November 27, 2023 • 19 mins
Grace has already dated a guy with a girlfriend, but it’s time to take things up a notch. In this episode, Grace’s date has no less than FIVE girlfriends. Will Grace become proud partner number six? Fingers crossed!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This show contains adult material, references to drugs and swearing.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You have been warned.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
He hosts his own house sex parties.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Okay, so it's like an unofficial one where you're arriving
and you're like, wait, wait, what's.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Going on around me?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
I'm a savage are.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You board of modern dating?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your
house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
time to change the narrative on how we find love.
It's time to start looking for love in all the
wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
picking people who are the total opposite of my tie.
(00:49):
And after twenty eight of these dates in two months,
will I find that special someone? Or Well, this experiment
proved that I should just give up on dating altogether.
It's time to find out. I'm Grace Campbell and this
is twenty eight dates later.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Hi, Roz, Hey, that was really loud. How are you?
I'm very good?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Hell?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
What was your date this week? It was kind of mad? Okay?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Do you remember that documentary series? It was called Wild
Wild Country is on Netflix?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Okay, and it was like about like that commune and
like everybody was like getting with each other.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And what was her name, Sheila Jumber? Sheila. Yeah. So
this guy that I went on a date with.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
First impressions, he told me he works in TV. He's
a news presenter. But then like he basically started to
like tell me that he had like five different girlfriends
and they were all really good friends with each other
as well, So like all of the girlfriends really good friends.
Like he hangs out with all of them and also
hangs out with their other boyfriends. They're basically in a
friendship group of all of them going out and getting
(02:04):
with each other.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Are you in an open relationship?
Speaker 5 (02:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (02:08):
Yeah, I've never been in any some vocal things. Before
I met this girl, so she's sort of polly or
I guess we're polyamorous. And before I'm at her and
we did our thing, I would think the same with
that word, I'd be like, cults, let me through, I'm
going to see you know, that's gress weird.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
And then you do it.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
And in theory and in practice is very different. If
you think about in theory, you're like, we're it's going
to be constant sex and it's going to be emotions
and like we're in practice. I feel it's a lot
more ethical, it's a lot more communicative. You make a
lot more friends. So the people that we both see,
me and my partner, we're all friends, right, So like
I text a guy that she sees more than she
(02:44):
does because she's shared texting and we're kind of mating. Wow,
like one sometimes hang out the three of you, mainly
me and him, Like, just be a nice guy.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
It really reminded me of that show World Wild Country,
because that show was my first obviously, I know, like
in the seventies there was all these hippie.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Communes where everybody was shagging.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
But like I wasn't alive then, and I remember thinking, God,
that's mad, and that's kind of what When he was
talking to me, I was like, well, so he was
so not the kind of person that if you met him,
you wouldn't think that he was like that person.
Speaker 6 (03:17):
My friends joke that I've got five girlfriends have at
one point, I was saying, five five girls.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
How much do you text all of your life? How
much are you communicating with them when you're not with
some of them?
Speaker 6 (03:30):
Definitely every day, multiple, like a lot throughout the day,
some of them a couple of times a week, depending
on how much should I see them At that point
also got to say that a lot of the girls
would buy and therefore they see each other quite a lot.
And we have a sort of little group of us
which is like gree nice and ry and one of them.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Do you ever have like group sets?
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
That was like I just asked him if he wanted
like milk, yeah, tea.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah. So where's guys meet? Or did you match on field?
Which is like very much that I.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Don't know, Like I'm like, you met in the field,
and you're like, no, we met in the app field.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I'm so out of touch.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
We met in a field. It was really romantic. It
was like pride and prejudice.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
And then then you're all your twenty eight date lover is,
how did you?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And yeah, exactly as mister Darcy, he lived in Soho, right,
which like being from London, you never really like meet
people that live in Soho because it's kind of like
it's just really small, so so it means that you're
really really rich if you have like a nice house
and Soho and so that was kind of like mad
to me.
Speaker 6 (04:46):
When I first started living there, I was like, is
it allowed people Like yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I never meet people who live in so yeah, that's
so d.
Speaker 6 (04:54):
Which means I have to be within two minutes of
a strip by at any one time.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Right, but which is your favorite strip clo?
Speaker 5 (05:00):
Thanks for asking what it's sophisticate?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
But so sorry, is that a nick? Is that a nick?
When he just said did he did?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
He actually just say I have a heart condition, so
I have to live two minutes within a strip club.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, well he's it's a joe.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah, I sorry, I didn't didn't land on me.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
It was it was also lost on me, and I
was like, oh, he's about to say he's got heart
has to be in at UCLH, which is like the
big hospital in central London.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
And then he was like yeah that was a big
no Nan. Yeah, ro was you a fan of strip club?
So we've been to one?
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I went to one once on holiday, was with all
my friends and like, sorry, it wasn't more of it
wasn't actually strip club.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It was a sex club.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
It was like more of a sex show club and
like I just remember being like what the fuck is
going on? Like there was a guy on stage putting
a glass off his ass, like I just remember, like
I was like nineteen.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I was like, I don't know how to process this.
I'm way too naive.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
But it was amazing in terms of like all the
people there. It was such a like I suppose a
liberal place. It was like so much fun.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
But yeah, strip clubs, I've actually never gone to, like
a proper strip club. I don't know why. In my head,
I feel like it's quite seedy or something.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I think because so many strip clubs are like four men,
do you know what I mean. I'd love to go
to strip club where it's like for women, like Chippendale's Vibes,
where it's like all the ships are men. But yeah,
like what you were just saying, like those kinds of shows,
I love seeing stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
That's sick.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yeah, but I'm not sure if I want to go
to a club that's like essentially four men, would you
think it's.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
A red flag?
Speaker 3 (06:25):
If a guy or a girl was going to strip
club like.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Regularly occasionally, if they went, I wouldn't think it was
real flag. If they went a lot, if they went
on their own, I would find that a bit.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, I'm actually I have to say, I'm loving this
insight into like how other people live. I'm like, wow,
my god, this are so fascinating, Like I think so
but the only thing I do think right?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
And I felt this like with this guy in particularly,
it's like, how do you actually like have time to
be seeing five different people?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, you live in Soho? Like how you are enough money?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
It's living Soho, but you're dating five different women. I
just I sort of couldn't quite wrap my hand.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Do you know what? I'd love to meet the women?
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I love to do want I want you to go
and meet them and record it.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I would love that because I'd love to know what
they are like, these women. So from looking at his profile,
he looks like the kind of guy who shags around
but isn't necessarily polyamorous.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Sorry, I would not have got that from his profile.
I was like, oh my god, he's like a weather
man or something. He still holds them he's swimming some
fresh water lake or whatever, and.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
It looks a bit like a right wing Tory. Yeah,
yeah he kind of does.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
And like, you know what, when you send me this,
I only looked at his photos and that's why I
was shocking. You're like he's got five girlfriends. And then
I just scrolled in and realized that his pronaiins are
he him you your mom.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Ah, those sexy parties come at me if you're funny
and hot, but you don't like sex parties.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I hate sex parties, and you know what is mad?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Okay, Yeah, I went to a sex party last year
for this documentary I was making about sex parties.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
And then one of the things.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
He said was like, oh, I didn't know whether or
not to say this to you, but I was actually
at the sex party that you were at, and my
friend was like, oh, look there's Grace Campbell and I
was like, that's kind of weird.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
We were actually in the same party.
Speaker 6 (08:23):
We were at the same kenning Kin's party where you
went with your film crew.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Were you at that party?
Speaker 6 (08:28):
I remember chaining to go and she's like, oh, yeah,
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Gonna lie that.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Maybe that I felt quite self.
Speaker 6 (08:34):
Contra but that's I would say. I'm self consciously like
I didn't do anything of that. I was on that
same sort of VIP floor.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Right, Okay, did you go with your partner?
Speaker 6 (08:44):
No? I went with a girl who actually didn't make
it because she was on a period.
Speaker 7 (08:50):
Okay, sorry, sorry, can I just say the way he
just swallowed the word period is so weird?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
He you and your film crew? We you say, like
you and you're a film girul. I was like what,
I'd say, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Is this?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
That man not on TV? And okay, so.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
She was on.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So I'm so fascinated.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I only heard of Killing Kittens sex parties like last
month because I am clearly like ten years.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Mind everyone, but like, is that not the really explain
what that is.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
It's the kind of like it's the most not necessarily
high end, but it's very heterosexual like a lot of
the other big sex parties are really like queer based,
and Killing Kittens is like really straight and also quite
like middle age and like middle class.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
And he hosts them as well.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
He hosts his own sex parties.
Speaker 7 (09:45):
And he what are they called? I didn't ask that.
I think they were.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
More like house sex parties and like basically like you
know her saying he's got like five girlfriends and they
will have like different boyfriends and they will like get
with each other.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I think they just have orgies.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Okay, so it's like an a fishing one where you're right, yeah, wait,
what's going on?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Yeah, it's like it's like you thought you were going
around for a Eurovision party and then suddenly like everyone's shagging.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
Talked about probably amateur a long time. I feel like spokesperson.
What else do you do?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
What else are you into?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
What are your hobby.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Hobbies?
Speaker 6 (10:36):
Speaking of the Chinese, because I lived in China for
a year, super social, so I like sort of the
so I do organize parties, sort of sexy parties, even
though I'm not really into them myself. I quite like
organizing the I'm quite a hosting.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
We do have these like around the place.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
That's not fun, that's all a bit more like what
I imagined would be my ideal sex party scenarios, like.
Speaker 6 (10:55):
Twelve kind of a house part people and we're all
kind of we usually like this core group know each
other and then we bring friends that we know.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
No sorry, one thing I want to know about.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I know he said a lot there, but like does
he tell the airbnb people?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Well probably not, okay, and that's pretty I I do
that loads. I know loads of people that are just
like run an Airbnb and then have a massive party.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Who's cleaning that up? I know.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
No.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I also him being like I don't enjoy sex parties,
but I love hosting them, said.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
No one ever, Yeah, like what do you doing? Just watching?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Sorry, that's just such a lie. He obviously loves sex parties.
He's mentioned them like three times at this point.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
He should he should have just been a wedding planet.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I also have to say, like, this is when I
know that I'm like bored, because it gave me the
hearing myself ask him if he had any hobbies, because
that's the kind of chat that like, I'm like, God,
that is like the sort of Google what's a good
question to ask?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
And that's it?
Speaker 1 (12:01):
And that really that was when I was like, Okay,
I'm slightly checking out here, and I was like, so,
do you have any or bees? It felt like I
was with like someone who's like trying to be a
cult leader, and he was kind of like trying to
hypnotize me into why polyamory is the only way forward,
and at moments I was like, gorgea making it sound amazing.
(12:22):
But then I kept like sort of blinking and being
like is this man like got me under a spell?
Speaker 6 (12:27):
The way A very very monoglous friend of mine, No,
second before marriage friend when he first had his first son,
was worried when his second child was on the way,
was I'm scared that I can't love my second son
as much as I can love my first song. But
your capacity for love grows. So I think that's a
really good way to look at it, because I think
you can love more than one person, you love them
(12:49):
in different ways.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
But I still think loving your kid is different than
being in law. You think, but the romantic partner, yeah,
I would disagree.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
Really, yeah, yeah, I would say you have different things.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Really really deep soulmate level relationships with my best friends, right,
and I've got like different, very different relationships, and I've
got a lot of best friends, which is like this
ongoing joke in my family that like.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I have more best friends than anyone.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
But I feel that's a different kind of love for
what I felt for my ex toy friends.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yeah, I can't believe he compared loving like being polyamorous
to loving your children.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah, but you know what I have to say, Like
he went there and I was like, for a moment,
I was like, oh no, no, he is hypnotizing us.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
No I know.
Speaker 7 (13:39):
But also that is not a comparison. No, I'm sorry,
it's not the same. Like it's not the same at all.
It's a completely different type of love.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I just thought that was weird and I was like
he it was like he was like.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Slightly clutching at straws to like persuade me.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
One of the good things I like about it is
that the sort of monogamous thing is like very foxed
in right's been there for centuries.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
And it hasn't changed, whereas this is kind of like
you make your own works, is much more what humans
are about.
Speaker 6 (14:07):
And then from that, I've just noticed sort of many
other sort of healthy things come from it, especially for
guys where jealousy insecurity are quite a big factor.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Not talking lack of communication.
Speaker 6 (14:17):
It really forces you to do that general communication is
a lot higher, especially for white English guy that's generally
not the case, where often you sort of build up
emotions and anxiety and it all comes out in one thing.
And so I don't know, I think it's healthy in
that respect because I feel like monogamy is often based
on stuff that isn't really human to us. It's based
on what a guy wrote in the Bible years ago,
(14:38):
or whatever, you know, was set up for the patriarchy.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
He's really going in trying to convince you, though.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
He was hammering it very like it was kind of
always spoke about. And then it got to the end
of the day and I was like, we haven't spoken
about anything else apart from your polyamory. And he was
telling me about like like his parents found out recently
that he was like polyamorous, and then you know, at
the beginning, they didn't really like his dad didn't really
get it. But then after a while, it's fine. He
(15:04):
had his birthday and he took all of his girlfriends
to his birthday with his parents and they were all
there having his birthday dinner or his girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Well, opened your family about it.
Speaker 6 (15:15):
Well, I didn't have the conversation over the phone. I
did it in person, and that was quite difficult because
my dad's eyebrows were like off his face just talking
to him, my mum and I could just see out
of my periphery Dad's eyebrows going on.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
That's so Dad, that's so like a dad thing to do,
not say anything but react facially.
Speaker 6 (15:33):
But then when they met her, it was so natural
because they met her with my other partner because their friends.
It was like my birthday dinner and I brought other
friends and then they were there as well, and we'll
just hang out as a group.
Speaker 5 (15:43):
And that made him much more.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Is because it's basically like your group of friends, like
a pace, right, and it's not like and that they
arrived together, the two girls because their maids, and they
were like, oh right, well, they're so distinguished.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
All the ideas that this is weird.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Isn't that mental? That is mental?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
He was hypnotizing me on how amazing polyamory is, and
then I was kind of challenging him on some of it.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
So I went on the.
Speaker 6 (16:09):
Day the other day with a girl who is married
but the opening of the relationship has a husband who
has the same name as me and also the same
nickname as we. But anyway, we had a lot of common.
We got on really well, and we met very quickly,
just for a quick drink, just to be like. And
afterwards she was like, I liked you too much. I'm
not here for this, right, I'm here for like you know,
(16:30):
I'm here. I'm not here for that. I'm not And
I was like, interesting, because I can do that as well.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
But I don't know if I could do that.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Yeah, I don't have those feelings when I'm.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah, especially at the beginning of opening up a relationship,
I would freak out.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
I think that was me, Yeah, because the rules would
be obviously, this is purely physical.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
This is not so I don't know it's also.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
But also I don't know if I don't know, is
anything ever purely vision if it's happening more than once.
I think one night Stan can be purely physical. And
I think I've literally had seven people before that. I've
not even boken a word.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
To wait, stuff the stuff, the cliff grace, what how
does that even work? Where were you and like what
were you signing to them?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
No, I just feel like like I, you know, it's happened.
It happened to me last summer and Marseille, Like I
was in a club and I just like looked at
this guy and then we started kissing like each other,
and then we you know, left and we went and
had sex. And so my friends call it my like
a maturist. And my friends say, like, I have this
like sometimes very rare.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Now it used to be more frequent by you.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Used to have this like ball like a b U
l L, like a like the animal like ball mode
where I'd be out and I just would suddenly be
like I need to have sex, and so I just
like look at someone and I'd be like, let's have sex.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
You're like a mine. You're like that, that's what you
should be for alloween. You should dress the mine like
a sex mine.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
And I bet I would shag.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I bet I would shag another mine.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Carry on the cliff.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
But I had to have ongoing sex and like physical
intimacy or someone.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I find it's hard for that to be Like I.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
Think you can have really good sex with someone that
you're purely sexually. I think I'd like that before where
I for some reason, I know they're really hot and
they're really nice, but for whatever reason, I have not
had that. You know, I don't massively fancy them or
I'm not really intoent And I know that for some
people would be like a juxtaposition, but for me that's happened.
(18:21):
I've been a bit like why do I fancy It
doesn't matter?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
That?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Is he not like kind of explaining your exact issue
with being in a parlor.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Well, I think I think it was actually more a
humble brag. I think he was just trying to be
like I went on a date with this woman who
was like, do you know what, I like you too much?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah? I like you too much? So would you see
him again?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
No solid answer now, nothing personal. Also, he's fine, he's
got five girl friends.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah, he's believing. He's doing grand next time.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
On twenty eight dates later, I mean films, dancing, and
a bunch of hippie adjacent things like contact, improv, psychedelics.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Not sure that is, but I mean a lot of
these things.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I don't know what they are.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
I don't know what I don't know what circling is.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I know what boordering is.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Ald me, I'm a servo. Can it?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Twenty eight Days Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.
For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. The series
is presented by me Grace Campbell, with help from Roz
Pursal and Dan Whye. The producer is Diggrey Way. The
executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are mithillly Raw
and Max O'Brien. Production management from Sharie Houston and Charlotte Wall.
(19:45):
Willard Foxton is our creative director of Development.
This show contains adult material, references to drugs and swearing.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You have been warned.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
He hosts his own house sex parties.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Okay, so it's like an unofficial one where you're arriving
and you're like, wait, wait, what's.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Going on around me?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
I'm a savage are.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You board of modern dating?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your
house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
time to change the narrative on how we find love.
It's time to start looking for love in all the
wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
picking people who are the total opposite of my tie.
(00:49):
And after twenty eight of these dates in two months,
will I find that special someone? Or Well, this experiment
proved that I should just give up on dating altogether.
It's time to find out. I'm Grace Campbell and this
is twenty eight dates later.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Hi, Roz, Hey, that was really loud. How are you?
I'm very good?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Hell?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
What was your date this week? It was kind of mad? Okay?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Do you remember that documentary series? It was called Wild
Wild Country is on Netflix?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Okay, and it was like about like that commune and
like everybody was like getting with each other.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And what was her name, Sheila Jumber? Sheila. Yeah. So
this guy that I went on a date with.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
First impressions, he told me he works in TV. He's
a news presenter. But then like he basically started to
like tell me that he had like five different girlfriends
and they were all really good friends with each other
as well, So like all of the girlfriends really good friends.
Like he hangs out with all of them and also
hangs out with their other boyfriends. They're basically in a
friendship group of all of them going out and getting
(02:04):
with each other.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Are you in an open relationship?
Speaker 5 (02:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (02:08):
Yeah, I've never been in any some vocal things. Before
I met this girl, so she's sort of polly or
I guess we're polyamorous. And before I'm at her and
we did our thing, I would think the same with
that word, I'd be like, cults, let me through, I'm
going to see you know, that's gress weird.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
And then you do it.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
And in theory and in practice is very different. If
you think about in theory, you're like, we're it's going
to be constant sex and it's going to be emotions
and like we're in practice. I feel it's a lot
more ethical, it's a lot more communicative. You make a
lot more friends. So the people that we both see,
me and my partner, we're all friends, right, So like
I text a guy that she sees more than she
(02:44):
does because she's shared texting and we're kind of mating. Wow,
like one sometimes hang out the three of you, mainly
me and him, Like, just be a nice guy.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
It really reminded me of that show World Wild Country,
because that show was my first obviously, I know, like
in the seventies there was all these hippie.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Communes where everybody was shagging.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
But like I wasn't alive then, and I remember thinking, God,
that's mad, and that's kind of what When he was
talking to me, I was like, well, so he was
so not the kind of person that if you met him,
you wouldn't think that he was like that person.
Speaker 6 (03:17):
My friends joke that I've got five girlfriends have at
one point, I was saying, five five girls.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
How much do you text all of your life? How
much are you communicating with them when you're not with
some of them?
Speaker 6 (03:30):
Definitely every day, multiple, like a lot throughout the day,
some of them a couple of times a week, depending
on how much should I see them At that point
also got to say that a lot of the girls
would buy and therefore they see each other quite a lot.
And we have a sort of little group of us
which is like gree nice and ry and one of them.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Do you ever have like group sets?
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
That was like I just asked him if he wanted
like milk, yeah, tea.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah. So where's guys meet? Or did you match on field?
Which is like very much that I.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Don't know, Like I'm like, you met in the field,
and you're like, no, we met in the app field.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I'm so out of touch.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
We met in a field. It was really romantic. It
was like pride and prejudice.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
And then then you're all your twenty eight date lover is,
how did you?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And yeah, exactly as mister Darcy, he lived in Soho, right,
which like being from London, you never really like meet
people that live in Soho because it's kind of like
it's just really small, so so it means that you're
really really rich if you have like a nice house
and Soho and so that was kind of like mad
to me.
Speaker 6 (04:46):
When I first started living there, I was like, is
it allowed people Like yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I never meet people who live in so yeah, that's
so d.
Speaker 6 (04:54):
Which means I have to be within two minutes of
a strip by at any one time.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Right, but which is your favorite strip clo?
Speaker 5 (05:00):
Thanks for asking what it's sophisticate?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
But so sorry, is that a nick? Is that a nick?
When he just said did he did?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
He actually just say I have a heart condition, so
I have to live two minutes within a strip club.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, well he's it's a joe.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah, I sorry, I didn't didn't land on me.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
It was it was also lost on me, and I
was like, oh, he's about to say he's got heart
has to be in at UCLH, which is like the
big hospital in central London.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
And then he was like yeah that was a big
no Nan. Yeah, ro was you a fan of strip club?
So we've been to one?
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I went to one once on holiday, was with all
my friends and like, sorry, it wasn't more of it
wasn't actually strip club.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It was a sex club.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
It was like more of a sex show club and
like I just remember being like what the fuck is
going on? Like there was a guy on stage putting
a glass off his ass, like I just remember, like
I was like nineteen.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I was like, I don't know how to process this.
I'm way too naive.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
But it was amazing in terms of like all the
people there. It was such a like I suppose a
liberal place. It was like so much fun.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
But yeah, strip clubs, I've actually never gone to, like
a proper strip club. I don't know why. In my head,
I feel like it's quite seedy or something.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I think because so many strip clubs are like four men,
do you know what I mean. I'd love to go
to strip club where it's like for women, like Chippendale's Vibes,
where it's like all the ships are men. But yeah,
like what you were just saying, like those kinds of shows,
I love seeing stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
That's sick.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yeah, but I'm not sure if I want to go
to a club that's like essentially four men, would you
think it's.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
A red flag?
Speaker 3 (06:25):
If a guy or a girl was going to strip
club like.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Regularly occasionally, if they went, I wouldn't think it was
real flag. If they went a lot, if they went
on their own, I would find that a bit.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, I'm actually I have to say, I'm loving this
insight into like how other people live. I'm like, wow,
my god, this are so fascinating, Like I think so
but the only thing I do think right?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
And I felt this like with this guy in particularly,
it's like, how do you actually like have time to
be seeing five different people?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, you live in Soho? Like how you are enough money?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
It's living Soho, but you're dating five different women. I
just I sort of couldn't quite wrap my hand.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Do you know what? I'd love to meet the women?
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I love to do want I want you to go
and meet them and record it.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I would love that because I'd love to know what
they are like, these women. So from looking at his profile,
he looks like the kind of guy who shags around
but isn't necessarily polyamorous.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Sorry, I would not have got that from his profile.
I was like, oh my god, he's like a weather
man or something. He still holds them he's swimming some
fresh water lake or whatever, and.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
It looks a bit like a right wing Tory. Yeah,
yeah he kind of does.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
And like, you know what, when you send me this,
I only looked at his photos and that's why I
was shocking. You're like he's got five girlfriends. And then
I just scrolled in and realized that his pronaiins are
he him you your mom.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Ah, those sexy parties come at me if you're funny
and hot, but you don't like sex parties.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I hate sex parties, and you know what is mad?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Okay, Yeah, I went to a sex party last year
for this documentary I was making about sex parties.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
And then one of the things.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
He said was like, oh, I didn't know whether or
not to say this to you, but I was actually
at the sex party that you were at, and my
friend was like, oh, look there's Grace Campbell and I
was like, that's kind of weird.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
We were actually in the same party.
Speaker 6 (08:23):
We were at the same kenning Kin's party where you
went with your film crew.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Were you at that party?
Speaker 6 (08:28):
I remember chaining to go and she's like, oh, yeah,
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Gonna lie that.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Maybe that I felt quite self.
Speaker 6 (08:34):
Contra but that's I would say. I'm self consciously like
I didn't do anything of that. I was on that
same sort of VIP floor.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Right, Okay, did you go with your partner?
Speaker 6 (08:44):
No? I went with a girl who actually didn't make
it because she was on a period.
Speaker 7 (08:50):
Okay, sorry, sorry, can I just say the way he
just swallowed the word period is so weird?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
He you and your film crew? We you say, like
you and you're a film girul. I was like what,
I'd say, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Is this?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
That man not on TV? And okay, so.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
She was on.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So I'm so fascinated.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I only heard of Killing Kittens sex parties like last
month because I am clearly like ten years.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Mind everyone, but like, is that not the really explain
what that is.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
It's the kind of like it's the most not necessarily
high end, but it's very heterosexual like a lot of
the other big sex parties are really like queer based,
and Killing Kittens is like really straight and also quite
like middle age and like middle class.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
And he hosts them as well.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
He hosts his own sex parties.
Speaker 7 (09:45):
And he what are they called? I didn't ask that.
I think they were.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
More like house sex parties and like basically like you
know her saying he's got like five girlfriends and they
will have like different boyfriends and they will like get
with each other.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I think they just have orgies.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Okay, so it's like an a fishing one where you're right, yeah, wait,
what's going on?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Yeah, it's like it's like you thought you were going
around for a Eurovision party and then suddenly like everyone's shagging.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
Talked about probably amateur a long time. I feel like spokesperson.
What else do you do?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
What else are you into?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
What are your hobby.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Hobbies?
Speaker 6 (10:36):
Speaking of the Chinese, because I lived in China for
a year, super social, so I like sort of the
so I do organize parties, sort of sexy parties, even
though I'm not really into them myself. I quite like
organizing the I'm quite a hosting.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
We do have these like around the place.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
That's not fun, that's all a bit more like what
I imagined would be my ideal sex party scenarios, like.
Speaker 6 (10:55):
Twelve kind of a house part people and we're all
kind of we usually like this core group know each
other and then we bring friends that we know.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
No sorry, one thing I want to know about.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I know he said a lot there, but like does
he tell the airbnb people?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Well probably not, okay, and that's pretty I I do
that loads. I know loads of people that are just
like run an Airbnb and then have a massive party.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Who's cleaning that up? I know.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
No.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I also him being like I don't enjoy sex parties,
but I love hosting them, said.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
No one ever, Yeah, like what do you doing? Just watching?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Sorry, that's just such a lie. He obviously loves sex parties.
He's mentioned them like three times at this point.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
He should he should have just been a wedding planet.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I also have to say, like, this is when I
know that I'm like bored, because it gave me the
hearing myself ask him if he had any hobbies, because
that's the kind of chat that like, I'm like, God,
that is like the sort of Google what's a good
question to ask?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
And that's it?
Speaker 1 (12:01):
And that really that was when I was like, Okay,
I'm slightly checking out here, and I was like, so,
do you have any or bees? It felt like I
was with like someone who's like trying to be a
cult leader, and he was kind of like trying to
hypnotize me into why polyamory is the only way forward,
and at moments I was like, gorgea making it sound amazing.
(12:22):
But then I kept like sort of blinking and being
like is this man like got me under a spell?
Speaker 6 (12:27):
The way A very very monoglous friend of mine, No,
second before marriage friend when he first had his first son,
was worried when his second child was on the way,
was I'm scared that I can't love my second son
as much as I can love my first song. But
your capacity for love grows. So I think that's a
really good way to look at it, because I think
you can love more than one person, you love them
(12:49):
in different ways.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
But I still think loving your kid is different than
being in law. You think, but the romantic partner, yeah,
I would disagree.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
Really, yeah, yeah, I would say you have different things.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Really really deep soulmate level relationships with my best friends, right,
and I've got like different, very different relationships, and I've
got a lot of best friends, which is like this
ongoing joke in my family that like.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I have more best friends than anyone.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
But I feel that's a different kind of love for
what I felt for my ex toy friends.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yeah, I can't believe he compared loving like being polyamorous
to loving your children.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah, but you know what I have to say, Like
he went there and I was like, for a moment,
I was like, oh no, no, he is hypnotizing us.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
No I know.
Speaker 7 (13:39):
But also that is not a comparison. No, I'm sorry,
it's not the same. Like it's not the same at all.
It's a completely different type of love.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I just thought that was weird and I was like
he it was like he was like.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Slightly clutching at straws to like persuade me.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
One of the good things I like about it is
that the sort of monogamous thing is like very foxed
in right's been there for centuries.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
And it hasn't changed, whereas this is kind of like
you make your own works, is much more what humans
are about.
Speaker 6 (14:07):
And then from that, I've just noticed sort of many
other sort of healthy things come from it, especially for
guys where jealousy insecurity are quite a big factor.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Not talking lack of communication.
Speaker 6 (14:17):
It really forces you to do that general communication is
a lot higher, especially for white English guy that's generally
not the case, where often you sort of build up
emotions and anxiety and it all comes out in one thing.
And so I don't know, I think it's healthy in
that respect because I feel like monogamy is often based
on stuff that isn't really human to us. It's based
on what a guy wrote in the Bible years ago,
(14:38):
or whatever, you know, was set up for the patriarchy.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
He's really going in trying to convince you, though.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
He was hammering it very like it was kind of
always spoke about. And then it got to the end
of the day and I was like, we haven't spoken
about anything else apart from your polyamory. And he was
telling me about like like his parents found out recently
that he was like polyamorous, and then you know, at
the beginning, they didn't really like his dad didn't really
get it. But then after a while, it's fine. He
(15:04):
had his birthday and he took all of his girlfriends
to his birthday with his parents and they were all
there having his birthday dinner or his girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Well, opened your family about it.
Speaker 6 (15:15):
Well, I didn't have the conversation over the phone. I
did it in person, and that was quite difficult because
my dad's eyebrows were like off his face just talking
to him, my mum and I could just see out
of my periphery Dad's eyebrows going on.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
That's so Dad, that's so like a dad thing to do,
not say anything but react facially.
Speaker 6 (15:33):
But then when they met her, it was so natural
because they met her with my other partner because their friends.
It was like my birthday dinner and I brought other
friends and then they were there as well, and we'll
just hang out as a group.
Speaker 5 (15:43):
And that made him much more.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Is because it's basically like your group of friends, like
a pace, right, and it's not like and that they
arrived together, the two girls because their maids, and they
were like, oh right, well, they're so distinguished.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
All the ideas that this is weird.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Isn't that mental? That is mental?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
He was hypnotizing me on how amazing polyamory is, and
then I was kind of challenging him on some of it.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
So I went on the.
Speaker 6 (16:09):
Day the other day with a girl who is married
but the opening of the relationship has a husband who
has the same name as me and also the same
nickname as we. But anyway, we had a lot of common.
We got on really well, and we met very quickly,
just for a quick drink, just to be like. And
afterwards she was like, I liked you too much. I'm
not here for this, right, I'm here for like you know,
(16:30):
I'm here. I'm not here for that. I'm not And
I was like, interesting, because I can do that as well.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
But I don't know if I could do that.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Yeah, I don't have those feelings when I'm.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah, especially at the beginning of opening up a relationship,
I would freak out.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
I think that was me, Yeah, because the rules would
be obviously, this is purely physical.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
This is not so I don't know it's also.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
But also I don't know if I don't know, is
anything ever purely vision if it's happening more than once.
I think one night Stan can be purely physical. And
I think I've literally had seven people before that. I've
not even boken a word.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
To wait, stuff the stuff, the cliff grace, what how
does that even work? Where were you and like what
were you signing to them?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
No, I just feel like like I, you know, it's happened.
It happened to me last summer and Marseille, Like I
was in a club and I just like looked at
this guy and then we started kissing like each other,
and then we you know, left and we went and
had sex. And so my friends call it my like
a maturist. And my friends say, like, I have this
like sometimes very rare.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Now it used to be more frequent by you.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Used to have this like ball like a b U
l L, like a like the animal like ball mode
where I'd be out and I just would suddenly be
like I need to have sex, and so I just
like look at someone and I'd be like, let's have sex.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
You're like a mine. You're like that, that's what you
should be for alloween. You should dress the mine like
a sex mine.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
And I bet I would shag.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I bet I would shag another mine.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Carry on the cliff.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
But I had to have ongoing sex and like physical
intimacy or someone.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I find it's hard for that to be Like I.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
Think you can have really good sex with someone that
you're purely sexually. I think I'd like that before where
I for some reason, I know they're really hot and
they're really nice, but for whatever reason, I have not
had that. You know, I don't massively fancy them or
I'm not really intoent And I know that for some
people would be like a juxtaposition, but for me that's happened.
(18:21):
I've been a bit like why do I fancy It
doesn't matter?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
That?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Is he not like kind of explaining your exact issue
with being in a parlor.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Well, I think I think it was actually more a
humble brag. I think he was just trying to be
like I went on a date with this woman who
was like, do you know what, I like you too much?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah? I like you too much? So would you see
him again?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
No solid answer now, nothing personal. Also, he's fine, he's
got five girl friends.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah, he's believing. He's doing grand next time.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
On twenty eight dates later, I mean films, dancing, and
a bunch of hippie adjacent things like contact, improv, psychedelics.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Not sure that is, but I mean a lot of
these things.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I don't know what they are.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
I don't know what I don't know what circling is.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I know what boordering is.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Ald me, I'm a servo. Can it?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Twenty eight Days Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.
For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. The series
is presented by me Grace Campbell, with help from Roz
Pursal and Dan Whye. The producer is Diggrey Way. The
executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are mithillly Raw
and Max O'Brien. Production management from Sharie Houston and Charlotte Wall.
(19:45):
Willard Foxton is our creative director of Development.
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