of their car.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Yeah, is that a joke?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
No, it's for real, Like men of smoke a lot,
their com is disgusting.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Sorry. Sorry, Okay, So the next guy, if anyone's dating you,
have a health check. No, I don't need to help check.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I just wanted to come and then I can tell.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
You're like some colductor. You're like, I think you don't
taste right.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
I once dated a guy and there was something so
weird about his calm, like disgusting, like disgusting, and then
he found out that he was really deficient in bittermin
d and then he started taking supplements and his com
tasted better.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Wow, grace, you should you should become like it should.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Be like a savant, like I'm a psychic. I'll take
your carmel, I'll tell you your future.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Have you faked an orgasm?
Speaker 2 (11:23):
No?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Really no, I definitely wish that things have been shorter
than well.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I mean I've stopped.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Yeah, you stop take it, yeah, and be like, okay,
I've done it.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I need I need a naugh It's.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You know, like loads of men take orgasms. How could
you the conduct.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Where do you fucking meet these people?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
People tell me? Crazy ship?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
What has that happened to you? No? Well, probably like
now I'm paranoid has That's why I'm asking you.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I'm going back, I've ever had taxes? Like?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Did you have fake?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Is this what this whole day in series fine about?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Can I just say, Rod's your face when you heard
that thing? When I said men fake orgasms? You did
go a bit like.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Whoa, Yeah, I was like what it always shocks people?
One in four men?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, Like I enough to price. Look, we've all been there,
We've all faked orgasms because we're like, we're just over
this right now. I just couldn't be arrest doing this
any longer. But can I just say, like, I think
it's funny thinking of them faking it because it's like acting.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
It's like, oh no, this is what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Right, So I now know when I'm having sex with
a man and they come, I'm like, you cannot be faking,
because if you were faking, you would not sound like that,
Like men sound so unfavorable when they orgasm. Not to
give everyone a complex, but like now when I have
sex with a guy or like listen to the sounds America,
and I'm like, that was a real orgasm because they
sounded like they were crying and wanted to call their mom,
(12:53):
Like that was the vibe that they were giving me.
It's funny, like I've keep saying to my friends, like
this knowledge that men fake orgasms has not been good
for my like anxiety. Yeah, I just have to trust
the process and trust it when they're making these like
baby sounds that they are fully legitimately orgasmic.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah. And you know what, whenever I fake an orrialism,
it's not because I'm like, oh, this isn't good. It's
more like I'm not in the zone. I think that's
the thing.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
And like I just feel like there should be like
an easier way of saying that without having to fake it.
Because that's why women fake orgasms so much, is because
we are all worried that we're going to offend someone
if we say really sorry, like I'm not gonna come.
You're worried that they're going to like take it personally,
and so that's why we fake it. But if we
could just like more easily say, like, by the way,
like the end of sex doesn't always have to be
(13:37):
like both of us coming like or.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
You know, as Grace would say, you could just come
into a cup and we can I'll just drink it
and check your health, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Or you could just go to the bin and then
I'll go and try it with my mouth and then
I'll come back in and I'll say you need to
go to the doctor's mate.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Basically, it just happens quite a lot.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
But like I'll forget them with my period, i won't say,
or I'll come on with him when I'm coming to
and then like the man will be like, oh, you're
you're bleeding and I'm like okay, like so and then
they're like I've done.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
It despite that, when it's like it's not.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
How an intention like you to say, are these people
that this guy that I was seeing and like the
first time he was like, it's cool, it's poor, no problem,
no problem, And the second time he was like, I
feel like you are doing your purpose. You're not telling
me on purpose, and then they're just planned everywhere. I
feel like people who react like either way, there's something
wrong with you if.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
You react either way if you react or you react
going oh, there's not real against me whatever.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
If you react like, oh my god, amazing blood, like
I'm a vaire, Well that's a bad, terrible do you
think Do you think because my friends keep saying to me,
like I always talk about other people i've banged on
first dates?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Do you think that.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I know you do? Do you think that's a bad
thing to do? I look, from what I've learned from
basically going on data to you, there's no right or wrong,
like do you know what I mean? And it depends
on the vibe of the other person, like it might
open a conversation and create a good communication from the
get go, but I suppose personally would I probably not,
(15:18):
Like I would just use the first day to establish
like do I have any similarities with this person? Like
do I fancy? Then what I realized I'm a basic bitch.
I'm like, I'm like, do you ever been to the zoo?
What's your favorite daughter? And you're like, have you tasted
your own comm I'm like, Jesus Christ, if I get
back in with dating game, I'm like, such a loser,
(15:39):
what the hell?
Speaker 3 (15:40):
But I feel like I'm I'm you know, it's a lot,
and I'm aware of that, and I've never thought about
it till I've done this and I've had to listen
back to myself.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
But like that's your personality, Like why change your personality
for a first date. You may well let people know
kind of you know who you are and what your
topics of conversation are like and what your interests are,
and like, you know, you are extremely open person so
I just don't think you should hide that.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Just sometimes I think about this with like people like
this where it's like a friend that I've gotten with
in the past, and then like I'll like talk so
openly about like other people that I'm getting with. I
think that's the way of me establishing like it's not
that deep. But I understand that maybe sometimes that can
be like a bit jarring because I feel like I
have a bit of a double standard, where like if
(16:24):
he started talking like that about the people that he'd
been getting with, I think I'd be like, WHOA, do you.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Know what I mean, Grace, that's bad. You're like, you're like,
I can do it, but if you do it, I'm
going to search in the bin and make sure the
whole clip there about being on your period having sex.
I don't think there's stigma around that is there.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I think there is.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I'm sorry saying the person. I've literally been in a
relationship since I was like fifteen, so i'd say, you know,
like I think when you're in your relationship, there probably
isn't Danny, Yes, it's like whatever, but like maybe there is,
like when you're having one night to dance or just
hooking up with people.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
I don't know, Like I have friends who don't have
sex on my period of their long term partners. Mm hmm,
but like you know what I mean, right, No, I know,
but it's obviously it's crazy to me.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
That's a busy gal. You know, there's a few days
a month or your first because you're you know, like busy.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Yeah, it happens famously. You get really horny when you're
in your period.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Exactly was exactly to not make the most of.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Like being really horning and also what's like what you
have to like put some sheets in a washing machine
like grow up. I have had that quite a few times,
where like I'll just presume that it's fine to have
sex with someone on my period, so like I won't
even say anything, and then they'll be like, oh, there's blood,
and I'm like, yeah, blood, and I'm like, oh, grow up,
(17:45):
have you ever seen blood before?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
So I wonder that's a good question, Like, I don't
know if you're hooking up with the guy you don't like,
you're not in a relationship with, do you have to
let them know I'm on my period? Do you want
to do this or not?
Speaker 1 (17:56):
I guess you should.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I think I don't ever like consciously not do it,
like forget and then we're having sex and I'm like, oh,
I'll just tell them like once there's blood.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Okay, great, I've another grace, And how do you forget?
Like do you have to take your tampon it?
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
I was just like, you know, I'll just do it.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Down the side of the bed, grace.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Oh my god, no, stop it.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I'm I feel like I am I'm too much. I'm disgusting.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I suppose you do need to let themone know if
you're on your period.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
I think it depends what day of the period you're on.
At the end of the period where there's no blood, like,
I really don't think it matters.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Oh yeah, well there's no blood, but it's more in
the jump scare that they're not like, oh my god,
my dick is falling off. Fuck just blood everywhere.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is so true.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
That's so true. Having sex with my period before and
like that. It was actually I didn't know I had it.
It kind of like it like came while I was
having sex. So sex can bring on your period, is that?
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Yeah yeah yeah, And like he pulled out whatever and
he went very quiet like I was, and he was like,
my I forgot and I was like, oh my god,
what's right? Very well, what's going on? Then I was like, oh, no,
I have my periods. I'm very sorry about that. I
just you know, when it first comes, it comes like
a lot.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so funny. I've never thought
about it that that's the main character of me.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I've never thought, Wow, they must be scared that they're broken.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Their foreskin jump scared, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
You just need to give them their heads up. They
don't think their dick is falling off?
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Right? Should we have bought this and then get another
drink and then you can watched me to stand up? Sure? Yeah? Sure,
you enjoy it?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Did I enjoy with this?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Check? I always enjoyed. It's always it's always a pleasure.
Never children, So, Grace, would you ever date a friend
again after that date? Yes?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
I think like I've got to be just careful in
the future with making situations unnecessarily complicated for myself, So
if it's going to be too complicated, it's probably not
worth it.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Because I also feel like there's.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
A nice thing about meeting someone not on a dating app.
I know, in this instance, we originally made on a
dating app, but do you know what I mean, like
it not being like we've natural a dating app. Let's
go over a date, like after two interactions, it's quite
nice there being some kind of relationship prior to that.
But I'm not sure if it's ever going to go
well for your odds.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
But like, do you ever think it to go back
to normal that you can be friends again after this
or is it too awkward? No?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
I do, I do think so.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I feel like I'm eager to know in life if
this stuff is possible. Like I tried to be friends
with my ex boyfriend for a while, and it just
eventually like we were friends for like a year and
spoke all the time about like our new people we
were seeing and blah blah blah, and then eventually it
just became too much. So you can never really know
if this stuff is going to work until like it
just does naturally happen or it just feels out.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
You never talked to.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Them, and I know, obviously the chat was like very mixed,
like you know, you were going in deep with the chair,
and sometimes I did feel that we're awkward. But at
the same time, I think they were awkward because I'm
a feeling you kind of do like this guy, and
I don't know why.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because we do get on, but I
feel like, no, I feel like in a more like
long term way, we probably wouldn't be compatible. Like I
think maybe I am just a bit too much of
a fucking insane person for him. He's quite like Chill,
who knows we should get him on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
She get him on to interrogate him and have a
life testing. You can check us health, we'll see what
it's ask Grace, Oh my god. And no matter how
many dating one and how many times I sit and
talk to you, and I'm just never surprised anymore, honestly,
Like I live my life by churiously through your wild
man brain.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Next time. On twenty eight dates Later.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Honestly, the way he talks the person, it sounds like
he's trying to make you buy shares in his startup.
He's the kind of guy that gets a guitar out
at of the after party, like that's what it's given.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
I don't want to hear wonder Wall. Oh, my girls
will see around for me. I'm a servy jo.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
You can hear it?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Are you giving to?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Twenty eight Days Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.
For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. The series
is presented by me Grace Campbell, with help from Roz
Pursu and Dan Why. The producer is Diggrey Way. The
executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are Mithillly Raw
and Max O'Brien. Production management from Charie Houston and Charlotte Wall.
(22:36):
Willard Foxton is our creative director of Development. Novel