January 8, 2024 • 20 mins
Hypochondriac Grace describes herself as “a doctor’s worst nightmare”. So, of course, it’s time to take one on a date!
28 Dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartPodcasts.
For more from Novel visit novel.audio
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Novel. This show contains adult material and swearing. You have
been warned the doctor thing.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I'm not sure if I necessarily see myself in a
relationship with the doctor, because I feel like our lives
would be so different.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yeah, keep come home from saving someone's life and maybe
they're doing a TikTok or.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
My dad and I'm like, babe, what do you think
about this joke I've written about analding me. I'm a savage.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Are you bored of modern dating?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
same bar you've only chosen because it's close to your
house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
time to change the narrative on how we find love.
It's time to start looking for love in all the
wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
picking people who are the total opposite of my type.
(01:01):
And after twenty eight of these dates in two months,
will I find that special someone or Well, this experiment
proved that I should just give up on dating altogether.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
It's time to find out.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later. Okay,
so ross, this date was the first time ever in
my life that I've been on a date that did
not have alcohol involved.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Is that really crazy with me? To admit?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
No, I think maybe it'll be crazy for some people.
But even like, I'm not a big drinker, and if
I was going a first stade, I would feel like
I would need a drink to settle my nerves.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
You do, because I think, how does one without alcohol
on a date get to the point where they're like, Okay,
maybe I'm gonna kiss you.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I just can't imagine ever doing that sober for the
first time.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
There's gonna be people listening who are like they can fathom.
They're like, yeah, of course I'd go on a date
and I'll have a drink. But everyone's different, and I
would definitely be on the same page as he was
in like going for a date to don't call sober,
I would be like, yeah, I think I need to
definitely have like a can of Monster or.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Something loads of cbdal CB deal.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Actually, Monster would be the worst thing because I'd probably
tell them my life story. Ye.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
That would make you too like hyper.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Yeah, and probably give you the ships as well, which
wouldn't be great.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So his name is Aaron and We got set up
by a mutual friend and we went to meet in
a cafe in the middle of the day. It was
a lunchtime date because he is a doctor, which is
very cool.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh my god, especially I'm like such a hypochondriac. I
think that would be like a dream same.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I mean, I'm like a doctor's worse nightmare. Like, once
I got the phone number of a doctor, it's game
over because I just literally call them all the time.
But actually that's that's what I actually ended up doing
for sort of.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
The first half of the day was totally great.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
All my ailments, I know, talk about what that's good
that you know your name. This is Eddie, my dog.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Oh my god, I do love Eddie.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, she's great, She's very chill. She just goes to sleep.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
So how do you feel like I spent more attention
on Eddie than you.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
No, I actually would enjoy that because I recently went
on a date when I had her and the guy
just didn't acknowledge her. It was really weird, like she
was there and he just didn't look at her at all.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
That's such a red flag.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Yeah, you're going to have the opposite red flag.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Much prefer that she's so hard not to look at.
What kind of doctor are you?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
I'm a GP.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Oh my god, I'm a hypochondriac. I've got so.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Everyone thinks I got something seriously wrong with her. And
I'm like, you're twenty.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Four, in good health.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
You're in better shape than me. Actually, like why why
why are you here wasting your time in my time?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
I see there's a running team here where you slightly
bully them a little bit. You're like, oh, that's great.
You know your name.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I'm like, Grace, that's what I do. Like it's I'm
I'm I'm really means men.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
When we get to the twenty eight date, we're going
to try break you down.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah. I don't know where it comes from.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
It's like it's that clussic, you know, like the girl
in like Rugrats or something. She just thinks that like
the way that boys will like us if she just
pushes them over, like beats them up. That's why I
was like a primary school.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I picture you going into a first date not being
nervous at all and taking like I suppose taking the
ball by the horns and actually directing the date. But like,
am I wrong? And you nervous going into dates.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
It really depends. It depends on my mood.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
It depends on who like the vibes that the person
has given me before. So like, if if I feel
like we're going to have things in common, they're not really.
But if I feel like it's a bit random or
I'm somewhere a bit out of like my comfort zone,
like not in Northwest London, then yeah I am nervous.
But like if it's like somewhere familiar and like, I mean,
the best first date is like you know, when you
like either have a mutual friend with them or there's
(05:16):
something in common. I don't really get that nervous before dates.
So I feel like I've been on so many first
dates now that I've just like lost the like energy
to be that nervous before. I know, no, little that
sound you just made is not really tragic, you know
what though?
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Do you know, like say if you walked in and
someone was really really like you were so attracted.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Them, then they get nervous under yeah, yeah, one hundred percent,
one hundred percent, And then I do get nervous, and
like you know, they're there are situations where like people
do make me nervous, But on like a first date.
Before i've met someone, I'm like, chances are you're not
gonna impress me that much, so I'm not that nervous.
And then maybe I get there and I'm like, oh,
(05:59):
this is really exciting, and then I'd start to be like, Okay,
I wish i'd like warn an ice are out there.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Can I just say if I was going on a
date with you, I'd be nervous. I would be so nervous, Like, really,
I obviously know you. I've listened to your podcast, I've
read your book, so I feel like I would come
in being very very nervous because you are You come
across like a really really strong woman. You are a
really strong woman, and you're funny. You're everything I think
(06:26):
as a guy coming into the date, they're probably shitting it.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yeah, that makes me so happy, just the idea that
I make me nervous. The doctor thing, I'm like, amazing,
you're a doctor. But also I'm not sure if I
necessarily see myself like in a relationship with the doctor,
because I feel like our lives would be so different
and the way that like what we do as a
job would be really different.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Yeah, if I was with the doctor, I'd be like, God,
you must think my life is ridiculous, Like you must
think that I'm like a ridiculous person and nothing in
my life is real, and like that would make me
really self conscious that like I'm just a frivolous, little,
silly little girl.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, he'd come home from saving someone's life and maybe
they're doing a TikTok of my dogs, and I'd be like,
well shit.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Yeah yeah, And I'm like, babe, do you what do
you think about this joke I've written about anal?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
It was actually really fun day.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
The chat was really good because he was just very
comfortable and so it was like good flowing conversation.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
And I have a question, what is the age difference?
I know he's younger, but what's the year.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I think he was two years younger than me.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
I think the end thing like when you're above twenty five,
like two just that much.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah, Well, he told me that he loves stating older women. Oh.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
If I look back at my dating history, I'd say
most of the girls I've ended up with have been
older than me. Really, yeah, I think maybe by how
many is the oldest? Age difference is like three or
four years. I thought I would have been twenty three
twenty four, as I was twenty eight. For me, relationships
are all about communication anyway, So as long as both
(07:59):
people communication with each other, it shouldn't really be a problem.
How do you twenty five?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Oh my god, you're so young.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Oh my god, you're so young.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
My god, it's so young. I wish I was twenty five.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, what do you think my ex? When I got
with him, I was twenty three and he was twenty eight.
And I am a bit sexist in the sense that
I think it's a bit more normal when the man
is older.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
I don't know why I think when he's over twenty five,
and you know, like I have lots of friends, Like
my sister goes out with the guy who's three years
younger than her and like they're like perfect together. So
I think it's just all about the individual's maturity level.
So I think it's fine. And he sounds really mature,
like I'm normally seeing like well two minutes of him,
but like he's trained to be a doctoring, I mean,
(08:40):
this is a last.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
He's training to be a doctor.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
And also he was just like talking about communication now, yeah,
and I'm like one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
He's older than his years in maturity.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Yeah, and do you know what, I've never gone out
with someone who's younger than me. I've gone out with
guys who are older than me. Like I've had big
age gaps.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
And what's the biggest age gap?
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Eleven years?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Yeah? And I look back and I'm like, oh, you
know what, Like I was, I was probably I was
in my early twenties and the asiac was too big,
you know, like in terms of like we were totally
different spectrums of our life, Like, yes, I should have
been out enjoying my life and partying, but like, look,
I was very mature. I had been traveling the world,
I'd been working. I'd left my house when I was seventeen,
(09:23):
So I definitely felt older. But I actually it's probably
only now that I'm I'm thirty two. Would idate a
thirty year old?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Oh yeah, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Oh yeah, keep me young, No, I mean now I'm
getting older, Like I can so see myself like in
my fifties, of like men in their thirties.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Like that's I can really see that as I get older.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I think it's just when you're still in your twenties,
everything feels more like big than it actually is, if
that makes sense. So because when I remember, like I
once stated a guy who was a year younger than me,
not long ago, and I was like, oh my god,
like a young lover and it was a year I
think we were in the same school year. He just
like his birthday was like after me, No, that's not
(10:04):
a turn off at all if they're cool, and he
was cool.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
He was. He was like, he was good to chat to.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah, So did he say anything that was like, from
what I'm getting right now, he seems perfect. He seemed
really nice.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
He did he say anything that gave me the ick? No,
he wasn't.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
He wasn't ick like, he wasn'n it. I don't know
if I was necessarily attracted to him.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Okay, yeah, sorry, I didn't even ask what was what
he looked like?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
What did he look like? That's a good question. He
looked like.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Can I say one thing I will say from doing
this podcast, I realized it actually doesn't matter what people
look like. It's all about like your chat compatibility and
like the energy you get off them would do you anyway?
Definitely seem like it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
That's what I.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Found really interesting about this podcast, because I'm surprised myself
by people, like by actually having a great like vibe
with someone that I would have never like swiped to
on a dating app basically because they never fit my
like sort of more standard type. This guy, he looks
a bit like what's the guy's name who is in
super Bad?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Who isn't Joonah Hill, Michael Sarah.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Okay, guy, he's also an Arrested Development him. Yeah, exactly,
So he looks like your man from Arrested Development.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I think.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
So there's someone else that's like really on the tip
of my tongue, but I just it's not coming to me.
So let's just say that, and the guy will listen
and be like, Okay, I've never been told that.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
You just kind of like expect him to be funny.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Then, yeah, no, I know.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
I love Arrested Development.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I love he's.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
So many people aren't good at communicating or because that
shows that, like, you're probably like quite like emotionally intelligent person.
If at the age of like twenty three you could
have gone out of an older woman.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Yeah, and even from a like biological point of view,
like med's brains tend to develop a little bit later, So.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
That's actually true, like men's brains developed lower my.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Brains brains, the average men's brain is slightly different to
the average women's brain. I think when it comes to
relationships and having that emotional tallegence, which is obviously more
needed a relationship, it probably takes a little bit longer
for guys to work out that.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Sort of stuff.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Is that actually did he read that enough? I check better?
Or is it like I know we've joken, Yeah, but
I know that, Like you know, in society we always
say that, like you know, oh, men are and ready
to settle down by x age, and you know they
take longer to they take longer to mature. So he's
actually he's confirming that with us.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
The only thing about that, right, And I don't know
because I don't know science, but like I just feel
like it's such a cop out for men to then
be able to say.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
That, yeah, that is true.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I mean, I'm sure it is true because like going
by like averages, like most men I've met when I
was younger were really immature and have since matured.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
And I suppose when you think of it, like most
like just completely at myself here and now I was
probably ready to like okay, I could possibly settle in
and take a relationship seriously at like twenty eight, whereas
like most guys, I know, it's like they it's like
thirty three. Yeah, they're like, okay, now I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Yeah, and they're so lucky I think for that because
we do get stressed. I mean, I'm now going to
be like thirty three. I think I'm like not stressing
at all. But I remember a few years ago I'd
be like, well, I need to know who I'm going
to be with by the end of my thirties because
then I need to start, you know, thinking about having
children with them. That is so stressful, Like it's an
(13:35):
unnecessary stress that we have.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Yeah, no, it is pretty shit for us, Like we
have a lot to think about it, especially if you
want kids. But guys, they can literally just keep going.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
The way I probably express love and affection if we
sort of talk about love angry, yes, which I thought
was an absolute myth until someone kind of I was
like very scientific and I'd be like, this is rubbitch,
Like this is just a load, Like I would honestly
put it like alongside hovoscopes in terms of how much
I didn't believe in it previously. And if you tell
me that you love horoscopes and then I have a
(14:08):
long conversation about that.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
It's not that's not really my dad. But love languages
and attachment.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Style I do.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
I do very much believe in love languages and for me,
quality time and physical touch, the ways I communicate it
and probably in the ways ways I probably want to receive.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
It most of the time.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
I had one go once kind of showered me if
gifts very early on, and I felt some other I
do right.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I didn't like that, Rod, do you are you into
love languages?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
I have no idea what my love language is, really,
no idea, like why are they?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
So this is how you receive love, so that it's
how you feel you receive love the best. So it's
physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time. So if somebody,
say like comes and spends time with you, like you know,
doesn't leave at six the next day, like actually spends
the morning with you.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Acts of service.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
So if somebody comes and fixes your boiler or you've
got light bulb that needs changing, whatever, And then gifts.
So somebody who like thinks of you says, oh, I
saw this thing and it made me think of you
like that, you receive love like that. So for example,
like with my mom, like she's acts of services like
how she gives love, but I don't really receive love
that way. I for her, would receive love from her
if she gave me a hug, like her giving me
(15:18):
a hug would make me feel so much more love
than her like coming and fixing my life.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
But well, does that make sense?
Speaker 4 (15:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
It does.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
So like basically how I show love to people is
I love to give them stuff, So I'll like bake
someone something, I'll give them presents, like I love to
gift people things, and that's my me showing.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
But then which of those do you feel? Is how
you receive love?
Speaker 3 (15:37):
So I like when people give me backstuff, oh do
you yeah? Yeah? But then like say my boyfriend, he
prefers like acts of service.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
So like if I like cleaned the house or like
did something.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah, and I'm like, here's a cake. The kitchen's in
a mess with you.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
But that's why because you're basically doing what you want.
If that makes sense, So for me, mine our physical
time and presents. I love receiving gifts. I don't like
giving gifts, but I like receiving gifts. So like with
my ex boyfriend, like until I figured out what his were,
I used to buy him present, so I thought it
would instigate him buying me present.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
But that's not how he received a game. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Interesting. He told the story of when a relationship had
gone wrong.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Well yeah, and then he told me about the first
date of his that did not go well either.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
I went on a date that was a blind date
and the date was basically bad from the start, like
there wasn't that attraction from either sides. And about an
hour and she was like, I'm actually quite hungry. I
think I might go after dinner. No, as we're going
up to the bar to like to pay, she's like,
do you mind if I pay for my drink? I'm like, oh,
(16:45):
that's problem, and she pays for hers. I paid for mine,
and then she gives me this sort of scowling look.
I think, Okay. She's like, you know what, I've never
been on a date and the guy hasn't paid for me.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
What the hell? But she was like, can I pay off?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
I wasn't even a discussion about paying, she brought up
the topic if you offer you actually it shouldn't be empty.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Bless him.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Honestly, Yeah, it's absolutely it's peak out there.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
He's kind of like in the dating world, you know,
and I I used to do this. You only say
something but you don't mean it, but you're just testing them.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
I know, And that's so toxic.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I used to do stuff like that all the time,
not on a first day.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I do it like in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Yeah, and look, I think, if we're all honest, a
lot of people listening to this will go, oh my god.
I definitely do that when I was younger as well.
But that's kind of what she's doing. She was like
testing him, and then it was like, I can't believe
he actually did he didn't pay.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
But that's so weird to do with someone when A
it's clearly not a vibe, you're clearly not having a
good day, and b you're leaving. It's just it's weird.
So bless him. I felt I felt like, I don't
know if I was like necessarily attracted to this guy,
but I actually.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Felt like a fondness for him, like I liked him.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
He seems like a really nice guy. And even the
fact that, like he brings up that story, he's still
probably quite he seemed to be like quite traumatized by
don I know that, like he someone left a date
thinking that he was like not nice or like a
bit of a screwge.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yeah, he's been thinking about it because he doesn't want
people to think that about him. He seemed like a
very well mannered, well raised young man.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
And the sad thing is like you're just not physically
attracted to him, So like, do you think you'd even
see him again?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I'm not for a date capacity, but definitely like as
a friend, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Sure, would you set him up with someone?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Definitely I would set him up with someone. Oh that's
a good question. Yeah, I know that's not a good question.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
I always think that, like sometimes you meet someone and
you're like, they are so nice, but I'd like them
as a friend, but like they would be I love
them to go one of my friends.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
That is such a good question because actually also I
know that loads of my friends would like like this guy.
That's such a good way to think about it, actually,
because then it's not a waste, is it.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
No, it's like one for me, one for you, one
for me.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Yeah, yeah, I think he's probably one of the only
ones I've been on a date with so far that
i'd like set up with someone else.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Good man are good job?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Oh my god. And then if he goes out one
of your friends, you can still text me a bit
all your ailments.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yes, exactly, exactly. I've got like three doctors on text already.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
I'm like driving them all mad next time.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
On twenty eight Dates Later, not a bag weamons so
many gay group chucks.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
I don't know if it's because men are a plague,
but straight away from like love.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
The dates that we've listened to, I love her, I
love her around me.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
I'm a savage can it?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Twenty eight Dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio,
but more from Novel Visit novel Dot Audio. The series
is presented by me Grace Campbell with help from Rod
Pursal and Dan White. The producer is Diggory Way. The
executive producer is Claire Broughton. I read it to are
Mithily Raw and Max O'Brien. Production management from Charie Houston
(20:05):
and Charlotte Wall. Willard Foxton is our creative director. Of
Development
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Novel
Novel. This show contains adult material and swearing. You have
been warned the doctor thing.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I'm not sure if I necessarily see myself in a
relationship with the doctor, because I feel like our lives
would be so different.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yeah, keep come home from saving someone's life and maybe
they're doing a TikTok or.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
My dad and I'm like, babe, what do you think
about this joke I've written about analding me. I'm a savage.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Are you bored of modern dating?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
same bar you've only chosen because it's close to your
house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
time to change the narrative on how we find love.
It's time to start looking for love in all the
wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
picking people who are the total opposite of my type.
(01:01):
And after twenty eight of these dates in two months,
will I find that special someone or Well, this experiment
proved that I should just give up on dating altogether.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
It's time to find out.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later. Okay,
so ross, this date was the first time ever in
my life that I've been on a date that did
not have alcohol involved.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Is that really crazy with me? To admit?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
No, I think maybe it'll be crazy for some people.
But even like, I'm not a big drinker, and if
I was going a first stade, I would feel like
I would need a drink to settle my nerves.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
You do, because I think, how does one without alcohol
on a date get to the point where they're like, Okay,
maybe I'm gonna kiss you.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I just can't imagine ever doing that sober for the
first time.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
There's gonna be people listening who are like they can fathom.
They're like, yeah, of course I'd go on a date
and I'll have a drink. But everyone's different, and I
would definitely be on the same page as he was
in like going for a date to don't call sober,
I would be like, yeah, I think I need to
definitely have like a can of Monster or.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Something loads of cbdal CB deal.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Actually, Monster would be the worst thing because I'd probably
tell them my life story. Ye.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
That would make you too like hyper.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Yeah, and probably give you the ships as well, which
wouldn't be great.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So his name is Aaron and We got set up
by a mutual friend and we went to meet in
a cafe in the middle of the day. It was
a lunchtime date because he is a doctor, which is
very cool.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh my god, especially I'm like such a hypochondriac. I
think that would be like a dream same.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I mean, I'm like a doctor's worse nightmare. Like, once
I got the phone number of a doctor, it's game
over because I just literally call them all the time.
But actually that's that's what I actually ended up doing
for sort of.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
The first half of the day was totally great.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
All my ailments, I know, talk about what that's good
that you know your name. This is Eddie, my dog.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Oh my god, I do love Eddie.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, she's great, She's very chill. She just goes to sleep.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
So how do you feel like I spent more attention
on Eddie than you.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
No, I actually would enjoy that because I recently went
on a date when I had her and the guy
just didn't acknowledge her. It was really weird, like she
was there and he just didn't look at her at all.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
That's such a red flag.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Yeah, you're going to have the opposite red flag.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Much prefer that she's so hard not to look at.
What kind of doctor are you?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
I'm a GP.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Oh my god, I'm a hypochondriac. I've got so.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Everyone thinks I got something seriously wrong with her. And
I'm like, you're twenty.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Four, in good health.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
You're in better shape than me. Actually, like why why
why are you here wasting your time in my time?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
I see there's a running team here where you slightly
bully them a little bit. You're like, oh, that's great.
You know your name.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I'm like, Grace, that's what I do. Like it's I'm
I'm I'm really means men.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
When we get to the twenty eight date, we're going
to try break you down.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah. I don't know where it comes from.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
It's like it's that clussic, you know, like the girl
in like Rugrats or something. She just thinks that like
the way that boys will like us if she just
pushes them over, like beats them up. That's why I
was like a primary school.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I picture you going into a first date not being
nervous at all and taking like I suppose taking the
ball by the horns and actually directing the date. But like,
am I wrong? And you nervous going into dates.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
It really depends. It depends on my mood.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
It depends on who like the vibes that the person
has given me before. So like, if if I feel
like we're going to have things in common, they're not really.
But if I feel like it's a bit random or
I'm somewhere a bit out of like my comfort zone,
like not in Northwest London, then yeah I am nervous.
But like if it's like somewhere familiar and like, I mean,
the best first date is like you know, when you
like either have a mutual friend with them or there's
(05:16):
something in common. I don't really get that nervous before dates.
So I feel like I've been on so many first
dates now that I've just like lost the like energy
to be that nervous before. I know, no, little that
sound you just made is not really tragic, you know
what though?
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Do you know, like say if you walked in and
someone was really really like you were so attracted.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Them, then they get nervous under yeah, yeah, one hundred percent,
one hundred percent, And then I do get nervous, and
like you know, they're there are situations where like people
do make me nervous, But on like a first date.
Before i've met someone, I'm like, chances are you're not
gonna impress me that much, so I'm not that nervous.
And then maybe I get there and I'm like, oh,
(05:59):
this is really exciting, and then I'd start to be like, Okay,
I wish i'd like warn an ice are out there.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Can I just say if I was going on a
date with you, I'd be nervous. I would be so nervous, Like, really,
I obviously know you. I've listened to your podcast, I've
read your book, so I feel like I would come
in being very very nervous because you are You come
across like a really really strong woman. You are a
really strong woman, and you're funny. You're everything I think
(06:26):
as a guy coming into the date, they're probably shitting it.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yeah, that makes me so happy, just the idea that
I make me nervous. The doctor thing, I'm like, amazing,
you're a doctor. But also I'm not sure if I
necessarily see myself like in a relationship with the doctor,
because I feel like our lives would be so different
and the way that like what we do as a
job would be really different.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Yeah, if I was with the doctor, I'd be like, God,
you must think my life is ridiculous, Like you must
think that I'm like a ridiculous person and nothing in
my life is real, and like that would make me
really self conscious that like I'm just a frivolous, little,
silly little girl.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, he'd come home from saving someone's life and maybe
they're doing a TikTok of my dogs, and I'd be like,
well shit.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Yeah yeah, And I'm like, babe, do you what do
you think about this joke I've written about anal?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
It was actually really fun day.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
The chat was really good because he was just very
comfortable and so it was like good flowing conversation.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
And I have a question, what is the age difference?
I know he's younger, but what's the year.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I think he was two years younger than me.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
I think the end thing like when you're above twenty five,
like two just that much.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah, Well, he told me that he loves stating older women. Oh.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
If I look back at my dating history, I'd say
most of the girls I've ended up with have been
older than me. Really, yeah, I think maybe by how
many is the oldest? Age difference is like three or
four years. I thought I would have been twenty three
twenty four, as I was twenty eight. For me, relationships
are all about communication anyway, So as long as both
(07:59):
people communication with each other, it shouldn't really be a problem.
How do you twenty five?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Oh my god, you're so young.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Oh my god, you're so young.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
My god, it's so young. I wish I was twenty five.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, what do you think my ex? When I got
with him, I was twenty three and he was twenty eight.
And I am a bit sexist in the sense that
I think it's a bit more normal when the man
is older.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
I don't know why I think when he's over twenty five,
and you know, like I have lots of friends, Like
my sister goes out with the guy who's three years
younger than her and like they're like perfect together. So
I think it's just all about the individual's maturity level.
So I think it's fine. And he sounds really mature,
like I'm normally seeing like well two minutes of him,
but like he's trained to be a doctoring, I mean,
(08:40):
this is a last.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
He's training to be a doctor.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
And also he was just like talking about communication now, yeah,
and I'm like one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
He's older than his years in maturity.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Yeah, and do you know what, I've never gone out
with someone who's younger than me. I've gone out with
guys who are older than me. Like I've had big
age gaps.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
And what's the biggest age gap?
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Eleven years?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Yeah? And I look back and I'm like, oh, you
know what, Like I was, I was probably I was
in my early twenties and the asiac was too big,
you know, like in terms of like we were totally
different spectrums of our life, Like, yes, I should have
been out enjoying my life and partying, but like, look,
I was very mature. I had been traveling the world,
I'd been working. I'd left my house when I was seventeen,
(09:23):
So I definitely felt older. But I actually it's probably
only now that I'm I'm thirty two. Would idate a
thirty year old?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Oh yeah, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Oh yeah, keep me young, No, I mean now I'm
getting older, Like I can so see myself like in
my fifties, of like men in their thirties.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Like that's I can really see that as I get older.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I think it's just when you're still in your twenties,
everything feels more like big than it actually is, if
that makes sense. So because when I remember, like I
once stated a guy who was a year younger than me,
not long ago, and I was like, oh my god,
like a young lover and it was a year I
think we were in the same school year. He just
like his birthday was like after me, No, that's not
(10:04):
a turn off at all if they're cool, and he
was cool.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
He was. He was like, he was good to chat to.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah, So did he say anything that was like, from
what I'm getting right now, he seems perfect. He seemed
really nice.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
He did he say anything that gave me the ick? No,
he wasn't.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
He wasn't ick like, he wasn'n it. I don't know
if I was necessarily attracted to him.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Okay, yeah, sorry, I didn't even ask what was what
he looked like?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
What did he look like? That's a good question. He
looked like.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Can I say one thing I will say from doing
this podcast, I realized it actually doesn't matter what people
look like. It's all about like your chat compatibility and
like the energy you get off them would do you anyway?
Definitely seem like it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
That's what I.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Found really interesting about this podcast, because I'm surprised myself
by people, like by actually having a great like vibe
with someone that I would have never like swiped to
on a dating app basically because they never fit my
like sort of more standard type. This guy, he looks
a bit like what's the guy's name who is in
super Bad?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Who isn't Joonah Hill, Michael Sarah.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Okay, guy, he's also an Arrested Development him. Yeah, exactly,
So he looks like your man from Arrested Development.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I think.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
So there's someone else that's like really on the tip
of my tongue, but I just it's not coming to me.
So let's just say that, and the guy will listen
and be like, Okay, I've never been told that.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
You just kind of like expect him to be funny.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Then, yeah, no, I know.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
I love Arrested Development.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I love he's.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
So many people aren't good at communicating or because that
shows that, like, you're probably like quite like emotionally intelligent person.
If at the age of like twenty three you could
have gone out of an older woman.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Yeah, and even from a like biological point of view,
like med's brains tend to develop a little bit later, So.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
That's actually true, like men's brains developed lower my.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Brains brains, the average men's brain is slightly different to
the average women's brain. I think when it comes to
relationships and having that emotional tallegence, which is obviously more
needed a relationship, it probably takes a little bit longer
for guys to work out that.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Sort of stuff.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Is that actually did he read that enough? I check better?
Or is it like I know we've joken, Yeah, but
I know that, Like you know, in society we always
say that, like you know, oh, men are and ready
to settle down by x age, and you know they
take longer to they take longer to mature. So he's
actually he's confirming that with us.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
The only thing about that, right, And I don't know
because I don't know science, but like I just feel
like it's such a cop out for men to then
be able to say.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
That, yeah, that is true.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I mean, I'm sure it is true because like going
by like averages, like most men I've met when I
was younger were really immature and have since matured.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
And I suppose when you think of it, like most
like just completely at myself here and now I was
probably ready to like okay, I could possibly settle in
and take a relationship seriously at like twenty eight, whereas
like most guys, I know, it's like they it's like
thirty three. Yeah, they're like, okay, now I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Yeah, and they're so lucky I think for that because
we do get stressed. I mean, I'm now going to
be like thirty three. I think I'm like not stressing
at all. But I remember a few years ago I'd
be like, well, I need to know who I'm going
to be with by the end of my thirties because
then I need to start, you know, thinking about having
children with them. That is so stressful, Like it's an
(13:35):
unnecessary stress that we have.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Yeah, no, it is pretty shit for us, Like we
have a lot to think about it, especially if you
want kids. But guys, they can literally just keep going.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
The way I probably express love and affection if we
sort of talk about love angry, yes, which I thought
was an absolute myth until someone kind of I was
like very scientific and I'd be like, this is rubbitch,
Like this is just a load, Like I would honestly
put it like alongside hovoscopes in terms of how much
I didn't believe in it previously. And if you tell
me that you love horoscopes and then I have a
(14:08):
long conversation about that.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
It's not that's not really my dad. But love languages
and attachment.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Style I do.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
I do very much believe in love languages and for me,
quality time and physical touch, the ways I communicate it
and probably in the ways ways I probably want to receive.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
It most of the time.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
I had one go once kind of showered me if
gifts very early on, and I felt some other I
do right.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I didn't like that, Rod, do you are you into
love languages?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
I have no idea what my love language is, really,
no idea, like why are they?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
So this is how you receive love, so that it's
how you feel you receive love the best. So it's
physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time. So if somebody,
say like comes and spends time with you, like you know,
doesn't leave at six the next day, like actually spends
the morning with you.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Acts of service.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
So if somebody comes and fixes your boiler or you've
got light bulb that needs changing, whatever, And then gifts.
So somebody who like thinks of you says, oh, I
saw this thing and it made me think of you
like that, you receive love like that. So for example,
like with my mom, like she's acts of services like
how she gives love, but I don't really receive love
that way. I for her, would receive love from her
if she gave me a hug, like her giving me
(15:18):
a hug would make me feel so much more love
than her like coming and fixing my life.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
But well, does that make sense?
Speaker 4 (15:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
It does.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
So like basically how I show love to people is
I love to give them stuff, So I'll like bake
someone something, I'll give them presents, like I love to
gift people things, and that's my me showing.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
But then which of those do you feel? Is how
you receive love?
Speaker 3 (15:37):
So I like when people give me backstuff, oh do
you yeah? Yeah? But then like say my boyfriend, he
prefers like acts of service.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
So like if I like cleaned the house or like
did something.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah, and I'm like, here's a cake. The kitchen's in
a mess with you.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
But that's why because you're basically doing what you want.
If that makes sense, So for me, mine our physical
time and presents. I love receiving gifts. I don't like
giving gifts, but I like receiving gifts. So like with
my ex boyfriend, like until I figured out what his were,
I used to buy him present, so I thought it
would instigate him buying me present.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
But that's not how he received a game. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Interesting. He told the story of when a relationship had
gone wrong.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Well yeah, and then he told me about the first
date of his that did not go well either.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
I went on a date that was a blind date
and the date was basically bad from the start, like
there wasn't that attraction from either sides. And about an
hour and she was like, I'm actually quite hungry. I
think I might go after dinner. No, as we're going
up to the bar to like to pay, she's like,
do you mind if I pay for my drink? I'm like, oh,
(16:45):
that's problem, and she pays for hers. I paid for mine,
and then she gives me this sort of scowling look.
I think, Okay. She's like, you know what, I've never
been on a date and the guy hasn't paid for me.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
What the hell? But she was like, can I pay off?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
I wasn't even a discussion about paying, she brought up
the topic if you offer you actually it shouldn't be empty.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Bless him.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Honestly, Yeah, it's absolutely it's peak out there.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
He's kind of like in the dating world, you know,
and I I used to do this. You only say
something but you don't mean it, but you're just testing them.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
I know, And that's so toxic.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I used to do stuff like that all the time,
not on a first day.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I do it like in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Yeah, and look, I think, if we're all honest, a
lot of people listening to this will go, oh my god.
I definitely do that when I was younger as well.
But that's kind of what she's doing. She was like
testing him, and then it was like, I can't believe
he actually did he didn't pay.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
But that's so weird to do with someone when A
it's clearly not a vibe, you're clearly not having a
good day, and b you're leaving. It's just it's weird.
So bless him. I felt I felt like, I don't
know if I was like necessarily attracted to this guy,
but I actually.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Felt like a fondness for him, like I liked him.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
He seems like a really nice guy. And even the
fact that, like he brings up that story, he's still
probably quite he seemed to be like quite traumatized by
don I know that, like he someone left a date
thinking that he was like not nice or like a
bit of a screwge.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yeah, he's been thinking about it because he doesn't want
people to think that about him. He seemed like a
very well mannered, well raised young man.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
And the sad thing is like you're just not physically
attracted to him, So like, do you think you'd even
see him again?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I'm not for a date capacity, but definitely like as
a friend, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Sure, would you set him up with someone?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Definitely I would set him up with someone. Oh that's
a good question. Yeah, I know that's not a good question.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
I always think that, like sometimes you meet someone and
you're like, they are so nice, but I'd like them
as a friend, but like they would be I love
them to go one of my friends.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
That is such a good question because actually also I
know that loads of my friends would like like this guy.
That's such a good way to think about it, actually,
because then it's not a waste, is it.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
No, it's like one for me, one for you, one
for me.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Yeah, yeah, I think he's probably one of the only
ones I've been on a date with so far that
i'd like set up with someone else.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Good man are good job?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Oh my god. And then if he goes out one
of your friends, you can still text me a bit
all your ailments.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yes, exactly, exactly. I've got like three doctors on text already.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
I'm like driving them all mad next time.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
On twenty eight Dates Later, not a bag weamons so
many gay group chucks.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
I don't know if it's because men are a plague,
but straight away from like love.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
The dates that we've listened to, I love her, I
love her around me.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
I'm a savage can it?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Twenty eight Dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio,
but more from Novel Visit novel Dot Audio. The series
is presented by me Grace Campbell with help from Rod
Pursal and Dan White. The producer is Diggory Way. The
executive producer is Claire Broughton. I read it to are
Mithily Raw and Max O'Brien. Production management from Charie Houston
(20:05):
and Charlotte Wall. Willard Foxton is our creative director. Of
Development
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Novel
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
This is Gavin Newsom
I’m Gavin Newsom. And, it’s time to have a conversation. It’s time to have honest discussions with people that agree AND disagree with us. It's time to answer the hard questions and be open to criticism, and debate without demeaning or dehumanizing one other. I will be doing just that on my new podcast – inviting people on who I deeply disagree with to talk about the most pressing issues of the day and inviting listeners from around the country to join the conversation. THIS is Gavin Newsom.